Chapter 11 Chapter Eleven

She got off the bus a few stops before my destination, so I remembered a place called "Wuyuan" for the rest of my life.Every time the train arrives at a station, the car is in a panic as usual. Some people get off with their luggage and others get on the train, crowding and yelling, but the timid man remains calm and stays calm under the dim lights. Letting go of my surveillance, she seemed a little surprised that I didn't get out of the car with her.Carrying a zipper bag in one hand and a mesh bag in the other, she struggled to get out of the seat.When she reached the passageway, she turned her head and hastily met my gaze, but the only light in the world was extinguished by the crowd behind after just a flicker.Since then, she has flowed into the vast sea of ​​people with the flow of people, and I can no longer find her eyes or eyes like hers.

Although she gave me the energy of a man on the train, which aroused my desire to have a "marital life" with a woman or "estrus", but half a "marital life" with a real woman is in a few days. years later. Under the political slogan of "one day is equal to twenty years", the situation has indeed changed a lot after a few years. The farm team has long been disbanded, and monsters and monsters have come out of the cage and stepped onto the stage. At that time, it was called "recovery work".Now those who are in charge are in charge and those who are in charge are in charge. This kind of rotation that does not require voting is said to be "true democracy that can only be found under the dictatorship of the proletariat."Thinking back, it was unnecessary and ridiculous to "find a breakthrough" on the menstrual paper. The "capitalist roader" became the head of the field again, and he had no excuse to use "state property" instead of toilet paper to take revenge on Xiao Li Xiaowang in the infirmary. The "capitalist-roader" did not "fight against the stink" but was feared by the fight. After being tempered by the "Cultural Revolution Movement that trained all cadres", he would never stick to his principles and take the initiative to work, so I also forgive him for not specifically Set up a team of "released prisoners through labor reform" and asked me to be the captain.Sometimes he went back to the original location of the special team, that is, the production team where I worked, to inspect. When he saw me, he just nodded and stopped praising that I had been remodeled.Of course, I wouldn't pretend to ask him why he broke his promise. As soon as he becomes an official, he immediately forgets what he said in the past.

But in good conscience, my situation has improved a lot after all.Because the revolutionary masses were no longer enthusiastic about revolution after losing their power, they realized that daily necessities such as daily necessities, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea were far more important to them than the revolution, and socialism at that time could not "serve the people" well. Seven things to open the door", working women still use a stiff newspaper with "serve the people" printed on them to pad their menstrual belts, anyway, that kind of political propaganda is inexhaustible.As a result, the revolutionary masses began to complain, they didn't work when they went to work, they didn't work hard, and they "told strange things" in groups in the fields with shovels.Those "strange words" were much more reactionary than the rightist speeches in 1957, and I, a rightist, was regarded by them as one of their own, and the revolutionary masses called me an "old rightist" with their own eyes.

Originally, I could apply for an upper room, but my mother died alone in the huge Beijing before I could settle myself down.Please let me omit this paragraph. I have the right to try my best to avoid the history that will make me collapse just like those who deliberately avoid the "Cultural Revolution".They thought that if everyone talked less about the "Cultural Revolution", the "Cultural Revolution" would just be forgotten in the memory of the nation. Sure enough, today's college students don't know much about the real historical appearance of the "Great Leap Forward" and the "Cultural Revolution". Diminishing, so that without knowing it, a myth of consistent greatness and correctness that cannot be surpassed by future generations has been established among nations suffering from amnesia.So, is it true that if I try not to talk about my mother, my mother will gradually disappear in my memory?In order to save my spirit from suffering, I would like to try it.

On the farm, the life of a single farm worker without a family is relatively simple: "Two full and one empty, there is not even an oil bottle at home, the whole family is covered by the bed quilt, and there is no woman waiting for him on the kang. If people don’t ask him to work, he’s too idle.” Therefore, there is an unwritten rule in the production team, as if bachelors must work more than workers with families.Whenever encountering overtime work or heavy labor, the team leader always asks the bachelor to go.Although the revolutionary masses have regarded me as an ordinary person in politics, they all agree that I am a special labor force. Life is simple, labor is good, and there are no women waiting for me. It has almost become a tool for everyone.The woman with whom I had half-time "married life" and who gave me a lot of inspiration met in this situation.

My production team leader is a demobilized soldier. I have never seen him walking with a shovel like others. He always runs back and forth on the ground with the shovel in his arms, letting the shovel hit the ground. one slice.In spring, summer, autumn and winter, he doesn't button up his jacket. He is short and fat, and his clothes that are too big and too fat are always opened, as if he had grown a pair of wings, so he won the title of "sparrow". " nickname. "Sparrow" is not only cynical, but also likes to make jokes with political language, and never turns around and plays tricks on people, and speaks straightforwardly.One day he told me that he wanted to find a way to transfer his wife from another group to the group he managed to work with me. I asked him why, and he said bluntly so that I could work more than his wife .I said that you would fucking take advantage of it, and he said that if you have an advantage, you don’t take advantage of it. "An official has the power not to expire, and I, a petty official, will use your power when I have power."

Soon, "Sparrow" really tricked the captain to transfer his wife to our group.On the first day he went to work, in front of the whole group of workers, he suggested that his wife and I form a "one-to-one pair". "One group - one pair of red", "it's good to have heart-to-heart talks", "to fight against selfishness and criticize the revision" and so on were all popular words at that time. By the way, he also said: "It is also convenient to supervise this 'old right' Well!" After speaking, he hurriedly bowed to me, "Just kidding! Don't take it to heart, old man."

"Sparrow"'s wife sat on the ridge of the field, holding the soles of her shoes, and while smiling, she scolded "Sparrow" and "son of a bitch" and glanced at me. "Sparrow"'s wife is no more than thirty years old, and she looks very straight and has big eyes. Her question to me seems to give me a hard blow, reminding me of her I met on the train.Later I learned that she was also from the "Wuyuan" area, and was born in a place called "Baiyanhua" in Uradqian Banner.She also told me that there are beauties in that place, "with puffy faces, curved eyebrows, slender waists, flat stomachs, big breasts, and upturned buttocks."Whenever she introduces a part, she rubs that part of her body with her hands, driving her whole body to twist, thus making her introduction very vivid and specific.She fits her introduction perfectly by herself, so her introduction is actually a show off.When she was introduced, I thought to myself that she was about the same size as her on the train, but the light on the train was too dim.A few years later, "measurement" has become the fashion standard for a woman's figure, but how can the fixed mechanical figure reflect the beauty of a woman's roundness and beauty?Since then, her figure has become a special standard for me to see women. Later, in Paris, I saw that all the models were eclipsed by her.

But at the beginning, she was indeed a burden to my work. For example, when the group digs ditches collectively, each person is divided into sections of 20 meters, and the "pair of red" is 40 meters. I was digging alone, but she just shoveled the floating soil and repaired the side of the canal. Most of the time, she stood listlessly with a shovel and looked around. Call it a day.During the break, it seemed that I had just woken up and started to be active.She likes to sing a local opera called "Errentai". To be precise, it should be "humming" rather than "singing", because I have never heard her sing a complete song, and she probably doesn't remember a complete opera. So far, I recall that she only heard the melodious and melodious hum, but I don't know what she hummed.The tone of her preface is simple and natural, the rhythm is elastic, and has a strong sense of jumping. It has the open artistic conception of the Loess Plateau, giving people a very distant and cheerful feeling. It is refreshing and refreshing to listen to her humming when tired of listening to revolutionary songs. Beautiful.

Once I said that you hum very well, but can you tell me what words you sang, she said that she didn’t mean anything, just to relieve her “anxiety” (anxiety), the libretto is made up now, Sing whatever comes to mind.I said I was working for you and you were still "anxious" while watching you, did you say I was "anxious"?She said that if you are "anxious", I will sing one for you.As she spoke she sang with a smile: She sang and laughed, and I laughed too.I said that I really can't help you, so you can just "look from the sidelines".She bent down laughing, and sang:

If two people do "occasional jobs", I do more. "Odd jobs" include many farming projects: irrigation, manure, threshing livestock, raising fields and other scattered chores that only need one or two people to do.As soon as we "did odd jobs", she never arrived at the construction site on time, and I did almost half of the quota. She walked slowly with a shovel or sickle on her shoulders, and trotted a few steps in front of me when I was within sight. Just pretending to be out of breath can always come up with a set of reasons, either to cook for "Sparrow" or the child is sick and needs to go to the infirmary.Later, I confirmed that it was mostly true. She has three children, big and small. No wonder "Sparrow" tried to reduce her labor in the production team so that she could free up her hands to do housework.I can also see that when she walked into my line of sight and began to trot, she actually showed respect to me and felt uneasy because she was late. If she put on a "revolutionary" style that is superior to me like the general public, she will come late It's late, there's no need to put on a show in front of me, what can I do to her? One time she came late for a very special reason, it was in the horse manure, early in the morning I had already raised half of the horse manure, and the sun was on the roof, and she was dragging tiredly with the shovel to the construction site.I complained, "You're fine, but you're exhausted before your work is done. What did you do all morning?"She smiled and sighed: "How would you know! 'Sparrow' gets up x times every morning, no x does not get up. Alas..." The x represent two words, the former is a verb and the latter is a noun, which are common language used by working people, including prisoners, and must not be elegant.I also laughed, imitating her tone and saying that if he wants to x you, you will not let him x. Is it important to work or to do that thing?With a resigned yet willing expression on her face, she sighed again and said: "Hey! What can I do? Be a woman to a man. Whenever a man wants to x, he has to support a man and let a man x." This made me suddenly understand the wife of "Er Ganzi". The "Er Ganzi" introduced that "she is from the countryside" has a deep meaning. No wonder "Er Ganzi" wants to live a "marital life" with her in front of a stranger. She had no choice but to obey, obediently lay down on the sack, and "supported" her man. The context of Chinese has changed a lot after the "Cultural Revolution", and the biggest change is the vulgarization.All the traditional concepts of "indecent" verbs, nouns, colloquial dialects, and "national curses" have come to the fore, and even generously become literary and official languages, such as "political situation" and "shit pile" and so on. It can be blamed that the spoken language of ordinary people is becoming more and more outspoken and unspeakable.I think the surname is probably the situation that Confucius said "the ritual collapses and the music deteriorates".The dialogue between me and her in the stables was fairly "civilized", and I didn't openly discuss X's whole process in detail.At that time, when working in a rural farm factory, besides firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea, sex was also the main topic of the working people. The farmers and workers who brought their families together chatted vividly, often accompanied by action performances, which made a bachelor like me Salivating and thinking about others. Usually, she can be forgiven for being late. If the child is sick, of course she should go to the doctor. A family of five is enough for her to have breakfast, but today I am working hard in Ma Guo early in the morning alone because "Sparrow" sleeps on the kang It was time to practice his morning exercises, so I couldn't help but complain, so I called "Sparrow" a bastard, saying that he was not much different from the animals hanging in the stable.Leaning on the horse's pillar with a shovel, she opened her beautiful lips and yawned big. While looking into her eyes, she justified the "sparrow" as plainly as talking about daily necessities: "It can't be completely dependent on 'Sparrow' wanting to x me, I also want 'Sparrow' to X early in the morning, sometimes I encourage him to come to justice!" I laughed so hard I almost fell on the horse manure pile.I said, "I convinced you!" She put down her hand rubbing her eyes and asked in surprise, "What do you believe me?" I said I convinced you of your astonishing frankness.She regards "frankness" as the "confession" commonly used in great criticism, and said with a smile: "'Leniency' for 'confession', 'strictness' for resistance. Let me tell you why you should be 'leniency' when you come late. Besides, you don't suffer if you are more than a little bit, and you are idle if you are idle. Come on, what else are you going to do? Or you also find a woman to x?" All my conversations with her were conversations like this.She is good at associating everything with sex. For example, when the work we do requires me to climb high, she will raise her head below and warn me like this: "Be careful that you fall and break your ball." " "Ball" referring to male genitalia, or: "Be careful your ass breaks into eight pieces!" It seems that the place where I hurt is always the lower part of the body.If the handle of the shovel or sickle is not planed and smooth, and it is difficult to use, she will complain: "It's better to hold a ball for comfort or: one is as thin as a ball!" The silt accumulated in the mouth of the canal caused the water to flow poorly. She would say that the mouth of the canal was "as small as a hole" and "the water flowed like pee".Today, as I write this, there is her figure running across the field again.Once, she and I watered a wheat field, and a section of the ridge was washed away by the water. I couldn't stand it alone, so I had to shout anxiously to her for help.She ran towards me from a distance, and her two breasts, as she called them, were trembling in the tattered yarn vest like two round jelly snakes. Standing in the torrent with a shovel, she stared blankly at her swaying chest.When she got close, she noticed my foolish demeanor, so she deliberately ran and jumped to make the breast tremble more intensely and joyfully, and laughed rhythmically with the breast trembling and shouted loudly: "Hee hee eagle! Kagagabu...· "It seems that the vibration of the breasts will make a sound, and it is also like the rhythm that accompanies the whirling breasts.I glanced at her breasts when we were plugging the gap, and found that the grooves in her breasts were deeper than those of the "second pole" wife, and the breasts vibrated with the swing of her shovel, full of elasticity.Suddenly, she both distraught me and gave me a strong urge to run a finger or two down the ditch.We finally blocked the gap, and she turned her head and smiled and asked me: "Interesting to smoke?" "Interesting?" is the question she always asks me after she says "saucy words" (this is her dialect) or performs her body movements.Of course, I would answer repeatedly, "Interesting, interesting! Really interesting!" I did gradually feel that working with her was "interesting", very "interesting"!Even if working with her will increase my burden, I am willing to increase my physical expenditure.This imperceptibly mobilized me to work more actively, and I was able to complete or even exceed the task every time, so we were often praised by the team leader "Sparrow" and the production team leader. "Sparrow" once even pretended to say at the "Group Mao Zedong Thought Lecture Meeting" that the two of us "a gang-a couple of reds" really made progress for both of us, and both of us became "red". He himself "implemented the results of the latest instructions of the Great Leader". If it was a rare holiday, I would feel lonely without seeing her for a day, and sometimes I would lie on the kang and wonder what she was doing at home now.When I go to work the next day, she will definitely tell me in detail the housework she did the day before: laundry, cooking, briquettes, taking the children to sew, and so on.Unlike other women, she never complained about the hardships of life and the shortage of supplies, but she would try her best to find substitutes for the means of living.Once, she used a vacation day to disassemble the urea bag imported from Japan and used it as fabric, and sewed it into a small sweater and skirt-like half-length trousers to wear to work. The whole body smelled like urine. I laughed and satirized her Say you said you were "Show", today you really are "Show", just like you just ran out of the toilet.She giggled, twirling triumphantly in front of me with both hands holding the sides of the half-length trousers, and raised her toes very naturally.At that time, there were no catwalks in China, let alone fashion models. She may be the pioneer of Chinese fashion models. A few years later, I saw an article in a magazine saying that the chemical fiber textiles specially used as packaging materials are extremely harmful to the skin and can cause skin cancer.But her clothes, sewn with thin urea bags, flowed more and accentuated her figure. At least when we were apart, she didn't have any symptoms of skin cancer.At that time, I didn't know how to describe her figure. I didn't know how to use words like "sensual" and "sexy" until I entered the 1980s.At the same time, the kind of skirt-like half-length women's trousers were actually called "skorts", which began to become fashionable in Western Europe and immediately became popular in China. I saw her everywhere and often made me feel sad. However, at that time she was wearing half trousers made of Japanese fertilizer bags, which seemed very funny to me. The word "Japan" was just sewn on her buttocks, with "日" on one side and "Ben" on the other, but she didn't even have "" I don't know the two words "old version", obviously it was not intentional.When she was doing a fashion show, I discovered "Japan" and laughed, but she thought I was laughing at her ass, so she stopped and bent down, pouted her ass in front of me, and said with a smile: "Look, look, look! I'll let you see all the women's asses!" So "Japan" swelled even bigger before my eyes. Usually, after chatting about housework, she would never forget to describe how she and "Sparrow" had a "married life".Of course, she will not use civilized vocabulary like the "two poles" who graduated from the agricultural university, but directly use a verb plus a noun to express.She said that she sometimes felt "heart-worried", "'Sparrow' was as thin as a shovel, and Ged made my bones ache. "Sparrow" also liked to drink, drinking the low-quality strong wine made from dried sweet potatoes, she wrinkled Brows describe: "Mouth smells like a big cesspool! "I think this seems to be her biggest "anxiety". Besides, she is always happy. For example, when we were mowing grass or wheat, mosquitoes, cows, and horses flew all over the sky, and rushed towards people's heads and faces. Mosquitoes, crabs, and flying insects called "little bites" can get into the eyes, nostrils, and mouths. They bite people all over their faces, and their bodies are red and swollen. This is what I am most afraid of and most "anxious". There was a canal next to it for me to jump in and submerge my whole body in the water. But she didn't seem to care, fluttering like a butterfly and shouting with a smile: "Mosquitoes like me, flies like me, mice like me, sparrows like me too!  …" In her eyes, there seems to be no people or animals in the world who don’t like her, and she also seems to like all the people and animals in the world. She is the only person I have ever seen who lives sluggishly.For another example, she just narrated the "marital life", and before scolding the "sparrow" who likes her enough, she would immediately perform Yangko happily.She can change seventy-two expressions in an instant. She not only likes to sing "Errentai" but also likes to twist Yangko, and she will not give up until she is out of breath and collapses to the ground every time.I think the word "enjoyment" was probably created just for her.Her stage is field ridges, canal dams, wheat fields that have been harvested, wastelands that have been mowed, and even next to the horse pens, sheep huts, and pig team toilets.In short, as long as the two of us are "doing odd jobs", she will take up the job whenever she is happy.I was sweating and working behind my back, and she was twisting the yangko at the side, and the yangko was twisted to the ground, still gasping for breath and asked me with a smile: "Interesting difference!" I have never seen her twisted yangko elsewhere. Although I am not an expert, I can also see that her dancing posture is absolutely not in line with the norms. It is like a puppet whose joints are connected by strings and is lifted by a puppeteer. If it was another person who twisted, she would definitely be ugly, but when she twisted, she looked lively and cute, innocent, with a mischievous smile on her face, and at the same time, she said "Come with me!" Wang choke! Kabuke Wangcho! Choke Bulun laughing hahaha..." the instrumental accompaniment.She once proudly said that she didn't need others to accompany her with musical instruments, and claimed that "I bring my own dog skin strings."I still don't know if there really is a folk instrument called "Goupixianzi" or if she is just a self-deprecating joke.In fact, she is very good at acting. For a while, she picks a tree branch as a tobacco stick and puts it on her mouth to pretend to be an old man Twist; , with many changes and tricks, her "self-contained dog skin string" is always "accompanied by disagreement"! Although I think it's "interesting", I often laugh and scold her that she has the strength to twist Yangko, so she should do more work.Of course, she will never obey me, and she still does not make mistakes. Ten years later, I went to the famous Paris Opera House to watch the sensational postmodern ballet "Swan Lake" in Paris, only to find that she is the originator of Western postmodern dance: all movements are anti-dance traditions, and should not be performed on stage. You can dance as you want, and the gestures are completely in accordance with the momentary mood of the actors. The body movements are purely natural. The aesthetic value of this kind of dance can only be appreciated by truly postmodern or truly primitive people. After watching the post-modernist "Swan Lake", I didn't hire a taxi or take the subway. I walked all the way to Montmartre, where the Paris Commune members fought last.I sat down on the steps in front of the famous "White Chapel", the whole Montmartre was empty, even the coffee shop was closed.During the day, artists gather here to paint, and at night they melt into the deep darkness.I suddenly felt boundless loneliness. "Interesting?" "Yes, it's really interesting!" Looking up at the starry sky in Paris, faint wisps of clouds were floating towards the east. Where is the "meaning"?Everything suddenly became meaningless.Paris lies at my feet as plain as water, only she emerges from the water in the moonlight... "Interesting! It's really interesting!" She is also from another planet, and she doesn't belong to this world full of power and materialism.She has not been polluted by "socialization" or "revolutionization" at all, and she never speaks popular political language. On the contrary, she uses her natural, simple, rough and primitive appearance to make all "revolutionary" ideologies and so-called civilizations disappear in an instant. Fall apart.She is like the ancestor of people who ran down from Banpo Village or earlier caves on the top of the mountain, making modern people recognize the prototype of "human".She will make people feel what is sincerity and what is human nature.Once, she brought some fried soybeans to the field and we ate them together. Although she never brushed her teeth, her teeth were white and firm. Those sharp teeth chewed the soybeans so that they rattled and the strong fragrance of soybeans flowed from her mouth. It continues to spread to the field.Seeing that I was having a hard time chewing, she volunteered and said that I would chew for you.But how to deliver it to my mouth after chewing has become a problem.She stretched out her tongue and asked me to pick it up with a "wow", and there was a ball of soybean paste wrapped in her tongue on the tip of her tongue.I was at a loss with a smile, but she took the soybean paste on the tip of her tongue and stuffed it into my mouth, and I had no choice but to swallow it disrespectfully.