Chapter 32 a fool's love (1)

April 6, 2000. I am nineteen years old this year and will be twenty years old next year. -- My parents and younger brother all moved to the United States, and I was the only one left in the family alone in Korea.There is only one reason why I couldn't let go of this land and didn't move to the United States with my parents, and that was a bastard named "Han Zhening". ┬┬Today, as usual, I was walking alone on the way to school, and the school gate was already waving to me not far away. "Hey, you're going to be late, why don't you run?" a voice yelled at me.

"Ah! I see, don't close the door! ┬^┬" I panicked and shouted at the school gate, and started to quicken my pace. == That guy standing next to the almost completely closed school gate and looking at me with a smile is the reason I've been stuck in Korea not wanting to leave... "We are friends! Zhe Ning! Don't close the door! --^" I hugged the schoolbag in my hand and shouted with all my might, not daring to slow down. "As a student in charge of school discipline, this is what I should do!" Saying that, the smiling guy was about to close the school gate completely.

"I made kimbap and came to school today. ^o^" I hurriedly shook the bento box in my hand. Creak~!The slamming of the door stopped. == "Hush, shush! Be quiet, come in quickly!!" Zhe Ning looked around miserably, and then beckoned to me. "Thank you very much.—" My eyes narrowed with a smile. Bypassing the juniors who were punished by Han Zhening to do push-ups for being late, I ran lightly to the classroom. Yes, this guy is my good friend.Due to the close relationship between the two parents, I have known him since I was nine years old. All the trivial things about him, no matter what I should know or what I should not know, I know it anyway.Also, my younger brother Masamune and his younger sister Chiho have been classmates since kindergarten, and they have always been very good friends.If there's anything wrong with us... it's that as he's gotten older and he's grown taller, he's become more manly and sometimes I don't know how to stay close to him . ┬^┬

"Huh...Li Zhengyin...you finally arrived in the classroom safely~~." When my friend saw me rushing into the classroom, he immediately made a V sign at me. "==Don't mention it, if I hadn't been escorted by kimbap today, I would still have to do push-ups." I listlessly put the lunch box on the table and dropped the deadly heavy schoolbag. "What's the matter? Is the dean guarding the school gate?" My friend hurriedly approached my table. "What dean, that bastard Han Zhening is guarding the school gate." I was so angry when I mentioned him, and even blackmailed my friends, that guy is really not human.

"Ah, by the way, a friend of mine from a girl's high school met Zhening last time at the city's middle school student assembly. She kept begging me to introduce her to her. Go and talk to Zhening for me! ┬^┬" I didn't expect that guy's charm to spread to other middle schools, everyone was deceived by his appearance!I beat my chest. "If you want to talk about it yourself~!" I don't bother to care about other people's affairs. I have always been a typical example of "I don't care about myself and hang on to it". "That guy only has you and Xu Renya in his eyes, and he doesn't pay attention to other girls at all. If I go to tell him, I'm sure I'll touch his nose. You should tell me for me!-,.-" Friends begged me.

Renya is the girl Zhe Ning has always liked since the first year of high school.She is a girl who is completely different from us. Not only is she good at homework, she has a pretty face, and her family background is also good. ==Renya looks as beautiful as a doll, with snow-white skin, and as a rich daughter, she learned to play the piano and violin since she was a child. The most rare thing is that her grades are also very good, unlike ordinary daughters who are all embroidery A pillow, at best, can only be a beautiful vase. "Please remember clearly, in Zhe Ning's eyes, only Renya is a girl, and I'm just his friend. And he likes Renya so much, he won't accept other girls if you introduce him."

It's not that I'm underestimating myself, but it's the fact that I've never appeared as a woman in his eyes.It's not that I'm masculine, it's just... you know?It’s just that sometimes two people have known each other for so long that everyone has already forgotten each other’s gender. Although I haven’t forgotten his gender, I believe he has forgotten mine. "Huh... I hate it, what should I do, ┬^┬ what should I do!" "What should I do? Zhe Ning is not the only boy. You can just pick a male student from our class and introduce him to your friend?" so chic.

"I think it's better to forget it. ┬^┬My friend said that she doesn't want anyone except Zhening. It's so annoying! ┬┬" "How about An Xun?" I recommended a four-eyed frog in the class. "==No, you'd better keep it for yourself!" The friend had a thankful and insensitive expression. "——..." The boring class time passed like this, and not long after, the lunch bell rang like crazy, almost at the same time, the front door of our classroom was pushed open by someone, and who else was there besides him? . "^o^Lunch, my lunch, my lovely lunch, my delicious kimbap." ^o^Zhe Ningtian ran towards me happily.

"I see, shut your mouth!"--^ "Hey, I don't want to eat without sesame leaves." Zhe Ning picked pickily in my lunch box. "You want to die! -- You're still picking and choosing. Don't eat it." I snatched the lunch box back and picked one up to put it in my mouth. "No... I want..." Zhe Ning actually refused to let go of one in my hand, stretched out her mouth and bit it, almost biting off my fingers too. -,.- Seeing Zhe Ning's proud look in front of my eyes, I glared at him angrily. Whoops, whoops!Zhe Ning gulped down a few gimbaps, then picked up a few and ran to the first group. I knew who this guy was targeting. ==

"Renya! Try this." Zhe Ning said in a soft voice that was completely different from mine. Ren Ya, who was eating with chopsticks, looked up from her bento in surprise, "What is this?" "Eat it, it tastes good! ^^" Zhe Ning put the kimbap in Renya's bento. "Ah! Thank you, I will eat it. ^^" Ren Ya politely thanked Zhening. Zhe Ning ran back to me happily. "Who asked you to take my kimbap as a favor?－,.－" "If you eat all of these by yourself, you will surely turn into a pig." Zhe Ning pinched her nose and playfully made a pig face at me.

"You almost ate my gimbap by yourself, ┬┬" I cried with a mournful face, "I have no chance to become a pig, you damn guy, a guy who killed a thousand knives!" I refused to forgive cursed.Just then, the back door opened and my friend Jussy entered. "Zhengyin! Let's smoke 'after-dinner cigarettes'." Zhuqian is a loyal supporter of "a cigarette after a meal is better than a living god". "Okay, wait for me for a while, Zhening, are you going too?" Just as I didn't want to see Zhening and Ren Ya Qingqing, I also asked Zhening by the way. "I told you not to smoke." Zhe Ning approached me and frowned in disgust. "Don't be silly, when did you start to mess with my heart?" I pushed him away, pretending to be free and easy, but in fact my heart was pounding because of Zhening's sudden approach. "I told you not to smoke..." "Hurry up and deliver kimbap to your Xu Renya!" Before he finished speaking, I deliberately said in a mocking tone. "Idiot!" The guy stood up angrily from his position, then turned and left our classroom.But even in such an angry situation, he will never forget to go out with my bento. I know this guy too well. －－^ "What's wrong with him?" Zhuqian looked at Zhening who went out strangely. "He seems to have told me not to smoke before. Oh~! I don't know, who knows why he is crazy!" I waved my hand impatiently, not wanting that guy to occupy my mind more. "He doesn't like you, does he?" Zhu Qian shouted as if she had discovered some new land. "What are you talking about, you also know that Xu Renya has been his favorite for three years!" Am I speaking too loudly?Xu Renya glanced at us quietly. "Are you talking about that girl? Hey, don't talk stupidly." Li Zhuqian glanced at Renya, then patted me on the shoulder and said carelessly. "Forget it, let's not talk about this anymore. Do you know that your current appearance is annoying?" I don't know why, and suddenly said harsh words to my good friend without mercy.I really don't want to discuss who Zhe Ning likes. This seems to be exposing the scars in my heart that I tried my best to cover up, forcing me to admit the reality. "You say I'm annoying? You say I'm annoying? Woooo~! Woooo~!┬┬" Li Zhuxi covered her face and cried exaggeratedly. "Okay, okay, don't cry, Zhuqian, you are our cutest and kindest child. －^ um~, um~! Let's go, let's go, let's go to smoke." Said a good friend The wind is the wind, and the rain is the rain", so I had to coax her like a child. "Woo~oooo! ┬^┬" Zhuqian gave me a miserable look while crying. We finally came to our exclusive smoking room - the roof of the teaching building. "Zhuxi, where have all the other guys gone?" Normally the smoking room was full of people, why didn't a single acquaintance see it today. "They're still eating. The dean asked them to clean up, and didn't even give them time to eat." "The dean's scoundrel, no matter what, he should let people eat first. After eating, he has the strength to work, right..." I took a deep puff on my cigarette and scolded the inhuman fellow of the dean. "Hey, Li Zhengyin!" Zhuxi, who was swallowing a cloud, interrupted me suddenly and seriously. "What?" I replied lazily. "I told you before, you really look like Xu Renya." Zhuqian said sincerely. "——She is much better than me." I smoked a cigarette and didn't care. "You try to grow your hair long. I think you are more beautiful than her. Of course, the premise is that you wash your face well and comb your hair well every day.><" Zhuqian looked me up and down unflatteringly. Raunchy look. "Don't say any more, beauty is born, why do you need to dress up so much, if someone is better than me, he is better than me." I always emphasize that nature is beauty, so I don't dress up like ordinary high school girls. "No, I said so!><" Zhuqian seemed more anxious than me, "You also have long hair, try putting on makeup!" Creak~!The door to the roof opened again. It turned out that there were a few male students who came up, and they seemed to be juniors who had just entered school this year, and they might have hidden here to smoke. OO Mygod!These juniors are really good. They need to have good looks and good figures. It seems that there are quite a few characters in the first grade this time!Alas~!If only I were a year younger... -;- "Hey, Zhengyin, who are they? -O-" Zhuqian was obviously agitated, and asked me treacherously. "It seems to be a first-year student. ┬^┬" I searched in my mind. "Hey, look at that one, you can see it clearly, the tallest one!" Zhuqian shouted excitedly, tugging at my clothes. "You mean the one with the cigarette?" "Ok." "It's pretty good looking, it makes people feel bright, but it seems to be very crazy. ┬^┬" At first glance, he is a person who is not easy to mess with, I added in my heart. "He's so handsome. Hey, why don't you try chasing him.><" I think Zhuqian wanted to go by herself, but she was not brave enough, so she encouraged me. "Are you crazy? He's a schoolboy two years younger than us! Please be more sensible." "Okay, I'll listen to you," Jussy said reluctantly, pouted, "but I'm going to call the tallest guy over here so we can take a good look." "Hey, hello! It's you! Come here." Zhu Qian beckoned to the tallest boy. But that junior just stood there, looking Zhu Qian up and down, without the slightest plan to come over. "Hey~! Your senior asked you to come over, but you still don't come? Do you want me to come over to you? -O-" Zhuqian put her hips on her hips, looking like a big sister. "Damn it, why do I always meet some guys who are whimpering and making noise like sparrows, it's so annoying. Xiancheng, let's go. --^" The tall boy turned around impatiently. "What? Oh, let's go." The guy next to the tall boy agreed. Several boys then filed out through the small gate.The arrogant and arrogant boy had a cigarette dangling from his mouth from beginning to end. "-O-hey, hey! Did you hear what I said!" Zhu Qian yelled a few words behind them without giving up. "Give it up, Zhuqian," I kindly advised her, "I think even if you yell out your throat, he won't turn his head back. Look, there is no trace of fear on his face." "Woooo~! Chick~! I really lose face, Zhengyin. ┬┬" Zhuqian hugged me and cried bitterly. "Forget it, don't cry, Zhuxi, let's smoke our own cigarettes!" I patted her on the shoulder to comfort her. "Damn it, I have to smoke this pack of cigarettes today to relieve my hatred." Zhu Qian stared at the cigarette in her hand and said bitterly.Sure enough, the girl spent the entire lunch break killing the poor pack of scapegoats. When I left the school gate after school in the afternoon, I saw a group of third-grade boys headed by Zhe Ning gathered at the school gate without knowing what to do. The students were immediately frightened and did not dare to breathe, and walked cautiously outside the school gate. There were only Zhuqian and I. As if nothing happened, the individual walked out of the school calmly with his head held high.Then Zhening's best friend Cheng Hao saw us, greeted us and said: "Where are you going after school?" "Go home, of course." "Aren't you going out to play today?" "I don't care about playing for a day or two, == today I plan to go home early." Zhen Ning was at the side, but I never dared to look at him. == "Hey, why didn't you ask me?—" Zhuqian interrupted unconvincedly. "You, I bet I'll run into you in the city center later. Hey, what's the matter with you and Zhening? Are you two fighting again?" After saying this, that villain Cheng Hao grabbed Zhening's hand and put it on my shoulder. OO "What are you doing, you still haven't taken your hands away." I jumped away as if being stabbed by a needle. "Zhening also said today that she won't go drinking with us. Sigh~! I think you two should go together. Go, Li Zhuqian, go to karaoke with me." Cheng Hao pushed me away without saying anything. Arrived at Zhening's side. "Hey, Han Zhening! Are you still angry about what happened at noon?" I couldn't hold back anymore, and finally spoke first, and at the same time secretly glanced at Zhening beside me. ——Han Zhening, who had been staring blankly at the front, cast a sideways glance in my direction. -- "What do you mean?" Zhe Ning and I pretended to be stupid. "┬^┬ I will never smoke again, okay, I will never smoke again. I really can't stand you." If Zhe Ning wanted to calm down, I knew that I had to make sacrifices, so I had no choice but to promise to give up one of my hobbies, and finally Still complained unwillingly. ┬^┬ "I told you that you can't stand me." Zhe Ning hit my head hard, a typical tyrant. "Yes, I understand. From now on, what you say is the imperial decree. I will keep them in my heart. Is that okay?" I deliberately exaggerated a British court salute. "Hey, you two have to flirt and go home and fight. Go, go, go back soon.><" Cheng Hao pushed the backs of both of us vigorously while talking.What does this guy think, why does he always like to send me and Zhening together? Does he really think that Zhening and I are a couple? －－^ The narrow streets forced me to stay next to Zhening, and he didn't speak a word all the way, which made me feel chilly.Finally I couldn't bear this dull atmosphere——I whispered anxiously: "Han Zhening, are you still angry?—" "No." Han Zhening still looked indifferent, is this called lifeless?I don't believe in killing it. -- "I said that I will never smoke again, never again." I emphasized my promise. "Back and then, do you think I will still believe your promise? Every time you say it nicely, have you ever really done it? ┬^┬" "Understood, this time I really made up my mind not to smoke again." I suddenly found a suspicious target, my mind was immediately attracted to it, and I leaned my head over to take a closer look, "Hey~! Zhe Ning, -O - You seem to have a pimple on your face, do you want me to squeeze it out for you, and you lower your head a little." "Don't worry about my face, let's go! ==" Zhe Ning pushed me impatiently, the blush on his face revealed his guilty conscience. "Whatever you do, you'll have spots on your face if you don't squeeze it out—" I said seriously. Although he is not my boyfriend yet, based on the position of a good friend, I can't make him ugly! "No, I don't want my face to be ravaged by you." "You lower your head quickly! If you turn into a pockmarked face in the future, I won't be friends with you." I stretched out my claws and wanted to act. "Let's go! Why are you so concerned about my face?" Zhe Ning grabbed my hand, desperately protecting his noble face. "You don't want me to pop your pimples for fear of pain, do you? -O-" "Hi, Li Zhengyin." Zhe Ning suddenly asked me seriously. "What are you doing?" I still stared at the peas unwillingly, as if I wanted to get rid of it and then hurry up. "I have something to ask you." Zhening's tone was unusually heavy. "Tell me, what's the matter?" My heart was also tensed by his heavy tone, my blood accelerated, my heart beat faster, God!Why am I like this. "You must answer me honestly, tell me honestly." Zhe Ning emphasized repeatedly. "Ok." My God~!What does he want to say to me, is he going to confess to me, "Actually, I have fallen in love with you since a long time ago, let's start dating! Zhengyin." Zhe Ning's affectionate whispers seemed to sound in my ears, == My God, I covered my cheeks shyly, how should I answer him. "What do you think of my relationship with Xu Renya? ┬^┬" "...You, what are you talking about? @_@" I struggled to stabilize my figure, and I confirmed it to Zhe Ning in disbelief.I felt like I was on a roller coaster and had just gone from a high point to a low point. "I said I planned to propose a formal relationship with her, do you think I should date her?" Zhe Ning stared at me and asked again with a blank expression once. "Why do you ask me this kind of thing? Didn't you always like her? Then you two should date." Don't let Zhe Ning see it, absolutely not, I reminded myself in my heart.Finally, I can say this sentence as if nothing had happened. "Am I really dating her?" Zhe Ning tried to ask me again, strange?Why does he care if I agree or not? I am not his. "Of course it's true, don't you still pretend to date her?" I reverted to the bad-tempered little sister of the past, and said to Zhening casually, this is the protective color I need most now. "You really want me to date her?" "Well, let's date. Are you deaf? Ask so many times. ^^" I took a few steps forward, trying to surpass Zhening, not wanting to accept his torture to my heart. "I understand." Zhe Ning said flatly, I couldn't hear his emotion from his tone. Neither of us spoke until I entered the house, and there was an awkward silence in the air. When I got home, the first thing I did was hide in my quilt and cry like hell.It turns out that being sad is such a heart-wrenching thing! Second day at school. Not surprisingly, Zhe Ning was still standing as a student on duty as usual, but standing at the school gate today he looked very far away from me. -- "Hello! ^^" Zhe Ning saw me from afar and showed a big smile. "Hmm~, you're here too? ^－" I laughed a bit far-fetched. "Have you had your breakfast?" "did not eat." "Why don't you eat breakfast, don't you eat breakfast every day?" "It's because I eat it every day. Today I want to try not to eat it. What's wrong? You think everyone loves food like you. -O-" I glared at him angrily, my stomach was full of anger and I couldn't vent it. "It's like eating gunpowder so early in the morning, I'm so angry. Go in, it's hard work." Zhe Ning saw that I was more difficult to provoke today, so she obediently let me go. "Hmm." I snorted. He is no different from usual today, he still looks like a crazy ruffian. Does he really want to confess his love to Xu Renya?Although seeing him made me feel misty in my eyes and my throat was sour, I tried my best to look happy and entered the classroom with a cheerful smile.Li Zhengyin, cheer up, cheer up, falling out of love is no big deal. When I entered the classroom, I habitually looked at Xu Renya, and the first thing that caught my eye was the back of her head. If I had followed my personality in middle school, I would have gone up and beat her up at this moment. Xu Renya, she once said that she hates bad students the most, and she has always been a girl with her nose turned up to the sky. Will she really fall in love with Han Zhening? －－^I should have told my good friend Zhuxi about this, but she will definitely keep asking after she knows about it, alas~!My head hurts. ┬^┬ In the first class I fell asleep, in the second class I started dreaming, and in the third class I fell down on the table and blew.In this way, three classes passed, but Zhuqian still did not come. －－^What the hell did she do? Should I look for her? Creaking, the front door of the classroom was suddenly opened, and a familiar face appeared beside the door. "Ah, Zhening, you're here." In order not to let him see my restlessness, I greeted him familiarly. He casually agreed to my greeting, nodded to me with a smile and walked towards the first group. "Hey, Han Zhening, hurry up your hands and feet." I winked at Han Zhening, deliberately making fun of him and Xu Renya.At this time, I really admire myself, there are a few people who are broken in love who can have my resilience. "Yeah, today is our first day of dating." While speaking, Zhe Ning calmly put one of his hands on Xu Renya's shoulder, and he seemed strange to me in this way. "Are you planning to formally date from today? Han Zhening, congratulations. ^^" I looked at them with a smile, just like the elders are relieved to see their juniors finally start to form a pair. "Starting today, I will appoint you as our Renya's bodyguard. >o<" Zhe Ning was not polite, accepted my blessing, and immediately began to assign tasks to me. Xu Renya turned her head and showed Zhe Ning a sweet and satisfied smile. "Why should I be her bodyguard?—" I muttered disapprovingly.My heart is bleeding. Could anything be more humiliating, more torturous than this?Han Zhening, you are not human! "Then you'll be her bodyguard." Zhe Ning thought I was fussing over words, so she called me another name. "If you want to watch her, watch it yourself, why does your girlfriend want me to protect her? ┬^┬" "My girlfriend is you." "What?" I was extremely surprised. I knew it was impossible, but my already dead heart still ignited a small flame of hope. "Renya is my wife, and my girlfriend is you. So as a friend, should you accept my request?" "You are really good. You have a wife and a girlfriend. You think so beautifully!" I was frustrated, so stupid!Zheng Yin, why do you still think that he will like you? ┬┬ "If you continue to mock me so eccentrically, I will be angry!" "You two stay together, my friend is going to avoid me." I turned around to leave the classroom. Crack~!Han Zhening suddenly stepped forward and grabbed my wrist tightly.One second, another second my tears will fall. No, I must not let him see it. I pressed my shoulders that were constantly twitching, and said in a trembling voice: "What are you doing, idiot~! If you don't let go, your wife will be jealous." "You're not going to smoke, are you?" Zhe Ning obviously misunderstood the reason why I went out, is he caring about me?But what's the use, I'll never be his best The one who cares. ┬┬┬┬ "What does this have to do with you?" I said as calmly as I could. "You promised me not to smoke yesterday.┬^┬" "It's so annoying~! I'm just going out for a while, don't worry about it so much, okay?" I tried hard to break free from Zhening's hand, but unfortunately I couldn't wishful. "..." "Can you please hold your hand high?" I looked at Zhe Ning fearlessly. "You said you would never go out to smoke again." Zhe Ning was very persistent, and also looked at me firmly, his eyes clearly showed his determination to never give up. "Your wife is watching." I had no choice but to use this trick. But even after I said that, the rude and unreasonable guy next to me showed no sign of letting go.I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, and they dripped down one by one, but this dull guy didn't notice. ┬^┬ "Hey, are you enough! I'm not going to smoke, I'm just going to buy bread for the students on duty, so I can go out anyway? --^" I finally thought of a reasonable reason, and only then did the strength in his hand relax. "You two stay here and have a good time, I'll go out and buy some bread." I made a face at Zhe Ning. Han Zhening didn't make a sound. When he was in a daze, I hurriedly fled his hand and fled out of the classroom.It's time to get rid of this stupid unrequited love... I took a deep breath and told myself that from now on I will simply regard Zhe Ning as a friend, a real friend.Huh... I feel so depressed in my heart, let's go upstairs to get some air. There was already someone on the top floor, who happened to be someone I knew. "Sea soldier, what are you doing here?" I called out. "Come up for a cigarette, what are you doing here?" "What are you not yours? Don't you know how to use honorifics to your seniors? Or do you want to taste the strength of my fist?" Although I was broken in love and depressed, I still did not change my female nature. "Elder Sister, why did you come up alone?" Hai Bing immediately changed his words and asked respectfully. "I don't know, I feel a little depressed. Hey, give me one of your cigarettes." "Sister, smoke your own. ┬^┬" Hai Bing looked at me with a sad face. "I want to try another brand." Helpless, Hai Bing quickly took out a cigarette from his pocket. "Hey, why do you stand here alone in a daze with the expression of eating shit?" I want to ask others why they are distressed. If he is more miserable than me, then I have reason to comfort myself NFDA5. "Because of Xiaoguang, I just worry about her." "What's wrong with her? You tell me everything, and the eldest sister will help you solve your problems. But you have to tell me first, who is Xiaoguang?" "Are you joking, ma'am?" "I really don't know her, just tell me." "She is Hancheng's younger sister, a first-year student in our school." Hai Bing lowered his head and said in a low voice. "Ah~! So you fell in love with her?" "Ok." "So what, she hates you?" "She has someone else she likes." Speaking of which, the sailor's head drooped even lower. "who is it?" "A junior who is very close to me." "Huh... I see, you are struggling too! It's okay, Hai Bing, there is nothing wrong with loving someone." In this way, I have been listening to my lovely younger generation telling the story of his love for a girl, until the end of the fourth class, alas~!But to whom can I tell my distress!Li Zhengyin, you must cheer up, haven't you always been the strongest?When have you ever thought about relying on others?You should be like a big tree at all times, living alone in the wind and rain like a big tree!Yes, tree, tree, tree, you are a tree. "Hey, why did you come back so stupidly? Did you get scolded by the dean? That's why you look so angry." Han Zhening's lingering ghost reappeared. －－^ "You don't go to eat during the lunch break, what are you doing in other people's classrooms?" I looked at him angrily. "Of course I came to see my wife." Zhe Ning said casually, but he suddenly approached me and sniffed me like a dog. "That's right! Hey, hey, what are you doing?" I quickly stretched out my hands and pushed him away, preventing him from getting closer. "Are you smoking...?" Zhe Ning was full of doubts, like a terrible judge. "Oops, I suddenly remembered that I forgot to do something. I'll be back as soon as I go to the teaching office." Before the fiery ruffian took me under the knife, I greased the soles of my feet and ran out of the classroom like crazy.I'd be a fool if I didn't escape now.