Chapter 15 fifteen

The next morning, the leaden sky was covered with snow.This remote, poor, and backward deserted village, nature has not forgotten her, and justly covered her with a layer of pure white snow.The smoke from the small chimney on the small earthen house is also slender, more like an illustration in a fairy tale. One of the benefits of patience is that my cold never goes away.I have long since discovered that exacerbations are largely individual neurological effects.If you keep thinking about your illness like you do for your lover, the illness will get worse and worse.Simply ignore it - there is no way to deal with it, it is not interesting to stay on you, and it will soon abandon you.

The lame man was limping and whistling around, and the notice could not work.His yelling was weird.It seems to be selling something: "Xiu-Xi!" The word "Xiu" dragged on for a long time, but "Xi" stopped abruptly, without even a lingering sound.But in our ears, this is undoubtedly welcome news.The cotton-padded jacket and trousers were dried on the stove. The "director of the sales department" kept complaining that I made the room smelly.I ignore him.If he fell into the water, he still had new cotton trousers and an old sheepskin jacket.In my eyes, he became bourgeois—the class relationship is completely reversed again.The bad thing is that after drying, the wet cotton coat was as hard as armor, not to mention not keeping warm, wearing it on my body with neither shirt nor underpants, it made my skin hurt and itchy.After breakfast, I simply took off all my clothes and wrapped myself in a cotton net. I only stretched out two hands from the holes in the net, holding a book, and leaned against the wall where the mud was peeling off.

I read Das Kapital with a pious confession. In the morning, I can still read with great interest.I revisited the Preface to the First Edition, and then read the Postscript to the Second Edition until the Preface to the Editor's Fourth Edition.The logic of the argument was clarified, and it also confirmed my thoughts last night: the class I came from is destined to be destroyed sooner or later.As for me, I am but the last Udeg.I know this way, and I feel better in my heart, and I also have a sense of tragedy as a lamb being offered on the altar of the new era: I am not personally wrong, but I am burdened with the sins of generations, just like alcoholics and The descendant of a syphilis patient, he will suffer for the sins of his predecessors.Destiny is here.My fate of suffering is inescapable.

But at noon, I couldn't read any more.For me, the biggest pain of rest is not eating.When I usually work, hunger is easier to bear.Doing no work can make you feel more hungry than you really are.I fully believe that in Chaplin's "The Gold Rush", the starving gold prospector trapped on the snowy mountain will have the illusion of seeing people as turkeys.That is not the imagination of a genius, Chaplin must have learned it from someone who has experienced hunger.When I saw a sentence like "commodities appear in the world as iron, linen, wheat, etc., in the form of use value or commodity body", my thoughts were far away from the meaning of this sentence, Just savor the word "wheat" over and over again.Bread, steamed buns, pancakes and even cream cakes will appear in front of my eyes, making me salivate uncontrollably.After that sentence, the following sequence appears again: 1 coat = 10 lbs of tea = 10 lbs of coffee = 1 qad of wheat = 20 yards of linen "coat", "tea", "coffee", "wheat", which What a feast!Just imagine: wearing a white top (not wearing a ripped net), with Keemun black tea or Brazilian coffee (not an empty can) in front of you, and cutting a cream cake (not yellow radish), that is really a fairy-like life!I also have a gorgeous imagination.This kind of imagination will synthesize all the grand banquet scenes that I have passed, seen, and read into the grand banquet of Telemachus in Greek mythology: "Eat in peace, I will not let anyone Come to hinder you!" At this time, not only the colorful images of all kinds of food tempted me to leave "The Fetish Nature of Commodities and Its Secret", but also in the silent and cold winter air, from nowhere, sometimes Strong and sometimes light aromas of food—whatever comes into my mind smells.The aroma immediately transformed into a taste on the tip of my tongue, which made my stomach violently cramp. The "director of the sales department" is playing tricks again.He fumbled in his small wooden box for a long time, and found a piece of black-faced pancake.He didn't let the lieutenant eat it, he didn't let the editor of the newspaper office eat it, and he didn't let the two employees who came with him eat it. He only asked the old accountant who slept next to me to share it with him.In fact, he clearly knew that the old accountant was strictly adhering to the principle of "I don't touch you, and you don't touch me", and would not accept his "please".The old accountant is indeed ridiculously pedantic on this point.For example, he is more sensitive to the dividing line between my bunk and his than the border between two neighboring countries with tense relations-I actually get along with him just fine.If the corner of his quilt accidentally falls on my straw bed, he will hurriedly drag it over as if the quilt had fallen on fire; I sent it back with a careless hand, as if the wreck of cotton was my lost wallet.I can't imagine how this kind of person who is trembling and dare not go one step further has become a "rightist". "Eat, eat, it's okay." The "Director of the Sales Department" carefully broke off half a piece, and threw it from the door onto his mattress.

"Huh, huh! Fu, fu..." the old accountant yelled with a Shanghai accent, and threw it back in panic, as if the half of the black-faced pancake was a hot coal ball. "Eat it, look at you... tsk, tsk!" The "Director of the Sales Department" generously threw it over again.The half of the pancake had dried so hard that it wouldn't fall apart even if it was thrown around. "Hey, hey! Really... let's eat at home." The old accountant threw it back to the "director of the sales department" even more anxiously. "Tsk! If I tell you to eat, you can eat it. Who is not hungry right now?!" The "Director of the Sales Department" threw it here again.

However, this time the "director of the sales department" didn't throw it correctly, and it was more likely that he was conscious. Half of the black flour pancake fell on my grass bed, right next to my feet. The old accountant squinted at the half pancake with a very terrified look, and writhed restlessly on his bunk.Pick it up and throw it back?The pancakes were on my straw bed; maybe he still had a little pity for me and wanted to let me eat the pancakes along the way.Don't pick it up and throw it back? The "director of the sales department" obviously gave it to him.Even if he ate it for me, the debt of favor was in his name, and the "director of the sales department" was not an easy creditor to deal with... The air in the earthen room seemed to freeze.Although the other people were apparently doing their own thing, some were mending socks, some were writing home letters, and some were thinking in bed, their attention was undoubtedly fixed on the half black-faced pancake.Newspaper editors and lieutenants also temporarily truce on homemade chessboards.The fate of this half black-faced pancake affects everyone's heart.The pancakes were about one or two heavy, and because they had been left for too long, there was a layer of dull luster on the surface, much like a piece of hard chocolate.It sat on my grass bed with defiance and defiance, and it embarrassed me greatly; my spirit of "treating thorns as a flowering field" was also frustrated.The remaining yellow radishes were boiled and eaten after I came back yesterday. Nothing can resist the sudden surge of appetite from the bottom of my heart, not from my stomach; nothing can block my surging saliva.Because of being wronged, because of being cruelly teased, because of hating my purely natural physical requirements, because of contempt for the inferiority of my spirit, because of the lament of "how did I end up in this state"... my eyes were full of tears .

The earthen house was as silent as death, and the snow-covered light came in through the windows covered with newspapers, and everyone's face was as pale as death.The old accountant finally decided on a countermeasure: If it's not in my territory, it's none of my business!He closed his eyes and sat on the mat with his arms folded, like an old monk in meditation. The "director of the sales department" was very calm on the surface, the same as before throwing pancakes, crossed his legs on his bunk, but his eyes were staring at the bait, nervously waiting for the prey that was about to be caught.

At this time, outside the window came the rustling sound of stepping on the snow from far and near, and at the same time there was a relaxed and unrestrained singing: My sister went to see her husband in the morning, and the three-foot white silk was wrapped with rock sugar.It’s not necessary to give it to Xiao Langlang, it’s so sad to turn around——ah! I went to see Lang in the morning of the third day of junior high school, and Xiao Lang was sick on his gums.Uncovering the red silk curtain with both hands, Xiao Lang's face is golden-yah! It's a woman.As soon as I heard it, it was the woman who gave me the key two days ago.

The rustling and singing came closer and closer, and came straight to the door of our "home".Everyone in the earthen house was a little surprised. Their eyes were attracted to the door by the sudden voice that seemed to come from another world. Even the nerves of the "sales department director" temporarily relaxed, and they unconsciously showed a sideways ear. The appearance of listening. After a while, footsteps reached the door, and then, the door was pushed open with a "bang" as if hit by the shock wave of an explosion.The door was wide open, but no one came in.

For a few seconds, everyone in the room stared blankly at the door, like a group of fools hoping for a miracle.The person outside the door seemed to have finally overcome his hesitation, jumped onto the threshold, held on to the door frame with both hands, and searched the room with his head. "Hee hee! Which one of you Darlings is the 'rightist' who sings poetry? Find him to work." is her!And she can only ask me! "Here, here, here," the "Director of the Sales Department" turned his head and pointed at me, and shouted happily: "Zhang ShuiJeng心愀苫赵チa* But, judging from her tone, her demeanor , her special giggle, I was instantly sensitive that she didn't tell me to go to work. I'm glad she rescued me from this predicament. "Is it me? I was a little unsure, because instead of "writing poetry," she said "singing poetry." "What work?" "I asked again.

"Hee hee! I guessed it was you." She was still holding on to the door frame, shaking her body back and forth, "They say you can turn on the stove, so tell you to turn on the stove." Why is she guessing?How could you guess it was me?I feel a subtle concern.I would also like to work with her.Since there is nothing to eat, it is better to do some work than to be idle.I said, "Then you go first, and I'll come when I get dressed." She looked at me attentively, probably thought my appearance was funny, and smiled again. "Then hurry up, I'll wait for you at home. You always know my home." She leaned over and slammed the door shut with a bang.I hurriedly put on the cotton-padded jacket and trousers, and when I was kicking on the trouser legs, I pretended to have unintentionally kicked the half piece of black-faced pancake into the aisle between me and the lieutenant.