Chapter 9 Chapter nine

A few years later, CCTV interviewed me live, and the host asked me to sum up the feelings of "celebrity going to sea" over the past few years in one sentence.Ups and downs, bittersweet, I feel a lot, but I am not prepared to express it in one sentence. How can I refine and condense it in an instant?However, facing the camera, I naturally thought of the TV screen, and from the TV screen, I thought of the advertisements that appeared the most on the screen. Without thinking, I expressed my emotions when I usually saw certain advertisements, and I said: "To realize the best interests of the individual, one must first put the needs of others first, so the market economy is essentially an economy 'serving the people'."

After the program was broadcast, many people thought that this sentence was very exciting, and it extracted the essence of the market economy. Many newspapers and periodicals also reprinted and quoted it, but the audience and readers must not have imagined how my words were played out on the spot.As I said before, when I get old, my feelings about life will be based on the experience of that year.My ignorance and blood-stained newspapers left a deep impression on me back then. Now every time I see an advertisement for women's sanitary napkins on TV, those blood-stained "serving the people" will definitely appear before my eyes again.I am amazed at the variety of brands and specifications of women's sanitary napkins today, which are dizzying and can probably all meet the needs of women on various occasions.Frankly, I am less moved by the abundance of any commodity supply than by a small sanitary napkin.Women are no longer tormented by hard newspapers, and "serving the people" has finally got rid of menstrual blood stains and regained its original meaning; China needs social reform and the difficulty of reforming is because of the empty checks of "serving the people" written in the past Too much and must be cashed out today.

From this, I often think: making money is of course the primary purpose of every businessman, and to make money, you must always investigate, research, experiment and meet people's needs in life. Earn your money.Commercial activity is actually an activity of mutual satisfaction and mutual service; in a market economy, everyone has a dual identity, both a buyer and a seller. A successful commercial activity is that I serve you and you serve me.On the surface, it seems that everyone only cares about themselves, but objectively, everyone is serving others while enjoying the services of others, and enjoying the services of others while serving others.How much each person earns depends on how much he can meet the needs of others. If he can't serve people well, he will suffer losses immediately.If any individual wants to pursue his own interests to the greatest extent, he must serve others to the greatest extent.In the final analysis, the competition between businessmen is to strive to serve customers better than their opponents, that is, "serve the people". The failure and loss of one side of the competition will bring greater benefits to customers, the people and society, and enhance the people's morale. Level of enjoyment and social progress.It can even be said that improving people's enjoyment level and promoting social progress must be at the cost of failure of some commercial activities.However, the losers in commercial activities are not fixed, and everyone has an innate instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, and strive to be strong, so it stimulates everyone's competitiveness and infinitely stimulates the vitality of people and society.This is the "biological y" of the market economy society. In this way, the slogan of "serving the eyes of the people" is truly implemented and runs through all links.

Although life turns human emotions upside down for me to observe, which makes me feel that people are not worthy of pity, but life upside down makes me feel that people should still have compassion.Because later I met a woman by chance, and she used her pity to finally root pity deep in my heart.This made me unwilling to give up an opportunity to help others even though I knew I would be deceived. Fortunately, I did not complete the glorious task entrusted to me by the "Traitors and Anti-Capitalist", and I did not find any bloody newspapers with the "Supreme Instructions" or leaders' portraits printed on them. That is to say, I did not participate in any "political struggle". One by one, the revolutionary masses on the farm began to liberate ghosts and monsters, and the first one to be liberated was me, a dead tiger.

After all, I worked with the "traitors and anti-capitalists" for more than a year. When I left the group, the ghosts and monsters reluctantly said goodbye to me. The "capitalist-roaders" praised me for being reformed. In the future, he will definitely assign me to be the captain of all the "released prisoners" on the farm, so that all "released prisoners" can learn from me.Although I didn't send any family members of the "revolutionary cadres" to be shot, the former director of the political department, the "traitor", didn't care about it. He still sincerely held my hand and encouraged me to reform after I got out. The "second pole" spattered and said that he finally discovered that there are good people among the "five types of elements", and that he must pay attention to Chairman Mao's "different treatment" policy when he continues the revolution in the future.Some asked me to send a message to his family, saying that he would be able to return home soon.Their enthusiasm brought tears to my eyes too.

After leaving the group special team, they are not formal workers, but work with regular workers as controlled rightists.I was still a leader in the group task force, but working with regular workers, I became the only object of supervision under the eyes of everyone. The leniency of the revolutionary masses made me even more uncomfortable.From the reform-through-labour team to the special group team and then to the normal society, things went from bad to worse in me, so I almost planted a "re-education through labor complex" in my consciousness. But to my surprise, the "Revolutionary Committee" of the farm where the revolutionary masses held power actually approved me to go back to Beijing to visit my mother. Based on this violation of the rules at the time, I still believe that no matter how chaotic the society is, people and animals will be separated. There is still a difference.Besides, this visit to family leave was not at my request, but when we were all working in the fields, a little "boss" chatted happily with me and said by accident: "You can still go home to visit relatives!" I hurriedly asked what procedures are required for family leave, and he casually said that you just need to make a report and give it to me, and winked at me when he said this.I don't understand what he meant by winking his eyes. I observed that he didn't have the habit of winking, but why did he wink at me when he said this?His movements made me think for a long time, trying to figure out what hints or overtones he had.After a few years, when my nerves became normal, I realized that more than half of the actions in the world are unconscious, and therefore more than half of the thinking in the world is meaningless thinking.

Reports for family leave were quickly approved.I climbed onto the train with only thirty or so yuan.This little money was lent to me by the "traitors and anti-capitalists" together.In the labor reform team, I heard that there is no money to take the train now, but it was only when I got on the train that I realized that the good old days of the "big series" have passed. Each car is like carrying oil in its intestines to check for fugitives and those who don't like to buy tickets. "Educated youth", it can be seen that the news heard by the special team of the labor reform team is always late.But although I have no money, I have "adolescence". The conductor kept checking me down and I kept climbing. I took the train for more than 1,000 kilometers for seven days and finally arrived in Beijing. I slept in free for six nights. waiting room.The advantage of having "adolescence" is that you can travel around the world without money.

Now I ask readers to forgive me for not writing about how I met my mother.In another novel of mine entitled (Habits of Dying), I have a little narrative, and even there I don't want to write too much.I am similar to my dead friend, I want to keep the most precious things to myself.A writer always has his own private spiritual property; in his life's emotions and encounters, some things are closely connected with his whole life.That is the foundation of my life and the root system of my life. If the roots are exposed to the outside, I will no longer be able to absorb the nutrients in the soil well.If any writer digs out the root system and sells it, it means that he has exhausted his talents and is about to wither.The life I have lived through most of my life has been too rich, and my mother is my motivation to use these rich and heavy lives.Now I hang a picture of my mother holding me on the wall of my study, and her smile encourages me to keep writing.

She has been reduced from a noble lady to an old woman who lives by hand-knitting sweaters on the street, and she still maintains an elegant demeanor.I think that only women who have received higher education in the old society can withstand the repeated torture of life.Although she is short and skinny, she is a carrier of culture, even if she becomes a fossil, she is admirable; she seems to be a statue sculpted by an aristocratic civilization, which is specially reserved for future generations to look at the past time that will never return, and time The more it goes, the more it will emit a classic luster and become newer with time.Her old man and I had just spent three days of happy family fun together when I was arrested by the "Small Feet Detective Squad".I think the term "Small Foot Detective Team" should be listed as one of the important entries in the dictionary of China's "Cultural Revolution", which is an example of pervasive autocratic rule.A group of illiterate "neighborhood committee" old women and young women have the right to arrest anyone they think is suspicious in the majestic capital. At that time, suspicious people were constantly being caught, forcing them to work day and night like talking police dogs. Excitedly searched from house to house.Once captured, they are handed over to the police station, which is both their headquarters and responsible for collecting their catch.However, the police station in the dignified capital actually detained the arrested male and female suspects indiscriminately together, creating the first record in the history of world prisons where men and women were mixed.

Guan Wo's police station is located in the most prosperous area of ​​Beijing. The two-entry ornate courtyard house was originally the official residence of a first-rank official in the Qing Dynasty.This should be a concentrated expression of Chinese urban civilization, but the police station only allocated a one-story house of less than 30 square meters in the huge courtyard, and detained more than 40 men and women.More than forty male and female suspects defecated and defecated into a tin bucket, and when it was full, the suspects on duty asked to empty it into the toilet in the backyard.I still can’t figure out whether the police station is because of housing shortages, or whether it’s a deliberate arrangement to violate human dignity, or whether it’s a “complete revolution” in the concept of differences between men and women, so as to speed up the realization of the great leader’s vision of “men and women are the same” call.Fortunately, the ghosts and snakes gave me a common knowledge class on women's hygiene, otherwise I would definitely make a fuss when I saw a female suspect changing menstrual paper in front of me.The female suspect couldn't care less about being ashamed here, she either turned her front to everyone or her back to everyone, and the front and back are the most secret parts of a woman, so she had to simply disclose them openly and completely.It is worth mentioning that among the more than 40 suspects, there are seven or eight underage children aged 14 or 15. Whenever the female suspect defecates, these children watch from beginning to end. Now that I think about it, their adolescence will definitely be affected. Serious impact.

I want to end this paragraph as soon as possible.Like some people who don't like to expose the "Cultural Revolution", I don't like to expose those things that disgrace the Chinese nation but should not be held collectively by the Chinese nation.But I think I still have the right to write about myself.To put it succinctly I spent five days in a stinking cell with no arraignment and no one to ask who you are.Every morning, after men watch women relieve their hands and women watch men relieve their hands, a female "Worker Propaganda Team" directs the suspects to sing (Dongfanghong) and (Sailing the sea depends on the helmsman).The female "Worker Propaganda Team" strictly stipulates that everyone must watch her conduct, but she has no basic knowledge of music. In mainland China, she deeply enjoys the joy of conducting people in conducting choruses. When she conducts wrong, she always blames male and female suspects for singing wrong. From time to time, she beat the head with the baton, as if the head became her percussion instrument, making everyone nervously hold their heads and stare at her singing.Men and women are locked together in the same prison cell with buckets of urine and urine, but they sing continuously from morning to night, so that outsiders who don't know it can hear it and think that this group of men and women are happily having an affair. I am my mother's disaster and my mother is my savior. She always appears in my most difficult time.My mother brings me two meals a day in a lunch box.I ate red sorghum rice with some green vegetables and a few shreds of mustard. She waited peacefully outside the window, still the same as when I was fired that day.Those green scallions and shreds of pickled mustard are placed on the red sorghum rice. Every meal is in line with the specifications of a European and Western food platter.At this time, she was still maintaining the etiquette of the upper class in the West, and she did not stare at me for dinner even with her son, but calmly watched all kinds of people coming in and out of the police station. Mistress of official evil. To this day, I can't imagine how she feels outside the window to a son who is in his thirties but has been ruined and imprisoned.But I'm sure that's something she never expected when she gave birth to me.When she first saw my face with her blood on it, she must have had very high expectations for my future.And her strength lies in her ability to calmly deal with things she couldn't expect at all. She accepts a bad fate like accepting a greeting card.When I was expelled, sent to labor camps, and was arrested by the "Little Foot Detective Squad", she was like a mother watching a baby toddler and knew that the child would have to fall down before walking. She didn't panic and didn't blame me.I have never heard a single complaint from her old man. In fact, she really hopes that the country will be prosperous and strong, so she supports the revolution that revolutionized her life.Her elders did not expect the revolutionary revolution to be so bad, but she still silently accepted all this as an accidental greeting card from a stranger.She often told me outside the window that after being repatriated to the farm, I should be resettled as soon as possible. She is going to come to the farm to live the "life of a working people" with me. She said that she grew up in a water town, so she likes to raise ducks. If possible, she will raise ducks. a hunter.She very naively thought that the farm was a paradise.Of course I will not spoil her old man's interest by telling her that there are both live tigers and dead tigers, and there are more heroes fighting tigers. I later found out that the reason why I was detained for five days was because the police station was waiting for my mother to raise money to buy a train ticket.So I don't agree with saying how much damage the "Cultural Revolution" caused to the country. The losses are actually shared among the common people. The cost to the country of holding this "revolution" is not as much as holding a sports meeting.When my mother scraped together twenty-one and eighty cents and handed it over to the police station one afternoon, the police station sent four young revolutionary generals wearing red armbands on their arms to escort me to the famous Beijing Railway Station in the early morning of the next day.At that time, there were only street cleaners on the street. Passing by the back window of the house where my mother lived, I saw that the lights were not on.I walked quietly under the escort of young revolutionary generals in military uniform and armed with red badges. I wanted to let her sleep a little longer, but this was my last farewell to her.She didn't find out that I had been deported until the meal was delivered.Then she went back to this room to imagine what kind of ducks and what kind of cats she would have in the future. what!That lonely back window...