Chapter 20 Honey: 3-5

Tingsheng, the person I love with all my heart: There are people like you in the world who write love letters in this way.Your life is an exciting, kind, and lively life, and almost all of your opinions are "sympathetic to me." The Bible says: The whole law is contained in the words "Love your neighbor as yourself." ("Galatians 5:14") I know how much this land holds in your heart, and I will never try to persuade you to leave like I did when I first spoke to you on the phone. I already know that if you leave, you are "safe" and your mind will sink into a state of greater pain and confusion.

Peasants have always been a group of people who were "naturally" sacrificed by the rulers. Few people feel sorry for them. Some children who were originally born in the farm family, after stepping into the circle of "higher people", will intensify the deprivation Farmers - there are many such examples around me. In this era, due to competition, war, and desire, people's hearts are no longer soft like flowers, but hard as iron. Art has also completely degenerated.I heard that a so-called "performance artist" came up with such a "performance art" in order to attract the attention of the Western world: he went to the countryside and bought a baby who had just died at a very low price.Then he informed the reporters of the western media and people in the art circle that he had a major work to be exhibited.

What kind of masterpiece is this?He steamed the baby's body in a steamer and ate it! Without faith, without love, art becomes massacre and crime. Is coldness really beautiful?What's wrong with this era, so that "cool" must be considered beautiful? I remember Tagore once sighed: "I have deep pity for these peasants - our tenants - the tall, weak, immature children of God; things must be sent straight to their mouths, otherwise they It's over. When Mother Earth's breasts dry up, they don't know what to do, they just cry. But as soon as their hunger is filled, they forget all their past sufferings. "India is a farmer just like us s country.Farmers in India are also struggling on a vast yellow land.

Tagore also said: "If there must be suffering in this world, let it exist; but there should always be a ray of light, at least a gleam of hope, so as to promote the nobler part of human beings, with hope." , Struggle unceasingly to alleviate this suffering.” Indian farmers are unfortunate, but fortunate, they have some hearts like Gandhi, Tagore, and Mother Teresa who share the suffering with them. What about farmers in our country?Liang Shuming and Yan Yangchu once launched the "Rural Construction Movement", and that was a long time ago. I also think of a passage you wrote in the article "Experience at the Bottom and Experience the Bottom": "In an era when young professionals are all determined to climb up, and the enthusiasm for paying attention to society is gradually disappearing, there are actually a group of people who give up on themselves. Well-paid, high-status and respected jobs in advertising, medicine, law, finance and theatre, among others, working around the clock for the poor, homeless, unemployed and disenfranchised , although they are few in number, it is indeed surprising!"

You are referring to a group of young people in the United States. And I also want to be such an astonishing person, I am not afraid of being a small number, because I know that having you is enough. Do you understand my courage and determination? Mom and Dad read your book, on the one hand, they appreciate it, but on the other hand, they are very worried.They said that if there was another political movement like "Anti-Rightist" and "Cultural Revolution", you would definitely end up in prison.It turned out that they hoped that I could find a boyfriend who studied science and engineering, so that it might be "safer".

However, I said to them: "Didn't Grandpa also study biology? He still couldn't escape the catastrophe." I thought, there are some things we have to bear, and we can't avoid them even if we want to.I deeply know that to be your wife is not to share your honor, but to help each other through the long, endless and bumpy road with you. These days, I am reading a book written by the Czech writer Havel - "Letters from Prison - To Dear Olga".This book directly confirms a serious proposition "how giants become giants" put forward by Moreau. In China, once an accident occurs, the result of "husband and wife are originally birds with the same fate, and they fly separately when disaster strikes" will appear immediately.Yu Dafu's wife Wang Yingxia, Bo Yang's wife Ni Minghua, and Li Ao's wife Hu Yinmeng all chose to betray their lovers ruthlessly when their lovers were in the most difficult time and when they needed support and comfort the most.

So, Yu Dafu went far away and was buried in a foreign country. Although he survived the difficulties, walked out of the prison, and finally bathed in the sky after the lifting of martial law, the damage they suffered mentally was difficult to heal.This kind of injury directly affects the thinking and creation of Bo Yang and Li Ao, and affects their basic attitude and judgment towards life. In my opinion, the series of mistakes Bo Yang and Li Ao made in their later years are obviously related to the huge trauma they suffered in their hearts. There is too much hatred in their minds because they are hurt people, and hatred is a color of self-enclosure and protection.

There is too much strategy in their behavior, because they are hurt people, and strategy is a game of cleverness on the edge of a knife. However, wisdom is by no means wisdom, and hatred cannot accomplish ultimate salvation. Compared with them, Javier is too lucky.Javier's wife, Olga, has always stood alongside her husband in the face of evil without fear.She did not turn her back on him, on the contrary, she gave him the greatest support and comfort. When Javier first lost his freedom, he made endless requests and demands to his wife, handed her many lists of tasks to be completed and items to be sent to him, which he called, not without a hint of irony, "" instruct".He's worried about their farmhouse in the outskirts, not only because it needs constant repairs, but because the housing authority seems to be preparing to announce its seizure.He urged her to consider trading one of their apartments for another, to buy some new furniture, to get a job, to learn to drive.He complained that she didn't write very often, didn't answer his questions, that when she told him some information, she didn't tell him in detail enough to let him know what she was doing every day.

Beneath the chatter, one senses the deep anxiety Javier felt after being suddenly cut off from his circle of friends and colleagues.This is precisely the insignificance of a great man and the truth of a great man. Apart from Javier's lawyer, Olga was his only connection with the outside world.He relied on her to know what was going on outside, and when he urged her to "be social," he was expressing his inner need; through her, to continue participating in the vibrant life of his group. Javier asked straight for these things: underground concerts, unofficial symposiums, new underground publications, discussions, debates, arguments, gossip, to learn about what she couldn't get rid of.Every change in his inner mood is extremely important to him.

Olga forgives the anxious Javier.She knew that he was not a god.She clearly knew that Javier also had some mediocrity.So, she tried her best to help Javier from weakness to strength. "Home" means "intimacy" in Czech.With Olga, Javier can experience the "intimacy" of "home" even in prison. For quite a long period of time, the authorities did not allow them to meet, which is undoubtedly cruel torture for the loving couple.This is a sneaky evil characteristic of rulers in the "post-totalitarian era", something akin to children's pranks. However, they maintain a spiritual connection in their correspondence.Because the correspondence was strictly censored, they had to suppress their passionate feelings, and changed to a relatively concealed and calm expression, hiding their feelings behind the letter paper.

In the preface to "Letters from Prison", Javier recalled those difficult days: "Olga and I have not confessed our love to each other for at least two hundred years, but we both feel that we are probably inseparable. Indeed, in You won't find many heartfelt private words addressed to my wife in my prison letters. But even so, I think Olga is the protagonist of these letters, although she is indeed hidden. This That's why I've put her name in the title of this book. Doesn't the consistent purpose that permeates these letters say something in itself that justifies it?" This does not seem to be a collection of romantic letters, but every word of it is full of affection. In stark contrast, Li Ao's later letters are full of excessive exaggeration of pornography from beginning to end.This is negatively showing that he has been greatly hurt emotionally, and it also shows that he is a fragile person deep in his heart-whether he admits it or not. At this time, Li Ao didn't understand "love" anymore, and his so-called "love" was just a game.The sincerity and love, health and vitality of the youth, and the "innocent heart" of the youth have all disappeared without a trace.Of course, maybe Li Ao himself is not willing to do this - it is the autocratic power and ruthless women who hurt him to such an unbearable extent.As a result, he gradually lost his vigilance against ugliness and frivolity, and finally pushed ugliness and frivolity to the point of "aestheticization". Li Ao has the potential to become a giant, but he is far from being a giant. Contrary to Li Ao's feigned madness, Javier sticks to the glorious side of human nature in his calm writing.He said: "I am a writer, and my vocation makes me feel that it is my responsibility to tell the truth in the world that I live by." In his works, there is no exaggeration or insulting words.His writing style and writing attitude also testify to his steadfast philosophy-even when the principles of democracy and humanity seem hopelessly lost, they will not abandon them. Havel occupies a central place in modern Czech thought.Havel's writing represents the noblest part of Czech thought and human thought.As Havel's old friend, the psychologist Nemetz, said: "The new thing Havel brought to Czech literature is that he always writes as if the censorship did not exist. If he doesn't want to write some kind of If he wants to write something, he will not write; if he wants to write, he will only write in the way he thinks is right." Most people may find these letters too plain to read.As everyone knows, this kind of plainness is exactly the realm that Javier strives for. In one letter, Javier wrote: "Thank you for sending me two name-day greeting cards, the first of which I still have and which I have successfully used to scent my cabinet. What a great idea to put the perfume on it, I think you should do it with every letter (what scent? Frangipani? It reminds me of those days and nights--you must have written me there Your letter has finally arrived, and unfortunately it was not given to me because it was considered unacceptable; I was only surprised at what was acceptable. It is a shame that a letter that has been waiting for a month has not been received." The care shown by the fragrance on the card is sincere and touching.It is the poetic excavation of the details of life that gives him the courage to fight against evil.If one day, he can no longer feel the smell of the perfume on the card, he will be on the verge of collapse. Javier also spoke about a meeting he had with his wife.During this meeting, he has maintained a gentle and calm state. Lest his wife think him cold and indifferent, he wrote to her immediately after the meeting to explain why he had acted this way: "The whole meeting was easygoing, civilized, and not at all tragic, and perhaps that was the best way-- Ignoring the abnormality of the situation, acting as if you just saw each other in the morning, after shopping, and met again in the car for the ride home together. Excitement, nervousness, busyness, anxiety, responsibility, seriousness of this moment Gone, sex and strangeness (and understandably the trap of Christmas melancholy). So not only is there more talk in the calm, but we can also be together in that moment in a totally authentic way. Lack of enthusiasm, The lack of festive spirit, excitement and tear-jerking emotions may be lamented by those who ignorantly mistake the easy-going atmosphere for shallow symptoms of relationship spirit and heart. But we should be glad that meetings are normal and straightforward , not emotionally. Because, after all, this is the right way to hold you, Ivan and my whole family together. Anything unusual, unnatural and forced, any drama or heightened meaning, will only confirm that we were forced to separate unintentionally increases the distance between us, endangers the sense of reality, and turns the physical distance between us into a psychological and spiritual distance." Indeed, only in this way can the evil Powerful and shameless spectators were deeply disappointed, and their disappointment was a victory for Javier and his wife. The center of a storm is often calm.It is this tranquility that maintains the integrity and freshness of love; it is this tranquility that effectively resists the harsh external environment and makes the prison a paradise. Their greatness is beyond our reach, but we can learn from their basic attitudes towards life.Dear Tingsheng, if we fall into the same situation one day, I hope you can have Havel's wisdom and courage; as for me, I despise Ni Minghua who betrayed Bo Yang and Hu Yinmeng who betrayed Li Ao. Erjia's trace, do what I should do. Javier once talked about what kind of woman is suitable for him. He said: "I grew up in the loving and solid arms of a majestic mother. I need a dynamic woman by my side who can be consulted." Opinion, yet in awe of me..." He described Olga in this way: "Olga is very different from me. I was a child from a middle-class family and had always been an intellectual with little self-confidence, while Olga was a working-class child. girl, plain, sober, not sentimental enough, she might even be a little garrulous and annoying; in other words, like we said, you can't get her drunk." Although there are great differences in their life backgrounds, personal hobbies, etc., Javier pointed out: "I found that Olga was exactly the kind of person I needed: a person who was happy with my own inner turmoil. , a dispassionate critique of my wilder ideas and personal support for my overtly dangerous activities. Throughout my life I have consulted with her on everything I do, and jokers say she even The faults that hurt her are like consulting her, and I also consult her on the whim, no matter what I write, she is usually the first reader, if not, then, in She must also be my chief authority when judging it." Javier is a lucky man.Tingsheng, my love, I also want to make you realize that you are also a lucky person through my efforts. Love you little Xuaner with all my heart June 29, 2000 Xiao Xuaner, my Helen: Thank you for telling me about Javier's experience. If one of the greatest figures in Asia of the twentieth century was Gandhi, one of the greatest figures in Europe was Havel.They are like pillars, supporting a clear and clear sky. China, our China, when will there be such a towering colonnade? A writer friend of Havel commented on "Letters from Prison--To Dear Olga" in a letter: "This is a book with a purifying effect. Your demands on yourself, your sincerity and Loyalty forces people to look through their eyes, to see if people are absorbed in their own lives, to see if they cheat and lie to each other when it comes to other people's affairs. Then, suddenly, you seem to gain insight, and your observation becomes more and more The more careful, the more productive. Suddenly all your thoughts seem to revolve around the true meaning of life and vision.  …This book is important. Whenever I think of it, it will stand side by side with the bloody and indecent novels However, people no longer use those novels to stimulate their cooled feelings, but start to save themselves in thinking, then there is at least a glimmer of hope in the world." One day, if I meet the oncoming bad luck, I will insist on writing like this—writing that makes myself healthy in the midst of external harm, writing that spreads love and truth amid hatred and lies.Dear Ning Xuan, I believe that I will have your eternal support. Today, we hold graduation ceremonies in the Centennial Auditorium.When I put on the master's clothing, all kinds of feelings came to my heart.The most important part of the ceremony is pulling the fringe of the master's hat from one side to the other.This gentle pull can really be regarded as "two or two thousand pieces of gold".Six years of elementary school, six years of middle school, one year of military academy, four years of undergraduate study, three years of postgraduate study, and a full twenty years of campus life came to an end immediately.The ancients said "ten years of cold windows", but I paid twice as much time. Especially to leave Peking University.After talking about leaving for a long time, when the departure really came, I was still a little bit reluctant after all.Suddenly, I was a little envious of those students who continued to study for a Ph.D.They can still stay, at least three years. I walked around the campus with a few classmates wearing long-sleeved and fluttering master's clothing, and picked out several scenic spots to take pictures as souvenirs.Today's campus is full of graduates in master's and doctoral attire.The whole family of some graduates came. When I was at the entrance of the Chinese Department, I happened to meet Mr. Fei Zhengang, the head of the department. Over the past few years, Mr. Fei's concern for me is like the spring rain that "sneaks into the night with the wind, moistens things silently".When the pressure and criticism came together, it was Mr. Fei who came to help me resolve and eliminate it, and he never told me. Several times, I was still kept in the dark when I was dull, and I didn't feel the slightest sign of trouble.Or after the incident, other teachers in the department told me that a certain leader of the school called and criticized my article for being out of line and having problems with my thinking, and asked the Chinese department to restrain or even punish me.In the critical moment, it was Mr. Fei who stepped forward and affirmed Peking University's tradition of "freedom of thought and inclusiveness". He would rather bear the huge pressure himself than let young students like me feel the slightest pressure.He said that as the head of the department, the most important job is to create an environment for teachers and students to study and think freely. I was overjoyed to meet Mr. Fei by chance.I hurried to Mr. Fei and asked to take a photo with him.There is a long period of time between his white hair and my black hair; however, his heart and mine are fully integrated.He smiled and took photos with us one by one, and sincerely wished us all the best in our future life. Thinking of leaving such a mentor, I still feel a little sad.However, I am delighted to feel that I am lucky to have met one after another good teachers and helpful friends from elementary school to university. Dear Ning Xuan, it's a pity that you didn't come to my graduation ceremony today.Several of my classmates, their wives and girlfriends, some came from other places, and some specially asked for leave to share the joy of the moment with them.I also took a lot of photos for them.At this moment, I am a little jealous of them, and my beloved is still thousands of miles away. It has been more than a month since you left my hut, yet I am still trying to find your breath. On the pillow, in the pages of a book, in the mirror... When you go, forget your toothbrush.So, these days, I use your toothbrush to brush my teeth, as if I am kissing you, because the toothbrush still has the breath of your lips, and also your smile and joy.I use it, and it "infects" all of this to me.I was wrapped in layers of happiness, like a baby sleeping in a lotus flower. I am reminded of Pasternak's description of Tsvetaeva, and the ode to their love.He wrote: "I am in a world full of love for you, and I can't feel my clumsiness and confusion. This is the first love of first love, simpler than everything in the world. I love you so much, it seems that in life Thinking only of love, for a long, long, incredible time. You are absolutely beautiful. You are the Tsvetaeva of the dream; you are the Tsvetaeva of the existential analogy of walls, floors and ceilings, that Tsvetaeva in the humanoid body of air and time; you are the language, which appears where the poet seeks all his life and does not expect to hear an answer. You are the great poet in the field where many admirers are gods, You are the highest spontaneous humanity, you are not in the crowd, or in the human vocabulary ("spontaneity"), you stand alone." In fact, Tsvetaeva was not a beauty at all—she had a large, manly face with prominent cheekbones and sharp edges.Her demeanor was not gentle, even a bit cold, maybe it was the stiff and embarrassing life that tortured her like this.But, in Pasternak's eyes, she had an irresistible charm.Poetry gave Tsvetaeva her astonishing charm.For love, she can be desperate, she wrote in the poem: I will from all the earth, Take you from all heaven, I want from all ages, from all the nights, From all the golden banners, Take you back from all swords, I'm throwing away the keys, Chase the dogs from the steps, For in the night on earth I am more faithful than a dog. Tsvetaeva's life was unfortunate.She has loved many people, from Rilke to Pasternak, but these were purely spiritual loves. Her real family life was in trouble. Her husband was an officer in the tsarist army and was sentenced to death on charges of "special suspicion" after the outbreak of the Soviet-German War. Tsvetaeva had long anticipated her own end. "Because I had to choose, I immediately chose for life...gloomy thoughts, bad fate, hard life." Little did she know that her husband had been executed two weeks after the outbreak of the war, and she and her son Yelabuga, who was evacuated together to the interior of the Tatar Autonomous Republic, still dreams of being reunited with her husband. It was a small village where Tsvetaeva had no means of earning a living.In a letter to the head of the Kazan Writers' Union, she asked for a job as a literary translator.Apart from literature, she has nothing to do. However, in the midst of war and chaos, who would care about the fate of a lowly man?No one answered her. Tsvetayeva also went to Chistopol by boat to apply to the Council of the Writers Association, requesting that the mother and son be arranged to live and work here, and hoped to find a place in the cafeteria to be opened by the Writers Foundation. Bowl work.However, the heads of the Writers Association, Aseyev and Trenyov, rejected her request.She had no choice but to return to Yelabuga in despair. When her son replaced her with migrant workers to build fortifications, Tsvetayeva left three suicide notes in tears and hanged herself in her room to death. Before she died, she still remembered the opera she went to watch with her mother for the first time when she was a child.At that time, she was only six years old. According to her age, she should have liked fairy tale dramas, but she fell in love with Pushkin's Onegin and Tatiana, and fell in love with their love. Many years later, she said: "The first love scene I watched predestined everything about my future, all the passions of an unfortunate, not mutual, and unrealizable love in my heart. I precisely from that moment I never wanted to be a happy woman, so I was doomed to be loveless." I pity Tsvetaeva's fate and hate those who took part in her defeat and destruction - such as the leaders of the Writers' Union. The so-called "Writers' Association" is actually "the association that persecutes writers." What hurt Tsvetaeva most was the loss of love.Without love, there is no reason to live. But we are much luckier than her, we got a love as sweet as honey. Unlike Tsvetaeva, dear Suan, you are indeed beautiful.Your beauty is born, you don't need poetry to crown you. The last time I came to Beijing, when you were sleeping soundly on the pillow, I watched you from the sidelines, and I watched you quietly for an hour. It was really "never tired of watching you a thousand times". At that time, you were asleep and you didn't know it.And I don't know what your dream is like. I send your bare arms under the covers.Your slender arms are like a lotus root in a water town in the south of the Yangtze River. At that time, I thought, it would be nice if time stopped like this.We never parted again, we hugged and put all work aside. Because of love, you might as well enjoy the taste of laziness that you have never enjoyed before. It's a pity that the fastest time to go is always the happy time. Tingsheng who loves and kisses you all the time fourth of july 2000 Xiao Xuaner, my life partner: Today is my first day out of school.Early in the morning, I went to report to the literary research institution where I was going to work. Suddenly, they informed me that my registration procedures were frozen and they no longer accepted me.So, are the agreements and contracts written in black and white in my hand irresponsibly invalidated? On the first day I left Peking University, the evil finally came and gnawed on my heels like a mad dog.It didn't dare to rush forward, but only dared to bite me secretly behind me. I kicked it over with a kick. I had long expected that I would have a narrow encounter with evil. When I was at Peking University, although I was under pressure, "it's good to enjoy the shade under the big tree". With a teacher who loves me like Mr. Fei Zhengang to protect me from the wind and rain, I can live freely.I know that once I leave Peking University and this big tree, I will face all the wind and rain directly by myself.I expected it, I just didn't expect it to come so quickly and so dramatically. No one explained to me why.They just said vaguely that this was an order from above, and there was nothing they could do about it. So, I went to the "upper" - the so-called "upper" is the huge organization in charge of writers' affairs.My behavior resembles that of Lin Chong breaking into the White Tiger Hall.However, Lin Chong "went in by mistake", but I did it on purpose. I want to "ask for an explanation" like Qiu Ju.However, the cunning bureaucrats didn't give me an explanation, they couldn't come up with a "hand letter".So we started arguing. Suddenly, a large group of people rushed out from the office in all directions.They insulted me as soon as they came up, and a strong man even wanted to reach out and hit me. His eyes showed wolf eyes, which reminded me of Mr. Lu Xun's description in the book. Why do they hate me so much? It turned out that my initiative to come to the door hurt their self-esteem as a "quasi-bureaucrat".They thought to themselves, you are a fresh graduate, we can treat you as we want, and you dare to come to your door to "ask for an explanation", aren't you "reverse"? When they saw me arguing with their boss, they immediately felt that it was time for performance and a chance for promotion.The harder they attacked me, the more their superiors appreciated their "loyalty". In this world, there are many people who live by the principle of dogs. According to people familiar with the matter, I was rejected by this research institution initiated by Mr. Ba Jin because some of my articles caused trouble.I don't know if this is the crux of the problem, but I believe that a citizen has the freedom to think, speak and write within the limits allowed by the Constitution and laws.All my papers and articles have been published in newspapers and magazines publicly published by the state, and all my works have been published by official state publishing houses.In a legal sense, I am unafraid to take responsibility for every article, every word I write. For an article or a book, as a reader (of course including some officials of different levels), of course, the wise see the wisdom, and the benevolent see benevolence.As an author, I will also humbly listen to criticisms from all sides (including, of course, some officials' criticisms).Of course, after my independent thinking, whether to accept these opinions is also my freedom. If some people have different views on my writing position and the specific viewpoints in the article, they can communicate and communicate with me directly, or convey it to me through other channels. Furthermore, if some people believe that any of my articles or opinions violate the current laws and regulations, or even have "political leanings", they can point out and criticize them in public, and then use legal means to deal with them. However, some people neither exchanged opinions with me in private, nor publicly announced the problems with my words, but took the most equal method-it was a black-box operation behind the scenes, and it was transmitted layer by layer through phone calls. Command, shoot me a hidden weapon fed with poison.They tried to silence voices by taking away my right to work as a citizen. However, the era of "no food" for intellectuals is over.If you don't give me food here, I can get food there.As long as I have a head, and hands, and can write, I won't starve to death.I believe that my ability to survive is much stronger than that of some bureaucrats - if they don't have official positions, under the conditions of a complete market economy, these guys who can't do anything but be officials will have to starve to death.In today's Russia, aren't there many "political cadres" who were domineering in the former Soviet Union, because they couldn't adapt to the changing era and didn't have any skills, and finally became relief recipients? And I, besides writing, can do a lot of things, even rough physical work--today, surviving is not too difficult, unlike the desperate situation faced by Tsvetayeva, leaving There is only one dead end for her. In Kundera's "The Unbearable Lightness of Being", the protagonist Thomas is deprived of the right to practice medicine by the authorities, although he is an excellent surgeon.Those were the dark days when Soviet troops marched straight into Prague.As an intellectual, it was impossible for Thomas not to express his protest. Because of this expression, Thomas "automatically" descended to the bottom of society.At first, he worked in a rural clinic about fifty miles from Prague, commuting by train every day, and was exhausted by the time he got home. A year later, he tried to find a stronger job, but got a lower position in a clinic outside Prague.It was impossible for him to do his job of surgery there, and he became a general product for everything. However, it is such a job that Thomas has also been harassed.The secret police of the State Ministry of Internal Affairs invited him to drink, tricked him into making a statement of repentance, and promised that once he repented, he would return to the original hospital and use his expertise. Thomas declined.The doctor is an employee of the state, and the "state" will again put pressure on him.However, his position remained unchanged.So he became a window washer. He went to the clinic and resigned just the day after the personable secret policeman spoke to him.He reckoned that after he voluntarily relegated to the lowest rung of the social hierarchy (thousands of tons of intellectuals in various fields were devolved in this way at the time), the police would no longer hold on to him and would do nothing to him. interest. Once he was on the bottom rung of the ladder, they could no longer make statements in his name.The reason is very simple, no one will believe it.This kind of humiliating public statement will only be related to the signers who are on the rise, not the signers who have stumbled. He wandered the streets of Prague with brush and pole, feeling ten years younger.The sales girls called him "Doctor" and asked him questions about their colds, backaches, irregular periods.They seemed a little embarrassed to watch him pour water over the glass, tie a brush to the end of a pole, and start washing.Whenever they had a chance to get rid of the customer, they would take the pole out of his hand and wash it for him. This episode left a deep impression on me when I was in middle school.I swore at that time: Thomas' choice will also be my choice. Walking out of that "quasi-bureaucratic" building, I looked at the gloomy sky in Beijing, but my mood improved surprisingly.I ran to the public phone booth on the street to call a few good friends and asked them to eat Chongqing hot pot in "Jinshan City". In the evening, we ate dozens of dishes and drank dozens of bottles of beer. They didn't comfort me because they knew I didn't need comfort. They didn't encourage me either because they knew I didn't need encouragement. Let's chat together, what a joy.Most of them were so-called "freelancers" who toasted me and congratulated me on entering their ranks. We were the last table to leave.Every plate was empty when we left. 我没有遭到侮辱，遭到侮辱的是那些企图侮辱我的人；我没有感到恐惧，感到恐惧的是那些在帷幕背后玩把戏的人。 我的心灵的澄明和欢乐，就是对他们最好的回击。战争还没有开始，我就胜利了。 亲爱的宁萱，即使我什么都没有了，只要我有你，我也比那些嚣张的官僚们幸福一百倍。 回到家里，我在睡觉前翻开纪伯伦的文集。真巧，我一下子就看到了那篇名叫《星相学家》的散文诗： 在圣殿门前的影下，我的朋友与我见到一个盲人安静地坐在那里。我的朋友说："看，那是本地最有智慧的人。 " 于是我丢下朋友，走到盲人面前向他致意，我们攀谈起来。 言谈间我问："恕我冒昧，您自何时起双目失明？" "出生以来。"他回答道。 我又问："那么你是追循哪条智慧之径而行的呢？" 他答道："我是个星相学家。" 他把手贴在胸前，接着说："我观察着各种恒星，卫星及所有星宿。" 是的，当浅薄者嘲笑盲人的时候，他却不知道自己的内心一片漆黑，而盲人的内心星光灿烂。 谁真正理解这个世界？ 谁真正生活在快乐之中？ 这个世界上，究竟谁是盲人呢？ 这个世界上，究竟谁是智慧的人呢？ love you forever tingsheng 两千年七月六日