Chapter 15 Friends of Wudaokou in the first part three spring and summer

After May Day, I turned on my computer one morning and received an email from wudaokoupengyou. In the past, I would delete emails from unknown sources for fear of poisoning, but recently I opened them one by one.As expected, Wudaokou's friend is Xiaoxi. Xiao Xi asked me to wait for her at the gate of the open-air farmers market near the south gate of Gongti. Usually, I also like to go to the vegetable market when I have nothing to do.There are four distinct seasons in northern China, and fruits and vegetables follow their seasons, which can be seen most clearly in vegetable markets, not to mention fresher than supermarkets.The vegetable market makes me feel in touch with the common people. I can’t do without contact. People are crowded. If you block people, those aunts and uncles will push you away with their shoulders and bodies, because they are holding vegetables in both hands.

Today, I am in a hurry.Xiaoxi was already half an hour late.The management authorities in Beijing are very outrageous. This farmer's market is only allowed to open until ten o'clock in the morning, and now it is only ten minutes away from ten o'clock.In my heart, I scolded those petty officials in Beijing for being too vicious, and they didn't even have ordinary people in their hearts.At this time Xiaoxi called me Lao Chen behind me. When I turned around, Xiao Xi smiled, looking very happy.I said, "You're here!" She said, "I'm here!" She held a canvas bag in her hand and said, "I'm going to buy vegetables, you wait for me here."

I said, "No, I'll go with you". In the last ten minutes before the closing of the market, the flow of people reached its peak. I followed Xiaoxi, she walked and she walked, and she stopped and stopped. It felt like I was always next to her and smelled her body odor, but she focused on asking and bargaining. , pick, pay, get back the change, and then push the person in front of you with your shoulders to open the way to another stall.The rapid passage of ten minutes made me feel like I had found the long-lost experience of forgetting myself. Xiaoxi said in an email that she would come to my house to cook a meal for me, which really made me look forward to it.

When the vegetable market came out, Xiao Xi said, "Today I can only eat vegetables and fruits." I said, "no problem". Xiaoxi said: "Is there rice at home?" I said: "Yes!" In fact, I didn’t have any, but after receiving Xiaoxi’s email, I went to Carrefour to buy rice, oil, condiments, chicken, beef and mutton, and added kitchen utensils.I guessed that Xiaoxi would want to buy some vegetables at the farmer's market. Xiaoxi said, "I made you anxious just now, didn't you?" I said, "no problem". Xiaoxi changed her tone and said, "I have to get rid of the people staring at me first."

It wasn't until she talked all the way that I realized how much she had done to meet me.She looked around on purpose a while ago, as if she wanted to move, and then found a furnished room in a tube building. This morning, she made an appointment with the landlord, moved a box of things there, and paid the rent. Then she took the canvas bag and said to go to the supermarket shopping.She guessed that one of the two people following her would stay and greet the landlord about installing bugs while she was away. She also realized that she had been arrested because of the sudden change in the landlord's attitude in the original place where she lived. Staring at being bugged.The other person probably won't be staring at her either, since she just paid the rent and should be back soon after going to the supermarket.But even if he followed her, he might just wait for her at the entrance of the supermarket, and the Jingkelong store she went to had two entrances, so he might still get rid of him.She said that she kept pretending that she didn't notice anyone following her, so the vigilance of those two people should not be high.

I'm already terrified.All of this may be just her imagination, she is nervous, she is superfluous, but it is also very possible that she is really being targeted. Didn't I see it with my own eyes in the small park of the art museum last time?I didn't try to prompt her at the time.The question now is: has Xiaoxi really gotten rid of the stalking?If not, I remember thinking to myself: Her troubles will soon become mine. "Are you sure no one is following us?" I asked. Xiaoxi stopped suddenly, turned around at 180 degrees, looked around, and said proudly: "Look, there isn't any."

The two of us stood on the empty Xindong Road, and there was no one at a glance.I feel quite ashamed that Xiaoxi has put so much effort into this meeting, and I just want not to cause trouble for me.But how can I not care about my safe and stable life? Xiaoxi asked: "How is it? Don't worry, it's fine." We are still standing on the side of the road.I asked, "Xiaoxi, what will you do in the future?" Xiaoxi replied with a Taiwanese joke: "Cold salad!" Then said: "Look, maybe I will leave Beijing in the afternoon." I stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to say.She smiled and asked, "Do you want to eat?"

We continue to walk back to Happy Second Village. It was the season of warm spring and flowers blooming, the air was full of the smell of locust trees blooming, a very strong and sexy smell, I felt my love surging, I wanted to shed tears, I wanted to say, Xiaoxi, let’s be together, we all Don't toss any more, let's live a good life together. But I dare not say, I still can't make up my mind. In the small kitchen, Xiaoxi cooks quickly, and I help blindly.She took off her coat, and the skin on her right arm was uneven, which was the scar from being hit by a military vehicle that year.My mood has calmed down a bit, and I thought to myself: What a good woman full of flaws.

While cutting Chinese cabbage, she suddenly said, "Old Chen, our old friends have changed now." I remembered that in the small park, she said the same thing, and everyone around her changed.This time I asked: "How to reform? Tell me about it." She stopped and said, "It's very satisfying to become...Old Chen, are you satisfied?" I felt she was testing me, so I said, "Xiaoxi, why are you not satisfied?" This was indeed our conversation at that time, two people in their fifties and sixties. Xiaoxi was stunned for a while, and then asked: "Old Chen, do you still remember the feeling back then? You were there, my mother and I opened the first store in Wudaokou in 1989, and then reopened the new store in the 1990s. What? Why are we angry, why are we arguing, what are our ideals? Do you remember, Old Chen?"

I asked softly, "Xiao Xi, why can't you forget? The times are different!" Xiaoxi looked at me with a sense of loss, and said after a while: "I have forgotten too much. I was locked up in a mental hospital for a long time, and I have forgotten many things. I don't want to forget again." Just as I was about to say it again, Xiao Xi felt a bit reluctant to say: "Make the rice first", and then she immersed herself in chopping vegetables.I know I've lost her. While eating, Xiao Xi still had a smile on her face, but she had come to a conclusion about me, that I was one of the people around her who had changed.

Before meals, she took medicine, and told me frankly: "Psychiatric anti-anxiety medicine. But I don't think it's useful. I won't take it after I eat the leftovers." I complimented her on the deliciousness of the fried shredded pepper potatoes and vinegared cabbage. She said that it was great to have a chance to cook a meal for me. I thought her words had the taste of farewell. At the dinner table I tried my best to win her back.I kind of caught her train of thought, she felt that everyone around her was different from her, only she was still angry.I tentatively said, "Xiaoxi, do you know that some people are better at pretending, and pretending is to protect the real self."Seeing her eyes light up, I knew she was right. "Of course, if you pretend for a long time, you won't be able to tell the fake from the real," I said while Xiaoxi was listening. I just followed this topic and thought about how to say it: "Lu Xun said that some people will miss the lost good hell, because there are bad hells that are worse than the good hell. Needless to say, but in a good hell How do people choose between a false heaven? There are many people who think that, no matter what, a false heaven is better than a good hell. They knew it was a false heaven at the beginning, but they dared not or did not want to tear it apart. Over time, they even forgot that it was a false paradise, and instead defended the false paradise, saying that it was the only heaven. However, there will always be a small number of people in the world, even a very small group of people, who would rather suffer Choose a good hell, because in a good hell, at least everyone knows clearly that they are in hell.” I don't know what I want to say, but I feel that what I say makes sense.Xiaoxi was listening very seriously. I remembered that in mainland China, once Lu Xun moved out, people of a certain age and culture would be more willing to listen.At least, these words narrowed the distance between Xiaoxi and me again. Xiaoxi thought for a long time before saying, "Are you saying that I miss the good hell so much, so I refuse to accept the fake heaven?" I said slyly: "I'm talking about two options". Xiaoxi asked: "Between good hell and false heaven, which one do you choose?" She's on point, and this is the key question, and I have to be extra careful.I wanted to get closer to Xiaoxi, and said vaguely: "When necessary, I may be willing to try to think about hell." I saw Xiaoxi smiling, if we were next to each other, I could hug her, but we were separated by a dining table. Xiaoxi said, "Old Chen, I want to hug you, okay?" Needless to say, I walked over and hugged Xiaoxi tightly. Xiaoxi said: "Welcome to the good hell!" I wanted to say let's be together, but the words got out of my mouth and I took them back. My doorbell rang.Xiaoxi's body stiffened suddenly, I let go of Xiaoxi, thinking, they have come to the door, this time there is no escape, so I had to bite the bullet and open the door. It was Wen Lan who rushed in. She threw herself on my chest and said, "Someone is bullying me, I need a shoulder".She treats me as a permanent backup? Wen Lan glanced at Xiaoxi who was standing stiffly, pointed at Xiaoxi and said, "Who is she?" Xiaoxi picked up her coat and canvas bag, and said as if she had committed a crime: "No one, no one, I'll go right away." I said, "Xiaoxi, don't worry about her...". Xiaoxi said "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" and walked out the door, but Wen Lan blocked me and didn't stop me. Wen Lan said, "Xiao Xi? Are you and Auntie okay?" At this moment, I was even more afraid that Wen Lan would pester me again: "How did you find this place?" Wen Lan said: "Happy Second Village, ask the guard where the Hong Kong writer lives and bring me here." I pointed at the door sternly and said, "Go, go immediately!" Wen Lan didn't seem to believe her ears, and said sharply, "What?" I said, "I never want to see you again!" Wen Lan also asked: "What did you say?" I said: "I said: Get out!" Only then did Wen Lan fully understand: "Okay, you are ruthless, let me tell you, you offended me, just wait and see!" Wen Lan walked to the door, turned around and gave me a middle finger, and I returned her a middle finger.