Chapter 3 back yard

back yard The back garden blooms in May and bears fruit in June, including cucumbers, eggplants, corn, kidney beans, winter melons, watermelons, tomatoes, and pumpkins with vines.The pumpkin seedling often climbs to the top of the wall, and then it goes out from the top of the wall and out of the yard. Just facing the street, a large yellow flower bloomed on the pumpkin vine. Facing this bustling back garden, there is a deserted and dark mill, and the back window of the mill faces the garden.It happened that cucumbers were planted along the row outside the window.Although this cucumber is not a pumpkin, it can also climb vines, so it bloomed on the window lattice of the mill, and it cleverly produced fruit.

In the morning dew, the tips of such delicate tendrils seem to be made of light green glass, so I dare not touch them, as if they must be broken off.At the same time, while bearing fruit, they climbed the window lattice and stretched to a higher place, as if they learned from each other, and climbed up the window one by one.By June, the windows were fully sealed, and on the window sills there were dripping big cucumbers and small cucumbers; A yellow flower hasn't fallen yet. And as the mill shook with the copper sieve, the cucumbers dangled on the windows.The copper Luo is under the grinder's feet, and it will "boom" when you step on it to the east, and "boom" when you step on the west; these cucumbers also follow the "boom" to the east and "boom" to the west on the window.

In June, the back garden became more lively, with butterflies flying, dragonflies flying, praying mantises jumping, and grasshoppers jumping.The bright red foreign persimmons are all red, and the eggplants are green and purple, bright and bright, fat and fat, and there are three, four, four or five eggplants on each eggplant seedling.The tassels of maize have just sprouted, and they are of different colors, just like the clips of a woman's embroidery silk thread, red, green, dark and light, they are too clean, I don't know why it is so clean, I don't know how it is so clean Yes, somehow it was done like that, or it was just washed with water, or it was anointed with oil.But it didn't look like it, it was so clean that I hadn't even touched it.

However, such a beautiful tassel does not give off any fragrance, so bees and butterflies will never scratch or suck on it. But those butterflies are making noise on the flowers that are blooming. Along one side of the owner's house, the back garden is planted with a large area of ​​flowers and plants.Because the owner of the garden is not a delicate person, but a thick old man.So his garden has mostly become a vegetable garden.There are no good flowers in the rest of the flowers, such as horse snake vegetable, creeper, rouge bean, dragon bean... These are all herbs, nothing noble. In winter, they are all buried in the heavy snow, and they all die.Clean up the site in spring and replant it.Some even do not need to be planted, it will come out by itself, such as the big Shuci, which does not need to be planted every year, it will come out by itself.Its own seeds fall on the ground this year and no one picks them up, and next year they will come out; next year they fall, and no one picks them up, and they will come out by themselves again.

In this age, the garden is full of large flowers.On the bottom of the wall, beside the flower stand, and on both sides of the sidewalk, some pumpkins or cucumbers have grown together.The silk tendrils of that nasty pumpkin wrapped around its body, so much that it pulled it down. But it fell to the ground and still bloomed. The people who shoveled the ground always pulled it out when they encountered it, but the more they pulled it out, the faster it grew. The first batch of flowers that had bloomed fell and fell to the ground, and soon it gave birth to new ones.So it can't be shoveled, and it can't be pulled out, and it has become a kind of annoying thing.There are also those that are entangled by pumpkins. If you want to pull them out, you have to pull out the pumpkins too, so you have to let them lie on the ground horizontally and vertically, and they have to bloom.

It grows very tall, five or six feet high, almost as tall as corn, a little taller than a human, and it is full of red and spicy. People don't treat it as a flower, they can break it if they want to, break it if they want to, and uproot it casually. The children who came to play in the garden randomly folded a pile, and the women folded and inserted it all. In this garden, from the owner to the visitors, no one loves the flowers.These flowers were never watered, let the wind blow and the sun shine, but they bloomed redder and more vigorously, making the garden dazzling and boasting that June was as hot as the water.

The rouge beans, golden lotus leaves, and horse snake vegetables are all blooming like fire. Among them, the horse snake vegetable is so red that it is so red that it will burst and shed red juice at any time. Looking at the garden from the mill, the garden is even more vivid, it is almost metallic, and it is as hot as burning in a fire. But the miller in the mill is lonely. He has no friends to visit him all day long, and he doesn't visit others. The lives in his memory are also blurred, and there are no new ones.He is in his thirties and has never been married, but his hair is much grayer and his teeth have fallen out several times. He looks like a young old man.He doesn't know if it's cloudy or rainy; spring, summer, autumn and winter are all the same to him.He doesn't pay attention to the people who live in the same courtyard as him; he doesn't remember his neighbors who have lived with him for a long time; he doesn't remember who they live in.

He forgot everything, he couldn't remember anything, because he felt that nothing was new. The world was completely dull to him.He only knows that he is a grinder, and a grinder is a grinder, and everything other than grinder has nothing to do with him. So he seems to have never seen the neighbor's daughter; if he has seen it, he has seen it, because he has no impression, it is almost as if he has never seen it. In the mill, a little donkey was turning around a plate of green and white round stones.Under the grinding road, it has been kicked by donkeys for many years, and a small depression has sunk in a circle.The little donkey's eyes are blindfolded, so it can't see anything, it just walks around in circles.A bridle was also put on its mouth, lest it steal the wheat on the millstone.

The little donkey knew that it was time to start turning as soon as it got on the mill road, so it walked silently, with its two ears standing straight up. Mo Guan sat on the truss, leaning forward a little.A wooden frame was erected in front of him, and on the frame was a wooden musical instrument. The name of the musical instrument was: "Clapper." Each miller uses one, that is, each mill has one.The old miller left, and the new miller came, still holding the old clapper.The clapper gradually became the shape of an ingot, with both ends high and the middle sunken, and the sound it made was not pleasant, not loud, not crisp, and had a dull "tapping" tone.

Feng Ercheng's clapper is just old.He said to himself: "What's the use of this clapper? Hitting this clapper is like hitting an old cow." Despite what he said, he still beat the bangzi. The wheat on the grinding eyes was gone, so he went to add some.The wheat flour that leaked from the mill filled the millboard, and he went over to sweep it.The donkey's blindfold was loose, so he tightened it.If the wheat flour was too much, it was time to go to the windmill, so he filled the windmill, turned the big hand wheel of the windmill, and blew it up, blowing all the wheat husks out of the back of the windmill.That windmill is very big, as big as an elephant.Especially when the hand wheel was cranked, there was a whirring sound, and wheat husks sprayed out from the hole mixed with cold wind.This windmill is very beautiful when it is shaken, and it sounds very good at the same time.But the windmill doesn't blow very often, only once a day or two.

Apart from this little work, Feng Erchengzi is mostly standing on the rack, leaning forward, stepping on his left foot and stepping on his right foot, the bottom of the rack covers the bed, the force is so great that even The ground was shaking, similar to the time it took to lay the foundation for a new house. It was heavy and stuffy, making people feel like they were going to sleep. All the equipment in the mill has been mentioned, but there is one thing that has not been mentioned, and that is Feng Erchengzi's small kang.There is nothing good to record about that little kang.In short, the mill is simple, silent, and dull. Look at the little donkey with its two pointed ears. It seems that it doesn't eat grass or drink water. It only knows how to grind. Feng Erchengzi saw the little donkey's two erect ears at a glance, and then saw the mouse running out from under the wall. Those eyes were like two small oil lamps.I can't see anything else, it's still the little donkey's ears. So he had to beat the clapper, starting at noon, and playing all night. The flowers and birds fell asleep, and the sun went back.The earth became cooler.The hot air coming in from the back garden is cool, the wind is no longer blowing, and the trees are no longer shaking. The chirping of insects outside the window, the night barking of dogs in the distance, mixed with Feng Erchengzi's clapper, like three musical instruments. The small oil lamp in the mill was burning (the small lamp was carved in the middle of the wall, like the ever-burning lamp standing in an ancient tomb), as if the wind was blowing on it.The mill had only one window, and it was covered with cucumbers, so that the window could not be seen through.But where does the wind come from?The little donkey was also snorting its nose and shaking its fur, as if the little donkey had also caught a cold. Every day is like this: when the east is about to dawn, the morning dew comes down first, and with the morning dew comes a gloomy cold air, which presses heavily on the ground like white smoke. When it fell on the roof tiles, the roof tiles changed from light gray to dark gray. When it fell on the hut, the grass that was originally light yellow turned dark yellow.Because the dew made them wet, they absorbed the dew. Only when it falls on flowers, grass, and leaves, the dewdrops will remain unchanged, and they will gather from small to large.There are big dewdrops on the big leaves, and small dewdrops on the small leaves. The tassels of corn are covered with frost and fluffy. The center of the pumpkin flower holds a large crystal ball. Sword grass is a kind of thin and long weed. This weed can't withstand too much dew, so it has a little bit of small grains all over it. When the sun comes out, the shiny back garden is like being sprinkled with silver water yesterday. Feng Erchengzi looked at the lamp bowl on the wall, and there was a big red and orange flower on the wick.He reached out to touch the cucumber growing on the window sill, the cucumber was the same as washed. He knew it was almost daybreak and the dew had come down. At this time, it was the time when people were sleeping soundly, and Feng Erchengzi seemed to be more radiant.His clapper was even louder, he hit it desperately, and he used all his strength to make the clapper ring like beans bursting. Nay, the mill sang, and he yelled loudly.It seems that he is following the folklore, and he has recruited ghosts.He deliberately wanted to startle people from far and near, but he actually started fighting, he didn't interrupt the clapper, as if he didn't want to stop. It rained one day. It rained heavily, several frogs jumped into the mill, and some moths kept jumping on the small oil lamp. After a few times, their wings were burnt, and they fell into the oil bowl and drowned. The oil lamp bowl was filled to the brim, so the oil lamp gradually dimmed, and the little donkey's ears could hardly be seen clearly. Feng Erchengzi wanted to add some lamp oil, but the lamp oil was in the upper room, in the owner's room. He opened the door and saw that the rain was really heavy, like pouring, and the upper room probably fell asleep, the light was not very bright, it was just faint.Maybe it's because of the rain and the windshield, that's why it's so dark. —Ten steps and eight steps ran over, took the lamp oil and ran back. ——Feng Erchengzi thought. But the rain was too heavy, and the clothes had to be wet; it didn't matter if the clothes were wet, but it didn't matter when the shoes were wet. He opened the door and looked at it several times, but he also closed the door and didn't run over. But the lamp on the wall was about to go out again and again, and the little donkey's ears could hardly be seen.He opened the door and looked at the upper room. The lights in the upper room were off, and there was nothing to be seen in the yard, only Mrs. Zhao's room next door was still brightly lit, and there were giggles in the window. The one who laughed was Mrs. Zhao's daughter.Feng Erchengzi didn't know why his heart was so restless, he quickly closed the door, hurried to turn on the lamp bowl, hurried to the grinder, and began to impress Si Luo in a panic.But anyway, the laughter in the window seemed to be still there. Feng Erchengzi hit the clapper, after a few hits, he would stop naturally, as if he was very willing to hear that laughter again. ——This is strange, how come there are people living there on the first day. —he thought to himself. The next morning, the rain cleared up. When Feng Erchengzi was drying his drenched shoes in the yard, he accidentally looked up and saw Mrs. Zhao's daughter, who stood opposite him. Feng Erchengzi had never been close to a woman before, so he quickly lowered his head. The neighbor's daughter came from the well, carrying a bucket full of water, and walked very slowly.Feng Erchengzi raised his head only after she had completely passed by. With her big sunflower-like eyes and her half-smile, Feng Erchengzi's heart beats for no reason when he thinks about it. One day, Feng Erchengzi used a large basin to wash his own clothes in the yard. While washing, the large basin slipped from the wooden bench and broke. Mrs. Zhao was also sewing under the window, and quickly called her daughter to bring out her big basin and lend it to him. When Feng Erchengzi took the big basin, he didn't even look at Ms. Zhao, and didn't even dare to raise her head, but Ms. Zhao's eyes were as big as sunflowers, and he imagined them more clearly than he saw them.So his hand seemed to be shaking and he took the big basin over.He fetched some water again, not a lot of water, but only a large pot bottom. The clothes were not washed in a daze, so he hung them up to dry. After that, he didn't see Ms. Zhao very often, but he felt as if he saw her every day.Especially late at night, he often heard the laughter next door. One day, he played clapper all night.At dawn, his whole body was sore.He untied the little donkey and dragged it into the damp yard where the morning dew had fallen, watched the little donkey roll a few times, and then tied the little donkey to a trough to graze.It was time for him to sleep too. As soon as he lay down, he heard the laughter of the girl next door, and he quickly grabbed the edge of the quilt to cover his ears. But that laugh is still laughing. He turned over and turned his back toward the wall, but he still couldn't sleep. He had lived next to that girl for more than two years, and it seemed that he had heard her laugh only recently. He himself was also surprised. Although the laughter stopped over there, there were other sounds: the sound of washing the pot, chopping firewood and making a fire, all of which could be heard clearly.Then, he could feel the sound of breakfast. On this day, he really couldn't sleep. He lay there feeling very sad. He thought about his life in the past two years... His mother came to see him once when he first came here.Bring him a basket of yellow rice and bean buns from the countryside.Before leaving, the mother shed tears and said: "My child, you should do things well for the master outside, and the master will not treat you wrong... Your old lady has not been strong in the past two years. If someone fails to come, just let her Your brother can just bury the old lady. Death is like a lamp going out, so what can you do even if you run home!... But you must listen to your mother's words. They pull a mill and pull a lot of wheat a day. Remember what my mother said..." At that time, Feng Erchengzi was already thirty-six years old, he was still very young, and wept after hearing that.He raised his head to look at his mother, who was indeed very thin and had a bad cough. "Don't be so stupid. If your old lady said so, she would really leave you. You and your brother are both in their thirties and haven't married yet. Your old lady still wants to see you..." Feng Erchengzi blushed for a while when he thought of the word "becoming a family". The mother went back to the country and soon died. He didn't do what his mother said, he went back, and he and his brother personally delivered the funeral. It was the red pepper season in August. When I came back from the funeral, I picked a lot of red peppers along the way and fried them to eat. When I think about it later, I can't think of anything.Lamo's little donkey is still the original little donkey. The mill hadn't changed at all, and the windmill was just as it had been when he first came, standing there in the dark without changing its direction.As soon as the sieve is stepped on, it makes a "dong dong" sound.He glanced at the sieve, as if it was ringing even if he didn't step on it. Everything is used to it, everything is the same as before.After much deliberation, nothing has changed, nothing more, nothing less.How did you live these two years?He didn't know it himself, as if he had never lived.He stretched out his hand to see that there was no change; he pinched the knuckles of his fingers, and the knuckles were still the same, sharp and protruding. He went back to the time when he was still young, frying small fish on the beach, taking a bath in the river with his clothes off; he built a snowman in winter, made eyes for the snowman with mung beans, and lips with red beans; it rained In bad weather, when my mother called, I ran into the puddle... Because of this, my mother couldn't hit him. After thinking about it again, he couldn't think of anything. At this time, he was about to fall asleep in a daze. Just when he was about to fall asleep, he was awakened again, which happened several times.Maybe it was a mouse under the kang, maybe it was someone talking in the yard. But every time he opened his eyes, he felt that the neighbor's daughter had alarmed him.He blushed shyly several times in the dream. From then on, when he went to sleep in the morning, he first stood in the center of the ground and listened to see if there was any sound from the neighbor. If there was a sound, he would go into the yard and brush the little donkey with a horse brush. But by coincidence, the girl walked around the yard early in the morning, sometimes she came out to fetch a bundle of firewood, and sometimes she came out to pour a ladle of water.In short, since then, he and her seem to see each other every day. On the fifteenth day of the eighth month, Feng Erchengzi was wearing brand new clothes, and just after getting his hair cut, he went to the room and yelled, "Drink, drink..." Because the festival is a meal with the host at the same table, there are everything from bacon to preserved eggs.Among them, the best one to go with wine is the cold vermicelli. There is a bunch of shredded cucumber inside and outside the vermicelli, and chili oil is sprinkled on it. Feng Erchengzi quit after drinking enough wine. He didn't even eat. He planned to go to the mill to sleep. I don't drink alcohol all the year round, and I feel a little dizzy after drinking.He walked out of the upper room and ran into Mrs. Zhao in the yard. She was about to go to a relative's house with a bag of moon cakes in her hand.As soon as she saw Feng Erchengzi, she quickly called to her daughter and said, "Hurry up and give Lao Feng some mooncakes. It's the holidays, you don't have to be polite, you are running errands outside." After finishing speaking, Mrs. Zhao left. Feng Erchengzi took the mooncake in his hand, and he saw that the girl was wearing new clothes all over her body, and her face was covered with rouge and face powder.Because he was afraid of embarrassment, he wanted to say thank you but didn't say it, so he turned and went into the mill. The mill was more deserted than usual, and the donkey didn't pull the mill. A yellow tablet was placed on the millstone, which said "the seat of the White Tiger God". Two red candles were lit and three sticks of incense were burning. Feng Erchengzi finished eating the mooncakes in a daze, and stood leaning against the rack, looking at the garden outside the window. He looked out without thinking, and at this moment there was a woman's laughter again, and this laughter was familiar, but he didn't know where it came from, the back garden or the next door? As soon as he turned around, he saw the neighbor's daughter standing in the wide open door. Her mouth is red, her eyes are black, and her whole body is glowing and attractive. He was afraid, and lowered his head, not daring to look again. The girl said to herself, "The White Tiger God is still enshrined here!" As she spoke, one of her little companions greeted her and ran away. Feng Erchengzi almost fainted, he insisted on himself, he opened his eyes wide, and looked around to see if he was dreaming. This is not a dream, the donkey is standing in the yard grazing, and the noise of fist punching in the upper room has not yet finished drinking.He stood outside the mill and looked into the distance.Some of the houses in the distance are in the woods, and some are showing their corners in the white clouds, while the nearby houses, even those who live in the same courtyard, are peacefully exuding an invisible joy during the festival, wandering about. An inaudible laugh. But Feng Erchengzi looked at everything as empty.The gossamer of the lonely autumn sky flew all over his face, caught his nose, and wrapped around his hair.He rubbed the hairspring with his hands and broke it, but he still looked forward. His eyes were filled with shining tears, and a strange sadness rose in his heart. He envied the lively sparrows dancing around him, and he hated the leisurely cooing pigeons on the ridge. His feelings were as feeble as a paralyzed candle.He thought to himself: Why do you call the pigeon?It makes people panic!Can't you stop calling?Gossamer, why do you circle my face?How hateful you are! Suddenly, he heard the girl's laughter again. And like lightning, the girl came to him, ran past him, and disappeared without a trace in the blink of an eye. Feng Erchengzi seemed to be swept up in a whirlwind, he was swept up in a daze for a long time, and then the whirlwind abandoned him.Whirlwind ran away by himself, and he was still standing outside the mill. From then on, poor Feng Erchengzi suffered from lovesickness, his face was pale, his eye circles were purple, he didn't want to eat tea, he couldn't swallow food, and he only thought about the girl next door. Readers, when you read this, you must think that the miller in the mill must have something to do with the neighbor's daughter.Actually not.Then came another widow. There is such a humble person in the world, he loves her, but he is afraid that his status is too low, and he is afraid of destroying her.He secretly entrusted her with a kind of thought, as if he believed in a religion.The neighbor's daughter didn't even know there was such a thing. Soon, the neighbor's daughter came to be a matchmaker, and soon the daughter got married. On the day when the in-laws came to marry their new daughter-in-law, they carried the sedan chair, played gongs and drums, and blew trumpets, just outside the window of the mill. Feng Erchengzi put his head on the clapper, closed his eyes, and remained motionless. The girl over there wore bright red clothes, put on rouge powder, and held copper coins in her hands, and was carried into a sedan chair.There was a burst of firecrackers, a burst of gong beating, and the sedan chair was lifted up to leave. After walking a long, long way, out of the street, only Si Sila could hear the sound of the gong beating. Feng Erchengzi still didn't raise his head. He didn't raise his head until the sedan chair had walked a few miles away and even the barking of the dog that had been awakened by the wedding had calmed down. The little donkey was blindfolded and quietly pulling the empty mill round and round. He looked at the mill and saw that there was no wheat at all, and the white flour flowed all over the ground. After the daughter got married, Feng Erchengzi often chatted with Mrs. Zhao, and sometimes sat in the old lady's room.He didn't know why he always treated the old lady as a close relative, and when they met in the morning and evening, they always smiled at each other. That's fine, he felt that it would be more casual for the daughter to marry. But not long after that, Mrs. Zhao was about to move, to her daughter's house. Feng Erchengzi helped to pack things.As he was packing, he saw a tiny bone thimble in the sewing basket.He thought: This is not hers?The girl came to him lively again. He saw several things, all of which belonged to the girl.The embroidered apron was rolled up in the door of the small cabinet, and a bunch of tied red-headed rope was washed clean and wrapped in a piece of paper.He found this paper bag among many messy things. He opened it and asked Mrs. Zhao, where should this rope be placed?The old lady said, "Put it in the little hair comb box, so I can take it to her." Feng Erchengzi opened the small hair comb box, and he saw several hair pins and a fake burnt sapphire ring still inside.He smelled the aroma of combing oil.He thought it must belong to the girl, and he closed the comb box. He helped the old lady pack the things, loaded them into the cart, and led the big black mule pulling the cart to see her off for a ride. When it was sent to the suburbs, the cauliflowers were all in bloom, and the fragrance was wafting all over the field.The old lady urged him to come back, and he said he would send him another ride.He seemed to be singing to the wilderness, his chest was open like a bird, he was facing the front, striding forward, as if he would never come back once he was gone. But when Feng Erchengzi came back, the sun was still at noon.Although it is autumn, it is not as bright as summer, but there are fragrances everywhere.The sorghum is ripe, the soybean seedlings are yellow, and the field is still red and green.Feng Erchengzi walked back along the original road.After walking for a while, he turned around and looked towards the distance where Mrs. Zhao was walking.But there was not even a shadow to be seen.The blue sky is so condensed that it doesn't even have any wrinkles, it looks like it was cut out of blue paper. He used all his eyesight to explore whether there are still a little black spots on the blue sky. If there is still a black spot, it is Mrs. Zhao's car.But there wasn't even a black spot, there really wasn't any, there was only a bright white road, climbing towards the blue sky, and at the end of the blue sky, there was only a narrow road left. Mrs. Zhao didn't make an appointment with her on when she would be able to see her again, nor did she make an appointment with her.He wanted to run along the main road, to the front of Mrs. Zhao's car, and grab the big black mule. He wanted to say to her, "Don't forget your neighbor, come and see me once when you're in town." But there was no trace of the car at all, and it was impossible to catch up with it. He turned around and continued on his way back. He felt that the way back was many times farther than the way he had gone. He didn't know why sending off Mrs. Zhao this time was more sad than sending off his own mother.He thought: Why do people have to be separated when they are alive?Since we are separated forever, why bother to know each other in the first place!Who created this opportunity among people?Now that the opportunity was created, who canceled the opportunity? As he walked, his feet became heavier and his heart became more empty, so he sat down in a shaded place. He looked around in all directions, and all he saw were people working and living, the drivers driving the carts, the ones pulling the horses, and the sorghum harvesters, all sweating profusely.Others had their hands punctured by sorghum stalks, or their feet were punctured, and they were still bleeding profusely, but they continued to cut.He took a look, but he couldn't understand what it was all about; he didn't understand what it was all for.He thought: Those of you who hold your hands and step on your feet, in the end, you have nothing.You have no mother, your father died early, when you should marry, you can’t marry what you want; when you are old, you can’t see your children grow up, and you will die of exhaustion first. Feng Erchengzi saw that the soles of his shoes had fallen off, so he took off his shoes and carried them by hand, stood up and walked barefoot.The more he walked, the more strange it became. Originally, he was walking back, but his heart flew farther and farther away.Where exactly it flew to, he himself was not sure.In short, the further he walked back, the more empty he felt.On the way, he met some people pushing carts and carrying loads, and he looked at them with strange eyes: You don’t know anything, you only know that you have been working as cattle and horses for your wives and children all your life. You yourselves don't know yet.You can't eat what you want to eat, and you can't put on what you want to wear. Why are you living so vigorously! He saw some bean curd sellers with a white cloth tent, and several people were eating under the tent.Some were vying to add more soy sauce, but the tofu nao seller just added a few grains of salt to him.The seller of tofu nao said that soy sauce is too expensive, and they will lose money if they add more.So we quarreled over some soy sauce.Feng Erchengzi heard them yelling from afar.He squinted at the tofu nao seller: you stingy man, why are you so harsh?You are all for your wife and children!You want to live this life for nothing, you live frugally, and you are not a poor ghost in the end! Feng Erchengzi saw almost exactly this kind of people along the way. He criticized them with all kinds of eyes. He walked for a while, then turned around to look into the distance, and stood there waiting for a while, as if something in the distance would fly towards him automatically, and it seemed that someone in the distance was calling him.He stopped like this several times, as if he were listening with his ear bent.But nothing but the chirping of sparrows flew over his head. He turned around and walked back, but he walked very slowly, like walking in Jing Zhen's grass.It was as if he took a step and was held back by Jing Zhen once. At last he lost all strength, body and mind.He found a grove, where he fell on the ground and cried for a pipe of cigarettes.His tears fell all over the tree roots. He thought back to the girl in her flowered apron, the way she walked happily all over.When he thought about when the girl moved here, he didn't even remember the slightest impression, and he regretted why he didn't find her earlier.Her eyes had seen him two or three times. Although he didn't dare to look directly at her, he could feel that those eyes were dark and filled with infinite affection.He thought of how big his eyes were when he stood opposite her that morning!That gaze came straight to him.When he thought of this, he wished he could stand up and rush over.But now it's all over, it's gone so far without a sound, and there is no trace left, and it will never come back. Where would he go in such a vast world?Whoever makes people like this, brings life down, and doesn't give him a way, just ignore him. At dusk, he grabbed two handfuls of dirt from the ground, stood up groggy, and still had to walk his way back. He seemed to have lost his soul, and returned to the mill. Look at the brackets standing there, the millstones are standing there, nothing has changed.The wind blowing is still very cool.The wheat husk blown from the windmill was still in the big basket. He grabbed a handful and rubbed it on the palm of his hand. It was all the wheat that was ground yesterday, and it hadn’t changed at all from yesterday and today.He took a brush and brushed the grinding disc, and the remaining wheat flour gave off a burst of white smoke.It's all the same as yesterday, nothing has changed.The mouse's eyes were still running around very brightly.The back garden was as quiet as before, without any sound.In the upper room, the host's wife hugged her grandson and talked to the neighbors, and the talk was still as lively as usual.The people carrying the water came and went by the well, chatting and laughing while running back and forth with strides, and the turning cart twisting the well rope rattled openly.Everything is happy and interesting.Even the little donkey standing by the trough, seeing Feng Erchengzi coming back, opened his mouth wide and barked a few times as if to welcome him.Feng Erchengzi went up to touch the little donkey's ears, then took some grass from the straw bag and scattered it in the trough, and then led the little donkey to the well to drink water. He was going to work again, and still put the donkey on the mill, but he himself was willing to muster up the courage to hit the clapper.But he couldn't do it, he seemed to have lost something, as if someone had snatched something from him. He didn't pull the grinder, he went to the street and wandered around in the middle of the night. After the second watch, the people on the street thinned out, and they all went home to sleep. He passed by the old Wang who made a living by sewing clothes, and seeing that her lamp was still on, he thought it would be good to go in and have a rest. Lao Wang is a widow in her thirties. Because of the worries of life, her hair is half gray. When she heard that it was Feng Erchengzi calling for the door, she put down her needlework and opened the door for him. Before he sat down, she took out Feng Erchengzi's sewn blue single shirt, and said: "I want to send it to you these two days, because I have a lot of work and a lot of work in these two days." Make one, earn a few more, and let you get it yourself..." She looked up to see how cold Feng Erchengzi's face was, and she hurriedly asked, "Did you come from the street? Where did you come from?" While talking, let Feng Erchengzi sit down. He refused to sit down and planned to leave immediately, but Old Wang said, "What's the matter? People who are out on errands should be at ease." Feng Erchengzi still didn't make a sound. Old Wang ran out to buy some sesame seed cakes for Feng Erchengzi, the sesame seed cakes were still crispy and hot, and he also bought sauced meat.When Lao Wang had money in his hand, he often drank a little wine by himself, and today he also bought wine. After drinking until the middle of the night, Widow Wang said: "This is how people live. Those who have children are busy with their children, and those with wives are busy with their wives. Anyway, they will be cattle and horses all their lives. When you are young, who is not like a small tree?" , looking forward to growing up, as if there is a lot of gold waiting in front of me. But within a few years, my physical strength was exhausted, and my hair was black and white..." She poured him another glass of wine. When she was pouring wine, Feng Erchengzi saw that her hands were full of tendons, as old as marijuana leaves. But what she said, he thought it was right, so he raised the cup of wine and drank it. Feng Erchengzi also told her his recent mood.He said that he was irritable about everything and had no patience for anything.What he said, she understood very well, and following his words, she made the same comments as his. After drinking the third watch, it's time for Feng Erchengzi to go back.He stood up and shook his front, his emotions became much calmer, and he became much clearer, as if seeing the sun again after the rain, he also picked up the clothes that Old Wang was sewing and had a look .问她一件夹袄的手工多少钱。 老王说：“那好说，那好说，有夹袄尽管拿来做吧。” 说着，她就拿起一个烧饼，把剩下的酱肉通通夹在烧饼里，让冯二成子带着：“过了半夜，酒要往上返的，吃下去压一压酒。” 冯二成子百般的没有要，开了门，出来了，满天都是星光；中秋以后的风，也有些凉了。 “是个月黑头夜，可怎么走！我这儿也没有灯笼……” 冯二成子说：“不要，不要！”就走出来了。 在这时，有一条狗往屋里钻，老王骂着那狗：“还没有到冬天，你就怕冷了，你就往屋里钻！” 因为是夜深了的缘故，这声音很响。 冯二成子看一看附近的人家都睡了。王寡妇也在他的背后闩上了门，适才从门口流出来的那道灯光，在闩门的声音里边，又被收了回去。 冯二成子一边看着天空的北斗星，一边来到了小土坡前。那小土坡上长着不少野草，脚踏在上边，绒绒乎乎的。于是他蹲了双腿，试着用指尖搔一搔，是否这地方可以坐一下。 他坐在那里非常宁静，前前后后的事情，他都忘得干干净净，他心里边没有什么骚扰，什么也没有想，好象什么也想不起来了。晌午他送赵老太太走的那回事，似乎是多少年前的事情。现在他觉得人间并没有许多人，所以彼此没有什么妨害，他的心境自由得多了，也宽舒得多了，任着夜风吹着他的衣襟和裤脚。 他看一看远近的人家，差不多都睡觉了，尤其是老王的那一排房子，通通睡了，只有王寡妇的窗子还透着灯光。他看了一会，他又把眼睛转到另外的方向去，有的透着灯光的窗子，眼睛看着看着，窗子忽然就黑了一个，忽然又黑了一个。屋子灭掉了灯，竟好象沉到深渊里边去的样子，立刻消灭了。 而老王的窗子仍旧是亮的，她的四周都黑了，都不存在了，那就更显得她单独的停在那里。 “她还没有睡呢！”他想。 她怎么还不睡？他似乎这样想了一下。是否他还要回到她那边去，他心里很犹疑。 等他不自觉的又回到老王的窗下时，他终于敲了她的门。里边应着的声音并没有惊奇，开了门让他进去。 这夜，冯二成子就在王寡妇家里结了婚了。 他并不象世界上所有的人结婚那样：也不跳舞，也不招待宾客；也不到礼拜堂去。而也并不象邻家姑娘那样打着铜锣，敲着大鼓。但是他们庄严得很，因为百感交集，彼此哭了一遍。 第二年夏天，后花园里的花草又是那么热闹，倭瓜淘气地爬上了树了，向日葵开了大花，惹得蜂子成群地闹着，大菽茨、爬山虎、马蛇菜、胭粉豆，样样都开了花。耀眼的耀眼，散着香气的散着香气。年年爬到磨房窗棂上来的黄瓜，今年又照样的爬上来了；年年结果子的，今年又照样的结了果子。 惟有墙上的狗尾草比去年更为茂盛，因为今年雨水多而风少。 园子里虽然是花草鲜艳，而很少有人到园子里来，是依然如故。 偶然园主的小孙女跑进来折一朵大菽茨花，听到屋里有人喊着：“小春，小春……” 她转身就跑回屋去，而后把门又轻轻的闩上了。 算起来就要一年了，赵老太太的女儿就是从这靠着花园的厢房出嫁的。 在街上，冯二成子碰到那出嫁的女儿一次，她的怀里抱着一个小孩。 可是冯二成子也有了小孩了。磨房里拉起了一张白布帘子来，帘子后边就藏着出生不久的婴孩和孩子的妈妈。 又过了两年，孩子的妈妈死了。 冯二成子坐在罗架上打筛罗时，就把孩子骑在梆子上。夏昼十分热了，冯二成子把头垂在孩子的腿上，打着瞌睡。 不久，那孩子也死了。 后花园里经过了几度繁华，经过了几次凋零，但那大菽茨花它好象世世代代要存在下去的样子，经冬复历春，年年照样的在园子里边开着。 园主人把后花园里的房子都翻了新了，只有这磨房连动也没动，说是磨房用不着好房子的，好房子也让筛罗“咚咚”的震坏了。 所以磨房的屋瓦，为着风吹，为着雨淋，一排一排的都脱了节。每刮一次大风，屋瓦就要随着风在半天空里飞走了几块。 夏昼，冯二成子伏在梆子上，每每要打瞌睡。他瞌睡醒来时，昏昏庸庸的他看见眼前跳跃着无数条光线，他揉一揉眼睛，再仔细看一看，原来是房顶露了天了。 以后两年三年，不知多少年，他仍旧在那磨房里平平静静地活着。 后花园的园主也老死了，后花园也拍卖了。这拍卖只不过给冯二成子换了个主人。这个主人并不是个老头，而是个年轻的、爱漂亮、爱说话的，常常穿了很干净的衣裳来磨房的窗外，看那磨倌怎样打他的筛罗，怎样摇他的风车。 一九四○年四月（原载香港1940年4月10日至25日《大公报》及《学生界》）