Chapter 15 Chapter 3 Baihui 01

I firmly believe that even if a person's life only changes one of the others, it is very remarkable.One person actually has much less influence over another than imagined.But as long as a person is alive, he will try his best to persuade others, guide him to restrict him, and make him conform to his own wishes.Is this a human virtue or a vice? I found myself like that too.I'm particularly looking forward to two people: You and plum.I've been doing this for a long time, and it's only now that I understand that I can't change you at all.As I said, facing the slender Meizi, I sometimes couldn't help thinking: Why is there so much stubbornness stored in her body?

Some people don't understand a thing from birth, and sometimes they don't understand it in the end.During this period, no matter how much effort he (she) made, his or her understanding did not increase much.People seem to have been divided and regulated from the very beginning.For example, plums and drum foreheads, the difference between them is almost innate. Every time Meizi came to the vineyard, the two of them would look at each other in astonishment, which made people laugh.Gu Er knew that the other party had no malicious intentions, but he still walked around behind the bell as if he saw a strange monster... I said to Meizi: "She is shy when she sees you." Meizi snorted: "How can she?" Not shy."

She picks the best grapes for Meizi to eat; Meizi guides her to cut a fashionable hairstyle.But they still rarely talk to each other.Meizi said behind her back: "This little girl is queer—I've never seen such a queer little girl!" I told her: Gu forehead is not strange at all, she is as ordinary as a crop on the ground.You only have to go through the villages here, and they're all the same... Meizi thinks this is absolutely impossible.She felt a little mysterious about that bulging forehead and big black eyes. "She was like an elf, an elf. She doesn't speak, but she understands everything--her brain is full of frightening things.I'm afraid of people walking around without making a sound..."

At that time, the forehead had not been attacked. If Meizi said this now, I would be very unbearable.But even then I was sensitive to a kind of tingling.I endured something to defend this poor child, and I told my wife: "Don't talk about her like that, she is a very simple and good child. She was born without a decent dress, and she ate some rough food. She lacked nutrition, so she didn't grow tall. The bulging The forehead may be caused by the lack of calcium when she was a child... She walked without sound, that was fear, she was really afraid..." "Stop talking nonsense, what's so scary here? Everyone treats her well, so how can you be afraid?"

She interrupted me impatiently. I can only explain further: "No, in comparison, she is still a little more timid than others. I don't know why she is afraid-but I do know that she is a little scared. It seems because she was born in such a family, the village head, Militia company commander, almost anyone dares to scold them, she thinks she needs to be careful around! Also, she feels strange in front of you and can't be lively..." "What did I do to her?" "You didn't treat her like a sister, she felt it. You were a different kind of person, she felt it too."

"My God, how nice I was to her! I even cut her hair myself...how hard her hair is, like a man's hair." "That doesn't work either. You are too far away from her. You are people from two worlds. She won't relax when she sees you..." Meizi looked at me fixedly, as if she wanted to explore some important secrets: "Can she relax in front of you? Isn't she shy or afraid?" I answered truthfully: "Yes." "why?" "..." "why?!" I thought about it hard and said, "Because I'm in their, her parents' category, really. I'm close to them, I'm in their midst. They just feel it. . . You don't Doubt my inference."

Meizi looked at me more and more puzzled.Then she pouted and went off to do other things.She'll keep thinking about it.She probably thought—we are far away from each other—is that so? ! That's right.It's innate.But I love prunes and finally combined.I fell in love with an "alien" of a different blood, as I said earlier.But everything about her instinctively and innately challenged me.Maybe I fell in love with her with a religious feeling that changes a person.I find myself failing. Later, Meizi talked behind her back, expressing her dissatisfaction with her sweet potato-like complexion, clothing, slightly shy belly, and the way her buttocks are raised when she walks... one by one.

This is too much.I want to shout: Shut up, don't slander my sister!But I didn't do that.I hold back.I just felt a strong sense of discrimination from another direction from her comments—yes, this is discrimination, discrimination against the poor... Plum may not be rich, just as I am not rich.But she looked at the children on this land with another look. I found it impossible to convince plums. ... The impression she left on me reminds me often.I felt a little sorry for puffing my forehead, because after I saw Meizi leave, the little girl immediately relaxed a lot.Her smile became more real, and she dared to call Banhu, Dadingling, and Fourth Brother Kidnap loudly.

Now the forehead has been raped, and it is irreparable.I looked at her lying there quietly, with scratches all over her face and disheveled hair, and suddenly thought of some comments Meizi had made to her at that time.What a helpless child, how pitiful. I understand now that the insulted and the injured should never have to beg for sympathy and support from another direction; they are so unreliable.Even a good person like Meizi, a kind woman, showed discrimination consciously or unconsciously.What a terrible world.Where in the world can you find someone who doesn't discriminate against the poor?

At the same time, it also shows once again that what they may rely on is always only themselves.You can't have any fantasies, and you must completely let go of false thoughts. Gu Er barely ate something, and recovered a little under the care of Bell and the fourth brother day and night.She ran away when we were not paying attention, and ran to her parents.This time it hurt me.I tried my best not to think about the whole story, and dared not go into that low mud hut.I don't know what to say when I see those two old people, how can I have the courage to face those two tired and aging faces... Maybe they will ask: "I gave the baby to you, how do you take care of her?" What about my child?"

I would be ashamed then. But anyway, I still want to go to that village, to visit Guer.That day I was walking on the field ridge covered with weeds, looking at the yellow and thin crops all over the ground, I thought to myself: How dangerous this world is!There is nothing more dangerous in this world for the poor... If Meizi is walking on this barren road, and she is with me, my mood will be much better.She won't come to this path for a while... We did our best to get the drum back back on the vineyard.What a strange logic she had followed, that she should more or less think that this gave her a new sin.She was afraid of seeing everyone in the garden, even the tiger's stare.She threw herself into bell's arms and cried, and finally bell couldn't help crying too. She lost weight quickly, and a weak person, now became unbearable to watch.The bell occasionally held her in his arms, patted and comforted her, like protecting a little doll.I didn't hear a word from her for almost a whole day, she just worked silently, labor would make her forget something, so we didn't stop her.Once she looked at me fixedly and said: "...I am finished." I told her: You are not finished at all, just like the past, no one can change you!She didn't listen, and repeated one sentence stupidly: "I am done." The pity and self-blame in my heart can't be expressed in words, I just feel a heavy burden on my shoulders.I dinged myself over and over in my heart: You understand better now, don’t you?You should protect her well, she is your own sister, no matter how meticulous the protection is, no matter how much energy you expend, it is worth it, it is not too much... When Gu Er was working in the garden, the fourth brother or others were by his side.In this way, she has been moving in everyone's field of vision, as if she will be lost at any time.But the road ahead of us is too long, too long, how many people like drum forehead?Shall we keep our eyes on her forever?Once Gueru was hidden behind a clump of vines, and there was no sound for a long time. After everyone found out, they all ran over; Run down the sides of the nose. The tiger raised its head and stared straight at the vine in front of it, as strong as a man.we walk away... How many days in a row, I felt like a handful of grass was stuffed in my heart.There is nowhere to tell, there is nowhere to ask, surrounded by barrenness, and mist covers the fields.I know that the heat of a long summer evaporates the iron and lead on the earth, and when they float into the air, they oppress all things.What about your city?How are you?Happy or sad?Your tall figure seems to be swaying on the tree-lined road, standing in front of the autumn paulownia trees, looking to the north... Do you still remember the romantic trip on the mountain range?Not far to the north is my plain, here is our vineyard, here is our bullied maiden... When will you come here? I began to miss that city, and all the pain and happiness it gave me, I now cherish it more than ever.In a blink of an eye, the whites appear, and the person becomes old.Everything that I had watched from afar before was slowly and unexpectedly approaching me.Remember that concert we went to together?How ridiculous it was that I regretted the unreserved praise of the violinist.But that's my truth, he was really a very good man then, an artist.I feel that he transmits the mysterious sound from the beginning to the end, and the violin seems to grow out of him, a fruit on his branch.I had added extra, great happiness that day because of him.Your bright eyes looked at me, then at him, and turned your face away shyly. How I wish I could have another night like that.Oh how many years.All three had painted hair.How strong and how fragile youth is!It resides in people's hearts, stubbornly refusing to leave... You tell me how you got along with the violinist like a childhood sweetheart, how you went to elementary school and middle school together, how he carefully pinched your braid during evening self-study .As enviable as it is exciting, I don't think Fiddler will ever make a comeback.Probably no one left him that chance.I'm not so easy to mess with as a mountain savage, I think I'm quite a character.I took the opportunity to discredit the violinist by saying that his eyebrows grew together, his ass was too big, and his eyes were like buttons.You grinned from ear to ear, showing your perfectly white teeth.You have to say bad things about others just to look at those teeth. Thinking about it today I feel a little regretful.I don't show much purity in those moments. These past events moisten me and relieve me.You, Meizi, and our big family—everyone in the hut in the vineyard, including the tiger, are treasures that I have encountered along the way.I am eternally indebted to some power and will somewhere, whose generosity and benevolence have bestowed upon me such great favors.I couldn't live without all of this. Therefore, I am deeply concerned about any damage or accident that may occur here.Countless filaments connect me with everything here, whether in sleep or work, we are all closely linked... ＊＊＊ Since I have completely resigned from public service, it is not possible to return to an institution on short notice.A friend of mine did the same, and later wanted to resume his job, but encountered unimaginable difficulties.This is like a last stand, in fact, it all started long ago.On the day when he understands where he came from and where he is going, he will cut off his secular back road for himself. The Meizi family used all their strength to stop me at that time, and my father-in-law even said "leave the team".Obviously it is an organization, how can it be a "team"?He said it was our "other front", why not a team?Did I say that our plains are not "another front"?That vast land does not belong to anyone, it belongs to "us"... He was speechless for a while, and finally murmured: "It's very different if you join the army or not. Joining the army is..." Although my mother-in-law also strongly objected to my leaving, her attitude was much milder.Her fat palm moves my clothes and hair every day, saying: "Your father is right, you need to be organized and disciplined..." I never refute her, and I am grateful for her kind mother's heart.When I sometimes stare at her bowed and working figure, I can't help feeling excited.There is no mother, and there is only one person in my world who can be called a mother.I finally understood from their words: In the eyes of some people, the land and its people have long since been abandoned—everything there has not been "enlisted"... The father-in-law has a good relationship with Liu Meng.Liu Meng has close contacts with all the older comrades in this city.My father-in-law commented on editor-in-chief Liu in this way: "Young, courageous, strong in principle, good relationship between cadres and the masses..." The last sentence is not appropriate, she is mainly good with the leaders.The mother-in-law's evaluation of her was more objective, saying: "This comrade, she was lively when she was a girl, and she laughed when the leader pulled her braid..." Anyway, for a while, Liu Meng and Meizi's family cooperated seamlessly, sometimes soft and sometimes hard.Liu Meng insisted on not letting me leave, and said with a sour nose: "How I want to watch you grow up!" I say I have grown up.She said that I still need to develop, why is it not like this or that?Look at the hairy male editor, and the little female typist; the whole society is in motion, the situation has never been better, why are you leaving? I listed all the situation of the magazine to the Meizi family, and I wanted them to understand: this "team" is a very dishonest team... I decided to leave.Before making this decision, I once again told Meizi about wandering in the mountains—I don’t remember telling so many details before.Neither of us felt sleepy.I felt like I was in a stone house in the mountains with her, surrounded by overlapping mountain shadows.The cry of the night bird is very far away, and it is calling with difficulty.The boulder was knocked down by something, and it rolled down from the mountain stream, making a shocking bang.This is that big mountain, that big cloudy mountain. There are so many sweet streams in the mountains, and so many red wild fruits on the tips of the bushes.The naughty little fox, the lost mountain baby, has just grown into a grass rabbit with the size of a fist. The old hunter's yellow dog, the endless white grass flowers on the hillside... In a terrible winter, the mountain pass was blocked by heavy snow for forty days. I was trapped in a stone house, thinking about how to break out... Stumbling to a small lonely house at the foot of the mountain, he endured the pain in his leg and knocked on the door. How many days has it been since I haven't had a bite of dry food?It was an old mother in the mountains who opened the door, her hair was like snow.She looked about sixty or seventy years old, held the door with one hand and put a blindfold on the other to look at me, saw clearly, and pulled me in.I yelled in a low voice, and then I felt that my nose was as cold as a needle prick.I held my nose and continued to yell. It was a moment when I was hungry and begging for food and lost my mind-this kind of situation happens only a few times in a person's life, so I will never forget it.The old mother pushed me onto the kang, covered me with a big quilt made from sacks, and then lit a fire underneath to cook porridge.I don't know what it is made of porridge, gray-black, with an attractive white gas; there are dried potato leaves and two pickles in it.I grabbed the big brown bowl firmly and drank the dark soup in one gulp. This is the most unforgettable delicacy in the world, it makes me unable to find words to describe it in my life... That long night, I said to Meizi: let me go, let me find that big brown bowl, that bowl of gray-black porridge. I fell asleep after drinking porridge.I don't know how long I slept, but it was so warm when I woke up.I feel like dreaming in a stone house in the mountains.I wanted to stretch my arms, but found that it was like being bound. I saw that the old mother with a dark and wrinkled face was hugging me tightly, and patted me gently with her eyes closed.My head was resting on her arm, and she was humming softly... As soon as I struggled to sit up, she hugged me quickly, calling "Baby, oh my baby..." She stretched out her hands and pressed In my hair, on my face, from top to bottom.She hugged me again later, "Is it cold baby? Oh, my baby is cold!" She quickly unbuttoned the oily black dress with a large front and wrapped me tightly in her arms.The old mother's arms are very strong, and I feel that the neck is being strangled. I don't know what to do, I just want to cry, I just want to cry out loud.I still want to escape as soon as possible, but... the heavy snow outside is several feet deep, and the fluttering snow falls again.All trails are covered. I begged for something, I told her to come down from the stone house on the mountain, because one day I spent the night there, a heavy snow trapped me, and I took great risks to climb down the mountain... She didn't listen to anything, her mouth whined Luo Luo muttered, but I couldn't hear a word.She hugged me for half an hour, and then laid me flat on the kang.The quilt was covered and covered, and patted and patted.She turned and left, holding a plum-pit-sized flatbread for a while—it had been stored for too long, and it was also gray-black.I didn't eat, so she put it on the kang mat; then she walked away, and when she came back again, she took out a small copper bell, a small tiger hat, and a small pillow... I suddenly understood that the old man regarded me as a Little children—her little children!So she once had a child?Thinking of this, my heart tightened. The old man never left and sat next to me all the time.She always touches me, sticks to my face, strokes my hair, and once opened her mouth to look at my teeth. She then slapped her knees vigorously, screamed, and looked at the heavy snow outside the window.The voice was sometimes rough and sometimes high-pitched, probably like the way apes cry.Her eyes and cries frightened me, and I decided to run away as soon as possible, never daring to spend the night here again... I will set foot on the mountain trail no matter how adventurous I am. But when it was getting dark, the old man started cooking for me again.The fire in the stove reflected the walls of the hut, which was too beautiful to describe.The smell of rice wafted out, wrapping me tightly.I want to eat this meal before leaving—this way my stomach is not empty, and I can escape far away in one breath, to a village; I believe that this place will not be farther away from the village...Thinking like this, I hold my hand again He took the big brown bowl and drank it greedily. The old mother sat aside and looked at me with her sleeves folded.This reminds me that she hasn't eaten yet.Feeling guilty and flustered, I went to look at the pot—there was nothing in it. It turned out that the old man only cooked this bowl of porridge for me.I was so sad that I didn't know what to do, so I stared at her blankly.She pushed the bowl aside, then pulled me closer, whimpering, and hugged me hard. "Come on my baby, my baby, my baby!" She hugged me like this for a while, then let me go, ran to the door alone, looked at the dark night sky, and yelled like last time.The mountains are silent, only the heavy snow is falling.I finally understood that this old man’s nerves were not normal—maybe one day her only child went into the mountains to pick wild vegetables and wild fruits, and didn’t come back after dark, and then disappeared forever.From then on, she stood in front of the door and waited, facing the mountain from time to time, wailing like a monkey.This pitiful and desperate cry was somewhat enthusiastic and crazy at the moment.Probably she was telling Dashan and Heiye: The baby is back! I was deeply shocked, and soon sank into boundless depression along with the night.I can't bear to leave, but I want to hurry, I want to go to the other side of the mountain... Before falling asleep, she barely chewed something.I looked carefully under the light for a long time before I recognized it: it was a bowl of dried vegetable leaves mixed with sweet potato powder... The big kang was burning hot, she hugged me hard, her chin pressed on the top of my head, her hands were like Like a file, it patiently grinds the pores all over my body.She pressed every bone in me, from toes to fingers.My tears flowed out more than once, because I thought of my determination to escape after dawn. I barely slept that night, and neither did she.The palm of the Holy Mother touched me and patted me—she probably never thought or suspected that I was a passerby.Her deranged thoughts firmly regarded me as her own child.I closed my eyes and tried my best to hold back my tears... I thought of the hut in the jungle, my mother, my grandmother... At this moment she suddenly got up, lit a match, and then lit a small oil lamp.She walked to the kang with the lamp in her hand, but there was no sound at all.I still keep my eyes tightly shut.Then she undressed me - I was reminded of something, a bit shy - I'm not a child anymore - I actually wandered in the mountains for more than two years, I grew up and never thought I thought I might be a naked child... She angrily pushed my hands away from my body, called "Baby", and stripped me naked.Even though my eyes were tightly closed, tears were still pouring out... As if the old mother didn't notice my crying, she looked and looked carefully with the oil lamp, muttered, sighed, turned my body over and over again overwrite.She then put her face on my back and legs, grabbed my fingers, and gently sucked them one by one... Its daybreak.I wake up.When did you fall asleep?I only found that the light in the room was dazzling. It turned out that there was the sun outside the house.There was an old man beside her. She didn't eat or sleep for several days, she was too tired, and now she fell asleep soundly.Her hair is scattered on the pillow, like a handful of snow... It's time for me to leave, this is the best chance to escape. But - how do I go? "Mom! Mom!" I yelled in my heart twice, and knelt down facing her... I escaped from the house. As soon as I went out, the mid-air sun and the shiny snow all pierced my eyes. The tears kept flowing, and I couldn't help it.I rubbed it, turned around and covered the door tightly for the old man. ... I walked away, running in small steps at first, then fell into a stone pit, and after climbing out, I moved forward cautiously.I dare not look back at that little house.Of course I will never forget that there is a crazy mother in there, she is frightening, but she saved a lost orphan. I have walked through countless mountain roads.The snow melted, and the sun made the whole mountain cry.I was looking for some work in the small village in Xiangyang, earning my stutter and continuing on my way. Let this terrible winter pass quickly... I walked through one village after another, trying my best to catch up with that spring.But there is a pair of eyes chasing me forever, and there is a call that surrounds me forever. I have no more peace.I imagined on the way again and again: What if I greet this spring with the old man in that hut?When the heavy snow turns into streams and the ground is exposed, I will go to pick up fruits for the old mother, bring dry firewood, and prepare a house full of food and things to use - then it will be much better for me to escape. It's not hard to imagine how the old man woke up that morning.I stopped on the mountain road more than once, looking fixedly at the foggy north... I said to Meizi: This is just one of the countless stories I have experienced.I just want to tell you: a "son" is needed there.In the mountains, on the plains, in many, many places, "sons" are needed. There are too many mothers on earth, and too few sons... In this way, I walked away silently.I went where memory tormented me—and from there to the plain, to the scalding earth.I came too late, and there is no trace of the old stone house.How terrible I am, my heart has been as hard as iron all these years. I want to tell Meizi: Nothing can make me regret and tired, because I have already started to sum up and start to repay my mother.I have gone too far, although I have found some good brothers.My brother is gone, I should go back—my good brothers would definitely raise their hands in favor of me going when they were alive. "Liu Meng is so good!" Meizi's parents kept praising, saying that it is not easy for a person to meet such a good leader in his life, so he should cherish it, and so on.In fact, what is good?I knew very well in my heart: after being by her side for a long time, maybe I will make extremely serious mistakes. In any case, my return was a turning point in my life, and it meant nothing to me.Perhaps, this is the greatest gift to me today, and for this, I will cherish it all the more. ＊＊＊ The state horticultural field near us is buzzing.This was originally the best orchard I have ever seen. When I stepped into its borders, I was immediately stunned by its openness and splendor.What a good soil and water, the trees are covered with green onions, and the thick leaves are shiny.It was early autumn at that time, only a few varieties of fruit trees had reached maturity, and most of the trees had green fruits hanging on them.The entire orchard is divided into large and large areas. In the plots cultivated many years ago, there are tall and luxuriant tree species; while the forest belt with the new technology of dwarfing rootstocks is applied later, it is as regular as a tea garden, and the fruit trees are not much taller than the shrubs. , but adorned with fruit.The fruit forest area is separated by a series of roads, and the roadsides are towering poplars, poplars and ginkgo trees.Large and small irrigation canals criss-cross, like distributed vessels.The pump room is regularly arranged in the garden, and its surroundings are always full of hollyhocks and millet flowers.Those who work in the gardens are especially blessed, most of them are skilled workers and come from all over the world.There are more and more fruit and vegetable students graduating from colleges and universities here, and they have their own famous gardeners.The workers all wore uniform overalls, which were light blue and lake green, with the name of the field in handwriting printed on the top of the left pocket; there were also work caps, and the women's fluffy black hair overflowed from the brim, which was too beautiful to behold. I remember that morning in early autumn, when the dew had just disappeared, the workers were spraying the fruit trees with spray rods, accompanied by the sound of the air compressor in the tent.The sun shines through the fan-shaped mist, reflecting rainbows.I just stared blankly and stood there for a long time.The garden guard dogs shuttled back and forth in the garden. They barked and barked, and leaned against the workers from time to time to express their joy. Someone tied a piece of red silk around the dog's neck.Numerous birds sang joyfully all around, and they responded to each other, speaking words that people could not understand.This is a real "foreign language" - it is said that there was an 80-year-old forest ranger in the gardening field who had just learned this "foreign language". When he used words in life, he was taken back to his hometown by his grandson to take care of him. After I came to the vineyard, I met a female gardener.It was when I went to the gardening field to ask for help when the vine was sick.Her mother is a well-known fruit forest expert in China and is currently teaching in a famous city.Influenced by her mother, she aspired to be a gardener, and saw the garden in Cape Dengzhou during a long trip in college, and fell in love with it immediately, and insisted on working here when she graduated.She is twenty-eight years old and still single: she is tall, likes to wear strange clothes, and laughs loudly when she meets strangers."Don't you think the title of female gardener is great?" she asked. I say great.She said that she chose her career because of this name; if one day the relevant department changed the name of this line of work, she would resolutely leave the line of work.The seriousness with which she said this suggested that it was no joke. Remember that engineer friend at the winery?Right now he is suffering from a loss of love.His wife was a technician at the winery, and she looked a bit like this female gardener.So when he was dying, it occurred to me to lure him to the garden.He has been there several times, and he has business contacts anyway.I watched the lady gardener and found that she was not tired of the winemaker.In fact, this dear friend of mine is a handsome man with a very masculine appearance.I tried to talk about him, and the gardener said, "What a nice man! Do you see that? His hair is crooked..." I think things are off to a good start.Later, I found an opportunity, and I bluntly hoped that they could get closer to each other. In terms of emotions... The female gardener opened her eyes and laughed: "What are you kidding?" I asked: "You don't like Him?" "Why wouldn't I like it!" "So you... don't you want to talk?" The female gardener got a little angry: "Why should I talk about it! Maybe I won't talk about it for the rest of my life!" She walks away.Looking at her tall figure and her jiggly gait because of her stubbornness, I thought I was too reckless. I said something similar to the brewing engineer, since I was counting on his initiative--it might have been better that way.I know some girls, especially the pretty ones, are very good at irony.Who would have thought that my friend would stare at me with eyes as round as an eagle's when he heard this, and then let out a long sigh: "You are such a nonsense!" "why?" "You think I'll fall in love with someone else?" "..." He snorted contemptuously: "I don't know how to love anyone. I've been guarding her all my life..." I think there is nothing more stupid and unreasonable than this.How could he "keep" her since it was so obvious that she had unequivocally left him and was starting a new family? I point this out.He glanced at me: "I'll keep it in my heart..." I have nothing more to say. Facing a soul "guarded in the heart", who can conquer and destroy it?He was in love like this, deeply in love. I seem to have been hit by something. Now that I am facing a sad and hopeless plain, let me hold it in my heart.This is not a path of joy, but the beginning of stubborn entanglement.But I know the meaning of keeping watch, and I will keep her. Today, the garden no longer has the charm of the past.It is being embraced by another trend, and there is no way to resist it... The garden that used to be as flat as a chessboard is now being built with high and low factory buildings, black smoke gushing out in groups, and the smell of sulfur is choking.Hollyhocks and Melaleuca chrysanthemums were buried with rubbish as soon as they bloomed, and fruit trees that had just grown to fruition were uprooted.Well-built canals have now been turned into sewage channels... The fruit forest is still there, but it is incomplete.This is the greatest injury I have ever seen with my own eyes, and it hurts my heart to see it. The remaining patches of orchards still have to endure the torture of cutting, waiting for the intrusion of sea water, and the torture of land subsidence.Because the seaside mining area is gradually being developed northward, pieces of land are sinking, and dirty and smelly puddles are constantly appearing.The sunken ground is covered with reed grass and Polygonaceae plants, and unknown waterfowl are cooing.The head of the horticultural field is looking forward to receiving the land compensation fee from the mining area to use it as a factory and as working capital.People had to watch the fruit trees sinking into the water little by little. What about the gardeners?Most of them have entered the factory workshop, covered with oil, one after another night shift makes them look sluggish.This is an age where it is very easy to become listless and stale.Judging from their lazy gait, their youth has been almost exhausted, and they have no spare energy to maintain this garden. The title of the female gardener is still the same, but what about the garden she serves?I found that her face was also a little tired, as if she had lacked sleep for many days in a row.The eyes that were shining brightly in the past are now somewhat dimmed.She wore a pair of high leather boots, stood bent over, looked at the ruined garden, and cursed inappropriately. "I'm probably going back to town," she said. What is waiting for her in the city?I am the opposite of her, and my hopes for this plain are still greater than other places... She will not know that I am in an unbearable pain, and that I am staring at this garden—at its southern end, in the submerged land, there was a little hut long ago! I kept in mind its location.Before it sank there, I went to it again and again to touch and watch.It has already been merged into the territory of the gardening field, the thatched hut was destroyed, and only a small flat-roofed house for the gardener was built next to the original site... I watched my childhood and my heart-wrenching place sink into the water , A burst of pain made me unable to say anything.I'm just looking at this bubbling sewage... I walked from the noisy gardening field to the beach and walked alone for a long time.I seem to be looking for the place of my childhood for the last time, chasing memory, to calm my worry and coldness... The yellow sand on the ground is as soft as snow, and the bushes are sparse, clustered here and there, like the trees next to the cool years elder.The leaves of Qianjinzi and Limai on the sand are scorched and dry without any juice.Almost all the stick-headed grass that used to be connected in one piece died.There are no more luxuriant wild toon trees, short-stalked spruces, and tumulus bushes; only scattered poplars and poplars stand in the wilderness, waiting hopelessly. Where is the pine forest where I followed my grandmother to pick mushrooms?Where is the oak bush where my grandfather and I chased the cubs?The dry sand was covered with a layer of rotten grass clippings, and the strong winter winds piled up sand dunes.I squatted in front of a cluster of small knotweeds, staring at this bit of green, feeling a little bit of joy in my heart.I remember crouching beside it as a child, clutching at the stem joints, marveling at the wonders of nature.At that time, there must be Malan and Qucao on one side of it, and there will also be irises.But right now, there are dead and soon-to-be-dying soda and weeds all around. 一道道新掘的沙沟横在眼前，它们最初是直通大海的——它就在北方三四华里处。可惜一个冬春的风沙就阻塞了沙沟的去路。每条沙沟都是干涸的，沟底都凝结着黑色的沉淀物。这是从南边一些"开发区"引过来的。 站在我这里看去，往西不远是芦青河，往东十华里处则是黄水河——它比芦青河的河道要窄，但历史上却赫赫有名。 黄水河湾是一个规模不小的古港，一度被官家征用，所以又称"黄水河营"。据专家考证，那位东渡日本、为秦王嬴政出海寻找"三神山"的徐芾，最后一次出海，就是从这个港湾启航。 我一直踏着荒滩往东走去。 太阳落山之前我来到了古港遗址。这儿如今已完全不像个港口了，除了有一个石碑刻了遗址纪念地一类文字之外，引不起多少想象。多年的海浪风沙已经淤填了港湾；一个重要原因是黄水河上游植被被破坏，河流输送物质加快了一座古港的消失。但河湾如今仍停泊着三五只渔船——它们大概很久没有出海了，风干的船体胡乱抛在那儿，在阳光下像一堆兽骨。 黄水河已严重污染了这片海湾。上游的一处造纸厂和数不清的化工厂，使河水和一大片海水都变成了酱色。海风吹起，富含化学物质的浪涛扑到沙岸上，立刻堆积起雪白的一片泡沫，久久不能消散…… 而两千多年前这儿是鱼米之乡，是天然良港。徐芾出发的船队在这儿集结，河边就是打造船只的营地，三千童男童女和五谷百工就在这儿汇聚……真像梦一样！