Chapter 20 end

Swallows flew away, cicadas sounded, and the weather was hot again——Zhenguan is Sanshang Biyun Temple; the previous two times I had company, and I walked on the Qianshan Road, and now I am walking alone, happy to be on Sancha Road At that time, it was a special taste to find a small road. Her eldest sister has been here for more than a year, and she only went back once, when her grandfather was seriously ill, and she never went down the mountain again.Even when Yin'an and Yin'an got married, she never returned home. This time Zhenguan was entrusted by Yinshan's sister-in-law to send her a few summer clothes. Originally, Yinshan's wife sent them with her mother-in-law after preparing the preparations. You can get it when you go out.

Yinchan had also promised her to come, but two days ago she fell in the bathroom, and now she is still stretched, making it difficult to walk; Zhenguan thought: Anyway, I will go back, and at most I can spend one night at most. Just come by yourself. On the road, there were boys catching cicadas, some climbing up trees, and some holding small nets underneath; curious, she came up to stand and watch. The two in front of me, one big and one small, look like brothers; the older brother is catching one, putting it in a plastic bag for storage, and the younger brother is holding it in his hand.The little brother was probably afraid that the cicadas would fly away, so he just squeezed the bag tightly; Zhen Guan then said to him: "Little brother, you can't squeeze the bag too tightly, otherwise there will be no air, and the cicadas will just suffocate to death!"

The younger brother is only about six years old, and he doesn't know people very well. He looked at Zhenguan and his elder brother, but he had no idea. "That's right, why do you take it like this! Then it won't live, aren't we catching it for nothing?" The elder brother, about eleven or twelve years old, wears an elementary school sweatshirt.As he said that, he took the plastic bag, demonstrated the movement, and then taught his younger brother to hold it in the same way; Zhen watched him with a rosy face, and asked him, "What do you want to do if you catch this?"

The child waved his arms, wiped his sweat, and said, "Let's listen to it at home, the cicada's sound is very nice--and, he's clamoring for me to catch it!" He just finished speaking, and ran two steps forward, holding a long bamboo pole in his hand, with a thin net tied at the end of the bamboo pole: "Wow, there's another one! Hehe——" "Brother, is it male? Or female!" "Public! Public!" "The one in the bag has companions, brother, will they give birth to small cicadas?" "I—I don't know either!" Zhenguan came up to see the newly caught cicada, and asked the big one, "How do you know it's a male?"

The child laughed, but replied very seriously: "It can chirp, the male can do it, but the female can't!" Just finished speaking, because he found the target again, the elder brother grabbed the younger brother and ran forward—Zhen Guan had to continue walking, and came to a house where he saw a sixty-year-old woman harvesting vegetable leaves in the sun. Beside Yi is a ten-year-old boy, standing holding a bamboo basket. The child's eyes saw her first; then he told the old woman that he knew about it; the old woman stopped working and greeted her: "Girl officer, it's so hot outside; come in and have a rest first, drink a cup of tea, and then go fast!"

"Thank you grandma, I'm rushing to the temple—" "That's good, go to worship the Buddha and Bodhisattva, and protect you from marrying a good man-do you know the road? Do you want my grandson to take you for a ride?" "I know the way, thank you for your kindness—" The old woman didn't know what she said to the boy. The boy threw away the bamboo basket, ran into the house, and brought out another glass of white cold water. "You'd better drink a glass of water; in this weather, you'll get Sha even at home! Then you don't need to talk about it outside—"

The child held the tea in front of her, and his eyes and footsteps touched Zhenguan's heart; she had never drank tea that moved her so much since she grew up; not only the old woman's kindness, but also the child The solemnity and seriousness when doing this - she drank the last drop of water and handed back the teacup, and the child ran away in a hurry; his back was very similar to Jubilee. "Grandma, I'm going up the mountain—" "Let's go, come down the mountain and sit down again!" Arriving at the gate of the mountain, I saw the sun was setting towards the west; Zhenguan stepped into the temple and walked straight to the concubine's room; she stepped on the platform, and only then did she think that before she came, there was no letter or letter to inform her, the concubine probably wouldn't Not here!

In fact, she is worrying too much!Dajin is a quiet person, and it is difficult to go out at home, let alone a clean place! It's really not in the room, but it's also in this mountain anyway, when she and Yinchan come here, they often hear the loudspeaker beeping, and the nuns working in the back mountain will rush down when they hear their name and dharma name. ... If Da Jin was also in the back mountain, Zhen Guan would not have called the radio; as long as she asked clearly, she would go to the back mountain to look for Yi——but the door was locked again; She stood for a while, and when she saw a nun passing by, she immediately stepped forward and asked, "Master, this—"

The nun recognized her somewhat, and said: "I want to find Aunt Suyun, Yi is in the clean room for the past two days, and she won't leave the customs!" "Then, how long do we have to wait—" "Seven days!" Zhenguan shut her mouth for a moment, not knowing what to say; the nun said: "It's rare to come here, the benefactor will stay in the mountains for a few days before leaving, I will take the benefactor to find a Zen room to live in before we talk—" Zhenguan had no choice but to go with her, and because she recognized the room she lived in, she told the nun; the two came to the room, opened the door and entered, the nun went to find some mosquito coils, and then left: "What's the matter?" , and say it anytime!"

Zhen Guan thanked the nun, then picked out a change of clothes, went to the small stone room to wash her body, then washed her clothes, had a fast, and was free, it was already seven o'clock! In such a pure place, what she is afraid of is the moment when she faces herself. Daxin has been gone for two years; during these two years, Zhenguan once imagined that he would contact her.Winter turns to summer, autumn turns to spring, and Zhenguan waits day after day, but after all, she never receives a word or a piece of paper from Daxin—— If she had read such a sentence in the past, Zhenguan would really only shed tears; however, all the twists and turns and grievances she may have in this life have already been exhausted in this love disaster; she knows that Daxin is clarifying himself, not only It's him, they all stop taking a step when their hearts are clouded. However, how long will the process be?

Zhenguan finally closed the door and came out, she was going to the teaching place to listen to scriptures, she really had to get better! The location of the class is now changed to the West Wall compound; there are probably more people going there, and the old seats are not enough!Zhenguan searched for the lights and found it; in the mountains at night, there was an indescribable silence, which made the temple even more gloomy. When she arrived, she realized that the class had already started, and it turned out that even the time had changed; Zhenguan stepped in and waited for her to calm down; the first sentence she heard was: "Greed is suffering, hatred is suffering, and ignorance is even more suffering!" Like catching fish in a net, Zhenguan's heart suddenly became real: "There is no grievance in the world, even if people don't know the sky, they know it." "A grievance is full of worms, and a person should not be aggrieved." "Sex is fate, bad fate is bad sex." "The heart is the field of children and grandchildren. If the children and grandchildren are not good, the heart is not good." "Only knowing that there is this life, but not knowing that there is an afterlife, is called a broken view." "To hear the Tao but not realize it is to be ignorant and foolish." ... For two consecutive days and nights, Zhenguan thought about what she read one by one, but her heart was still floating! On the evening of the third day, she sat on the stone with Yinchan and watched the verses in the palace, and her heart became even more narrow. How could this be? !She just wanted to leave here; Zhenguan walked back to the meditation room, immediately collected the clothes, and sent the package entrusted by her cousin to the nun; the nun asked: "Why are you leaving?" "Before I came, I didn't say I wanted to stay longer, so my family will miss me!" "If this is the case, the poor nun will not keep the benefactor; the clothes will be handed over to Gu Suyun, and the benefactor will be relieved." Zhenguan thanked her again and again, taking advantage of the cool sunset, she walked out of the temple alone; it was still 40 to 50 minutes' walk to the bottom of the mountain, she thought: let's go on like this, anyway, the mountain wind is very cool!She can take the 6:30 passenger car. Walking, walking, she suddenly understood why her heart was restless just now. It turns out that today is the day when Cousin Yindan wants to go back to her hometown; Yi just flew Japan to Taipei ten days ago, and today she will go back to her hometown with her uncle and his wife; My aunt will also leave for the United States tomorrow. Her cousin Huian has married a wife and had a son. He fulfilled his preface and took over his widowed mother to live with him—everyone has a place to live, except Daxin...why does she still miss him? Woolen cloth? It was gradually getting dark; Zhenguan was walking through the mountain road, looking at the candles here and there, and suddenly a song was entangled in his ears: Zhen Guan felt that her whole body was trembling, she trotted, almost chasing after the voice: She finally ran to a farmhouse before stopping; the song started from there, and there was an old woman sitting in front of the court to enjoy the shade: "Grandma—" It was only when Zhen Guan got closer that she saw Yi's face clearly: it was the old woman who shared her tea three days ago: "Grandma...was it you who sang that song just now?" "This--" That shame was as shy as Ruoyi's first bride... "Girl officer, you are—" "Grandma, three days ago I went up the mountain to go to the temple, grandma, give me a cup of tea—" "So you are, have you worshiped the Buddha?" "Grandma, I am——; the song just now was sung by you?" "Yes—ah, don't laugh!" "No, grandma, this song is very good—" "I don't know how many years it has been; when I was the youngest daughter, I heard people humming... Don't laugh - sit down, sit down!" Zhen Guan sat down, her heart still agitated. "Grandma, you can sing it again, okay?" "No, no, someone I can't sing—" At the end of her speech, Kui Fan covered her mouth and laughed: Zhen Guan thought about it and asked again: "Grandma, where is that little boy? It's your grandson—" "He! He is in the house; he used my sewing box to make a box, and raised a lot of silkworms! A while ago, I went to pick mulberry leaves to feed them every day, and I didn't read much, alas! This boy! " "Grandma, you only have two grandparents?" "Not only that, his parents are going to his grandfather's house; they will be back tomorrow; A-Tong also has a younger sister—" "Grandma, you have a great voice, sing that song again—" "The throat is okay, but the eyesight is bad. Yesterday, when I cleaned the room, I almost threw away Atong's silkworm box. He was crying." "Crying like this?" "The silkworms are all cocooned now; he raised them from the time they were small silkworms, watched them shed their skins, watched them spin silk... Alas, my eyesight is not good, and I cried too much for my grandpa when I was young—— " "The result? Did you pick it up!" "Yes, there is no shortage, and there is not much, but it is covered in cocoons, and I don't know if he fell to death; he didn't eat last night! My heart is also distressed!" "..." "I coaxed him all morning today, thinking he's a kid, he'll be fine after a while, but now he's hiding in the room again, I'll go check it out!" As the old woman said, she stood up, and Zhen Guan also stood up; at this moment, she suddenly heard the child in the room shout: "Grandma, hurry up, come and see!" "What's the matter!" The old woman had only taken two steps, and the child had already rushed out of the house; he held the box tightly in his hand, and his eyes were bright. "Grandma, they're not dead, they're still alive!" "How do you know—" The old woman looked at it and said, "It's really moving, um, why is it different? They—" The child happily continued: "They have turned into silk moths, they bite through the cocoons and fly out!" It is impossible to describe Zhen Guan's feeling at this time, because the scab in her heart fell off at this time - the child was standing in the bright place, but now she saw her, and suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. "Do you still recognize me?" "I know—you are the aunt three days ago...do you want to see my moth?" "Yes, yes!" Zhen Guan approached him, and saw moths flapping soft wings inside the box... She felt her eye sockets gradually getting wet; the moths were her!She used to be a chrysalis bound by herself, and it was the words of the ten-year-old boy in front of her and the silkworms he fed that taught her to fully understand—the old woman was thinking about something, and deliberately quizzed her grandson: "A Tong, you read four You are in grade, do you know why silkworms spin silk and make cocoons?" The child smiled and said: "I know - the silkworm does not want to live in the cocoon forever; it has to be wrapped in the cocoon first, and then it is a moth. It is to become a moth and fly out - —” Daxin once told her that a person before the age of ten is a real person—her body and mind, which has been around for a long time, are at peace in the two words of this child; what kind of pain, what kind of spinning, what kind of Self-restraint, but in the end it is only the process of life transformation, it is through this, it turns into a moth, and then continues to pass on life-Zhen Guan here, respecting the head and saying goodbye: "Grandma, I have to go, I have to go to the car! " "It's almost eight o'clock, and the mountain road is not easy to walk; you don't mind, just stay here for one night and leave tomorrow morning—" "It's okay, I'll catch up, I can take the last bus at 8:30, and I won't worry about returning home late!" "You're right; let A-Tong take you down the mountain!" "Not good, he's still young—" "You don't know, he runs this mountain road more than a dozen times a day, and he takes you to take a shortcut to Xiancaopu to wait for the bus, and it only takes ten minutes—" The child followed her out quietly, all the way down the mountain, he hugged her That box; Zhen Guan looked at him and thought of himself—greedy and ignorant, love and hatred are too much, so that he suffers from this upside down today; if it wasn't for this ten-year-old boy and his silkworm... "A Tong, I... really appreciate you—" "No! Will you come to the mountains to play in the future?" "I will come!" The lights at the waiting area were dim, and Zhen Guan was about to return to the human world. She stopped a hundred meters away from the foot of the mountain and said, "A Tong, the station is here. I'll go down by myself, and you should go home soon!" "But, Grandma told me to take you to the car!" "There is still 20 minutes for the car to arrive, so it's just right for me to go down slowly; you can get home earlier, so Grandma won't worry—" "Okay, then I'm going back—" "You have to go; Ah Tong, thank you——" The child ran away like a rabbit, and disappeared in an instant; Zhen Guan looked up and saw the moon again: She wants to go back soon, the sea water of her hometown, the night of her hometown; she is still the A Zhenguan in that big family, who is loved by everyone-everything the big letter has given her, Zhenguan is on this moonlit road down the mountain from the temple, Return it to the sky, the earth, and the gods and Buddhas.