Chapter 30 Chapter 5: Bian Huan said: You shouldn’t have given birth to us (1)

Not long after Bian Xiaoyu left Beijing for France, his niece Bian Huan came to Beijing from Lanzhou, and Bian Yincai had relatives to accompany him in Beijing.Unlike Bian Xiaoyu, Bian Huan went to school and worked in Beijing.Bian Huan came to Beijing on purpose to make a living, so he took refuge in his fourth aunt Bian Yinkai. When Bian Huan came to Beijing, she did not have any capital or qualifications. She wanted a degree without a degree, and a professional title without a professional title.Also, to be beautiful is not to be beautiful.The only thing that is quite appropriate is that she is twenty-three years old. As the age when she came out to make a fortune, she is neither too old nor too young. She is neither in the naive stage, nor is she still in the category of starting to lay the foundation.Of course, she didn't come to Beijing because she was of the right age.Age can only be the most basic foundation, and the quality and conditions of all aspects of oneself are much more important than age.Bian Huan came to Beijing not so much to make a fortune, but to escape.It was her home and her parents that escaped.She is tired of that home in Lanzhou.Speaking of these, we have to go back and talk about it.

Bian Huan looks like his father Zhou Dayou, and his personality is more like his mother Bian Yinhua.But one era and one growth environment, Bian Huan, as the boss of the fourth generation, does not have the drive and sense of "responsibility" of his mother to be the boss.Since she was born, she has been supported by a capable mother who likes to be a "big boss", and there is only one younger brother below her, so she doesn't feel like she is in a leadership position.When she was a child, her grandpa, grandma, grandma, and grandpa were still working. She grew up in kindergarten, so she was not given the opportunity to discipline her younger brothers or even her cousins.She wanted to be the boss, but no one came to help her.When she was growing up, in an ordinary family, there were at most two children in the family. The parents worked hard to take care of the children and the family. The children were really brought up, so Bian Huan’s generation of children generally did not do any housework for the family when they were young. labor.

Since Bian Huan went to school, his academic performance has been average. On the one hand, his brain is not smart enough, on the other hand, he is not willing to study hard.The year Bian Yinhua started running the grocery store, Bian Huan graduated from junior high school.But she didn't get into high school.Like her mother, Bian Yinhua, she is eager to win and not to be outdone, but that kind of strength is only for face, and she doesn't care about it.When she failed to pass the high school, she complained to her mother, saying that after her mother was expelled from the work unit, she was seriously affected psychologically, thinking wildly all day long, and unable to concentrate on studying; Taking her and her younger brother Bian Hu back to live with her grandma and grandpa, such a tossing seemed to add frost to her original poor state of study.Speaking of which, Bian Huan has a set of reasons and theories.

My mother still felt a little guilty, but she didn't admit that it was all her own fault, so she said: Isn't your previous studies so-so.Bian Huan raised his voice and said, "No matter how mediocre I am, I won't be able to pass the high school entrance exam."Moreover, when it comes to the senior high school entrance examination, everyone will study harder than usual, and the other students will have higher grades than before, and I just happened to be lower than before!This is not what is affected!The mother waved her hand angrily and said, "Okay, okay, it's my fault!"I will do what you want after I die, right?When Bian Huan heard what his mother said, he felt that his mother was even more unreasonable, and he became even more bored. He murmured "I love you forever", then turned and left.

For children like Bian Huan who were born in the mid-to-late 1970s and grew up in the mid-to-late 1980s, if their parents are not used to putting on a strict face in front of them, or have a set of practical education methods, during the growth period, those children will It will develop arbitrarily along with its own temper.Because it was a period of development towards the era of individuality, and children's foresight, perception, and ideas were at the forefront.Although Bian Yinhua came along the way as a "leader" of those under her since she was a child, she rarely had a stern face, because the strength of her leadership was to give her ability and ability to others. On the contrary, my habit is more about caring and taking care of people.This is actually a kind of accommodating and habituating to other people's changing directions.For others, she only has the habit of caring and commanding, and has no disposition to reprimand; as for practical education methods, she is not highly educated, and she doesn't like reading books and newspapers, and she has nowhere to accumulate them.She couldn't, and her somewhat dull husband couldn't expect to make a difference.Therefore, Bian Huan didn't have any respect for her parents since she was a child. If she wanted to be strong, she would be strong; contradicting her parents, she developed a habit.

Bian Huan's previous confrontation was like a child playing tricks, but Bian Yinhua basically didn't take it seriously.But Bian Huan's words of "love to death" this time stung Bian Yinhua, and her sadness surged up. She thought how much her daughter didn't care about her, how heartless she was, she was supporting her for nothing to grow up!She raised a white-eyed wolf!Instead of giving up, she put down what she was doing and chased her daughter into the house.When she got to her daughter, she was full of anger.She put one hand on her waist, pointed at Bian Huan with the other, and asked loudly: Do you wish your mother died!When Bian Huan saw that his mother had taken her casual catchphrase seriously, he felt a little guilty, and without looking at his mother, he said to himself: You are the one who shouted to death, blame me?The mother shouted: You blamed me for the crime, didn't you just want to piss me off!Bian Huan rolled his eyes and said: I didn't!Mother said with a tiger face: You have!Bian Huan was very annoyed by his mother and children being serious with her, and said: Is there anything wrong?This sentence was so great that my mother stepped forward, pointed at the tip of Bian Huan's nose, and said through gritted teeth: I gave birth to you and raised you for nothing!If I had known this earlier, I might as well strangle you to death!Bian Huan stretched his neck to demonstrate to his mother, saying: Choke, strangle me to death!The mother was forced into an awkward position, stared for a long time, and had no choice but to explain away the ridicule by herself, said angrily, "What are you doing?", turned around and left.Bian Huan sneered, followed by a sentence: You shouldn't have given birth to me!The voice was not loud, and the words were not too aggressive. The mother didn't get serious with her any more. A quarrel was over.This quarrel was the most "official" quarrel between Bian Huan and his mother. They said the most hurtful words, which were also subconscious.This has never been done before.On the surface, this quarrel seems to be over, but in fact, the deepest crack has been buried in their hearts, and if there is an opportunity, the crack will widen at any time.

Before the high school entrance examination, Bian Huan did not make any mental preparations to go to a vocational high school.She didn't prepare for failing the exam, but since she failed the exam, she wanted to repeat the exam for another year and take the exam again.She still wants to go to high school.She knows that even if she goes to high school and continues to develop with her strength, her prospects for going to college in the future are slim, but she wants to work hard, or has a little fantasy that she may become smarter and work harder when she goes to high school. Miracles happen.It is the psychology of wanting to "get" luck.It was completely helpless for her to care so much about going to high school and going to college, and she had to do it for her own future.Studying is actually a painful thing for her, but she still has the strength to be ambitious and not to be outdone.

In the one-year repeat study, Bian Huan studied hard, but he didn't make any progress, and his grades were not much worse than before.This is a problem with the brain, and no matter how they can develop more intelligence.She waited for the coming of the senior high school entrance examination, completely holding the mentality of trying her luck.She knew it well and had to make preparations to go to vocational high school.After the high school entrance examination, she really didn't pass the high school entrance examination.Regarding Bian Huan's failure in the second high school entrance examination, mother Bian Yinhua did not feel sorry for her daughter at all. She knew how much her daughter had and was prepared for it.Besides, she was a little proud, because she wanted to see what reason Bian Huan would find to complain.She was deeply concerned about her daughter's complaint from a year ago. She had to be strong, and she didn't want to lose on such an issue.When she heard the news, my mother couldn't help but say: No one will affect you in this exam.Bian Huan immediately recognized what his mother said.The failure of the exam made her feel uncomfortable. Not only did her mother not comfort her, but also embarrassed her like this, she became angry and said: After all, you are the influence!The mother was angry and said: Why is it me again?What happened inside and out that affected your studies?Bian Huan was speechless for a moment.Just when the mother was proud of asking her, Bian Huan sneered and said: Huh, I am stupid, and you were born too!The mother said with a sullen face: I didn't give birth to you, can you live in this world!Bian Huan was speechless again, and it took him a long time to think of the answer, and said in a low voice angrily: It is better not to live in this world than to live.The mother sneered and said sarcastically: It's so easy to want to die, no one is stopping you!This sentence blocked Bian Huan's mouth, she was convinced of that, she couldn't deal with it, but she liked to live.Seeing that her daughter was silent, the mother proudly got up and left.Bian Huan looked at his mother's back, very annoyed, wondering who has such a 250-year-old mother!In her eyes, her mother has become less and less convincing.She is mediocre, without insight and knowledge.

Bian Huan had no choice but to go to a vocational high school after failing to pass the high school entrance exam. She chose a three-year accounting major.This year, Bian Huan's younger brother, Bian Hu, graduated from elementary school, but Bian Hu did not go well, and did not enter junior high school. Bian Hu was a playful and active child since he was a child, and he didn't look stupid or dull at all.But in terms of study, she is worse than her sister Bian Huan and doesn't like to learn.Since the first grade of elementary school, no matter how big or small the test is, every time his scores in all subjects are the lowest in the class, and they are extremely low.When he was in the first and second grades, he could barely pass the Chinese and mathematics exams; after the third grade, his grades gradually deteriorated, and occasionally he could pass the Chinese exam, but he failed the math exam every time. Relying on the final make-up exam to barely enter school.The make-up exam is almost an open-book exam, and it is a symbolic exam. If you can pass it no matter what, Bian Hu will be able to pass it every year.But when it came to the entrance examination for elementary school graduation, Bian Hu couldn't get past it. He scored less than 60 points in both Chinese and mathematics, so he could only stay in the sixth grade.After staying one level, Bian Hu's studies did not improve at all, and when it came to the entrance examination, he failed two subjects again, and his scores were at the bottom of the whole grade.There are very few students who have not been able to enter junior high school for two consecutive years. Finally, the teacher persuaded the parents to ask Bian Hu to drop out of school.No need for the teacher to say much, Bian Hu himself said that he couldn't learn it.Mother Bian Yinhua, who was in charge, remembered that she didn't like studying back then, and it was useless to force her to do so, so she dropped Bian Hu from school.

At this time, Bian Hu was only fourteen years old, unable to go to work, and was not qualified to go to some technical schools, so he had to stay at home first.My mother was busy in the grocery store from dawn to dusk, and didn't care about him. She was not at home in broad daylight, my father had to go to work, and my sister, Bian Huan, was studying in a vocational high school. Except for Sundays, Bian Huan was the only one at home during the day.Bian Hu, who stayed at home alone, was free as hell. He either watched TV endlessly changing channels, or played video games; He often left the fruit peels on the ground without cleaning them.When he was sleepy, he either fell on the sofa, or climbed into the bed, and fell asleep soundly without taking off his shoes.He was at home, and the room was always messed up by him.Unable to stay in the house, he ran downstairs to watch the elderly men in the courtyard play chess.Or like a street kid with nowhere to go, looking around in the four corners of the yard, looking east and west, always looking for fun.Sometimes, he joins the children who are not in school and participates in their games. After playing a few times, he gets bored.After staying at home for a while, Bian Hu felt bored, and then often went to his mother's grocery store to pass the time there.Occasionally, unconsciously, I helped my mother sell things a few times.Mother had an idea and thought that Bian Hu could help her.Since then, Bian Hu has been working in the grocery store, which means he has something to do.This is not a long-term plan for her son, Bian Yinhua thought, there is still some time before she turns eighteen, and it will not be too late to think of a way out for Bian Hu.In their family, there are many people who are able to help.

Among the people in the family, there are indeed people who are capable of doing things. Bian Huan graduated from Vocational High School in 1995, and Bian Lang, who worked as the deputy director of the credit department of the branch, easily contacted Bian Huan with a good unit. She went to a company under the Provincial Materials Management Bureau and worked as a cashier in the finance department.Most of the people in the company are people with "background", that is, the family members are supervisors or hold an official position in the higher-level unit.The employees in the company are all vain. When a newcomer comes in, they will inevitably guess behind him, and they will inevitably ask in disguise in person.Bian Huan's background is actually very talkative and vast.She has the fourth aunt Bian Yinxi who is a famous actor, her uncle Bian Lang who is the deputy director of the credit department of the bank, the uncles Bian Jinrong and Bian Jinli who run the Hezhong Restaurant and the construction company, her cousin Bian Yin’s father-in-law is an official in the city government, and Bian Jinguo, the great-grandfather of intellectuals (even though Bian Jinguo's family had little contact with the family, Bian Huan couldn't help but think that Bian Jinguo was said by his relatives).After a colleague looked at Bian Huan's dazzling "background" for a while, he suddenly realized a key point. Why didn't Bian Huan say what her parents did?In their eyes, no matter how good the direct relatives are, they are not worth the importance of the status of the biological parents.Only the position of biological parents is the most important identity.Bian Huan trembled when she replied to them. She said that her parents were in business.After the colleague understood it, he thought that Bian Huan's family must be rich. But looking at Bian Huan's food and clothing, it doesn't look like his family is rich.Bian Huan often brings meals with him, and wears low-end clothes that look like cheap ones bought from clothing stalls.At first, Bian Huan was unaware of her colleagues' orientation and suspicion towards her, and after chatting too much, she was told to understand.After understanding it, she tried her best to change it quietly, first she stopped taking lunch with her, and went out to eat with her colleagues.Then he reached out to his mother to ask for a few hundred dollars, and insisted on going to the mall to buy a good suit of clothes.At first Bian Yinhua disagreed, saying that those who have clothes to wear but not worn out are so vain!But Bian Huan cried out about the snobbishness of the company people, and Bian Yinhua's aggressive temperament came up, so he gave Bian Huan 300 yuan, and Bian Huan bought a suit of a regular brand as he wished.Only good clothes can’t be worn all the time, so Bian Huan wanted to save some money from his own teeth to buy clothes and clothes. Bian Huan earns around 400 yuan a month, and Bian Huan keeps 100 yuan a month for living expenses, and the rest, including bonuses, is handed over to his mother.This was discussed before work.At that time, it was my mother who made the request. The reason was that young people like them were immoderate and didn't know how to save money. If Bian Huan gave all the money, she might be exhausted every month.Saving for her as a mother is a measure to forcibly restrict her from spending money indiscriminately, and it is also saving for her dowry in the future.Bian Huan felt that her mother's words were nice, but in fact she was collecting "maintenance" from her in disguise; although she was reluctant, she couldn't say that she would not pay. It was only natural to pay money to her parents.In this way, her monthly pocket money is 100 yuan.In fact, this amount is only enough to maintain Bian Huan's basic expenses: lunch and pocket money.It looked like colleagues went to eat lunch together in a mighty way, and they usually paid their own bills when they came to the front.Unless someone has something good to do, please treat everyone generously.Sometimes everyone would joke to Bian Huan, saying that her family is rich, so let her treat her.At that time, Bian Huan neither agreed nor refused, his expression was embarrassing and his face was hot.Lunch seems to be simple, either a bowl of ramen, or a cold noodle or fried noodles, sometimes with a few strings of mutton skewers.It doesn't look like much money, but I can't bear to spend it every day. If I spend three yuan for lunch, for twenty-five days, I will spend seventy-five yuan.The remaining twenty-five yuan, a little bit of snacks and other necessities, will be spent in a blink of an eye, so how can I save money.In this way, Bian Huan applied to his mother to leave more living expenses for her every month.My mother disagreed at first, telling her to bring food with her.Bian Huan said that she was "all kinds" like that, and no one would talk to her in the future.After weighing it up, my mother agreed to give her an extra fifty yuan a month. With an extra fifty yuan, Bian Huan can save thirty or forty yuan a month.Save it, she felt that it was a long process, and it took ten months to buy a good outfit, which was a bit too inefficient.She always thinks about how to save as much as possible.After thinking about it for a while, she came up with a brilliant idea. Every day at noon, she could lie about going to the fourth master Bian Jin's country for lunch, so that she could not buy lunch in private.Bian Jinguo's home is in the family area of ​​the Automation Research Institute, which is very close to her company, a 15-minute walk away. Most of the company's colleagues know this location, and she is very credible in saying so.But in fact, Bian Jinguo seldom interacted with his family members, and Bian Huan was even more alienated from them. Naturally, it was impossible to go to Uncle Bian Jinguo's house.She made an excuse to do so, but in fact she went to a nearby mall to pass the time.In this way, she will go out for a stroll at noon every day.It is unbearable not to eat lunch. She had already made preparations. When she came from home in the morning, she quietly packed her own steamed buns or baked scones in her backpack.I ate it while walking.In this way, Bian Huan saved a lot of money. In two months, he used the saved more than 200 yuan to buy another set of clothes for himself.The harvest was solid, and "walking" persisted.Gradually "walking" has become a habit, and if you don't do it, you will lose something.Two months later, Bian Huan bought himself another pair of leather shoes.She figured it out, after this, she could afford to buy more clothes for herself.With good clothes to wear, Bian Huan psychologically followed the feelings of his colleagues in front of his colleagues. He regarded his family conditions as good, and he was a little complacent. Everything is afraid of a long time. After "walking" for nearly a year, Bian Huan got bored.She felt pitiful and pitiful, and she wondered whose girl was like her, and she had to squeeze through her teeth to buy clothes.Thinking about her situation, she blamed her mother for all her resentment.Complaining that the mother found a father with no IQ, and gave birth to two children with low IQ, she and Bian Hu; the parents were incompetent and uneducated, and did not provide them with a good material foundation and educational environment for their children. After graduating from university, you can go to a better unit, and the salary starting point is much higher than now, and it will not be as shabby as it is now.She is also tired of her mother's stinginess, and she still has the sense of a small citizen who wants her children to repay her. When Bian Huan felt more and more dissatisfied, her mother also became more and more dissatisfied with her.When she first found out that Bian Huan had bought clothes for herself, she asked Bian Huan where did she get the money?Bian Huan said he saved it himself.Naturally, Bian Yinhua couldn't believe it completely, and suspected that Bian Huan had concealed the bonus.Of course Bian Huan said absolutely not, and neither did she herself.Since her cousin Bian Lang knew people in her company, she couldn't hide it even if she wanted to.Bian Yinhua didn't believe it, she didn't say anything, but there was obvious dissatisfaction on her face.Bian Huan was even more dissatisfied.Later, when she found the newly purchased clothes, her mother was even more convinced that Bian Huan had concealed it. Of course, Bian Huan quit and had to defend himself.Bian Yinhua had no "evidence" and did not continue to argue with Bian Huan, but said that since Bian Huan's living expenses were more than enough, she would continue to keep Bian Huan only 100 yuan per month as before.Of course Bian Huan didn't do it, saying that she was working, why should she wear some nice clothes?My mother said she was a luxury, and being particular about it depends on the actual situation.The money borrowed from her grandparents' and her grandparents' homes when the family opened a grocery store is still owed, and their houses have to be bought with money. She doesn't share the family's worries, she only cares about herself, she is too ignorant!Bian Huan said disapprovingly that saving her little money would do much good.She couldn't just dress poorly and lose her self-esteem because of this; she also said that it was not Bian Yinhua's fault, otherwise there would be no such thing as borrowing money to open a grocery store, and how much money it would save.Bian Yinhua scolded Bian Huan for being cold-hearted and hard-hearted, and her conscience was eaten by a dog!Bian Huan retorted that his mother was incompetent, and only those incompetent would find fault with others!This sentence stimulated Bian Yinhua, she said that she was a capable person since she was a child, everyone said she was capable, what is skill!Bian Huan said that being able to do some work is not a skill. Those who are really capable are those who have power, money and knowledge. The more capable they are, the more proof that she is incapable.Bian Yinhua said angrily: "Your mother has no ability to give birth to you!"Bian Huan even found the topic and said: You shouldn't have given birth to us!Bian Hu and I were born by a half-fool, making us worthless and living without dignity!This sentence really angered Bian Yinhua, she pointed at Bian Huan and shouted: Get out!roll!Die without dignity, the Yellow River is not covered!This is in a grocery store with customers present.Bian Huan couldn't stand his pride, stood up and shouted angrily: "What's the big deal about death!"As he spoke, he walked out quickly.After all, Bian Yinhua was afraid of accidents, so she turned around and chased after her.After catching up with Bian Huan, he grabbed her arm and cursed: You want to piss your mother off!Regardless of his image, Bian Huan burst into tears and yelled at Bian Yinhua: You know how to get it from your own children, do you deserve to be a mother!Do you deserve to be a mother!Sad, angry and wronged, Bian Yinhua swarmed up, tears rolled out, pointed at Bian Huan with her hips on her hips and asked: I raised you with shit and piss, and you should do something for your parents and the family!If you think your mother is bad, go find a good one!Bian Huan stared at his mother with tears on his face, but couldn't speak in anger.Surrounded by a circle of people. After the matter subsided, Bian Yinhua held back her ambition and said that she would no longer want a penny from Bian Huan, and she could spend it as she liked, and the family could still live without her money.Bian Huan felt complacent and felt no guilt.From the bottom of her heart, she disliked her mother Bian Yinhua for being ignorant, poor, superficial, and vulgar. As soon as this thought came up, she couldn't help but compare herself with those around her with good family environment. lowest.Resentment piled up.So she didn't pay the mother, she felt that the mother should compensate the child for granted. Bian Huan has money in his hands and has learned to save some every month.Money is a strange thing. As long as I control it, I will instinctively have the desire to save it. It seems that saving is more affordable than using it.Apart from savings, Bian Huan spends all his money for himself, never for his family, let alone his parents and younger brother.Her situation is still like when she had no money when she was a student.On the mother's side, she didn't care about Bian Huan's clothes at all, she just ate the food at home.It seems that he has given up on Bian Huan, but he still sighs in his heart from time to time.When I think about it, I feel sad.Bian Huan is a "white-eyed wolf", already rooted and positioned, and he regrets giving birth to her from the bottom of his heart.Their mother and daughter hate each other, and as time goes by, it has penetrated from the surface to the bone. Even if they don't quarrel, they will involuntarily face each other in what they say and do together, resulting in huge conflicts. This situation is cruel and depressing, stereotyped, and cannot be alleviated.Bian Huan felt that staying in such a home was the same as not staying, and it would be better not to stay.She just wanted to leave home and live in a different environment.Anyway, she has no partner, she is free, and she still has some savings in her hand, so she has "conditions" to go out.She thought of going to Beijing because there was a fourth aunt Bian Yinxie in Beijing.She didn't want to rely on the fourth aunt, but hoped that she would have someone to take care of in Beijing. After all, it was the first time for her to leave Lanzhou and go out to other places.