Chapter 6 Chapter Six

I found that now that the pressure is relieved, I often feel anxious, depressed and sad, and I am often shrouded in what is commonly called "sense of worry".I can't figure out if this is a return to humanity or a sign of the waning "adolescence".Now when I feel troubled, I can't help but miss my daring in the past. Even if I was surrounded by barbed wire, I would still fight against the beast.To this day, I still often recall the ease of having nothing, and deeply feel that every point gained is a point of burden. All I have is my burden! After I used the shovel in my hand effectively, I discovered that I can not only use a pen but also wield cold weapons in martial arts.I think the fun of "adolescence" is not all about admiration for the opposite sex, but more about discovering one's inner talent every day, and constantly transforming potential into ability.Although the charming triangle area has no impression on me, I still thank her for discovering my adventurous spirit.Since at thirteen I had dared to jump off three floors, at thirty-three I had nothing but a labor uniform, so I was all the more willing to take risks.The reason why I did not escape from the labor camp was simply because the life of ordinary people was worse than that of the labor camp prisoners.Later, I praised the reform-through-labour team many times as the best place to make a living at that time, and the prisoners who broke the law had nowhere to send them, which was much safer than the general public.

I thank fate for always allowing me to stay in the most suitable place for me in the changing society. At this point I have to say that I cut off a farmer's finger.Later, when I entered into the market economy and started a business, I probably benefited from the courage of a strong man with a broken arm, and there is no "adolescence" without women and love, so I can only vent with such an impulse. In the summer when I was thirty-three years old, the head of the labor camp ordered me to see the sluice gate.Early summer in the Northwest is the season when rice, wheat and other crops need to be watered. Because of the "revolution", the water conservancy department has no time to formulate a water distribution plan. All the farm communes in the Yellow River irrigation area have gathered to grab water. Which one of the public can monopolize the water source.Fighting in the city is for power, and fighting in the countryside is for water.More than a dozen production teams often fight at the entrance of the canal, and sporadic battles for a single canal are repeated one after another, similar to gang fights in the old Shanghai gangsters competing for land and docks.The sluice gate is the front line of the struggle for water and the bridgehead of the offensive and defensive positions. The tens of thousands of acres of farmland in the labor reform farms need water from.This bottleneck came in, and the task of "seeing the sluice gate" was related to the life and death of all the crops in the labor reform team.Before the battle, the captain mobilized me like this:

"You are stronger than anyone else (because I can steal food more than anyone else), and you are a 'second entry into the palace' (that is, the second labor reform, which is disgraceful in society, but it is often regarded as an experienced worker in the labor reform team. You are entrusted with important tasks), I don’t think you are a cowardly person (it shows that the captain is very discerning), you stand up for me! (The tone is like a reactionary officer in a movie.) Whoever comes to lift the gate to grab water, you will go to me Fight to the death! (It means that even if I am beaten to death, I can’t retreat, it doesn’t really delegate the power to kill people to me.)”

The captain put this great responsibility on me, the so-called "the soil is for the confidant dies", and I was so proud that I went up to the canal dam without saying a word, carrying the shovel.In fact, if no one comes to grab water on the sluice, "watching the sluice" is nothing more than just sitting next to the sluice, and you don't have to do any farm work, which will make you relaxed and boring; you usually work more than ten hours a day, "watching the sluice" It is equal to rest.However, "raising soldiers for a thousand days and using them for a while", if someone comes to lift the gate to release water, it depends on your real ability.The captain is not joking, it is common to beat people to death for grabbing water.

I sat under a willow tree by the sluice for two days, reading with relish a copy of "Ludwig Feuerbach and the End of Classical German Philosophy".The captain of the labor camp allowed me to read the books of Masiliesmao, but he felt that the long list of titles made me tremble, and suggested that I should read more.But the title of the book is long, but it is a small booklet. If everything is safe, I can read it during the irrigation period.However, the nearby farmers did not allow me to concentrate on studying Engels' works. In the middle of the third night, when the moon was rising above my head, seven or eight strong men with shovels came in a group, and they were dark like a wall in front of me. one stop.Seeing me sleeping alone at the mouth of the canal, the big man in the lead yelled as if no one was around: "Crack!" A few years later, when I read Jin Yong's martial arts novels, I couldn't help laughing when I saw the chapter "Huashan Lunjian". The atmosphere was similar to that of the "Eight Martial Arts Schools" competing at the peak of Mount Hua.

I stood up slowly with a shovel and calmly reasoned with them.I said, "Fellow townspeople, it's not your turn to be in the water these days, and it's our farm's turn. If you want to open the gates and release the water today, you have to find a fate first, either mine or one of you." .Don’t believe me? Let’s try it!” The villagers hurled insults, from my ancestors to the ancestors of the farm, as if I belonged to the same blood as the farm, and the labor camp was my natural home.Even now, I can't repeat those words clearly. All in all, I, a reform-through-labour prisoner, are underestimated, and they are all "rebel groups" of poor and lower-middle peasants.

I smiled and said: "No matter what kind of 'rebel country' you are, you are no match for me, a reform-through-labour prisoner who has been sentenced to death. Do you know why the captain singled me out to see the sluice gate? Tell you, because next month I will I was taken to be shot, and I was called to die today. I can still earn some support for my family if I die at your hands. Come on, let you fulfill me tonight, and after you kill me, you will release the water." The peasants of the "Rebel Group" looked at each other in dismay, and shouted: "I didn't expect this bastard to be more breathless than a dead man!" After mumbling for a while, the big man in the lead put on a magnanimous posture and said: "We Why cut you? You don’t want to kill yourself. You just stay by the side and don’t move. If you move, I will make you die and live badly! We did it ourselves, you just pretend you didn’t see it!” A young man in his twenties rushed forward and bent down to lift the gate of the sluice gate.I said: "I have never had a good life, and I might as well just seek death. I told you, if you don't kill me, I will kill you! I can't shoot me again even if I kill one, hey, fellow , why do you have to die with me?"

The leading sister sneered: "How dare you do it?!" I went on to say: "Look if I dare to plant He said again: "How dare you be a bitch?!" I went on to say: "Look at how dare I!" "How dare you be a bitch?!" "Look if I dare!" "How dare you be a bitch?!" "Look if I dare!" The two of us barked at each other like dogs, with each sound getting closer and louder than the other.This is the easiest negotiation in the world.I later learned that all techniques of international diplomatic negotiation, no matter how sophisticated, are nothing more than that in their primitive form.There were two world wars and several local wars. Negotiations returned to the most primitive stage and they faced a declaration of war.Seeing that I refused to give an inch, the big man refused to talk to me anymore, and kept urging the young man to lift up the gate.I weighed the shiny shovel in my hand and looked at the young man's neck, and found that the neck was much thicker than that of a suckling pig.My eyes wandered around him, trying to figure out which part would be the best place to strike.I think this is the onset of my "puberty", a bloody gas suddenly surged in my chest, urging me to have sex with a woman once, and I have to chop something to relieve the gas, otherwise my " adolescence" would be severely frustrated.Hegel was right that all wars are motivated by the desires of leaders, not necessarily the result of weighing real interests.

It was not easy to lift the gate under the huge side pressure of the water. The young man held the iron handle of the gate with both hands and shook it vigorously several times. Only then did a small stream of water start to leak out from the gap.Without saying a word, I lifted the shovel up slightly coldly, spotted the young man's hand holding the gate, and "roared" like lightning to make a chop.The young man yelled "Mom", rolled over into the ditch, and yelled "Ai Whistle Ai Ka" in the ditch water.The farmer next to him was stunned for a moment: It seems that he really met a death row prisoner!No one dared to come forward to lift the gate, but the young man's shout reminded them that they must send him to the hospital as soon as possible.The big man in the lead shouted at me as he turned his head and guessed while waving to other people to rush down the canal to pick up the young man:

"Just wait and see! You just wait and see!" I put away the shovel and said with a grin, "Where can I go? I'm waiting for you, I'm waiting for you!" As soon as it was dawn, I hurriedly reported to the team leader. The team leader repeatedly praised me for a good job, and said with a smile, "See if those bastards dare to come again!" The team leader in turn scolded eight generations of farmers.According to the theory at the time, those peasants should be his "class brothers" and have the same blood as him.Therefore, I have always understood "local protectionism". Under the domination of this kind of doctrine, there is no regard for laws, policies, or reason, and only local immediate interests.

I only reported to the captain that I "slapped" the farmer's hand with the shovel.In fact, besides the bright red blood, I found a piece of finger by the side of the ditch at dawn.The color was blue and purple, and it was as big as a soaked jujube. I didn't expect that the severed finger would swell by itself instead of shriveling.The section was neat, but there was no bone in the middle, only a small hole the size of the needle tip, but when you squeeze it, you can still feel a hard lump like a date pit in the flesh, which is probably the phalanx.The nails are black, and the dirt from the young man's house is still hidden in the crevices of the nails.I held it in my hand and played with it for a long time, weighing its weight, guessing which finger it was; and stroking my shovel as if stroking a woman.Its sharpness is its beauty. After chopping off a human finger, my "adolescence" was satisfied like a sexual vent.I felt so happy that day, and felt that the rising sun was brighter than usual.A few years later, during the reform, I would smile lightly when I saw many abnormal people and abnormal things.That's how our entire generation went through their "adolescence" and now they're mature and the backbone of society, but how do you make people instantly normal? I read the highest wisdom of mankind, and at the same time practiced the most savage deeds, and the strange thing is that I didn't feel guilty at the time.It was only after a few years that I realized that this kind of duality was the mainstream of that era.It should be strange that I am in sync with the mainstream of society in any situation. As I write here today, I naturally miss that young man.He is younger than me, in his early fifties at most.Having lost a finger for most of his life, it must be inconvenient in life and work.He would often stroke the remaining half of his finger and tell his family and friends indignantly about the scene at that time over and over again.But he didn't know the name of the "doggy" prisoner, and he didn't know where to avenge the severed finger.I don't know his name and address, and even if I am willing to give compensation now, there is nowhere to be found.He was also in his "adolescence" at that time, and that setback may lead to a lifelong cruelty or cowardice.If so, I have damaged a soul.The world is like this, irrelevant things and irrelevant people often collide by chance and change each other. On my side, whenever the social environment and personal conditions change, I often feel guilty for what I did in the past. I really don't feel at ease like some people.Since the society no longer hurts me, I try to treat others with kindness as much as possible.The film and television city I built from the ruins of the ancient castle is a window of local civilization, and the treatment enjoyed by my enterprise employees is also the best in the local area. I have no obligation to the herdsmen who moved out to build the film and television city for me, but I still Promised to fund their education as long as I lived.For the boy with the severed finger, I should also do something for the kind peasants.But in other things, as long as "puberty" occurs, I will still say what I don't want to say and do what I don't want to do. For example, after the film and television city I ran became profitable, individual grassroots cadres in the vicinity of the local tyrants even instigated some farmers to seize it like grabbing a water canal.Early one morning, a group of peasant mercenaries drove all my staff away and let them sell tickets.In the early days of the market economy, this was a common "game without rules" throughout the country.After I heard the news, I drove to the film and television city by myself, and I saw groups of disheveled people like crows wandering in front of the screen wall I designed. The bird stared at me with its small, police-deep eyes.I felt that bloody qi rushing upward again, that qi was the residual heat of "adolescence".I asked sharply who was the leader.A crow jumped out, and Kapi replied with a smile that they had no leader at all, meaning what can you do to us.I smiled coldly: "Okay, if no one is the leader, you are the leader. I will recognize you today! If there is any way to deal with you, I will deal with you! What do you think I am using my mobile phone for? I can call one when I make a call." The armed company is here!" The crow heard the "armed company", and quickly stated that he couldn't help himself, and everyone was called by the "above".I said yes!Since there is someone "above", you can tell the person "above" for me: I can make this area prosperous, and I have the ability to ruin a family!I don’t want today’s rl tickets, but I’ll reward you with beer. If I still see you here tomorrow, you can tell you that the person “above” has as many coffins as there are people in his family!Everyone knows that I have been reformed through labor for 20 years, and there is no bad idea I can't think of!After I said that coldly, I turned my head and left. The "cold" temperature was the same as the freezing point when I was about to chop off my fingers.Of course I can't call an armed company, and I won't cause anyone to "destroy their families", but I know that many lawbreakers are not afraid of law enforcement agencies, but they are afraid that people who are stronger and more ruthless than him will take insidious extrajudicial methods against them; It's a great cure for sores.The boss-like cadre saw with my own eyes that I turned a desolate area into a tourist hotspot, and he fully believed in my ability to make him suffer and have unspeakable suffering.The next morning, my people went to work as usual, as if nothing had happened. For illegal things, you must have the decisiveness of a strong man with a broken arm. In a disorderly market, my "youth boom" often occurs.Unexpectedly, I didn’t have puberty when I was supposed to go through puberty, but I was often in puberty after my sixtieth birthday. In other words, the abnormal puberty I went through just cultivated me to be good at dealing with abnormal things, and One incident can also illustrate this point: the surrounding area of ​​my film and television city is not peaceful, and some grassroots cadres contracted the land in the protected area in the name of their families to encroach on it, trying to transfer it at a high price when the film and television city develops and needs this area.One day, this kind of "contractor" suddenly violated the local government's notice on the protection of cultural relics, and dug canals and planted trees within the scope of his expired contract. .I didn't bother to talk to him at first, I don't need to do it to ban it, that is the responsibility of the local government department.But he threatened to hire dozens of farmers, each with a shovel, and whoever moved the trees he planted would cut down.He is very smart and knows that if no one dares to control the illegal occupation, it will gradually become a fait accompli and take a legal form. This is how a large amount of national assets are lost to the hands of local tyrants.But when he miscalculated, he miscalculated when he threatened that there were "farmers with shovels in their hands".As soon as I heard "farmers with shovels", my blood was racing, which stimulated my "adolescent" endocrine, as if there was another chance for someone else to point it out.In the early morning of the second day after hearing this, I asked my subordinates to drive a bulldozer, and I personally commanded it, and within an hour, the canal and the tree were pushed away.I stood under the rising sun anxiously waiting for the farmer with a shovel in his hand, just like a young man waiting for his girlfriend at the gate of the park. Some men like to make out with women, and some men like to fight with men. I have become the latter type of man since I cut off "sexual obscenity".I think the fun of "adolescence" should also include "struggling with others".Years of reform through labor did not let me learn a single entertainment. My life is indeed boring and boring. I don’t play cards or mahjong, bowling or golf. I don’t know any fun things. The projects let me play, both are "eyes of mind" and "fate". In the final analysis, the entire Chinese market economy society is also in the middle of "adolescence". Looking forward and thinking hard, thinking, procrastinating, indecisive, timid and cautious is definitely not the style of "adolescence". What it needs is the fighting spirit, special vitality and the courage to meet challenges. the spirit of. "Get out of the water and look at the mud on your legs", what a good saying!