Chapter 4 Marble (excerpt)-1

Marble (excerpt) Ma Bole was very timid before the Anti-Japanese War. His health is not very good, but there is nothing wrong with him.By appearance, he is very thin.But he doesn't take any medicine all year round, and occasionally he catches a cold, and he just smokes a few more cigarettes and he's done.Cigarettes can't heal Feng, but after thinking about it, it's the right way, taking the medicine, isn't it just for nothing?A cold can't kill a person. That's what he does when he catches a cold. If his children had a cold, or a cold, he would buy them biscuits, saying:

"Eat it, if you don't eat it for nothing, just eat it as medicine money." The child had a fever, and his hands and feet had a fever, so he took a towel soaked in cold water and kept wrapping it around the child's head.He carefully sat next to the child, and if he saw the child opened his eyes, he quickly opened the biscuit box: "Want something to eat? Dad will bring it to you." The child closed his eyes at once, and his chest was panting uncontrollably. After a while, the child opened his eyes and asked for water, and he quickly took the biscuit box over.The child gulped water and biscuits without even paying attention.

He brought a cup. "He thought for a long time before he came up with this method, soak the biscuits in his arms, and when the child drinks water, don't he just drink it together? He poured some boiling water from the thermos, stirred it with a small spoon for a while, until it was lukewarm, and took it to his own mouth to taste.When he had finished eating, he waited by the side with his cup in his hand, as if he wanted to put the cup down because it would be too late to use it.After waiting for a long time, the child did not wake up, so he woke up the child impatiently.ask him: "Would you like some water?"

"No, I need to pee." "Drink some water before peeing, drink some..." He stirred the thin liquid soaked in the cup with a spoon, and poured it towards the child's mouth, until his nose was covered with paste.The child scratched his nose, scratched his hands, and cried while urinating on the bed. "It's over." Ma Paile cursed, and went to greet the child's mother. When he was about to leave, he picked up the mug of paste and swallowed it himself.The thing was in the throat, as if he was about to block his breath, he quickly stretched his neck and massaged his neck for a while before swallowing it completely.

When the child is not sick, he seldom buys anything for the child to eat, and even if he buys it, he puts it in a very high place. He always puts it on the hanging suitcase.The children were so greedy that they moved the benches, boarded the table, and tried their best to climb up to the hanging suitcase. Therefore, most of the teacups in Marlborough's room had their handles off the handles, because the children rushed to climb the hanging suitcases and dropped them on the ground. The youngest girl in Marble, Jager, was so cute, with dark eyes and fat little arms. One day when her mother was not at home, she followed her brothers to climb up to the hanging box.It turned out that there were three big white pears on the top.

Just as they climbed to the top, Ma Paile came from the corridor.Through the glass window, he shouted: "Good thing, you little wolf cubs?" Because his voice was a little too loud, Jage was so frightened that he rolled down from the height and fell onto the spittoon. Since then, pretty Jager has suffered a large scar over his right eye. Ma Bole is very timid, but he is very alert, he is very smart, when he sees that things are not going well, he packs up the box and runs away.He said: "There is always a setback in everything." His so-called "regression" means "escape".In any matter, if he feels pessimistic, he will run away first.Where are you going?He often does not know it himself, but he is brave, he is reckless, he pursues him like a wild beast, and makes him escape faster than anything else.

One year he went to Shanghai just to escape.He told his father that he wanted to study at Shanghai xx University.He saw that his father didn't answer, and the next day, he asked again, but his father got angry because of asking so repeatedly, took off his glasses and gave him a hard look. When he saw it, it was not good, it must be something strange done by the old lady inside.And he happened to be in a relationship with a woman at that time, and this matter was too big and he quarreled with him several times.Probably the wife ran to the father to complain?Said that I was going to Shanghai after that woman.If you stay at home and don't leave, you will cause trouble.

Taking advantage of these two days when his wife went back to his natal home, he asked his father about his going to study in Shanghai to see if his father would agree or not.Sure enough, my father said nothing: "I can't go, I can't go." That night, he packed his bag, thinking he had to escape. Carry everything in the bag, toothbrush and tooth powder.Just talking about toothbrushes, he opened his wife's pigskin suitcase and saw that there were more than a dozen of them. He thought: Bring them all, if you don't bring them for nothing, there will be no chance to bring them in the future.I saw towels and soap again, which were from "Lux", and the soap was very good.Where is it not to wash your face!Soap is indispensable for washing your face.saw too

There are more than a dozen of Mrs.'s flowered handkerchiefs, all kinds of yarn, linen, and silk, and there are a few noble ones among them. Mrs. is too frugal to be willing to use them. Now let him take them.He is very proud.He said in his heart: "You miser, who do you not want to save?" Ma Bole smiled sweetly to himself, the more he looked at the little handkerchief, the prettier it became. "It would be great if this was given to... her!" ("She" is his lover) Ma Bole was so proud that he closed this box and went to open the second one.In short, before leaving, he had searched three large boxes and two small boxes.

He brought a total of more than twenty ties, new and old. In short, he wore all the ties.There were more than 20 pairs of new and old socks, some of which were so torn that they were almost unusable, and some that were dirty and hadn't been washed, because he didn't have time to check them, so they were all stuffed in the box. The rest of what he couldn't want, he dumped all over the floor, making the house a mess.Wife's talcum powder, took a bed.Broken shoes, socks, and even some of the children's things were thrown all over the floor.He didn't intend to come back anyway.He loathes this family to the extreme, mediocre, silent, lifeless...

Young people who live in such a house for a long time will be damaged and rotten, and moss will grow all over their bodies, and it will make a lively modern youth covered with fluff like a rainy day, just like those The plants on the seabed are general.When bathing in the sea, stepping on those seaweeds, the slippery and sticky feeling is so uncomfortable!Slowly, young people in this family will become like that; they will be like the plants on the seabed.In short, this family is unbearable, it is going to be fatuous and old.Just look at your father, he wakes up every morning and prays to God for more than half an hour.Father was kneeling and took off his glasses. His murmured voice was like a big bee buzzing around a person's ear, and it was hard to tell what he was beeping.Sometimes he clasped his hands to his face, like a man carved in stone, and remained motionless. After praying, he put on his glasses, sat in the living room at the edge of an ancient Chinese-style long table made of iron pear wood, and read the book of Priest Jianying. A gold-dusted Bible for him.The "Bible" was decorated noblely, so only the father read it alone, and even the mother was not allowed to do it, and the rest of the family were even more afraid to do it. It is more dignified than the Ma family's family tree.Since my father believed in the Jesus religion, he kept the family tree and only took it out and put it on display during the Chinese New Year.Unlike this "Bible", it is not allowed to touch it all year round. Ma Paile's father was originally a pure Chinese old man, wearing a Chinese bronze-colored robe with large tufts of flowers, silk-soled mille-soled shoes, and half-inch-long nails on his hands.But he also learned to speak a foreign language. When foreign friends from the local church came to his house, the old man called the servant "Boy" and yelled for them to bring beer: "Beer, beer!" (beer) When the beer was poured into the glass and foaming, he said to his foreign friends: "please!" (please) All foreign things are good, foreign children are fat, foreign women are capable, foreign glasses are very strong, foreign woolen fabrics are so good. Because of his admiration for foreigners, the father often promotes it to his sons, asking him to learn foreign languages ​​and advocating his sons to wear suits. Almost even the little grandchildren have done this. The little grandchildren all wear the same shorts as Western children wear, with suspenders on their shoulders.When I wake up in the morning, I always say: Good morining. ① As soon as the sun rose, he said: "Good today!"② When meeting a foreigner, say: "Hello, how do you do?③ The grandfather not only taught the grandchildren this set, but also taught the grandchildren to read the Bible.Sometimes I called my grandchildren, stood respectfully at the table, and taught them to read a passage from the Bible. What was read to the children was, "says my Lord Jesus," "God told us not to do this," "David tore his clothes," "Bethlehem the shepherd," "the lying Pharisee" ,... Listen, some of the children are falling asleep, mixing up bits and pieces of the Bible that they usually memorize in church.Standing there digging his nose and biting his nails, he was so dazed that he couldn't even turn his eyes, and fell asleep.At this time, the grandfather gave an order and let them disperse.Scatter to the outside of the aisle, and the children will not be noisy for a long time.Because they rubbed their eyes and yawned and yawned. There is also the day of observing the Sabbath. From morning to evening, shopping is not allowed, and shopping for vegetables and fruit is not allowed.In summer, those who sell big watermelons go by load by load and are not allowed to buy them.If you want to eat, you must buy it the day before and put it away, and eat it the next day.If you forgot the day before, or if you bought watermelons but not melons, or plums came out when the apricots were coming down, you will inevitably forget that after buying one.What's more, there are too many things to buy in a market, and you can't always buy them all.Therefore, when the children cry too much on this day, the mother has to secretly buy them to eat.If the old man finds out about this, even though he said nothing on this Sabbath-keeping day; on the second day, if someone has done something wrong and let him know, he will call him over, and he will be there again. On the long table, open the "Bible" coated with gold powder, and read a passage from the "Bible" to them. The traditions of the Ma family are the Bible and foreign languages.One time when he came back from church, Ma Bole's father took the eight-year-old Jager's brother with him.As soon as he left the door of the chapel, the child saw a man in foreign attire. He thought it was a foreigner, so he turned around and said to him: "How do you do?" The man patted the child on the top of the head and said, "You child, how well you speak foreign languages!" The child was very upset when he heard that he was a Chinese, so he pulled his grandfather and laughed loudly: "Grandpa, that Chinese, he can't speak foreign languages!" This day, Ma Bole also went to worship together. Seeing this scene, I felt infinite hatred in my heart: "Is this okay? What is the use of such a child when he grows up! The Chinese nation is going into the abyss day by day! If every family in China is like this, they will teach their children to have bright eyes when they see foreigners. ;It’s like seeing foreign money. Foreigners don’t give you foreign money! Damn, they suck up all the fat and oil of the people, and they still give them fucking respect.” While packing the suitcase, Ma Bole felt extremely disgusted with the family. Such a family can't stop for a moment, so why didn't they want to leave?What a fool, should have left long ago!Damn it, if you are alone, you can still stay in this family for a minute? And a wife like this is not interesting at all.Since she gave birth, she doesn't even read a book, and she doesn't even write a diary.Every day, I hold a "Bible" and put on airs like reading but not reading.She said that she doesn't believe in Nasus, but it's just for future family property, can you not believe it?She said her father said that whoever is faithful to the Lord Jesus, the future testament The top is who has the most property. This family is really serious, they are all watching Dayang Qian live there, they are all immoral and have no faith. Although Ma Paile hated the family completely, but when he was about to run away from the family for a while, he had an infinite nostalgia for him: "This is the last time!" "Can I come back in the future? I ran away. Doesn't my father feel resentful because of this?" he asked himself in his mind. "I can't come back." He answered himself. So he had to bring all the things he wanted to bring, and if he didn't bring them, he would have nothing to use in the future. And there never will be. What a big deal it was to "escape" behind my father's back. How should I write my first letter after fleeing to Shanghai? He found it difficult to speak.But he thought again, what is this, he should leave. "Promising young people in modern times, if they don't act decisively, can they still do well?" He took what he should bring, so he grabbed a lot of messy things from the drawer of the writing desk, useful and useless, and stuffed them in the box. By the time the clock struck two o'clock in the morning, he had packed three large boxes and two small boxes. When it was almost dawn, as soon as he couldn't hear well, his father was about to get up, and at the same time there seemed to be the sound of opening the door. Probably the servants are up! Ma Bole was sweating profusely, but he couldn't think of a good way. "If you carry things, you probably won't be able to leave; if you can walk, you won't be able to carry things." He just thought for a moment: "Is it the fate of one's life that matters, or those things?" "If the wife comes back, can I go?" At this time, there was a coughing sound in the father's room.Not good, run away quickly. Mabel was very brave, grabbed only a hat, didn't even tie his tie, and fled downstairs. Ma Bole didn't even bring the suitcases he packed all night without sleep.He is really timid, but he is alert. What hadn't happened, he could have predicted would happen.Bad he can think more and more bad.Pessimistic things made him think about it, and he could think that it was out of control.Anything that has a little flaw, if he looks at it, he can see it at a glance, it is no longer necessary, and must be thrown away. When he walked, he rolled his eyes and looked around, as if someone was about to arrest him at any moment. When you go to a restaurant to eat, as soon as you pull up the chair, first feel it with your fingers to see if the chair is clean.If it is clean, he will sit down; if it is dirty, he will still sit down.But he had to stand and hesitate for a while, showing a little displeasure.When the chopsticks were placed on the table, he had to check them first.His method of inspection is very strange, unlike ordinary people, instead of wiping with the square piece of paper brought along with the chopsticks, he lifts the chopsticks up to the eyebrows to look carefully.After reading it, he took out his own handkerchief and wiped it hygienically with his own handkerchief, as if only his handkerchief was clean.In fact, it was wrong. His handkerchief was only put in the tub when he took a bath within a week, and he washed it once with the bath water.When he goes to a western restaurant, he completely trusts him. He doesn’t even look at the chairs, he pulls them over and sits on them (sometimes he touches the tablecloth carefully with his hands, but he sees how delicately embroidered the tablecloth is. flower, not to see if it is dirty).When the knife and fork were brought over, he was given a piece of white rice.He didn't even look at the knife and fork, without any doubt, he took it and forked it on the meatloaf. When he goes to a Chinese store to buy things, he is willing to fight for a cheaper price. They clearly have a price tag on them, but if he looks at the price tag, he still wants to fight.For men's rayon socks, each pair has four corners, but he prefers three and a half triangles, but it doesn't work.If not, he also bought it.He would never go to the second house to take another look, because he had an abacus in mind: "These socks are not expensive! Four cents is cheap, if you go to a big company to buy them, you must buy them at five cents." Since he knows it's cheap, why is he still fighting over the price? He just thought, wouldn't it be better if it could be cheaper?Isn't the cheaper the better?Wouldn't it be better if it was given to him in vain? He doesn't argue with buying things in foreign stores.Let him fight, and he won't fight.Even if there is no price tag, as long as foreigners say it, two yuan is two yuan, and three yuan is three yuan.He didn't show at all that he valued money very much, he took it out of his pocket without thinking, and he paid it immediately. Because as soon as he entered a foreign store, he felt that it was very solemn, and the solemn atmosphere oppressed him. He was willing to buy something and leave as soon as possible, just escape as soon as possible. He said that foreigners don't have good things. He was just the opposite of his father. He opposed his father's saying that foreign countries are good and that are good. Although he doesn't promote how good foreigners are, he often scolds Chinese people: "Fucking Chinese! For example, when getting into a car, everyone is crowded, and Ma Bole is also crowded among them. When someone squeezes his hat, he yells: "Fucking Chinese! What are you squeezing!" Walking on the street, someone behind bumped him, but the man didn't even say "I'm sorry".He looked at the person who was walking away, and he wanted to say: "What a fucking Chinese!" The servant of the Marble family accidentally hit a cup, and he gave him a hard look: "What a fucking Chinese!" It seems that foreigners don't break the glass, I don't know what he means. Once he opened a letter and hurt the letter paper inside. He opened the letter and saw that many characters were missing, so he said: "What a fucking Chinese!" Ma Bole's whole body is alert, sensitive, and also seems to be happy.Only his eyes were always twinkling with sorrow. His eyes were dark, often with a gleam of distrust.He talks face-to-face with others, and his eyes are fixed on others all the time, and he looks back and forth from head to toe, from foot to head, and then he fixes his gaze on other people's faces, looking at them. Watched like this for a minute or two. With this view, he seemed very sad, and a lot of pity radiated from his eyes. It seemed that the person he was talking to was an accomplice or an accomplice, and he was connected with the same luck or misfortune, which seemed very friendly but not easy to show. Ma Bole is sad, he likes some literature, often reads some novels, and sighs while reading. "It's so well written! What a fucking Chinese." Most of what he reads are translated novels, and he also reads Chinese novels, but he often feels that the writing is not strong enough. For example, when writing things like prison diaries, he felt that they wrote too loosely, without being nervous at all, and writing hesitantly. If he was asked to write, he would definitely expose the darkness of the prison and leave nothing to it. Don't hold back anything, say what you want to say, and curse what you want to scold.This is the only way to be a writer. Especially in China, Chinese writers at this stage are actively promoting resistance to Japan, so he often sighs: "If I were a writer, I would have to lead the resistance against Japan. If China does not resist Japan, there will be no day of recovery." Later he started to buy dozens of manuscript papers from the street.He decided to start writing. When he read Gorky's "My Childhood", there were many places in it that reminded him.He also has some of the same life experience as Gorky, and some places are richer than Gorky's life. Has Gorky ever entered a coal pit?And Marble went in.His father ran a small coal mine, and he often went in with the workers to play. He decided to write.For five or six days he sat at the table, quietly and contemplatively. On the seventh day, he hadn't written a word, and he was so angry that he tore off many sheets of manuscript paper. But he still has to write, and he still often buys manuscript paper at home.At first he bought gold-edged ones, then ordinary ones, and finally he bought some white newspapers.He said: "If you want to be a writer, you have to use manuscript paper every day. How can you make the most of the good ones? It's a waste." He talked with his friends, and they all talked about the anti-Japanese issue, so the manuscripts he wanted to write became more and more complicated. I have to write. "If it is written about anti-Japanese, isn't this the right time? Isn't this just a leadership role? What a great job this is! This is what really pushes the wheel of history." The more he thought about it, the greater he became, as if he had become a general. So he used the gong solemnly. I bought a lot of new books, not only in the study, but also in the bedroom which is too big.Da Da went to the kitchen to fry fish. The child opened the glass bookshelf and threw his books all over the floor. Some even tore a few pages and stepped on them. "This book is borrowed. You tore it up. What will you do then?" Ma Bole was really angry that day, he never hit a child, and he didn't dare to hit a child.If he beats the child, his wife beats him from behind.But on this day, his eyes were really red with anger, and he pushed the child on the bed and beat him until he screamed. At first, the child thought it was the same as usual, it was his father who was playing with him, so he was pushed to the bed and giggled while kicking and swinging his calf.Marble said: "Good stuff, just wait!" After beating the child, the glass bookcase was also locked.Day by day, I continued to move books from the public library to my home.He knew the library clerk, so he was free to take any book he wanted, without registration or registration. Ma Bole knew that he couldn't read the books in the public library, but since the bookshelf was prepared at home, it would be nice to have more books. Since then, he still wears glasses, almost like a real scholar. He probably didn't come to the big house a day.The eldest wife said that he was much thinner, and she wanted to go to the street to buy him a bottle of cod liver oil to eat. Soon, Ma Bole fell ill.Everyone knows that he does not take any medicine when he is sick.Just a few more cigarettes would be fine. However, during his illness, he wrote some articles beyond his own expectations. He bought several classics of world literature, some of which he had read, and some of which he hadn't had time to read.But he chose one among them, and he held that one day and night, especially when he was writing on paper, he could hardly leave that book, he just wrote and looked at it. That book is a foreign novel and does not involve anything in China.But he thought it didn't matter much, the foreigner's name was Petrov, he used it in his novel On, he changed it to a Li, Wang, and so on. In short, after he changed all foreigners into Chinese, he added his central theme of "fighting Japan".These days, if you don't write "Hit Japan", will it sell?Besides, if you want to be a writer, will you be recognized if you are not leading the way? Ma Bole has no occupation and has been idle all year round. He has been like this since graduating from high school.Although he went to Shanghai that year and wanted to study in university, he didn't pass the exam and was there to audit.His father therefore did not pay him.Although he forged some credentials, wrote an envelope from the university, and asked his father to write back to XX University, none of them took effect. So he went back home to be the young master, and most of the young masters were happy to spend money casually.But he couldn't, his father said: Until I die, you don't have to think about it, you have to hold every penny in my hands. "At the same time, it is often said: "If any of you despise your father's old age and stupidity, you can take your children and wives and start a new life." Ma Bole often listened to such ugly and meaningless words when he lived at home.Although the bed at home is soft and the meals at home are in season, it always feels like being abused every day. Like one of the servants in the family, Liuliu, if he saw his father's expression was not right, he had to run away quickly. Whenever I asked my father for a little pocket money, it was harder than digging for gold. When I got the money, I had to say: "Thank you Lord, thank you Father in heaven." Whenever he asked his father for money, his face would be red with anger, and he would take the money back to his room, throw it on the table, and then: "What a fucking Chinese!" Then he called his father a miser, money-seeker, safe, stone cabinet and other terms. But after a few days, the money ran out again, so I should spend it sparingly.I need to buy a new set of pajamas, but I can't wear the old ones anymore. My wife has sewed them several times. It costs eight yuan to open the mouth, eight yuan is not expensive, but I only have ten yuan in my hand, and after eight yuan is gone, there is no pocket money. Sometimes we go to the movies with friends, and if they invite us, we have to invite them too! Sometimes when his hand was completely empty, he would go to borrow it from his wife, and the wife would throw him her own money, and the wife would make an ugly face: "Men only! You can't go outside to think about money and take women's money." Once Ma Bole asked his father for money, but his father didn't give it. He ran to his wife and said to Da Da: "This old man, the older he gets, the more confused he becomes, what a fucking Chinese!" Mrs. said: "It's no wonder my father, no matter how young, he is also in his 20s and 30s. When you open your mouth, you are your father, and when you reach out, you get money. If it wasn't for my father to be tighter, like you, I would have to sell my wife as a child in the future.Two hands a day, besides asking for money, is to eat, see if you have other abilities?I think my father is not bad!If you spread the poor father, don't beg for food! " Ma Bole's face was pale and pale: "It doesn't matter if I go to beg for food, you don't want to go with someone who is rich and powerful," Marble still wanted to continue. But the wife burst into tears as she leaned over and put it on: "You are heartless, isn't it all about you? I don't have any of my gold rings. You didn't go crazy that year, and you went to Shanghai! Where is my gold bracelet? You still have it?" Me, what kind of girlfriend did you have in Shanghai, and whose money did you use to make it rich? I haven’t asked you for it until today, and you have a mouth to scold me. My boss, Xi’s, sister Zizi’s, they go out They are all worn with golden tigers and tigers. Even if we don’t have as many people, we still have to be a little bit. When I marry you, Ma Bole has never eaten delicious food or drunk spicy food. You will run away at any time, Beijing or Shanghai ...Wherever you go, you will ask for money. When you ask for money, you can’t write a quick letter quickly enough, and you call a telegram. When you ask me for money, the sooner the better. You haven’t recovered yet, so you turned me around, if you were successful, you could still want me, and you would have thrown it away eight thousand miles away.” Ma Bole ran away long ago, knowing that things were not good, if his wife's nonsense, if his father heard, "What will we do then?" He went downstairs, ran to the second gate, and stood by the screen wall. Behind the screen wall are a pair of large round glass aquariums.As soon as he vibrated the rim, the fish inside ran faster for a while. He watched and found it amusing. "It would be great if a person could become a goldfish! Goldfish only drink water, don't eat, and don't spend money!" Just as he was thinking about it, he could vaguely hear the bitter and noisy voice upstairs.He wanted to plug his ears, he thought it was terrible, if his father heard, "At that time, what should we do?" Just about to take a step to escape, to the street, where such cries could not be heard at all.As soon as he turned around, he heard a cry from upstairs: "You give me a gold bracelet! You give me a gold bracelet!" The voice was very loud, as if my wife had come out and was yelling in the corridor, and I could hear it very clearly. But he didn't dare to look into the corridor, he ran into the street. Upstairs, the wife was still crying herself, and even wet a small handkerchief made by herself with white flowers and blue ground, and her face was covered with disheveled hair.Wet the sheets too. Her infinite sadness was like pouring a glass of water, and it couldn't be contained. "You, Ma Bole, are so heartless. Look, is there a gold star in my hand? Look, come and see..." The wife stood up and saw that Marble was no longer in the room. So he fell on the bed and cried more sadly, but he stood up after only crying a few times. He stubbornly stopped his tears, took a towel and soaked it in the washbasin, and then wiped his face. His face was burning hot, but after washing it with cold water, he felt very cool.Just a little dizzy, and the eyes are very red.Can't go out, it's embarrassing to go out. I had to sit on the sofa and pick up the daily newspaper of the day to read, feeling very bored. When she saw an advertisement in a certain store, saying that a new batch of fashions had arrived from Shanghai, ladies please come early, and a photo of a small fleece was published in the newspaper.The clothes were see-through, beautiful and new, she had never seen them before.She thought it would be great to buy one and wear it for a walk by the beach.Under the light, the transparent flowers look better. When she looked up, she saw in the full-length mirror, the woman with red eyes was herself.She remembered again: "Still buying this and that, the money is not enough for him to dig and cheat by himself... oh..." She sighed, still reluctantly reading the newspaper.She is impatient. "For such a worthless person, it will be a waste of time to spend all your life with him." The wife is a very strong woman. "What's the use of being strong, you have to be strong, he doesn't want to be strong,..." After thinking about it, she felt that life was meaningless, and when she looked in the mirror, she felt that she was much older and paler. But I am a little fatter than before, so my chin is very wide.When a person is fat, his eyes become smaller. She felt that her former charm was gone. So I picked up the small mirror beside me, brushed the hair on my forehead, and took a closer look to see if there were many wrinkles on my forehead?Wrinkles are still not very obvious.But how many days have not repaired the eyebrows.Let the child make trouble, and the two eyebrows have grown into one. She went to open the drawer of the dresser to find the eyebrow clip.After searching left and right, she couldn't find it, and suddenly she remembered that the clip was not for children to play with it?I seem to remember seeing it somewhere, but I can't remember it so badly.These children are really annoying. They play with everything and make them faint all day. Talking about it, she felt a little dizzy again, and she sat down on the sofa again without strength. She had been sitting there until she stood up when she heard someone calling her in the corridor. "Eldest young mistress!" The cry was very gentle, and one could tell it was her mother-in-law.She hastily agreed: "Mother, please wait for a while, I will come as soon as I put my head together." When she answered, she made a soft and coquettish voice as much as possible, so that she could listen to it and feel that life is still interesting. So she quickly combed her hair and put a little powder on her face. Although she didn't put on rouge, she didn't feel that she had aged much.Just as he was about to go out, he saw that his cheongsam had been covered with creases when he was crying. She opened the hanging suitcase, and the hanging suitcase was full of colorful robes.She didn't choose carefully either, she pulled out one and put it on, it was purple with no flowers on it, it was already half new and not old.But she also looks good in clothes, very ladylike. Her hair was combed back together, with very small waves, just because she had just combed it with a comb, it still felt a little fluffy.She wore beige socks and loafers in blue satin embroidered with yellow flowers. She walked without making a sound.When she closed the door, she looked at herself in the big mirror, and it really didn't look like she had just cried. So she walked along the corridor with confidence.The glass windows in front of the corridor flickered with figures. When she arrived at her mother-in-law's house, her mother-in-law told her to have nothing else to do, but Father Ma's daughter Come from Shanghai, bring a piece of black gauze material to my mother-in-law.The mother-in-law said that elderly people would make people laugh if they wore them, so she planned to give them to her.She took it up and said: "Thank you, my Lord Jesus." She held the carton with both hands, and she made a very respectful gesture.When she was about to leave with the paper box, the mother-in-law still leaned into her ear and said: "You did it secretly, don't tell me...you will be unhappy if you tell the second young lady." Mrs. Ma Bole returned to her room, spread the black gauze around her body, and looked in front of the mirror.Her self-confidence was born again. The mother-in-law gave her the clothes instead of the second young lady, which proves that the mother-in-law likes her.My mother-in-law likes her because she reads the Bible diligently every morning.The old man said it well: "Whoever is the most sincere to the Lord Jesus will receive more inheritance in the future." She felt that the voice of her reading the "Bible" was still low, and the old lady heard it, the old lady My father's ears are not very good, I'm afraid he may not hear, so I have to read it aloud again tomorrow. After she put away her clothes, she went to the kitchen to take care of the servants and cook. What gold bracelets, gold rings, I am afraid that there will be no one in the future?Just be true to Jesus. So the quarrel between her and Ma Bole was almost forgotten in her mind. Ma Bole's father was a gentleman from a small city in northern China. He was rich, but not very rich.His father was born in poverty, and he was afraid that he would go back to poverty, so he was very careful, and he worked hard everywhere.There are tens of thousands of deposits, or less than one hundred thousand, which is probably the amount.Therefore, his methods of managing his son are very strict (in fact, there is only one method, "do you want money?"). And I set an example by getting up early and going to bed late.I have had a deep faith in Jesus for several years. Marble doesn't care about these things.独有向父亲要钱的时候，父亲那种严加考问的态度，使他大为不满，使他大为受不了。 马伯乐在家里本是一位少爷，但因为他得不到实在的，他就甘心和奴仆们站在一方面。他的举动在家里是不怎样大方的，是一点气派也没有的，走路溜溜的。 因此他恨那有钱的人，他讨厌富商，他讨厌买办，他看不起银行家。他喜欢嘲笑当地的士绅。他不喜欢他的父亲。 因此，像父亲那一流人，他都不喜欢。 他出门不愿坐洋车。他说：“人拉着人，太没道理。” “前边一个挣命的，后边一个养病的。”这不知是什么人发明的两句比喻，他觉得这真来得恰当。拉车的拼命地跑，真像挣命的样子。坐车的朝后边歪着，真像个养病的。 对于前边跑着那个挣命的，虽然说马伯乐也觉得很恰当，但他就总觉得最恰当的还是后边坐着那个养病的。 因为他真是看不惯，父亲一出一入总是坐在他自用的洋车里。 马伯乐是根本不愿意坐洋车，就是愿意坐，他父亲的车子，他也根本不能坐。 记得有一次马伯乐偷着跳上了父亲的车子，喊那车夫，让那车夫拉他。 车夫甩着那张扎煞的毛巾，向马伯乐说： “我是侍候老爷的。我侍候你，我侍候不着。” 他只得悄悄地从车子上下来了。 但是车前那两个擦得闪眼湛亮的白铜灯，也好像和马伯乐示威的样子。 他心里真愤恨极了，他想上去一脚把它踏碎。 他临走出大门的时候，他还回头回脑地用眼睛去瞪那两个白铜灯。 马伯乐不喜交有钱的朋友。He said: “有钱的人，没有好人。” “有钱的人就认得钱。” “有钱的人，老婆孩子都不认得。” “有钱的人，一家上下没有不刻薄的，从仆人到孩子。” “有钱的人，不提钱，大家欢欢喜喜；若一提钱，就把脸一变。祖孙父子尚且如此，若是朋友，有钱的，还能看得起没钱的吗？” 他算打定了主意，不交有钱的朋友。 交有钱的朋友，哪怕你没有钱，你回家去当你老婆的首饰，你也得花钱。他请你看电影，你也得请他。他请你吃饭，你也得请他。他请你上跳舞厅，你也得照样买好了舞票，放在他的口袋里。他给你放一打，你也得给他放一打半。他给你放一打半，你得给他放两打。著是他给你放一打，你也给他放一打，那未免大小气了，他就要看不起你了。 可是交几个穷朋友，那就用不着这一套。那真好对付，有钱的时候，随便请他们吃一点烫面蒸饺，吃一点枣泥汤圆之类，就把他们对付得心满意足了。 所以马伯乐在中学里交的多半是穷朋友，就是现在他的朋友也不算多，差不多还是那几个。他们的资财都照马伯乐差得很远。 交了穷朋友，还有一种好处，你若一向他们说： “我的父亲有七八万的财产。” 不用说第二句话，他们的眼睛就都亮了。可是你若当有钱的人说，他们简直不听你这套，因为他父亲的钱比你的父亲的钱更多。你若向他们说了，他们岂不笑死？ 所以马伯乐很坚定的，认为有钱的人不好。 但是穷朋友也有一个毛病，就是他们常常要向他借钱。钱若一让他们看见了，就多少得给他们一点。 所以马伯乐与穷朋友相处时，特别要紧的是他的钱包要放在一个妥当的地方。 再回头来说，马伯乐要想写文章，不是没道理的，他觉得他的钱太少了，他要写文章去卖钱。他的文章没有写出来，白费了工夫。 后来，他看看，要想有钱，还是得经商，所以他又到上海去了一次，去经营了一个小书店。 这次是父亲应允了的，不是逃的。 并且父亲觉得他打算做生意了，大概是看得钱中用了。于是帮助他一笔款子。 太太对他这经商的企图，且也暗中存着很多的期望，对他表示着十分的尊敬。 在马伯乐临走的前一天的晚饭，太太下了厨房，亲自做了一条鱼，就像给外国神父所做的一样。外国神父到她家来吃饭时都是依着外国法子，把鱼涂好了面包粉，而后放在锅子里炸的。 太太走在前边，仆人端着盘子，跟在后边。一进了饭厅太太就说： “伯乐今天可得多吃一点。鱼，是富贵有余的象征，象征着你将来的买卖必有盈余。说不定伯乐这回去上海会发个小财回来。” 马伯乐的母亲听了也很高兴，不过略微地更正了一点： “大少爷是去开书店，可不是做买卖。” 父亲讲了很多的一堆话。父亲的眼镜不是挂在耳朵上的而是像蚂蚱腿一样，往两鬓的后边一夹，那两块透明的石头是又大又圆的，据说是乾隆年间的。 是很不错，戴着它，眼睛凉瓦瓦的，是个花镜。父亲一天也离不了它。 但是有时候也很讨厌，父亲就觉得它不是外国货。有好几次教会里的外国朋友，从上海，从香港，带回来外国的小长长眼镜来送给他。他也总打算戴一戴试试，哪管不能多戴，只是到礼拜堂里去时戴一戴。 可是无论如何不成，无论如何戴不上。因为外国眼镜是夹在鼻子上的，中国人的鼻子大小，夹不住。 到后来，没有办法，还是照旧戴着这大得和小碟似的前清的 眼镜。 父亲抬一抬眼睛说： “你今年可不算小了，人不怕做了错事，主耶稣说过，知道错了就改了，那是不算罪恶的。好比你……过去……” 父亲说到这里叹了一口气： “唉！那都不用说了，你南方跑一次上海，北方跑一次北京……唉！那都不用说了，哪个人年青还不荒唐二年，可是人近了三十，就应该立定脚跟好好干一点事，不为自己，还得为自己的儿孙后代……主耶稣为什么爱他的民呢？为什么上了十字架的？，还不是为了他的民。人也非得为着他的后代着想不可，我若是不为着你们，我有钱我还不会到处逛逛，我何必把得这样的紧，和个老守财奴似的。你看你父亲，从早到晚，一会礼拜堂，一会马神父公馆。我知道，你们看了，觉得这都是多余的，好像你父亲对外国人太着眼，其实你父亲也不愿那样做，也愿意躺在家里装一装老太爷。可是这不可能。外国人是比咱们强，人家吃的穿的，人家干起事来那气派。咱们中国人，没有外国人能行吗？虽然也有过八国联军破北京，打过咱们，那打是为了咱们好，若不打，中国的教堂能够设立这么多吗？人家为啥呢，设立教堂！人家是为着咱们老百姓呵，咱们中国的老百姓，各种道德都及不上外国人，咱们中国人不讲卫生，十个八个人地住在一个房间里。就好比咱们这样的人家，这院子里也嘈杂得很一天像穿箭似的，大门口一会丫头出去啦，一会拉车的车夫啦。一会卖香瓜的来，又都出去买香瓜。你看那外国人，你看那外国人住的街，真是雅静得很，一天到晚好像房子是空着。人家外国人，不但夫妇不住一屋，就连孩子也不能跟着她妈睡觉，人家有儿童室，儿童室就是专门给小孩子预备的。咱们中国人可倒好，你往咱们这条街上看看，哪一个院子里不是蚂蚁翻锅似的。一个院子恨不能住着八家，一家有上三个孩子。外国人就不然，外国人是咱们中国人的模范。好比咱们喝酒这玻璃杯子吧，若不是人家外国人坐着大洋船给咱们送到中国来，咱们用一个杯子还得到外国去买，那该多不便当。人家为着啥？人家不是为了咱们中国方便吗！？” 马伯乐听了心里可笑，但是他也没有说什么。因为马伯乐的脾气一向如此，当着面是什么也不说的，还应和着父亲，他也点着头。 父亲这一大堆话，到后来是很感伤的把话题落在马伯乐身上。好像是说，做父亲的年纪这样大了，还能够看你们几年，你们自己是该好好干的时候了。 母亲在桌子上没敢说什么。可是一吃完了饭，就跪到圣母玛丽亚的像前，去祷告了半点多钟，乞求主耶稣给他儿子以无限的勇气，使他儿子将来的生意发财。 “主耶稣，可怜他，他从来就是个老实的好孩子。就是胆小，我主必多多赐给他胆量。他没有做过逆我主约言的事情。我主，在天的父，你给他这个去上海的机会，你也必给他无限的为商的经验。使他经起商来，一年还本，二年生利，三年五年，金玉满堂，我主在天的父。” 马伯乐有生以来第一次接受这样庄严的感情，自己受着全家的尊敬，于是他迈着大步在屋子里来回地踱着，他手背在背后，他的嘴唇扣得很紧，看起来好像嘴里边在咬着什么。他的眼光看去也是很坚定的。他觉得自己差一点也是一位主人。他自己觉着在这个世界上活着也是有权利的。 他从来不信什么耶稣，这一天也不知道他倒是真的信了怎么的，只是他母亲从玛丽亚那儿起来时，他就跪下去了。 这是他从来所未有的。母亲看了十分感动，连忙把门帘挑起，要使在客厅里的父亲看一看。 平常父亲说马伯乐对主是不真诚的： “晚祷他也不做呀！” 母亲那时就竭力辩护着，她说： “慢慢他必要真诚的。” 现在也不是晚祷的时候，他竟自动地跪下了。 母亲挑起门帘来还向父亲那边做了一个感动的眼神。 父亲一看，立刻就在客厅里那稣的圣像面前跪下了。他祷告的是他的儿子被耶稣的心灵的诱导，也显了真诚的心了。他是万分地赞颂耶稣给他的恩德。 父亲也祷告了半点多钟。 母亲一看，父亲也跪下了，就连忙去到媳妇的屋里。而媳妇不在。 老太大急急忙忙地往回头走，因为走得太急，她的很宽的腮边不住地颤抖着。 在走廊上碰到媳妇抱着孩子大说大叫地来了。她和婆母走了个对面，她就说： “娘呵！这孩子也非打不可了，看见卖什么的，就要买什么。这守安息日的日子，买不得……” 婆婆向她一摆手，脸上没有什么表情，好像有什么事发生了似的。婆婆说： “你别喊，你看保罗跪在圣母那儿啦！”婆婆说了一句话，还往喉咙里边咽了一口气，“你还不快也为他祈祷，祈求慈爱的在天的父不要离开他。从今天起，保罗就要对主真诚了。” 说着她就推着媳妇： “你没看你爹也跪下了，你快去……” （马怕乐本来叫马保罗，是父亲给他起的外国名字。他看外国名子不大好，所以自己改了的。他的母亲和父亲仍叫他保罗） 不一会的工夫差不多全家都跪下了。 马家虽然不是礼拜堂，可是每一间屋里都有一张圣像。就连走廊、过道也有。仆人们的屋子里也有。 不过仆人的屋子比较不大讲究一点，没有镶着框子，用图钉随便钉在那里。仆人屋里的圣像一年要给他们换上一张，好像中国过年贴的年画一样。一年到头挂得又黑又破，有的竟在耶稣的脚上撕掉了一块。 经老太大这一上下地奔跑，每张圣像前边都跪着人，不但主人，仆人也都跪下了。 梗妈跪在灶房里。 梗妈是山东乡下人，来到城里不久，就随了耶稣教了。在乡下她是供着佛的，进了城不久把佛也都扔了。传教的人向她说： “世间就是一个神，就是耶稣，其余没有别的神了。你从前信佛，那就是魔鬼遣进你的心了。现在你得救了。耶稣是永远开着慈爱的门的，脱离了魔鬼的人们，一跪到耶稣的脚前，耶稣没有不保护他的。” 梗妈于是每个礼拜日都到礼拜堂去，她对上帝最真诚，她一祷告起来就止不住眼泪，所以她每一祷告就必得大哭。 梗妈的身世很悲惨的，在她祷告的时候，她向上帝从头到尾他说了一遍： “上帝，你可怜我，我十岁没有娘，十五岁做了媳妇，做了媳妇三年我生了三个孩子……第三个孩子还没有出生，孩子的爹就走了，他说他跑关东去，第二年回来。从此一去无消息，……上帝，你可怜我……我的三个孩子，今天都长大了，上帝，可怜我，可别让他们再去跑关东。上帝，你使魔鬼离开他们，哪怕穷死，也是在乡里吧。” 马老太太跟她一同去做礼拜，听了她这番祷告，她也感动得流了眼泪。 梗妈做起事情来笨极了，拿东忘西的，只是她的心是善良的，马老太太困此就将就着她，没有把她辞退。 她哄着孩子玩的时候，孩子要在她的脸上画个什么，就画个什么。给她画两撇胡子，脑盖上画一个“王”字，就说梗妈是大老虎。于是梗妈也就伏在地上四个腿爬着，并且嗷嗷地学着虎叫。 有的时候，孩子给梗妈用墨笔画上了两个大圆眼镜，给她拿了手杖，让她装着绅士的样子。有一天老太太撞见了，把老太太还吓了一跳。可是老太太也没有生气。 因为梗妈的脾气太好了，让孩子捉弄着。 “若是别人，就那么捉弄，人家受得了？” 二少奶奶要辞退梗妈的时候，老太太就如此维护着她的。 所以今天老太太命令她为大少爷祈祷，以她祷告得最为悲哀，她缠缠绵绵地哭着，絮絮叨叨地念诵着。 小丫环正端着一盆脸水，刚一上楼梯，就被老太太招呼住。 小丫环也是个没有娘的孩子。并不是娘死了，或者是爹死了，而是因为穷，养活不了她，做娘的就亲手抱着她，好像抱着小羊上市去卖的一样，在大街上就把她卖了。那时她才两岁，就卖给马老太太邻居家的女仆了。后来她长到七岁，马老太太又从那女仆手里买过来的。马老太太花去了三十块钱，一直到今天，马老太太还没有忘记。她一骂起小丫环来，或者是她自己心里有什么不高兴的事情，她就说： “我花三十块钱买你，还不如买几条好看的金鱼看看，金鱼是中看不中吃，你是又不中看又不中吃。” 小丫环做事很伶俐，没有什么不好，只是好偷点东西吃，姑奶奶或是少奶奶们的屋子，她是随时进出的，若屋子里没有人在，她总是要找一点什么糖果吃吃的。 老太太也打了她几次，一打她就嘴软了，她说再也不敢吃了，她说她要打赌。老太太看他很可怜，也就不打她了，说： “主是不喜欢盟誓的……” 老太大每打她一次，还自己难过一阵： “唉！也不是多大的孩子呵！今年才九岁，走一家又一家的，向这个叫妈那个叫娘的。若不是花钱买来的，若是自己肉生肉长的，还不知多娇多爱呢！最苦苦不过没娘的孩。” 老太太也常在圣像面前为她祈祷，但她这个好偷嘴吃的毛病，总不大肯改。 小丫环现在被老太太这一招呼，放下了端着的脸盆，就跪在走廊上了。 她以为又是她自己犯了什么还不知道的错处，所以规规矩矩地跪着，用污黑的小手盖在脸上。 老太太下楼一看，拉车的车夫还蹲在那儿擦车灯，她赶快招呼住他： “快为大少爷祈祷……快到主前为大少爷祈祷。” 车夫一听，以为大少爷发生了什么不幸，他便问： “大少爷不是在家没出去吗？” “就是在家没出去才让你祈祷。” 车失被喝呼着，也就隔着一道门坎向着他屋里的圣像跪下了。 车夫本来是个当地的瓷器小贩子，担些个土瓷、瓦盆之类，过门唤卖。本来日子过得还好，一妻一女。不料生了一场大病（伤寒病），他又没有准备金，又没有进医院，只吃些中国的草药，一病，病了一年多，他还没有全好，他的妻女，被他传染就都死在他的 Front. 于是病上加忧，等他好了，他差不多是个痴人了。每当黄昏，半夜，他一想到他的此后的生活的没有乐趣，便大喊一声： “思想起往事来，好不伤感人也！” 若是夜里，他就破门而出，走到天亮再回来睡觉。 他，人是苍白的，一看就知道他是生过大病。他吃完了饭，坐在台阶上用筷子敲饭碗，半天半天地敲。若有几个人围着看他，或劝他说： “你不要打破了它。” 他就真的用一点劲把它打破了。他租一架洋车，在街上拉着，一天到晚拉不到几个钱，他多半是休息着，不拉，他说他拉不动。有人跳上他的车让他拉的时候，他说： “拉不动。” 这真是奇怪的事情，拉车的而拉不动。人家看了看他，又从 他的车子下来了。 不知怎样，马伯乐的父亲碰上他了。对他说： “你既是身体不好，你怎么不到上帝那里，去哀求上帝给你治好呢？” 他看他有一点意思，便说： “你快去到主前，哀求主给你治吧！主治好过害麻风病的人，治好过瞎眼的人……你到礼拜堂去做过礼拜没有？我看你这个样子，是没有去过的，你快快去到主前祈祷吧。只有上帝会救了你。” 下礼拜，那个苍白的人，去到了礼拜堂，在礼拜堂里学会了祷告。