Chapter 4 Four

"You stay at home honestly, don't mess around." When I met my brother at the entrance of the alley when I got home, he frowned and said to me.He wears shiny black leather short boots, a yellow woolen military overcoat, and his face is pale. The shiny red armband that is as wide as the sleeve is gone, and the armband is embroidered with a leader's head and black silk thread." Red Guards" three words. I hugged the quilt and shivered, had a runny nose, and wanted to sleep. When I walked to the door of our house, I suddenly found a big-character poster on the big red door of our house that had gone through thousands of dynasties, with the names of my parents and my mother written on it, and a black "X".Who is dad?His face was pale, he never spoke loudly, and he did not have the chic demeanor of a revolutionary with his head held high and his nose bubbling.He is over sixty years old, and he doesn't even have a belly, which makes me wonder if he is a revolutionary.I heard from my mother that he used to be a student who went to the city to go to school, and later he became a leader in the Communist Party, but some people said that he was actually more suitable to be a writer, but when the rebels arrested him, they said he was simply a landlord!Not a student, not a writer, not a leader, not even a "capitalist roader", but a landlord, the kind of landlord in a cartoon villain who wears a melon skin hat and a leather jacket and is skinny and forces renters to collect debts and bully the weak and fear the tough!

Anyway, he's gone, let alone think about who he is, I didn't even have time to take a closer look at what he looked like.After getting up that morning, as usual, we ate breakfast at different tables --- that was a rule set by my mother. I don't know if it was for hygiene or for the dignity of adults. We have eaten at separate tables with adults since we were young.Dad seldom talks or eats when eating. After breakfast, he either goes to the office to read a book or catches insects on the fruit trees in the yard.I always feel that he spends more time reading books and bugs than me.Anyway, that day, he still didn't look at me and looked at the bugs in the book, but I lay on the window sill in the room and looked at him.I thought about what was written about him in the big-character posters outside, and wanted to find something from him to prove that the lies in those big-character posters were false.I looked and looked, and instead of finding any evidence to overthrow those big-character posters, I found all kinds of reasons to believe that he was a landlord!Look how pale his face is!Look at his lazy eyes!Look how thin he is!See he is only interested in fruit trees!Look at him wearing a Chinese tunic never buttoned up! ······

I walked out of the house and went to the yard to watch him catch bugs, and he said, "Hey!" That was for the bugs. He said "hey hey" several times in a row, and killed tens of thousands of small greasy bugs with a sprayer one after another. "Father, can you tell me whether the things written in the big-character posters are true or not?" I asked him. "Haha," he wasn't calling my name, he was laughing. "Believe those shitty words, you should study hard." He likes not to speak directly when he has something to say. "How did the central government say it?!"

"Central? Ball." He followed up with a "hey hey" and killed another piece of greasy bug. I looked at his face, he was unshaven, and there was a hair growing out of his nose. When I was a child, I loved to climb up to his neck and pull his nose hair. "This year's fruit tree is finished." He looked at the fruit tree. He might really be a landowner.I looked sadly at the brick floor. "That piece of bamboo is so well taken care of, and I will take a few of them to make a new palace lantern during the Spring Festival." He looked at the bamboo. That is his specialty. Making palace lanterns and painting pictures of ladies are all "the leisure and leisure of the landlord class".

I went into the house crying, not to mention who he was, I rarely saw him before, he was in office, meeting guests and sleeping, I couldn’t see him at all, only when he was walking in the yard, I could follow him I took money out of his trouser pocket from the back of my butt --- I took the money and ran away, without looking at his face, I only heard him laughing "ha ha".He came to kiss me before going to bed at night, and I only felt his beard; during the day, when he hugged me, I only saw the brush hair; he took his brother to fish, and took his mother to dance; he bowed his head when writing, and smoked a smoking pipe when making palace lanterns ; Anyway, I can't see his face clearly.I suddenly wanted to know about him because of those big-character posters, but I didn't know anything.After a while, the rebels came and took him away in the jeep.

He never came back and it is said that he committed suicide. The past is the same as that of Zha Zang, who insists on bringing Huang Haha back to live again.She wanted to write but couldn't even make a story, she just got dizzy and talked to people from the past all day long.She completely forgot the reality, and she didn't start thinking about the past reality until the reality became the past again.Including her relationship with Mike, she didn't think about it until the past, and at that time she just wanted Mike to go back to the farther past with her.She is living in the past, and she has lived out of inertia. Once she loses the past, she will be at a loss like losing her clothes and becoming naked.Especially in London, walking along the shit-strewn road suddenly becomes a "national quintessence". From Confucius to "Wuji Baifeng Pills", all the ups and downs have nothing to do with London.

Her head turned into a grocery store with everything, just like the grocery store at the entrance of the alley when she was a child.I don't know how many years the chocolate has been stored, and there are worms in it.Break open the moon cake, there is no filling, only spider webs!I can't count the old and old goods, but I don't know where to put the new goods even if they are new.So Mike finally escaped with the reason of "I don't understand it, and I can't share it". His walking turned him into the "past", and he was naturally included in the category of "thinking" by Haha.Endless memories and inconclusive thinking made Haha want to start writing, but the writing itself is "present continuous", so she doesn't know how to write!

She walked out of the room chattering to herself like sleepwalking, and went downstairs to see if there was her letter. Reading and writing letters was also a big hobby of hers. "Why do you write letters all the time? You just don't want to live in the present." Mike finally couldn't help protesting after enjoying her "exotic atmosphere".It was the two of them who had just finished "cloud and rain", and she got up and was about to write a letter. "Actually, there is nothing to say when I really write it." She concluded again.There is nothing to say.People in the past want to hear about her present, but people in the present don't always want to hear about her past, and the thing she is most lazy about is "the present".

It's a holiday now, and I just started to travel, and all my classmates also went to travel.Haha once tried to apply for a visa to travel to Italy, but as soon as he showed his Chinese passport, the application was rejected.When encountering this kind of thing, she just smiled and said: "If you go around in China, it is bigger than the whole of Europe." She has a lot of European literature history, and her scores are higher than others. If you don't go to Italy in this life, you can die? "I don't believe you can't live without that." This is a common phrase used by my cousin. "I don't believe that you can't draw without sketch paper." "I don't believe that you can't learn to draw without plaster." She said this every time Haha had some new requirements to meet. "I don't believe that stick noodles can't support a scholar." After all, even during the most difficult "Cultural Revolution" period, relying on the passbook in the bank of my cousin, haha, I can still draw sketches with the most expensive paper; After checking the household registration, Haha still lived with Yang Fei for ten years.The big cousin is much easier to talk to than the Italian embassy. I used to joke that the big cousin's "I don't believe..." is a kind of "ignorance". Now I suddenly find that this "ignorance" makes a lot of sense. !

When something happens, just think "I don't believe it..." and think about everything, "Britain and France are just countries with big butts." As long as Mike talks about China's shortcomings haha, he will fight back like this. "I'm about to become a big cousin in London." Haha felt his legs get cold as soon as he stood on the street. "The cold starts from the feet." It was my cousin's words again.When I was young, I didn't like to wear cotton trousers, that's what my cousin said.And girls in London wear miniskirts and stockings even in winter, and there is no such thing as "the cold starts from the feet".Haha’s Italian classmate, Andonara, loves to hold student-like parties where she lives, and the guests come from different countries and speak different words.At the party, the Italian girls made the men's hearts beat with their joking and chic, and the French girls' fashions were full of temptation. Only Haha sat there solemnly, wearing a thick woolen skirt and boots.Alex, who was a comedian after graduating from a master's degree in sociology, said that haha ​​looks like a mother.Andonara wanted to transform Haha, so she wanted to lend her a miniskirt. After Haha put it on, she somehow moved her legs and felt that her legs turned into a face. When she walked, everyone only looked at her legs and not her face.Almost all men have been or will be Andonara's boyfriend, but she is obsessed with Lao Gu because he is like a "myth" and "unbelievable".Haha, I understand in my heart that it was the old Gu's "talking but not practicing" that fascinated Andona. "Chinese men are good at building momentum." Old Gu said when he talked about "sex studies".

"Tell me why he is so attractive?" Andonara asked Haha. Because he despises women.Haha said in my heart.But she said, "Because he's an idealist." "What am I to him?" idiot.Haha said again in my heart.But she said, "It's a dream." "Heh---I would like to keep this dream alive." "Having a dream is also a kind of happiness." As an ancient "buddy", she certainly cannot say, "Whoever loves him is unlucky." Andonara continued to enjoy the reality with her boyfriends with her "dream" about the old days, and Alex announced that his "dream" was shattered after returning from a trip to China. "What are you looking for in China?" Haha asked him. "Look for revolution, look for socialism. But all I see is material things." "Where did you go and who did you meet?" "It's the same everywhere. They are pursuing material things. Why do they give up the ideal simple and beautiful way of life in the past to pursue Western material civilization?" "Why don't you stay there longer? How can you know China in such a short time?" "I want to come back for a shower, a concert, and some Indian food," Alex said, shrugging. People, it doesn't matter what you want.Haha stood on the street nagging at himself. A drunk old man calls women whores across the road. ······ "Big dung is the treasure of our farmers," the production team leader said, pointing to the village toilets the first day we entered the village.The toilets here are all made of grass sheds, and inside is a cesspit the size of a swimming pool. To go to the toilet, one has to squat on the edge of the pit with feet side by side.Dogs, chickens, pigs and so on are often drowned in the cesspool. After drinking the manure water, the corpses float on the surface of the cesspool.This kind of death is the worst in the world, and no one who wants to commit suicide will jump into the cesspit. When I started working, I realized that dung is equal to gold.The production leader was a thirty-year-old widower with two thirteen-year-old twin daughters, both engaged to soldiers.Before they got married, they all worked at home. They often went to the toilet with bare feet to scoop up the excrement in a wooden bucket. After entering the dung bucket, they grabbed the rope of the bucket full of dung with their hands, put the bucket on their shoulders, and went to the field barefoot.I met them once. At first glance, I thought they were carrying two buckets of beans, but after a closer look, I found out that they were black maggot eggs floating on the top of the excrement.When the manure was in the field, it was stepped on by the farmers and squeaky pressed into the mud to be used as fertilizer. The crops did grow well in the fields where there was a lot of manure. That's why the production team leader had two toilets in his house. After the people in the village go to the toilet, they pick off the grass on the thatched shed to wipe their buttocks, and throw the grass into the cesspit, and they are all right.When the grass is picked less and less, the thatched shed will be transparent, and when walking on the road, you can still see a person squatting in the thatched shed and shitting.If it is more transparent, men and women can be distinguished. If it is more transparent, there is almost no grass left, and the farmers will push it down. The cesspit is a good cesspool, similar to a bank. I don't know why Wang Hua from Hangzhou agreed to marry the production team leader.Her parents were beaten to death when their house was ransacked again. There was a younger sister who went to elementary school in the city. Wang Hua entrusted all the money and food she saved to her younger sister. Our village is so rich that even pigs eat rice porridge. , thanks to the blessings of the big cesspit. We joked that Wang Hua saw that the production team leader’s house had two toilets, and one was bigger than the other. It's crazy.It is common for ducks in the village to climb up from the pond, flap their wings and line up to go swimming in the big toilet. After a while, they come out flapping their wings again, and line up to the pond to jump in.That pond is the only place in the village to wash vegetables, dishes and clothes. The advantage of the tile-roofed toilet is that you don’t have to worry about letting passers-by see you taking a shit, and the door is also repaired properly.At least from the outside it looks like a granary.The production team leader also built a plank by the side of the cesspool, so that you can squat on the plank and the edge of the pit with your feet apart, and pull steadily without worrying about rolling into the pond. From the perspective of marrying a daughter-in-law by weight, Wang Hua is also the tallest and fattest daughter-in-law in the village, so she deserves the highest price.Wang Hua got married after the two daughters of the production team leader got married, and she became the wife of the growth team leader, the owner of a row of tile-roofed houses, two toilets, and a few pigs that ate rice porridge. The whole village looked at her as white and fat. Fu Taixiang has nothing to say about this, and said that the production team leader is blessed with a wife like this, which is actually very expensive.Wang Hua's younger sister was also taken to Zhenkou to go to elementary school.Even if we don't look at it from the perspective of weight, we feel that Wang Hua has lost.We said that Wang Hua should at least marry the county magistrate in terms of weight, and that Wang Hua should at least marry the elementary school teacher regardless of weight. "Does that elementary school teacher have two toilets? He doesn't even have a toilet, and the shit is in other people's homes." Someone objected. Anyway, Wang Hua is doing well.Once we went to work in the vegetable field together, and I saw that the manure poured on the field the day before had been dried by the sun, and Wang Hua said, "Crush them with your hands, the vegetables can absorb them." Break it?by hand?I stood in a daze, and Wang Hua started to break up the dung. The inside of the broken dung is thin yellow and yellow. You have to break up the really thin yellow dung with your hands, as if you picked it up directly from under a person's buttocks. The shit that comes out is like breaking into pieces. "These are all good things." Wang Hua's tone was the same as her husband's.Then she generously broke off a cabbage heart and invited me to eat it.I took a bite and it smelled like shit, but it was delicious anyway. Later, she became pregnant, and one day accidentally fell into a cesspit.Everyone in the village is waiting to see what kind of shit child she will give birth to.The child born is extremely smart, not smelly at all, just likes to play with his own shit.Later, Wang Hua entrusted someone to bring a toilet from Hangzhou. Her family established a rule: all of them are "convenient" at home, and a curtain is drawn where there is a toilet. Sometimes she sits on the toilet and defecates with visiting mothers-in-law and daughter-in-law. Chat.Every morning she went to empty the toilet, and then used the water from the pond to scrub it clean and empty it into the toilet.This became the news of the whole village, saying she was dirty.Those women came to see how she sat on the toilet and chatted with people on purpose.Some people want to learn, some people scold.Anyway, the ducks still lined up from the pond to the toilet, and from the toilet to the pond. Haha stood in a daze on the street.Past times, people, places, and conversations are like a musty pile of hairy fermented matter that crawls out of the crevices of her soul to ensnare her, and the old men who curse and the old ladies who scatter and the ice cream truck have nothing to do. Gone, the London soybeans below the neck and gurgling in the stomach are gone, only the head is hanging in the air, and those fermenting memories are in front of my eyes. A kid came over and asked her for change... ······ "You have to let the qi come from here to here." When Haha taught Mike Qigong, Mike was like a big monkey. "Pass through here, go up here, then spread out from here, go, go, do you feel it? Do you feel it? Do you feel the palm of your hand?" Haha asked Mike. "No." Mike said with a smile, he thought it was a girl playing in a dream. "I feel it." Haha closed his eyes. "That's superstition." "you idiot." Haha looked contemptuously at the English version of "Taoism" on Mike's desk, as well as the materials Mike collected about the East, and made a summary in his heart: be honest. And Mike's summary for Haha is more: romantic.Housewives.hippie.conservative.artist.There is no aesthetic.Arrogant and stubborn.Silly.actual.unrealistic.Complicated mind.life is simple.With a heavy heart.Have the courage to sacrifice.Don't turn your mind.sexy. But he didn't say anything, just said: "I don't understand." He broke up with Haha. "Forget it, go eat Chinese food." Liu Ding comforted Haha. There are many foreigners in Chinese restaurants, and chopsticks symbolize culture in London, just like eating steamed buns with forks in Beijing. "Eat something good, buy two new clothes, forget about it!" Liu Ding waved his hand.She is a "soprano" from Beijing. "Where did you buy your new clothes?" Haha asked distractedly. "Playing in Amsterdam when there's a big sale there." "Does it really solve the problem?" "Of course, looking in the mirror and seeing yourself is pretty, really solves the problem!" "Are you going to perform again soon?" "Go, we still have to represent the country." "How long are you going to study here?" "Water knows? It's funny to think about it. I seem to live to participate in the competition." Liu Ding has won several soprano awards in international competitions, and he still wants to participate in the competition. "Stop participating." "Once back home, don't they know the award but not the music?" "Too." "To tell you the truth, you can eat Chinese food. How come the food in London here is the same as what we ate when we were famine?" "This is culture. They pay attention to food and eat natural things, so they eat rough bread and dim sum. Those refined products and fast food are only eaten by uneducated people." "Oh my god, forget it, I didn't eat enough when I was a child? It's just that kind of peach cake. I get a headache when I see it. When I was a child, I ate only peach cake and nothing else. When I came here as a guest, they even gave me peach cake!" "Must be an intellectual here. Hee..." "Hey, it was even more funny once. An old lady showed me her embroidery. Everyone here said yes. I said, how does this look like the method of embroidering Chairman Mao during our Cultural Revolution? It's not difficult to embroider like this. Everyone was speechless. Later they said that I was too stupid, and the old lady would be sad, but it is obvious, I will embroider the portrait of Chairman Mao in this life, which is the embroidery method!" "How about some chicken feet?" "Okay. Later, I was really afraid of going to sit with customers. If I don't talk, I can't do it. If I say it, I'm wrong! I've been talking politely for hours, drinking, and it's more tiring than a bannerman." "yes." "You forget that Mike, life is a forgetting word." "And you?" "Cough, my husband..." "At that time your ex-husband." "Oh, I forgot I was divorced. My husband..." "Ex-husband." "Yes, ex-husband. Who is to blame for my ex-husband and me?" "Mike said he didn't understand me." "It's okay to say that you don't understand from the same country, but my husband and I are...also..." Liu Ding was about to cry. "People's hearts are separated by belly, which movie said that?" Haha suddenly wanted to laugh. "······" "Forget it, you can still look in the mirror and forget." "I'll go shopping for clothes in a while." "Can clothes really solve problems?" "It always makes people think that you are a person." "Sometimes I don't know what to look for?" "Look for someone." "yes." "I can't do without people." "······" "It reminds me of Madame Butterfly." "You did a great job in that scene, really into it." "I'm about to make a show myself." "Perhaps the fault lies in being too aggressive? As soon as you fall in love with someone, you want to grab him and connect his fate with yours. In fact, that's not the case at all! Think about it..." "Stop thinking about it! Tell me about my play. When did you see it?" "Eight years ago? That experimental theater is so hot." "Yes, yes, I wore five layers of costumes, and I almost suffocated!" "Why wear more clothes?" "The makeup artist said that it looks like a kimono." "Why doesn't that damn place even have a dressing room?" "It's cheap. No one goes to the opera, and they can't sell tickets. That dressing room is so funny. Turn around and take off your clothes, turn around and go on stage." "You sing very well." "Yo, I'm singing and crying." "I really cried when you died." "I had a fight with my husband right after the show." "Love isn't worth it. Is it worth dying for a fool like Pinkerton? But then again, let's..." "I'm just annoyed that my husband underestimated me!" "Mike said he likes silly women." "My husband and I have been screaming all our lives." "Men basically wipe out silly women. You're so naive as a butterfly." "Didn't he take that girl to the theater to annoy me?" "Oriental women are dreamers, gentle and dedicated." "I trampled all the fruit he gave me, threw away the flowers, tore up the score, and even scolded that little girl!" "The moment when you were about to kill yourself was horrible." "Forget it, Butterfly, you fucking asshole!" "Celebrate the publication of the Supreme Directive!" "Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom!" "Long live Long live Long live!!!" It's fucking exciting, it's a fucking dark night, it's a fucking cold day, when it's so fucking late, you can walk down the street with a bunch of mobs yelling, you can set off firecrackers, you can shout, you can beat drums, you can be loud Efficiency Can fart loudly Can take a chance to hang your throat Can do all the things that can't be done on a normal night. "Long live! Long live!!"