Chapter 44 Chapter 86

In the winter of 1972, Li Daiyu's mother, Ru Zhen, returned to Beijing along with a large number of faculty and staff of Beiqing University's Jiangxi Cadre School.When her mother's wrinkled face appeared at the door, Li Daiyu suddenly felt that the house was very crowded from then on, as if she had to swallow something she couldn't swallow.Although she had drawn a clear line with her mother, since her mother returned to school, she would definitely return to this home, which nominally belonged to her mother.Plus, her parental issues are about to be resolved, which makes her past "drawing the line" statement a natural death.When the mother looked at her ignorantly, she knew that her daughter had never "drawn a line" with her in her mind. more than degree.

The mother's body became more rigid, moving around the room like a full sack containing two short legs, two arms and a head.Li Daiyu couldn't help but shudder at the thought of living under the same roof with her mother, eating in the same rice cooker, and taking care of her life from now on.She is used to being free by herself, but now she has to carry this big burden, like a snail crawling with its own house on its back.The only thing that made her feel good was that her mother brought her share of the salary, which brought benefits to her poor life for several years.Li Daiyu accepted this unacceptable reality in this way.Her sky immediately narrowed. Every morning when she got up, she had to face her mother's endless nagging. At this time, the first thing she thought of was to hastily deal with breakfast and then run out of the house.There are not many good places to go in the severe winter, and she has to go back to this den after turning around. Whenever this happens, she feels that the house is an important condition for living.Fortunately, they lived in a four-bedroom house. If the mother and daughter were locked in the same house, they would not be able to breathe.Not long ago, she returned to the city from a "sick retreat" in the suburbs of Beijing where she jumped in the queue. She was teaching the second grade in a nearby elementary school. The next thing I think about is how to close the door of my own room and stay alone for a while, so that I can go to bed early.If her mother died suddenly now, she probably would not feel any grief, just a sense of relief.When she thought that she would be so vicious, she was a little scared, but there was nothing she could do about it.

What caused the mother and daughter to conflict was a very specific thing.The Party Committee of Beiqing University is preparing to implement policies for Li Daiyu's father, Li Haoran. The so-called counter-revolutionary crime of hiding Soong Meiling's photos and waiting for the Kuomintang to counterattack the mainland seems to be overturned.Li Daiyu is naturally excited, so that she can lose the burden of bad family background.However, her mother refused to change her words no matter how much she tried to persuade her. She nagged and said to someone from the school's policy implementation office: "Li Haoran is a counter-revolutionary."

This made the person very embarrassed. The other party was a middle-aged cadre with a pockmarked face. He scratched the back of his neck and said, "You have to think about it. You have to be responsible for Li Haoran, you, and your children." Take responsibility." Ru Zhen raised her pale and swollen face and stared blankly at the other party, saying, "Li Haoran is a counter-revolutionary, I just want to draw a line with him and never reverse the case." Pockmarked face looked at Li Daiyu and smiled in embarrassment. Li Daiyu hurriedly explained that before his father committed suicide, he wrote a note to his mother in addition to a confession letter and a letter to his mother. As a last resort, it's a pity that the note was destroyed by the mother and daughter at that time.

Ru Zhen shook her head and said, "Don't believe the note he wrote, it's a counter-revolutionary smoke bomb." Li Daiyu was anxious and angry, and said, "Why are you still messing up the outline and online?" Ru Zhen opened her eyes and said, "" I just want to go online." Li Daiyu could only say to a few people from the policy implementation office: "My mother is a little bit out of order now, let me talk to you sometime." Ru Zhen said: "Why am I not normal? You are not normal." She turned her head to look at the pockmarked face and said, "I am normal, I performed best in the cadre school." She waited for the other party's understanding and praise, and the other party said perfunctorily, "You are the best performer." She gave Li Daiyu a wink, and then said to Ru Zhen: "We will talk about this today, and we will talk about it later when I have time." At the gate of the courtyard, Ma Zilian waved his hands and said, "We know about your mother's situation. She became insane in the cadre school. We will contact you about your father's matter." Li Daiyu watched them leave helplessly.Looking back upstairs, her mother was on the balcony staring blankly at the person who had gone away. That face hung in mid-air, making Li Daiyu feel horrified.

Li Daiyu lingered at the gate of the courtyard with a heavy heart for a while, and was about to go home, when she raised her head again, she found her mother was staring at her from the balcony, the staring gaze made Li Daiyu's scalp numb, and her whole body had goosebumps , as if a little mouse was moving carefree. When he looked up and saw an owl looking down on him, his whole body was terrified.She didn't dare to look up and entered the building door and went up to the second floor.Just as she was about to push open the half-covered door, she found her mother blocking her in the corridor. The swollen and wrinkled face and staring eyes made her feel terrified.She hesitated before entering the house and closing the door behind her.Mother was still blocked in the corridor, Li Daiyu had to say: "You should rest early." Ru Zhen rolled her eyes and said, "I just insist on drawing a line with Li Haoran and never reverse the case." Li Daiyu He said again and again: "Okay, okay, okay." Abandoning his mother, he walked sideways into his room, closed the door and locked it.

After a while, her mother knocked on the door. Li Daiyu tried her best not to make a sound in the room, and heard her mother say, "Why don't you open the door? I want to talk to you." She insisted on not answering.After beating and nagging like this for a while, Li Daiyu sat down in front of the writing desk when she heard the sound of footsteps going to another room.The room was a bit dark, and the evening had come inexplicably, and it always gets dark early in winter. She turned on the desk lamp, put her face in her hands and fell into deep thought.One of the important materials for defining my father as a counter-revolutionary is the report written by my mother. Now, to rehabilitate my father, my mother must withdraw the original report and write a new one; however, for this mentally disturbed mother, you It was difficult to explain this matter clearly to her, so what should I do next?She hesitated.While thinking hard, she heard the knock on the door. She listened for a while, stood up and opened the door, and asked, "Who?" She heard a familiar answer: "I, Jiang Xiaocai." She opened the door, and Jiang Xiaocai Standing in front of him intelligently and honestly, his eyes blinked behind the glasses as thick as the bottom of a glass.Li Daiyu hurriedly let the other party in, and her mother also walked out of the room when she heard the sound. Jiang Xiaocai greeted Ruzhen affectionately, and followed Li Daiyu into her room.Ru Zhen wanted to follow in, but Li Daiyu grabbed the door and said to her mother, "Let's discuss something." Ru Zhen started nagging again: "What are you discussing without telling me? I'll discuss it with you. "Li Daiyu resolutely pushed her mother out of the door, and her mother nagged at the door for a while before dragging her steps back to her room.

Jiang Xiaocai sat down on the chair in front of the desk, and Li Daiyu also sat down on her own bed.Jiang Xiaocai asked with great concern: "How is Professor Li's redress?" Li Daiyu said: "The Policy Implementation Office has been here before, and now it's my mother who keeps telling people not to reverse the verdict. She is already confused." Jiang Xiaocai said: "Now there are only two ways: one way is to gradually wake up your mother, and then let her write new materials, explaining that she wrote the report against her will under the circumstances of forced confession; the other way is to let the hospital issue a certificate , it means that your mother is now mentally disturbed." Li Daiyu said: "Isn't this complicated to do?" She now relies heavily on this father's past graduate student, Jiang Xiaocai nodded and said: "It's complicated, but it has to be done." The two Individuals began to discuss how to do it, and after discussing to a certain extent, they couldn't continue discussing, and chatted about other topics.Li Daiyu asked: "How is Lu Wenlin?" Jiang Xiaocai sighed, with a resigned calm on his white and thin face.Li Daiyu asked: "Is she still a '5.16' element?" Jiang Xiaocai said: "I don't know, it seems to be left there. Now she has ovarian cysts and duodenal ulcers, and she is going to be hospitalized for surgery " Li Daiyu asked: "Then can she come back to Beijing?" Jiang Xiaocai said: "She has already been assigned, how can she come back? The only way is to see if she can ask for leave and come back to Beijing to see a doctor." When Jiang Xiaocai said this, The expression is numb and docile, and the voice is soft and soft, as if narrating a country legend.

Li Daiyu asked again: "What are your plans for the future?" Jiang Xiaocai said: "It depends on the situation. I am going back to school to teach now. I don't know how much her mother's situation will affect her? However, there is no need to think about anything now." Let's take it easy." Suddenly, hearing three loud and restrained high-fives outside the window, Jiang Xiaocai turned his head and looked out of the dark window.Li Daiyu felt a little embarrassed immediately. Since her mother came back, it was inconvenient for Ma Shengli to come upstairs directly, so he often used three high-fives as a signal to call her.They also agreed that if Li Daiyu was at home during the day, she would draw the curtains, and if she was not at home, she would close the curtains;Now, with the lights on in the room, it was natural to report that she was in the room.According to the usual procedure, she should run to the window to show her face, and then make a gesture: two arms parallel means that she will go down immediately; Hold it high and make a V shape to indicate that the horse can come up.However, she couldn't react now, she pretended to be indifferent and continued talking to Jiang Xiaocai.There were three more clear and restrained high-fives from downstairs, Jiang Xiaocai turned his head to look out the window again, Li Daiyu also looked at the window involuntarily, such strange applause repeated downstairs is easy to make people suspicious Yes, she decided to ignore it and continue talking to Jiang Xiaocai.Jiang Xiaocai squinted his eyes and smiled, and said, "Is Ma Shengli contacting you?" Li Daiyu's face turned red all of a sudden, and Jiang Xiaocai said, "Even I, who just returned to Beijing, have heard about your affairs. said."

Li Daiyu suddenly felt a little ashamed, and Jiang Xiaocai calmed down and said, "Hurry up and answer the code, or he will continue to shoot, which will startle the neighbors." Li Daiyu hurried to the window and crossed her arms in a T-shape. Made a contact signal to wait a while.A single high-five sounded in the darkness downstairs, indicating that Ma Shengli had seen her answer. Li Daiyu went back to the bed and sat down, Jiang Xiaocai stared at him with a smile, and said, "Whether this Ma Shengli is bad or not, it's okay for you." Li Daiyu turned her head and looked out of the window, and asked, "What's so bad about him?" Jiang Xiaocai felt that he had made a slip of the tongue, and said, "I just said it casually." Li Daiyu said, "It's okay, tell me." Jiang Xiaocai said: " He and I used to be opposing factions, so I must think he is not good, so you don’t have to listen to me.” Li Daiyu asked: “Regardless of whether the opposing faction or the opposing faction doesn’t exist now, let’s talk about it objectively, what about Ma Shengli? Like?" Jiang Xiaocai said: "It's hard to say, you'd better judge for yourself." Li Daiyu pondered thoughtfully.Jiang Xiaocai said: "What contact code did you give him just now?" Li Daiyu said: "Tell him that I will go down later." Jiang Xiaocai said: "That's it, we can discuss Professor Li's matter another day." Jiang Xiaocai got up to say goodbye.

Hearing the movement, Ru Zhen appeared at the door of her room again, Jiang Xiaocai nodded politely, and said to Ru Zhen, "Professor Ru, I'm leaving first." Probably few people call Ru Zhen "Professor Ru" anymore, and Ru Zhen listened His eyes widened, he tried to think about this new concept, and with a flattering smile, he said, "Come back when you have time." Li Daiyu listened to her mother's nagging patiently, and felt that she and Jiang Xiaocai had time to spare, so she turned off the lamp in the room and signaled Ma Shengli that she should go downstairs.Then she shook off her mother and descended the stairs in the dark.When she walked outside the gate of the courtyard, she looked around, saw no one, walked forward for a while, and came out of the broad horse Shengli from the dark shade of the trees.The two of them picked a small path and walked towards the most secluded place in Beiqing University.The campus on a winter night is as dry and cold as an ice cellar, with gusts of cold wind blowing scraps of paper across the ground like small whirlpools.Occasionally, in the darkness, a person passed by in a daze, like a lost dog who had no time to look around.After leaving the faculty and staff dormitory area, we came to a pond. The pond is euphemistically called "Mandarin Duck Lake", but it is actually just two pieces of water the size of a basketball court. Surrounded by barren miscellaneous trees, there is a ring-shaped small pine forest outside the miscellaneous trees, surrounding Yuanyang Lake.The two came here one after the other, looked around, and then started walking side by side.Ma Shengli's first sentence was: "What did Jiang Xiaocai do at your house?" Li Daiyu turned her head to look at Ma Shengli in the dark, and said, "Did you see it?" I thought it was wrong when you answered the signal. Later, when you answered the signal, I walked around in front of your house and stared at the courtyard gate." Li Daiyu said, "You know how to watch!" Ma Shengli said, "You don't want to What do you think I am doing now?" Speaking of this, both of them were a little downcast.Ma Shengli has been a bit out of control in Beiqing University for a while. He was originally asked to take care of the logistics, but now this power has been taken away, and he is asked to take charge of the school's joint defense patrol team, which is regarded as a matter of the security department.Ma Shengli's feeling at school will be different immediately. Li Daiyu said: "Jiang Xiaocai is very concerned about my father's redress." Ma Shengli said gloomyly: "Does he need to care?" Li Daiyu said: "He doesn't care, who else cares? Can you care now? Look at you What can this hiding person do to help?" Ma Shengli was a little annoyed, and said, "Why am I hiding? Your mother is insane, do I dare to come to your house to provoke her?" Li Daiyu said: "What is there?" Don’t dare? Jiang Xiaocai doesn’t dare? You still have a guilty conscience.” Ma Shengli was even more annoyed, he clenched his fists and said in a low voice, “How can I be guilty?” His eyes were burning, as if he wanted to hit someone. Li Daiyu also stopped, glanced at him, and said, "You think no one else knows about our relationship. Jiang Xiaocai knew about it just a month after he came back." What did you say?" Li Daiyu glanced at him angrily, looked at the small pine forest around, and said, "You clapped your hands downstairs, and Jiang Xiaocai said, is it you who are contacting me?" Ma Shengli was stunned, Then he clenched his fists and walked backwards on the spot, as if he wanted to attack someone.Li Daiyu looked at him coldly, and waited for him to finish spinning like a spinning top before saying, "If you want people not to know, unless you don't do it yourself, maybe other people in the school already know about it." Ma Shengli punched his thigh hard , Said: "My resignation this time may also have something to do with this matter." Li Daiyu looked at him calmly, as if looking at a ferocious animal in a cage, waiting for the cage to release his patience, and said: "A good man should be a good man, don't be afraid to take responsibility." Ma Shengli asked with dark eyes Said: "What else did Jiang Xiaocai say about me?" Li Daiyu thought for a while and said: "He said you are bad, but you are okay with me." Ma Shengli clenched his fists again, and looked at Li Daiyu covetously.Li Daiyu glanced at him and said, "Are you surprised when people say you are bad? I am surprised when people say you are good." Ma Shengli thought about it for a while, and then he was speechless. The two walked in circles in the shadow of the small pine forest. Surrounded by this shadow, Yuanyang Lake reflected the light of the stars and the moon like frosted glass. Squatting or standing, a gray and white stone road is fluffy around the lake like a belt.They didn't dare to go into the light, they just walked slowly kicking small stones in the circular shadow of the small pine forest.After walking too much, the two leaned their backs against the tree, and you and I stood facing each other in the shadows. Seeing Ma Shengli sighing, Li Daiyu asked, "What's the matter?" Ma Shengli said, "The matter of Beiqing Middle School is bothering me again." Li Daiyu asked, "Is it about Jia Kun?" Ma Shengli said: " Yes." Li Daiyu said, "Who is messing with you?" Ma Shengli said, "The main thing is Mina. The other people present at that time were all students, and they had already been divided into different places. Besides, many people beat you together that day. , I didn’t do it alone, and now Mina is biting me, saying that I took the lead.” Li Daiyu said: “Jia Kun is a hooligan, what’s the problem if he is killed?” Ma Shengli said: “Is he a hooligan? It’s hard to say now, as far as his problems are concerned, he might not be considered a hooligan.” Li Daiyu said, “Then what should we do?” Ma Shengli said with gloomy eyes, “I’m not afraid. Yes, in the whole country, I have never seen such a reversal of the case of the Cultural Revolution. If the case was reversed in this way, the entire Cultural Revolution would have to be reversed from the beginning to the end. It is impossible. It’s just that Mina is too bad. As long as one person bites you, it will be quite troublesome." Ma Shengli stopped talking, and Li Daiyu was also silent. At this moment, she felt a gnawing hatred for Mina.She said: "Why is Mina so bad?" Ma Shengli grabbed the pine branch and pulled it hard, and it broke. He said: "She should have been beaten to death at that time, and she shouldn't have left her this breath." In the bright light, Ma Shengli and the surrounding pine trees became black silhouettes, floating in front of his eyes like a grotesque engraving. "Then what are you going to do?" Li Daiyu asked.Ma Shengli said, "Let's get over it. It's not a big problem, I have a solution." He looked at Li Daiyu in the dark and said, "If your father can get over the case, our pressure will be relieved." When he said this, Ma Shengli's eyes were shining in the dark, especially the two large whites of the eyes were shining, like the eyes of a beast appearing in the dark.Ma Shengli continued: "I still need to find a way to find Zhu Lihong and get in touch with her. She was the first to whip Jia Kun and Mina with a belt at your school. The problem, she can't escape, I want to discuss with her a unified caliber." Li Daiyu said: "She seems to have a hard time in the Air Force." Ma Shengli said: "I know, her matter is over, she is not considered Lin Liguo's best friend, she just ran with her for a while." Li Daiyu staggered coldly, clasped her hands on her chest, and fell into a moment of silence: she was concerned about Ma Shengli in front of her, her father's rehabilitation, and herself.She has been in poor health since she had a miscarriage last year, and her menstrual flow is always endless. In Ma Shengli's words: "I only see cloudy days, but no sunny days." Every day, I watched myself become yellow and thin, and my neck became thinner and thinner, pitifully like a chicken with feathers.Li Daiyu's silence reminded Ma Shengli of something, and he asked feebly, "Have you felt better these two days?" She sighed and said, "That's it." When she said this, she felt I was thin and weak, with haggard bones supporting my thin and loose body.Thinking of going home and facing her nagging mother staring at her like an owl, she felt even colder all over her body, and a shiver ran through her whole body.Ma Shengli asked, "Are you cold?" She nodded, chattering her upper and lower teeth.Ma Shengli looked around, walked over and put his arms around her shoulders, and the two hid in the dark with their backs against a tree talking. Li Daiyu looked at the white Yuanyang Lake, although she felt that Ma Shengli's body temperature was warming her through the padded jacket, she still felt cold and wronged, so she shed tears silently.Ma Shengli wiped away the tears on her face with his hands, and coaxed: "Your father is about to be rehabilitated. As long as he can be rehabilitated, our relationship can be made public." Li Daiyu said while crying: "Rehabilitation is not You can help me, you have been coaxing me for so many years." Ma Shengli said: "Personal strength is very limited, it all depends on the general situation. Once your father is rehabilitated and your family background is gone, you will not be blamed. gone." Li Daiyu stopped her tears, looked in front of her in a daze, and said, "My father's problem is gone, but don't let your problem start again." Ma Shengli stretched out one hand and clenched his fist, bent his arm vigorously, as if to show his well-developed muscles, and said, "I won't have any problems at all. Don't worry, it's mainly the school party committee and the school revolutionary committee." A few people were changed, and the newcomers reused their people. I was excluded a little. There is no political reason here, and it will be reversed after a while. What happened to Mina won’t hurt me.” Li Daiyu asked: “Wang Lun’s opinion Do you still trust him?" Ma Shengli said, "I trust him quite a bit, and his top leader cannot be overthrown. He is a member of the Central Cultural Revolutionary Committee. Don't worry, I will be in power again in a short time." Li Daiyu calmed down comfortingly, Ma Shengli grabbed her hand and squeezed it, then turned her face to kiss her.Just when the two of them were starting to get a little hot, there was a loud voice in their ears: "Who are you? What are you doing?" The two of them were startled, and there were three or four people wearing red armbands standing not far away.Ma Shengli let go of Li Daiyu's arm, coughed, and said, "What do you do?" , Ma Shengli couldn't open his eyes.The flashlight went out quickly, and they heard them say, "It's you?" Ma Shengli shook his huge head and walked out of the darkness with his hands behind his back. Those people took a step back and gave him the light.Ma Shengli coughed a few more times, looked at those people, all of them were his defense team members, and asked: "How many of you are in the same class today?" Several people quickly replied: "Yes." Ma Shengli asked again pretending "Why are you the only ones?" The other party replied: "We divided into three groups and patrolled separately." Ma Shengli walked two steps on the spot with his hands behind his back, and said, "Okay, you continue to patrol." Several people nodded and bowed. away. Ma Shengli watched the patrol go away with his hands behind his back, stepped into the shadows and spat hard on the ground, saying, "It's really shameful, let them run into you." Li Daiyu was silent, she felt her humiliation.Ma Shengli was angry for a while, so he came up to comfort Li Daiyu, saying: "Don't pay attention to them, they dare not say anything, these people are my subordinates." Li Daiyu lowered her eyes and stayed there for a long time. , and then raised her head to look at Ma Shengli standing in front of her, she was determined to live like a human.