Chapter 19 Chapter Nineteen: Three Days, Fourteen Nights

On the hottest Saturday night in the summer of 1997, I sat alone in the study room on the seventh floor of the Dongdan Sanjo Basic Medical Research Institute, feeling that life was nothingness. The Institute of Basic Medical Sciences is an old-fashioned building built according to the Soviet model, with a floor height of 3.5 meters and no air conditioning.It’s too hot, and it’s Saturday again. Students originally from Beijing hid in their own air-conditioned rooms. For those from other places, play games or read idle books or catch up on sleep in the dormitory half-naked, or go to the doctor’s duty room in the hospital and other air-conditioned rooms. I went to study "Surgery", TOEFL, and GRE, and I was the only one in the huge study room on the seventh floor.

Even though the floors are high, even though there are no strong boys and girls sitting side by side like a stove, even though all the windows in the study room are opened to the maximum, so that the north and south are transparent, and the windows of the north corridor are convective, it is still useless.I sat at the back of the classroom by the window, without a trace of air flow. Sweat gushed from my forehead and flowed down my neck into the large cotton T-shirt I was wearing, drawing lines of sweat on the back of my chest , the largest and heaviest beads of sweat flowed all the way to the top edge of the underwear, even if I didn't take a sip of water, there was no sign of a pause. Am I a spontaneous spring?I picked the shortest pair of underwear to wear, and the shorts on the outside were not much longer than the underwear. The wrapped penis was still like a dog's tongue on a hot day, always struggling to itch and want to hang out to help release some heat.The forearms placed on the desk and the thighs pressed on the chair did not move for half a minute, and tiny beads of sweat ooze out, like the oil on the teppanyaki, searing the flesh and the veneer of the table and chair together .

Outside the window, neither the moon nor a single star could be seen. The street lamps made the sky a reddish color, making the sky and earth dirty and chaotic.I heard from our stuttering spoken English foreign teacher that he has been mixed in more than 50 countries and cities by teaching English and singing folk songs in bars. Only in Beijing, he can clearly understand what he is breathing.It is a kind of suspension that can be seen and touched. In the semi-gas and semi-liquid matrix, there are solid particles that are almost visible to the naked eye. Thinking about the past three days, I feel cold.

Three days ago, the pager rang, it wasn't Liu Qing, it was my first love's message: Are you busy?Call me when you have time.I thought, if there was no pager, my first love would be wearing that long white skirt and pink gauze top, knocking on the door of my dormitory.If there is no pager, I open the door, and the image of my first love, the smell of eau de toilette, and the smell of experimental mouse feed in the corridor will pour into the dormitory like water after turning on the faucet. "What's wrong?" I called my first love's office in Uncle Hu's dormitory management office. Her office was in an office building one thousand meters west of my body. Uncle Hu was reading the Beijing Evening News three days ago wearing presbyopic glasses. , a round rice bowl oil mark on the newspaper.

"Busy?" My first love asked succinctly. "It's still the same. I just finished the TOEFL test. I should get a perfect score. I made a bet with Gan Yan, a girl in our class. If I get a perfect score, she will invite me to dinner. I will decide the place and order the food. If it is not a perfect score, I will invite her. , She decides the place, she orders the dishes. She has despised me since she went to "Internal Medicine". I have tolerated her for many years. This is a good opportunity to disgust her. I am preparing for GMAT these days, and I do a set for three hours a day The simulated questions have stabilized at more than 750. Similar to playing games in the past, practice makes perfect. The graduation thesis data is almost the same. More than 60 ovarian cancer patients have died in less than three years. Tell me, why am I like this? It’s useless? What’s the use of my thesis on the pathogenesis of ovarian cancer? Do you believe in ghosts? I believe in ghosts recently. My patients regularly check for a non-specific cancer protein called CA125, monitor The progress of cancer and the effect of treatment. A month ago, Aunt Dong, who had been with me for three years, left. I still feel that every Wednesday afternoon, she pushes the door of my laboratory and asks me, 'This week's results Have you come out yet?” Said, “I still want to live a few more years, even a year or two, and leave after watching my daughter get married.” Said, “Actually, my skin is still very good, and I never use any cosmetics.” I I lost another ten catties recently, and now it’s less than one hundred and twenty catties. I don’t think this job can be done after graduation. If I continue to do it, I will lose my soul and my life.” On the phone, even though I have known my first love for ten years, even holding her hand at a super macro distance of less than one centimeter, I have observed it many times. Wherever she is, there becomes a stage, and my palms are hot , the clown hat was put on my head, and I started jumping up and down, talking and acting.

"It's still bullshit." "Seek truth from facts. Besides, you have never praised me. In front of you, you have to praise yourself." "Didn't I praise you?" "Never. Am I good-looking?" "What do men want to look good? Can you come out and sit down?" "OK." "Find a quieter place nearby where you can talk." In Beijing, near Wangfujing, quiet means price.I was sitting in the coffee garden in the lobby of the Taiwan Hotel, and my first love was sitting opposite, wearing a gray skirt and a gray top, her hair was still black and straight, and her facial features were still not surprising. My heart is still being beaten by a small hand, and I sigh in a low voice.I originally thought that when God designed a man's heart, it was like a camera negative. After the first exposure to light, the world view was formed, and the negative of the heart was fixed and useless. Those who eat Zhuo Wenjun's mouth will see innocent girls from now on. Sleepy, eating Su Xiaoxiao's mouth, from now on seeing big breasts is like a hepatitis A patient thinking of pork belly stew.My first love let me know that in fact, when God designed a man’s heart, it was like an oil canvas. The first time you smear, the imprint is the deepest. You can scrape off and repaint later, and you can cover it with other themes, but the first imprint has already penetrated into the canvas. In the texture, it cannot be changed.

"Our unit has two or three division chiefs and bureau chiefs, which are really annoying." "Why bother you?" "I always drag myself to drink, and I always go to sing after drinking. I always say that I sing well and I am not gaudy. A deputy director said that it is an indescribable fragrance." "This deputy director is educated, and he also knows that dark fragrances float. He is much more knowledgeable than the director who came to Shanghai in winter in a military coat and called you back to Beijing." "He is the youngest deputy director in the company's history. He graduated from the Chinese Department of Beijing Normal University. Tang poetry and Song poetry are not your patents, only you are allowed to use them."

"Then you'll keep the scent on and float around all day long, smothering him to death, suffocating him to death." "He always calls at night. In fact, he is very noble. He has the right to approve people to go abroad at any time. Others are trying to find opportunities to get in touch with him and chat more. I am very annoyed. I don't want him to keep calling me Call up." "But you are embarrassed to say every time you answer the phone, 'There is nothing wrong with you, don't call me stupid! If it is about work, we can discuss it in the office tomorrow. If it is a personal matter, I have nothing to do with you. familiar?'”

"He's a very noble person, isn't that bad?" "How long do you talk each time?" "More than an hour, the longest one is from ten o'clock in the evening to four o'clock in the morning." I looked at the coffee in front of me. Twenty yuan a cup, plus 15% service charge, was my living expenses for a week.I listened to my first love talking about her troubles, and I knew very clearly that this was a very simple, ordinary, and old story. girl story.There was a strong light in my heart, and I completed a very important discovery in my life. Growing up so big, I knew my first love for more than ten years, and dreamed of her five hundred times. For the first time, I found that my first love was a very ordinary girl. Although she has a misty fairy air, she actually has all the troubles of ordinary girls.I always thought that her troubles were limited to learning Dong Qichang or Mi Fu in running script, and going to Xishan to see the morning glow on weekends or Beihai to see lotus flowers.

I said, "It's the most difficult thing to not go up or down. Or just go down and use Qu Yuan's way to solve it. I don't care about going abroad, joining the party, being promoted, getting a house, or raising money. I will just keep my secret and live my life alone." , peace of mind, peace of mind, don’t get involved in so many human affairs. Or go ahead and solve it in the way of a fisherman. My dark fragrance floating is like a gun barrel. Let these directors and bureau chiefs know the beauty first, and smell addictive. After that, If you want to smell it again, send me to Australia first, if you want to smell it twice, send me to America, if you want to smell it three times, send me to Europe.”

"If you said it, you didn't say it." "That's right." I paid the bill, and shook hands with my first love in Jinyu Alley with a smile and said goodbye. It was a clear, clear moon, and the traffic was slow. I didn't ask to send her back to the office. She walked towards Donghuamen by herself. I walked back to Renhe Hospital by myself. Two days ago, one hysterectomy was done in the morning, and another was done in the afternoon. The chief surgeon said that he invited me to dinner in the cafeteria at noon, and he stepped down late, leaving only steamed stuffed buns.When I gnawed on the second steamed stuffed bun, the senior sister who is a doctor in the anesthesiology department passed by and said, Qiu Shui, just eat this?I casually picked up the sauced beef that I brought in a small half lunch box for me.This senior anesthesiologist was the school belle of Brother Daji's class, her skin was like a lotus, white and rosy.Putting on a surgical gown and a mask, the exposed black hair, white forehead, and almond eyes are so fascinating that people will not pay for their lives.I saw that the chief surgeon had a strange expression on his face, and when the anesthesiologist left, I put more than half of the sauced beef into the professor's lunch box. When I got off the stage in the afternoon, I changed my clothes and saw the anesthesiologist smoking alone at the entrance of the corridor. My legs were so tired that I asked for one to smoke together.The pagoda tree in the yard has dense branches and leaves, and the entire crown looks like a huge flower ball. "Smoking to relieve fatigue. Sister, when I was in B University, I went with the old botanical professor to find a rare Polygonatum odoratum near Ebian and Dadu River in Sichuan. The old professor once pointed out to me that in the crop fields of farmers in the mountains, there is There are poppies. He said that after doing heavy work, after smoking that thing, he sleeps very soundly, and can get up the next day. The poppies are blooming, which is very beautiful, a bit like the big flower bed in B that sometimes grows poppies." "Yes. There is no such thing, and there is no modern anesthesia, and there is no modern surgery. How are you doing? Are you graduating soon? Are you going to go abroad soon after graduation?" "It's not bad, it's okay. I'm applying. I have a Ph.D. in tumor research and an MBA." "Want to change jobs?" "Tumor, no matter how much you study it, it seems that it can't be cured. The aura is bad, and I have been eating too much recently, and I still lose meat. After finishing the MBA, the company is really dying. You tell the boss, let's close the door and open another one. Do ovarian cancer , I can't tell Aunt Dong, forget it in this life, let's talk about it in the next life." "I heard people say about your deeds during the rounds of the neurology department. The patient's family members reported to the medical office, so you can't control yourself?" A bank executive is recovering from a stroke. It is said that he has greedy several cardboard boxes of cash, and will confess the problem after the stroke recovers to a certain extent.During the rounds, his wife and daughter were all there, listening respectfully. The professor pointed to his daughter and asked, do you know who she is?The executive shook his head.The professor pointed to his wife and asked, do you know who she is?The executive shook his head. I took out ten yuan from the pocket of my white coat, flashed it in front of his eyes, and asked, do you know who this is?The executive's eyes were bright, and he said, ten yuan, but I didn't take it. "I have a strong thirst for knowledge. Besides, what can the family members tell me? I am creatively checking the recovery of the patient's condition. What is wrong?" "Are you still with your girlfriend?" "It's been more than a year." "So much the better." "What's wrong?" "nothing." "What's wrong?" "Your ex-girlfriend was too active, it's fine to be your girlfriend no longer." "What's the matter?" "A few months ago, I also went to an international academic conference at the Great Wall Hotel. She was the host. I met an American professor in his fifties. He didn't return all night on the first day and came back the next morning. Not only did she The people in the hotel room know it, everyone knows it. The chairman of the Chinese meeting is very angry. In the last meeting, this old American professor cheated a Chinese girl. The chairman of the Chinese meeting also asked her daughter to talk to your ex-girlfriend. It is estimated that It's useless. I thought she was still your girlfriend, and I haven't thought about whether to tell you, since she's not your girlfriend now, it doesn't matter if you know." After the cigarette was finished, the anesthetist went back to the operating room. I suddenly realized that I had been standing for almost thirteen hours in a row. I felt extremely tired. I struggled back to the dormitory. I didn’t have the energy to eat, so I fell asleep. The next day, there was no class in the morning, and no operation scheduled. I was woken up by the sun from the east window. From 8:00 the night before to 9:00 the next day, I slept for thirteen hours.I thought about it, restrained my curiosity, and didn't contact my girlfriend. I can imagine what she would say. She must have her own explanation, and the explanation must be plausible.I don't have the right to ask, and I don't want my world to be more chaotic. I told myself repeatedly that the so-called truth has nothing to do with me. No matter what the truth is, it can be understood. My hair is dizzy, I feel unlucky, my body is sticky, and I want to take a hot bath.There was no hot water in the water room. Uncle Hu said, you got up late, it was too hot, and the hot water was used up by other brats taking a shower in the morning. I am burning a new one.I said, I'm going to the bathroom downstairs.Uncle Hu said, don’t go there, too many people have been used these days, I don’t know which piece is broken, and the cold and hot water can’t come out.I can't go to the hospital toilet that I often go to at night to wash. It's too easy to be bumped into during the day. I thought about it, and went to Dongdan intersection to make a face-to-face meeting, and went to Liu Qing's apartment in Yansha, where she had 24-hour hot water. The lobby of Liu Qing's apartment was very air-conditioned, which made my mind a little bit clearer.I don't come very often and the keys are very awkward to use.I pushed open the door, the sun was dazzling, and bundles of bundles were projected from the floor-to-ceiling windows into the living room.In the living room, besides three leather sofas, there is also Liu Qing.Liu Qing was naked, her body was very white, curly, and soft, her eyes were slightly closed, and besides the ten o'clock sunshine in Beijing's midsummer, her body was also covered by a naked Caucasian man.The man is also very white, his hair is golden in the sun, his penis is soft and curved, like a whole garlic sausage sold in Aozhiguang Supermarket, placed between Liu Qing's buttocks, from a distance, it looks like Liu Qing's body tail. I threw the house keys on the floor, I closed the door behind my back, I ran down the stairs, out of the apartment, I threw the Motorola Han pager into the Landmark River. Thinking about the past three days, I sat in Santiao, Dongdan, on the hottest night in the summer of 1997 in Beijing, and I felt cold. After eleven o'clock in the evening, Xiaohong came in with a large medical book and a water glass. She was wearing the famous printed pantyhose, black bottom, mesh, dark red peony flowers, and the famous long shirt on top, silk. Texture, leopard skin pattern, the skin, flesh and bones inside are faintly visible.Still fragrant, strong fragrance. I nodded and didn't open my mouth to ask why I didn't read in Xiaobai's air-conditioned hotel room and came here to sweat. Xiaohong stopped at the seat directly in front of me, put the medical book and water glass on the table, and before she sat down, she turned around and looked at me, and asked, "What's wrong? I've never seen you like this before. You look so ugly, you're so pitiful." "It's okay. It's just annoying. Why didn't you stay in the hotel with Xiaobai? It's so hot." "He has been sleeping wildly, and I want to read a book by myself. Did you write an article about playing games online, and you want to publish it in the name of two people?" "Yes, I wrote an article called "Building a Personal Game Network". "Popular Software" is scheduled to be published in the next issue. The editor said that this is the first article about this matter, and it belongs to me and Xiaobai. After all Xiaobai and I did some network settings and game trials together." "Xiaobai has been going to the newsstand every day to see if the new issue of "Popular Software" has come. I can't tell the date. He said that magazines usually set the publication date in advance and hit the streets a week in advance." "At that time, the magazine society will send three copies, so you don't have to pay for them yourself." "He is willing, you know him, who can stop him?" Xiaohong turned around, tied her hair into a ponytail with a rubber band, touched the braid with one hand, the braid was really black, and flipped through the book in front of her with the other hand, the English "Board Exam Exercises Internal Medicine Volume". Within five minutes, Xiaohong turned around and said, "No, you have something to do. My heart hurts. I can't read a word. Let's go out and chat." Xiaohong was in front, and I was behind. We walked to the east side of the fourth floor. We didn't say a word. The light only vaguely stained the corner of the corridor, and I couldn't see Xiaohong's face.We approached a door in the middle. To the left of the door was a huge refrigerator with a chain lock. The pathological specimens have not been moved for a long time, and half a centimeter of dust has been deposited on the top covers of all glass dishes, and the formalin solution inside is yellow-green and turbid. As soon as I moved my hand, Xiaohong's person was in my arms, she was shaking constantly: "I'm cold." I hugged Xiaohong tightly, rubbing my face against the roots of her hair, and my lips were next to her ear: "It's okay. Everything will be fine." She was still trembling. "Nothing is going to be okay, the beginning is wrong, and everything after that is not going to be okay." I put my hands into the hair on the back of Xiaohong's head, and held up Xiaohong's face, as if in the desert, on a moonless night, I held up a bag full of spring water, and my black hair was dripping water seeping from the water bag beads.My lips are my other pair of little hands. They unscrew the opening of the water bladder. I kiss Xiaohong's mouth. They are sucking the spring water inside. I see my eyes on the water.Have you been eating salty for a while?This water can never be drunk, this water can never be drunk enough, this water can never be drunk.Xiaohong gradually softened and became fluid. She broke away from my embrace, sighed a long time, squatted down, flowed down, opened my trouser chain, took out my penis with one hand, and tore off the rubber band that tied my hair with the other. .My hands are on the top of Xiaohong's head, stroking Xiaohong's hair up and down, this is the smoothest thing I have ever touched, if my biceps do not exert strength, my hands will not be able to stay, they will follow Xiaohong's hair The hair slides all the way down to the end of gravity.My nose is buried in Red's hair, the most swollen smell I've ever smelled, and my hands make a tent to block out the incoming whiffs of rat feed and formalin , the tip of my nose moved slowly along Xiaohong's hairline in the tent, and then slowly retreated.I would trade with the devil if I could always remember this slippery touch, I would forget all eight years of learning about medicine and biology and chemistry and math and physics, if I could always remember this smell that made me swell , I am willing to forget all the Tang poems and Song poems and English novels and quotations from Chairman Mao that I remembered when I was young.Let me be a bottle of Arctic Ocean soda and my dick a straw.Can she drink my water?Have you had enough?Is it dry?The moment I was sucked out, Xiaohong swallowed three mouthfuls in a row.I was trembling and wanted to help Xiaohong up, but Xiaohong shook her head, tears streaming down her face, and said, "Let me suck for a while longer".This "Let me suck for a while longer" broke me completely, God, you are stupid, you are asshole, you are bullshit. "If you could choose, who would you marry?" After a long time, I asked. "Ask now?" "Ok." "Want to hear the truth?" "Ok." "Xiaobai. I still want a real, long-term and stable life." "I'll go and tell Xiaobai, I cheated on you, if you dare, stab me." "I picked you up. I'll go and tell him that something is wrong with me." After daybreak, I went home and borrowed 500 yuan from my brother. I have never borrowed so much money from him. My brother didn't ask me what I was doing, and ordered me five red one hundred yuan.I said, don't go to Ganmian Hutong recently.My brother said, well, he didn't want to go to that room in the first place. I went to Aozhiguang Supermarket and bought two boxes of instant noodles, one box of Kangshifu braised beef flavor, one box of Nissin seafood flavor, one box of Orion Pie, two dozen red eggs, two dozen condoms, two dozen navel oranges, and one box Wahaha mineral water, two boxes of Yanjing beer, and one box of Red Star Xiaoerguotou.I called a noodle driver and took all of them to Ganmian Hutong, which piled up like a small hill for half a room. In the next two weeks, Xiaohong and I spent all the free time in the north room of Ganmian Hutong.I counted, a total of fourteen nights.The big bed in the room was like a huge fish tank, and we took off all our clothes.When we were hungry, we ate the supplies bought by Aozhiguang, and when we were not hungry, we sucked on each other.The hills of supplies slowly turned into plains, Xiaohong said, instant noodles are so good, people who can't cook will not starve to death, let me just drink Erguotou with you?She took half a mouthful of Erguotou and sucked my penis.Xiaohong said, Erguotou is really good, let us float up like balloons.When we were sleepy, we covered each other, and my penis was inserted into Xiaohong's body to sleep. When we were not sleepy, we smelled and touched each other. I tried to remember the smell of the wind in all the holes of Xiaohong and the elasticity of every inch of her body.I said, my physical strength is too weak to do seven times in one night, Xiaohong said, I would rather have yours once, once for one night, once for a lifetime, once for a lifetime.Xiaohong fell asleep after orgasm, no matter it was day or night, every time she woke up, her face was full of tears. She said she dreamed of orgasm again, and when it came, she cried loudly in her dream.Upon waking up, little red hand's first move was to grab my dick as if it were the shift lever of her car, the mast of her sailboat, the log of her life, her last straw.Xiaohong said, if I don't hold it, it will disappear tomorrow.Xiaohong swallowed it all, as if she would never spit it out again, her long black hair was rippling on my chest and lower abdomen, my body sank to the bottom of the deep black lake, my hands stroked her long hair, Swing the oars.I want to abandon myself, I want to dissolve in her body, if we melt into one body, the world will be beautiful, there will be no distinction between right and wrong, beauty and ugliness, good and evil, and there will be no need for reason and knowledge and tomorrow .I must have been killed by Xiaohong in my previous life, I must have been boiled into meat sauce with Xiaohong in my previous life, my penis is a dagger, then you stab her, stab her to death, my penis is a bird, Then you just fly and disappear into Xiaohong's dense forest.At the highest point, the bed was full of flames, and I saw the big star fall from the only window. I ran to the faucet and quickly took a basin of cold water, and poured it all on the penis between my legs, bursts of water Fog rose into the sky. My lower body was completely cold, and the penis was completely retracted into the abdominal cavity. Before it died, it gave me an ugly and desperate look. I shouted at the fire on the bed: I gave you my best cunt, and such a cunt will never be seen again. !