Chapter 17 Chapter Seventeen

At the end of June, Zhenguan learned from Daxin's mother that he was going back to Taipei; however, the calendar tore through July, from the 1st, 2nd to the 8th, the 10th... and the 15th - Zhenguan couldn't confirm it : Do I stay in the world, otherwise, the two are in Taipei, but he is so far away from her; like several mountains that have been reset in between. These days, she couldn't even eat three meals properly, let alone sleep—maybe it's her fault for what happened today, and she doesn't blame him; but on the 19th, after four days and three nights, He has to leave, does he really want to leave like this, and never see her again?

As soon as he left, he left her in such a huge and empty Taipei City; ——Red men and dolls, until now, weeds and fields—— Did he think about how she would live in the future? It's two o'clock in the middle of the night, and Zhen Guan is still tossing and turning on the side of the bed; he can hear a song on the radio: Zhenguan's tears flowed from the corners of her eyes to her nose, then flowed to her cheeks, and seeped behind her ears.The back of her neck was wet a lot, and new tears flowed out again—she put on her clothes, but it didn't feel cool, so she put them down again; she opened the door quietly and came out, so as not to disturb Yinchan; The courtyard is full of brilliance, looking up: Yueniang is bright, shining and shining; the same moonlight, the same position, where Daxin was standing a year ago, when she came out of the bath, at that time—— Under the moonlight, Zhenguan stood upright and shed tears like that, the tears washed her face, and when the wind blew, she dried them one by one—"You are so sleepy, what are you doing standing here?"

I don't know what happened when Yin Chan got up; Zhen Guan just didn't look at her face, and responded casually: "It's hot inside, I'll come out to cool off." Yinchan didn't speak, and took her hand, pushed and hugged her, and pulled her into the room; once in the room, the two sat on the edge of the bed, but they just didn't speak; after a long pause, Yinchan sighed: " Turn on the fan when it’s hot, alas, why are you—” Zhen Guan leaned on her shoulder, and cried out like a spring of hot tears—the next day, Zhen Guan's eyes were swollen, he coughed and vomited, and Yin Chan blushed anxiously: "Look at you——"

"I'm fine, just lie down and lie down!" "Oh! Just lie down? Who will take care of the doctor's wife?" "I--" "It's up to you to decide this time, lie down and I'll come as soon as I go!" Yinchan changed her clothes in a hurry, and flew out of the alley to invite a doctor; soon, an old doctor came in; the doctor was listening to her chest and back, while Yinchan helped roll up her sleeves and undress her. Ever since she knew about it, Zhenguan has almost never been sick or given injections, because she was born with the physique of a seaside daughter; now that she falls down, she realizes that she is also made of ceramics and earthen jars, which are extremely fragile.

After the injection, Yin Chan went back to get the medicine; as soon as the medicine was brought, Zhen Guan immediately urged her: "I know how to take these, you go to work quickly." "What class?—" Yin Chan rolled his eyes, brought another bowl of milk, and said, "I called to ask for leave, and uncle asked me to take care of you, hee, it's business now, you give me this first, When I turn back, Liu Lizi, Ah Mu, will come." Sure enough, at ten o'clock, the Japanese girl really came, and brought Zheng Kaiyuan; the man sat in front of the bed, followed Liu Lizi's gesture, touched Zhenguan's forehead, and asked, "How do you feel?"

"fine!" He picked up the medicine bag and potion in front of the bed, looked at it carefully, and said, "This medicine is mild, is it an old doctor?" Zhen Guan nodded his head; he said some more words, Zhen Guan answered him a few words first, then closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep; who knows that he really fell asleep, when she woke up again, it was already one o'clock in the evening, and everyone had already left. After leaving, He Chan lay down at the table and took a nap, with fruits and flowers in front of him. What about Daxin? He really doesn't come to see her?Whether she lives or dies?She is so sick, does he know?

Was she so wrong?How long has he been angry with her?If he really wants to leave without saying a word, she will die of madness! The next day, when Zhenguan got up to go to work, Yinchan pushed her back to the bed and said loudly: "What do you think? You should be careful and lie down quietly!" "But--" "It's easy to say if you don't have one. Sickness is sickness. Look at your face yourself!" She said, and handed over a small round mirror; Zhen Guan hesitated, and took it; she couldn't recognize it, the girl in the mercury mirror was born in the harbor and bathed in the sea breeze. She didn't know that love was really possible Knocking down people twice; when she was young, she and Yinchan followed Grandma to watch a play in front of the temple, and Chen San and Wu Niang in the play would always think about that person, and they couldn't afford it at all—it turns out that the plot of the play was not deceiving...

"Okay, then I will rest for another day, but there are conditions!" When Yinchan heard about it, he laughed and said, "Oh, you have to pay conditions when you are sick? Alright! You said to see it!" Zhen Guannai said: "If I don't go, you must go; there is no reason for two people to ask for leave when one person is sick!" Yin Chan said: "You are so sick that your hands and feet are weak, I will keep it, and you have someone to talk to!" Zhen Guan took a towel and covered his face, deliberately said: "I'm going to be sleepy, who wants to talk to you—"

After talking for a long time, Yinchan had no choice but to change clothes and go out; Zhenguan was lying alone, thinking wildly; why didn't the phone ring?The doorbell isn't broken, is it?Otherwise, how to press the big letter? He must not be really angry with her, he must be playing with her again; she told her about him and Liao Qing'er before, didn't he write such a letter to her - I was a little angry when I received your letter, (a Dots) Why did you push me to this point? ——However, the end of the letter said——Actually, I am not angry, and I am still a little moved!I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I want to engrave a sorry stamp and cover the letter paper—the phone rang suddenly; Zhen Guan touched his heart, but fortunately, the heart was still beating, she kicked off her shoes, and came to get the microphone: "Hello——"

"Miss Zhenguan, I'm Zheng Kaiyuan—" "Oh, Doctor Zheng—" "Are you well?" "okay, thank you!" "How about I come and see you?" "Oh, what a coincidence, I've got to go to work, and I'm going out—" "Oh—then, take care of yourself!" "Thank you-" After hanging up the phone, Zhenguan suddenly remembered that he had to wash his face and change clothes; without a phone, his people would always come!She can't see Daxin in such despair, she is the resounding and radiant Ah Zhenguan—she was still putting on lipstick when the doorbell rang; everyone in the family said her mouth was pretty, and it was only because of Daxin!

Everything in the past was good, even the tears and torment; when he was angry, did he come? Zheng Kaiyuan who was standing outside the door; Zhenguan understood in an instant: people who are born dumb Mood. "I'm still worried—are you all right?" Zhen Guan swallowed his throat and said, "I'm about to go out! There is no one at home, so I won't invite Dr. Zheng to sit down!" "Then——I'll take you there; the taxis on the street are not air-conditioned, so don't heat up——" Until the company, the two of them didn't say a word; Zhenguan waited until he got out of the car, and then thanked him; as soon as he went up to the second floor, he met Yinchan at the foot of the stairs, she was holding a stack of briefcases, seeing her, The briefcase fell to the ground: "You can make me feel at ease! Will you?" Zhenguan said the matter again, Yinchan said: "Why is this person so determined?" Zhen Guannai said: "You're mistaken, he didn't mean that; he just cared, the first is Liu Lizi and Auntie, and the second is a doctor's attitude towards patients; if I were from a medical background, I would I will do the same with others!" Yinchan said: "Okay, you are right! But, what kind of doctor is this? The patient is forced out of the bed by him!" "I'm fine anyway—" "As long as you're fine—" However, before three o'clock in the afternoon, Zhenguan's face turned pale, and he slumped down on the table. The office was in chaos, some were calling taxis, some were getting medicines; at the end of the chaos, it was Yinchan who sent her back again. When Zhen Guan lay back on the bed again, she thought this way: just let it go!Just sleep until the end of the day, and the day will skip the twentieth! Daxin will not come!Let her die of this heart!Heart is dead, don't have to think about anything! Looking at Yinchan's eyes, Zhenguan could understand that Daxin really wouldn't come; Yinchan had of course called him; he knew he was sick, but he still hardened his heart.Yinchan suddenly said: "I'll call him again——" "Don't! Don't!—" Zhen Guan grabbed her hand with great effort and said, "If you fight, he won't come either!" Yin Chan burst into tears: "No matter how wrong you are, he shouldn't treat you like this—I'll ask him!" Zhen Guan said quietly: "I took all this on myself! Don't blame him—" Yin Chan bit his lip and said, "I'll call his mother—" "Yinchan, Daxin's personality, if he didn't figure it out on his own to come, even if you brought him with a knife, you would just kill me—" "But--" "He thinks he is right, you let him go; if you call his mother, Yin Chan, I will never forgive you in this life—" Speaking of the latter, both of them began to cry; the tears were like melting candle tears, scalding the pain everywhere. Zhen Guan wiped away the tears, and thought in her heart—Okay, Daxin, if you don’t come, I’m the only one who will go; life has come to this point, stubbornness and face are useless; I’m actually not aggressive, I just think : No matter how bad I am, you should always know my heart—could it be that our intimate words are all for nothing at this time; of course I am wrong, and I don’t know your painstaking efforts. Worrying and hurting, this is your filial piety, but I don't want you to be sick and suffer, and you have to bear everything alone-she can't get sick again; Daxin will leave the day after tomorrow, she has to get better quickly, and catch up tomorrow to see him. Eighteenth day. Zhenguan lay in bed all day; Liulizi stayed with her until dusk, knowing that Yinchan would be home soon, so she left with Zheng Kaiyuan in peace; If she doesn't leave, she will stop her. Zhenguan left a note, only talking about walking around the school, the campus is so big, Yinchan can't find her no matter what; when she goes out, it's only a quarter past six, and Daxin may only have dinner—she has to come to the campus Walk around; the school is on summer vacation at this time, more than half of the students are gone, Ah Zhong only came home a few days ago, and he said it was ten or so days before he came up to help the professor with work—it was half past seven when he left the gate, why should he sit? Where is the car?The taxi was too fast and arrived in just over ten minutes. It seemed that people had to show up before things were settled! Or take the bus!She needs plenty of time to calm down. Naturally, thinking about it, she stood at the ○nan sign and waited for the bus. How long ago, Daxin and her, Zeng Xiaoli, were waiting here for the bus... She suddenly had an epiphany: He really went to England, can she still live in this city?How many places in Taipei have vivid memories; she and him once reflected their figures and images together in the soft waves of Taipei's scenery-in the future, unless she closes the door and does not come out, otherwise, she will go to Everywhere will hurt her; it doesn't matter if you close the door, the chair in the room was used by Daxin, and he even put his feet on her desk... When the car arrived at Xiaonanmen, it was already 8:10. Zhenguan got off two stops earlier and was about to walk. Daxin grew up there, and she should have respect for that place! You can go there at 8:30!This time is better, not too early, not too late. ——Zhenguan turned from Zhonghua Road to Chengdu Road, and when she turned into Kunming Street again, she felt her palms sweat; she had never been to his home, and now, she will see it soon, not far away Where is she going, or not? The front room was too bright, and it was a storefront, so I walked through the back street; when she went in, people asked, what should I say? The back street happened to be the back door of his house, and there happened to be an alley extending down from the front house to meet; Zhenguan was walking in the dark alley, and suddenly remembered; when Daxin first met her, there was such a sentence in the letter: - I like to walk alone at night; Wu Yan goes up to the west building alone, the moon is like a hook, the heart is like water, and the heart is like the water of an ancient well—it turned out to be such an alley; Zhenguan stood under the eaves of someone else's house and looked up to find Daxin's room. The second floor is his parents and grandmother, the third floor is his brothers, the fourth floor is his sisters; This is it!The light is shining on the window, so the deceased will be safe? From Xu time to midnight, Zhenguan stood under the mud wall of someone's house for three hours; Daxin's lamp was still on, and on the eve of leaving home like this, he just sat in front of the lamp. It doesn't matter if you don't see it!Since you made the decision, since you are at ease, what can I say? It is already very good to be able to stand like this; I have known you in this life, and this life is already true. The rain began to fall, and when Zhenguan left, the lamp was still burning; he might not be able to sleep all night, maybe he forgot to turn off the light——she returned to the residence, the wall clock was striking once, it was one o'clock in the morning; Opening the door, when she saw Yin Chan, her heart tightened, and then her vision went dark, but she still staggered a few steps forward before falling on Yin Chan—— Zhenguan lay on the bed for half a month; Yinchan wanted to notify the family several times, but she stopped her. Daxin went to England in this way; on the day he left, Zhenguan still had a drip syringe inserted in his arm; she didn’t eat, so Zheng Kaiyuan had to give her a saline injection, and she just responded in vain to anyone who spoke to her. Although it was just one thought: how should I go with him?London is tens of thousands of miles away from Taipei; I am a weak woman, it is difficult to go out, it is not easy to get out of the country, the people are unfamiliar, there are bad people outside, and the money I have saved is probably not enough——Recorded in the novels of the Ming Dynasty——Fan Juqing and Zhang Wenbo, With the unity of intention and righteousness, the two became close friends and promised to meet each other during the Double Ninth Festival.Since the farewell, Fan has been busy with his family's business, unaware that the time has passed quickly. On the morning of the Double Ninth Festival, he saw a neighbor sending dogwood flowers, and suddenly remembered the old friend's appointment. Traveling thousands of miles... Zhang Shao is also a believer, how can he break his faith; thinking about it, he draws his sword and kills himself, a life-and-death pact with his soul——Zhenguan then aspires to die; the living cannot follow, the dead soul always You can follow it!She was going to read Daxin and ask his heart; he took her to a place where no one came, but left her like this; in the old novel, Xi Bochang said Lei Zhenzi: "Why did you abandon me halfway?" Every time Zhenguan recited this sentence, she would sob uncontrollably; for fifteen days, the thought of death lingered in her heart—later, Yinchan and Ah Zhong pulled her back; it was yesterday that she had a high fever. , the younger brother had already come up from home, seeing this scene, he stood on the side grinding ginger juice with her, while Yinchan sat half kneeling and half sitting on the edge of the bed, feeding her clear porridge with a spoon, occasionally holding a chopstick of flower melon, and putting it on the spoon Inside…… She looked at the relatives in front of her, tears pouring down into the soup bowl held by Yin Chan. "Don't be stupid, don't be stupid—" When Yinchan said this to her, her face was reflected in front of Zhenguan; she looked at the sisters with different surnames since she was young, Yi's eyebrows resembled the third concubine's, her nose and mouth resembled the third uncle's, her face frame resembled her grandfather's, no, she also resembled grandma... Ah, the relatives in the hometown, the familiar and dear faces of the parents, mother and younger brothers, are swaying in front of her eyes in turn; so many people who really love her - when she was a child, she went to the theater, and when Xiaodan appeared on stage, she always said ——Father and mother love each other, giving birth to a slave——It turns out that life is so precious, life is so dignified, how much kindness, love, and relatives, she is a big letter, and she is separated——At these times, it was Zheng Kaiyuan who came to talk to her During her consultation, Zhen Guan sometimes watched him sit quietly, and would think in her heart: No matter how Daxin treats her, in her feeling, she has already lived with him for a lifetime, a whole life; Since then, there has been no more love and affection in life; even if that person has Zhang Liang's talent and Chen Ping's appearance, he can only be a pity - she can't change her mind; when she was a child, she went to watch someone dig a well , The iron stake hits the deepest part, and the luscious water will come out. The heart is the same as the geography; there is only one pool of water in a piece of land, and there can only be one well in a heart. Some terrain is not suitable, or the person who digs the well is not psychic, and no matter how much time passes, the empty pool is just an empty pool. Daxin is her sinker, except Daxin. It has been a few days since I started working. Zhenguan goes out at 7:30 every day and returns home at 6:00. For six or seven days in a row, Yinchan can't detect any clues, and she is a little impatient. When she goes to bed this night, she sits on the bed Come and ask her, "How are you?" "What's wrong?" "Are you any better?" "It's not nice to sit in front of you!" "I mean your heart!" "—" Zhenguan didn't respond for a while; people, will your heart be okay? Today is Aunt Liulizi's birthday, and the two followed their uncle back to their home on Linyi Street for dinner; when they arrived, Aunt Liulizi was baking cakes in the kitchen, and Yi was humming a tune, "Soulbreak Fuji Ridge". Zhenguan has respected the new concubine since her uncle mentioned how the two of them met, but when she looked at Yi's person, she still had to think of the concubine in her hometown. The love of a woman in the old days was all-encompassing; if she had half of her sister-in-law's understanding of the truth, she would not have suffered today; Daxin really wronged her at first, but she shouldn't follow behind and ruin it like that He suddenly returned to those objects he gave her. She hurt herself with such anger, and a person as proud as Daxin would not allow others to hurt his heart; crumble. After this incident, Zhenguan felt that she was ten years older. However, compared with Dajin, Daxin and her were still young, and it was ridiculous to be young, and could treat the smallest things as big as the sky. Seeing her stunned, Yinchan said: "I know you are suffering, but you don't say a word, how can I guess, if you feel better, just say it, and I will be relieved!" Zhen Guan stroked her hair, and said softly: "Don't mention this again; I really want to go home, I want to go back to see my concubine, I miss my mother and grandma—Yinchan, shall we go back?" "—" Tears glistened in Yin Chan's big eyes, she held Zhen Guan's hand, but couldn't speak. The next day after get off work, the two agreed that one would go to the station to buy a ticket, and the other would come back first to pack her luggage; Zhenguan got off the bus and was still more than a hundred meters away from her residence; she pedaled along the red brick road one by one. The last glimpse of Taipei, lovely Taipei, broken Taipei; the hometown of her beloved man—suddenly, she heard a childish voice behind her, singing like this: It's a kindergarten girl who hops home with small steps.Zhenguan stopped to look at her; the small figure flashed past her eyes: Zhenguan's tears finally shed, such nursery rhymes, nursery rhymes; she also wants to fly to her mother, to her birth mother, to her hometown mother; ——In spring, her mother likes to stir-fry leeks and bean sprouts. In summer, she likes to eat bamboo shoot soup. In August and September, she will buy very old water chestnuts from those who sell water chestnuts and mix them with ribs to stew , Wait, put a handful of parsley in. She also forbade Zhenguan to wash the clothes with her younger brothers in the same basin; men are superior to women, Zhenguan only found out after reading the Book of Rites, and her mother only read Japanese books for a few years; Zhenguan is not allowed to step over with his feet, he must go around the road. —— It has been a few years since her father passed away. Except for the three sticks of incense in the morning and evening, she has kept all her father's relics, a piece of clothing and a belt, very well. There are people who respect him like him in the world—— She also teaches people to recognize their responsibilities; Zhen Guan often heard her say this sentence-a person who does not eat and is a savvy; therefore, you should take your share calmly; if you don’t take it, you still keep it for you- When Zhenguan entered the door, she had heard the phone ring three or two times. When she picked it up, it was the lady from the Telecom Bureau: "Miss Xiao?" "I'm--" "Long-distance call, please—" "Zhen Guan? Zhen Guan or Yin Chan?" "Third Uncle, I am Zhenguan—" "Uncle's line is blocked, please inform him as soon as possible, Grandma just fell down and became unconscious, you and Yinchan also come back soon—" The night express car wobbled and wobbled; she could have taken her own car, but her uncle didn't ask the driver to drive south because the road was dangerous at night—— Zhenguan and Yinchan shook hands, looking at the black sky outside the car; the uncle and Liu Lizi in the front seat were also absent-minded and gloomy. In the night sky of Yin Ye, tiny stars are twinkling, and Da Xin's eyes are really like stars, clear and pure... He wrote her a long time ago, talking about his experience of taking the night express train: ——When I can’t fall asleep, I monitor the changing of the painting night... Forget it, I can’t describe it; anyway, the sun just exposed its forehead, and the earth will play out the ever-changing colors and brilliance. The traveler is dumbfounded and can only be touched— — How is he now? Two more days on Chinese Valentine's Day; Britain has no lunar calendar records, does he know his birthday?In March last year, Zhenguan met a middle school classmate in Ximending. Yi lived in the same dormitory as Liao Qinger when she was in college. Zhenguan deliberately asked about Liao's boyfriend, and the man said, "Oh, it's the guy with horn-like hair from the chemistry department." that? When the man said this, he raised the index fingers of both hands to the sides of his foreheads and stood upright, making the appearance of ox horns; Zhenguan broke up with her immediately, and immediately went to Yanping North Road to buy a small comb with white ox horns, and mailed it to Daxin. Repeat the man's words again.A few days later, Daxin sent an urgent letter, saying: ——Is it that ugly?I received the comb, and I will comb it every day—why do I value him so much? Zhen Guan thought and thought again: it is better to say that he valued himself than he valued the letter; he is almost another self, every time she said something, what he said next was always the indifference that she warmly praised in her heart.She told him that when she was a child, she was playing in the fish pond at her great-grandmother's house, and was pushed off the shore by Yincheng and the others. When she got up, a big crab was caught in her skirt pants; before she finished speaking, Daxin immediately said:—— Haha, use yourself to fish; use yourself to fish? There was also the time when they went to the Forbidden City, the two were humming softly in the car. She sang "Reminiscence of Anping", and sang--the sea breeze mercilessly laughed at me; Xiao Ruan was stunned - if it wasn't for these things, she wouldn't have to be like this today... Passengers in the car, some snored, some couldn't sleep; a teenager in the back seat turned on the tape recorder, and the whole car complained: Zhenguan turned her head away, trying not to let the tears fall—the car arrived in Xinying, the uncle hailed a taxi, and the four of them went straight to their hometown; , Ming Zhenguan couldn't help but think of the time when the cock crowed when he was studying and preparing for exams! How wonderful, Peter, she didn't know Daxin deeply, and the pain and sweetness of life were all taught by Daxin later.Before that, the girl's heart was just the teardrops on her eyelashes, trembling slightly. In the morning light, Zhenguan finally returned to his hometown.There are people who love her in her hometown, people she loves; why do people go to wander?The wounds that may hurt people's hearts in foreign lands and other places can only be healed and healed after returning to their hometown. Those who don't have to leave their hometown for a lifetime are so blessed; they are the ones who can describe their happiness——When the car stopped, Zhen Guan looked up and suddenly stumbled out of the car. The four of them knelt down together, and then crawled to the threshold; her mother and her eldest sister-in-law, one green and one black, came forward to meet them howling; , the most unbearable and saddest thing in the world, all poured out of her throat at once.