Chapter 45 Chapter 87

The spring of 1973 began unexpectedly.Lu Xiaolong and Shen Li were walking in the Summer Palace where there were few tourists. Today was Shen Li's birthday, and the weather was cloudy, so the two of them didn't have a good time swimming.Lu Xiaolong felt that the spring in front of him was neither yin nor yang, which made people feel gloomy. Looking at the Kunming Lake that had not yet thawed, he felt inexplicable depression in his heart.They walked south along the quiet shore of the East Lake, and gradually arrived at the Seventeen-Arch Bridge.Standing on the bridge leaning against the stone railing, blowing the cold wind, looking at the bleak ice lake, looking for topics.

After returning to Beijing for more than a year, there was no great revolution for Lu Xiaolong to participate in, and the voices of consolidating the achievements of the Cultural Revolution appeared in the newspapers, and he became a person with nothing to do.In his eyes, Beijing has become a city without a trace, and all the people are packed in their own grids. He is like a superfluous punctuation mark, with nowhere to go.The political salon that was active for a while last winter has long since disappeared. Everyone is accepting the fait accompli, and all high-spirited talk has become a luxury.The crowd around him is also getting smaller and smaller, and it can even be described as "few like morning stars". Lu Xiaolong found that he was already a headless fly, and began to feel the depression of boredom.Now, he can only live on the money sent by his father every month, and sometimes even accepts alms from Shen Li.After losing his career, he panicked like a homeless mouse. However, he didn't want to admit his panic, and always believed that he could find impressive achievements in mediocrity. He said: "This year It goes by so fast."

Shen Li turned her head to look at him, and said: "Yes, every year passes faster." Lu Xiaolong asked: "Did you think it passed slowly in the past?" Shen Li said: "The first two years of the Cultural Revolution in 1966 and 1967 felt very slow." Lu Xiaolong recalled the past few years ago, and his thoughts were in a trance.The atmosphere of this kind of conversation felt like years, so he cheered up and said: "I don't regret every year." Shen Li asked: "What about these two years?" Lu Xiaolong said: "I wandered for a year in 1971 and conducted social surveys. In 1972 I stayed in Beijing and did nothing, but I read a lot Books." Shen Li said: "However, you can't read any more afterward."

Lu Xiaolong felt that these words hit his sore spot, he was a little annoyed, he said: "The way of civil and martial arts, one piece and one relaxation." Shen Li turned her body around, leaning on the white stone railing, and said to Lu Xiaolong: "Don't float like this. Now, let’s find a way to arrange ourselves.” Lu Xiaolong said: “Arrange what?” Shen Li said: “Haven’t all the educated youths returned to the city? You should also find a way to return to the city and find a job.” Lu Xiaolong said: "I don't like people urging me." Shen Li said, "I'm not urging you, but persuading you. It's better to be pragmatic." Lu Xiaolong said, "I've always been a pragmatic person." Shen Li glanced at him, Sighing, he said, "Then you should be more pragmatic now." Lu Xiaolong raised his voice and said, "I am pragmatic, but I am not the same as some people."

Shen Li smiled helplessly, and said, "Don't be so fragile, you won't listen to anything." Lu Xiaolong waved his hands and said, "You can't make me be as pragmatic as your Shen Xia." Shen Li Said: "Why do you talk like this? There is nothing wrong with Shen Xia being so pragmatic." Lu Xiaolong said fiercely: "I will never be so pragmatic, it's too vulgar." Shen Li lowered her eyes, smiled self-deprecatingly, and said: "You don't need to be so excited, I'm thinking of you. Today is my birthday, you shouldn't be so domineering to me." Lu Xiaolong looked at Shen Li speechless for a while, and after a while, he calmed down and said "I'm relatively fragile now, so I overreacted to what you said just now." Shen Li stroked her hair and said, "I don't care if I'm a little too aggressive, but you can't do this every day." Lu Xiaolong said: "Why am I like this every day? Shen Li was afraid of irritating the other party, so she tried her best to say euphemistically: "You are often like this now, you don't feel it." Lu Xiaolong was silent, and after a while, he said: "I understand what you mean, I just don't want to Just eat and eat." Shen Li said: "I know this, but you have to be realistic, the current society doesn't need you to toss about." Lu Xiaolong squinted his eyes and looked at the promenade of Longevity Hill in the distance, and said: " Not necessarily." Shen Li said: "Let's not talk about this topic."

Most of the Kunming Lake in early spring is still frozen, and some places are green and rippling, but because of the flowing water, it is still covered with large pieces of ice near the shore. The geometric figures, the cold air blows up in bursts, reminding visitors that spring has only begun in name, and winter is still ruling everything.The two walked along the Seventeen-Arch Bridge. A very gentle arched bridge sent them to the small island in the lake like a rainbow. Surrounded by the cold, the small island looked very desolate. There were large and small houses with twists and turns. The twisted stone steps were walked by them loosely.Lu Xiaolong tried his best to express his interest in traveling, looked around, and made some comments from time to time: "It is said that this is the Dragon King Temple, but the scale of the Dragon King Temple cannot be seen." Shen Li also has the responsibility to jointly maintain a good atmosphere. Looking at the small courtyards with his face, he repeated a few words about the evaluation of architecture that he had heard when he came with his father in the past.Lu Xiaolong looked happily and said: "Did you memorize it from the travel map?" Shen Li smiled lightly and said: "I heard it from my father." Lu Xiaolong asked casually: "You and When did your father come here?" Shen Li said: "A few years ago, it was the first year you went to the countryside."

Lu Xiaolong said: "It's not that close from the gate of the park, and your father has bad legs, so he walked so far." Shen Li said: "We came here by boat. They walked around." Lu Xiaolong looked at Shen Li suspiciously, and said, "Then who helped your father to go to the island?" Shen Li said, "Me." Lu Xiaolong asked again, "Who is watching the boat?" Shen Li blushed a little, and the scene of boating in the spring of that year appeared in front of her eyes, she hesitated and said: "Shen Xia." Lu Xiaolong's face turned dark, and You Xing, who was barely holding on, was destroyed again.

When the mood is bad, the deserted island is especially dull.The two of them were trying their best to maintain a fairly friendly atmosphere, but in fact, when they were lingering on the ups and downs of the steps, they already felt that today's tour was a failure. They stopped at the edge of the island, and on the other side of the lake was the Buddhist Incense Pavilion on Longevity Hill surrounded by pines and cypresses.Lu Xiaolong looked at it for a while, and said: "The Summer Palace is a very vulgar and boring place." Shen Li turned her head and glanced at him, without saying a word.Lu Xiaolong waved his finger again, and said: "Dig out a lake, pile up a mountain, and build a few pavilions. This is what ancient China would do. Then, let the Empress Dowager Cixi go around in a sedan chair and take the All the money used to build the navy is thrown here." Shen Li still didn't say a word.

Lu Xiaolong looked at a stone step road escorted by white stone railings and stretched out steeply to the water surface. He said: "You guys landed from here?" Shen Li glanced at the stone step road and said: " Maybe." Lu Xiaolong was full of unease thinking about the scene of how Shen Xia helped his family of three ashore one by one, but he didn't say anything else, facing the open lake, he picked up other topics and said: "I really want to find someone In the class, I have to go back to Liubao first, where my registered permanent residence is still there. I have to leave the countryside to go to the city, to the factory, and I have to get the recommendation and approval of the brigade commune. This makes me quite difficult. You know my relationship with there, They will never treat me kindly, no one will recommend me, no one will let me go." Shen Li said: "Didn't your father go to Shanxi? You won't ask him to help?" Lu Xiaolong said: "The last thing I want is to go through my father's back door." Shen Li didn't say anything more, Lu Xiaolong looked at Shen Li and said, "Don't look at me like that." Shen Li smiled embarrassedly , said: "What kind of gaze?" Lu Xiaolong said: "Compassionate gaze." Shen Li said: "Why are you so sensitive?" Lu Xiaolong said: "I am not sensitive." Shen Li said: "You do this I was so frightened that I dared not say anything or look at you, you shouldn't be so fragile." Lu Xiaolong said: "I'm not fragile at all." Shen Li sighed and said: "Let's go back, this is too uncomfortable gone."

Lu Xiaolong stood still stubbornly, and said: "If you want to go, go, I want to stand here alone for a while." Shen Li looked at Lu Xiaolong. A blue tunic suit with a wrinkled collar.She stretched out her hand to smooth her collar and said, "Let's go, what are you doing standing here alone? You shouldn't be unhappy every now and then." Lu Xiaolong showed a stubbornness suitable for the cold weather, and said, "I'm not angry , I just want to be alone and think about something.” Shen Li stretched out her hand to straighten Lu Xiaolong’s collar again, and said, “If you don’t leave, I’m leaving.” Lu Xiaolong said, “You wanted to leave at first. .”

Shen Li said: "Why are you talking like this? It's really unbearable." Lu Xiaolong turned his face and said loudly to Shen Li: "I knew you couldn't stand it, you should run away as soon as possible, don't stay with me as much as you want." Obligation, you leave as soon as you want, there is no need to feel uneasy." Shen Li's face changed a little with anger, she lowered her eyes and endured for a while, and said: "I have nothing to worry about, I just don't want to see you like this." Lu Xiaolong said: "If you don't want to look, go away." Shen Li looked at the blue veins on Lu Xiaolong's innocent and protruding forehead, sighed with pity and helplessness, and said: "Then you stay alone. , I'm leaving." She wrapped her woolen coat and walked away with her hands in the coat pockets.Lu Xiaolong looked at Shen Li's back in a hurry, and shouted hysterically: "Go, go, hurry up." Shen Li turned her head and gave him a sympathetic look, and walked towards the Seventeen-Arch Bridge at a faster pace. go. Lu Xiaolong saw Shen Li hurrying past the arc-shaped Seventeen-Arch Bridge, turned around, and walked north along the shore of the lake toward the gate.He stood at this angle, and Shen Li could see it as long as she turned her head. He looked at Shen Li from the corner of his eyes, and as long as Shen Li looked towards him, he would turn his head and pretend to look forward.However, Shen Li never looked back, and disappeared into the pavilions and courtyards towards the gate of the Summer Palace.He felt lonely and bored all of a sudden, and he was also vented. Dragon King Island was placed here like a machine made of children's building blocks. The desolate atmosphere floated in all directions, and the wind blowing from the lake brought the cold and fishy smell of ice.He sighed to himself, and patted the cold white stone railing on the edge of the island, except for the pain in his hand, there was no other meaning.I wandered like a riddled animal on a deserted island, and finally left the island boringly. I walked higher and higher along the arc of the Seventeen-Arch Bridge, and then walked lower and lower along the arc of the Seventeen-Arch Bridge. Finally, I came to lake shore. He continued to walk forward with his back to the park gate, and occasionally met one or two tourists. An old man wearing a melon cap with his hands behind his back humming a little tune was strolling in front of him. When he turned his head, a pair of round eyes stared blankly at He, he felt that he didn't seem qualified to wander alone, so he quickened his pace.After walking a long way, I arrived at the south bank of Kunming Lake after a bend, and then made a big circle around to the west bank of Kunming Lake. Here is the so-called "Su Causeway", built in imitation of Su Causeway, with small stone bridges , small pavilions one by one.Su Causeway protects Kunming Lake on one side, and on the other side, there is a lake with no tourists. This place is a bit more desolate, with clumps of dry reeds and weeds growing by the lake, and small forests cover the land by the lake.Go straight along the Su Causeway, and you will be far away from the famous Marble Boat in the Summer Palace. He didn't want to take this bright road, so he deviated westward and walked to a desolate place by the lake where weeds and reeds were bedding.The distant Xishan looks a bit like the forehead of an old man under the hazy sky. The horizon is occupied by it, and it also looks desolate.The soil under the feet is dry and hard, and powder-like loess will rise when encountering loose places. A gust of cold wind blows from the small woods, and the dust-like loess is gently pushed on the ground. You can avoid it by speeding up your steps. , and then watched it jump into the reedy lake, and finally fell hesitantly, disappearing into the ice-covered lake.He wandered around alone, looking here and there like a little field mouse not looking for food, and sat down on a willow tree that grew horizontally by the lake.The willow tree grew horizontally close to the lake, and then tilted up to grow upwards. He sat on the horizontal root and watched the clusters of withered and yellow reeds explaining the history since last autumn.He absently grabbed the reeds one by one, and the reeds broke one by one in the grip of the ice surface. Thinking of the work of the villagers weaving straw hats out of wheat straw, he became absent-mindedly interested.He plucked more reeds, pinched and split them into shriveled reeds, and sat there to weave them.The sun poked out a little bit from the haze, shining on him like a light bulb, and he was like a lone man living on a deserted island, concentrating on his labor.When he squinted his eyes and looked at the work in hand, he found that he had woven a rough straw hat with no brim, with reed sticks protruding from the brim.He held it in his hand and looked at it, put it on his head, and held it upside down in his hand, like a small bag for temporary fruit.He gave a wry smile, stood up and kicked the flour-like loess, leaving a wind-blown loess formation behind him, and walked forward saunteringly. He returned to the east bank of Kunming Lake along the original road, and he was about to walk out of the gate any further.He bought a piece of bread from a small shop on the side of the road, fed it to his stomach three times, and saw paper flowers, red and pink, with green paper wrapped around wire stems.He thought about it, bought a few flowers, put them on the straw hat, looked at it again, and thought it was a very unique birthday present for Shen Li, so he laughed at himself and forgave himself for being overly emotional in the morning. After leaving the park, I rode on the bike to Shen Li’s house. In order to keep the straw hat from deforming, I held the handlebar with one hand and held the straw hat to my chest with the other hand. People scanned his strange riding posture from time to time along the way, but he rode more and more. Energetic.He wants to protect his carefully crafted gift, and he is satisfied that he can break free from his narrow mind.It was already past 1:30 noon, and Shen Li's family must have had lunch. Walking into her house with such high spirits would definitely make Shen Li feel interesting.As for whether Shen Li's parents are affectionate or indifferent to him, it doesn't matter. He hasn't been there much recently, and the politeness between them has always been maintained. He will never be an annoying person. With his excellent riding skills, he escorted his gift into Xiyuan smoothly.After stopping the car, he shook his head again, making a lively smile on his face, and then stepped up the steps steaming. These few steps showed the courage and heart of a man, and he was satisfied with himself again.Push open the door and enter the living room. There is a round table in the center of the living room, and six or seven people are toasting wine and clinking glasses.Shen Li was the first to see Lu Xiaolong, she was sitting facing the gate, then, Shen Li's parents also turned their faces, Shen Xia was next to Shen Li, and there were a few people Lu Xiaolong didn't know sitting next to Shen Xia The men and women looked like relatives of Shen Li's family.Shen Li stood up in embarrassment, and greeted Lu Xiaolong: "Have you eaten?" Shen Hao thought of the proper etiquette, turned to look at Lu Xiaolong and asked, "Have you eaten? If you haven't eaten, join us together." .” There was an unnatural unnaturalness in his expression.Looking at this bright and rich banquet, Lu Xiaolong felt the coldness of outsiders.He used to hold the straw hat as enthusiastically as a monk holding a golden bowl, but now he lowered his hands, and the straw hat stuck to his leg. Shen Li walked around the dining table wiping her mouth and came over, she asked: "Have you eaten?" Lu Xiaolong said: "Yes." Shen Li said: "Then have some more soup." Lu Xiaolong said: "No need." He heard a table behind Shen Li talking about Shen Li's birthday today, and they were still talking about Shen Xia and Shen Li's childhood sweethearts story.Shen Li turned her head and looked at it, and said to Lu Xiaolong: "Shen Xia's parents are here today." Lu Xiaolong glanced over Shen Li's shoulder at the auspicious banquet, and once again felt that the place was bright, Shen Li said: " Come and sit in my piano room for a while, I'll go up after dinner." Lu Xiaolong felt his shabby, he said: "You guys eat, I'll go first." Shen Li looked at him uneasily, her eyes fell On the straw hat that Lu Xiaolong had woven hastily in Lu Xiaolong's hand, she seemed to understand immediately when she saw the paper flowers inserted on it, and stretched out her hand and said, "Is this your birthday present for me?" Lu Xiaolong looked at it in his hand, It was only at this moment that I realized what a rough and clumsy weaving it was, with the reed pieces interspersed unevenly, with triangular and trapezoidal holes everywhere, and the two paper flowers were neither fish nor fowl.He shook his head and said, "It's just for fun." Shen Li still wanted to say something to him, but Shen Hao said loudly: "Lili, please sit down with Xiaolong, has he eaten yet?" Shen Li looked back Looking at the dining table, he said to Lu Xiaolong: "You can stay for a while." Lu Xiaolong smiled slightly and said, "No, I'm leaving." Then he raised his voice slightly and said: "Old Shen, I'm leaving." Then Hearing Shen Hao's loud and comfortable farewell, Shen Li sent him to the door. He stepped into the car, squeezed the straw hat casually in his hand, glanced at Shen Li again, got on the car and left. He was riding aimlessly on the street, and unknowingly followed the road just now to the gate of Beiqing Middle School.A few people rode out from the campus. They seemed to be familiar teachers. Among them was a male teacher with shaggy hair and a long black face. He was his chemistry teacher who had taught him in the past. The street flowed in a chaotic manner, and he subconsciously rode in the direction of the Summer Palace, looking back at the teachers who were talking while riding not far behind. He immediately speeded up, and there was a gust of wind in his ears, the distance must have been widened, and the chaotic streets passed by quickly, and the big archway of the Summer Palace was in front of him again.After passing the archway, a curved bend, you will arrive at the gate of the Summer Palace again.At this moment, he seems to have nowhere to go, as if he has made an enmity with the Summer Palace, and he still wants to come here to trample on it.After depositing the car and buying the ticket, he stepped into the high threshold of the Summer Palace for the second time holding his rough straw hat.He still walked along the main road on the east bank of Kunming Lake, and within a few steps, he arrived at Zhichun Pavilion, a large pavilion like a small peninsula stretching out into the lake. When he came here during the spring outing in middle school, it was often crowded with students eating bread. At that time, groups of students were shouting and making noise, but now, the place is deserted and deserted.The inside of the pavilion is gloomy, while the gloomy white glare of the ice lake lies outside, the dull Foxiang Pavilion of Longevity Mountain in front of the right, and the ethereal Su Causeway in the distance in the front. On the left front is Longwang Island, and the Seventeen-Arch Bridge connects it to the lake shore here.Seeing the thick white ice on the shore that is out of contact with the lake shore, I feel the cold here again. He sat down on the long mahogany stool connected to the pavilion, and tore off the straw hats in his hands one by one. The two paper flowers were torn up first, and then thrown out, and the dismantled reeds were thrown away one after another. After leaving the pavilion, the unhurried wind blows them, and they fall in disorder by the lake.Thinking of the scene of himself covering his chest and taking the straw hat as a birthday present, he sneered and satirized himself, and then, in a very bleak state of mind, wondered absurdly: Will Shen Li suddenly appear in the Summer Palace and look around for her? He, as soon as he was spotted, ran towards him in a mixture of joy and anxiety.He then smiled coldly again, mocking himself again.Shen Li would not come to look for him, and Shen Li also never expected that he would come to the Summer Palace again. Shen Li and Shen Xia's family were having endless birthday meals together, and after the meal, they would drink tea and chat endlessly.Then, Shen Li and Shen Xia would go to the piano room, one would play the piano, the other would play the violin, playing and singing endlessly.Then, the parents of the two families would chat endlessly about Shen Li and Shen Xia's childhood sweethearts, so that when it was time for dinner, the two families would go to the kitchen together, cook together, and chat together Smiling and clinking glasses around Guangming.Then, Shen Li will send Shen Xia's family of three to the gate of Xiyuan, and wave goodbye to them affectionately.Then, Shen Li would walk slowly in Xiyuan alone, and when she returned home, she might think of him, Lu Xiaolong, with a gloomy expression.Then, she went upstairs and sat in her room to think about things. He didn't know what she was thinking about. What made him feel sober at the moment was his cold feet.Looking at the sneakers on my feet, there was a hole in the big toe.He wiggled his toes and saw that the hole in the sock was exposed by the big toe.When strolling in the Summer Palace today, Shen Li looked at his sneakers and said, "You should change your shoes." Lu Xiaolong said with a big grin, "It doesn't matter if the shoes are worn out, I always change them when they are worn out. "This is the heroic style he has been proud of for many years. He has won his prestige among his peers with this unkempt revolutionary style. However, at this moment, he somewhat feels that it is ugly to have such a big hole.He leaned on the wooden pillar, stretched his legs on top of each other on the bench, and thought of the letters he wrote to Shen Li when he was wandering in the countryside.Perhaps Shen Li would guess that he had returned to the Summer Palace, and might run back to look for him after lunch.Knowing that this possibility is unlikely, he still couldn't help but turn his head and look in the direction of the gate. On the deserted road, there were only random tourists in twos and threes, most of whom were foreigners with strange expressions.He sneered aloud, mocking himself, but when he raised his eyes, he was excited. It was obviously Shen Li who came in a hurry. He immediately stood up, walked out of Zhichun Pavilion at a faster pace, and exposed himself to the bright eyes on the shore. place, then turned around and waited for Shen Li's discovery.Footsteps passed behind him in a hurry. He turned his head and saw a woman wearing a woolen coat similar to Shen Li's, rushing forward like a funeral. Her haggard messy hair was nothing like Shen Li's. However, he still wanted to rule out With a one percent chance, he quickened his pace and rushed over from behind.After chasing the woman, he pretended to be casual and turned his head to look at it, but it turned out to be an ugly face.He turned a corner and went down to the shore of the lake, pretending to be trying to step on the ice, and after letting the woman go, he climbed up the shore again, and returned to Zhichun Pavilion to continue to spend time. The sun was setting and people were freezing to the bone, but he still couldn't stop his dreamlike fantasy: Shen Li would suddenly appear in the Summer Palace, would see him sitting here rather than submit to death, and would comfort him to leave.He felt more and more that this was wishful thinking, however, he still waited.He imagined that Shen Li might go to the place where he lived to look for him, and if she couldn't find him, she might think of the Summer Palace, and she would come to the Summer Palace to look for him again. It would be a complete ending for him to leave under her persuasion.The sun was more westward, and it was approaching the west mountain. The more deserted park finally buried his ridiculous delusion. He blew his nose, walked down Zhichun Pavilion, and began to retreat in failure.The whole afternoon's wishful thinking was extremely absurd, but he was stuck in it and couldn't extricate himself. Sometimes people would be confused for a while, and no one can always be sober. A man strolled towards him, dressed in a blue padded jacket and with a crew cut, very much like his classmate Tang Beisheng who went to Liubao to jump the queue with him.He smiled numbly, he had too many illusions today, he saw several women like Shen Li one after another in the afternoon, and now, he sees a man as an old classmate.Approaching so ignorantly, he was taken aback, the other party looked too much like Tang Beisheng: not tall, with a long round face full of youthful bumps, the other party also looked at him in astonishment.It was the astonished expressions on both sides that made him confirm that it was indeed Tang Beisheng. The other party recognized him at the same time and called out his name. The two grabbed each other's arms, affectionate and emotional. It has been more than two years since Lu Xiaolong left Liubao Village to wander in the late autumn of 1970, and seeing him here again today, I really have mixed feelings.Lu Xiaolong asked, "When did you return to Beijing?" Tang Beisheng said, "I came back last month." Lu Xiaolong asked, "How long have you been away from Liubao?" Tang Beisheng said, "It's been a few months. I went to Sichuan to visit an uncle of mine, lived there for a while, and then returned to Beijing." Lu Xiaolong asked: "Who else is there in the village?" Tang Beisheng replied: "Halfway left, and the rest are ready to leave, maybe I have gone a lot in the past few months." Lu Xiaolong asked: "Is the big man still there?" Tang Beisheng said: "He was still there when I left." Lu Xiaolong asked: "Where are the others? Who is Lu Minmin now? What about it?" Tang Beisheng said, "I left it to the big man when I left." "How about Lu Jimin and Jia Ruoxi?" Lu Xiaolong asked.Tang Beisheng said: "I don't know. I heard that the two of them wanted to go to the Workers, Peasants and Soldiers University, but they didn't seem to succeed. Jia Ruoxi was forced to have two miscarriages by Liu Renxin, and the surrounding villages knew about it." After a pause, Tang Beisheng went on to say: "I wanted to find you as soon as I arrived in Beijing. Why did you come to the Summer Palace alone today?" Lu Xiaolong said: "It's boring. What about you?" Tang Beisheng said: "Me too. I will go to my father's unit at noon I went to the policy implementation office, but my nose was in the dust.” Tang Beisheng’s father used to be the director of the bureau, but he was criticized and killed in the first year of the Cultural Revolution.Lu Xiaolong asked again: "You are annoying, why are you running here?" Tang Beisheng said: "My father and his agency are just outside the back door of the Summer Palace." The two stood like this and talked for a while, and Tang Beisheng said, "Let's find a place to eat." There was a restaurant in the park next to it, and the two of them went in. There was no one in the empty restaurant, and there was nothing left in the evening. A little light came in from the windows, and the faces of a dozen oily dining tables were all stern and motionless.The waiter was a fat girl wearing a white apron. When she heard that they were going to eat, she said carelessly, "There are only pancakes." Tang Beisheng asked, "What else is there?" The fat girl put her hands in the middle pocket of her white bib and said, "The food is cold." "It doesn't matter if it's cold or not," Tang Beisheng said.From the big basin, I took a plate of stewed lentils with sliced ​​meat, and another plate of fried cabbage with sliced ​​meat. I ordered two bottles of wine and four pancakes, and the two of them set up a stall to eat.The fat girl swept the floor and said, "Hurry up and eat, we'll be off work in ten minutes." The two finished two dishes and a bottle of wine, and bought another order of smoked fish. A bag, together with four biscuits and a bottle of wine left over, was carried out of the restaurant.Lu Xiaolong looked at the setting sun and said, "Should we go out? It's time for a quiet garden." Tang Beisheng said, "It's okay, let's go in and take a walk. It's cooked, there are a few gaps, just jump out." The two of them followed the route that Lu Xiaolong walked alone at noon and walked half a circle around the lake to Su Causeway.The sun had already set, and the sky began to darken. Tang Beisheng said, "Let's find a place sheltered from the wind, and then finish eating." Under a small bridge hole, there was no water on the dry ground, with yellow weeds growing, and several large bluestones.Tang Beisheng said: "Let's go down." The two ran down the bridge opening stepping on uneven stones.As expected, the place was sheltered from the wind. The two of them flattened the dead grass half a person's height and put it under their buttocks. They put a bottle of wine, four biscuits, and a pack of smoked fish on the stone slab.Tang Beisheng knocked open the wine bottle again, handed it to Lu Xiaolong and said, "Let's just drink from the bottle." Lu Xiaolong shook his head sleepily, and said, "I never drink alcohol. I drank a bottle of wine with you just now. I'm a little drunk." Tang Beisheng said: "It's okay, I'm drunk, let's roll in the grass all night. Do you remember the secret meeting we held in the mountain valley the night before you left Liubao?" Lu Xiaolong said: "Of course I remember." Tang Beisheng said, "I didn't expect it to come here in two years." Tang Beisheng also spread out a pack of smoked fish, and the two of them broke apart the sesame seed cakes, ate the smoked fish while drinking the wine.The pancakes and smoked fish were finished, and there was still half a bottle of wine left. It was completely dark, and the lake outside the bridge hole and the reeds were all indistinct. Only the other party's eyes were shining in the darkness.Both of them were a little dizzy, but you still drank from the mouth of the bottle one sip at a time.Tang Beisheng said while drinking, "With the strength of wine, we can survive here for one night." Drinking and chatting like this, Lu Xiaolong felt that the strength of wine was vigorously rising up like withered grass on both sides, and many past events were revolving before his eyes: first, the establishment of the Red Guards was initiated in 1966, then he went to the mountains and went to the countryside, and finally suffered The whole group broke up, each found a way out and went back to the city through the back door to make a living.Tang Beisheng took a sip of the wine and said, "If I still can't come out this time, I specially asked someone to buy a few boxes of vitamin B12 injections from Beijing and give them to the newly transferred secretary of the commune. "Lu Xiaolong asked: "What is Liu Renxin doing now?" Tang Beisheng said: "It's still the deputy secretary of the commune, a real power faction." Tang Beisheng took another sip of wine, put the wine bottle on the stone, and said: "Our generation is pure It’s cannon fodder. I slept in the countryside for several years and got rheumatoid arthritis. Several of our educated youths in Liubao have rheumatoid arthritis. Now that I think about it, I’m really an idiot.” Lu Xiaolong grabbed the wine He took a sip from the bottle, wiped his mouth and said, "Don't say regretful words." Tang Beisheng said: "It's not regretful words, but angry words." Lu Xiaolong said: "Don't say angry words either." Tang Beisheng grabbed the bottle, He poured the last bit of wine down his neck, put down the bottle and said, "At this point, you are still holding back your fart." Lu Xiaolong said, "I have nothing to dare." Tang Beisheng said, "I Don’t be so allergic.” Lu Xiaolong said: “Why am I allergic?” Tang Beisheng shook his head drunkenly, looked at Lu Xiaolong and said, “You organize everyone to walk to the countryside and lead everyone Shit, of course you don’t want to deny yourself. It’s all this far, so there’s no need to be so allergic.” Lu Xiaolong said: “Allergy, all of you say I’m allergic, and you’re allergic.” Tang Beisheng said: “Who are ‘you’ ? Did you drink too much?" Lu Xiaolong said: "'You' are bastards." Tang Beisheng unsteadily stretched out his hand and grabbed Lu Xiaolong's shoulder, hiccupped, lowered his head and said: "You called me a bastard, I said we are all bastards. You're an asshole too." Lu Xiaolong evaded his hand, Tang Beisheng grabbed Lu Xiaolong's shoulder with the other hand, and at the same time put his face on his arm, shaking, and continued to mutter: "You should admit that you are also a bastard." Xiaolong evaded the opponent's hand again and said, "I don't admit that I'm an asshole." This time he hit Tang Beisheng's chin with a fist.Tang Beisheng narrowed his eyes and swayed from side to side, then freed his hand to grab Lu Xiaolong's neckline, and said, "You have to dare to put down your airs and admit that we are all bastards." Lu Xiaolong went to hold the opponent's hand again, but Tang Beisheng stretched out another hand, grasping his neckline tightly with both hands, and at the same time buried his face in his arms and dangled.Lu Xiaolong pushed hard, and Tang Beisheng fell on his back, knocking his head loudly on the stone. Hearing him groan "Ouch", he struggled to get up, touched the back of his head and said, "You put my His head was broken and bleeding." As he spoke, he wiped a handful of wet liquid on Lu Xiaolong's face and said, "Look, is this blood?" When he saw the smell of blood, it made him a little sober. He grabbed Tang Beisheng's hand and said, "Let's stop fighting." Tang Beisheng was still swaying to grab Lu Xiaolong, and said insistently, "You You have to have the courage to admit that we are bastards." Lu Xiaolong said: "I don't admit it." Tang Beisheng said: "If you don't admit it, you can't do it!" Lu Xiaolong said: "Your head is smashed, stop making trouble." Tang Beisheng Leaping forward, threw Lu Xiaolong onto the withered grass, turned over and pressed on Lu Xiaolong's body, and continued: "We are bastards." At this moment, a shout came from the bridge: "Who's down here? Come out!" Then, two flashlights shone down from both sides of the bridge opening.The two became more or less awake. Lu Xiaolong pushed Tang Beisheng hard, and Tang Beisheng let go, and the two struggled to get up.I saw the flashlight running around to the end of the bridge, and ran down the slope on the shore of the lake over there.The two people covered the light with their hands and said, "What are you doing?" Those who were obviously park patrols said, "What are you doing?" Tang Beisheng said, "Why are you showing people's faces? It's insulting people. Hearing the other party sneer, he said, "Insulting people? The park has been quiet for a long time. You are hiding here because you want to destroy it." As they spoke, the flashlight swept the two people's faces back and forth.唐北生大概是酒醒过来了，他抓起一把碎石子扔了过去，碎石子打在人的脸上、身上及手电筒上，一支手电被打灭了。巡夜的四个人都带着棍棒，立刻被激恼了，逼了上来。卢小龙抓起酒瓶子，唐北生又从地上抓起两块石头，四个拿着棍棒的人将两个人团团围住。唐北生大喊着举起石头，一根粗木棍击中他的手腕，唐北生喊了一声，石头落了地，手臂像鞭子一样落了下来。卢小龙发疯一样举起酒瓶朝对方抡去，酒瓶砸碎在头顶的桥洞上，听见对面有人“哎哟”了一声，碎玻璃渣溅落在那个人的脸上，接着，四个人的木棍凶狠地殴打起两个赤手空拳的人，直到把他们打得头破血流，反扭着双臂押出了桥洞。 黑夜里，沿着苏堤往前走，寒冷的风带着冰湖的气味吹来，卢小龙完全清醒了，但他已经难以逃避这个狼狈的局面。他们被押到了公园派出所，分别被手铐背铐在了圆木柱上。 过了好一会儿，来了一个值班民警，是个眉毛长得像黑毛刷的老警察，他在六七个手拿棍棒的联防队员的簇拥下对卢小龙和唐北生进行了审问。问他们是干什么的？两个人回答是上山下乡的知识青年。老警察登时显得通情达理。又问两个人在哪儿插队？他们又如实说了。一听在这么远的外省山区插队，老警察的表情又平顺了一些。问他们插队前是哪个学校的？两个人想了想说：“是北清中学。”北清中学离颐和园不远，老警察显然又放松了一些表情。又问两个人叫什么名字？唐北生先报了一个假名字，卢小龙想了一下，也报了一个假名字。老警察记完了，吩咐道：“铐他们一晚上。明天早晨和北清中学联系一下，是他们的人，让他们领回去，如果是假冒的，就将他们送分局。”人都走空了，两个人被继续背铐在院子的走廊上，后半夜天越来越冷，两个人只能双臂在背后倒搂着木柱，倒着脚，实在困得不行了，就耷拉着脑袋背靠着木柱打一个盹，一个闪失醒过来，两臂已经连冻带铐完全麻木了。唐北生说：“这滋味太难受了。那年你被刘仁鑫吊在公社，是不是更难受？” 卢小龙说：“是。”唐北生又说：“你还不承认咱们是炮灰，是混蛋？”卢小龙没有说话。 一直熬到天亮，小院里有了进进出出的人，都用半好奇半冷漠的目光扫视着他们。唐北生发现了卢小龙脸上的伤痕与血迹，说道：“你这脸上有你的血，也有我的血。”卢小龙也看到了唐北生头破血流的惨样，两个人尽量紧靠着木柱，好使自己被铐的手臂少一点疼痛。 唐北生说：“这时候的感觉真是任人宰割。”天更亮了，听见一群人说话的声音，走进了院门，那个昨夜审讯的老警察背着一手抬着一手，指着铐在柱子上的卢小龙和唐北生问道：“这是你们学校的吗？”卢小龙抬头一看，进来几个北清中学的老师，其中有米娜。米娜看见卢小龙和唐北生头破血流的样子，十分惊讶。她走到卢小龙面前，不敢相信地说：“怎么会是你？”而后，转头对那个老警察说：“他们原来是我们学校的学生，后来去外地插队了，这个叫卢小龙，那个叫唐北生。”老警察及周围几个联防队员一听说卢小龙的名字，都睁大了眼睛，说：“这就是卢小龙啊？久闻大名嘛。”卢小龙闭上了眼，听见老警察说：“他们俩昨天晚上报的是假名字。”又听见米娜说情的声音。接着，有人上来替他们下了手铐。当卢小龙和唐北生随着北清中学的几个老师往外走时，老警察走过来拍拍卢小龙的肩膀，说：“你就是卢小龙啊，怎么落到这一步？”卢小龙闭了一下眼，什么也没说。 他们出了颐和园，米娜和几个老师说了两句安慰的话，先走了。唐北生又和卢小龙互留了联络地址，也分手了。卢小龙推上车走了几步，看见路边有一个水龙头，他停住车，捧着自来水洗了洗脸上的血迹，掏出手绢轻轻擦干了脸，又一次觉出脸上伤痕的疼痛，然后，在杂乱无章的街道上懵懵懂懂地骑着车。北清中学的校门过去了，西苑的大门也到了，他当然不会再走进去。一拐弯进了日月坛公园的西门，骑着车到了公园中心的喷水池，他把车支在一边，在喷水池边呆呆地坐下。近七年前，北清中学的学生曾在这里开始了文化大革命，一个叫贾昆的老师被打死了，一个叫米娜的老师后来被他从喷水池中拉了出来。 喷水池冬天没有水，干枯着，好像这些年重修过，显得比六七年前更新一些了。公园里冷冷的，没有什么游人，他眯着眼，想着自己的遭遇，觉得这个社会已经不需要他了，他叹了口气，推上车离开了。 就在同一天早晨，在江西一个冷清的院子里，一个68岁的矮个子老人一大早就醒来了，他就是文化大革命中被打成“第二号走资派”的邓小平。1969年秋，他被流放到这里劳动改造，三年多过去了，今天他将依照中共中央的通知返回北京。一早起来，发现取暖的火炉已经冰凉，离出发的时间还有一两个小时，他决定再生一次火，暖一暖全家。 三年来，冬天的劈柴、敲煤、生火已成了他承包的家务之一。他看了看站在一旁的夫人和坐在轮椅上残疾的儿子以及站在一旁的女儿，又看了看满屋已经打好包裹的行李，开始有条不紊地生火。漏尽炉灰，在炉底铺上几层炉渣，将废纸团成团，扔在炉膛里，点着以后，再放上几层薄劈柴，薄劈柴燃着以后，又放大块劈柴，等火熊熊旺燃之后，倒上一簸箕均匀的小煤块。浓烟冒过之后，煤火燃着了，再倒上一簸箕较大的煤块，用铁钩将煤块在火中铺匀，盖上炉盖，看着窗外浓烟滚滚。又过了一会儿，浓烟过去了，炉火已经烧旺，他搓搓手，满意地看着自己操作的成果，与一家人等待着启程。他忽然看到挂着的窗帘，问道：“这是我们从北京带来的吧？”夫人点头说：“是。”他指着说道：“我们把它摘下来带走。” 在卢小龙推车离开日月坛公园的同一时间，邓小平一家登上了开往北京的火车。