My father's visits always caught me off guard. When I heard the heavy knock on the door, I knew who was coming, so I told Wang Qing to get dressed quickly. And the latter tried to hold me back and keep me quiet, as usual in such situations. The person who knocked on the door felt bored after knocking for a while, and then walked away by himself. I threw the dress on the wicker chair to Wang Qing, signaling her to hurry up. It's useless to dawdle, I know the person outside the door, so that my wooden door won't be smashed today, I started talking to the person outside through the door, I asked him when he arrived and how is his home , Are you passing by here on a business trip? Then, when will you leave?He slammed the door again, and said, let Lao Tzu come in.

Wang Qing finally tidied up. She still wanted to tidy up the messy bed, but I had already opened the door. Father rushed in, and quickly circled the room like a police dog, sniffing here and there, and finally his eyes naturally fell on Wang Qing. The latter stood by the bed a little uneasy, with disheveled hair, ruddy complexion, and a bit of beauty, which is not embarrassing to me. My father ignored my greeting, stepped forward, and said to her, Miss, what's your name?My father's accent is from the south to the north, and only the mother can understand every word without comprehension, because she does not listen to what his father said, but to the expression on his face.

Wang Qing said, what?She got a little curious, and the earthy smell of a local woman came out of her body. I didn't want my father to see that the woman his son was sleeping with just now was a complete scum, an old divorced woman. Then he would underestimate his son. I said to my father, what's her name is none of your business?While motioning for Wang Qing to go away first. Wang Qing took her small purse, smiled at my father and left, asking me to call her before leaving. At that time, I was worried that she would laugh. You don't know, when she smiled, the corners of her eyes were full of wrinkles.

During this process, Wang Qing kept clenching her right hand, not daring to relax in the slightest. In fact, I think my father had already seen at a glance that it was either a bra or white underwear that was too late to put on. Father went and drew the curtains and opened the door all the way, then sat down on the bed and took out his cigarette. Only now did I notice that my father came empty-handed, without even a piece of luggage. I didn't bother to talk first at this time, I was still immersed in the mood of the half-way sex life. I am not depressed, on the contrary, I have a feeling of slow rising that I have never experienced before.

My father couldn't sit still, so he got up and rummaged through my room again, and when he came across a letter, he would open it without hesitation, nagging at me, "Look, how many times have I told you how beautiful the weather is today, You need to do more outdoor sports and go to places with sunshine, water and fresh air. But Dad, some things can only be done in the room, what a pity, I dream that one day I can go to a sunny lawn to do this thing, like two happy animals. You didn't put that courage in my blood, you forgot to do it, any more than my grandfather passed it on to you.

After discussing with each other, the two decided to go find their younger brother first, and then find a place to have lunch. What the father meant was that it doesn't matter if you eat, as long as you can get a bowl of noodles. But when it comes to me, no matter what I say, I shouldn't let you eat noodles. My younger brother is still in college, in the fourth grade, majoring in mathematical statistics. I haven't seen him for a long time either. We had a fight because he wanted to drop out of school. His fingers were long and magical, and his ideal was to be a pop musician.

In fact, I was instructed by my father to teach him, and I myself have always been in favor of his way of going his own way. My father knew that only my opinion could influence my younger brother, and he also knew that he was capable of persuading me. Over the years, he had worked out a whole set of effective ways to deal with my eldest son. My younger brother finally accepted my opinion and promised to talk about it after finishing college, but he expressed his disappointment at my backlash. The way he expressed his disappointment was to attack my works mercilessly. He told me that a person with a mediocre life cannot write good works, and a narrow-minded person can only see his own toes and cannot see the world.

But brother, refusing mediocrity does not mean mobilizing the whole family to follow you and wipe your ass. Since I was a child, I have done my best to wipe your ass without complaint and regret, and I am infinitely proud of it. But, now that you're a grown man, you shouldn't be doing this anymore, do what you want, but promise me that from now on, you'll have to wipe your own ass. My mother gets a migraine when she thinks about her two sons who are not around, probably out on the streets, starved for food, not going to survive. "You won't marry that woman just now?"

In the public toilet at the intersection, my father suddenly turned his face and asked very seriously. "──No." "It's not because of that woman that you haven't married yet, is it?" "no no." "That's good." Father ran out without waiting to fasten his trousers, as he always did. When I first came outside, I was really not used to the bright September sun. I seem to have come from night to day in one step. It must be stated that I did not spend this good time in bed out of personal preference, but out of necessity. If you want to sleep with that woman named Wang Qing, then you can only do it during the day.

She didn't have time at night, and she might have promised another man to fuck her. He must be one or more men who are more important than me, so the prime time is reserved for them. At this point I had to make some concessions, my sexual needs were satisfied, and in this regard, my situation was never rich enough to not bother with it. When I was in college, I still had a relatively stable sex life, once or twice a week, my girlfriend was an active student union leader, and she had a key to the room next to the student club where the stationery was stacked. . It was a period of nostalgia. We had just returned to our respective dormitories after finishing the work, and I suffered from the "sex" disease again. I had to go to the door again, dragged my thin girlfriend out, and forced She opened that house to me again.

But after leaving school, I fell into a state where I was hungry and full, and I didn't eat the next meal. Mainly because I didn't have time, in order to live, I had to live a day and night in a factory, working seventy hours a week. Unexpectedly, instead of conquering the damn sex in my head, this made it even more rampant. My eyes are red, and when I meet a woman, I immediately move her to the bed. If I can't move it for a while, I turn around and leave without delay, because my time is limited, and I must make full use of it to do some real things. This is a disease, and taking a laxative every day can make the condition a little better. My catharsis was writing, writing endlessly. After drawing dozens of pages of manuscript paper, my gaze becomes softer. At this moment, I can think about some questions such as "where do I come from and where do I go?" I am such a patient, hopeless, anyone who wants to cure my disease can try it. My younger brother no longer lives in his dormitory. He rented a room with some friends outside. God, I didn't even know about it. At that time, the fourth class in the morning had just finished, and the corridors of the student dormitory were filled with the sound of rice bowls. They are so hungry that they think that knocking on the rice bowl can drive away the shadow of sexual repression. I grabbed a tall, lanky guy and asked him to tell me where my brother was new. But he said he didn't know. Father was still rummaging around in the dormitory, as if trying to find a gloomy younger brother from the pile of rubbish. There's nothing here, let's go. Father said, no, we'll just wait here, someone will know where he lives. Sure enough, a guy with glasses said he had been, put down the bowl, and drew a sketch for us. We found the place, a dingy-looking bungalow behind the municipal gymnasium. But my brother is still not there. I lie on the window and can see the electric guitar, electric bass and a few scattered toms in the room. There was no bed, just a few mats on the floor, and a few blankets on top of the mats. My father also went up to have a look, and turned around and said, do they just sleep like this?I could hear the accusation in my father's tone. Yes, how does my brother do it? Not only does he have a bed, but there is also a hot woman on the bed from time to time. It seems that I can only have lunch with my father alone. There was a tavern nearby. We were still hesitating at the door when a lady with heavy makeup rushed over and pulled my father in without any explanation. My father was sitting on the train seat opposite me. I took a closer look at him. His hair had lost a lot, and his forehead was like a bare rock emerging from the river of time. However, although he is over half a century old, his body is still as tough as a young man. There is a scar on the forehead, which is one of the great discoveries we have made about my father in recent years. We didn't notice for decades. My father said that when he was a child in his hometown, he was a powerful character. He could climb branches and jump from one tree to another, as agile as a monkey. But how did this scar come about? He never explained clearly. I told the waitress, look for him, he is the boss, and I am the servant. My father was indeed like a manager of a township enterprise who had experienced the world, and he seemed very comfortable in dealing with the flirting of that ridiculous little woman. He was not overwhelmed by her coquettishness, which can be seen from the dishes he ordered. We just wanted a bottle of beer, and when we finished we asked for another. Father's face brightened, his face disappeared without a single wrinkle, and his baldness became a nice hairstyle. The young lady was leaning on the counter like a chicken, smiling towards us, making a coquettish attitude, which seriously affected my appetite. For this kind of woman, I think my father is more attractive. "She's smiling at you." I said to my father. Father looked back, took a sip of his beer, and looked back again. "She looks very young," said the father, "about your sister's age." "Hey, don't make such an analogy, why do you want to make such an analogy?" "Why? She is indeed about the same age as Xiaoqing, isn't she?" "Yes, but you don't make analogies like that." "why?" My father compared it with me. "Because, if you make an analogy like this, you won't dare to attack her." We both laughed, and Dad nearly choked on the beer. I said Dad, if I want to sleep with an old woman, as long as I have such a thought, I will never compare them to my mother's age, or my grandma's age, then I will wilt, there is nothing I can do No. Do you want to sleep with a woman your daughter's age?They are young, like flower buds that have just bloomed. You have no impression of their beautiful and fresh bodies. Plump grapes are always on the market. There are many varieties, both expensive and cheap. There are no fresh grapes for sale in winter. Time, let's eat our raisins again. Life is like this, there are always fresh grapes, but later, you can't afford them, or you are forbidden to go to the free market. But you can always think of something, don't you?You should try it, if you get the chance. When we laughed, the young lady who was as old as my sister seized the opportunity. She walked over carelessly and sat next to my father. The neckline of the skirt was low enough, but it was useless no matter how low it was, because she didn't have breasts, and when she was developing, she forgot to grow them, and now she remembered that she had missed the opportunity. Faced with such a woman, my mood is always very low, and I want to cry for the misfortune of this fellow sister. "You must be speaking ill of me, I hear you!" The father quickly said no, no, and moved his butt towards the wall, because she was almost sitting on his lap. I took another glass from the next table and poured her more than half a glass of beer. "Our boss was still praising you just now. You should have a drink with our boss. " "yes?" She was also modest, picked up the cup and touched her father's cup. Father is now a little cautious. From the look in his eyes, I could see that my father didn't see her as a woman to have sex with, he probably regarded her as a classmate that his sister brought home. "Is there still a fake? Our boss said that the lady is very beautiful, and is going to ask the lady to go out dancing at night." "yes?" She looked at me, then at her father. "Where are you from?" father suddenly asked. "──Anhui." "I know Anhui very well. Where is Anhui?" "Why, I'm from Chaohu." "I've been to Chaohu Lake, where is your home in Chaohu Lake?" I don't know what my father wants to do. I think his topic is meaningless and blind. So I interrupted my father. "How about it, are you free tonight? I'll pick you up for our boss." "what?" "Why? Do you really not know, or are you pretending not to know? Pick you up to play." "Okay, go to Manhattan, or go to..." "No, no, our boss doesn't want to dance today, so we can do something else." "Then what are you doing?" "Our boss is leaving on a plane tomorrow morning, why don't you spend time with him tonight." "Go, I knew it, you want to ask me to do bad things." "That's a good thing, how can it be called a bad thing?" "You can play, I've never done anything bad." "I don't believe it. You've never done it? Not even once?" "Never did. real. People ask me out every night, but I never do anything bad with them. " "It's amazing, it's amazing." I turned to my father and said, "Boss, look, I really want this young lady to be my wife. Boss, what do you think? I won't let you keep saying that I don't want to get married." "That can't be done," said the father. "After you get married, she won't do bad things to you. Are you finished?" "What are you talking about!" The lady looked terribly wronged. "Do you want to do it or not? I'll ask you again." "I really don't. However, I can introduce you to my friends, I have many friends, they are all beautiful, they will be there. " "Really? They won't be as unruly as you are, will they?" "Oh, if you don't do bad things with you, you can't be called a way? You are a real person." "Why, not convinced? Not convinced, just try it once." "It's useless for you to provoke me. I will definitely not do bad things." "You'll do it later, we'll come back to you in a year, okay?" Apparently, Father had eaten less lunch than usual, but he could tell he was in a good mood. When I went out, my father said to me solemnly that the little woman without breasts just now is really not a chicken. I said, how can you be so sure?He said that she was a bit like Xiaoqing, she was still a child. How about someone like Xiaoqing?Is it impossible for your daughter to grow up to be a decent whore?This profession is older than our traditions. On the question of whether prostitution is a woman's natural occupation. I had an argument with my father. In fact, he agrees with my point of view, but we need to argue, some issues we need to argue with ourselves. Father's voice gradually lowered, because we came to the bungalow rented by my brother again. He still hasn't come back. My father leaned over the window and watched for a while, and suddenly asked me, has my brother had a girlfriend?I said I don't know, at least I haven't seen it. Such a big man didn't even think about having sex with women in the past, he only knew to hold his piano all day long. I think something is wrong with my brother's life. Father leaned over the window sill and wrote a note, which was stuck in the crack of the door. He asked his younger brother to visit me when he came back. Finally, my father agreed that I would arrange for him the afternoon and evening. Tomorrow morning, he will rush back. He is going to a nearby city for a meeting, and he will drop by to see us. He always rushes over when he makes a last-minute decision like this. Sometimes he can't even touch a child, and he walks around the street twice to buy a pair of socks and then goes back. Thinking about it now, my father was a person with a strong sexual desire, but he was born at a bad time. Their sexual desire at that time was not called sexual desire, but ideal or pursuit. Every morning when my father gets up, he has to run 10,000 meters on the playground or on the road. This habit has probably been quit by the old man now because it is no longer necessary. Therefore, I also know that those few milliliters of napalm should be used sparingly, and I can't use full power all the time. Like the world, energy issues are your major concern today and tomorrow. I also left a note on my door telling my brother to go outside and wait in his room if he came. He has the key to my room. But my father still said, should we just stay in the room and don't make him wait for a long time. I said there was no need to do this, and my intuition told me that he would not come this afternoon. Normally, he might have found you, but if he knew that it was you, he would not have come. Therefore, we should not waste a whole afternoon of good time in vain. My father suggested that he wash his face before going out. He seemed a little tired, but there was not even a bottle of hot water in my room. Let me say this, I'll take you to a small hair salon downstairs, I'll ask you to wash your face, and by the way, ask that girl from Wenzhou to help you dye your hair. Of course, I didn't forget to put all the money under the mat before going out. That's all my savings, and I'm going to spend them all without a penny left, and that's a very happy thing. Too bad I've never had a lot of money to splurge, I'm just unlucky. But I believe that one day I will become famous, and then as soon as I open the door, there will be a lot of checks hitting me, and I can't avoid it. That thing called the dollar has such an amiable face, full of fascinating exoticism. A US dollar check turned into more RMB checks in mid-air, floating down like magic. I opened my hands and looked at the blue sky, gratefully receiving this colorful rain of happiness. I won't feel distressed by it, give me a chance, I'll do it once for you to see, I just want to make you a money machine that never rusts and will excite you. In the end, as my friend predicted, I must die poor and lonely in my old age. Such an ending is very to my liking, even if I still want to sniff the fragrance of the little girl at that time, there is not enough gasoline to start me up again. No, it doesn't matter if you have money or not. My father stood in front of the mirror in the hair salon, looking at himself carefully. It was obvious that he was very pleased with his new look, even though the first-class hair looked more like a wig at the moment. When he was young, his father was a handsome boy, very intoxicated by himself, especially good at playing basketball, of course he played in the midfield. Later, no matter at home or at work, he was good at playing in the midfield. If there is no midfield position for him , he will be sad. When I was in college, my father was the main force of the school's men's basketball team and the coach of the women's basketball team. He often took a dozen young and energetic female players to compete in brother schools. He showed me those yellowed black and white photos, trying to make me respect him more, only to make me madly jealous. I've asked my dad more than once since I got my first erection if he's had one of these, and you have to be honest with me. I'd jump for joy if he said he fucked them all. But my father's answer was very flat. He said that there was no such thing, and it was not popular at that time. Now my father turned around, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "Let's go!"It seems that he is going to take his basketball team to the north and south again. I said wait, the money hasn't been paid yet. I gave the little woman who smelled of hairspray a hundred-dollar bill and asked her to break it open for me. Whenever this happens, I seem to be able to hear a pleasant metal bump in my ears, as if a tuning fork is tapped lightly, and a banknote becomes several small banknotes. Of course, I can also let her not have to look for it, just ask her to lead my father behind the curtain and give him something of considerable value. But this young lady from Wenzhou is really ugly except for her age. I'm afraid my father won't be able to get hard. In addition, if nothing else, her body must be poisonous. So, I shouldn't have done that, and I felt that doing that would be a disservice to the friendship I had with my father for many years. I have to admit here that I've fucked uglier women myself, and that's okay, and I'm not ashamed of it. But when I imagine my father or my good friend hanging out with such a woman, I can't suppress my anger. I love my father. When we were walking on the busiest street in this city, I found that many passers-by had to look at my father more, not at his face, but at his hair. He walked fast, weaving through the crowd, often leaving me far behind. I like to see his back, like a young man full of drive with his hands in his trouser pockets. Sometimes from my vantage point, I can only see that black hair bobbing and sinking with the flow of people, like a flag. But, after all, it was a fucking "one-wash black" dyed black hair, and thinking about it, I couldn't help but feel a sore nose. My son will be behind me, watching my back, my grandson will be behind my son, watching my son's back, of course, my grandson's back will be reserved for his successors. We lined up and became the kind of dragnet I saw in my hometown. Women of all ages shuttled through it like colorful tropical fish. Sometimes we got something, sometimes we didn’t get anything. We said no. You can't tell the happiness in it, but you can't tell the sorrow in it, that's it. As I said, I unfortunately contracted the disease of "sex". It is said that it is hereditary, but it can also be transmitted by contact. In this regard, how much I envy my father, he will not have this disease, but he is very calm, the disease has never been so serious, it is as inconspicuous to him as a cold. Of course──can I say that? ──This is the fundamental reason why this disease became so serious when it came to me. I chased after a few steps and caught up with my father. I said to him, seeing you walking so fast, it seems that you have already planned where to go. Father said, no, didn't you decide where to go? "Since you haven't decided where to go, why are you walking so fast ahead?" "Let's go, it's nice to just go for a walk. Tell me, where are you going? " I don't know where to go. I watched my father come to the drink point on the street and bought two paper cups of Coke. Father's face looked so healthy in the sun, the sun shining through his pores. He seems to be sweating a little, his hair sticks together, naturally not as elegant as before, I am worried that a small black water will flow from his face, promise me, don't do this. Did your mother ask you to buy something on your behalf?I asked him. The father said, no, your mother doesn't know that I have come to you. So you are as free as I am?Of course, it's a man with another man, so what are we supposed to do?It goes without saying that we should do what men do. But it's afternoon and the sun is still this high?Really, so what if the sun is so high!As long as I took out two coins and tossed them, only to hear two crisp sounds, the night came ahead of time for us. My father and I held our respective Cokes and squatted on the steps on the sidewalk. We just looked up at each other from time to time, but the underlying conversation never stopped. I think I should understand what my father needs. In this regard, the son should not shirk his responsibility. If I have a free day in the future, get rid of the old and the young, get rid of the reputation status, and rush out to find my son, I hope to see my son can be a promising father who can work hard for him Have some rare fun instead of being an idiot with pious but hollow respect, respect. Listen to me, son, respect isn't cheap. We all have to learn from money, from the romantic dollar, from the strong yen, from the calm Swiss franc, and learn from their real qualities that are not hypocritical. Unexpectedly, the Coke paper cup brought us a little trouble. While walking, my father and I talked about the situation in the Gulf with great enthusiasm. War or talking about war has always been used to alleviate some libido problems. His left hand kept waving, so he didn't notice that his right hand had thrown the crushed paper cup at the door of the Jeanswest clothing store. Normally he would never be like this, I promise, because of the growing tension in the Gulf. In addition, it may be because of me that my father always loses his composure a little every time he is with me. The middle-aged woman in the red armband yelled in the local dialect, ran up from behind, and grabbed her father's arm. When he understood what was going on, his father's face turned red all of a sudden. He kept saying sorry, then quickly ran over, picked up the paper cup and threw it into the grass-green fruit box. But doing so was still not enough for the middle-aged woman with a fleshy face, so she tore off a fine in a hurry, not much, only two yuan. Father froze, and the three stood there facing each other. The people on the street came to us and encountered a small unexpected reef, and some people began to pay attention to us. This kind of thing always gives me a headache. I have never had the patience to deal with it. Even if I only have two dollars in my pocket, I will give it to her without hesitation at this moment, so as not to be tired of talking. The redness on my father's face faded, and he became very calm. He stretched out his hand to hold down my hand that took out the money. Just listen now, the two of you started arguing with each other sentence by sentence, until we were surrounded by spectators. I feel very unnatural, I have a shortcoming that I want to save face, so my right hand can't help but take out money again. While my father was talking eloquently, without raising his eyes, he stretched out his hand and pressed my hand accurately again. I was a little unhappy, I wanted to break free from my father's hand and pull out the damn two dollars, but my father's hand secretly increased its strength. I felt my father's determination, so I let it go. As a son, what I can do at this time is to stick to my father's side, no matter how many people surround me, no matter what kind of eyes others look at us. I didn't speak for my father, I didn't say a word, and now I think about it, I am very disappointed in myself. That middle-aged woman with a fleshy face was unreasonable at first. Later, it was as unreasonable as cursing, and she insisted on taking the two yuan home. The father's explanation became a little more interesting accordingly. He said that he was going to take that paper cup home and continue to use it. What a beautiful paper cup, how could he be willing to throw it away?But unfortunately it was lost, just like losing a wallet. Losing a wallet is bad enough.Is there still a fine?never heard of that. She retorted, something to bring back?Then why did you just throw it in the trash?My father smiled and said that it fell to the ground and was covered with dirty things, that is to say, it is no longer the paper cup I want to take back, it is no longer the original paper cup, so I threw it away. When I finally got out of this thing, I was in a terrible mood. But my father seemed a little complacent, the two dollars did not fly away from our pockets, and he was still enjoying the warmth of our loved ones in our pockets. According to the current exchange rate, two dollars is 0.25 dollars, or 25 cents. I walked very slowly behind my father, not wanting to catch up. At first my father didn't notice it, but after walking fifty meters, he realized it. He stood there and waited for me to catch up. "You think I've disgraced you, don't you?" "What face do I have to lose to you, really, I have no face. I was silent by the side, do you think I've lost your face? " "No." "No? Do you think I'm dishonest?" "nor." "nor?" Dad and I both laughed. We resumed walking, but still did not speak to each other. Near the overpass, several women in Hmong costumes came up to sell silverware to us. They were known to be liars, but their dresses were so bright and new that they were forgiven. Father carefully studied their clothes from top to bottom, not looking at the silver necklaces and bracelets in their hands. I paid for a silver necklace, and I can't resist being persuaded. What's more, it's very cheap, only two yuan. I know it's a fake, but it's very beautiful, even more beautiful than the real thing. Father wrapped the necklace around his hand, looked at it repeatedly, and said, it was indeed good. He said to buy another one. I knew he wanted to take it home as a gift for my sister, but I sent her away for two dollars. She is still in middle school, and her grades are not very good, because she looks as shiny as this silver necklace. "Look, you can buy such a beautiful thing for two dollars!" "What do you mean?" I asked my father. "It's nothing, if I gave you two dollars just now..." "Isn't it worth two dollars to buy a quiet ear?" "Worth it or not, we don't care. If you do that, I always feel that there is not enough respect for the two dollars, don't you see?It is two dollars, and it deserves the respect of two dollars. " Finally, we came to South Studios. Here is an exclusive screening of a romance film that won some kind of award, so there are many people in the hall, and the 3:30 show is about to be checked. Tickets are easy to buy, but the coquettish escorts are hard to find. Usually, it is not difficult to find here. You can spend 40 yuan and buy two tickets for a box, and you don’t have to worry about having no one to accompany you to watch. After the screening starts, the lights are all blacked out, and you can do your own thing in the corner to the rhythm of the screen. Of course, it is difficult to go deep, but you can sit on the sofa and discuss it slowly and calmly. After watching the movie, find another place to move to another battle. Five minutes into the movie, I finally caught two. Not looking ideal, the two of them walked the hall together, in short black dresses. Those four legs were so thin that they didn't even have any flesh, just like two branches of a winter tree. But we should not forget that in those two inconspicuous tree branches, if nothing else, there are two small bird nests with reasonable structure, and there will be a warm little bird egg in the nest every month. We should stop demanding, our time is limited. I bought two sets of box tickets and planned to split up with my father. The latter seems to be a little unfamiliar with this method, but I believe in his adaptability that has passed the test of time. When entering. I whispered in my father's ear that the fare was forty yuan. According to the current comparison price, it is five dollars. I just want to remind him that, in his own words, it is 40 yuan, and he should be respected by 40 yuan. What a love movie this is. The hero Kobayashi is an unlucky painter. I couldn't sell a single painting, and in the end I didn't even have the money to buy oil paints, let alone hire models. In order to make a living, he had to go to the street to do portraits for people. This business is not easy to do, because Kobayashi always does not look like his paintings. His customers said to him, is this me?Then refuse to pay. At this time the heroine appeared, her name is Xiaoai. She sat down gracefully on the square stool opposite Xiao Lin. Kobayashi was a little nervous.Because the fat man who came with Xiao Ai was standing behind him, watching his every stroke like a vicious dog. Of course this time. Kobayashi's drawing was terrible, and he kept modifying it, causing the beautiful face to become a little dark. The man jumped up first, threw the portrait on the ground, and seemed to want to beat Xiao Lin. But Xiao Ai came over. Picking up the painting from the ground, looked at it carefully, and said, she likes it. Kobayashi unexpectedly got double pay. This is the beginning of Xiaolin Xiaoai's love story. Going on, the plot is a bit uncomfortable. Xiao Ai turned out to be a wandering warbler, living by sleeping with men. She would come to Xiao Lin's art booth every week, ask Xiao Lin to paint her portrait once, and then give Xiao Lin a sum of money. This money can maintain Xiao Lin's expenses for a week, and can also buy some paints. When the money was spent, Xiao Ai came again, that is to say, Xiao Lin had to draw a portrait of Xiao Ai every week, and looked at Xiao Ai with those eyes every week, so love arose spontaneously. But Xiao Ai has always rejected Xiao Lin's unreasonable ideas and prevented him from approaching her. Kobayashi was of course very distressed, but he could continue to paint after all. In this way, the artist Kobayashi passed the most difficult period in his life. His paintings began to sell well and he became a little celebrity. He himself wanted to leave this place to seek greater development. So he wanted to find Xiaoai and tell her this. I guess he also wanted to sleep with Xiaoai so that they could have an explanation for their relationship. 但是阴差阳错，他没能见到小艾。 他便在他的画摊那贴了一张给小艾的公开信，上面说他爱她，请她不要躲避他，并且留下了联系地址。 小林离开那个地方以后，一直在等着小艾的信，但是一直没有。 他就是在这种思恋中继续他的艺术生涯的，结果他成了一个名闻遐迩的大画家。 这种故事难免有一个庸俗的结尾，功成名就的小林回到了那个地方，在一个意外的场合见到了倍受男人摧残的婊子小艾。 后者年老色衰，拉不到什么客人了。 小林没有嫌弃她，把她带回旅馆，两个人终于睡了一回。 小艾身体满是让人潸然泪下的伤痕。 但是小艾始终否认她就是小艾，她对小林说，他编这套谎话来骗她，是不是想不付钱。 小林还想说什么，小艾大闹起来，引起很多人围观。 小艾大骂着，要他赶快付钱，小林没有办法，在众人的注视下痛不欲生地扔下了一沓钞票。 请注意，这里是慢镜头，一张张美丽的美元身体轻盈地旋转着，缓缓地飘啊，飘啊。 婊子小艾忙不迭地把钱捡了起来，骂骂咧咧地离开了旅馆。 她已经有些年头没卖过这么好的价了。 免不了还有这样的镜头，小艾匆匆地转过几个街角，然后在黑暗的角落里靠着墙流下了亮亮的泪珠。 小林无限惆怅地踏上归途，他当然落下了心病，这对他以后的艺术生涯无疑也是很有帮助的。 这就是一个伟大的婊子成就一个艺术家的爱情故事，编剧是朱文。 这种故事一分钱两个，既批发也零售，你就慢慢享用吧。 我很想知道父亲那边的进展情况。 但是我什么也看不见，电影院里光线只够你跌跌撞撞地找到上厕所的路。 我搂着的那个女孩──我得这么称呼，因为她告诉我她只有十七岁──跟我要一听可乐，我给了她一块口香糖。 我说，喝那么多水干嘛，上厕所不是件很麻烦的事情吗？她说，你这人怎么这样，小气巴拉的。 我说懂了，你要一听可乐其实并不是因为渴，是吗？你只是认为让我在这摸摸弄弄的，你有理由让我再花上妈的四块钱，也就是零点五美元。 对吗，没关系，一会儿散场的时候，我再给你四块钱现金就得了。 她把我的手从她的裙子里拉了出来，说你这个人真没劲，一点情调都没有。 情调？情调是什么东西？我因此认为，这个女孩还没有成长为一个地道的婊子，她还知道情调，可以去做一个女作家女诗人。 电影上的情调把她完全吸引住了，她像截木头那样听凭我的手在她身上寻找我的情调。 后来，我觉得乏味得很，便离了座，开始在黑暗中辨认父亲的方位。 转了一大圈也没能找到，因为坐在这种鸳鸯座里的人都抱成一团，隐隐地，你可以看到一些修长的腿在闪光，但是就是看不清脸。 在这祥的光线下，脸已经不重要了。 不得已，我又回到我的包厢，很后悔没记好父亲的包厢号，因为此刻我真想看看父亲的德行。 我重新坐了下来，侧过身体，刚想把手伸过去，却意外地发现那个女孩出神地盯着银幕，眼角挂着一颗晶亮的泪珠。 我迟疑了一会儿，把手又缩了回来。 你说这算什么事，我对自己有那么一点失望，我竟然认为婊子的眼泪比她的另一种分泌物更应该得到男人的尊敬。 这就坏了，我没能克服这一点，剩下的时间就被我给浪费了。 当电影的情节稍微有一点欢乐色彩的时候，我问她，你的同伴多大岁数？她说，和她同岁。 你们不会还在上中学吧？她真诚实，她告诉我，她们确实是高中二年级学生。 这就有点意思了。 我的妹妹，也是高二的学生。 出于好奇，我接着问她，你们父母是不是过世得早？她很生气，骂了我一句，说你父母才死得早呢。 那你们是为了买新衣服的钱才出来干这一行的吗？我接二连三的问题显然已经让她有些不耐烦了，她皱着眉头，追问我，干哪一行？明摆着，这一行啊！你说说清楚，我们是干哪一行的？那还用说嘛，你们是婊子，我们是嫖客。 那还会有错吗？她不吭声了，半天才说了一句，你这个人真没劲。 又过了一会儿，她提出要上厕所。 我说，你自己去好了。 她挎上她的小包笃笃笃地去了，但是再也没有回来。 我是一个人呆在空阔的包厢里把影片看完的。 散场以后，我随着人流往外去，我头昏脑胀，但心里仍然是那种性生活刚进行了一半的感觉。 那个老女人王晴现在不知道在谁的怀抱里。 我四处看了看，希望看到父亲和他那个婊子，希望他别像我这样倒霉。 我自己琢磨着，这四十块，我大概只捞回来四分之一，也就是说，其中三十块，合三点七五美元泡了汤。 我在电影院门口的台阶上站了很久，始终不见父亲出现。 又过了大概五分钟时间，父亲终于出现了，他站在对面的商场门口大声叫着我，手里挥动着一串烤羊肉。 现在他要到我这边来，必须从天桥上过来。 我仰着头就这么看着父亲一个人精神抖擞地拾级而上，然后在繁华的车流之上水平地滑行，再然后，他一步两个台阶地下来了。 看那架势，他应该是已经把我失去的三点七五美元多少捞回了一点才是。 我的父亲是个务实的人，从不做无谓的事情，也从来不搞情调，他总是让我对自己充满信心。 但是，这一回我们亏惨了。 父亲没等到女主角小艾出场，就溜出了电影院，一个人在大街上转悠了一个多小时，吃了五串烤羊肉、五串烤猪肉还有一碗牛肉粉丝、一串冰糖葫芦。 他再次成功地把性欲转化成了旺盛的食欲，这使我对他很是不满。 更让我不解的是，父亲和那个瘦瘦的小姑娘在一起没呆满十分钟，他就迫不及待地把那条银项链作为礼物送给了她。 你碰都没碰她，为什么还要送她东西？父亲的回答很含糊，颠来倒去，无非是强调她还很小，她还是个孩子。 父亲的意思是，如果，一个女人还很小，还没到谋生的年龄，她就有权利无偿地得到所有的东西。 这是一种虚伪的情感，我决定就此不放过，狠狠地攻击一番父亲，这种机会不常有。 我必须紧紧地抓住。 首先，我夺过父亲手上剩下的那串羊肉，愤愤不平地把它吞了下去。 然后，我就执意要父亲解释他是怎么尊重那条银项链怎么尊重那两块钱的。 起初他不以为意，乐呵呵的，随我怎么说。 但是后来他终于急眼了，脸一板，在马路斑马线的中央站了下来。 一辆黑色的小轿车擦着他的臂弯呼啸着过去了。 “你听我说，其实只要静下心来，你就会知道，我们真正需要的女人并不像我们渴望的那么多。 我们只需要很少的一些，这就够了，不是吗？ " "I have no idea. 我至少清楚自己并不像你说的那样。 " “不，不。 You think again. 你的需要也不更加特别，不要相信自己的渲染。 我承认，你比我年轻，身体比我棒，可能你比我需要的更多一些，但是也绝对不会多到你以为的那种地步，你再想一想。 " “我不和你争这个问题。 我不认为身体好的人就更需要性。 或者，我乾脆这么说，性与身体无关。 一个男人即使被阉割了，他也需要性。 性并不是简单的夫妻生活，也不是通奸乱伦，它要广阔得多，它是无时不在的，有时是个眼神，有时是一个动作。 一个不正视性的人，是一个不诚实的人。 我不愿意和这种人打交道。 " 父亲变得急躁起来，他用手无奈地指了指我，然后摇了摇头。 十字路口的交警这会儿冲我们这边吆喝起来，他要我们赶快离开。 我扶住父亲的肩膀在一辆加长的公共汽车驶过之后，迅速地穿过马路，来到路边站着。 在我们的身边立着一个呆头呆脑的分贝仪，它告诉我们这个城市的噪音到底有多大。 父亲显然被我的不信任所伤害了，低着头，年过半百的中年人的苍老的神态流露出来。 我多么不愿意看到这样，我爱我的父亲。 多年以来，他无条件地容忍了我这么一个儿子，他已经够伟大的了。 我没有权利继续苛求我的朋友。 我拍拍父亲的肩膀，然后建议，算了，我们去看看弟弟，看他回来了没有。 但是父亲没挪地方。 “不能算了，你必须跟我说说清楚。 是我不诚实吗？我看，是性把你的脑袋烧糊涂了。 不是每一个男人看到随便一个女人都想到去搞，都想到该死的性。 人跟人是不一样的。 看到女人就上去搞，那就叫诚实，不想上去，就叫不诚实，哪有这么简单的事情。 " “我是觉得亏嘛，钱花出去了，但是我们什么也没有捞到。 可能这还涉及不到性，这就是生意嘛。 谁也不想做赔本的生意。 用你的话来说……”“你从小就喜欢滥用我的话。 比如，刚才那个女孩。 我看着她，自始至终，脑袋里就没想到什么性，这不是一件很正常的事情吗？如果我为了不让你看我笑话，而强迫自己把那根性神经调动起来，你就觉得我真实了，是吗？ " “我反正不知道怎么想。 你说了半天，也没说到我最关心的问题上。 我是想要你解释，你为什么要把那条银项链送给她，她是晓晴吗？她是我妹妹吗？ " “她坐在我旁边，主动过来，偎依着我，当时我确实觉得有那么一点温暖。 但是记住，这种温暖与你的性无关。 所以，我就把项链给了她。 我知道她这种温暖很廉价，但是那根项链也很廉价，不是吗？你还想知道些什么？ " 我冲父亲笑了笑。 “好了，我们不谈了。 反正我今天算是看到了，你的勇气就像你的性欲那样都有着很显然的界限，不像我想象的那样厉害。 不过，也不令人十分失望。 " “说得轻松，你先活到我这岁数再说。” 我们来到三十一路站牌下，准备乘车去弟弟那里。 父亲忽然抓住我的胳膊，很严肃地对我说，我跟你说，你这个人现在有问题。 what is the problem?你给我记住，性是生活中的一件必要的事情，但不是一件特别的事情。 我对他说，这种话谁都会说，像一句空洞的名言。 问题是人们没法按照名言去生活。 我们知道性不是坏东西，也不是好东西，我们需要它，这是事实。 如果我们的生活中没有，正好商场里有卖，我们就去买，为什么不呢？从商场里买来的也是货真价实的，它放在我们的菜篮里，同其他菜一样，我们不要对它有更多的想法。 就像吃肉那样，你张开嘴把牲也吃下去吧，只要别噎着。 你要努力吃得体面一些，你要努力吃得心安理得，你要努力吃出经验来，你要努力保持住你良好的胃口。 吃肉的前前后后，你犯不着来一段抒倩，或者来一段反思，那么性也一样，吃吧。 父亲打断了我的夸夸其谈，他对我说，那好，就用你的话我再给你进一言，性这玩艺只能当菜吃，不能当饭吃。 不过也没关系，父亲继续说道，时间会有耐心慢慢地教育你，用不着我来为你操心。 弟弟还是不在，租来的那间平房里仍然是空荡荡的。 父亲写的条还插在门上，看来没人回来过。 但是父亲趴在窗上借着傍晚的光线看了半天以后，断定有人曾经回来过，因为他认为那条绿条纹的毯子被挪动过了。 父亲总是能看到一些你根本注意不到的细节，你没注意到就只能凭他说，所以你也没法知道他说的对不对。 因为总是找不到，所以弟弟变得更加重要起来。 父亲执意要在晚饭以前到弟弟学校里再去找一找。 我劝他算了，找到了，见面也不愉快，何必呢？下次等你时间充裕一点的时候，我们再来找他。 那晚上我们干什么？父亲问我。 我听出他的语气中似乎有某种隐秘的期待。 我说爸爸，我这个人你还不了解吗，我肯定会不遗余力地为你找一点乐子来，我知道这些年来你支撑着这个家很不容易。 我是长子，尤其能体谅到这一点。 但是你来得太仓促，而你的儿子目前还不是个拉皮条的，手里没有一串芳香的ＢＰ机号码。 我本人的境况你也看到了，不富裕，我只能尽力而为。 再加上你的趣味，又是那么不合时宜，所以作为一个厚道的朋友，我不向你保证，我们一定会过上一个充实的夜晚，这种事只能走着瞧，你说呢？我们都有点举棋不定，在我们面前匆匆而过的是下班的车流，在这条车流中浮沉的是长统袜连裤袜以及那个被巧妙隐藏着的金光闪闪的性。 我意外地发现，她们都很出色，带着骄傲的神情，从父亲和我的荒凉的岛屿旁流了过去。 我们的生活出了什么问题，这些女人为什么不停下来，她们都要滑到哪里去呢？我觉得我的双眼已经很累了，在我看来，那些流动不定的色块的光芒就像锋利的针一样。 父亲朝我转过脸来，我的天啦，他的眼角还有泪水，他是老砂眼，我是小砂眼。 所以，我们最好不要再在路边呆下去了，我们这就起步去找弟弟。 我猜想弟弟已经知道父亲来了，所以我对他可能出现在我们能找到的地方不抱什么希望。 我和弟弟谈过多次，我说父亲毕竟是我们的老哥们，他对你的干涉完全是出于一个长辈善意的考虑，你不应该计较。 父亲瞧不上你的音乐也是自然不过的事情，因为应该说他基本上（虽然他不承认）是个五音不全的人。 他也瞧不上我的写作，他认为我的小说格调低下，我的诗歌没什么名堂，这有什么关系呢？每次在我最需要帮助的时候，父亲就站了出来，这就足够了。 你不要成天为你自己感动，以为只有你绝不媚俗，要记住，你的绝不媚俗就是以父亲毫不掩饰的庸俗为代价的。 我们在那所综合性大学的教学区里转悠了半天，不见弟弟的踪影。 这座学府里至少有一万形形色色的学生，我们这样的盲目的寻找本身就是个错误。 我们在内容丰富的布告栏前盘桓了很长时间。 自从大学毕业以后，我就没再走进过哪座学府的门，父亲恐怕更是这样。 时过境迁，曾经熟悉的一段让我不胜厌倦的生活重新变得亲切起来。 父亲和我都行走在各自的回忆之中。 有四五个女生说说笑笑走在我们的前面，好像是低年级的，我和父亲不自觉地就跟在了后面，像两个花痴。 其中一个扎辫子的女生马上发现了我们，不时地回头看上我们一眼。 我注意到，她比刚才活跃许多，一举一动有了一点表演的色彩，她已经意识到此刻她拥有一老一少两个虔诚的观众。 妈的，现在想起来，学校真是个好去处。 如果你的口袋里没有沉甸甸的美元，又想搞到多一点的女人──就像我这种角色──你最好到学校里来。 这里是一片广阔的天地，你会大有作为的。 就这样，我们亦步亦趋地跟在那四五个蹦蹦跳跳的小松鼠的后面，在学校里兜了一个大圈子，实际上我们已经忘记我们来这的目的了。 在体育馆门口，我们不得不停了下来，因为这会儿在那进出的都是焕发着青春朝气的女生，有的已经换上了一身健美服，有的正准备换上。 她们的健康实在让我们自惭形秽。 我说爸爸，一不小心，我们已经跟踪追击到她们的老窝来了。 我递给父亲一支烟，我们就在一棵大树下继续站着，脸色严峻，我们似乎是想觅个机会将她们一网打尽。 没一会儿，哨子响了，一个穿着教练服的中年妇女拍拍手，姑娘们就在体育馆前的草坪上集合起来，叽叽喳喳的，全都穿着艳丽的健美服。 当然，更为艳丽的是健美服没能遮住的那些部份。 她们排成了一个方阵，然后双腿叉开，展开双臂，仰头望着天空，等待音乐开始。 那个幸福的教练员并不急于打开她的脚边的录音机，而是走到那个令人目眩的方阵中去，绕来绕去的，纠正着其中几位的造型。 被反复纠正的那位不是别人，正是刚才走在我们前面的扎辫子的姑娘。 我觉得她的造型是最出色的，但是她的教练却认为，她动作的幅度大了一点，展开得过于充份了一点，音乐还不开始，这短暂的宁静简直要让人窒息过去。 求求你啦，快扛开录音机吧。 音乐终于开始了，是合成器演奏的四二拍快节奏的乐曲。 整个方阵运动起来，说实话，她们跳得糟透了，她们至少要再上两星期课，才能跳得稍微好那么一些。 这种舞蹈只产生热量，不产生美感。 但是我们并不需要所谓的美感，是吗？我回头看看父亲，我们还能说什么呢？看看，我们谁也没有理由沮丧，谁也不应该颓废，拿出勇气来，生活从来都不像我们以为的那么糟。 我很想走到那个方阵的正中间去，对着天空展开我的双臂，为可爱的姑娘们降一场激情的大雪，从没见过的大雪啊，雪片都是一百面额的美元，纷纷扬扬，为她们带来真正的刻骨的青春的快乐。 父亲用脚碾碎了他的烟头，用肩头撞了我一下，走，我们到弟弟的宿舍里去看看，说不定他会在那里。 我们走出一段距离以后，不约而同地又一起回头张了一眼，眼神中那意思似乎就是，算了，今天先放你们一马。 当爬上弟弟他们那层楼时，宿舍及走廊里的灯正好亮了起来，我们听到一阵欢呼。 他们在欢呼什么，我真搞不懂，希望他们自己能清楚。 我们都有点后悔，弟弟根本不会在这里，他早搬走了，我们知道。 我们是出于当时一阵莫名的慌乱而作出这个决定的。 但是既然已经来了，那也只好过去看看。 看得出来，弟弟的人缘很不好，他的同学对我们的再次来访并不欢迎，连那种伪装的欢迎的姿态都没有。 一个个借故走了出去，最后只留下父亲和我坐在弟弟的那张空铺上。 肯定有那么几个就呆在旁边的哪个宿舍里，他们在等待我们灰溜溜地离开以后，好过来把门一举锁上。 晚饭时间好像已经过了，就是说这伙呆子已经填饱了肚子要去自修室啃他们那些没用的书本。 上学的时候，我就对上晚自修的同学没有什么好感，现在还是这样。 弟弟和我一样不上晚自修，也很少上课，所以我很欣赏他。 我认为我们做学生都做出了一点难得的风度。 但是我可以一夜之间啃完－本《理论力学》，第二天顺利通过期终考试，弟弟却做不到这点。 好在他的另一项才能总是及时地帮助他。 我的弟弟非常英俊，除了英俊他还擅于作弊，瞒天过海，技艺高超得匪夷所思。 我再没见过一个人，能像他那样把萎琐卑劣的作弊提升到阳春白雪的艺术高度。 就冲这一点，我也相信他