Chapter 4 31-40

31 Out of a childish mentality, I still think it is a happy thing to walk home with a strange and good-looking girl, especially if there are no factors such as interests, like pursuing Pure animal curiosity, no promises, no deceit, no demands, just pure juxtaposition of each other, body to body, word to word, solitude to solitude. We are sitting in the car, through the glass, we can see the moving night outside, like a changing urban evening makeup, intoxicating and unsettling, but we have succeeded, so even the uneasiness is only sure That kind of unease, you can say no at any moment, you can stop, of course, we continue, this is a shadow that hangs under the great wings of freedom, it is a pleasure that we can handle independently, equal, without danger, And without the hassle, it's a congenial handshake between two wills.

32 "You said we only started talking in the afternoon, but now we're lying together like this, huh?" Before falling asleep, Yao Jingjing even sent a vague sigh of emotion. I didn't answer her, just went on to sleep. I woke up suddenly in the morning, there was a faint light outside the window, and the surrounding was so quiet that only the sound of Yao Jingjing’s breathing was heard. I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower, and then I stood by the gas stove and made myself a big cup of coffee for two. The aroma of coffee is satisfying. I sat in front of the TV with the coffee in my hand, turned on the TV, and turned on the DVD player. I randomly found a DVD I hadn’t seen and stuffed it in. Then I pressed the play button, and a burst of sound came from the TV. After leaving, I went to the bedroom door and closed it, but Yao Jingjing straightened up and shouted at me: "Don't close the door, don't close the door."

"I watch DVDs." "It doesn't matter, I'm not afraid of the sound, just to practice my English listening." Before she finished speaking, French voices came from the TV. I laughed, Yao Jingjing waved to me, and I walked to the bed, she grabbed my hand, dragged me to the bed, and then said deliberately loudly: "I am not educated, I don't understand French, but can memorize two sentences in the text, which is called "a spring night is worth a thousand gold, and the king will not go to court early"!" I imitated her tone and said, "Our village chief said that the food tastes better when it is heated up overnight, and the meat that has been reheated is the best."

"Take practical action!" She said coldly on purpose, then turned around and faced me with her naked back. I climbed onto the bed, took off my clothes in a hurry, and hugged her from behind. She struggled to turn around, panting deeply, and hugged me tightly: "Don't tell anyone." "agree." 33 Then things were like a war. This battle lasted until ten o'clock in the morning. I mean, I received a call from Yao Jingjing. She rushed out of my house, ran to the taxi, and passed the interview in one go. Finally, she was admitted. "The taxi driver looked at me and almost asked me if I wanted to take a taxi or call the police. I had a bad idea, you are saved, and my monthly salary has increased to 6,000 yuan!"

"Then I have to thank you." "No, you have to put away the lipstick I left in your place, as well as my mobile phone earphones. If Yuan Xiaochen is found, you will die." "Don't worry, I will use the earphones for you. Where is the lipstick?" I walked to the mirror in the bathroom and picked up the lipstick by the sink. Already!" "you dare!" I drew a gopher on the mirror with lipstick and said, "It's pretty easy to use." "I burned your kennel with a fire, do you believe it?" "Be careful when you strike a match, don't singe your eyebrows bald, it takes time to grow them back."

"Well, can't you just say something I like to hear?" "congratulations." "That's about the same. I'm going to go through some formalities soon. I won't say much. I'll contact you by text message in the future. Pay attention to your personal hygiene and talk about morality. Do you hear me?" "I heard you, female guerrilla captain." "Goodbye, stinky rascal." 34 The next morning, when I was the most sleepy, I received a call from Yuan Xiaochen in bed, asking if I had time to pick her up in a sauna room. "What's the matter?" I asked.

"Overnight, my wallet, mobile phone, and job were all gone." Yuan Xiaochen said in a dejected tone. "Let's have lunch together, I haven't woken up yet." "Well, where?" "you say." "As long as it's the kind of big fish and big meat, it can be done anywhere, and I'm almost starved." "I'll get up after another two hours of sleep, half past eleven, how about the elephant's steak?" "Well—get up early," she said in a pathetic tone. 35 I came to the Big Elephant Western Restaurant at the north gate of Ritan Park on time, and found that Yuan Xiaochen was already there, and there were several empty plates on the table. She was waving a fork in her hand and sending the tuna into her mouth .

I sat down and ordered a cup of black tea. Yuan Xiaochen sighed and said, "You pay the bill, don't blame me for ordering too much. I haven't eaten a single bite since noon yesterday." "What's wrong?" She sighed amusedly and said, "It's hard to say." Then eat it up. Because I just woke up, I couldn't eat anything, so I ordered borscht and ate it with bread. After eating, Yuan Xiaochen asked me: "Is it convenient for you?" "What's wrong?" "I have nowhere to go," she kicked, and I realized that there was a suitcase and two large handbags under the table. "It's all my clothes," she said.

36 Life has taught me an experience, that is, things that others don’t want to say, you must never ask, even if you find out by all means, it is mostly not good for you. People have formed A wonderful self-encouragement mechanism, that is, to report the good but not the bad. People instinctively cover up the things that are not good for them, and put the good things on the table. A plant, no matter how beautiful it blooms, bears fruit. No matter how plentiful the fruit is, it cannot conceal the fact that its roots are groping blindly in the dark soil, and whether they can get nourishment and rain depends entirely on luck--flowers and fruits, I don't believe it, who are you kidding?

37 In this way, at noon, in the gray cold wind of winter, Yuan Xiaochen moved to my place. She was depressed, and for the first few days, she didn’t like to talk or do anything. While I was out, I guess she was taking advantage of me. , just make some phone calls.A week later, she asked me for a taxi fare of 100 yuan, went out, and came back with a wallet and mobile phone. She returned the money to me seriously, and then fell into a coma for a few days as if she had been hit. During this period, I received a movie script, and I went out to discuss it from time to time, and I couldn’t take care of her. I didn’t go home for two days, and I lived in a hotel outside. When the plot went home, she saw Yuan Xiaochen's smile as soon as she entered the door.

"Yo, it's cloudy and sunny, beauty!" "That's right, I've frightened you away with a livid face all day long. How dare I, a white-collar worker?" "Look at your politeness, please sit down." "Boss, please first! I just went to the supermarket to buy the freshest poison. Do you want to drink it while it's hot, or wait until it's cold?" "I suggest you drink first." Yuan Xiaochen picked up a tube of autumn pear juice on the table and drank it, then cleared his throat, swung his arms, and said, "I went online to look for a job, and I sent all the pictures of beauties, but I haven't heard back yet, what do you call this? modern life?" "You try my picture, maybe it will work." "Your? Who is responsible for scaring the merchant out of the murder?" "The police, I will never stop you from taking you away later." "Stay there--I tell you, I have a great opinion of your performance in the previous period!" "What's wrong with me?" "The little white-collar worker has experienced severe physical and mental suffering. You see it in your eyes and forget it in your heart. You don't even say a word of greetings. Your face is like hitting a door without puffing up. Are you sensible?" "I'm afraid to disturb your sadness. You know, sadness is a good taste, but it's a cow." "You don't love me at all, and you'll just put coarse salt on my wound with a smile on your face!" "Come on, I can't afford to sprinkle it. I keep the salt and sprinkle it in the frying pan. How can I be willing to sprinkle it on you?" "I don't cook any delicious food for people, but only instant noodles and quick-frozen dumplings. The living standards of unemployed white-collar workers have dropped a lot. I was so hungry that I dreamed of big lobsters several times at night!" "I think you look more and more like a crayfish." "Get lost!" Before I could finish my sentence, Yuan Xiaochen stamped her feet and shouted, her face beaming with joy. I knew she had returned to normal. 38 In the afternoon, Yuan Xiaochen asked me to take her to swim in the Yingdong Swimming Pool. I couldn't hold her back, so I took her there. After I changed my clothes and entered the hall, I dived into the pool as usual. I climbed back to the shore only to find Yuan Xiaochen sitting by the pool, her swimsuit still wet. "What's the matter, you are half naked and have no sun to bask in, are you afraid of catching a cold? I have grown up and never heard of swimming models. Does the swimming pool pay you? Let's go." "Don't, don't, there's a man who's been watching me for a long time. I'm about to change my posture. Be patient. I'm fine anyway. Tell him to look more. He won't be able to see in the diving." "Where's the man—shall I pass you a message?" "No, just face to face, do you know what eye-eyes are? I'll send another pass." After finishing speaking, he winked at the opposite face. When I looked up, there was indeed a man sitting by the opposite pool. He was black and strong, with a thick head and a thick head, and he was paddling in the water with two short and thick legs.Seeing me looking at him, I pulled off my swimming goggles and put them on, but I was still looking this way.I understand, it must be that Yuan Xiaochen made an appointment with him or he asked Yuan Xiaochen to meet here. I hated being an accessory to the girls' emotional games, so I said to Yuan Xiaochen: "You pass it on to him first, and I won't delay you. I will call you later." After all, I left the swimming pool without looking back. I went to the changing room to take a shower, then I changed my clothes and came out. I bought a bottle of iced oolong tea in the lobby and walked towards the parking lot while drinking. To Yuan Xiaochen. "I'm sorry, I didn't do well in this matter. Why are you also a great writer? It's embarrassing for you." I didn't say anything, I got into the car, and Yuan Xiaochen got in too. "Don't be angry. I just want him to take a look at you. He also likes to read your books. I told him that I am with you. If he doesn't believe me, he insists on reading it for himself." I wanted to say "Who is with you", but the words stopped on my lips. I thought it was hurtful to say so, so forget it. In general relationships between men and women, I am very tired of being coerced into doing this and that, especially He was coerced by an ignorant girl. 39 Not long after the car started, I said to Yuan Xiaochen: "I'm going to write a script for the next month, and I want to write it alone. If you don't have any land, I'll rent a room for you. If you have money, pay it back to me. If you don't have money, forget it." After a while, find a newsstand on the way and stop for a while, buy some newspapers, and have a look." Yuan Xiaochen listened to what I said, but kept silent. On the way, I went to a newsstand and bought two issues of "Boutique Shopping Guide" and threw them into the car. She didn't read them, and was in a daze. Go into the bedroom, close the door, and pretend to sleep. At night she would come out, eyes swollen from crying, and sit at my table, waiting for a chance to strike up a conversation. I was typing in front of the computer, and when I saw her coming, I switched to Freecell Solitaire. I flipped through the poker, deliberately not talking to her. In my experience, girls like Yuan Xiaochen belong to the troublesome category. There is no problem, if the fakes come true, life will be difficult in the future, so I decided not to change my original intention. After a while, she left, and I heard some noises behind her. Soon, Yuan Xiaochen came out of the bedroom dragging her big suitcase, with two bags on her back, and it took a long time to go out. I looked back at her , she also looked back at me. Then, she smiled and said, "Don't bear it, don't stop me, I'll go to the sauna first, and find a house by myself tomorrow." Then she looked at me, motionless. "It's getting dark today, I want to leave tomorrow, and I don't care about this night, why go to the sauna?" "I'm carrying such a heavy thing, so I just need to get a massage first. I've already made up my mind about it. You can write your script well. I won't bother you anymore. Goodbye." After finishing speaking, he looked at my reaction. I turned the swivel chair one hundred and eighty degrees, turned my back to her, and continued to flip through the poker. As expected, footsteps came from behind, and then a mosquito-like voice sounded: "Don't send me off, it's so dark, it's still so cold outside, I'm a homeless little white-collar , with so many things, what should I do if I run into a bad person—if I’m greedy, I can grit my teeth and endure it, if I run into someone who is greedy for money, my life will be in danger—besides—” I turned around and looked at her, her face turned into a smile, and then said: "Besides, we are not worthy of the name of being friends with guns. Since I entered your door, I haven't fired a single gun." But, how ugly it is to say--" "Get out!" I said with a smile. Seeing that I was relieved, she threw the backpack on the ground with two "bang, bang", ran over and hugged me, kissed me hard on the face twice, and said in a crying voice: "I know you are romantic and selfish." You are ruthless, and you are not short of girls, so I won't bother you any more in the future except sex." 40 Yuan Xiaochen was right. With my flair, selfishness and ruthlessness, I was able to maintain a relatively free way of life. Generally speaking, as long as you are not too greedy in terms of desire and material, you can not be manipulated and dominated by others. As long as you give up your vanity, you can escape an unfortunate fate, that is, to be directly or indirectly slaves of money and beautiful women. A little bit of human dignity, I have no desire to control others, I just work in my own small handicraft workshop, the working hours are controlled by me, I don’t disturb others, and I refuse to disturb others. Lack of meaning, and the naive ambitions of literature and art when I was young disappeared with the advent of the commodity era. With the increase of knowledge and experience, I can see more clearly how personal desires are vying for each other in society under various guises. , without giving in, I have neither interest nor ability to join in. I determine my position in the crowd, that is to strive to be a stand-by bystander, to look at everything ruthlessly, and to look at this fundamentally the same will to life. Apart from my responsibilities to my biological parents, I don’t want to add new responsibilities to myself in the world that has formed a variety of patterns. I understand my position. I am just a public entertainment provider to entertain the public, so that Earning my own ration, I am still a poet who only belongs to me, sad because I understand the loneliness of individual life, and because of sadness, I can more deeply perceive the powerlessness, confusion and emptiness of life.