Chapter 37 Chapter Thirty-Seven

Although Liu Yun still remembered how she left Wu Gang angrily last time, she still couldn't hide her joy at seeing Wu Gang again.Once she started talking, she had a lot to say.She told Wu Gang what had happened in the ward recently, especially the new patient Luoyang, and she felt that Wu Gang should also be interested in such a person. "Can you imagine the current students? Their attitude towards teachers is really different from ours at that time. We didn't seem to understand these things at that time. It seemed that there was nothing else except to be obedient and study hard." Liu Yun said.

Wu Gang tilted his head and smiled at Liu Yun, expressing his sympathy. On the other hand, he obviously felt that Liu Yun's mood was much lighter.He even thought about whether she had met the man he liked. "Hou Bo was called by his nephew, and he was begging Hou Bo to cure his teacher's illness. Hou Bo told me that he had never seen a middle school student begging him like that. He said that if his sister or It's my brother-in-law who is sick, maybe the child won't be in such a hurry." "What kind of person is this teacher?" Wu Gang was also aroused by Liu Yun's narration.

"He's a very nice young man. He makes people feel kind at first glance." Liu Yun replied without thinking, and then found that Wu Gang glanced at her, and immediately felt that he was blushing. "If only this one child is like this, it is understandable. The key is that when Hou Bo was leaving after eating, a group of students came, both boys and girls, and they were begging for another meal. At first, Hou Bo thought that the teacher was a Lei Feng-style teacher. He is kind to students and serious about his work, but when he asked the students, he found out that this is not the case. One student said that there are plenty of good teachers, but not many teachers who can be our friends."

"There are not many people who can be friends, let alone teachers." Wu Gang said. "That's right, what surprised me even more," Liu Yun stopped here, she looked at Wu Gang, "You don't seem to like to hear these things, I..." "Where, I really want to finish listening, I'm always not good at using expressions." "Can I use facial expressions?" Liu Yun asked with a smile, "None of us are actors, so why use facial expressions?" "No, what I mean is that the expression on my face often gives people the illusion that I'm cold, but in fact they all have the same heart." Wu Gang found himself starting to explain himself, and immediately shut up.

"You have the same heart as me?" Liu Yun said jokingly, it seemed that Hou Bo's encouragement was still motivating her. "No, I, I..." Wu Gang hid himself back again, "You'd better finish what you said just now, lest you have to attack me again later." Wu Gang tried his best to keep himself normal, even though he was about to tell The news of Liu Yun weighed heavily on him. "Yes, I'd better finish the story. What happened next really surprised me." Liu Yun spoke again enthusiastically, "Hou Bo rode home alone after leaving his sister's house. He didn't ride very far. I heard a woman calling him Doctor Hou from behind, and told him to wait a moment. The girl riding over was a girl who introduced herself as a classmate of Hou Bo’s nephew, and she was at Hou Bo’s sister’s house just now. But Hou Bo told me, He can't remember the girl."

"Later?" Wu Gang suddenly became more interested. "She said to Hou Bo, please don't laugh at me. If I ask you to cure my teacher in private again, I may have a different reason from other students." "What reason?" Wu Gang seemed to be asking for Hou Bo. "She said she loved the teacher. She looked at Hou Bo, and before he could speak, she told her state. She said, please don't think of me as that kind of girl. I know this love will never happen Any result, because I am not the teacher's favorite girl. But I can't stop loving him because of this. I study hard to get into college, all for Teacher Luo. If I didn't meet Teacher Luo, I wouldn't be able to go to college, Because I have always hated studying. If something bad happens to Teacher Luo, I really don’t know if I can control myself. I think my parents gave birth to me for Teacher Luo.” Liu Yun relayed the story here, and his emotions melted into the narrative.The love of an ordinary girl infected Liu Yun. "Later, the girl noticed that Hou Bo was looking at him worriedly, so she said, don't worry about me, I've already told you, I understand everything, but I just love the teacher. Maybe it's because I love him and he doesn't love me, I will never do anything, and I will never bother him with my feelings. If I am admitted to college, I will use all my savings to buy a gift for the teacher. She said she has about three thousand yuan."

"My God, the times are really different." Wu Gang sighed. "And her parents also knew about it, but they couldn't interfere because nothing happened." Liu Yun finally added. Afterwards, neither Liu Yun nor Wu Gang spoke any more, and they had already reached Bar Street without knowing it.Wu Gang asked Liu Yun if he wanted to go in for a drink, and Liu Yun said maybe another day would be better.Wu Gang didn't object, but he was thinking in his heart that that day should not be too far away from now. He didn't know when the bar would no longer belong to him.They continued walking along the outer wall of the park.Already far away from the city center, this place is a little quieter, and occasionally pedestrians pass by them.They didn't go far, and they turned into another small street along the outer wall of the park. Both of them overcame their initial uneasiness, and neither of them tried hard to find a topic.The new security and tacit understanding established through the conversation just now pulled the two of them back.They let go of their respective concerns and put themselves into the current situation: they were colleagues for many years, and they may have known each other's concern for them for many years; because they kept such a distance, they didn't know each other; Under the distance, they are restrained and polite. They are attracted to each other because of the differences of the opposite sex, but neither of them looks too much at the pleasure of the body; time passes slowly, but they are not alienated or intimate. , what implicates them may be such a kind of warmth and care...

They are like two men who have plowed for a long time and only today reaped their fruit for the first time.They walked together slowly, feeling comfortable and calm, like a husband and wife who have been married for many years and understand each other, like friends who have gone through wind and rain together. They are so bewildered by this belated "harvest" that no one wants to break it.But Wu Gang still stopped unconsciously. He took two steps back and stopped before a beggar sitting at the foot of a park wall.He is an old man with a dilapidated aluminum lunch box in front of him.Wu Gang put ten yuan into his lunch box, the old man lowered his head even lower, and kept away, thanking him twice.

"Old man, what's the matter with you?" Wu Gang was afraid that the old man would have more difficulties, so he asked. "Sir, you are a good man," the old man said with his head still turned away. "Give me so much money, and I will never forget you." "It's nothing, just forget about it, who doesn't have a problem." Wu Gang was about to leave after speaking, when the old man turned his face away, a few drops of old tears flowed slowly down his face. "I'm really ashamed. I've been upright all my life. I didn't expect that when I get old, I've lived my whole life in vain."

Wu Gang took out another 50 yuan and was about to put it in the old man's lunch box when the old man stopped him desperately. "Sir, you misunderstood. I don't want to ask you for money anymore. You give too much. No one has ever given me so much. Sir, you gave too much, which caused me to talk so much. I'm confused, I didn't mean that..." Wu Gang squatted down, holding the money in his hand, he asked: "What happened?" "The children don't care for the elderly." The old man held back his tears and said, "If I didn't have a wife, I would have gone another way. But my wife is still at home, my daughter-in-law scolds me every day, and my son can't manage the family. I can't help it. Come out alone and try it out, and then pick up your wife when you have something to do, it looks the same everywhere now."

"Tonight, you walk along the wall of the park, turn to the other side of the park, and ask people to find me. My name is Wu Gang. I have a friend who runs a paint store and wants to find a replacement. I see you can do it. " After finishing speaking, Wu Gang took out a business card and handed it to the old man together with fifty yuan. The old man was stunned, and suddenly gave Wu Gang a kowtow.Wu Gang walked away. Liu Yun, who had been watching from the side, was already in tears.She caught up with Wu Gang, and the two walked forward for a while. "Do you treat every beggar like this?" Liu Yun asked. "He is not a beggar." Wu Gang said. Liu Yun looked at Wu Gang puzzled. "I never give money to beggars, I can't explain why, I don't like it. But when I first saw this old man, I felt so bad that he was doing beggar things, but he had such shame on his face, as if he hated himself for being so Shit. That's what people do at the end of the road, I can't stand it, he's trying to keep his dignity to this point. His face, my God, has a little more self-respect than a lot of people who aren't beggars. " Liu Yun stood still. For the first time, she bravely met Wu Gang's gaze. If she had been younger, if she had had more strength, she would have told Wu Gang the love that seemed to have just been completed in her heart.In the end she said nothing, and the two continued walking again.But their gaze for a few seconds has written a heavy stroke in their respective lives, so that it was so difficult for Wu Gang to finally express his decision to leave.He said he decided to sell the bar and go to Shenzhen to start a company with a friend.And Liu Yun didn't expect that she would react like this. After Wu Gang left her, she felt empty again, even though they agreed to meet again. That afternoon, the sky had been gloomy and overcast, and large swaths of dark clouds remained in the sky silently, with no intention of dispersing.There was no wind, and the air seemed to be filled with pressure, making it sometimes feel like a few deep breaths were needed.Looking at the weather like this, everyone felt that a heavy rain was coming soon, but it didn't rain until evening, and everyone even hoped for a heavy rain.Maybe it's better to have a heavy rain than to be so gloomy. On the way to Geng Lin's residence, Lou Hong was very satisfied with the weather, as if it was specially arranged by God for her current mood.But when she walked to the gate of the big courtyard, she saw that the flower pond where a group of old ladies used to sit was empty, and there was no one there.She walked across the yard towards the door of the building, feeling somewhat lost.Walking carefully and nonchalantly from under the eyes of those old ladies turned out to be part of the relationship between her and Geng Lin.Lou Hong went upstairs while thinking, and many of the things she had already thought about to say to Geng Lin were a little vague again. Standing in front of the door, Lou Hong was thinking about whether she should use the key to open the door or ring the bell.Maybe this will be the last time she will use this key, when the door opened, Geng Lin stood by the door, smiling nervously at Lou Hong. Lou Hong also smiled at Geng Lin, and walked in.Geng Lin could still distinguish her footsteps, which caused a few small waves in Lou Hong's heart. They walked into the room one by one, Lou Hong didn't sit down immediately, turned around to look at Geng Lin standing by the door, both of them smiled awkwardly.When Lou Hong scanned the room just now, she found that Geng Lin had bought a new bed cover. "New one?" Lou Hong asked knowingly, looking for something to say.Geng Lin nodded. "In that store?" Lou Hong and Geng Lin had seen this embroidered bedspread in a store.Lou Hong said that she would buy this bed cover and put it on the wedding bed.But she didn't expect Geng Lin to buy back the bed cover at this time, when their relationship became delicate and fragile. "The price has been reduced." Geng Lin said. Lou Hong laughed when she heard Geng Lin's words, and Geng Lin also smiled.Then the two men approached the bed and looked at the coverlet together as if it were the only purpose of their meeting. The bedspread is a mix of off-white silk and cotton, embroidered with flowers in the same colour.It looks very solemn, with a subtle luster, showing a luxurious and elegant quality, which is in contrast to Geng Lin's current living room, which is very simple in all aspects. "It doesn't fit here." Lou Hong said, turning to face Geng Lin. "That's right." Geng Lin also met Lou Hong's gaze, hoping that his eyes wouldn't get wet.This was the first time they stared at each other so closely after Lou Hong was injured. Geng Lin felt palpitations, and there were several kinds of huge forces in his body, and they collided with each other, as if they were going to crack or tear him apart.He saw the frivolous look in Lou Hong's eyes, her small but seductive breasts rising and falling, and her small upturned earlobes... All these made Geng Lin wish to put Lou immediately. Hong hugged her.I really want to hug him desperately, kiss her desperately, and melt everything into her body. However, he still stood like that, even though he felt that his legs were already weak.He also saw the scar on Lou Hong's face and neck.Those scars seemed to stretch out countless hands to him, stopping him, warning him, and condemning him.Suddenly, he was shrouded in guilt again. Lou Hong sat in a chair, and she understood all of Geng Lin's expressions.She also had an inner struggle during this short look: whether she should go over and hug him.At this time, two voices sounded in her heart, two opposite voices.She wanted to hug him and comfort him, but she immediately discovered that the voice did not come from her feelings and body, but from some kind of sympathy under the domination of reason and some kind of dependence and habit on the past.She strongly felt that she and her body, her feelings, were all so indifferent, they didn't want to hug this man eagerly at all, but they wouldn't be very disgusted to hug this man either. "How scary, how could he suddenly become indifferent to me?" After sitting down, Lou Hong was taken aback by the thoughts in her heart, even though she was going to have a showdown with Geng Lin when she came. She had made so many mental preparations for the breakup, she thought it would be very painful, even worse than the initial wound on her face. Geng Lin also sat in another chair. Lou Hong saw the calm Geng Lin and thought that his indifference had infected Geng Lin.Could it be that everything they have ever had is false?Can it really just disappear like this without leaving a trace?She smiled at Geng Lin, as if she wanted to prove once again, is everything really so indifferent?Geng Lin responded to her smile with the same smile.His smile didn't help Lou Hong confirm it, nor did it help her deny her feelings.Because Geng Lin had already seen from Lou Hong's face the sign that the moment of breaking up was coming.He also thought about fighting and trying to keep this woman. He still liked her and wanted to sleep with her in his arms for many nights.But he was afraid of the unchangeable determination he saw on Lou Hong's face.Another source of his powerlessness was the woman he had brought home from the bar. "Why don't you hug me and put me on your bed cover? Didn't you buy a new bed cover for me?" Lou Hong said these words suddenly, which surprised even herself, she didn't know what she wanted , there is nothing resembling lust in her body. Geng Lin was also shocked by Lou Hong's sudden words, he thought his previous feeling was wrong.He went to see Lou Hong again, and Lou Hong stared at him, like losing his temper with him before, which made Geng Lin feel palpitations again, just like when he saw Lou Hong just entered the door.He stood up and approached Lou Hong, and squatted down beside her. At this moment, he saw her rejection of him between Lou Hong's brows, and he flinched. He didn't understand why Lou Hong would do this.Geng Lin's heart ached suddenly, so painful that he finally hated himself, and even contempt for himself. He felt that now Lou Hong not only didn't love him and wanted to leave him, but also wanted to laugh at him. Geng Lin mobilized all the tolerance and control that a man can have, tried his best to smile and pat Lou Hong's thigh, stood up without saying anything, and returned to his seat. All this turned into Geng Lin's contempt for her in Lou Hong's eyes, and she felt that Geng Lin would not be like this even for ordinary guests: there was contempt hidden behind the false politeness.At this time, reason is like a breeze away from Lou Hong. She can no longer tell what her body is doing and what her reason is doing. What controls her is anger. The rage that once controlled her and drove her mad. She stood up and rushed to Geng Lin, knelt down into his arms, grabbed his shirt instead of hugging: "Why do you treat me like this? Why do you treat me like this? I was tortured like this because of you. Is this the reward you gave me? If you want to break up, you can tell me clearly, don't insult me ​​like this!" Lou Hong While speaking, he pulled Geng Lin's clothes and shook them. Geng Lin grabbed both of Lou Hong's wrists, trying to calm her down: "You calm down, calm down. Let's go look in the mirror and see who's face is breaking up. As soon as you come in, your face tells me that you are here to finish me, whether I agree or not , No matter how I feel, you are determined to do this." Geng Lin impulsively said what was in his heart. "You fart, Geng Lin!" Lou Hong became even crazier when she heard Geng Lin say this. She forgot all her thoughts during this period of time, and the only thought that could show in her head was: she would not allow Geng Lin to think about her like this. "I wouldn't let you sleep with me if I'd thought that when I walked in the door." "You are still young, and you can find some excuses when facing this kind of thing, and you don't want to be exposed by others. I understand, but you don't have to treat me like a monkey and call me around." The more Geng Lin said, the more sad he became. "I understand, Geng Lin, you want to retreat." Lou Hong said as she shook off Geng Lin's hand, "Why didn't you say that you have another woman!" Although Geng Lin was prepared for this, Lou Hong stabbed him by saying so suddenly.He looked up at Lou Hong, who immediately said: "You don't need to tell me who she is, and you don't need to confess, it has nothing to do with me. Now I can see what Geng Lin is." Geng Lin sat blankly, unable to utter a word, like a shocked audience. "Why don't you talk? Explain to me? Tell me I'm sorry! Tell me that you want to find a wife who is honest and virtuous than me. When you get old and can't move, she will treat you like a nurse." Take shit and pee, take care of you. How beautiful do you think you are, Geng Lin? When will your dream come true?" Geng Lin laughed when he heard this. "Do you think it's funny? Is it me or you? Of course I'm funny, because you don't know Geng Lin yet, and you don't know Geng Lin's image." Looking at Lou Hong, Geng Lin could imagine what she was going to say next, maybe this would be Lou Hong's last harm to him, Geng Lin thought. "Do you want me to help you get to know yourself?" Lou Hong asked Geng Lin provocatively, tilting her head with her arms in her arms.Geng Lin was like a statue, his eyes scattered in the air. "You must think that you are special, different from those other men who are always on the street," Lou Hong said recklessly, venting became the only purpose, "I am in my forties, and I still try to change my life , how amazing!" Geng Lin didn't move, waiting for the sharper words below to be shot at him from Lou Hong's mouth. "But let me tell you, Geng Lin," Lou Hong said more and more out of control, and gradually put on a face of a savage girl for herself, in addition to being self-righteous, "You are no different from them, what changes life , It’s just that Lin Lao grabbed the tail of youth and shook it. Do you think you are the only person who can change your life like you? It’s ridiculous, there are thousands of such men. Not only are you not liberated when you fall in love, but your brain Not liberated, maybe never thought that there are such beautiful things in the world, sleeping with people and not marrying people, so wander around one by one, find a reasonable woman among the women around you, you don’t know anything When we got married, we got a marriage certificate. Then we had children and were busy with our careers. After more than ten years, you realized that our life is different from yours. Do you understand, Geng? Lin? We have a generation gap." Geng Lin didn't expect that what Lou Hong said not only made him quiet, but he also hoped that Lou Hong would continue talking.He also thought about it after Wang Shu's death, but it was a pity that it was nothing. "We can stand on the street and kiss, in broad daylight, in front of thousands of people, can you? No! I have never dreamed of it." Seeing Geng Lin's serious expression, Lou Hong calmed down , but still have to go on.What she wants to say now has changed from cursing Geng Lin to expressing her heart, "After being an audience for a long time, no one is reconciled. Those men who get rich first and succeed first find that their wives are nothing. Attractive, and then found that girls do not only love young men, there are quite a lot of young girls who love old guys in their forties; their wives can justify it, and they secretly date girls; if their wives can’t justify it, they just Using the little girl's love to help divorce, do you think life will be renewed? How many men who marry the little girl are so happy that they can't find their way? They have less time than before to play mahjong, socialize, and money is valued It’s even more deadly. On the other hand, how many little girls think that finding an older guy will find a home? Do you really love you when you are old and let you? Hell, the only thing that old age brings to you is that you You have to admit that they are more cunning than you, and you can't play with them. Isn't that what you are?" Lou Hong suddenly pointed her finger at Geng Lin again, "Can you deny that you are not this kind of person?" Lou Hong said while sitting On the ground, sad again. "You don't need to tell me what kind of woman your new girlfriend is. I know her better than I know her. She is definitely not as good as me in all aspects, and maybe she is a few years older than me. You know how to plan, Geng Lin .For you, I am young, good-looking, sexy, have personality, and my family background is not bad, you think you can’t support me, right? You think I will leave you sooner or later, right? You think you are just an ordinary employee to me, which is not enough to be the basis of our future marriage, so you might as well start first. Anyway, you have divorced most of the marriage through me, you just wait for one day Your wife called you and informed you to go to the street office to go through the formalities. How good it is, your new wife doesn’t have to suffer any harm from your old wife, and she will become a bride on an auspicious day. After marriage, you look at you every day My new wife, although a little mediocre, doesn't remind you of your old wife, and you don't have to feel guilty every day. Because your guilt is taken away by me. The person who hurt your old wife is not your new Wife, but a woman you slept with before, she used to be your colleague, her name is Lou Hong..." Lou Hong couldn't go on talking anymore, she covered her face with her hands and began to cry. Geng Lin didn't go over to comfort Lou Hong immediately, because he hadn't reacted yet.He saw Lou Hong crying very sadly, but he hadn't put everything in place in his mind.Lou Hong's words seemed to have stripped him of his last clothes, and even when he thought of himself alone, his image wasn't so bad.Rather than saying that he was hit by Lou Hong's words, it would be better to say that he was hurt.He felt that Lou Hong didn't take him seriously at all.But, on the other hand, he didn't believe that what Lou Hong said came from her head, and he knew Lou Hong. Lou Hong cried even more sadly. She lay down on the ground and cried loudly.Geng Lin panicked, love overcame other feelings, he gently hugged Lou Hong's head and put it on his lap, wiped her tears and stroked her face. "Where did you hear these theories, and now you are using them to hurt yourself, don't be a fool." Geng Lin hoped to calm things down, anyway, he felt sorry for Lou Hong, and he didn't want to find out. "I didn't hear it," Lou Hong said while sobbing, "I've experienced it all, and I've seen it with my own eyes." Geng Lin picked up Lou Hong and looked at her.Lou Hong said: "Geng Lin, you are just a review for me." Lou Hong tried her last strength to hurt Geng Lin again, but she didn't expect her words to hurt herself first.When she thought of the married man before Geng Lin, she immediately felt infinitely sorry for herself, and her tears burst into tears. Geng Lin hugged Lou Hong tightly into his arms.He knew in his heart that this strength came from his kindness rather than love.Lou Hong's words messed up his understanding of their relationship. Lou Hong cried so helplessly in Geng Lin's arms.Her sympathetic look was like a gentle hand brushing over Geng Lin's already trembling heart again and again.He said to himself again and again, "Maybe I misunderstood, maybe she didn't want to break up, maybe I should try to catch her, try again, anyway, I have nothing left, maybe we can start over." Geng Lin finally hugged Lou Hong even more impulsively, and said incoherently: "Let's try again, I love you, don't leave me, try again, try again, leave that woman alone..." Lou Hong heard this, and suddenly broke away from Geng Lin's embrace: "So there is really a woman?" Lou Hong looked at Geng Lin in amazement, and whispered two words from between her teeth, "Rogue." Geng Lin suddenly felt that everything in his eyes was going away from him.They stopped at a farther place again, but Geng Lin couldn't focus his eyes to see them clearly.He didn't know where his gaze fell, he blurred everything in his vision like a child practicing eye-matching. Many years later, as he recalled the moment, he found himself trying to say "Never mind those women...", but he said "that". "Does it make any difference?", also many years later, he asked himself.To this, he gave a negative answer; at the same time, he seemed to see that huge force, which seemed to be set up to determine his life.