Chapter 15 Chapter fifteen

When I first met you, I never thought that we would have love in the future, or that we would have sex.I thought you were a married woman, and there was a virtuous look in your brows.You have to help me carry the suitcase, your enthusiasm and care are like a mother with children.I secretly thought, what a blessing to be your husband and child.I also thought that the woman who was supposed to pick me up on the west coast didn't come and in this city in the eastern United States I didn't expect a woman to pick me up but a woman came.There are women everywhere in the world. I'm pushing the luggage cart behind you.You caught me as if you caught a mayfly creature.Looking at your confident and comfortable gait in front of you, I can't imagine.If you catch me, I am willing to be caught by you. If I am caught by you, I will no longer have the feeling of drifting.

Your palm is my temporary nest. I admire your twisting waist and swinging hips from behind.The curvilinear melody is like water, which makes everything in the airport hall come alive.The sunshine here is particularly bright, and the color of the Sunshine Sea near the sea is of course stronger.When I am in rainy Europe I often think of the sunshine here.Later, when I was floating in the sky, I thought why I was executed in such bright sunlight, maybe it had something to do with the sunshine that day in my memory. That day, the sunlight here shone through the huge glass windows, shining on your back.Of course I followed you closely because I was afraid of getting lost.I know I'll never lose you That's for later.Your back is like her back.At that time, I had a flash of wanting to see your naked body.You can't blame me because your waist would make any man wonder.When you walk around, your little hips move a little, like a call, and I hear it whisper softly, "Come and make love to me!"

And then you took off your nightgown in front of me, and the white nightgown fell at your feet like the base of a statue.I thought I would be satisfied from now on, but in fact I was not satisfied in the future.People are always forgetful about satisfaction. I just got off the plane that day.I think I'll be groggy all the way to the city, all I want is a hot shower and a bed. Last night I was in a small room listening to some hollow sound rhythmically ringing in the walls.I couldn't believe that the water in the pipe was flowing, but looking at the yellow water stains on the ceiling, I felt like I was soaking in the water helplessly.I think about how I used to choose when I didn't have the freedom to choose, and now I have the freedom to choose but I don't want to choose; my energy is exhausted waiting for the choice in the past and constantly choosing in the future.In the small room that the consulate found for me temporarily, I was enjoying a trace of sadness and nostalgia for Jinghui's comfortable room, but a night plane flew over the roof.I heard its roar and saw a wooden boat passing overhead, its black bottom like a dark cloud.Through the floating algae and weeds, I saw how a human head sank down unsteadily.The bright human blood diffused around like the light of the setting sun.I knew it was my ancestors who robbed the lake.With a sway of the bronze arm, the head and body were separated.My ancestors were as adept at it as I am at novels.The color of blood made me gasp with excitement, like a reader reading a wonderful passage in a novel.But the scene changes instantly.I saw my ancestors wearing yellow mandarin jackets, staring at me amidst the smoke.That world is square.I read from his tightly pressed lips what he was going to say to me.He silently narrated the journey from robber to official.His narration always makes me think that I have understood something and wake up only to find that I have not understood.Every time I am frustrated, his blood flows into my veins from hundreds of years ago, filling my whole body with wildness.I think I survived several times because I was a descendant of robbers, and this country has a history that cannot accommodate gentle intellectuals.

At the airport I still listened to the voice in the walls, whose rhythm became my pulse.It turned out that it was not water flowing in the heating pipe but blood flowing in my veins hundreds of years ago.It is you who changed the rhythm of my blood flow, you suppressed my wildness. You raised your hand to greet me.I see the sun flickering on your fingers.You wear several rings so I thought you were married.Later you said to me that if you don't have jewelry on you you feel naked.Jewelry and clothes are equally important to you.Later, when we parted, I said that I would give you a piece of jewelry as a souvenir.You immediately said that it would be best to go back to China and buy you a ring.You put your arms around me and said that you only want a cloisonné ring made in Beijing.You said first that it was produced in mainland China, second that you know I can’t afford diamonds or precious jade, and third that you want it to be unique in your hands.But listening to your three thoughts, I think this is probably the rank of your love and my love in all your love.I secretly thought of her with regret, and remembered what she said, "We love each other when we have time and love each other when we have the opportunity".There are women everywhere in the world and all women in the world are the same.

Equating love with love, human love has been sublimated in our time.Men and women are the same in this respect. But after all, you place your love and mine in a "special" position among all your loves.Although such a "grid" is cheap, only you know how it tastes.Two years later, the ring you wanted followed me to Paris.It fell on the marble table as I paid my bill at a café in the Latin Quarter.The sound of "" was so crisp that it made people lose their souls.When I see it I see you.But all I remember is the appearance when I saw you on the first day: that happy face was business-like, just like the sentence on the invitation letter: "I am very honored to inform you..." You are only happy Reception worked smoothly.

I picked up the ring and walked towards the Luxembourg Gardens.I've forgotten about it, but it's still in my jacket pocket.It can be seen that all things will not become a thing of the past.As I walked, I wanted to put it on any French girl who came up to me.I startled a flock of pigeons.I spread my palms but the ring refused to fly away. It is still in my hand today.