Chapter 17 Chapter Seventeen: Three Tortures, Seven Solids

On the second day after drinking, I went to "Clinical Epidemiology" in the afternoon, in classroom 210 of the hospital. The medical alcohol was too high, and the reaction on me was weird.To sum it up in two words, delay. For example, ejaculation time delay, for example, drunk uncomfortable time delay.In the morning, nothing was out of the ordinary except for the staring eyes and the stiff smile on the face.At noon, hot lead water began to be poured into the brain, milliliter by milliliter, and the razor began to be turned from the innermost part of the brain to the outside, half millimeter and half millimeter.In the past, Lingchi also had a visible knife and a visible executioner who cut at a certain rhythm, cutting from the outside to the inside.Now it is an invisible automatic knife, turning from the inside out with an unpredictable rhythm.

I ate too much pagoda candy to fight roundworms in kindergarten. It’s sweeter than granulated sugar. When I defecated, I saw the corpses of roundworms falling with the feces. They are white. I guess they rarely see the sun, and they are still swaying. I don’t know if it’s the wind. Still worms.The auntie in the kindergarten asked us to report the numbers drawn out to her. She added and subtracted two or three digits on a piece of straw paper, and wrote it down in the work summary after summarizing, saying, the motherland is great, long live Chairman Mao, we work hard to help the class Thirty flowers in the motherland got rid of 125 class roundworms. Gone are the days when flowers were poisoned by class roundworms!The first argument, I totally agree with.One hundred and twenty-five class roundworms were counted one by one by the thirty of us who bent our necks and picked apart the penis with our left hands.The second argument, there is no logical basis, how do I know that the class worms in my stomach have been killed.It turned out later that the class roundworms are very tenacious, and they are still there. They once burrowed into the biliary tract, which made me almost die of pain, and also made me take morphine for the first time.Morphine is a good thing, fat like my mother, foolish like religion.Could it be that the class roundworm was startled by the catty of medical alcohol this time, and played his life to drill into his brain?

I ran to the toilet and vomited out all the braised tofu and three taels of rice I ate at noon. I went to the basement to find the master chef in the cafeteria and begged for a large lunch box of leftover rice porridge at noon.After drinking in the cold, I fell asleep in a daze. The alarm rang, and it was already one fifty. When I arrived in classroom 210, Professor Yao Da was in a neat suit, with extremely white hair and a stern face, looking at his watch and waiting at the door. Xin Ninggui looked at me with a smile and pointed to the two seats next to the slide projector. In the entire classroom, only these two seats were left empty.

Xin Ning and I have discussed three times and determined the three major torture methods in Renhe Medical University. In the first torture, Xiaohong undressed.This is pure imagination, but both Xin Ni and I think it is very cruel: Let a man eat and drink enough, lock him in a very warm room, his hands are tied behind his back, he can’t touch his penis, his legs are tied Died on the radiator, unable to move half a step, and then, Xiaohong undressed in front of him.I said, how strange the world is, this kind of torture when young is used on veteran cadres as a means of psychological treatment, once a week, to reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease.Xin Ning said that even though he was tortured when he was young, if he had the opportunity, he still wanted to try it before the age of forty, just as he wanted to try it after the age of seventy even though he knew that most central nervous system drugs are addictive. Marijuana, try cocaine.I said, let’s ask Xiaohong today if he would like to be sentenced to death. When you are forty, Xiaohong will also be forty, so you probably won’t be ashamed to grow your hair long.

In the second torture, the four ugly girls attend class.Renhe Medical University has four great female professors, all of whom are absolute authorities in their respective fields, all of whom despise men, all use estrogen supplement therapy, all ignore personal life, and all can scare people in the streets at night.The only fourth ugly girl who got married, she also left when the hospital allocated houses last time.The fourth child and her husband are both hospital professors, because they are a family, the hospital considers it uniformly, and the male is the head of the household in the household registration book, so they are allocated four rooms and two halls very close to the hospital in the name of the male.The female professor quit and said, first, I am an academician of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and the Chinese Academy of Engineering, and he is only an academician of the Chinese Academy of Engineering, so I should be the main one and write my name.Second, four rooms and two halls are just the configuration that an academician deserves.The hospital said, you are not a family.The next day, the female professor brought the divorce certificate.

During class, they scan the classroom with their eyes, always catching the worst students. "Tell me, how big is the uterus?" Big Chicken revealed that the ugly second child who had never been married once asked us a senior brother of eighth or sixth grade. "It's so big." The senior brother compared his hands to the size of a pear. "How old is it?" The second child's two eyeballs rolled around, but it didn't affect the two eyeballs, and he still stared at Senior Brother Baliu. "It's so big." The senior brother compared his hands to the size of an apple.

"How old is it?" The second child looked straight at Senior Brother Baliu and asked the same question for the third time. "It's so big." The senior brother compared his hands to the size of a watermelon. "Please sit down." The second child said.After class, the second child wrote a written suggestion, suggesting that the school let the 86th brother repeat the grade for one year.There are three reasons. First, lack of basic scientific habits.After being asked the question, I didn't immediately clarify whether it was a normal woman's uterus or the uterus of the first trimester after conception or the uterus of the second trimester after conception.Second, lack of basic scientific training.

Don't use scientific concepts such as length, width, thickness, centimeters, etc., insist on drawing melons, fruits, pears, and peaches like a Chinese medicine beetle.Third, lack of basic scientific personality.A question, because I asked it three times and gave three completely different answers, I have no position, no self-confidence, and I will inevitably become a scientific liar, a broker, and a traitor in the future.Brother Baliu suddenly disappeared in the third month after being repeated. It was rumored that after being demoted, he was humiliated and went to Australia. He worked as a chef in a Chinese restaurant in Melbourne, and a steamed fish was shown on local TV.The second child felt guilty, so when he went to Australia to give lectures, he asked someone to invite Brother Baliu to have a meal, trying to persuade him to cheer up and return to the medical university to complete his studies.Brother Baliu came to Sydney with a Mercedes-Benz convertible sports car. He treated his second child to the best Western food in Australia and drank Penfolds Grange from 1991. He said that he was going to Sydney Medical School and graduated next year. He said that he missed Beijing and dreamed continuously In the English-style villa at No. 59, Ministry of Foreign Affairs Street, I helped the elders weed the grass.The second child has half a mouthful of Penfolds Grange from the New World. His mouth seems to be soaked in water for a long time. Various beautiful spaces and plant flavors are restored in this half mouthful of liquid. It reminds me of the French wine I often drank fifty years ago. , Thinking of the domestic dry red that is like swill now, I didn’t mention the fact that I went back to Renhe Medical University and said, do you know, the English-style villa at No. 59 Foreign Affairs Street, fifty years ago, one professor lived in one, and now there are ten households. People live in one.

The second child also gave us lessons. There is a huge diamond ring on the middle finger of her right hand. She is old and swollen. She habitually uses her thumb to move the diamond ring. Down, it's very eye-catching.Xiaohong said at the time, look at Qiushui, a woman can have a two-carat diamond ring without going to bed, you have to respect women more, the world is much wider than you imagined.At that time, I nodded in agreement.A few years later, I received a call from Xiaohong, saying that she had just bought a big diamond ring for herself at the Tiffany head office at Fifth Avenue and Fifty-seventh Street in New York, and put it on her middle finger. The diamond was so big that the entire middle finger was covered. Cover it, it’s so bright, you don’t need to turn on the light when you go to the toilet at night, the flesh on the middle finger is still full, and you can’t turn the ring around on the joints like the second professor.I said on the phone, happy?Xiaohong said, Qiushui, I fucked your mother, my whole life was ruined by you, I sat on the curb of 110th Street, I wanted to cry.

In the third torture, slides were shown in classroom 210. Classroom 210 is very warm, and patients are afraid of the cold. The heating in the hospital starts in early October and stops at the end of April. It is very dark. There are three layers of curtains, which are very comfortable. There are sofa chairs in the front row.Therefore, the slide projector is placed in the middle of the third row, and no one wants to sit next to the slide projector. Sitting there, they need to be responsible for pressing the button according to the professor's instructions, flipping to the next slide, and falling asleep if they feel sleepy again.

"Student, I'm two minutes late." Professor Yao Da said. "The last time the Minister of Health came to give a lecture, he was five minutes late." Hopu interrupted. As usual, he sat in the first row with his notebook spread out and his ballpoint pen held firmly, making all preparations for listening to the lecture seriously.Professor Yao Da ignored him, but his face seemed to look better. "I'm sorry." I sat on the right hand of the slide projector, and the seat on the left was still vacant. Professor Yao Da began to slowly talk about how John Snow used charts to describe the characteristics of cholera epidemic one hundred and fifty years ago, and marked the dead, sick, and drinking places on the map, so he judged that drinking water was closely related to cholera, and closed the Two wells on Broad Street were flooded, saving hundreds of lives.The classroom was warm, dark and comfortable. The dense blackness covered me like a big quilt, covered my head, and I vaguely saw the people who had cholera in London in 1854. The hand pressing the slide projector became mechanical, and the eyelids began to fall under the force of gravity.Mom, why don't those class worms who were stunned by the medical alcohol crawl out now and continue to delay me from the inside out?I try to think of the things that excite me the most. I also want to benefit mankind like John Snow. I want to write a pornographic book, not too long, 30,000 to 50,000 words, no illustrations, I worship imagination. A real, beautiful, and kind pornographic book, it should be as real as every man’s brain stem taking off his underwear, it should be as beautiful as the filaments spreading the anthers on the stigma of the pistil, it should be as kind as if you are hungry to eat and eat again .The pornographic jokes in it are all added later, as if you forcibly took off your gloves and put condoms on five fingers, and each joke is not connected.What's more, the adaptor is still a blowjob fanatic. When it comes to blowjobs, he can't hold his pen. The line drawings are immediately changed to heavy colors, and often accompanied by a doggerel. "Meat Futon" is too uncreative. It uses the monk's bald head to teach the glans, and by teaching the glans, it expands the "Su Nu Jing" twenty-fold in a very simple way.If these 30,000 to 50,000 characters are written high, it will benefit mankind, like John Snow, like hybrid rice, and like broad-spectrum antibiotics.In the imagination, this idea is like a seed, growing slowly, and the outline of the story is winding and climbing like a vine, God, create, protect, destroy. It suddenly occurred to me that in the process of weaving the story line, I had long since lost sight of Teacher Yao and his cholera dead crowd.I realized in my dream that I fell asleep, and I knew that when I woke up, I would hear Xin Ni and Hopu laughing wildly, see Professor Yao's livid face, and see the middle finger of my left hand rising and falling on the lower left side of my body , according to the rhythm of my brain before falling asleep, pressing the button of the slide projector. I opened my eyes. Classroom 210 was still dark, warm and comfortable. The comrades were very quiet. Professor Yao Lao was already introducing the research methods of "Epidemiology". "Sampling should be done carefully, very carefully. For example, if you choose one of the residents in several alleys to investigate iodine-induced thyroid hyperplasia, you should select all the residents with odd-numbered houses, right?" "No." Hopu continued. "Why not?" "Because the odd number of residents live on one side of the hutong and the even number of residents live on the other side of the hutong, such a sampling cannot represent the whole." "Very good." Under Professor Yao's praise, in the corner of the slide projector, I saw Hopu's forehead and eyes shining at the same time. Xiaohong, who used to be sitting next to Xiaobai, is now sitting on the left side of the slide projector, with her right middle finger controlling the slide projector, her eyes fixed on Professor Yao Da.Realizing that I was looking at her after waking up, Xiaohong turned her face and smiled at me. In the darkness, her face was still bright.Xiao Bai has been hiding in the corner of the penultimate row, sleeping wildly. After class, Xin Ni took Xiaobai to the hotel room to go online to order flowers. His demon knife girlfriend had a car accident in the United States three days ago, and Xin Ni must express his greatest concern. Yaodao is using her inherent madness to apply to business schools recently. All the professors from Harvard Business School, MIT and Wharton Business School have received multiple emails from Yaodao within a month, and each letter highly praised this professor. The outstanding achievements in the field of management, the introduction of the background and ability that I did not choose, and the explanation of why I can add to the career of the professor, and finally I asked for a face-to-face meeting or a phone conversation.Yaodao said to Xin Ni, when you go to Harvard Medical School next year, I will definitely go to Harvard or MIT Business School to study, and I will not give you a chance to provoke other girls in the United States.Xin Ni said, great, now I won't give myself any chance to provoke other girls in Beijing. Yaodao asked, if you don't provoke girls, how do you solve your physical problems?Xin Ni said, I rubbed against the big tree, and when I was about to come, I ran through the photos you sent me one by one in my mind.Yaodao said, why are you so full of perverted and excess carnal desires?Rubbing the big tree, I believe.Two weeks ago, I went to Xin Ni's house, and the jujube trees in other places hadn't bloomed yet, and the jujube trees in their yard were all bearing small dates.I don't believe the photo of the demon knife in my mind to the climax, what a perverted and excessive imagination it must be. It rained lightly in Los Angeles three days ago, and the ground was just wet. When the car was most likely to skid, Yaodao braked and hit the car in front. It turned out that the driver behind Yaodao had just taken medicine and stepped on the accelerator to brake.Yaodao was knocked out of the driveway and passed out at that time. It is said that three ribs were broken, the nasal bone was broken, and his face was bruised.The car behind her turned over by itself, and the driver died on the spot. The forensic doctor said that he should not have any pain during the whole process and was very happy.Xin Ni discussed with us how to express condolences, and I said, write a poem about how you worry about her.Xin Ning said, she grew up memorizing Tang poems, do you think I can write Li Bai better?Xiaobai said, give her a call, call her for a few more minutes, and spend all 200 yuan to comfort her. Xin Ni said, this is reliable.Xin Ni said that Yaodao still likes flowers, she likes the kind of perishable beauty, short eternity, across the thousands of miles of sea, she must be ecstatic when she sees the flowers he sent. Xiaobai proposed that it is convenient to order flowers online. First, find a cheap and good florist, place the order online, provide his credit card number, and Xin Ni will pay him back the RMB at the rate set by the People's Bank of China. To thank Xiaohong for helping me press the slide projector, I invited Xiaohong to drink Arctic Ocean soda.The canteen selling soda was set up between several buildings. Several patients in long-patterned hospital gowns had dull eyes. They also bought yogurt and soda, and stood around the canteen to drink. Shaking at the same time makes one wonder if they have all practiced hand-shaking therapy before.Not far away, someone set up a net to play badminton. They looked like two young nurses and two young doctor trainees, shouting loudly while playing. They didn't look like bears at all when they followed the old head nurse or the old professor in the ward rounds.There were also a few young male doctors standing on the edge of the field watching. The weather was hot, and those with strong firepower had already put on shorts and white coats, unbuttoned. Leaning her back against the wall, Xiao Hong sipped her Arctic Ocean soda, stared at those people playing badminton, and said, "When you sleep, your eyes are open, and Old Professor Yao didn't notice it at all." "Really?" "Really. I have noticed that you often fall asleep in the car, and your eyes are half-closed, so I found that the rhythm of your slides and the professor's instructions were a little out of touch. I took advantage of him writing on the blackboard while his back was facing us. , slipped beside you." The sun was already very low, and more than half of it had sunk below the top of the west building. The golden-red light was blocked by the green glazed tiles, splashing in all directions, falling on the young pink face of the badminton player, and falling on Xiaohong's whole body. .Xiaohong's thick hair turned golden green, and the ends of her hair scattered around her shoulder blades turned transparent golden yellow, like optical fiber, glass, and crystal.Under the normal light, Xiao Hong's thick eyebrows and big eyes with clear edges and corners were wetted by the heavy light splashed down, as if she had just been wiped half-dry with a towel after taking a bath, and she looked rare and soft. "Do you remember, once in University B, downstairs of the Fourth Teaching, seven or eight of us played volleyball. After the others dispersed, I asked you if you were thirsty. You said, thirsty, and I invited you to the one west of the Fourth Teaching Drinking soda in a small shop. It was also in the evening, and there was similar sunlight. I thought at the time, you look good. You just finished exercising, and your body and face are steaming and red." I said to Xiaohong, but I didn't look at Xiaohong. , I stared at the little nurse bouncing around and playing badminton, with steaming chest. "Why didn't you say that?" "I thought Brother Beast was awesome." "I always think your girlfriend is also pretty good." "Is Xiaobai okay? Are you okay? It's been a long time since we had dinner together." "He's fine. I'm fine too, and Xiaobai is fine too." "Is your birthday coming soon? What birthday gift do you want?" "Can you give me what you want?" "That's right. The good-looking things on the street recently, the things that are worthy of you, often cost me half a year's food expenses. But you mention it, Xin Ni and I can slowly get together. I do some odd jobs outside, and he also pays for it." Help people translate." "I don't want the ones on the street, save it, save it and eat more meat, it's as thin as a bamboo pole, and Xin Nie also save it, and buy more flowers for Yaodao." "Did Xiaobai deliver it?" "sent." "Xiaobai actually has a big idea, and he didn't discuss it with us." "He always discusses with you when he picks up girls." "What did Xiao Bai send, can I ask?" "Yes, you just gave it to me, you can see for yourself." Xiaohong took out a brocade box with the wrapping paper removed from her schoolbag and handed it to me. "Can it be opened?" "can." The brocade box has two rows, four layers, and eight small drawers. "Can it be opened?" "can." I opened them one by one, and I basically understood that the eight drawers contained Xiaobai's seven solids and a birthday card.The seven kinds of solids are all wrapped in small transparent plastic bags. According to my basic judgment, from top to bottom are: hair, eyelashes, cerumen, wisdom teeth, pubic hair, and nails. In the last drawer, a piece of flesh was soaked in a small glass bottle, which smelled faintly of formalin, and it was also wrapped in a small plastic bag. "Appendix or foreskin?" I asked in a low voice. "He said it was a foreskin." Xiaohong replied.Xiao Hong drank all her soda, one leg was bearing the weight, the other leg was bent against the wall, and she was playing with a straw in her teeth.I didn’t open the birthday card, Xiaohong said: “You can read it if you want, what secrets can I have? It’s very simple and realistic, saying that I am his everything, life, career, body, and spirit.” I said: “ It’s great, just like the earth revolves around the sun, with the same world outlook and outlook on life, life is much simpler.” The sun had completely sunk below the top of the western building, and the light, heat, and transparency disappeared in an instant, and the surroundings suddenly darkened.I asked Xiaohong: "Do you want another bottle of soda? Or drink yogurt? " "Stop drinking, it's almost time for dinner, I'm going back to Xiaobai's place, I flashed." I said, "Okay. I happened to help Xin Yi choose flowers for Yaodao online. Don't buy chrysanthemums."