Chapter 10 Nine

Bad luck finds me together. "Sun Yue, I ask your forgiveness! Sun Yue, I ask your forgiveness!" Zhao Zhenhuan's letter disturbed my heart even more. I had expected this day a long time ago, and now it is here.A scarred wound still bleeds because someone has to uncover the scar. I regret that I am going to participate in the garden activities organized by the school, and I am in a hurry to organize things.Her movements create a sense of urgency. "Mom, if Uncle He comes to see me today, just tell him and I'll invite him to come and play next Sunday." Before leaving, she said to me.

"Which Uncle He?" "He Jingfu!" here we go again!Since the last time He Jingfu came to the house, she asked me about "Uncle He" for three or two days.It was this He Jingfu who left me in the office last night and asked me about the details of my divorce from Zhao Zhenhuan.Finally, he said to me: "You shouldn't agree to divorce him. You should think about Huanhuan." Unexpectedly, he said this to me!For the sake of self-esteem, I can't tell him what Zhao Zhenhuan did to me.But he shouldn't blame me like that!Yeah, I shouldn't agree, who told me to agree?

"Forgive!" How lightly you said it, Zhao Zhenhuan!It was at the time of my second strong shock that you pressed me for a divorce. "Even Sun Yue's husband is going to draw a line with her and divorce her!" The whole school spread like this. "Stop", "Stop"!Isn't it funny that this word is associated with Communist Party member Sun Yue?However, this is the truth.Not only do you want to "break" me, but you also insult my personality! "What childhood sweetheart? Don't make up these stories to deceive yourself!" "I can't stand this kind of insult: Xi Liu's concubine! I can't want someone else's concubine!" "You lied to me, you never loved me!" Why are you pestering me! I would rather die than want you!" You write a letter every day, a letter every day!After being a "ghost and snake god" for a day, when I returned home, what accompanied me, except for regrets, was your letter.

"Mom, Dad's letter!" Regret always handed the letter to me happily.I dare not read the letter in front of the child, because the child always asks: "Did Dad ask me? Does Dad want to ring the ring? You write a letter and ask Dad to come!" I read these letters after the child goes to bed. Every word is like a big mouth trying to swallow me up.I also had to make up a trick to trick the kids. "Give me some time, let me talk to him again!" I asked the worker and the military propaganda team. "Don't use personal life issues to divert the general direction of the struggle!" This is the answer.

I asked a few friends to discuss it.Immediately, big-character posters were posted: (Sun Yue is conducting counter-revolutionary associations again!) A colleague who sympathized with me secretly asked me about the situation, and I said so.He got a new charge: creating public opinion, deceiving the masses, and defrauding sympathy. A "divorce letter" was mailed to me, and I was the only one crying secretly! forgive?But who can erase these from my memory? "You shouldn't transfer your suffering to your children. Children feel lonely, you know?" Am I the mother?Do I love my children?How can you, a bachelor, understand that!

On that day, the school workers and the military propaganda team handed over the divorce certificate to me.Not a word of comfort, but gloating.I didn't even look at it, so I put it in my schoolbag.I went to the kindergarten to pick up the child.When I saw the child, tears flowed down my face.The child cried too. "Who bullied mom?" "Does mom miss dad?" From kindergarten to home, the child kept asking, what else could I say besides shaking my head and crying?The law protects the rights of women and children.However, in our divorce certificate, it was ruled that the child should be brought up by the woman, and the man should not be responsible for raising the child.From now on, my daughter is mine alone.I don't know how to raise a child in this situation.I really can't bear such humiliation and blow!I put the child to bed early, and sat alone under the lamp thinking and thinking, how I want to leave this world!I sorted everything out, shredded the photos, and finally sat down with the kids.The sensible child hadn't fallen asleep yet, and kept urging: "Mom, sleep! Huanhuan is scared!"

"Huanhuan! My dear Huanhuan! How will you live if your mother is gone?" I hugged the child, kissed passionately, and cried. The child stretched out his little hand, wiped away my tears, and comforted me, saying, "Is mom going on a business trip? Don't worry! The folks will take care of me." I just watched "The White-haired Girl" yesterday, and learned a vocabulary: "folks", she used it here!smart kid!cute child!Poor boy!I picked her up, stuck her to my chest, and cried all night! For the sake of my children, I have lived strong to this day.Am I willing to transfer suffering to my children?I just want to swallow all the suffering, without leaving a trace!But suffering is not something that is easy to swallow. When the throat is choked and the heart is panicked, a bitter look will naturally appear on the face.It's affecting the kids...you know how many times I've shed tears and blamed myself for it?But you still have to—blame me!It seems that we cannot understand each other.You always think that life is kind to me, but it is especially cruel to you...

This deafening noise!The school dormitory is far away from the urban area, and it is still so noisy.The windows facing the road are either closed or open.Closed, it looks cold.When it is turned on, it is the sound of this kind of noise, the noise that can cause people's nerves to split.Better to close the window and go out.It's a pity that I don't come back for lunch at noon. What am I doing at home alone?Go wherever you want and have a meal. The weather was surprisingly nice.The campus is full of peach blossoms and willows, full of spring.We were all young once, like these flowers that bloom in spring.Like those boys and girls walking among the flowers.The flowers bloom and fall once a year.Few people are old, once in a lifetime.

This is the most remote corner of the campus.Planted shrubs.Low and dense.It's a place to talk about love.Right here, I have feelings for He Jingfu...what kind of feeling is that? From the first meeting, I was attracted to him.He is not as beautiful as Zhao Zhenhuan, but his eyes make all Zhao Zhenhuan's beauty seem dull.His eyes can teach the dullest pupil exactly what is meant by the word "look."It was these eyes that followed me everywhere, like two fires, like two lamps.I can't escape it.But in my heart, I compare him with Zhao Zhenhuan more and more: Zhao Zhenhuan loves me with exaggeration in his enthusiasm, always reminding me: "We are in love." He is deep and natural, making you unconsciously Connect yourself to him.In the reference room, he will hand you a book: "Look at this, it's very good!" You are really attracted, when you are moved to tears, those eyes are watching you, and he knows why you are crying .I read all the books he read.I've seen it, and he's seen it too.There is no agreement, everything is going on silently and unconsciously.I don't even admit it, we've become friends.But in the performance of "Drop Your Whip", I saw the flames flowing under the calm ground, and I suddenly realized what was going on.What an effort it took me not to lose my sense of normalcy!I am afraid of him.alienate him.He was so attractive to me that he would lure me away from childhood friends.In that case, I will break my oath and have no face to see Jiangdong's elders.So, I announced my love relationship with Zhao Zhenhuan to everyone; I deliberately held Zhao Zhenhuan's arm in front of him; I used Zhao Zhenhuan's outstanding beauty and special tenderness to comfort myself and encourage my courage.I finally resisted his temptation.

But his diaries were published.Who invented this method of class struggle?By exposing people's secrets, by digging out the most secret emotions in people's hearts to kill people.Having accepted such a lesson, I burned all my diaries at the beginning of the "Cultural Revolution".It hurts to think about it now!But what is my diary compared with He Jingfu's?No one has ever loved me like this.At that time, how much I wanted to copy down those diaries sentence by sentence! Every night, I avoid Zhao Zhenhuan and wait for him in this bush.I've never dated him, but I'm sure I'll run into him.I want to tell him: Let others laugh at him, let him insult him!I accept your heart, please accept mine too.I met him that day.He stood right across from me, and the two bright lights have been shining into my heart.I couldn't help myself... "Betrayal! Double betrayal! Betrayed my lover! Betrayed the party!" I seemed to hear someone shouting at me, and I was scared away.

When I "confessed my heart to the party", I confessed all this frankly.The group organization helped me seriously and enthusiastically, and praised me for "learning lessons from class struggle." It is strange that nothing has changed in this bush for more than twenty years.Still so dense, so low.But my memory seems so jerky and old.I try to forget him.He is "Right", I am "Left".One left and one right, how do they fall in love?Have I forgotten him?I do not know either.Like putting a demon in a bottle and not daring to open the cap, I don't dare to explore my own soul... Does he understand all this?What will he think of me? "forgive"!Zhao Zhenhuan, you speak too lightly!What a price I have paid, what sacrifices have I made to maintain an innocent, childish, shallow love with you!I closed my eyes and blocked my heart before all the temptations of happiness.To be true to you, I betray my heart.I give all of myself to you.Although I feel sorry, I can take comfort in being faithful.But your reward for faithfulness is desertion. No, Sun Yue no longer has the strength to forgive others.She just wanted to ask him - He Jingfu's forgiveness.No, she didn't want that either.She just wanted to forget about it all. "Sun Yue, how I wish you were still the Sun Yue in my memory! Why do you have to walk with a heavy burden on your back? You know, there is no light load on a long road. The road is very long, and your burden is heavy." Mrs. Jing, Lao He!The Sun Yue in your memory is the Sun Yue you shaped with love, she never existed.The real Sun Yue in front of her also has her "past".But this "past" is dead.The dead cannot be resurrected.How could she be the same as before?At that time, she had a firm belief, a passionate pursuit, a beautiful vision, and a lot of energy.She regards Xi Liu as the incarnation of the party and a model of morality.She believes that what is given is the heart, and what is exchanged is the heart.She held a statue with her whole heart, a holy statue, shining on her like the sun in the sky, warming her.A sudden gust of wind and rain blew everything apart, turned it upside down, and confused it.What she sees in her eyes and what she holds in her heart has lost its original color.She suspects that the rainbow and flowers covering her are all soap bubbles that she blows into the sky with straws.People lose their support.Jingfu, haven't you heard her cry?Wouldn't a pious nun go mad when she found out that God made Himself? My heart used to be almost crazy.In the dead of night, I covered my head and wept silently. What a sunny day!It has been a long time since the wind stopped and the rain stopped.But when will everything return to its original color?Not by painting and smearing.Bones need to be trimmed.Muscles to be honed.The blood needs to be changed... But look at Sun Yue, her temples are already blooming. Lao He, I love the illusory Sun Yue you created with love.I don't want to spoil it with reality. "Teacher Sun!" A couple suddenly turned to me from the depths of the bush, and I was taken aback.I wish I hadn't talked to myself just now. This is an interesting couple who just want to find a little trouble.The girl cried her nose several times in front of me.Every time, before I could get the boys to give them a lesson, they walked into the bushes again arm in arm.A little pain is the condiment in love, suitable for young people's tastes, and I don't take girls' tears so seriously. "Didn't go out to play?" I asked. "Singing practice in the afternoon, he is going to participate in the school singing competition, no one will accompany him out to play." The girl replied. "No one goes out with him anymore", this girl is so confident! "Okay, young people should sing more revolutionary songs to lift their spirits." I said with a smile.But the face is hot.If I add the word "revolution" in front of the song, students won't say I'm a "conservative".But this is my habit.I clearly know that not every good song can be "revolutionary". "Mr. Sun, I heard that you were an active member of cultural and entertainment activities when you were studying. Come and sing with us this afternoon!" It was still a girl who spoke.This pair is really like Zhao Zhenhuan and I, always talking to me, but it is "he" who really "holds the power". "Okay, I'll go!" I readily agreed, even surprising myself. The boy glanced at the girl, and the girl said "goodbye" to me, and they walked away side by side. Can't turn around in the bush anymore, don't know how many pairs to come across! I walked along the small river on campus.Are you really going to sing with them?The secretary of the general branch of the department can't ignore what he says.But in the past ten years, except for a few "Quotations Songs", I haven't sung any songs.Changge should cry, that is also a kind of happiness, I can't enjoy it.Have you forgotten all the songs you used to sing?think about it. "The sky in the liberated area is a clear sky, and the people in the liberated area like it very much..." I once sang this song while twisting the Yangko.Once, the red silk tied around my waist was too short, and I couldn't twist it freely, and I even shed a few tears on the teacher.But now I only remember these two sentences. "The rooster is so high and the rooster crows so loudly that the sun is so red and red. How can a young and strong guy lie on the bed and be a slob." A libretto.The performance was in a square, without loudspeakers.In order for everyone to hear it, the teacher found four pairs of "brothers and sisters" to "open up wasteland" together.Not many male students can sing. The teacher said that I looked like a boy and asked me to play "brother".A white sheep belly towel was tied on my head, which was tied by Zhao Zhenhuan for me, and he also pretended to be "brother". "The sorghum leaves are green and green, and the Japanese soldiers came on September 18th..." an episode of "Put Down Your Whip".Acting on the same stage with He Jingfu.His yell, I believe everyone in the last row could hear it.For I sounded like thunder, and my heart was bewildered and my eyes were dazzled.It's passed.However, I can still sing this song from the beginning to the end... "What's so happy? You sang all the way?" I was startled!Damn it, my soliloquies!Xu Hengzhong was walking behind with a basket of vegetables!Presumably it's been a while with me. "I'm going to start a business on Sunday?" I accosted. "I have a child, what can I do? I am both a father and a mother, and I am a real 'family man'." He said with a wry smile. I pity him. "Do you regret it?" "I went to school to participate in activities." "Where are you going?" "Just walk around!" "I made a piece of clothing for Xiao Kun, probably cut it wrong, and I can't get a piece." He seemed to be begging me, but he didn't dare to look me in the eye. "Let's go, Old Xu! Let me help you." He nodded briskly and I went with him. How strange man is!A few years ago, no one would have thought that the two of us would be together, and I hated him to the core.Xu Hengzhong was originally a "Baoxi faction", but on the eve of the "January Storm", he suddenly rebelled.Let’s talk about friendship. Before the rebellion, he asked his wife to inform me and persuaded me to change my position.I resolutely refused, and looked down on his casualness.Since then, we have no contact with each other.I am really puzzled by his rebellion.He is a banner set up by Xi Liu, an anti-rightist hero. During the "Ming Fang", he was restless because Xi Liu was attacked.The newspapers at that time even published his deeds!Moreover, he always carefully follows the instructions of the party organization at ordinary times, and he is not a person who likes to express his opinions first and hold up banners.How did he join the minority when the "conservatives" were still powerful? "Old Xu," I laughed before I opened my mouth. "I've been wanting to ask you a question for years." He looked at me, waiting for me to ask. "You are a man of prudence, why did you rise up and rebel?" He blushed.He is handsome and has a very elegant demeanor.When I was a student, I was very attractive to female classmates, but I didn't like a kind of "smell" about him.Not sour, not "poor", but an indescribable "taste".Let's use an analogy: his heart seems to be wrapped in a piece of oil paper, which makes it hard to see clearly, let alone allow anyone to use other colors to penetrate into it. "Caring heart" is always just a word and a concept for him.Will he tell me the truth today? "How many times have I asked myself that question. The answer is: half selfish, half stupid." This start was a confession that I didn't expect.Life can really teach people. "Do you still remember the big-character poster of He Jingfu I posted during the anti-rightist period?" He asked, and I nodded. "You only know one of them, you don't know the other!" It never occurred to me that heroes and role models could be faked by using the "misunderstanding method". In 1957, when the Mingfang started, Xu Hengzhong, like everyone else, wanted to help the party to rectify the movement sincerely.He signed He Jingfu's big-character poster, but the signature was very small, cursive and illegible.One night, he saw Xi Liu and several leaders of the school party committee standing in front of this big-character poster and pointing fingers, so he deliberately hid aside to listen and read.He is concerned about Xiao Xie's fate, hoping to let him go abroad to visit relatives, but also afraid that Xi Liu will retaliate against He Jingfu.Xi Liu hummed while reading the big-character poster, and his face was deformed by his fury. "The spirit of the central government has been down, and these people will not be rampant for a few days." Xi Liu said to his left and right. Xu Hengzhong was terrified.As soon as Xi Liu and the others left, he went to the big-character poster and looked for his signature.He found it, and although it was very inconspicuous, he decided to pierce his signature with a pen, like a drop of ink accidentally thrown, leaving no trace.Just as he finished this and was about to leave the big-character poster, a man walked over with a camera.Xu Hengzhong knew him as the editor-in-chief of the school magazine.The man asked him: "Which department? What are you doing here?" He hesitated and replied, "I'm so bored that I can't sleep." The man was immediately interested: "For this big-character poster? Do you have any interest in it?" What do you think?" He still faltered: "I don't understand the real situation." "Comrade Xi Liu never said such a thing, why our Communist Party doesn't care about human relationships, we only talk about class feelings. Comrade Xi Liu said this De: We admit that there are favors, but favors are class-based. Do you think He Jingfu is spreading rumors, slandering, and viciously attacking the party leaders?" "One into two, two into one. I can't tell the difference between these two sentences. However, the reference to 'viciously attacking the party's leadership' made me break out in a cold sweat immediately, and I nodded to Mr. Editor-in-Chief. "When Xu Hengzhong said this, his demeanor was still romantic, but the self-deprecation that he couldn't hide made him look weak and old. The next day, Xu Hengzhong was asked by Xi Liu to have a private conversation. "I heard that you were very dissatisfied with He Jingfu's big-character poster, and you were so excited that you couldn't sleep at night?" This was Xi Liu's opening remarks.Xu Hengzhong didn't deny it, nor did he admit it: "I haven't been able to sleep well these days." "What is your background?" "Poor peasants." Xu Hengzhong did not dare to trace his three generations. His grandfather was a landlord and his father was a prostitute. The "poor peasants" were the result of his father's prostitution.But it is really poor.When he was a child, he couldn't even wear trousers, so his fellow villagers called him "bare buttocks", and we also called him "bare buttocks", although this was extremely disproportionate to his elegant demeanor. "Well, your class feelings are extremely valuable. This is in stark contrast to He Jingfu's bourgeois theory of human nature and humanitarianism. Most of our young students are good and relatively good, and you are a good example. Positive Join the movement, bravely stand up to refute the reactionary fallacies of the rightists, and we will support you." Xi Liu's attitude was serious and friendly. "My emotions at the time were very complicated. I had no dislike for He Jingfu, and I couldn't see any anti-Party sentiments in He Jingfu's big-character posters. But what Xi Liu conveyed was the spirit of the Central Committee. And I was afraid of hurting myself." "So you wrote that big-character poster?" I asked. "It was written by the editor-in-chief of the school magazine, and I copied it." He replied. "It's so small!" Once, when I visited an art studio, I exclaimed when I saw a puppet not much bigger than a finger.The manipulator either stands or sits, or manipulates one puppet by one person, or manipulates several puppets at the same time.After a while, the man moved the puppet's head away, and after a while, the man raised the puppet's hand.cry.laugh.Embrace.scuffle.Thousands of troops.Heroic villain.The sky is high and the air is crisp.The smoke filled the air.It's all in the hands of the manipulator. If children came to observe the production process of puppet films, would they still praise the heroes on the screen so seriously, and raise their fingers at the villains to "snap! slap!"?I think so.Because the realm of art is different from real life. "How do you feel?" Xu Hengzhong asked me after finishing his story.Very cool, but also very nervous. "I've always taken all political struggles seriously. I've always asked myself to devote myself to all movements. But unexpectedly..." I couldn't make out my opinion. However, Xu Hengzhong understood: "Yeah, I didn't expect it... I got unexpected benefits, such as joining the party, staying in school, and getting famous in newspapers. From then on, I understood that right and wrong in political struggle, It's about opportunity, not whether a person is sincere." "Then, the rebellion is also because you saw an opportunity!" I asked.It's like swallowing a fly in my heart.Not because of Xu Hengzhong, but because of some associations arising from it. "From a classmate who came from a high-ranking family, I know that Liu Shaoqi really can't keep it!" He replied with shame and annoyance on his face. I don't ask any more questions.He didn't say anything anymore.What else can I ask, what can I say?He knows it, and I know it.Anyone who has been through something like this knows it.Do people carry their own heads on their shoulders?uncertain.But everyone said that they were thinking independently and asked "why" about everything.Act out tragedy in comedy.Comedies are performed in the form of tragedies.Not knowing who to curse and who to pity. I lifted a few stones from the road and threw them into the river, trying to make a splash, but they sank as soon as I threw them, and there was no splash. Xu Hengzhong took a stone from my hand, and with a shake of his hand, four splashes appeared in the river one after another. "Throw it lightly and let the stone jump against the surface of the water." He taught me. "I can't learn." I said.He blushed again. When Xiao Kun saw me, he rushed over and called: "Mother Sun!" This child is very handsome, but thin and bony, with a gloomy and somewhat timid expression, as if begging everyone: Love me!Don't bully me!I am a poor little child! I repaired Xu Hengzhong's torn clothes.The sewing machine rattled, and Xiao Kun stood timidly by the side, trying to touch the conveyor belt, but dared not. Xu Hengzhong was busy cooking.He kept yelling: "Little Kun, don't be naughty! Don't affect Mama Sun!" The transistor radio was always on.It was "The Song of Raz."I thought of He Jingfu.But Xu Hengzhong stopped washing the vegetables, leaned over to me, and asked, "Can it still be fixed?" His voice changed a bit.I nodded, not wanting to answer. "Fate drove me far away, far away, ah—" Raz sang.Like a banter, the teasing is so annoying.But how can Raz have the ups and downs of He Jingfu's fate?Raz has Lida.What about He Jingfu's Lida?I am not his Leda, nor worthy to be his Leda.Raz sang with tears.Blood coagulated in He Jingfu's singing.Under the Great Wall, a shooting star.Are my dewdrops dry?I don't need his sympathy and pity.If you miss it, you miss it.Don't fix what can't be fixed. The clothes are ready, I will try them on for Xiao Kun.Xiao Kun smiled.The child seldom smiled, and there was a taste of flattery in his smile, but it was definitely not a flattering smile.Children don't laugh like that.Qiaoxiaoqianxi, beautiful eyes looking forward to Xi.Old Confucius couldn't stand a flattering smile either.I hugged Xiao Kun and put his head on my shoulder.Xu Hengzhong leaned over and kissed the child, who was too close to me.I put the baby down and wanted to go home. Xu Hengzhong taught the child: "Xiao Kun said: Mama Sun will eat with us. Mama Sun will not leave." The child said it three times in succession, and when he said it the third time, he curled his mouth and cried. I can only stay. Such three people are sitting and eating together, what will others say if they see it?Xu Hengzhong was a rare joy, he kept picking vegetables for me. "Xiao Sun, our family hasn't been this lively for a long time. Are you too?" He suddenly put down his chopsticks and asked.I am noncommittal. "I hope you come as often as you do today," he said.I am also noncommittal. "We have known each other for more than 20 years. Why should we meet each other before? We are the same people who have fallen in the end of the world." He moved closer to me, and I looked at him in surprise. "Xiao Sun, do you know? When I was a student, I wanted to pursue a female classmate, but Zhao Zhenhuan took the lead." His demeanor changed completely, with obvious enthusiasm. There was a bang in the ears, a beating heart, and a hot face.Chen Yuli's words rang in his ears again.Will it be fake?with him?This man whom I have nothing but sympathy for?I put my head down. "I regret longing for fatherly love. Have you considered re-establishing a family to satisfy your child's desire?" He Jingfu asked me yesterday, and I replied, "I haven't considered it. I don't intend to consider it." Perhaps, it's time to think about it.Not for the children, but for myself.In order to reject Zhao Zhenhuan's atonement, in order not to accept He Jingfu's gift, in order to dispel his unrealistic fantasies. I have nothing but sympathy for Xu Hengzhong.Sympathy is certainly not love.But there are not many real sympathies in the world, let alone love?Li Yining is right, more than 95% of the couples are improvised, the difference is that some are improvised cleverly, like a jade carving artist who carves the eyes of birds on the blemishes of the jade, so flaws and jades get along well , works flawlessly.Some have exposed all traces of improvisation. To make do is also to combine.There are no flowers on the road, but it is smooth.Along it, you can also go to the end of life.How to answer Xu Hengzhong? I look up at him.The redness on his face just now has faded away, and his eyes reveal shyness, pleading and anxiety.I forced a smile and said, "Old Xu, I really didn't expect you to tell me this." "I know, I don't deserve it. I was a mediocre person. Now, my market price is lower than my actual value. No one will think highly of me. I don't want to have any more dreams in my life." His voice was self-deprecating and bitter.For a moment, he seemed to be ten years old! I suddenly felt that my fate was similar to his.We seem to be traveling along the same wavy path, only with alternating peaks and low tides.Our "market price" is determined by our actual position on this wavy path, however, it does not indicate our actual worth.Do you still want to go on like this?When will we be treated for what we are actually worth, without ever-fluctuating market prices?We are all people who have passed the "forty years of confusion". If there are two more fluctuations, it is time to end. I said these things to him.His face regained its radiance.He was so easily influenced by other people's attitudes, as if his fate was in someone else's hands.How different this is from He Jingfu.It is not good for a person to react too slowly to objective conditions, but too high a sensitivity will also lose himself.I don't like people who are overly sensitive. I have to go now. "Please forgive me for what I said just now." He seemed discouraged again.I was a little annoyed, so I said bluntly: "Since you know what is wrong, why do you say it?" He was confused.An unmanly man.I don't need such a person.I leave immediately. I tried my best to get rid of the impression I had just had, and walked quickly.Going to the bushes again, I thought about promising the students to sing.Go, go to the youth, these messy thoughts can be put aside for a while.Young people like Xi Wang are happy.They have only historical responsibilities, but no historical burdens.Will we still be like them?Or will they become us too?