Chapter 2 Part Two

At this time, a girl appeared at the door, carrying a very fashionable small travel bag on her shoulders, with short hair, just like a boy's. Before we could get a good look at her face, she was coming straight towards us, asking my father to get out of the way, and then asking me to get out of the way. We stood up hunched over, watching her rummage through the mess on my brother's bed in a little wonder. The father asked very carefully, what are you looking for?She didn't look up, saying she wasn't looking for anything. Then she turned and rummaged through the table full of unwashed lunch boxes, yogurt bottles, and textbooks.

She looked impatient, so we didn't ask any more questions. After we finished reading, she seemed a little disappointed, and went out the door without saying hello to us. She's leaving now?I still don't see her face clearly. I said to her, wait, are you looking for Zhu Wu?She stopped and said that she knew that Zhu Wu was not there, and she came to see if Zhu Wu had left a note for her. So, you are Zhu Wu's classmate?She said, not classmates, but friends. You also came to see Zhu Wu?Father nodded. The girl folded back from the door and sat on the bunk opposite us. Now I can see her face clearly, it's still pretty, but from the confident look on her face, I think she must think that her own face is much more wonderful than the one she actually has.

She told us that it has been two months since Zhu Wu moved out. I said I know. So why are you still waiting here?I said to her. We went to the place where Zhu Wu lives now, but he's not there, so we came here to try our luck, you see, maybe you'll tell us where we can find him. She smiled and said that she only knew that he wanted to buy new musical instruments when he started a band recently, so he went to the karaoke hall to play the piano at night to earn money, but she didn't know which karaoke hall he was in. That's right, I don't have anything to ask, but I found that she was looking at me more and more fascinated.

"You are his brother?" I nodded and introduced to her that the older guy with black hair sitting next to me was Zhu Wu's father. She became a little more reserved, blushed, and hurriedly nodded friendly to her father, then looked at me again. Now she looks like a girl. "Zhu Wu told me about you, saying that you are a writer who has not yet become famous. I also read your stuff "About the 1990 Moon", right? " "Zhu Wu showed it to you?" "yes. He said to me, look, if I don't succeed in making music in the future, I will write. I am definitely better than my brother. "

"Is that what he said?" "Yes, he also said, you are now fallen and hopeless. It seems that he has to become famous with one song, and then give you some money to publish a booklet. " I noticed my father was smiling. How could this bastard say that about me, and in front of a girl. The "degeneration" my brother mentioned probably means having sex. With sex, he thinks you've fallen. He doesn't do it himself, and he doesn't allow others to live it every now and then, so what's the matter. I admire him, though, for being able to lay around talking to a girl all night and just not do it.

I don't know if the girl in front of me is the one who lay with him all night. I was about to ask the girl's name, but she spoke first. "actually. actually. I really like your work, really. " Whenever I encounter this kind of time, I am always very proud, and I don't hide it at all. So I found the feeling at once, and I took the initiative to introduce to her the works I had written and where I could find them. And the work I'm writing, the work I'm going to write. She listened intently, and kept repeating my points with a bewildered expression, and rightly so.

Father was obviously left out on the sidelines, but I pretended not to know. If there was a basketball in the room at this moment, my father would definitely be in high spirits, and he would grab it and do the most attractive tricks he could, until the girl's eyes were all over him. Amid my father's coughing, I gave my address to the girl named Xiaoyan, hoping that she could come and play with me if she had nothing to do. playing what?I asked myself, of course I can play whatever I can. Xiaoyan is a student of the Music Department of Normal University. Her face is not as restless as it was when she first came in. She has some blurry bright colors. She simply took off the bag on her shoulders and wanted to continue talking with me. mean.

However, the father spoke. "Did you eat?" "When I came here, I ate it on the street, haven't you eaten it yet?" Xiaoyan said. Yes, my father said, and tugged at my arm to suggest that it was time for me to eat. I asked Xiaoyan if I would eat some more together. She was hesitating. Her father said that girls never eat too much for fear of getting fat. Let's not embarrass others. I said Dad, what do you want to do?Xiaoyan smiled, oh my god, there are two radiant dimples. She said that she is not afraid of gaining weight, but today she does not want to eat anymore.

When my father and I were going out, my father turned around and took care of Xiaoyan. If you see my brother, please tell him to go to his brother's place at night. It was completely dark outside, and there seemed to be people playing basketball on the basketball court on the right, but we couldn't see the people playing basketball clearly. The sound of running and the sound of the basketball hitting the ground, then the sound of the basketball hitting the backboard, followed by the sound of running in a hurry. I know of one layup that irretrievably failed. Father stood there listening for a while, then turned to me and asked me softly.

"What do you want? Ah, what do you want?" I bent down and said to my father, no, I don't want to do anything. I also speak lightly. Forget it, I know your virtues well, it's obvious, you want to get Xiaoyan's idea, I've already seen it. Father said in an unquestionable tone. "Okay, okay, is there anything wrong with that?" I'm still speaking lightly, because we noticed a man coming down from the landing, opening the chain lock of his bicycle. That person seems to be Xiaoyan. "Can?" His father lowered his voice even more: "Maybe Xiaoyan is my younger brother's girlfriend, maybe she is, and you dare to strike without knowing it?"

Just as I was about to say something, my father reached out and stopped me. Xiaoyan got on the bicycle, humming a song, and slid over not far from us. When she slid under the street lights, we clearly saw her white back. I cleared my throat and continued to say to my father, "I really wish I could disown my six relatives, but in fact I may not be able to do it. If I can't do it, then I will be impotent, and my body will help me master the scale, so don't worry. " "I'm worried ass! I think you're screwed. Let's go and eat. " The dinner was not pleasant. My father asked for a little white wine. From the looks of it, he didn't plan to go out with me again at night. The Hanlin Hotel is located near the school, and it specializes in student business. The price is relatively cheap, but there are so many people. The food came very slowly. Between the first and second courses, I leaned back in my chair and took a nap. I felt a little tired, closed my eyes, and the mood of halfway through sex came back. Wang Qing is an old woman who feels good about herself, but she is not too old. She belongs to the kind of aging from the inside out, and there are still a few things that can be justified. My father knocked on the table loudly with chopsticks and told me that the food is here. How do I see myself, and how do I see my writing?I thought, I know myself, I know what I'm doing, and I have the ability to take responsibility for it all. You should have faith in me, your son, that he is living the life he deserves, and that he is living a life of hope. He wants to be your friend forever, not your enemy. He likes women, more and more women, more and more beautiful women, more and more memorable women, but women will not destroy him. If there is any danger, it comes only from the belief in the great love that he has refused to give up-how childish and how stubborn. He longs for money, the sound of gold coins rolling in his veins, he hopes that his honest labor can be honestly respected, and can be marked with higher and higher prices. The price tag is the most honest. Nothing else. He believes that it is better to work under the remuneration standard of 10,000 words than 30,000 words. When he sees dollars flying in the sky, his blood will boil and he will have a steady stream of irresistible inspiration. Poverty is more terrible than the corruption of money. I have a lot of respect for my predecessors, the hard-earned old writers who weren't interested in money or slept with more than ten women, so they couldn't write anything. Look at some later writers, they finally tasted a little bit of money and women, but they talked about it either coyly or posturingly, so we can't hope that they can do anything decent. But then it was different, a group of extremely greedy guys rushed out from every corner with red eyes, smashing things and swearing. They wrote for money, they wrote for women, so they were considered the most promising. But some of the characters burn out before they last long, they have kidney problems, and there's nothing anyone can do to help them. I said Dad, I have told you everything I can say, let's drink. My father is more talkative than usual. He has talked to me for so many years, and he still has things to tell me that I have never heard before. Of course I felt very fresh after listening to it, and I said to him, Damn, you are not enough friends, I have told you everything about me, but you still have reservations about me. I feel my tongue stiffen a little as I say this, and I know I've had a little too much to drink, too. But I'm going to drink it, because we've just had a little drink, and I like to knock the old man down, and then carry him on my shoulders, and go home humming a little tune. Of course it's not easy, my father drinks very cunningly, like a juggler, you think he's drunk a lot, but that's not the case at all. It wasn't that he was afraid of getting drunk, he just had fun doing it. In my impression, my father is more realistic when he drinks with me. Now his eyes are half-closed, his body limp and boneless, sliding down the back of the chair. Behind us stood quite a few disgruntled people waiting for us to leave in order to occupy the table. Two of them were probably tired from standing, so they just sat down at our table, staring at our every move with their swallow rolls in their mouths. The more they do it, the more slowly I eat, trying to make me sick, no way. I've long since been someone you can't make me feel bad, and a lot of people go out of their way to make me feel bad, only to end up making themselves feel bad. But as soon as I open my mouth, many people feel unhappy. "I still want to ask you one thing. Promise me, okay? " My father squinted at me and stammered. "If there's anything else we can't say between us, just talk about it! Talk about it!" My eyes were straightened, I picked up the glass and touched the glass my father put on the table, then raised my head and drank the wine in the glass. I think the wine has come to my throat. "No, don't be a writer." My father waved his hands weakly at me. At the moment, I don't have time to answer him, because I finally spit it out with a whoosh. The guys next to me hurried out of the way. Although they were agile enough, one of them inevitably got a little light on the sleeve of his floral shirt. I didn't argue with him, and I didn't say I was sorry, because although my mind was clear, my body was weak. The father, who was drowsy just now, unexpectedly revived, as if he had never had a drink. He stood up, dealt with the situation calmly and calmly, then took my arm very strongly, helped me around the messy tables, and walked out of the restaurant. Damn, dad, you beat me again. Outside the door, Feng, mixed with the breath of various desires, blew towards her face. I even feel that the wind in September is very strong, and I know that I am too weak at the moment. I broke free from my father's hand, and walked down the street side by side with him. My head hurts a little, and the image of my father is distorted in my eyes, appearing erratic, and sometimes I feel that my father is walking on that row of plane trees. I held out my hand to hail a taxi. After getting in the car, I told the driver how to get there. I live in a remote place, and the driver always couldn't understand. My father rolled all the windows on both sides of the car, and he advised me to sleep if I wanted to, and he would tell the driver how to go along the way. that's it. That red Xiali car was worn on the busiest street in the city. Most of the shopping malls have not yet closed, and the government encourages and even stipulates that they close later and later, because the world is such a business that is getting bigger and bigger. We are all businessmen. This city that is moving towards modernization needs nightlife and those The flickering light requires those colorful colors, an emotion that can stimulate consumption, and requires you to become more shameless in an atmosphere of shamelessness, so as to adapt to the future of shamelessness. The future is a time closer to the end, you are looking forward to the future, aren't you?So I think my father is luckier than me, I am luckier than my son, and my son is a little bit luckier than my grandson. Whenever I see a newborn angelic baby, my heart is filled with pity. Why did you come here?What a shame. The noise outside the car window seems to be far away from me, getting farther and farther away. This Xiali car is like a humble little beetle, silently crawling step by step into the center of my emotions at this moment. There is nothing there, it is absolute and Hustle blank. I turned to look at the sparse and messy hair on my father's forehead, and wept. I don't know why I cry, but I know my tears are cheap, my emotions are cheap. Because I am such a cheap person, in the era of hot big sales, I belong to the kind of clearance goods, which are randomly placed on the corner of the shelf. Whoever throws two coins at me, I will write a book for you have a look. I'm ready to sell you even my soul, 30% or 20% off. But don't forget, I want fucking dollars. I don't know how long I slept, because after I fell over, I began to feel that the scale of time was like a rubber band, stretching for a long time and shrinking for a short time. Let me tell you, there's only one feeling that's clear in my head, as clear as a beacon in a sea of ​​confusion, and that's the feeling of being halfway through sex. I lifted the blanket covering me and sat up on the bed. My father was sitting by the bed, with reading glasses on his nose, huddled under the lamp, holding a stack of my manuscripts in his hand. To be honest, this has moved me so much that I have already received a literary award from my father. As for his evaluation, I can imagine. "Is there nothing else in life but sex? I don't understand!" Father threw the stack of manuscript paper aside and shook his head frequently. He was annoyed by my sex. "I want to ask you, why do you only see sex in my novels?" "A writer should bring something positive to people, such as ideals, pursuits, democracy, freedom, etc., etc." "I said Dad, all the stuff you mentioned, I have it in my sex." I felt so hollow inside and I hated the smell of stomach acid in my mouth. Everything in the room had a sickening stomach acid smell. Under the light of the desk lamp, my father's face, the high nose and the shadow of one nose, the chair, the bed, the ashtray and the dissipating smoke on the ashtray, at this moment, were all trapped in a helpless feeling that was hard to get rid of. in meaning. Whenever someone evaluates my work from a father-like standpoint, I have a feeling of adultery with the world. do you know?You make me feel like an adulterer full of doubts, anxiety, and insecurities. But I am now ready to continue in this role. Father took a note on the table and handed it to me. It was left by my younger brother. He wrote on the note that he waited all afternoon and didn't see us. He was going to play the piano at Jingang Nightclub in the evening, so we can go there to find him. I turned over and looked at the alarm clock next to my pillow, it was only a little past nine. Anyway, it should be said that it is not too late. Instead of spinning on the sex in my works, it's better to smell the smell of real women in real life, don't you think?We went out and waited for a long time on the side of the road, trying to find a taxi, but taxis seldom go here. It is too remote and there is no business here. We ended up calling a Mazda. It's a real pleasure to drive through this decaying night in such a car with a starry sky as its canopy in this weather. My father's and my mood were rising happily. When we arrived at the Golden Port Nightclub, our mood was reaching its peak of happiness. With such a good mood, we bought tickets and walked in with our heads held high. I rarely patronize such occasions, although I know there are good things in them, for the simple reason of lack of money. Only when rich friends come back from other places and are in a better mood, can we poor people have the opportunity to come in and open our eyes. Today, my father came, and I am very happy. When I am happy, I feel that I am quite rich. Happiness is never a rare thing. As long as you have money, you can make one for you if you don't have it. A plump and generous service lady led us to a table next to the wall. The environment was good. Of course, I saw a row of bright and eye-catching ladies sitting under the east wall at a glance. They are watching us now with hunter's eyes. The light in the room was dim, the kind of greenery light that shone wonderfully on the row of bare legs that had been packed, and their texture looked just as wonderful. "Sir, what are you using?" Does that need to be said?Use what we most want to use. Bring them all to me on a tray. But my father said, have two Cokes. "Apart from Coke, do you want anything else?" Of course, does that need to be said?But my father said, that's all. The father's face was very serious, because he realized that his brother might turn up around the corner. At least in front of his younger brother, he is still used to maintaining his old-fashioned and respectful posture. The dance floor was to our right and we saw a little stage with a full set of electro-acoustic instruments in the distance, but no one was there. I waited for my brother to come out of which lounge, with all his charming melancholy, clutching his guitar. For many years, I have been looking forward to hearing his own outstanding music. I am his most enthusiastic and eager audience. But something went wrong with him. He doesn't lack the talent for music, but he doesn't have the talent for life. Go play with women for two years, and then play your music. He couldn't listen, something was wrong with him. I turned my face to the left, drinking Coke, and slowly admiring the row of girls from the head. When I entered the door just now, I only saw a lot of dazzling and exciting colors, but I couldn’t see a single face clearly. . But the father's face turned to the right at this moment, staring at the orchestra pit, waiting for the younger brother's appearance. Hypnotized by the soft saxophone, a dozen couples of men and women are taking two steps on the dance floor. I noticed that several beautiful girls had been taken away by several wretched men, and I could only stare blankly at this, there was no other way. For a man like me who likes to do justice, life is undoubtedly a painful torture. There are fewer and fewer men like me who are outstanding and full of tenderness. It is your sorrow that your beauty is not respected before it withers, just as my talents are not appreciated enough. Later, currency became more and more important, which is good news for us. Its unparalleled intermediary price function gives us more opportunities to avoid being buried. Therefore, we should respect money. It corrupts us but is not born to corrupt us. It makes us proud but it does not encourage us to be arrogant. Recognize that we are so shameless. From the first day it appeared on this planet, it has firmly held the good will to help us. They run around and relieve our distress. We should treat it fairly. At this moment, the heartbreaking saxophone finally stopped, and the lights on the other side of the dance floor suddenly came on. I saw my father readjust his sitting position, and my brother and his skeleton band were about to appear. But after a moment of silence, the music was loud, and models dressed in fashion came out from the backstage one by one. A lady announcer smiled and said, it's time for the fashion show. Out of disappointment, none of us had the heart to watch. In fact, I think about it afterwards, that kind of fashion show is very enjoyable, although they are all amateur models, but they try their best to satisfy you, they have their merits. It seems that we can no longer wait passively, we are here to find my brother. I waved to the waitress standing by the wall. "Sir, what else do you want?" I told her we don't want anything. What time does the band show start?She said, it's over, the band performance time is from 8:30 to 9:00 every night, and it's already 10:30. So is the lad in the band still around?She said she didn't know. I told her that we were looking for the guitarist, can you go to the back for us and ask. She said yes. After a while, she turned around from behind, still with that standard smile, and told us that they left as soon as the performance was over. You can come back tomorrow, please remember it is from 8:30 to 9:00. My father immediately told me that we should go to the place where my brother lives now and we will definitely find him. I object to this suggestion, I said you have to leave early tomorrow, so forget it. And I promised my father, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, I will definitely go to see my brother, he will take good care of himself when he is such an old man. Only then did the father settle down in his seat. I smiled at him and pointed my chin to my left. Since my brother is not here, I said Dad, we can do something else. Father began to pay attention to the line of ladies with heavy make-up sitting by the wall. His eyes lit up, as if he had noticed them for the first time. How should I put it, Dad, you are much more cunning than your son. "Where are they sitting?" I don't know if my father really didn't know, or if he didn't know. I told him that they are waiting for business, they can chat with you, or dance with you, or let you take it home. Of course, all of this is first and foremost a commercial activity, governed by the law of value, and at the same time macro-control is also achievable. "How is this possible? All of this?" Dad couldn't believe it. They can form two basketball teams, one goes north and the other goes south. I still don't know if my father really doesn't know. It should be said that the old man is a well-informed person. But the affectation of my father who is over half a century old is a kind of affectation that I can accept at the moment, and it is not annoying at all. "They all look beautiful and dress well." Father continued, as if talking to himself. Of course, those who do business here are worth more, and it is untenable to have no capital. But I firmly believe that a woman who spends a thousand dollars is twenty times more exciting than a woman who spends fifty dollars, and this should be regarded as a truth. Whether you agree with it or not, this should be considered a truth. "But—they look very young." After the father finished speaking, there was inevitably an imperceptible shrunken look on his face. I said Dad, you must overcome your psychological barriers, which are unnecessary and imposed on you. As I said, sleeping with a woman my mom and grandma's age for me is a challenge for us men to do as much as it is for you to sleep with a sister's granddaughter's age. We have no reason to reject such a challenge, let us not let ourselves down, and let others down. Come on, make a show with your estranged son and show them. I took a taxi with the girl who looked like a middle school student, and we were the first to arrive. The girl is petite and dainty, which suits my taste very well. In the car, I put on a sophisticated look and put my arms around her, and she also naturally took on the attitude of a little bird, damn it, we are too much like a couple. We all entered the role, and God followed suit. She asked me to call her "Little Bell", what a nice name. I know that as long as I shake her body lightly, she will make a series of beautiful and beautiful wind chimes. On the way, I have already planned how to allocate my only house. As soon as Xiao Lingdang got out of the car, she complained about why there were no street lights and why it was so remote. I said to her, it's okay, you don't have to worry, we are all kind people. I said it very seriously, and in my mind, I can't remember a more serious time than this, and my father's car arrived shortly afterwards. Father's freshly dyed unmistakably black hair emerges first from the car. I watched my father walk to the other side of the car, and opened the car door for the girl named Shuang Hong in a decent and dignified manner. Oh my god, my father opened the car door for a bitch and graciously helped her out. Every movement sparkles with classic brilliance. I said Dad, I'm really proud of you, although it looks a bit flustered, but you are great enough. Li Hong was the oldest whore in that group of whores, and the reason for her choice was entirely because of her father's sexual desire boundary that was difficult to overcome for a while. Li Hong is much older than her companions, this is an obvious fact, and of course she is not older than thirty. This amateur whore, who is said to still work in a watch factory, was quite proud of her "winning bid" tonight. But no proud whore would like it. The four of us divided into two groups, one in front and one in back, and walked towards my residence. There are no pedestrians outside, and I guess it should be midnight. My father left Li Hong behind and ran up from behind, pulling me aside nervously. "I have a bad feeling, really." "what?" "Zhu Wu may be here, and he is in your room." . While we were talking, Li Hong and Xiao Lingdang joined together, which couldn't be considered a big mistake. I turned around and noticed that Li Hong was discussing something with Little Bell in a low voice while staring at us. Facts proved that my father's worry was unnecessary. We came downstairs and looked up to see that my window was dark and there was no light. There was another house on the first floor with the lights on, and there was a coughing sound from time to time. But they refused to go upstairs with us at this time, and stood down at the stairs. I whispered and waved behind me anxiously, rushing. But they just didn't leave. "Let's talk about the money first." Li Hong said. "Isn't it better to go up and talk about it? The third floor is not high." "No, it's still here." She spoke very firmly. We have no choice but to respect their opinions. At the same time, my father also asked them to respect us a little, and stand over the carport with me, and don't stand under the windows of other people's houses to talk about the fucking price. My father continued to stand on the stairs alone, and I thought it would be fine for me to come forward in such a matter. After several repetitions, Li Hong finally quoted the price first. "one thousand." I know, I know that one thousand is just a small amount of money, but unfortunately, so far, I have to admit that it is not a small amount of money, which is equivalent to the remuneration for a novella. According to the current comparison price, it is equivalent to one hundred and twenty-five dollars, you see, it does not sound so scary. That said, half an hour of her labor is equivalent to at least a month of my labor, a little unfair isn't it?I turned my face to the little bell who had not spoken all this time, and I still had some kind of sincere expectations for this pure girl. "how about you?" She seemed very surprised by my question, she said, of course there are so many, they came out together. Little bell, little bell, you hurt my heart too much. I always thought that people like me and you are not family members, but relatives. How can you have no human feelings at all?Inspired by my enthusiasm, they finally lowered the price to 800, which is 100 US dollars, but there is no room for further reduction. They said, I can ask, those who live in Jingang or Longmen are all At this price, they can't break the rules. I asked them to wait, and then I went to my father and asked him in a low voice, how much money do I have on me?My father said it was only three or four hundred. I guess I even count the coins on my body, which is probably the most. At this moment, my mind was very clear, and I looked back at the two girls standing five steps away, standing gracefully in the moonlight. They were standing very close to me, a hundred dollars away. It would be fine if the arabic number in my pocket was followed by $ instead of ￥. A dollar is a beautiful dollar, a beautiful dollar. In the end, I had to make a painful decision. This time I'll forget it, just clamp my legs together, and combine the money of the two of us to fulfill my father. It's not easy for him to come all the way. But after my father heard what I said, he seemed taken aback, what?How much do they want?Father vetoed the price outright, and his attitude was more resolute and unshakable than their insistence on the price. After all, my father and the others are always a generation that can completely deny their own sexual desires. I know what you mean, Dad, it's eight hundred dollars that deserves the respect of eight hundred dollars. But do you really understand eight hundred dollars?They are worth the price, they are innocent. I restrained myself again and again, I didn't want to have a big fight with my father and disturb other people's dreams. I can only blame myself, look, how poor I am, between two unchangeable opinions, like a sweaty clown, running around, jumping up and down, and finally have to give up my efforts . It seemed that they didn't sympathize with my embarrassing situation at all. They took the fifty yuan I gave me without any pretense, whispered about it, and went to the main road to call a taxi home. They just left, and I can't forgive them, although I really appreciate them in my heart. They themselves are part of the principle, I just hope that this principle can have a little human touch. It is this extravagant hope that appears from time to time that does not want to be extinguished, this or that extravagant hope for human touch, that created me in the midst of destruction, and made me accidentally become an artist. My father plodded up the stairs in front of me, and I followed behind, neither of us speaking. After we opened the door and turned on the fluorescent lights in the room, my father and I couldn't help screaming in surprise. The unshaven brother slept on my bed with his clothes on and his shoes on, but he was already asleep. After such a toss, I found that my father suddenly became old, his hair drooped weakly, his face was sallow, and his forehead was full of wrinkles. He spread his hands and sat on the chair, the pale light of the fluorescent lamp shone on his exhausted face, which made me unable to bear to face all this. It seems that this is also God's will, my brother still needs a decent father who is not stained, and we still need a decent and respectable father right now. My younger brother didn’t want to make love with me on that sofa bed, let alone with my father on that wooden bed where many people slept. He insisted on going back. In fact, after he was awakened by the light, he got up and left. . He didn't say a few words to his father, he understood that the purpose of this meeting was to let his father see him, since he did. He can go too. I walked downstairs with him. The younger brother came here by bicycle, of course he still went back by bicycle, but it was a long way. I said to him, why don't you talk to your father a few more words?You will later realize what a rare friend he was. said the younger brother. He's sleepy, next time. I didn't say anything else, my mind was empty, and no matter what I said now, it would first surprise me. My younger brother pushed the car to the main road outside, said hello to me and stepped into the car. I suddenly remembered something and called him quickly. My brother's bicycle turned slowly on the deserted road and stopped in front of me again. "What's up?" My brother seemed to be falling asleep. Let me tell you that it's not a big deal. I asked him if the girl named Xiaoyan sent him a letter. he said yes. I said, strange, how could she find you all of a sudden?The younger brother said, then you should ask her, how do I know. "Is she your girlfriend?" "no. She probably always thought it was. what? " Why not. I had a premonition that Xiaoyan would come to me, and now I have more reason to get along with her in my concise and clear way. that is really good. Thinking of this, the feeling that the sex life has just been halfway up in my heart rises again. The younger brother's dangling back finally disappeared at the end of the road. I was still standing by the side of the road, thinking of my father, I felt a little guilty. As for women, for me, there is always, no problem, but for my father, it is not necessarily so. 我让父亲和我穷折腾了一天，却什么也没有捞到。 一头豹子寻觅了一天如果没有找点吃的，晚上当它面对一窝小豹子时，它会内疚。 同样，一头已经足够健壮的小豹子，面对一只因为年老伤病或其他原因而不能再出去捕捉猎物的老豹子时，它不应该感到内疚吗？所以，当一辆送客归来的马自达飞快地从我的左侧驶来时，我便机械地伸出了我的左手。 王晴穿着一件白色的睡裙，睡眼惺松，她一开门劈头就骂我疯了，说我又哪根筋搭错了，怎么这个时候找过来。 而且平常她是从来不邀请我到她的住处去的。 我知道她住这，但我是第一次来，我已经违反了我们约定俗成的规则。 她看我神不守舍可怜巴巴的模样。 大概动了一个老女人的恻隐之心。 王晴让我快进来，就像我是什么被通缉的地下党似的，她还探头看了看门外．然后轻轻地把门关上了。 看来还算幸运，我没有和王晴这棵树上的另一只或者另几只猫头鹰撞车。 我坐在沙发上，目光呆滞地看着那个睡裙下清晰可见的力士香皂味的身体。 它的温度比此刻宜人的室温要高上十至十五度。 我的手插在裤兜里，这时碰到了一团凉冰冰的东西。 我把它拽了出来，是那条值零点二五美元的银项链。 王晴眼睛一亮，她说这是送给她的吗？I said ok. 她把项链随便地缠在手上，并不怎么当回事的样子，我知道她一眼就看出它的实际价值了。 她早就练就了这样一副眼力。 王晴问我有什么事？我说没事，没什么大不了的事。 她问我到底有什么事？我就问她，（是的，我想尽可能地说得坦率一些，）我们除了通奸关系，是不是应该说还有一点友谊？或者说，我们也算是朋友了，对吗？王晴回答得很谨慎，她说，就算是吧，那又怎么样？我想请你帮我一个忙，真的。 说完我用充满期待的目光看着她。 另外此刻我双眼因为发涩而满含泪水，这使我的目光更有份量了。 王晴显然被我从来没有过的严肃所感染，她说，只要她能帮的，她一定帮我，平常她也是这么向我标榜的，她始终觉得自己是个挺能干的女人。 我说，我想请你和我父亲睡觉，好吗？他是我这个世界上最爱戴的人，你会像我一样爱他的。 王晴脸色一阵发白，她觉得自己受了侮辱。 我完全可以避开王晴的巴掌，但是我没有避开，我眼睁睁地看着她的右手划了一个完美的弧线，然后重重地落在了我的左脸上。 在承受这个巴掌的过程中，我心情非常平静，我想到了小铃铛和李红，还有更多的更出色的婊子们，她们比王晴实在多了，很多问题，我和她们一定会谈得很好，谈得很投机，因为我们坐在一张像草席那么大的美元上交谈，牙齿一叩就是金币的声音，所以我们都能做到诚实。 但是，很多道理我是没法让王晴也懂得的，因为我和王晴从一开始，就处于他妈的那种什么也不是的虚幻不真的关系之中。 再接下来的事情，稀松平常。 半个小时以后，我躺在那张柔软的席梦思上昏昏欲眠，难以克服的厌恶在一个单身女人的卧室里漫延开来。 恍惚之中，我忽然觉得自己在这已经过去的一天里什么也没做，哪也没去，只是和一个三十四岁的女人在虚无的中心终于干完了一件可以干的事情。 〈全文完〉附录：你是流氓，谁怕你！简平（朱文小说集）通篇写的是一个“我”（根据评论者对我们的提醒，作者和笔下的人物具有同一的“互文性关系”），整天想着把所碰见的任何一个女人（不论年龄美丑）往床上抛，还帮着自己的父亲“找乐子”，满城满市地找妓女，当父亲看到那些姑娘还是孩子。 想起自己的女儿以至不忍下手时，他便振振有词地诘问：“你的女儿就不可能成长为一个像样的妓女了吗？” 在和妓女讨价还价时，因为口袋里的钱不够，就希冀着天上降一场大雪。 雪片都是一百面额的美元，纷纷扬扬，漫天飞舞。 “美元就是美丽的元，美好的元！” 对于这样满是流氓腔的下流、无耻的文字，竟有文学评论家欣欣然为此击掌欢呼，称一代“文学新人”正以新的姿态在迎接二十一世纪的到来，不仅为其打出所谓的“新状态”的文学旗号，还煞有介事地用各种玄乎的新名词为之作理论上的提升和包装。 令人费解的是，具有很高声誉的作家出版社也来推波助澜，还堂而皇之地在封底打上标签，宣称这是“现代人结束精神流浪的悲壮努力”，其谄媚、恶俗和麻木昏庸非但使人震惊，更使人愤慨。 随便选书中的一些文字，就是耸人听闻的。 “我们都要向钱学习，向浪漫的美元学习，向坚挺的日元学习，向心平气和的瑞士法郎学习，学习它们那种绝不虚伪的实实在在的品质。” “那些历尽磨难的老作家们，他们对钱不感兴趣，也没有睡过十个以上的女人，所以他们没能写出什么东西。 再看看稍后一些的作家，他们终于尝到一点金钱和女人的甜头了，但谈起来要么扭扭捏捏，要么装腔作势，所以我们也不能希望他们能干出什么像样的事情来”……任何时代，所有社会秩序和价值体系的重建，都是对人类自身的一次完善和提拔，而这种自吹全新的“根本理解”一听便知是彻底的根本性的倒退，不仅极端的下流、腐朽，最为恶劣的是侵犯了整个社会的利益，毒化了社会风气和人的心灵。 相对地摊上的黄色读物，更具欺骗性和误导性，因为它打着纯文学的旗号，用“文学理论”来作包装，使公众（特别是虔诚的文学爱好者）在惊吓失望之余，认为文学已到了如此不可救药的无耻、堕落的地步而远离文学。 已有一段时间，我们似乎听不到文学批评界坦诚而正直的声音，对当下的文学创作，一些评论家不是自愿放弃自己的声音，就是加入不痛不痒、吹吹捧捧的媚俗的合唱，要不便不负责任、哗众取宠地为这样的“流氓文学”摇旗呐喊。 不客气地说，目前的文学批评界与其说是不景气，倒不如说是自暴自弃。 而有的出版社也因为“我爱美元”，丧失基本的原则立场。 为劣质品打开绿灯，不惜毁弃自己的声誉、不惜损害文学事业。 正是这样的背景，使一些作者的流氓习气得以恶性扩张，并渗透到文学创作之中，无所禁忌，全然不顾社会影响而四处抛售龌龊委琐的东西。 （原载于１９９６年５月６日《新民晚报》）