Chapter 4 31-40

31 I like emotional stories that start in a flash, it fits my nature, whether I read or experience it, I don't like to be muddled, don't be awkward, a girl, if I meet her three times and don't sleep with her, I will probably never sleep with her. I love dewy marriages, even those whores who cut their fees for a moment of pleasure, and I love those big-hearted girls who, guided by their feelings, will rashly sleep with young men who have only met once. Don't worry, they are the Eves who regard the modern city as the Garden of Eden. They are so cute, sincere girls who are cuter than cute.

No one is purer and more charming than those girls called "Da La". The beautiful girls among them are simply the angels living in modern times, and nothing can be used to praise these girls too much. As for those serious women who talk about so-called constancy, love and other incomprehensible nonsense, Wilde has a word to describe them, that is, "they all exude the smell of being possessed." They are possessed by money, by security, by comfortable life, by calculation, by fear of not taking risks, by hypocrisy, by appearance, by deception, by sweet talk, by guarantee, by husband, by children, by selfishness, etc. Possessed, they don't even know that they have desires, they are secure and not free.

They are really poor whores who have so few clients. Give them self-repression, make them decent, wish them peace, I really don't know why God gave them sex organs. However, I also bless them, let them fend for themselves in this world. 32 Chen Xiaolu is not that kind of person, Chen Xiaolu is my angel. When we went home in the middle of the night, Chen Xiaolu and I had another person we didn't know very well drop by, and the three of us took the same car. Because that person was in the way, I didn't have the nerve to send Chen Xiaolu home, so I got off halfway.Watching her taxi go away, I stood alone on the Fuxingmen Bridge, watching the cars passing by, I couldn't help sighing, and fell in love.

I got off the bridge and walked wildly along the Second Ring Road until I reached my home in Andingmen. When I went to bed, I was exhausted. 33 At almost ten o'clock the next day, I was woken up by a phone call. I got up, brushed my teeth and washed my face, drank a cup of hot coffee, and wrote a few lines of novels. Thin mouse pigtails. I picked up the clothes I wore yesterday from the carpet, found my wallet from inside, and found out the small piece of cigarette pack paper that marked the mouse’s pigtail phone number, and dialed her phone hesitantly, always dialing the last number For the last time, I quickly pressed the last number, waited for the blind tone from the opposite side, and hung up the phone after a while.I lowered my head again and wanted to write a few lines of novels, but my mind was empty.

I grabbed the phone again, dialed her pager number, called her, hung up the phone and waited, within a minute, the phone rang, and I quickly picked it up. "Is it Zhou Wen?" "Is it Chen Xiaolu?" "What's up?" "Are you busy today?" "I have to go to class this afternoon." "After class?" "It's fine." "I'll treat you to dinner tonight." "What are you doing?" "Let's chat, okay?" "Okay, let's get in touch after I finish class." "So—that's it?"

"that's it." After hanging up the phone, I called Daqing, and his sleepy voice came. "Who is it?" "Zhou Wen, what are you doing?" "Stay here." "Tell you something." "What's up?" "I kind of like Chen Xiaolu." "Then jump." "Do you think there is a play?" "There is a play." "I asked her out." "She agreed?" "Yes, what happened to her before?" "I don't know too well. I heard that there is one." "What now?" "have no idea."

"Tell me what the outcome of this matter will be?" "She took care of you!" Daqing laughed and I hung up the phone. After a while, the phone rang again, I picked up the receiver, it was Chen Xiaolu. "I'm Zhou Wen." I said. "Hey, let me tell you, let's just do this, let's not go to the restaurant, you pick me up at the school gate, go to our house, and eat the noodles I made." "Okay, where is your school?" "On the side of the third ring road, in front of the Polytechnic University, my car is parked there." "What car?"

"A white Skota." "What time is it?" "Four thirty." "Okay, I'll wait for you by the car." I called Daqing again, and he was going to Beitu to check the information. Since I also had a costume drama script, I made an appointment to meet in Beitu. 34 The rest of the time was spent impetuously. I went to Beitu and searched for a long time before I found two reference books that might be useful. I wrote them down on a piece of paper, and then I waited to borrow the books. Watch, it was three forty, I hurriedly pushed the funeral to Daqing, left Beitu, took a car, and arrived at the University of Science and Technology.To my surprise, there was no Skoda parked at the gate. I asked the taxi driver to drive around the campus twice, but I couldn't find the car.I was very anxious, so I asked the driver to drive the car back to the third ring road, found a public phone, and called Mouse Xiaozhuan’s cell phone, but the phone was not clear, so I gave her my phone number, and she called right away, asking I was waiting at the school gate. I put down the phone and ran towards the school gate. When I arrived, I kept walking along the corridor. After walking a few steps, a white Sri Lanka drove out from a side road. Geda, it was Chen Xiaolu, and I let out a sigh of relief.

I got into her car, got on the third ring road, and drove to her house. 35 Chen Xiaolu's home is located in a residential building near Xibalizhuang. She parked her car in front of a self-selected shopping mall, and we went in to buy things together. She bought six eggs and a few sausages, and I also picked out some other snacks. When it came time to pay the bill, she insisted on paying it herself. We went up two floors and came to the door of her house. She took out the key to open the door, and it took a hundred times to open it. Her younger brother was watching a video in the living room. It was the pretty Winnie.Huston and the upright old Kevin co-starred in "Bodyguard".I chatted with his brother for a while, and she made me a cup of Nescafe instant coffee, which was the same brand as I often drink. On a writing desk, I found another lamp that was exactly the same as the one I used.

We watched "Bodyguard" together for a while, and her brother went to school. She told me that she and her brother rented this unit together, one thousand yuan a year. It was a friend's house, half rented and half rented. Then she told me to keep watching while she went into the kitchen to cook noodles. How could I be in the mood to watch "The Bodyguard", so I sneaked to the kitchen door anxiously, and leaned against the door to watch her cook noodles. She first fried two eggs with oil, then poured cold water, and stood in the kitchen waiting As the noodles boiled, I asked her, "Do you usually stand here and wait while cooking the noodles?"

"yes?" The scene of her standing here looking at a small pot every day suddenly appeared in front of my eyes, and tenderness surged in my heart. We chatted about the little things around each other without saying a word, and I suddenly asked: "They said you got a loan, why don't I look like it?" She raised her head and looked directly at me: "Who told you?" "Can't remember." "I'm with a Taiwanese guy, but he's not rich." After all, he pinched his tiny neck, meaning to say: "How is it?" "It's nothing, the pot is open, it's time to go down." I pointed to the hot steam rising from the edge of the pot lid. During the meal, we competed to tell each other about our experience like a competition. She told me that she used to have good academic discipline when she was in school. Bei Jiangong, who studied structure, didn't like studying anymore, and was admitted to the Academy of Chinese Opera to study opera. He wanted to go to the Academy of Film, but that year he only recruited film theory, and then fell in love with a small businessman, and then fell in love. At the most tragic time, I met this Taiwanese, followed him to the south, and then I felt bored and returned to Beijing alone. That’s probably all. I asked her, "Chengcheng said that he slept with you, is that true?" She shook her head decisively: "No." I told her that I like to build. Chen Xiaolu knew Jiancheng earlier than I did. At that time, she, Daqing, Lao Fang and other friends were all very poor. At that time, Jiancheng was still working as a liar, not married, and hanging out with a little liar. She was a very fun girl. At that time, the money they spent looking for good restaurants everywhere was cheated by Jiancheng. "It's interesting, think about it, a big liar leads a little liar, followed by a bunch of poor students wandering around the streets, all hoping to cheat some money for everyone to eat and drink together." Mouse Pigtail said with a smile. The noodles had already been eaten, and we were still sitting at the table chatting. She took the empty bowl to the kitchen and I wanted to help wash it, but she said no, she likes to do her own things. We went back to the living room and continued to talk, because it was cold in the living room, we entered her bedroom, the quilts were piled up on the bed, and the walls were colorfully pasted with photos of celebrities, like a student dormitory.She climbed onto the bed, covered her legs with a quilt, and I sat on the edge of the bed, continuing to talk about the topic just now, but there was a pause from time to time, and when I paused, I was anxious to think of various topics to pick up, but what should be said What I had just said was almost over, and the hopeless pause appeared again. I called her: "Chen Xiaolu?" "Hey." "I like you." She said nothing. I said again: "I like you." She said, "Actually, I wanted to call you when I came back last night." After a pause, I lowered my head and asked, "I want to hold you and talk to you—" After a while, she saw that I hadn't moved, so she said "um".I kicked off my shoes, went to bed and hugged her. We hugged and kissed, and for a long time, I asked her, "Want to fuck?" She shook her head and said, "No." Then she said, "Come on." 36 In the evening, Chen Xiaolu insisted on driving me home. In the car, she told me not to tell them about us, except for Daqing, who is a nice person. Downstairs in our house, we sat in the cab for a long time, and finally, she told me: "Tomorrow, the Taiwanese will come back." "how long?" "One week." "Give him back the phone and the car, come with me?" "He is a good man." The two of us cast our gazes out of the car window, it was pitch black outside, a few sporadic drops of rain fell on the window glass, we were silent. "Know what it's like when I drive back alone?" "Know." 37 She drove away and I walked down the road for two hours before I went home exhausted and went to sleep.Before going to bed at two o'clock in the morning, I called Daqing and told him: "I'm married to Chen Xiaolu, don't tell anyone else yet." He readily agreed, of course, a second later, my friends also know. The next day, I woke up early at 6:30 in the morning. I wanted to go to sleep again, but I couldn't sleep anyway. I simply got up, took a hot shower, brushed my teeth, shaved my beard, and put myself After cleaning, I felt a little hungry, so I baked two slices of bread in the oven, swallowed the cold sausage in the refrigerator, and peeled an apple to eat. I came back from the kitchen to the living room, and found that I had nothing to do, but my heart But I don’t know why, as if grass had grown, I turned around in the room in a panic, completely unaware, I went to the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror, and said to myself I warned myself: "How can you see people with such an ugly appearance-don't go on like this, just calm down and see if you can find something to do." I went back to the living room and looked for the so-called things to do. First, I turned on the computer and wanted to write a few lines of scripts, but it was difficult to read the two pages I wrote last time, so I played freecell. The success rate is more than 95%. After a while, I played several times in a row. After looking at the statistics, the success rate dropped to 85%. So I turned off the computer, sneaked to the bookcase, and found Come out with a video called "Good Guys" and start watching, Martin.I usually never get tired of watching Scorsese’s movies, but I couldn’t watch them that morning. I tried to show them at a slow speed with the remote control panel to see how Martin assembled the pictures. It’s ridiculous that I watched them for a long time, but I didn’t remember anything. , No way, I threw away the remote control panel, turned off the TV, and went to the bookcase, I was determined to pick a book that required concentration to read, and I picked a Bertrand."Logic and Knowledge" by Russell, from the beginning, I always read this book from the beginning, but never see the first fifty pages, I like Russell, want to finish this book countless times, Unfortunately, I was never able to achieve my wish, and this failure was inevitable, so I threw away the book, put away the paper and pen used for notes, and started smoking one cigarette after another, drinking one cup after another. Water, listening to music one by one, I listened to Mussorgsky's symphonic poem "Night on a Barren Hill" performed by the Paris Symphony Orchestra conducted by Rostropovich, and just heard the first title "The Witch Assemble, make a lot of noise" was very uncomfortable by the weird sound, so it was replaced by Donoghue's Tchaikovsky's "Piano Concerto No. 2". It didn't make much sense, so it was replaced by Haydn's "Quartet No. 74" played by the Berg Quartet, which was a total suffering!I turned off the stereo, went downstairs, and came to the river downstairs. I walked up and down by the river. Suddenly, I thought that the mouse pigtail would call me, so I ran back to the building and got on the elevator. Back in the room, I looked at my watch. It was almost eleven o'clock at noon. Finally, I dawdled to the phone, took it off with a shameless hand, and couldn't resist calling Chen Xiaolu. "Hello, Chen Xiaolu?" "it's me." "I miss you." I couldn't help but boldly said the sour words. "..." "What are you doing?" I asked her, and when I heard her voice, I slowly calmed down. "sleeping." "What did you do when you got back last night?" "Read a book for a while." "what book?" "Five strokes, I have an exam this morning." "It's already noon." "I didn't get up." "yes?" "I missed class for the first time." "What are you going to do when you get up?" "Brush your teeth, wash your face, eat the leftover noodles we had yesterday, and get dressed." "You should put on your clothes first." "Yes, how about you?" "I got up early and ate an apple." "What are you doing now?" "Write the script." I lied. "Do you like to fuck around during the day?" "I can do it anytime." "I miss you." Pigtail said. "..." "His plane arrives at three o'clock." Mouse Pigtail sighed. He refers to Mouse Pigtail's current boyfriend, the Taiwanese businessman, who visits Mouse Pigtail once or twice a month, buys clothes for Mouse Pigtail, takes her to dinner, and sleeps with her. 38 I don’t know how I made it through the night. Finally, I took a taxi, and Daqing Jiancheng and others invited two advertising models to the VIP building for dinner. Both models were very beautiful, but I couldn’t even look at them. Not in the mood to look at them, in the middle, I ran to the coin-operated phone, stretched out my unsatisfactory hand and called Chen Xiaolu, asking if she could come out, she said no. I went back to the dinner table dejectedly. Of course, everyone saw my restlessness and laughed in their hearts. Daqing was on the sidelines earnestly enlightening me. Daqing said: "Don't be like this, there is a girl here, you talk to someone, don't keep thinking about Chen Xiaolu, it's useless, why don't you go find her." After finishing speaking, I turned my head and told the two models about me: "I don't know, right? This is the scandal that happened to him just now - the day before yesterday our buddy celebrated his birthday -" Daqing talks about such things in a superb and clear way, and a few understatements can outline the whole thing, and at the end he added a concluding statement: "In short, it is impossible to continue like this. For Chen Xiaolu, this is a choice, or Money, or Zhou Wen." Suddenly he patted me who was silent and bowed his head, and said loudly: "What about you, people just want to sleep with you, you talk endlessly, it's no wonder people don't bother you!" I raised my head and said to Daqing: "I want to write more scripts and redeem her——isn't it just money." "You're sick!" Daqing leaned down on the table discouraged, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it at all." When Jiancheng learned that I was hanging out with Chen Xiaolu, he was probably in a bad mood. Maybe it was because he liked Chen Xiaolu before. In order to add to my troubles, he either said that he had slept with Chen Xiaolu or asked me one after another: "Zhou Wen, What is Chen Xiaolu doing now?" "What do you care?" "Let me tell you, it's crazy to do it with her shoulder to shoulder." "Fuck you." Today, Jiancheng is a model sniffing a girl who advertised "Hushubao". She cut her hair, wore a beautiful suit, and distracted her wife, but she still couldn't cover her big belly. He was full of obscene language and delusional The atmosphere attracted the attention of the models, but things backfired. The two models didn't express much except that he frowned as soon as he spoke. Needless to say, I was spoiled by the atmosphere of the dinner, no dirty jokes, no flirting, just dull and boring.All because of me. At the dinner table, I was depressed, sometimes quarreled with Jiancheng, sometimes drank, and was extremely rude to the models. At one time, I said that one of the girls looked like a chicken, and at another time, I said that the other girl was ugly. In short, it was nonsense, the two girls It's strange that I'm not in a hurry. In the evening, instead of going home, I went to Daqing’s house to play mahjong. Daqing likes to play cards with classical music, so I listened to classical music in the middle of the night, and every time the violin played a long note, my heart would also shrink In a mess, of course, all the money I brought was lost. When I left Daqing’s house, I didn’t even have travel expenses, and Daqing gave me a hundred yuan. 39 I took a taxi home, turned on the TV when I entered the door, leaned on the sofa to watch, fell asleep and woke up for a while, and finally fell asleep in the afternoon, woke up at seven or eight o'clock in the evening, spent two hours in cranky thinking, and Lao Hei Not a single line of the negotiated script was written. At ten o'clock, I called Daqing's house, and he told me, "Chen Xiaolu called in the afternoon." "What did she say?" "She said she asked me to tell you that she called." I immediately made a call to Chen Xiaolu's cell phone, and she turned it off. In order to avoid the pain, I took four sleeping pills to make myself fall asleep. In my dream, I saw Chen Xiaolu's two thin and long braids hanging by her ears. In my dream, I told her that this was the last time In the future, I never want to leave her. In my dream, I saw her shed tears in a trance. 40 It was another day of despair, the passion was hopelessly exhausted, when I opened my eyes in the morning, the name of Chen Xiaolu appeared in my mind again, followed by a sharp pain, and I wanted to go to sleep again, it was already That's too late. Love at first sight is unreliable, sex is even more far-fetched, there is no life-saving straw in the world, life is stagnant, and people have no purpose except to follow the rules to death. If there is, it is to live itself, to live, to live ruthlessly Go down and watch your body lose its elasticity, grow old, and become ugly day by day, until it turns into a corpse. If you become famous during your lifetime, the corpse may be made into a mummy for people to see freshly, that's all.Besides, what else could life be? Life-saving straw, my life-saving straw, I should not reach out to grab that life-saving straw, and that life-saving straw is tied with a jewelry box made of satin, and inside there is a rusty ring with the word hope written in the middle, But what is hope?