Chapter 10 Amy: Until Death (5) -1

The day that both Yao Xiaoping and Shi Yan feared finally came. One morning, just after finishing a class, the department secretary came to the classroom and called Yao Xiaoping outside to say a few words. In the blink of an eye, when Yao Xiaoping came back to the classroom, her face became very ugly. , I don’t know why, a description popped up in Shi Yan’s heart: “It’s like I just went to hell.” Although she has never seen the face of a person who just went to hell, she feels that this sentence appropriate. It just so happened that the next class started at that time, so Shi Yan didn't have a chance to ask Yao Xiaoping what was going on, but she could guess whether she asked or not, the department must have informed Yao Xiaoping that she couldn't stay in school.She was in a mess, and always felt that she was sorry for Yao Xiaoping, because at least 50% of her believed that the matter was caused by Excellence, and it was all because of her.The only thing she can comfort herself is that she is determined not to stay in school. In that case, it can prove that she did not think of paying Yao Xiaoping's "national wealth".

When she thought this way, she felt a sense of sadness in her heart, and she realized that the so-called "sadness" was actually the "sadness" of the bystanders and the "strongness" of the person involved, because she didn't feel any sadness in her heart, all of them were strong, There is a sense of relief and relaxation. She couldn't help but think of those martyrs who sacrificed their lives for the country, those underground party members who sacrificed themselves to protect their comrades, maybe they were in the same mood as her now, whether they sacrificed their lives or were heroic, maybe it wasn't for the cause or for others, It's for yourself, because if you don't sacrifice your life and don't be heroic, life will be difficult in the future, not to mention that the party and the people will regard you as a traitor or fear of death, even if they don't, you will feel guilty for the rest of your life. Forget it.

After she made up her mind, she felt calmer. She only hoped that get out of class would be over soon, so that she could tell Yao Xiaoping about her decision, so that the head teacher would not dream too much. If Yao Xiaoping had a heart attack in class, then she There is no point in making a decision, it is equivalent to preparing to sacrifice yourself to save comrades, and discovering that comrades have been killed by the enemy, it will be troublesome, because the organization may not know or believe that you are willing to sacrifice yourself to save others, It is a fact that your comrade is dead, and it is also a fact that you are still alive. Anyway, you have a hard time saying it, and it is more troublesome than being sacrificed.

Finally looking forward to the end of get out of class, Shi Yan hurried to Yao Xiaoping's side, ready to be Yao Xiaoping's punching bag, and also ready to be a scapegoat for the teacher's college.But Yao Xiaoping looked very calm. I don't know if she took out her heart as firewood during class, and now there are only dead ashes left. Yao Xiaoping didn't intend to speak first, so Shi Yan had no choice but to break the embarrassment.She asked: "Just now Secretary Wang—" "She said the dean wanted to talk to me—" Shi Yan thought, no wonder Yao Xiaoping was still standing there and didn't fall down. It turned out that the conversation hadn't started yet.She asked cautiously: "What do you think -- what will the department talk to you about?"

Yao Xiaoping curled her lips and asked back: "What else do you think they can talk about? It must be about not being able to keep me—" This was exactly Shi Yan's guess, so she hurriedly stated: "Yao, don't worry, if you can't stay in the department, I will definitely not stay in the department—" Yao Xiaoping looked at her like a psycho: "Why?" "Because I—I—don't want to pay your 'national fortune'—" Yao Xiaoping chuckled: "Shi, what you said is so funny that I can't help laughing even in such a bad mood. What are you afraid of sending 'national wealth'? If you don't stay, the spot will be given to Li Tree them, do you think that if you don't stay, the department will keep me?"

Shi Yan was stunned, this is true, why didn't she think of this just now?It seems that if Yao Xiaoping doesn't stay in the line, she will stay in the line as a matter of course, completely forgetting that Li Shu is coveting this position (she doesn't know the pronunciation of these two words, but she knows the meaning of the word, and thinks This word is unique, and no other word can replace it).She asked Yao Xiaoping: "Then—are you not sad?" "Why am I not sad? But I'm sad because I can't stay in the department, not because you stay in the department. What are you afraid of? Forget it, I'm not in the mood to go to class, go back to the dormitory, the conversation will not be until the afternoon .Is it because I'm afraid I won't have time to die? They're so annoying that I'm hanging on a rope to their beam—"

Shi Yan is not in the mood to go to class anymore, or she thinks she should not be in the mood to go to class now, otherwise it will be a harm to Yao Xiaoping, so she echoed: "I am not in the mood to go to class anymore, let's go." The two skipped class and went to the dormitory.Halfway through the walk, Yao Xiaoping said, "Do you dare to come with me to find Excellence?" Shi Yan was taken aback: "Why are you looking for him?" "Ask him for help. By the way, check his words and demeanor to see if he is playing tricks in the middle." Yao Xiaoping urged, "It will be good for you if I find out this, otherwise, if you follow him in a muddle, you will have trouble in the future." You suffered-"

"Then we—where are we going to find him now?" "Go to his dormitory and make a phone call first. If he's not there, you can go back to the dormitory and rest. I'll go to Yan Jing's place—" Shi Yan couldn't think of any reason to refuse, so she voted for it.The two of them ran back to the dormitory building to make a call, and found Joyo immediately, and said that they could go there now, and said that if there were not two of them, he would drive over to pick them up. After the two girls dressed up a bit, they went to find him at Zhuo Liang's residence.As soon as Shi Yan entered the door, she thought she was dreaming, because there were magazines and newspapers everywhere in Zhuoyou's living room, which was completely her classic scene of "a tube of writing brush".

Yao Xiaoping apologized hypocritically and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were busy—" Zhuo Zhuo moved the newspapers and magazines on the sofa aside, let the two of them sit down on the sofa, and apologized: "I'm sorry, it's too messy. I've been rushing to draft these days, and the house is a mess—" Yao Xiaoping kept the topic straight and said politely, "What masterpiece is Mr. Zhuo writing?" "Where is the masterpiece, it is a manuscript requested by "National Higher Education", and a manuscript requested by a national conference. It happens that there is a book and it is urgently pressed. Several things are put together. It's a bit—one has no skills—. What do you want to do with me today?"

Yao Xiaoping pointed to Shi Yan and said, "She wants to ask how the detention you helped her do—" Shi Yan was taken aback, how could this Yao Xiaoping do this?She obviously said she was going to find Zhuoyue, so why did she brazenly push this matter on her all of a sudden?When she's dumb and won't plead?She was about to defend herself, when Zhuo Zhuo said, "I'm really sorry, I've been too busy these days, I—— haven't gone to find those people yet. But don't worry, I'll go find them after I finish this—" Shi Yan quickly seized the opportunity and said: "Don't bother me, I'm not going to stay in school anymore, I told you the other day, maybe you didn't hear—"

Yao Xiaoping said: "Don't listen to her. She saw that I would not be able to stay in the school, and she was afraid that I would be sad, so she refused to stay in school. Isn't this too childish? Even if she didn't stay, the department wouldn't stay." I can't change anything—" Shi Yan explained: "That's what I said, but if you didn't stay in school and I stayed in school, I would always feel a little guilty—" Zhuoyou interjected and asked, "What are you guilty of?" Shi Yan was speechless when asked, and Yao Xiaoping said generously: "That's right, I thought you were the one involved in the matter of my detention in school - demolishing the bridge, so I told her this guess. I was just guessing. , who knows that she took it seriously and refused to stay in school, because she also believed that you demolished the bridge inside, and you must have demolished my bridge for her, right? So she felt very guilty and refused to stay. School. Do you think this is a bit pedantic? I persuaded her, but she didn't believe it, so I had to come to you to find out about this matter. If you were the one who broke the bridge in the middle, then—— she and I would I won't stay in school anymore; if you didn't tear down the bridge inside, you should try to persuade her—" Seeing Zhuo Zhuo's eyes brighten up again, Shi Yan was a little scared, because Yao Xiaoping said everything so recklessly and involved her, she didn't know what would happen, what would happen? It's not good that Zhuoyou would order the two of them to "get out", and it would be a shame. Zhuoyou's eyes were staring at Yao Xiaoping all the time, as if he wanted to see through her internal organs and six lungs.Probably relying on her thick chest, Yao Xiaoping was not afraid of Zhuo Zhuo's sparkle, and stared at him like a rogue, as if to say: "I'm lying, how? I'm not afraid that you will see through, and you won't see through use." Shi Yan didn't dare to watch the two of them engage in man-to-man tactics, so he didn't know who would win and who would lose in the result of their mutual staring. He only heard Zhuo Zhuo say, "Why should I tear down your bridge inside?" "Because Shi wants to stay in the department—" "What does her wanting to stay have to do with you?" "Why doesn't it matter? There is only such a quota in the department, keep me but not her, keep her but not me—" Zhuoyou smiled generously: "That's your idea. Since I promised to help her, I'm sure I can help her. It doesn't matter where you stay. If you think I can help her by pushing you away, Then you look down on me—" Shi Yan felt Zhuo Zhuo’s words were very weighty and convincing, and she admired him so much. By the way, he thought it was a bit like showing love from the side, “Since I promised to help her”, it sounded to her like “Since I love you.” Like her, she felt inexplicably excited. Yao Xiaoping suddenly asked: "Then do you know Zhao Shiguang?" "Zhao Shiguang? Which Zhao Shiguang?" "That Zhao Shiguang from the mathematics department—" "From the Department of Mathematics?" He thought about it for a while, and said, "I don't know him, what's the matter?" "It was he who tipped off to my husband that I had a—good——" Shi Yan really convinced Yao Xiaoping that he was able to talk about this with a man, and even use such a vulgar "good friend", even a "lover" is better than this, no wonder Zhuo Zhuo said that Yao Xiaoping is vulgar, it is a bit vulgar.She lowered her head and blushed, as if she had betrayed her husband, and she only hoped that they would stop talking about it.But she heard Zhuo Liang said calmly: "I don't see what you're telling me for—" Yao Xiaoping said sharply: "Because I suspect that you told him to inform my husband—" Zhuo Liang said coldly: "Your imagination is too rich---" I don't know whether Yao Xiaoping was stunned by Zhuo Liang's indifference, or was driven mad by the irony in his words, but she said regardless: "Let me tell you, you have to be conscientious, the matter between you and Shi Yan is still my fault." What was promoted in the middle, don't cross the river and tear down the bridge, and repay your kindness with revenge—" There was a buzzing in Shi Yan's head, and she almost fainted.How could Yao Xiaoping say that?If Zhuo Zhuo heard this and thought she had said something to Yao Xiaoping, how could she step down?Aren't you going to be laughed at by him to death? Zhuo Liang seemed worried that she would not faint, and asked instead: "What's the matter with Shi Yan?" These words didn't make Yao Xiaoping dumb, but they made Shi Yan's head explode. Didn't he deny that he was interested in her?She felt as if she was rejected by him when she wooed him, blood rushed to her head, her face was flushed red, and tears were about to come out.She wanted to stand up and make a statement, but she didn't know how to make a statement, because those two people were staring at me, and I was looking at you. The smell of gunpowder was very strong in the air, and she was afraid that the room would explode if she spoke. Yao Xiaoping threatened: "You know what's going on with Shi Yan, you know it in your heart, don't think that no one can see your thoughts, you are playing tricks with me, and you are too young. I will find out about this sooner or later, unless You go and kill Zhao Shiguang. But it's useless to kill him, it just proves that you have a ghost in your heart." Shi Yan could tell that Zhuoyou was very angry, as if his hands were shaking a little, but nothing could be seen from his face.She was terribly afraid, not because she was afraid that Zhuo Liang would kill that Zhao Shiguang, but because she was afraid that Zhuo Liang would jump up and beat Yao Xiaoping.In a real fight, Yao Xiaoping must suffer. She wanted to pull Yao Xiaoping away, but Yao Xiaoping had already stood up and said, "Shi, let's go, he must be playing tricks inside." Then she said to Zhuo Zhuo, "Don't be too smart about your little abacus, and don't plan on others. It’s too ruthless, otherwise——no good results. You just remember one thing: I can’t stay in school, and Shi Yan won’t stay in school—— Shi, don’t you think so?” Asking Shi Yan to answer such a serious question now is completely killing her. She had originally made up her mind that if Yao Xiaoping couldn't stay in school, she would definitely not stay in school, but now being asked by Yao Xiaoping in front of Zhuoyou, The nature of the matter changed, and it was no longer a question of whether to stay in school or not, but a question of whose side to stand on.She saw both Yao Zhuo and Yao Zhuo looking at her expectantly, she was too anxious to speak. Yao Xiaoping reminded: "Didn't you just say that before you came here? You said that if I can't stay in school, you will definitely not stay in school—" Shi Yan also looked at her when she saw Zhuo Liang, as if she was waiting for her to come out to confirm whether Yao Xiaoping was right or not.She didn't dare to look at him, and said weakly in a small mosquito-like voice: "I said so—" Then she raised her head slightly, glanced at him, and quickly looked away, saying, "I'm not talking to you." Did you say that? I said I didn't want to stay in--" After she said this, it was as if she had untied a time bomb tied to her waist. She felt at ease and became more courageous. Instead of avoiding anyone, he walked back and forth across the faces of the other two, looking at their expressions with interest.She saw a victorious smile on Yao Xiaoping's face, but it was hard to tell whether it was Joyo's expression, whether she was happy or unhappy, it could be said that she was expressionless. The two exchanged their gazes for a while, and Zhuo Zhuo said calmly, "Since you have discussed it long ago, why did you come to me? It was a waste of time for me to write the manuscript." As soon as Shi Yan and Yao Xiaoping came out of Zhuoyue's room, they heard a "bang" behind them, and the door closed. It must have been kicked with their feet, and it must have been kicked desperately, otherwise it would not have been so loud.Shi Yan was startled by the "bang", and immediately felt very uncomfortable in her heart, like being kicked in the heart or slapped. She has never had such a closed door. She usually tries her best to please others when she goes to other people's homes. When she is not in the mood or sure to please others, she would rather not go to other people's homes. , she is very welcome, every time she leaves, others keep and keep, give and give, and invite her to play again next time.Where is it like today?It's totally like being driven away. She was shaking from upstairs to downstairs, and when she got out of Zhuoyue's building, she was still shaking, and she could still hear the "bang". Yao Xiaoping, the troublemaker, seemed to be okay. It seemed that Zhuoyue's "bang" was all given to Shi Yan, and even regarded that "bang" as the sound of victory firecrackers.Shi Yan couldn't understand how a person could be so thick-skinned. Yao Xiaoping really had a thick skin. Not only did she not feel embarrassed, but she asked complacently, "Is my plan smart or not?" "What—a plot?" "A strategy that kills two birds with one stone." "Two birds with one stone?" Shi Yan couldn't tell who killed two birds with one stone, it felt more like an outstanding two birds with one stone, or should I say "one foot with two birds", just such a "bang" shut the two of them out of the door , also closed the door of victory and self-esteem, the two of them had nothing left, only the self-esteem that was pinched by that door was still burning her chest. Yao Xiaoping explained: "If I say this, he won't dare to destroy my stay in school, because I can't stay in school, and you won't stay in school, and he just fetches water from a bamboo basket—it's all in vain. Look at him. Got--just gotta give me a good old punch--" Shi Yan thought to herself: You took me out as a gunman in order to stay in school for yourself, how dare you say so! Yao Xiaoping seemed to have guessed her thoughts, and said comfortingly: "I am doing this for your own good. If I try this, can't I find out what he thinks about you? If he wants to get me away, he will ignore you." Doesn’t it mean that he doesn’t care about you if he stays in school or not? On the other hand, if he has to keep me in order to keep you, doesn’t that mean he cares about you? Can you see that I kill two birds with one stone? " This statement seems to have saved the situation a lot, and Shi Yan's anger has subsided a lot, as if Yao Xiaoping carried a vulture in his hand alone, feeling like returning home with a full reward.Looking back on the scene just now, it seems to be true.Zhuoyue has always been fairly restrained, no matter how aggressive Yao Xiaoping is, he didn't get angry.It was at the end, when I heard that she would not stay in school, that I lost my temper so much.From this point of view, Zhuo Liang's kick was not a destroyer, but an exhaust boat. He was throwing his temper at her for not staying in school. Doesn't that mean that he is reluctant to let her go? This seems to be a way to really test him. Usually he is so unpredictable, and he can’t figure out what he means. If you say you don’t like her, sometimes you seem to like it very much; if you say you like it, most of the time you will I don't seem to like it.This time it's all right, put him on the cusp of the storm to test it out, so that he has to show his true colors. She feels much better, but still has some unpleasant sequelae, just like when she fell out of a bag on her head when she was a child, her mother rubbed lard on her. It leaves a greasy forehead, which is a bit uncomfortable.She thought of a question: "Then—is it possible that he—originally wanted to keep the two of us, but he—is not capable enough—" "No matter how capable he is, he is enough to keep you—" "But I've said--you won't keep me and I won't--" "He will find a way, the worst result is to leave me in D city to teach middle school, that's better than going back to my county—" Shi Yan thought, as long as Yao Xiaoping didn't feel disgusted about staying in D City Jiaozhong School, then she could stay in school with peace of mind.She also didn't want to go back to "Dongdongguai", she just refused to stay in school because she was afraid of feeling guilty in the future. If Yao Xiaoping stayed in City D, even if she wasn't in the teacher's college, it would be considered a step down for her conscience.She said excitedly: "That's right, that's right, his mother is the head of the Education Committee of City D, wouldn't it be a piece of cake to put you in a middle school in City D?" Yao Xiaoping was also very excited: "Yes, now it depends on how deep his feelings for you are—" Shi Yan became nervous again, as if it wasn't Zhuoyou who was being tested, but she was being tested, she hastily shirked responsibility and said, "You can't say that, it's not just a question of how deep the relationship is - the main thing is - The network problem—” Yao Xiaoping said with a smile: "I know it's a problem with the relationship network, don't worry, he will definitely keep the two of us, but he must be unhappy that I coerce him into doing this, and he will definitely look for him in the future. This is a chance to get revenge on me. But I can’t control that much now, let’s stay here first. If he revenges on me in the future, I will also have a way to revenge him. Who told him to play tricks behind his back? " When she heard the word "trickster", she thought of a question: "What happened to that Zhao Shiguang?" "Zhao Shiguang is from our place. He teaches in the Department of Mathematics of the Teachers College. This time he went to tell my husband the secret. Hmph, this Zhuo man is so vicious. Maybe he didn't expect that I would still be alive to investigate him. He probably You thought my husband would beat me to death as soon as he heard it, you really underestimated my charm, as long as my husband sees me, can he still raise his fist?" "Did Zhao Shiguang say that it was -- who -- told him about you and Yan Jing?" "If Zhao Shiguang had said so, would I still be so polite today?" Shi Yan felt that Yao Xiaoping was extremely rude today, and she couldn't think of how Yao Xiaoping could be more rude, unless she killed Zhuozhuo on the spot.She heard that Zhao Shiguang didn't say that Zhuo Yue told him to inform him, and she felt much better. She breathed a sigh of relief and said, "I thought Zhao Shiguang said Zhuo Yue told him." "He didn't say that, but a fool can guess it. There are only a few people in the entire teacher's academy who know about me and rigorousness. Except for Zhuoyou, who else would tell the surname Zhao? Do I go to tell the truth myself? Him? Did you tell him?" Shi Yan quickly defended: "Don't blame me, I don't know Zhao Shiguang at all—" "I know you don't know him, and you don't know someone with the surname Zhao, so there is only Joyo. The one with the surname Zhao is too stupid, thinking that my husband would believe him and not me. How can there be such a stupid husband in the world? He is so stupid during the day, and he can't be stupid when he goes to bed at night. I acted like a baby to my husband, and my husband immediately confessed the informer--" "Your husband just heard what Zhao Shiguang said, and he believed it? Zhao Shiguang—does he have any evidence?" "What evidence can he have? But my husband is a fool, he believes what he hears. The problem is that Zhao Shiguang has an open mouth, and I have an open mouth. Is my mouth only used for eating? Zhuoyue is also an idiot, find someone The whistleblower didn’t know how to find someone smarter. Also, you see Zhuo Zhuo clearly knew Zhao Shiguang, but he denied it just now, doesn’t that mean he has a ghost in his heart?” Shi Yan was startled: "He knows Zhao Shiguang? Then he didn't admit it just now—there is really a ghost—but how do you know that Zhuoyou knows Zhao Shiguang?" "The two of them graduated from the same school, and they were assigned to the teacher's college together. Zhao Shiguang knew Zhuo Liang, so how could Zhuo Liang not know Zhao Shiguang?" This reason does not seem to be sufficient. Many people who graduated from a school do not know each other.Zhuoyue is relatively famous, and it is not unusual for Zhao Shiguang to know him, but Zhao Shiguang may not be so famous, so Zhuoyue probably does not know him.But she doesn't want to argue with Yao Xiaoping about this now, because she doesn't know whether Zhuoyou knows Zhao Shiguang or not.It can only be said that if Zhuoyue really knew Zhao Shiguang, it would be very suspicious for him to deny this now. In the afternoon Yao Xiaoping came back from talking in the department. Although her face was still ugly, it was not as ugly as in the morning.Shi Yan thought the news wasn't that bad, but when she asked about it, she found out it was worse. The department said that someone reported something about Yao Xiaoping and Strictness, and the department was going to launch a full-scale investigation, hoping that she could take the initiative and explain everything. Strive for a lighter treatment. Shi Yan asked worriedly: "What will they do with you? They won't let you stay?" "What's the deal now? Now I'm worried about something more serious—" "Expelled from the party?" "Huh, what's the point of expulsion from the party? I don't care about that party membership. If I get expelled, I can pay less party dues. I'm afraid they will send me to Xinjiang—" "Huh? Will you be sent to Xinjiang?" "Actually, I really want to go to Xinjiang. I can test my rigor—" "Strictly, is he willing to go to Xinjiang with you?" "He said he would--" Shi Yan also became excited, as if watching an authentic romance film: "That's good, why don't you just go to Xinjiang and test him—" "Don't be stupid, how many words can you believe in what a man says in that kind of excitement? You use going to Xinjiang to test him, and you are the only one who should be unlucky. If he can't go then he won't go, only you are left I have to go alone. Forget it, I'm not that stupid. In life, you still rely on yourself, don't expect anything from men, and you can avoid heartbreak a few times." Shi Yan felt that this sentence could be regarded as a motto, and was thinking about how to use it to guide her actions, when she heard Yao Xiaoping say, "Let's make a bet, shall we? Just bet on our staying in school. I bet that Zhuoyou will definitely find a way to let him I stayed because he couldn't bear to let you go--" Shi Yan was feeling a little cloudy again, but thinking of what Yao Xiaoping said just now that the man could not be trusted, she retorted: "Stop talking nonsense, why would he care about me?" Yao Xiaoping asked probingly: "What if he cares? What if he keeps me in order to keep you? Will you marry him?" She thought for a while, but couldn't come up with an answer, so she asked Yao Xiaoping, "Then do you think I should marry?" "That's up to you. I don't give advice on these matters. Otherwise, if you quarrel in the future, you will blame me. But seeing how vicious he is, I really can't bear to persuade him." You marry him. This kind of person is terrible. When he likes you, he can do many things for you, including bad things. I'll beat you to the core—" Shi Yan tried her best to imagine the scene of Zhuangzhuo "doing her best" to punish her, but she couldn't think of anything for a while, and remembered that she had told Zhuoyue that she didn't want to stay in school, how could he help them stay in school?She said: "I don't think he will help us anymore, because I have already told him that I don't want to stay in school—" "You said it, and he listened? He is a person who listens to you? Wrong! He is very stubborn, and he likes to make up his mind about everything. If you say what you want, he must still be there to deal with him. Yes. For a person like him, it’s useless for you to talk about your thoughts with him, you can only try to lead him by the nose like me—” During those few days, Shi Yan's mind was filled with the image of Yao Xiaoping leading Zhuoyou's nose. Yao Xiaoping was in front, facing forward, twisting Zhuoyou's nose back, and Zhuoyou, because he was much taller than Yao Xiaoping, had no choice but to condescend. He bowed his waist and followed Yao Xiaoping.Yao Xiaoping leads Zhuoyou by the nose everywhere. If Yao Xiaoping goes east, Zhuozhuo goes east; if Yao Xiaoping goes west, Zhuojia goes west.It was a very strange picture, a very unreasonable picture, but it lingered in her mind and couldn't get rid of it. I'm afraid it would stay there for the rest of her life. She felt that if Zhuo Zhuo really told Yao Xiaoping that he would do whatever it takes to keep her by his side, she might really fall in love with him.If a person doesn't love to a strange degree, it really can't be called love.For example, being rigorous, you can't explain his feelings for Yao Xiaoping at all, they don't match in every way, but just because of that, you know he really loves Yao Xiaoping.As for Yao Xiaoping, you can find many explanations, such as being strict and young and never married, her father can help Yao Xiaoping stay in school, and so on.With these explanations, Yao Xiaoping is not really rigorous. It's the same with Zhuoyou. If he follows the rules, abides by policies and laws, and lets her share what she deserves, then he won't show his special feelings for her.But he opened the back door for her, built relationships, invited people to dinner, and made people drink. It seemed that he had a little affection for her, and it could even be said that it was not a "little bit", but a "group", otherwise he would only study higher education. Intellectuals would certainly not engage in such vulgar activities. She found that she had fallen in love with Zhuo Liang who was angry and kicked the door, because he was angry because she refused to stay in school, and that was clearly an expression of love for her, the more angry he was, the more he loved her deeply.If he really managed to get them both to stay in school this time, it would mean that he really liked her, otherwise he wouldn't have endured the disgust in his heart and kept Yao Xiaoping in school. I don't know why, but she feels that she is a bit like that kind of "oil bottle" woman now, and Zhuo Liang is like a man who falls in love with a widow. To accept this widow, she has to accept even the "oil bottle" she drags. It's a bit of a test. I don't know since when, the contact between Shi Yan and Huang Hai has changed from writing letters to making phone calls. Of course, Huang Hai opened the connection, and Huang Hai also made calls, but why did the writing stop? It's a little unclear, maybe because I just made a phone call, and I have said everything I need to say, so I have nothing to write; it may also be because I just made a phone call, and if I write another letter, it seems too enthusiastic, So I won't write it. Huang Hai said that his long-distance calls were all made from the office of a friend of a friend, so he usually made calls at night after people got off work, probably when the office was empty and quiet.Maybe it's because it's a public phone number, so Huang Hai doesn't need to pay for it himself. It takes a long time for Huang Hai to make a call. Every time, Shi Yan finds an excuse to hang up when Shi Yan feels that the phone smells a bit stinky. At first she thought it was because she had a bad smell in her mouth, she smelt the phone, and felt embarrassed, afraid that the caller would scold her in her heart, so she always tried to wipe the phone clean, and hurriedly rinsed it when she returned to the dormitory. Mouth brush your teeth.Later, she simply took precautions, and estimated that when Huang Hai called, she would rinse her mouth and brush her teeth carefully, but she was very worried that a troublemaker would find her flaws, so she connected her mouthwashing and teeth brushing with answering the phone, thinking that there was something wrong with her. Later, she couldn't bear it any longer, and asked Yao Xiaoping quietly: "Yao, do you think I—do you have bad breath?" Yao Xiaoping leaned over and sniffed it seriously for a while, which made Shi Yan feel embarrassed.But Yao Xiaoping shook her head after inspecting it, and said, "No, why did you suddenly think of asking this? Do you have a date with Joyo?" "What nonsense are you talking about! I haven't seen him in a while—" "I thought you'd been seeing each other every day since—" "How could it be? He was so big--" "Isn't he angry because you refused to stay in school? I thought he would come to you in a hurry to persuade you to stay in school. I helped you pierce the window paper that time. Why haven't you ——connect with the relationship?” Shi Yan was flustered by the question, and began to wonder why Zhuoyou didn't hear from him.But she couldn't figure it out, or she figured out a reason, but she didn't want to believe it. Yao Xiaoping urged: "Okay, after my appraisal, there is no bad breath, let's go!" "Where are you going?" "Of course I'm going on a date. If you're so concerned about bad breath, you must have an appointment with some boy. Then go quickly. It doesn't matter whether he's on the table or on the bench. Let's go over first—" "What are you panicking about? The old porter downstairs hasn't called yet—" "Oh, waiting for the phone call? Ha, I have had this experience too, that is, talking for too long and the phone stinks. Don't worry, it's the same for everyone. If you spit too much, the phone will stink." Yao Xiaoping was curious. He asked anxiously, "Who are you waiting for? Is it your boyfriend from a prestigious school, Huang Hai?" Before Shi Yan could deny it, Yao Xiaoping said again: "It must be Huang Hai. He is chasing you, right? Are you hesitant? It's like a piece of chicken rib. There's nothing to eat, and you don't want to throw it away. But you have to think about it. If you are prepared to be with Excellence, then cut off Huang Hai as soon as possible, otherwise, let Excellence know that there will be good fruits for you." These words made Shi Yan very uncomfortable, as if Zhuo Liang was personally threatening her, she retorted: "Who is Zhuo Liang to me? Why doesn't he give me good fruit when he finds out? "If you stay in school or not, it's in his hands. If he knows that you are still disconnected from that Huang Hailian, he will definitely make you unable to stay in school—" Shi Yan became even more angry. She hated this kind of bully the most, and she also hated others treating her as the kind of person who could betray her love just to stay in school.She said angrily: "The matter of my retention in school is in his hands? Don't brag about it for him. I never asked him to do it for me. Even if it is indeed in his hands, I am not afraid of him." , the big deal is not to stay in school, what else can he do to me?" Yao Xiaoping clapped her hands: "Okay, have a backbone! But how much is a catty worth of a backbone? For a person like Zhuoyue, it's useless if you don't use him. As long as you know how to guard against him, it doesn't matter if you use him. We can give him some money first." An impression that makes him feel that as long as he does us a favor, you will love him. When both of us have a firm foothold in the teacher's academy, it's not too late to turn against him—" Shi Yan didn't answer, thinking that you said it lightly, anyway, it's not you who betrayed your love.But she knows it's useless to tell Yao Xiaoping about it. Yao Xiaoping is not afraid of betraying her love, let alone you accusing her of betraying her love.She feels that living to the point where Yao Xiaoping is, life will be much less painful, because she has a deep understanding that people live in pain because they care too much about what others say.You must practice your face until the walls are thick, so that people can live a carefree life. Yao Xiaoping warned: "But even if you are not afraid of annoying Zhuoyue, I don't think it is necessary for you to deal with your classmate surnamed Huang. It is a waste of time. He is far away from the emperor and can't help him with anything, so he will call. This kind of person who wants to tie you up is also very selfish. He also wants the horse to run well, and also wants the horse not to eat grass. what about?" "He also helped me think of a lot of ways in F City—" "Think of a way? I'm afraid I just close my eyes and think about it. Did he think of a way? He must have not thought of it, otherwise he would have sent you to City F long ago, and you still need to stay in school?" "F city is different from here, he is a foreigner, what can he do?" “那他怎么不干脆到这里来？如果真的是喜欢你的话，他可以要求分到师院来，还可以利用他名校生的身份为你谋点利益，比如向学校提出让你留校。对了，你可以就用这个来考验考验他，看他愿意不愿意来D 市，看你在他心目中究竟有多重－－” 这个正好戳在了石燕的痛处，她有点不耐烦地说：“我们的事，你不懂，我看我们还是别说了吧－－” 姚小萍赶快住了嘴，刚好门房老伯也在喊石燕接电话了，总算把这场谈话结束在翻脸之前。 但是石燕心里的那个包倒是又被吹胀了，鼓在那里很不舒服，在电话上讲分配的事又不方便，也不敢真的考验黄海，所以她只跟黄海讲了几句话就找个借口挂掉了。但她刚上楼，门房老伯就又在叫她接电话，她跑去一听，还是黄海，她有点不耐烦地问：“又是什么事？” “没什么事，就是不太放心你，觉得你好像－－心情不好一样－－” 她想，我心情不好就是你惹出来的，难道你连这都看不出？但她没这样说，只很淡然地说：“我没事，就是功课有点忙，如果你没别的事的话，那我挂电话了。” 黄海很知趣地挂了电话，但很快就写了封信来，写得很长，说了很多，都是些安慰的话，还讲了一些大道理，叫她别为分配的事担心，不管分在哪里，总是能考出去的，他留在A 大，就是为了便于帮她打听考研的信息，搞考研的资料，等等。 黄海的这个说法倒是令她心中的包消了不少，至少以后姚小萍问起，她也有个比较充足的理由可以交代。她也不知道自己这算怎么回事，好像承认了黄海是她男朋友一样，不然的话，她怎么会在乎黄海究竟喜欢不喜欢她呢？或者女孩就是这样，对生命中的每一个男孩，不管喜欢不喜欢的，也不管今后会不会走到一起的，都不放过，都要证明了别人是爱自己的才罢休。 她不知为什么想起姚小萍嘲弄那些爱占小便宜的人的说法：连挑大粪的从旁走过都要沾一指头。不过她觉得把黄海比作大粪很不恰当，把她自己比作爱占小便宜的人也不恰当，但不知为什么，这个比喻就老在那里转悠，赶都赶不走。 看了黄海的信，思前想后，也写了一封长信，把这段时间毕业分配的事都写了进去，包括姚小萍和卓越之间的战术较量，都描写了一番，寄了出去。 黄海会怎么评价卓越，她不看回信也能猜出，但是黄海会怎么评价姚小萍，她倒真的有点关心。她现在有点惶惑，觉得姚小萍对她的生活和想法有太大的影响，但她不知道要怎么对待她跟姚小萍之间的友谊，好像到了既摆不脱也发展不下去的地步。 她在写给父母的信里曾谈到过姚小萍的事，她跟父母之间比较随便，什么话都敢讲，她父母一般都能理解。但那次虽然还没到姚卓火拼的地步，她父母也看出问题来了，警告她别跟姚小萍这样的人来往，说结交这样的人没好处，就算姚小萍不在背后踩你几脚，也会让你沾染上市侩气，特别是这种脚踏两只船的做法，怎么讲都是没道理的，对人对己都不公平，对孩子就更不公平。 她从那之后就不敢跟父母讲这些了，因为她潜意识里知道她父母批评姚小萍的话，也可以用在她身上，她只不过是没把自己的内心活动全都告诉父母，如果告诉了，她父母肯定也会批评她，叫她别周旋于黄海和卓越之间。 但她从自身的经历出发，也比较能体会姚小萍的处境，谁愿意脚踏两只船呢？还不都是没办法吗？如果两只船明显的一只好一只破，那谁还用得着冒那个掉水里去的危险，踩在两只船上呢？肯定都是因为两只船都不够好，但又都不够破，所以才拿不定主意究竟该弃掉哪只船。 她经历了这次毕业分配，对姚小萍的那些“市侩”理论和做法，也没有十分抵触，因为她自己也在到处找路子，她父母也在到处找路子，她认识的人都在到处找路子，比姚小萍也好不到哪里去。也许所有的人都比姚小萍好不到哪里去，那些看上去不“市侩”的人，要么是因为生活比较顺利，不用这么“市侩”；要么就是骨子里其实很“市侩”，只不过掩藏得比较好而已。 黄海在回信里一如既往地批判卓越“绝非善类”，这差不多成了黄海的语言风格，每次谈到卓越，黄海必定要说“绝非善类”，不管有没有证据，也不管她讲了多少，讲了什么，只要提到卓越，黄海就是这句话奉送。如果石燕问他为什么这么说，他又拿不出什么证据来，只说是一种感觉。在这一点上，石燕觉得卓越反而还“善类”一些，因为卓越从来没说过黄海“绝非善类”。 有一次她把这个问题提了出来，差点把黄海问倒了。黄海想了半天才说：“他没说我'非善类'，那是因为他知道我是善类－－” 她有点好笑：“那至少说明他看问题比较客观吧－－” 一句话说得黄海只剩下感叹：“哎，你们女孩子啊! 真不知道怎么说你们才好，就只看见一张脸－－” 她不知道他这句话是不是也包括他以前的女朋友，很可能是包括的，不然就不用说“你们女孩子”了。她知道他为什么发这通感慨，因为他刚好就是没有“一张脸”。但因为自己没有“一张脸”，就否定那些有“一张脸”的人，似乎也太小心眼了吧？ 黄海对姚小萍的评价就太出乎她意料之外了，她原以为黄海肯定会狠狠批判姚小萍，叫她别跟姚来往的，但黄海对姚小萍却很宽宏大量，说姚小萍能靠自己的力量奋斗到这一步，很不简单，还说姚小萍其实也没做什么丧尽天良的事。 黄海说：别忘了，是姚小萍出面请卓越帮你忙的，而姚之所以跑去跟卓越面对面地干那么一场，也是在姚听说了你为了她决定不留校之后，也许她更多地是为你才那么做的，即便她只有一半是为你，也没有什么值得谴责的。她在不损人的前提下利一下自己，甚至是在利人的前提下利一下自己，没什么不好的。 至于姚小萍的脚踏两只船，黄海说：“感情的事，是很难说清的，人不到那一步，可能永远都不能理解别人的心情，我们只能希望自己永远不要遇到这样的情景。我们也不能因为姚小萍说了她不在乎严谨，我们就真的认为她不在乎严谨，也许是因为太在乎，所以连自己也得欺骗。不然的话，不在乎就不在乎，其实用不着挂在口里的。真到了不在乎的那一天，恐怕连提都不记得提了。” 这几句给石燕的感觉是有点含沙射影，说得好听些，就是放之四海而皆准，因为这几句好像也适用于她的情况，说不定也适用于黄海的情况。 对于她留校的事，黄海是这样说的：现在你留校不留校，已经不再是你一个人的问题了，因为姚小萍的留校问题也跟你的夹缠在一起了，这并不是姚小萍造成的，而是卓越造成的。他为了你能留在系里，就设法搞黄姚小萍留校的事，这是很卑鄙龌鹾的。姚小萍奋起反抗，一是她性格使然，面对这种情况，必定会背水一战，另外也可能是怕影响了你留校的事，所以你现在做决定时已经不能不考虑姚小萍的利益了。 最后黄海表了个态，说不管石燕分在哪里，他都希望她不要放弃考研，因为这是为她的高考平反昭雪的唯一途径，只有考上研究生了，才能彻底治愈她因高考不顺而受的内伤。不然的话，无论她今后的物质生活多么优越，也无论她的丈夫怎么才华出众，她都不会真正感到幸福。 这几句话真的把石燕震惊了，别看黄海平时不哼不哈，在她面前唯唯诺诺，他还真的很了解她呢。她觉得这几句话，卓越肯定说不出来，因为他认识她的时候，她就在师院读书，他并不了解她的过去，更不知道高考失利对她造成的伤害，很可能觉得她就是读师院的料，只有黄海这个跟她一起读过书的人才真正知道她的才华和理想。 后来她跟姚小萍讲起这事，满以为姚小萍这回要转变对黄海的态度，说他两句好话的，哪知姚小萍耳朵根子一点也不软，得了黄海的表扬也不改变立场：“黄海能在高考的问题上理解你，我一点也不怀疑，而且这种理解也不难，我没跟你一起读高中，我也能理解你。但是能理解－－又怎么样呢？只能拿来做个知己，做丈夫还是－－不合格。他的脸不会因为他理解你就变得美妙起来－－” “但是理解不是－－很重要吗？” “我没说理解不重要，问题是他能在一件事上理解你，也不等于他就能在任何方面都理解你。一旦涉及到自己，人就糊涂了，理解力就消失了。所以我以前说过的那些一点都没变：他因为脸部的缺陷会在这方面特别敏感自尊，你在外面要听那么多风言风语，回到家也别想在他面前可以发泄。除非是你能完全忽视他的脸，不然的话，我劝你别嫁他。他迟早会因为你不喜欢他的那张脸而生气的，但是他那张脸－－你叫人如何才能喜欢得起来呢？”