Chapter 7 Amy: I will never change until death (3)-2

Shi Yan immediately felt a guilty conscience, as if she was the main culprit, not an accomplice, she said worriedly: "If you tell me not to tell, I definitely won't tell, but you can't hide it from him forever, you always tell him That day." "Tell him when he's absolutely in love with me—" "Then you are not afraid that he will be angry when he finds out and say you are dishonest?" "Tell him now, don't you scare him away?" Shi Yan said old-fashionedly: "Then you——doesn't that mean you're lying to him?" "How do you call it cheating? If I like him sincerely, and he likes me sincerely, it's not cheating. It's just a little bit of art, so as not to kill a possible love in the bud. Forget it, You don’t even understand, you’re still young, you have to encounter some obstacles in society to learn a little art of life—”

The two of them had already entered the building before they finished discussing the "art of living". They walked up to the third floor a little cautiously, attracting the eyes of many bachelors along the way.Although Shi Yan didn't turn her head to look at those people, she had an intuition that most of their eyes were on Yao Xiaoping.She looked at Yao Xiaoping carefully, and found that Yao Xiaoping was a little different today. Her hair was combed into a ponytail, she was wearing a short sleeve that pinched the waist, and a short pleated skirt underneath. High-heeled shoes, then the whole is a tennis girl.This pair of high-heeled shoes is also good. Although she doesn't look like a tennis girl, she still looks graceful, like a girl of eighteen or nineteen years old.

She suddenly regretted listening to Yao Xiaoping's words just now, and didn't dress up properly. Although she didn't want to find a partner among these bachelors, she still didn't want to be behind Yao Xiaoping in their hearts. Bar. A little inferior, she followed Yao Xiaoping to the strict door, and saw that the door was open, and a group of young men were playing cards inside, some of them were only wearing undershirts and shorts. ,we are coming--" "Teacher Yan" rushed out to greet them, yelled and asked those disheveled guys to go back and put on "clothes for meeting guests", and entertained them with tea and water. Standing timidly outside the door, he ran out again and asked the two of them to come in. His attitude was so enthusiastic that he almost stretched out his hand to pull them in.

Yao Xiaoping said politely: "You already have so many people, we——we won't participate today—" The boys objected together: "How can that be done? We came to Lao Yan today because we heard that you were coming. How can you just leave? Then don't we take the lead? Come, come, let's give up the seat, you guys superior--" The two girls finally entered the room shyly, and sat down in the two seats vacated by others.As soon as Shi Yan sat down, she realized that the chair was still warm. She couldn't help but get goosebumps and almost jumped up from it, but out of politeness, she finally resisted jumping.After she sat down, she realized that there was no excellence among the group of people, and none of them caught her eye. She immediately lost interest in playing cards and just wanted to find an excuse to leave.

The "opponent" with her was a short black-skinned man, and the "opponent" with Yao Xiaoping was not very good, but he was much better than her "short black".She was a little annoyed, and felt that their pairing reflected their evaluation and opinion of them, just like a married couple, a good-looking man was matched with a good-looking woman, and an ugly man was matched with an ugly man. If she is a little girl, it means that in their minds, she is not as good-looking as Yao Xiaoping. She never considered these issues, and even if she did, she never regarded Yao Xiaoping as a competitor, because Yao Xiaoping was already married, so she was not at their level at all.But now she suddenly discovered that Yao Xiaoping actually looks good. Although she is married and has a child, she still looks like a little girl, and her face does not show her age. No wonder she immediately attracted the attention of these bachelors.

She played cards patiently for a while, not knowing what she was playing at all, and her "opponent" didn't mean to please her. Whenever she made a mistake, the opponent called "Old Liao" would blame her and make trouble. It made her very upset, and felt that he was annoying from his appearance to his personality to his name.Looking at Yao Xiaoping again, not only is the "opponent" better than her, but also Yan Jing stands behind him as a military adviser. Yao Xiaoping shows the cards in his hand to Yan Jing from time to time, and asks him for doctrine in a naive way.

She suddenly realized that she was acting as a foil. Yao Xiaoping came to play poker today, not because of her application for graduate school, but because of Yao Xiaoping's own stay in school.Yao Xiaoping called her because it was her first visit and it was difficult to act alone, so she was asked to act as a foil.But in order to coax her to come, Yao Xiaoping spoke vaguely, so as to give her a false impression that they came to play cards today because of her postgraduate entrance examination. The more Shi Yan thought about it, the more annoying she became, and the more she looked at it, the more annoying she wanted to tell Yan Jing immediately: Yao Xiaoping is married! But she knew it was dark, stupid, and boring, because she herself didn't like rigor, and she didn't like it. Why would anyone want to expose Yao Xiaoping's lies?Just to defeat Yao Xiaoping?That was useless, because even if those people knew that Yao Xiaoping was married, they wouldn't think she was prettier than Yao Xiaoping just because of this.Thinking about it this way, she was a little thankful that Zhuo Liang was not there. If she had been there, she might have been attracted by Yao Xiaoping.

Yao Xiaoping seemed to know what she was thinking. After playing cards for a while, she casually asked, "Why didn't Mr. Zhuo come to play cards?" Someone asked, "That Teacher Zhuo?" Someone replied: "It's the one who made an exception to mention the lecturer not long ago—" Someone said: "What an exception? He graduated from graduate school, shouldn't he have been mentioned?" Another said: "Who said that? It takes three years to be promoted as a lecturer after graduating from a master's degree—" Then several people sighed: "I don't know how long it will take to live in the family building—"

Someone punched that person: "Do you think you can live in a family building as soon as you mention the lecturer? Family building, family building, what kind of family building do you live in without a family?" Although these people didn't explain why, but Shi Yan summed up the whole situation and came to an important conclusion: Zhuoyue was appointed as a lecturer and had a "family", so he lived in the "family building".Now she couldn't sit still anymore, as soon as she finished playing the cards in her hand, she suggested: "Yao, let's go back—"

"Now? This is just the beginning—" "I still have a lot of homework to do, I have to go back—" Yao Xiaoping hesitated and said, "Then—let's go back—" Several boys made dissatisfied voices, as if they were blaming her for ruining their big pot of soup with a piece of mouse droppings.She ignored them and insisted: "Come on, if you still want to fight, then I'll go first—" After that, she stood up. Yao Xiaoping also stood up, and said reluctantly, "Then I won't fight anymore." Yan Yan said: "I'll see you off, the road outside is not easy."

The group of people made various noises, some were tacit, some were full of complaints, and two of them hurriedly squeezed into the seats vacated by the two of them, as if they couldn't wait for a long time, and the one sitting in her seat even jumped up , said loudly: "Wow, the seat is so hot!" A group of people in the room all laughed and looked at her maliciously, which made her almost have a fit, and vowed in her heart that she would never come here to play cards again. Yan Jing accompanied the two of them out of the building, sent them back to the dormitory, and chatted with them from time to time, but Yao Xiaoping kept talking about her county, and when it came to the county, Shi Yan couldn't talk to her. So it was actually the other two who were talking and she was just walking along.She had never been a supporting person before, so she felt very uncomfortable, and angrily distanced herself from the other two, walking ahead quickly. She heard Yao Xiaoping calling her from behind: "Hey, Shi, what are you doing so fast? Be careful not to twist your foot—" She replied: "It's okay, you guys talk slowly, I have something to do when I go back--" As she spoke, she walked faster and faster, but she accidentally stepped on a small hole and felt the heel of her right shoe. Crooked, her right foot was twisted into a figure 7, and her ankle hit the ground. The pain caused her to fall to the ground crookedly when she yelled "Oh my god". The two behind heard the sound and rushed over, Yao Xiaoping said: "Look, look, I told you to walk slowly, why are you running so fast like a ghost chasing you, what should you do now? Can you still go?" Shi Yan burst into tears from the pain, gritted her teeth and said, "It hurts to death——" Yan Jing also asked like a reminder, "Can you go? Can you go?" She said angrily, "If I can go, will I go?" The two looked at each other in blank dismay: "Then what should I do?" Yao Xiaoping said, "Why don't you carry her on your back?" Yan Jing looked around: "Where are you going? To the infirmary? That's still far away—" "Go back to our dormitory first. There are people in the dormitory who have bicycles, so you can borrow them—" Yao Xiaoping complained after finishing speaking, "Look, look, if you listen to me and play more cards, it won't work out. So, what now?" Shi Yan said angrily: "You don't need to worry about it, you go first—" The two were a little guilty and dared not speak.Shi Yan sat on the ground, hugging her right foot, and wanted to shake it to see if it would be better, but when she touched it, it hurt so badly that she didn't dare to shake it, fearing that it might break a bone, she would shake it for a while. Shake the bones out of place. Finally, he said rigorously: "Just wait here for a while, I ran to find Zhuoyue and told him to take Shi Yan to the infirmary on a motorcycle—" Yao Xiaoping immediately agreed: "Go, go, it's more convenient to have a motorcycle, maybe the school infirmary can't cure it, and I have to go to the hospital—" Yan Jing set off to find Zhuo Liang, and said, "I'm afraid he's not at home—" Yao Xiaoping said: "If you're not at home, just ride your bicycle. It's better to have a car than no car." Said rigorously: "I know." and ran away in a hurry. After Yan Jing left, Shi Yan and Yao Xiaoping waited for him in the dark.Shi Yan had already sat on the ground with her buttocks, so she didn't pay attention to it. She sat on the ground crookedly and wrapped her legs with her skirt to avoid mosquito bites. But Yao Xiaoping was reluctant to sit down on the ground, fearing that her skirt would get dirty, or it might be because her skirt was too short to cover her legs when she sat on the floor, so she walked back and forth beside Shi Yan, saying, "This Zhuoyou is quite rich." , even bought a motorcycle, I don’t know where he got so much money? He is just a lecturer, and he hasn’t worked for two years—” "Maybe his family is rich?" "His mother is the director of the Municipal Education Commission, so she shouldn't have much money, right?" "How do you know that his mother is the director of the Municipal Education Commission?" "Listen to what you said strictly—" Yao Xiaoping said half-jokingly, "Hey, let me tell you, you might as well dump your boyfriend from a prestigious school and fall in love with Zhuoyou—maybe it will be good for you to take the graduate exam— -" Shi Yan said angrily: "Don't talk nonsense, I don't think I would sell myself to the point of being a graduate student—" "How did you sell yourself? Isn't Excellence worthy of you?" "I didn't say he wasn't worthy—" "That is, not as good as your boyfriend from a prestigious school? Tell me, what does your boyfriend from a prestigious school look like? Is he more handsome than Zhuo Zhuo?" Shi Yan faltered and said nothing, Yao Xiaoping guessed, "Is it that Huang Hai? I guessed wildly, it just so happens that he is from a prestigious school—" Shi Yan reluctantly said, "No—" "It's fine if it's not—" Yao Xiaoping seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Shi Yan asked curiously: "Why did you say 'it's fine'?" "Do you even need to ask? Huang Hai is so ugly—" "Didn't you say -- you can't judge a person by their appearance? How can you look for a boyfriend based on appearance?" "But you can't ignore your appearance. Like Huang Hai—he grows up like that, and his psychology is generally a little—abnormal, distorted, and too inferior. When people are too inferior, they go to the opposite side and become arrogant. , anyway, it is not normal. If you follow him, you will live a very tiring life. Others will speak ill of him in your ears every day, and you have to deal with it every day. When you get home, you have to explain, promise, express Loyalty, it's annoying. No amount of affection can stand up to everyone's disapproval—unless you hide somewhere where no one is around—" "Why should a person care what others say?" "How can people ignore what others say? Haven't you heard of it? People are social people. You live in society and always hope that society will recognize you. A person's life is a process of seeking to be recognized. It only depends on who is in that circle. in search of--" Shi Yan felt that what Yao Xiaoping said was reasonable, and she herself always thought so, but sometimes she was reluctant to admit that she cared so much about what others thought, as if once she admitted it, she would become a mindless person.She got a little bored talking about Huang Hai, and only wanted to hear Yao Xiaoping talk about Excellence, but she was too embarrassed to ask, so she had to bring up the topic: "Why haven't they come here? There are too many mosquitoes here, killing people --" "The family building is far away, and it is not in the same direction as the youth teaching staff building. If he is strict and smart, he will go back to their building to get his bicycle first, and then ride to find Excellence, but I guess his brain is not so good, he will definitely directly Run to find Excellence, and if you can’t find Excellence, go back to his own building to get a bicycle. He’s a sportsman, he’s just a little developed, but simple-minded—” Shi Yan said curiously: "You look down on him so much and you like him, isn't that contradictory?" "Where am I contradicting myself? I'm just saying he's not very bright, but that doesn't mean I don't like him—" "But you—can see his problems so calmly, doesn't it mean that you haven't—fall in love with him?" Yao Xiaoping laughed: "You mean to say that only when love is confused or blind is love?" Shi Yan murmured: "Then—there is always a——stage of obsession, right? Could it be that love can be so sober from the very beginning? Or you have already loved, so you don't care—" "Where have I ever loved? I told you, I have lived in that little place all my life, and there is no one worthy of my love." "Then why are you so sober?" "Isn't it good to be sober? The person you choose when you are sober can spend a lifetime together. Otherwise, once the love is over, conflicts will start—" Shi Yan still thinks that love should have a stage of being in love, otherwise, it will be as if you have never loved.But she didn't want to argue with Yao Xiaoping, because she knew she couldn't argue with Yao Xiaoping. Yao Xiaoping said: "I don't know that Zhuo Liang is reluctant to lend his motorcycle to take you to the hospital—" When Shi Yan heard this, she felt a little nervous, fearing that she would run back empty-handed and say that Zhuoyou refused to borrow the motorcycle, and she would be too embarrassing in Yao Xiaoping's eyes.She even regretted that she shouldn't have asked Yan Jing to go to Joyo, so she could have asked Yan Jing to go back and get his own bicycle, but now she didn't even know that Yan Jing was willing to take her to the hospital by bicycle.Judging from the situation just now, the strictness was only helping Yao Xiaoping for her sake. Today's experience hit Shi Yan hard, she basically had no relationship with boys before, so she had no chance to test her status in the hearts of boys.But she often sees other girls who have boys come to show their attention, help fetch water, ask out to go out to the street, ask their relatives, and give her the feeling that boys should be courteous to girls as a matter of course.Although she doesn't have many boys to be courteous to her, she thinks it's because she didn't give them a chance. She was only thinking about taking the postgraduate entrance examination, and never thought of establishing any relationship with the boys in the class. If she gave them a chance, they should have the original intention Courtesy, because she should be no worse than those girls in the class. In her life, the only boy she had a little contact with was Huang Hai, and Huang Hai was quite attentive, so she thought that was the way boys were, and they were very attentive to girls. How did she know that boys were courteous to girls with a purpose, and she Obviously not the target of others. She began to wag her right foot, trying to get her foot in order and walk back by herself.She tried to shake it, and found that it was not as painful as before, but the ankle was a little swollen, but it didn't look like a fracture.She continued to sway back and forth, then put her feet on the ground again, slowly and hard, and felt that it was no problem to step on the ground.She stood up with support, and she succeeded.Just as she was about to tell Yao Xiaoping, she heard the sound of a motorbike and knew that it was Joyo and the others.She hesitated for a moment, and didn't tell Yao Xiaoping that she could walk on her right foot. The sound of the motorcycle was getting closer and closer, and Shi Yan's heart was pounding. Half of it was because of joy and excitement, because Zhuo Liang came as soon as he yelled; You will feel that she deliberately lied to him.She didn't know how to explain to everyone that she couldn't walk when she just sprained her foot, but now she can walk again.Maybe no matter how she explained it, no one would believe it. She decided not to go to the infirmary today, lest the doctor find out that her feet are fine.But it is probably more suspicious not to go to the infirmary, so let Zhuozhuo drive her to the infirmary, and then no matter whether the doctor finds out that there is any problem, she insists that it hurts. She was playing tricks in her mind, and the motorcycle had already arrived.As soon as he stopped, Yan Jing got off the back seat, leaving only Joyoth standing there with his legs crossed.She glanced at him and found that he was only wearing a white vest and a pair of shorts underneath. The color was very light, and if you didn't pay attention, it would look like you were not wearing any clothes.She was embarrassed to keep looking at him, and quickly said: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry to trouble you, Mr. Zhuo—" Joyo simply said: "Come on, I'll take you to the infirmary—" "You don't need to go to the infirmary—you can just send me back to the dormitory—" Yao Xiaoping said, "How can I do that? What if I break a bone?" "Shouldn't be broken—" Yan Jing also persuaded: "Anyway, Lao Zhuo has already ridden his motorcycle, why not go to the infirmary to have a look? Take a look and rest assured—" Shi Yan still wanted to explain, but Zhuo Zhuo said: "If you don't go, don't go, I will take you back to the dormitory—come up—" The other two also urged: "Go up, go up, it's too late, the infirmary is closed—" Shi Yan walked behind the motorcycle amidst the urging of everyone, trying her best to walk as hard as possible, lest they think she did this trick on purpose so as to call Zhuo Liang here.Excellence stood there the whole time, and when she sat up, she said, "Grab my vest, I forgot to wear a shirt just now, so you can grab it—" She didn't know what he meant by that. He told her to grab his vest because he was afraid that she would be embarrassed, or he didn't want her to hug his waist, so he asked her to grab his vest.She timidly grabbed the corner of his vest with one hand and under his seat with the other. Zhuo Zhuo asked: "Sit down? Then I'll start." He started the motorcycle very slowly, which can almost be called "slowly".Shi Yan felt that if she drove so slowly, she could catch under his seat without falling off, so she let go of his vest. The other two exhorted loudly: "Hold on tight, don't fall—" Shi Yan had never ridden a motorcycle before, this was the first time, and she was a little nervous.But after sitting for a while, I felt that it was no different from riding a bicycle, probably because Joyo drove very slowly.She wondered if he was driving fast on purpose so that she would have to catch his man?She has heard several similar stories, all of which were told to her by her high school classmates. They all have boyfriends, and several of them have done this kind of thing, deliberately driving the car very fast, Deliberately telling scary stories, etc., anyway, it's all to scare the girlfriend into running into my arms. Those girlfriends of hers seemed to be highly skilled, and they could see the boyfriend's tricks at a glance, but they all pretended not to know, and slipped into his boyfriend's arms. She thought a little nervously, if Zhuoyou deliberately drives the car faster later, should she hug his waist?How tight?She imagined the scene of hugging his waist, she was a little excited, but strange.She felt a little strange, as if her mind was too calm, as if what was happening in front of her was not real, but her imagination. She was just thinking wildly, and Zhuo Liang kept driving without saying a word.When he arrived at her bedroom, he stopped the car and asked, "Can you go upstairs by yourself?" "can." "Then I won't send you up, it's too casual and unsightly—" "No need to send it, thank you." He was still standing on the motorcycle, and when she got out of the car, he said "Then I'm going", and drove the motorcycle away. She was so sad, why did she meet this kind of person today?It seems like no one takes her seriously, playing cards is to be a foil to others, and no one takes her seriously when they go, Yan Yan sent them back for the sake of Yao Xiaoping, Zhuo Zhuo sent her for the sake of rigor, In the eyes of these people, she is not an independent existence at all, but a subsidiary existence of others. She limped upstairs, took a casual shower, and then lay down on the bed, but for some reason, she couldn't fall asleep. Today's events kept turning in her mind, and every detail made her unhappy. Why are boys like this?It's too practical, once you see that you don't have any hope of being a boyfriend and girlfriend, you won't even be courteous to you. She thought bitterly, you are too--seeking only profit, right?Then she thought that "seeking only profit" seemed inappropriate to use here, so she used a sentence that Yao Xiaoping often said: "You think rake is delicious and you don't need to cook it?" How can a girl fall in love with you if you don't show courteousness first?How could you agree to be your girlfriend?You are waiting there for the girl to be your girlfriend first, and the girl is waiting for you to be courteous first, so the confrontation between the two armies may never come to fruition. Yao Xiaoping never came back, she must be with Yan Jing, Shi Yan felt a little sour, why is Yao Xiaoping so popular with boys?Now that he's married and has a child, he can make the silly boy Yan Jing fall in love at first sight, and he can also make the bachelors in the Young Teacher's Building fix their eyes on him, as if Zhuo Liang didn't show interest in Yao Xiaoping. Shi Yan really wanted to ask Yao Xiaoping about Zhuoliang, but Yao Xiaoping never came back. She wondered curiously: I don't know what Zhuoyou is doing now?He ran away in such a hurry, did he want to go to his girlfriend?He must be married, otherwise why would he live in the family building? Lying there, she suddenly missed Huang Hai very much, and wanted to know how he was doing now. All the little things they had together came to her mind, and now she realized how precious Huang Hai's hospitality was, because boys were not as she imagined As she had said, they would love to be courteous if she allowed them to. That night, Shi Yan had a strange dream. She dreamed of the Yellow Sea and was running in the mine. Behind him was a group of miners chasing him. Some held shovels in their hands, while others held stones in their hands. Kill him! Kill him!". She was afraid and anxious, and wanted to shout to the miners: "You have misunderstood! He is not a bad person, he wants to help you!" But she couldn't make a sound, it seemed that there was a problem with her throat, and it seemed that she was afraid that the miners would come and beat her if they heard it.She was still narrow-minded in her dream, thinking that if Huang Hai blamed her for not helping at that time, she would say that she wanted to shout, but her voice was broken and she couldn't make a sound. Those miners seemed to have their eyes red, and they quickly chased her. Although they didn't hit her with their shovels, they hit her, and many people pressed on her. She was frightened to death. rape her.The lie she wanted to tell just now came true. She really couldn't speak out, and she was still out of breath. She just wanted to push those people away, but she couldn't push them no matter how hard she tried. Suddenly she saw several teachers from the Teachers College standing nearby talking, and Zhuo Liang was also inside. She yelled at them: "Help me quickly! Why are you refusing to save me?" But those few people didn't seem to hear it, or maybe they really didn't hear it, and they were still talking there.She also saw Huang Hai inside, as if arguing with Zhuoyue, she cried and shouted to them: "Help me, push those people away from me, they are going to crush me to death!" But neither of them paid any attention to her, and they were still arguing there. It seemed that they would never come to rescue her without arguing whether to win or lose.Desperate, lonely and frightened, she burst into tears. When she woke up, there were still tears on her face, and she was still sobbing.She didn't know if she really screamed out in her dream just now, but she heard everyone sound asleep, so she must have not screamed out just now. Although she knew it was just a dream, the feeling of loneliness and helplessness in the dream was very real. She lay there alone and cried for a while, and said in her heart: So my world is so lonely, no one cares about me, no one loves me I, no one cares about me, I used to always think about going to graduate school and escaping from this place, so I never had time to realize that I was alone.Now it seems that there is no way to take the postgraduate entrance examination, so my spiritual support has collapsed, and I find that my life is actually so pale and lonely. Maybe the silence at night makes people feel particularly lonely. During the day, people come and go, noisy and noisy. If you don't have time to be alone, you have no chance to feel lonely.But people can’t always spend the day, they have to spend the night. Fortunately, she usually sleeps better at night and doesn’t dream much, so she rarely feels her own loneliness. But now it’s different. For some reason, she suddenly realized that Thinking of her own loneliness, she thought that in this world, maybe her own parents still cared about her, and other people didn't seem to take her seriously. If the scene in the dream really happened, I'm afraid no one really Will be willing to help. She couldn't fall asleep anymore, chewing on her loneliness in the dark night to her heart's content.She thought of Huang Hai, Zhuo Zhuo, and when they didn't come to rescue her in her dream, her tears flowed down again, thinking that if one of them came to talk to me first tomorrow, I would love him and find him as a man Friends, because I don't want to be alone anymore, don't boys have to wait until a girl becomes his girlfriend before caring about her?Then I will be the boy's girlfriend, as long as he cares about me, loves me, and doesn't let me be alone. The next day, she ran into Yao Xiaoping when she was going to wash in the water room. She was brushing her teeth with disheveled hair, and her mouth was full of white foam. She was completely different from the small, exquisite, innocent and elegant Yao Xiaoping last night. Let the boys from yesterday see what you are like now, and see if they still like you.But she immediately thought that she also had disheveled hair, and she might be uglier than Yao Xiaoping, so she shot her petty heart in her heart.She asked, "Yesterday—when did you come back?" Yao Xiaoping raised her head, blinked at her fiercely, and pointed behind her quietly. She turned her head and saw that a girl from the next bedroom had come in, so she didn't ask any questions.After the two of them washed up and went to have breakfast together, Yao Xiaoping said, "Don't mention me and Jing Jing in front of others in the future. Those long tongues haven't passed on the fact that I was married to Jing Jing? Then why not?" What the hell? I haven't written my horoscope yet. If it spreads, it will definitely fail--" Shi Yan apologized and said, "I didn't see anyone behind me just now—" Yao Xiaoping didn't complain anymore, and replied in a low voice: "I came back very late yesterday, and the gates were closed. I came in through the window of the water room on the first floor. There are too many strict words, endless—" Shi Yan is even envious of "talking too much" now, which is better than Zhuo Zhuo who doesn't even bother to talk to her.She thought in her heart, and said it out of her mouth: "It's better than him having nothing to say when he is with you, isn't it?" Yao Xiaoping smiled disapprovingly, and asked, "Yesterday—how long did you stay?" "Who? Who am I with?" "Of course it's you and Zhuo Zhuoluo—how about it? I have eyes, right? I'll hand you over to him right away, instead of being a light bulb in the middle—" Shi Yan snorted, and said: "There is no such thing as a light bulb or a light bulb. I have nothing to do with Zhuoyue—" "Still thinking about your boyfriend from a famous school? Fool, let's put aside such a good condition and excellence, I want yours—" Yao Xiaoping stopped talking, I don't know if the second half of the sentence means "such an ugly boyfriend" or "a boyfriend from a famous school far away in the sky". yellow sea.But Shi Yan is no longer as eager to get rid of it as before. It is better to have Huang Hai than nothing. This is the truth she just realized.She deliberately asked detachedly: "You talk about excellence so well, why don't you want him to be rigorous?" "It's not that I don't want him, it's that I can't get him. I don't do those useless efforts. If I'm not married and have no children, I'd also like to find someone like Zhuoyue. How could it be Rigorous? I'm not as good-looking as others , the talent is not as good as others, and the title is not as good as others—” "Who is inferior to whom?" "Of course rigor is not as good as excellence. Is excellence not as good as rigor?" Shi Yan felt that Yao Xiaoping's brain was too clear-headed, and couldn't help but ask: "You feel that rigor is not as good as excellence in everything, so why - why don't you just go to Excellence? You haven't tried it yet, how do you know you can't get him?" "Do you still need to try this kind of thing? I can tell who is interested in me and who is not interested in me at a glance." Shi Yan almost asked Yao Xiaoping to help her find out if Excellence was interested in her, but Yao Xiaoping didn't give her a chance to ask questions, and kept on talking: "Who told me to get married in a hurry? But this kind of thing, How can I say it clearly? If I didn’t get married at that time, I wouldn’t be able to work in the county; if I didn’t keep working, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to go to college; People are strong but their fate is not enough. They only hit 80 meters, and they are dissatisfied when they travel all over the world. At that time, I couldn’t get together with Excellence even if I was married or not. A person must learn to accept his fate. If he doesn’t accept his fate, his heart will inevitably be high , life is as thin as paper, I suffer myself—” Shi Yan didn't know how many meters her hit was, and she didn't know how much thicker her life was than paper.She felt that Yao Xiaoping got married last time for reasons other than love, and this time she was with Yan Jing for reasons other than love.To be honest, she looked down on such a person a little in her heart, but now she is in a state of extreme inferiority, because she doesn't even have a boyfriend "for reasons other than love".She tentatively asked: "Then Zhuo Zhuo - is he married?" "No, if he is already married, how can I help you all in the middle?" "You -- have you fulfilled us?" "Of course, otherwise I wouldn't have asked him myself?" Shi Yan didn't like Yao Xiaoping's sure-fire tone, as if Yao Xiaoping picked the rest and gave it to her.She snorted through her nose and didn't answer. After a while, she said, "Why does he live in the family building when he's not married?" "I listened strictly, so it is like this. Zhuoyue used to have a girlfriend who worked in some department of the municipal party committee, and he came here because of her. At that time, the school just allocated houses, and they got a marriage certificate. You can get a house. Then they had a falling out before the wedding, so they broke up—” "Are they divorced?" "Anyway, there is no wedding, so what is inseparable? Why don't you just change the red paper into yellow paper? But I don't know if he changed the red paper into yellow paper, but I guess they did. We met them The day I was moving furniture from the woman's side—" "But—why don't you move into his school house? I'm afraid the girls will find out—whether you want him?" "This is the mind of little girls like you again. People are afraid of seeing things and thinking about others. Why are they afraid that girls will not want him? He is so talented and beautiful, and has furniture, and girls don't want him? I'm afraid he is blind." Girl? Don't you love him because he has furniture?" Shi Yan can't answer this question, because she has absolutely no experience in this area, but Zhuo Zhuo returned to this dilapidated place in D City for his girlfriend, and hid the furniture elsewhere, so as not to "look at things and think about others", which has already broken her heart Now, she felt that she was not interested in Excellence, so she suggested: "Then why do you still feel that you are not worthy of him? Isn't he also married? You and each other—" "You can't say that. When he got married, it was just a marriage certificate. There was nothing practical. When I got married, I not only had a wedding, but also had a husband. I also had a child. That's very different. Those with children A divorced woman is hard to marry—” "The strictness of him—" "That depends on how far I can fascinate him—" Yao Xiaoping smiled lightly, "I think it's easy to fascinate a rigorous man, you didn't see his anxious look last night, I really can't wait— " Yao Xiaoping didn't say what it was like to "wish for it", but Shi Yan also guessed a little bit sensitively. If it was in the past, it must be something she despised. At that time, if a boy liked her for physical reasons,她是很瞧不起的。但是最近她的思想好像发生了翻天覆地的变化，不管是因为身体上的原因，还是因为思想上的原因，只要能使男生对她产生兴趣，那就是好原因。 她想起黄海好像从来没有过“猴急”的样子，搞得她心里很失落。她开始研究姚小萍的穿着打扮，言谈举止，想摸索出一点规律，看看男生到底对什么样的女生才会那么“猴急”。研究结果表明：姚小萍的身材很娇小，女性味很浓，可能到底是结了婚的，不像她，身材有点平板，说话做事也比较中性化，穿着也没什么特色，因为她从来没在这上面花什么精力。 她决定从现在开始，也要花点精力打造自己的形像了，免得男生都不睬她，使她在这个世界这么孤独。 但她的打造计划还没开始，就有男生来睬她了，是黄海。那天她突然接到黄海一个电话，说他找到了“五花肉”，摸清了情况，现在想跟她见个面，问她可不可以抽时间跟他一起吃个饭。 石燕的第一个反应是黄海出事了，被抓起来了，现在正在别人的胁迫下要把她也勾出去逮捕。她小心地问：“你这是什么意思？” 黄海说：“我找到'五花肉'了，跟她谈过了，因为你也很关心这事，所以想告诉你一下－－” “你没离开D 市？” “也算离开了一下吧，因为我去了'五花肉'的老家，那里不算D 市－－” 她听他口气好像很轻松，完全是开玩笑的口气，她想起自己那时为他急成那样，而他竟然根本没离开D 市。没离开不说，还一点事都没有。她心里有点不快，不知道是因为自己白急了一场而不快，还是因为黄海那时没听她的话而不快。她问：“你想在什么地方见面？” “你们学校旁边有个'四季春'餐馆，你可不可以到那里来？” 她似乎已经忘记了自己在孤独之中发下的大誓，连孤独本身也忘了，有点不快地说：“跑那里去干什么？生怕我同学看不见？” 黄海那边沉默了，她知道自己说走了嘴，连忙改口说：“那个餐馆脏得很，我们换一家吧－－” 但是黄海不象前几次那样顺服了，没把她的允诺当成恩赐，而是很平淡地说：“既然你觉得不方便，那就算了吧。” 她还想解释申辩，但黄海已经放过了这个话题，以新闻报导的口吻说：“我就在电话里把事情经过给你说一下吧，是这样的，我去'五花肉'的老家找到了她，她说她的确是有过那信的底稿的，但是她已经以一百五十块钱卖给一个来采访的记者了，那个记者说过要把这事写出来，登在报上，但后来就没消息了，她也不知道在报上登出来没有，反正她的生活没有任何改变。” “那她－－没被煤矿－－抓起来？” “既然我在她老家找到了她，当然是没被抓起来－－” 她觉得黄海现在说话也比以前冲了，这句话好像就暗含讥讽一样，她心里起了一种害怕感，好像他正在一点一点离开她。虽然黄海对她好的时候，她有很多很多的顾虑，但现在黄海似乎要离开她了，她心里又起了很多的不舍。她竭力想把这个谈话拉长一点，想提几个聪明点的问题，免得又引起黄海的不快。她说：“那她－－对我们说她有那封信的底稿，只是为了－－骗钱？” “也不是为了骗钱，她的确还有一份底稿，不过是她儿子抄在一个练习本上的，既然不是原件，又不是复写件，而是她儿子抄的，就没有多大用处了－－” “她怎么不留几个复印件呢？” “你以为她是你呀？她一个文盲，一辈子没离开过乡下和矿山，她哪里知道什么复印不复印？”