Chapter 16 The first part three spring and summer between heaven and earth

I shouldn't have let Xiaoxi go away. I should have expressed my love to Xiaoxi earlier. I regret. Xiaoxi has been away from my house for half a month, and there is no news at all. I wrote an email to Wudaokou friends mailbox, but no one replied. I searched for the word Wudaokou friends, and there was a lot of information related to Wudaokou or friends, but I couldn’t find it. Xiaoxi's post is different from the last time Xiaoxi used her feichengwuraook e-mail address and the online username of If You Are the One OK.Xiaoxi now knows that someone is watching her, and her email address and online thread name are probably no longer related.It is very likely that the e-mail address of Wudaokou friend was specially used to contact me at that time.Now, what address and screen name does she use on the Internet?

My reaction was too slow. After Xiaoxi left, every day I passed, I became clearer how much I loved her.I would go to hell for her. Inexplicably, my sense of happiness that lasted for more than two years disappeared.I longed for love so much that I was no longer happy. One day when catkins and begonia petals were flying together in Beijing, I went to Niang Dong’s house, walked into her bedroom dejectedly, took off my jacket and leather shoes, and lay on the bed. Dong Niang began to undress in front of me, she said: "Take off your clothes, old friend, today is free of charge". I asked, "Why is it free?"

"Today is the last time," she said. I asked, "What last time?" She said: "I'm leaving, leaving Beijing." I sat up and said dejectedly, "You are leaving Beijing." Dong Niang looked at me and teased me: "Don't cry, don't cry. Baby, Dong Niang has never seen you so unhappy like today in so many years. You are my happy baby, aren't you?" I said, "I'm really unhappy." She said, "Let Niang Dong give her a hug." She hugged me, and I said: "Xiao Dong, let's chat". She let go of me, looked at it, and said, "I'll tell your fortune with Tarot cards."

She got out of bed.I don't like to call her Mrs. Dong, I like to call her Xiaodong, just like she was in heaven and earth back then.Xiao Dong knew that I was a writer and asked me to recommend novels to her. In fact, she just loves to read novels. She has read many Qiong Yao, Yan Qin, Cen Kailun, Yi Shu, and Zhang Xiaoxian without my introduction.I asked her to read translated novels, Jane Austen first, and she actually read all six of them, and she read more carefully than me. Afterwards, she read a lot of translated popular novels.I remember I asked her which novels she liked the most, and she said "The Bridge of Madison County" in the United States and "How Many Times the Sunset Is Red" by Qiong Yao.Although our reading tastes are different, because she is also a novel reader, I seem to be closer to her.Later, she stayed at home to pick up guests. I have been looking for her for so many years, and I feel that she is still Xiaodong who reads novels.For a while, some Taiwanese guests often played poker and smoked cigars at her house, and I also participated a few times. They called my little Dong Niang Dong after Dong Niang.

She was sitting on the bed with a tarot card, and I picked up the books beside her bed. They were the mainland edition of Deer Bridge and Racine's, which showed that she was still reading big novels.She said, "What do you want to ask?" I casually said, "Where is my lover?" She was going to do the math for me, but I said instead: "No, no, no, it's something else."I don't have that much confidence in her card skills. I always feel that she is just joking. If she really said a place and it changes, I have to decide whether to listen to her to find it.I cannot put my fate in her hands.I said instead: "I am at a crossroads. The first road will lead me to a stable and comfortable life, which is actually very good, but I will always be a little dissatisfied in my heart. The second road will encounter troubles, even insurmountable obstacles." Trouble, but it may lead me to find true love and greatest happiness, which path should I choose?” I asked such a very Tarot question.

She flipped some cards, split them into two sides, and said that the first path was quiet and rich, and the second path had obstacles, many uncertain elements, but there was love.Her answer was exactly repeating my question. Then she said: "This is the card of secondary change. You have been on the first road for a long time and want to change to the second road. Go for it. You will not be reconciled if you don't."That's probably what I want to hear. I said, "Xiao Dong, I still like to call you Xiao Dong, thank you." Xiao Dong: "Old Chen, it's the first time I've seen you in these two years... your real side".

I said, "The real side? Was I not real before?" She said: "Before, before you were like everyone, all day, all...". My heart beat faster and I said, "Full of happiness?" She said: "Yes, starting more than two years ago, you, my other guests, and even the people around you are full of happiness!" I said Xiaoxi's words: "Everyone around me has changed." Xiao Dong said: "It can be said that." I asked, "But you haven't changed, have you? Why?" Xiao Dong was silent for a while, and then said: "Old Chen, we have been friends for more than ten years, let me tell you the truth."

I nod.She said, "You know that I am a Taoist friend and nun in Hong Kong, right?" I said: "If you don't tell me, I don't know, I didn't see the pinhole." She said: "I don't use needles, and customers don't like it when they see it." I said, "Then what kind of drugs are you taking?" "Everything you can find and drink," she said. I said vigilantly: "You will write it down for me later, I want to know what kind it is. Go ahead, what's the matter with taking drugs?" She said: "Sometimes it's high, sometimes it's good, isn't it? But sometimes, we are sober, and then we can see that the world has changed and the people around us are not right."

I said, "What's wrong?" She said: "It's just wrong. It's different from before. Everyone including you, Chen, is too...too happy. I can't say it. Anyway, it's different from before, and it's not like our drug addicts. Hi, but it seems to be a very gentle, very gentle little hi.” I tried my best to introspect, as if I had a little insight, but I couldn't escape to see myself. She continued: "My boyfriend and I can't bear it. My boyfriend is an Australian. He used to compile a backpacker travel book and has been in China for 20 years. My boyfriend often says that the mentality of Chinese people changes within a few years. Once, the southern tour was a change in 1992, the macro-control was a change in 1994, the return of Hong Kong in 1997 was a change, the entry into the WTO in the millennium was a change, the SARS in 2003 was a change, and the Olympic torch and the Olympic Games were seized in 2008. The organization has changed again, and it has changed a lot in the past two years. My boyfriend said that before the global ranking of the National Happiness Index, the top few were always Nigeria, Venezuela, and Puerto Rico. I don’t know where it ranks, but suddenly China has ranked first in the past two years, and more than a billion people say they are very happy. Do you think there is something wrong with the Chinese people? Are they so happy?”

I think, Xiaodong really has a different view after following this boyfriend. She continued: "My boyfriend is also a drug addict. Once we finished taking drugs and we talked about Jane Austen. It was really wonderful. We will get better after that. Do you remember the crackdown that year? At that time, I Don’t you live in Wangjing? I knew someone would report it, so I hid at my boyfriend’s house in the diplomatic apartment, and didn’t dare to go out for a few weeks, otherwise I don’t know if I’m still alive. Look, don’t you remember?” I said: "The memory of that time is really vague..."

She said: "It's normal for people not to remember now, but it's not normal for us to remember. This is why my boyfriend and I can't stand it. In addition, we have been in Beijing for the past two years, and the goods we want have become more and more difficult. Looking, it seems that there are fewer and fewer Taoist friends, so we went to the mountainous area of ​​Yunnan at the beginning of the year to see if the situation there would be better. We found that the people there are more similar to me and my boyfriend, of course Many of the people we meet are Taoist friends, many of them are very bad people, some are good people, and there are also people from mountainous areas. They don’t have the indescribable little hi of the flat people. My boyfriend’s name is Xiaoxiaoxiao Hi do hi-lite-lite. Sometimes he speaks exaggeratedly. He said that now everyone is the person on the poster of the Cultural Revolution workers, peasants and soldiers. You may not see it when you are in it. Now it’s not just Beijing, we’ve been all over the country This is the case in many places, hi-lite-lite everywhere, except for those mountainous areas or remote areas in the northwest. My boyfriend and I discussed it for a long time, and we decided to move to the Yunnan National Highway 320 near Myanmar.” I said, "I know someone who feels very similar to you, and she's really annoying too." Xiao Dong said, "Really?" I said: "She is taking anti-anxiety drugs." Xiao Dong said thoughtfully: "Maybe anti-anxiety drugs have the same effect." I said: "Maybe so. She is the second way I just asked about Tarot."