Chapter 5 41-50

41 What a stupid thing to survive, even though the result is death, people still do not give up, hoping to be important in the universe, this is the source of all ambitions, but unfortunately, this hope is so pitiful and hopeless in my eyes Wishful thinking, the manifestation of this hope is so ugly, because it can only tell and emphasize the same life by deceptive means, instead of challenging the inanimate matter - the most false dignity of human beings is established in the eyes of human beings. , even for moral purposes That's all. Life, an intransitive myth, a naive ignorance and arrogance, a chaotic dream, when I say goodbye to you, I won't say I want, I want, I hope, that's a youthful joke, not worth it Mention, I said, I accept, I am willing, I am willing, I am not suffering, I will not fight back, in fact I am helpless, I have no choice, I choose to retreat.

42 I know Yuan Xiaochen's little trick, which is the patent of the little cutie: Out of self-confidence, first show off some self-satisfied cleverness, after it doesn't work, it will collapse at the last moment, and then try to beg for mercy, play tricks, once successful, Then he was full of joy. I hugged Yuan Xiaochen, looked at her face, there were still tears in her eyes, but she was so happy that she spread her things in my room again in a blink of an eye, bottles and cans were everywhere, even the coat My clothes and trousers were hung in my closet, Yuan Xiaochen was busy, and I went back to continue writing, behind her seemingly never-ending footsteps.

43 Before going to bed at night, I leaned on the bed and read the newspaper. It was the "Boutique Shopping Guide". Yuan Xiaochen was wearing cotton floral pajamas. The pants were smeared here and there, and I squinted at her: "No one is harassing, so you can flirt by yourself, that's fine!" She gave me a sideways look, kicked me from under the quilt, and said, "You should also apply some oil, it's dry in winter." "I don't need it, I'm still waiting to dry out and become an armor user." I continued to read the newspaper, and Yuan Xiaochen picked up what I read and flipped through the rest. When she saw me flipping through the rental information, she snatched it up and threw it aside: "What are you looking at! And secretly trying to drive me away! "

"No, I just took a look." "How can anyone be so accurate casually? You can see the column for renting a house at a glance!" "Okay, I'll look at the car, okay?" "That's about the same. I advise you to use your brain and think about it. When you earn some money to buy me a BMW, let me drive out in a majestic way. At least get a beautiful woman with a famous car." "The newspaper said that the Beijing No. 2 Cleaning Team is recruiting people. You can sign up quickly. The leader will send you a garbage truck tomorrow morning. Drive past the raging wolf smokers. They will avoid you and never come out. A car accident, no one dares to stop you when you run a red light, that's what you call prestige!"

"Go and go, I have no ambition at all!" "Damn, if you don't spend money on a girl, it means you have no ambition? Is that what your grandma said when she taught you Chinese?" "yes." "I really admire your grandma and sympathize with your grandpa. I don't know how he lived under your grandma's despotic power all his life." "Died twenty years earlier than my grandma." "My God—hope the tragedies of the old days don't repeat themselves." "I'm going to do it to you!" She raised her voice and pinched me.

"Get out!" I said with a smile. Yuan Xiaochen kicked me, then pretended to get off the bed, and then looked back at me unwillingly: "You kicked me away again?" "No boom." "You're booming—I'll show you." After she finished speaking, she rolled under the bed with a "gudong" sound, looking clumsy and funny. I raised my hand to pick her up from under the bed, she supported one arm and kneaded vigorously, making a "sisi" inhalation sound from her mouth. "Does it hurt from the fall? I need to practice before performing in the future. At this level, I thought a toad fell into the barrel!"

"Get out!" She climbed up and punched me again. I picked up the newspaper on the quilt and read it. Yuan Xiaochen pushed my shoulder: "Let me ask you, did you really have the thought of driving me away?" "You can't figure out your own strength, do you want to count your charm value from me?" "What to do!" "Zero! Zero! Zero!" 44 In the past, even though we were friends with benefits, the relationship between Yuan Xiaochen and I was relatively average. We only talked on the phone once or twice a week. When I went to the entertainment venue on weekends, I would often call her. Sometimes she went, and sometimes she had something to do. Go, if I go, I don’t necessarily go home with me. Sometimes I play poker in the bar, and the person disappears after beating her. Picked her up, never sent her off, I don't even know where she lives, and all of a sudden, she broke into

In my life, things were thrown all over the place, and people were lying so flat beside me, which gave me a strange feeling, but I didn't bother to ask her, I have always been easy-going in this regard. "Do you have a regular girlfriend?" Yuan Xiaochen asked me when I fell asleep. "No." "What about not fixed?" "You count as one." "Is there any more?" "This is my privacy, I refuse to answer." "What do you think of me as your girlfriend?" "you?" "I!" "Let's take one step at a time."

"Hey, don't be so reluctant, let me ask you, let's try, what do you think?" "Okay." "Then I'll be the boss, won't I?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, if a woman calls you in the future, don't stop me from scolding her for flirting!" "Who told you to answer my phone? I'll install a phone for you tomorrow." "Save some money and buy me a happy little gift-what kind of phone!" "What are your plans, tell me." "My plan is to spend at least a month with you, and then we'll talk about finding a job."

"Oh." "Also, I heard that you are getting more and more popular recently, and you will be famous and rich just around the corner. Is there such a thing?" "No—let me tell you, don't try to take advantage of me. My way is, if I become famous and get rich, I will save money to chase after Maggie Cheung and Faye Wong. It's really not good for Cecilia Cheung and Zhang Ziyi. If I have nothing to do, I will eat you for the rest of my life, and even if you marry, I will be your worthless, silly brother and sleep on your sofa every day!" "Okay, but let me tell you, don't touch your hands when you sleep with our bitch, that thing can't accuse you of sexual harassment, but don't call her an iron underpants!"

"I have that grace." "That's good—let's talk about how to spend this month?" "Crap." "How?" "How would I know!" "Let me tell you—the cost of living is shared equally. As for the house, I will live in yours. I will stay with you for free. I will accompany you for free. As for the housework, I have observed that your overall hygiene level is not bad, so maintain the status quo That's fine, my request is to treat me to dinner once a month, and you can treat me as much as you think I'm worth, don't be hypocritical, if there is a fight, you let me, and then, your extramarital affairs Sexual activities are suspended, if you really can’t resist the temptation, go out and have a condom, don’t let me know beforehand, don’t tell me afterwards, and finally, when you go out to play and introduce to others, say I’m you or your girlfriend—what’s your opinion?” "agree." I turned off the light, and in the dark, I heard her smirk "cheating" by herself, she laughed for a while, and asked me softly, "Hey, do you think I'm a proper family?" "Have." "Of course, I was born to be the boss. I used to talk about boyfriends. I don't care if you are married or not. I don't talk. Watch for a month. If you are unmarried, you have to break up with the previous one within a month. If you are married, you have to break up with the previous one within three months. If there is no divorce, I will turn around and leave without saying a word." "Awesome you." "Of course, hey, let me ask you, do you need pornographic services tonight? If not, my daughter-in-law, I'm going to sleep." "It's time to sleep with you." "Then you wish the little white-collar worker good night." She pretended to say coquettishly, and leaned forward to kiss me. "Bah! Take all the fucking clothes off! Hurry up! Don't say I'm a porn star by dawn, I've heard enough!" "Hey, you will die if you are not awesome!" 45 Everything was sorted out in a hurry. I didn't ask Yuan Xiaochen why he suddenly rushed to me, and I didn't think about the consequences in the future. In my temperament, I am very impatient to discuss the future of a matter, thinking that it is just a kind of cranky thinking.That's the way life is, when you try to control it, it's often difficult with a lack of clues, and when you put it aside, things will follow their own logic, I just have to be patient, things will take their own course There will be a so-called solution. 46 I have to say that Yuan Xiaochen's ability to set up a camp is really first-class. After two weeks, I found that with her unremitting efforts, her existence was gradually revealed bit by bit, but tenaciously. Through sex life, She adjusted my work and rest time to synchronize with her, and slept with her. I was often used by her as an excuse to accompany her to do things that I would never do when I was alone. .I have noticed that the self-centeredness of sensible women is often realized in a very secret way. It is not an order, request or reasoning, but a reasonable way. Yuan Xiaochen has a clear Secretary-like mind, she is good at managing several scattered goals together to achieve an efficient result. For example, she first convinces me that I need a new bed sheet that matches the color of the quilt, and then she will put the purchase The time is arranged when she is interviewing, so that I will drive to buy a new bed sheet and send her to the interview by the way. Similar tricks appear endlessly in her, which makes me marvel at the wisdom of white-collar workers. With her, I become I am very particular and frugal. I found that my common sense of life is outdated. If she hadn’t pasted a piece of laundry common sense cut from a magazine in front of the washing machine, I wouldn’t even be able to figure out that clothes of many kinds of materials should be washed separately. The time and order are also completely different, and the effect can be seen, of course. In terms of shopping, Yuan Xiaochen opened my eyes. I used to read the instructions carefully for the products that I didn’t even look at in the supermarket. My room is cleaner than before. It is more beautiful, everything is more convenient, there are more necessities in life, and the cost is more reasonable. In short, this time, the less hasty cohabitation life actually made me consider a possibility called marriage, although that This thought just crossed my mind, but I couldn't deny its existence. 47 When we were together, I also found that Yuan Xiaochen was watching me quietly. Maybe she didn’t realize it. For some reason, I always had a feeling of being evaluated, that is to say, she often made comments when I was doing something. Some personal opinions, when I was talking on the phone with my friend, she was listening, and when I hung up the phone, she said to me, which sentence I said was too much, it would have an effect that was not good for me, so I cleaned up the house once , will get her praise, of course, before the fact Adding the words "unexpectedly" made me stunned by the encouragement. 48 Lonely men and widows look at each other all day long, and the main content of their dealings is nothing more than food and sex. Life around these two things is very monotonous, so we need to have a passion from the bottom of our hearts. I found that Yuan Xiaochen really has it. Eat from one to five meals, depending on your mood, sometimes you cook together, sometimes you eat separately, sometimes you say you go to the supermarket to buy something, and you end up eating enough in the supermarket, sometimes you say you go outside for a walk, In the end, I couldn’t walk back in a small restaurant. Of course, these are exceptions. There are always general rules. Yuan Xiaochen Zhang Luo, Yuan Xiaochen is familiar with all kinds of convenience food that can be served on the table in ten minutes. Whenever I hear her knocking on the table with a metal spoon, I know it is time to serve. She often describes it proudly: " You are responsive, just like a dog." 49 But occasionally there are exceptions. For a few days, it may be related to the failure of finding a job. Yuan Xiaochen was in a bad mood and tried to escape from reality in his heart. He slept more than a baby. Even when he was awake, his face still looked like he was still in a dream. I didn’t like to eat, and we didn’t leave the door, so we consumed until there was only half a catty of dried noodles left in the refrigerator. I made the dried noodles into cold noodles and had a meal with Yuan Xiaochen, and there were about one or two left, which I put in the refrigerator During this time, although the script I was writing was at a critical moment, I kept thinking about the last few noodles. I fell asleep after writing and finished eating the noodles in my dream. Sitting at the dinner table and eating relentlessly. I moved a chair to sit opposite her, blinked and stared at her, trying to give her the impression that everyone was watching me, but she ignored my eager staring at all, and calmly stirred the noodles with chopsticks After stirring, I poured the Laoganma version of Guizhou hot sauce I bought, and added a little black pepper powder as an exception, and then opened my shameless mouth-do you know how angry I was at that time? "Stop!" I yelled, "You're too selfish." She glanced at me, and said slowly, annoyed with my tone: "What's the matter?" "This is the only one or two cold noodles, I made it! I put the leftovers in the refrigerator last night and wrapped them in plastic wrap. Do you have the nerve to eat them alone?" "Why not?" She actually asked me in English. "So, did you know that I'm as hungry as you?" "I know, of course I know." She said slowly. "But, why don't you split me in half?" I slapped the table and pretended to growl. She took a bite of the noodles, and then tapped my face with her chopsticks: "Because you got up later than me, and you should go to the mall to buy necessities, and I will always go." "I can't walk without these noodles or two." I teased her in a rogue tone. "So, I'll eat, and then I'll go shopping." Yuan Xiaochen ate the last two noodles with great care, and then answered me. "I'll starve to death by the time you come back from shopping!" "I'll save you, don't worry." After she finished speaking, she ate two more bites. Suddenly, she couldn't help laughing, and stretched her mouth towards me, so a chilling smell of hot sauce spread over the mouth. in my mouth. "If you don't let me eat noodles, don't ask me to taste any spicy food, so as not to increase my appetite and not satisfy me." "You understand the truth, don't you? But why did you buy two tertiary movies yesterday and show them to me, and then slip away alone, sleeping soundly?" "You won't call me?" "I pushed you for a long time, but you kicked me off the bed." "real?" "And more than once!" She slapped the table and pretended to growl like me. "Don't you know that I was having strange dreams? Can't you pick another time?" "If I pick something else, you might kick me downstairs. Have you thought about the consequences?" "It seems you have thought about it." "The answer is correct!" she said, and patted my head. "Go to sleep for a while, and call you when I buy food." I frowned and thought about her suggestion, and thought it was very good, so I stood up, walked back to the bedroom, fell back on the bed, and fell asleep peacefully. 50 Since food is mentioned, I might as well go on to say a few more words. Writing is especially damaging to one’s sexual desire. If anyone wants to take a road of abstinence, writing is undoubtedly a good way, especially when you receive an order that must be completed on time. At that time, your body and mind will be under pressure. and tired, and, root According to many years of experience, I seem to have a vague feeling that writing is incompatible with sex. The general feeling is that if you have sex, you will feel empty in your mind when you write the next day. , other than to be in a daze with satisfaction, there is really nothing else to do. I think the writing activity stems from a deep-seated lack. Maybe some people are more willing to write things casually when they are satisfied, but I think it must be very irritating to read, and there will be a sense of complacency between the lines , who would be willing to see other people's proud appearance?I won't anyway. So, you won't be surprised when I say that I didn't pay much attention to sex during that period, right? However, Yuan Xiaochen felt strange. Aside from being strange, she tried to test me with nothing to do.