Chapter 48 Appendix 1(2)

The original title of my novel was "Electricity" after writing a few chapters.Why use the word "electricity"?My explanation is: "There are several protagonists in "Electricity", and there are many clues. It is very suitable for the title of "Electricity", because there seem to be several strands of lightning shining in the dark sky one after another." This novel was written in a very comfortable environment.When I started writing the first part, I was still living at the house of my newly married friend in Peking, where I had all the conveniences and could write articles with peace of mind.Then another friend invited me out of town to wish me good luck.He works as a teacher at Yenching University and lives in the garden that used to be a palace.During the day, people went to work at the school headquarters across the street.I was left alone in that great garden, and passed three weeks of leisure.During this period, I also swam the Great Wall once.But I finished "Electricity" without any difficulty.

I say effortless because I almost never stop thinking when I write.Words come out from under my fountain pen as naturally and easily as water coming out of a fountain.But my excitement at that time was unimaginable to others.I pretty much put my whole heart and soul into the story.The characters I write about come to life in my head, and they are exactly like living people.They live, suffer, love, struggle, laugh, cry and die.For them I forgot my existence.It seems that I am not writing novels, but they borrow my pen to live.During those three weeks, no matter where I was, I only saw that group of people.They are constantly moving before my eyes, and they do not allow me a moment's peace.

My excitement, my pain, my tiredness, I am afraid that only the friend who invited me to live here to write articles knows. I feel like I'm in a big fight.I am like a general mobilizing an army, sending my friends (pawns created by myself) one by one into eternity.I wrote about Hung and Ji Won's executions, and I wrote about Yadan and Min's bizarre deaths. When I finished writing this novel, I was on the verge of crying.The life of watching the fire from the other side turned out to be so sad. After the novel was finished, I sent the first four chapters to the editorial department of Literature, and I took the latter part with me when I returned to Shanghai.I didn't know until I arrived in Shanghai that the novel had been arranged into two chapters, but finally for some reason, it couldn't be published, so I took the novel to Peking again.I discussed it several times with my friends and finally decided to publish it in the "Literary Quarterly".

I edited the content of "Electricity" a little bit.There are very few changes, but I changed the names of all the characters who appeared in "Lei" and I made a table at that time, and now I copy it here: Peizhu——Hui Zhuren Min - Renshan Zhiyuan - Zhicheng Jianhong - Jianfeng Chen Zhen - Tianxin Yadan - Jixianying - Xiaoyinghui - Yipingmin - Bingbi - Biyude - Ms. Zongxiong - —Ms. Hong's "Electricity" was divided into two articles when it was published in "Literary Quarterly".The title was changed to "When the Longan Flowers Bloom", and a subtitle was added - Spring in the South in 1925.The author's name changed to Ouyang Jingrong, which was indeed a strange name.

At the beginning of the last part, I quoted two passages from "New Medicine" and "Apocalypse". I watched it again and saw a white cloud.On the cloud sat one who looked like a son of man, with a golden crown on his head and a sharp sickle in his hand.Another angel came out of the temple and called out to him sitting on the cloud, Stretch out your sickle and reap, for the time of reaping has come.The crops on the ground are ripe.He who sat on the cloud threw his sickle to the ground.The crops of the ground were harvested. Chapter Fourteen, Sections Fourteen to Sixteen I saw a new heaven and earth again, because the former heaven and the former earth have passed away.The sea is no more.And I saw the holy city, the New Jerusalem, coming down from God from heaven and ready, like a bride adorned for her husband.And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying: Behold.The tabernacle of God is among men.He shall dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.God will also wipe away all their tears.There will be no more death, nor mourning, nor crying, nor pain.

For the former things have passed away.The one who sits on the throne said: Behold.I updated everything.And he said: Write it down, because these words are trustworthy and true. Chapter 25, Sections 1 to 5 It is marked on the back:——"Residence in Kowloon in May 1932". At the beginning of the next part, I quoted the following four verses from the "New Testament" and "John's Gospel": When light came into the world, people loved darkness instead of light because of their bad behavior... He who hates the light will not come to the light, lest his deeds be reproved; but he who does the truth will come to the light.

Chapter 3, Sections 19 and 20 I am the light of the world, those who follow me will not walk in darkness, but will gain the light of life. Chapter Eight Section Twelfth I came into the world as a light, that whoever believes in me should not abide in darkness.If someone does not keep what I say, I will not come to judge him.I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world. Chapter Thirteen, Sections 46 and 47 I am the resurrection, I am the life.Whoever believes in me, though dead, shall live; whoever lives and believes in me shall never die. Chapter Eleven, Sections 25 and 26

A small note was added at the end:——"There was originally a chapter ending after this, but now it has been deleted by the author. The next chapter will be considered as the end here." Finally, it is also noted:——"December 1933 in Kowloon." None of this is true.I lied on purpose so that no one would think that this novel was my work.This approach seemed necessary at the time.At least two or three friends have argued in this way.As for the "end", the novel should have an end, but I haven't had the chance to write it out, and there is no guarantee that I can meet the readers if I write it out, so I simply stopped writing it.In fact, the novel could have ended like this.Some people may say that it can't end like this.But life is by no means over.Individuals die, but human beings have to live for a long time.

At that time, I wanted to convince readers that Ouyang Jingrong was a person who grew up in Fujian and Guangdong. "When the Longan Blooms" was a novel written in Kowloon that took more than a year and a half. This name wrote an essay titled "When the Longan Flowers Bloom Again", describing his process of writing this novel.I have not compiled this essay into other collections.But I love it very much, and it is also closely related to "Electricity", so I also recorded it below: I got out of Xian Shi Company, and accompanied Fang on the tram to Causeway Bay. "Go to the upper floor, let's make an exception today," I said to the other party with a smile.

Fang knew what I meant, so he didn't say anything, and was the first to climb the ladder. I followed behind him. The two of us sat in one chair, and I leaned my elbows against the car window, watching the street scene below. "Rong, how many pages have you written in your novel?" Fang asked me suddenly. "Only the ones you've read, and you haven't written much these days," I replied nonchalantly, still looking at the street scene below. "Is your novel going to be published?" "I don't dare to have such an ambition," I said, turning to look at him in surprise, because I thought his voice was odd.

"You shouldn't have written me like that, you don't know me," he said defensively. "I haven't finished my novel yet. You won't expect the ending, but you should trust me, I won't fail to understand you." "Then I'll wait to read your article..." He smiled slightly. In this smile, I saw forgiveness. Fang thought I had misunderstood him before, but now he forgave me. Fang left two days after this conversation.On the eve of his departure, he sent a letter himself, which said: "I know that your life will be more lonely after I leave, and I know that my life will be more lonely after I leave, and I may find many people in the future." Brave friend, but I am afraid there is no one who knows me as well as you do." He even said that he was willing to follow my advice, get rid of all bad habits, and try to put a heavy responsibility on his shoulders.In the end he said that he didn't want me to send him off because he didn't want me to see him cry. Fang, that big boy, who had been on the verge of death several times without moving his mind, was called a rough man by many women, but now he wrote such a letter.His friendship moved me. I continued to write my novel in solitude.I use this to while away my time.I write slowly because that's all I have left to live. When the longan flowers bloom, Hui comes.She lives at a friend's house and always visits me once a day across the sea.Seeing me trying to write a novel, she laughed and said, "Are you writing us history?" Writing history, my pen is not worthy.It made me feel too presumptuous.I argued, "Why write history? We haven't stepped into the past yet." At this point, I had forgotten that I was a dying person. Hui read my novel, she saw Huizhu, Xiaoying, Renshan, and all the people. She had a gentle smile on her face, as if she was living with her friends. These people are her good friends. . "Rong, write it down." Hui encouraged me like this.At the same time, she reprimanded: "It's just that you shouldn't include me in it, Yiping is not like me." There was no anger in her reproach.I know she likes this novel because it brings back many sweet memories for her. "These are just memories, not history. Our history is to be written in blood." She finally covered my manuscript, sighed slightly, and said the above words. Hui lived on the opposite island for less than a month before leaving me behind.She has her job, she's not like me, I'm a sick person.I couldn't get my crippled body stumped well. "Rong, rest a lot. Write the novel slowly. When the longan flowers bloom again next year, I will come to pick you up and go back to our place." I sent Hui to the boat, and the chimney blew three times, and she also reminded me .She understands that my heart is hard to forget parting.Her two thin eyebrows were also slightly frowned. The one who should have left has finally left.They wrote history with their blood. I stayed alone on this leased land, filling my days with illness and novels. There was no letter from Fang after he left, but he only sent me two books.Hui didn't believe it either.I know it's their habit.I know they must be happier than I am. The longan flowers are blooming, thank you, and even the fruit has been plucked.My health is still not good.During this time, I wrote slowly, almost word by word, and finally finished my novel, writing about the execution of Xiong and Zhicheng, and about the strange deaths of Jixian and Bing.I seem to be like a commander mobilizing troops and sending these friends into eternity.After finishing the novel, I couldn't help but fell on the desk and cried sadly.I am now a bystander watching the fire from the other side. Like a mother giving birth to a child, I put my blood on the novel.Although I am already a dying person, my "child" will live.I will leave "him" to Kei, let her raise this child well. Whether my body will be able to support it until next spring, I don't know.However, if I can still see Hui when the longan flowers bloom again, then I must leave this lonely leased place.I still remember the words that Hui often sang: "I know that my time is not long, and I should live it to the fullest." New Year's Eve, Kowloon, 1933 The facts written in this article are all fiction.Only the paragraph about Fang has a little basis.Fang is Gao Zhiyuan, and I have already mentioned the real situation before. Hui and Hui are one person, but whether she is a certain friend or not, I can't tell myself. In short, although the writing and publication of this article has the effect of a kind of smoke screen, the sentiment throughout the whole text is very similar to my mood when I wrote "Dian".So it is still a sincere work.From it, readers can also see my painful mood at that time. "Electricity" is the last part of "The Trilogy of Love". It is not only the continuation of "Thunder", but also the continuation of "Thunder".With it, "Lei" and Cai can have a relationship.The background of "Thunder" and "Thunder" are two places, and what is described in it is the events of S land, but the story of "Thunder" happened in F land. The end time of should be later than "Ray".When Zhou Rushui threw himself into the river at S, De had already been shot to death at F. "Electricity" and "Thunder" also took place in Field F, but the time was nearly three years later than "Thunder".In terms of time, there is no more than two and a half years between "Electricity" and the scene.At the beginning of "Electricity", Xian said to Li Peizhu: "You have only been here for more than two years." Find her a job.It was possible that they had invited her soon after they arrived at F.Calculated in this way, it will take less than two and a half years from the beginning of "Dian". But in the past two and a half years, we can see that Li Peizhu has changed a lot, Wu Renmin has changed a lot, and Gao Zhiyuan has also changed, at least his stomach pain is gone.Fang Yadan has not changed much, and Hui is no different from her three years ago.But Min was something else entirely.Film has made great progress. It was a blessed two and a half years.Just as Renmin said: "Today's society is a big furnace. I seem to have a lot to say about "Dian", but it is inconvenient to say them all here. This novel is one of my works. It is my favorite book, and I also like it the most in the "Trilogy of Love". Unfortunately, it has almost lost its original appearance after being slaughtered several times. "Electricity" cannot be said to have love as its theme, it is not a romance novel; it cannot be said to have revolution as its theme, nor is it a revolutionary novel.At the same time, it is not a formulaic novel about revolution and love.It neither writes about love hindering the revolution, nor does it write about love helping the revolution.It only describes the character, activity and death of a group of young people.This group of young people has good will and enthusiasm, and they want to do something that is beneficial to everyone. For this ideal, they sacrificed everything they have personally.They may be naive, they may often make mistakes, and their efforts may have little effect.However, their spirit of sacrifice, their heroism, and their pure hearts made everyone with a conscience shed tears of gratitude.I call my novel "Electricity".When I wrote this "Electricity", I did see many strands of lightning flashing in the dark sky. I don't want to talk too much about the characters in "Electricity".In this novel, unlike my other works, the characters here are almost exclusively protagonists, and all occupy an equally important place.Most of the characters in the novel are not the portrayal of someone in real life. I often put together several friends to form a person in "Electricity".Hui is formed in this way, and Min is also formed in this way.Ying and Bi, Ke and Chen Qing, Ming and Xian, and Dehua are all formed in this way.But it seems that we cannot completely deny their authenticity because of this. Li Peizhu's nearly sound character can only fully reveal her full strengths in the final chapter.However, the chapter at the end did not meet and write for a while.This Fegnier-type woman was created by me.I didn't have a "model" when I wrote about her.But the biographies of female revolutionaries from various countries that I have read have given me great help. Wu Renmin became Li Peizhu's lover, and this man seemed to be inseparable from women all his life.He had Yaozhu in "The Fog", Yuwen and Zhijun in it, and now he has Peizhu again.But he is no longer the former Wu Renmin.That is to say, he is no longer the portrayal of my friend. He has formed an independent personality, acquired his independent existence, and has become a new person. Perhaps it can be said that Gao Zhiyuan has not changed, he just revealed another side of himself.But the recovery of his health would make him unknown. I said that I wrote Fang Yadan using that lanky young friend as a "model".Fang Yadan is different from De, Fang Yadan is not like an erupting volcano. Although Hui said he was rough, in fact he was not a rough person. My friend was much rougher than him.That friend's attitude towards women is full of contradictions.I knew he was fighting a lot inside.He hates women intellectually, but loves them emotionally.So some people criticized him behind his back: scolding women in his mouth, but loving women in his heart. Fang Yadan is not like this.Fang Yadan is happy to be with elementary school students, or busy with beekeeping.My friend did these things too.So when I saw him playing with elementary school students, or busy changing the foundation of the nest, destroying the king's platform, and running around surrounded by bees, I would also be as surprised as Li Peizhu: "Why are you a rough person?" Can you make good friends with bees and schoolchildren?" Although my lanky young friend has many shortcomings, he is just like Fang Yadan, a person with a pure heart.I "shot" and Fang Yadan, I am sorry to have lost such a lovely friend.But the lanky young friend is still alive, and I hear he is gradually recovering. So I wish him an early return to his midst of bees and schoolboys. I also like Hui very much.Her thick hair like a lion's mane still dangles in front of my eyes from time to time.She's not a sound character.She is not as gentle, calm and firm as Peizhu; not as calm as Bi; not as stable as Ying; not as straightforward as Dehua.But her rush of enthusiasm surpassed them all.She is bolder than them all.She is known as a "love supremacist" because her concept of sex is liberated. "I know I don't have much time to live, and I should live it to the fullest." This one phrase she used to say gives us a hint of her whole character. Min and Hui had loved each other, but Hui, a "free sexist," did not have a fixed lover.Min loves Guo Hui, and is still loving Hui now.But now he has taken love very lightly.He has become the most in three years, and he has revealed a little mental abnormality, which makes him morbidly eager to sacrifice at any time.As Peizhu said, he is a person with too many emotions, and he is finally ruined by emotions.In order to calm his feelings, he arbitrarily did the thing that was not good for everyone. Chen Qing is a typical "model".That is a dear friend of mine who is still working in the United States.The simplicity and firmness of his beliefs, the courage and zeal of his actions, can only be understood by those who know him.Chen Qing's unnecessary sacrifice at the end seemed quite natural to my friend.From Wu Renmin to Min, they would never do this kind of thing.But there is nothing unreasonable about what Chen Qing did.It fits his character.However, this typical authenticity may not be easily understood by ordinary young readers. The child Xian also has "models", but there is more than one.I saw him running around with "Bi" in a place a few years ago, which left a deep impression on my mind.However, what I saw at that time was only his appearance (not his face, Xian's face was borrowed from another child), so when I wrote Xian later, I also spelled several people together.Somehow I like this kid very much. Everything that can be said about Electricity has been said.There seems to be something else that should be said, but I don't want to say it.I closed the "Dian" that was open in front of me.After I did this, Li Peizhu's oval face full of youthful vigor appeared in front of my eyes, and then I saw Hui's half face covered by flying black hair.My heart trembled slightly with gratitude and encouragement.My soul was flushed with a sublime feeling, and my heart was filled with devoted longing.Just at this time, two letters appeared in front of my eyes. This was a letter I wanted to answer but I didn't answer, so I kept putting them in "Electricity". I have wanted to write a letter to Mr. for a long time, for a long time.I really can't read enough of Mr.'s articles. Those articles gave me excitement, pain and hope. I always thought that Mr.'s articles were the most suitable for our young people, and they were written for our young people to read.Sometimes when I see the activities of the characters in the book, I often dream that that person refers to me.Those people refer to me and my friends, and I often read to tears because I am so much like those characters.Those characters have bravely found their own way, and I still suffer here every day without end.I'm willing to be brave, and I'm willing to throw away everything that binds me—even my loving parents.I would love to actually "live" a bit, but right now I'm not living at all. I'm a college junior, and a girl, and my parents treat me like iron, but they have good reason - treat me like a son - and they're not like other girl's parents, and don't stop me Entering school, you don’t want to force me to get engaged, but you want me to earn good grades, graduate, get a degree, and stay in the United States; I’m not allowed to follow suit with an unruly friend.At school, the environment is a beautiful red building, and I really can't see the appearance of these female students.I would like to find a way out, but there is none.This environment doesn't give me a chance at all.I scold myself, I am a useless and shameless parasite, parasitic on my parents.I have dreams that are too high, but in fact, I still go to school every day to attend lectures, go home for dinner, and have nothing else to do.Some male classmates also said that I was "good", but in fact I was more contradictory than all the girls. gentlemen.I am waiting for you to help me, I hope you tell me, in my environment, is there any way to break free?I absolutely believe that I have the courage to leave this family—my family has placed half of the burden of their future "glorious lintel" on me, and I don't want to bear it—but after leaving, should I go back to the red building style? in school?I really have nowhere to go.gentlemen. Tell me, what method can I use to relieve my pain?I read as much as I can, but reading can only make me feel more uncomfortable, because the book talks about the light, and I can only look at the light from afar and rub my hands.I believe that books cannot replace life.I don't even believe that college students organize seminars and discuss books once a week to complete the mission of youth.Who knows what benefit our discussion can give others?Just further proof that our bunch deserved to die long ago. Help me sir, I am waiting for a new article from you to answer me.Please post it, it will help me and other youths out there. one of your young readers This "young reader" not only didn't tell me her name, she didn't even write down her mailing address, so I couldn't reply.She asked me to write a new article to answer her. In fact, I have already planned such an article. This is a book with a young girl as the protagonist, and writes about how a young girl committed suicide and escaped... various methods, and finally got The right to seek knowledge and freedom, and left her autocratic and corrupt family.this is a true story.Such a book may be useful to ordinary young readers.But how busy I am, when will I have the opportunity to write it, even I am not sure.I predicted three years ago that I was going to write a "Group", and I didn't start writing three pages until today. The other "Dawn" didn't even write a single word.No one can know what will happen tomorrow.Maybe I will stop writing forever after finishing this "General Preface".Maybe next year I'll go crazy and write a million words on it again.But I can't give anyone another appointment.So for that young reader whose name is not known, let me introduce Li Peizhu to her as a friend.Hope she can get an answer from Li Peizhu. For these three small books, I wrote more than 20,000 words.In the past two years, I have cherished my pen and ink, and I am not happy to use articles to entertain others.This time I wrote so many words automatically, which may be close to waste.However, what I have written here are all true words, words that have been hidden in my heart for a long time.I rarely pour them out to others.They are like fire erupting from a volcano, but I covered the volcano with snow. My self is like a volcano under the snow.Beneath the surface of calm, I hide such a strong flame.Others only see snow, and only I know fire.The fire was consuming the inside of me.I'm afraid, I'm afraid that one day in the future it will explode. This is my "soul corner" that I never opened for anyone before, but now I'm starting to open it. Then I will simply quote a self-disclosure statement I wrote two years ago here as the end of my "General Preface": ... A person never deceives himself or forgives himself.Let me open again the corner of my soul.At night, I often lie in bed and cannot close my eyes, and there are no other sounds and sights to disturb me.All the honor, disgrace, praise and reputation of the world have disappeared far away.Then I came to be my own judge and judge harshly of my past life. I did make many mistakes.For a long time I lived a dual personality life.During the day I am busy, I am struggling, I am like a soldier waving a flag and shouting forward, I curse the enemy, I attack the enemy, I am like a weapon, so some people criticize me as a machine.But at night I lie down, open a corner of my soul, caress my wounds and rise up sadly, I despair, I am like a weakling.My heart aches for many things, just because I am not a machine. "Why do you always think about hate? You should put more effort into the word love." A familiar voice sounded in my ear. In the past I have been considered a misanthrope, I have preached the Gospel of Hate, and have been given all kinds of false titles by some... Many have accused me of being wrong.Some people say that the world should be saved with love.Some people say that what is abominable is the system, not the individual.Some people even use various social science terms to criticize my works.They said that I don't understand history, I don't understand revolution.They say that all this is just the tragedy of the declining petty bourgeoisie.They say I don't reflect real life. I have also carefully considered these criticisms... I have experienced the arduous struggles of the two great revolutions with the people of France and Russia in many old books, and I have experienced all kinds of things with an honest heart. life of change.I built a belief for myself.From the age of fifteen until now I have let my faith guide me. I'm shallow, I'm blunt, I'm stupid.All this I admit, yet I am true, I never let fog cloud my eyes, I never let passion cloud my head.My exploration in life is endless and endless.I never hide my weaknesses.But I don't let go of it, I struggle with it.The result was a struggle. The struggle is fierce.I have often exhausted my efforts for it, and my contradictions have arisen since then. My life is full of contradictions.The conflict between emotion and reason, between thinking and behavior, between ideal and reality, between love and hatred, these have woven a net and covered me inside.It threw me into the abyss of hatred, and let the violent waves hit my body from time to time.I never stopped struggling.I always want to crawl out of there.However, I still can't break through the net of contradictions, that net binds me too tightly... No one can understand me, because I refuse to be understood by others... People only see my smile, but no one knows I feed myself with pain all day long. My hatred is blind, intense, and universal.I often paint the object of my hatred as an abomination.I have often personified the system I hate, turned it into a terribly hateful person, I have often turned my love into hatred... All this may seem unnecessary to others, they may Thought the fog had blinded my eyes.Not at all.I know I am but a victim of transition.I cannot be exempt from all this, simply because of my attitude towards life.I am a young man of flesh and blood living in this dark and chaotic age.Because of being faithful: faithfully exploring and faithfully experiencing, all kinds of contradictions arise, and I cannot eliminate them... I am just an extremely ordinary youth. My life may be a tragedy.However, this comes from personality (I have been melancholy since I was a child).My character has ruined the happiness of my own life, so that I should be satisfied in pain.It has been said that revolutionaries are born to seek pain.I am not worthy to be a revolutionary, but I have become a person who seeks pain.My loneliness, my darkness, my terrors are all of my own making.I can't complain about this. I admit that I am not healthy, I am not stubborn.I admit that I have made many mistakes.But it is not at all the fault of my thoughts, of my beliefs.That responsibility should be borne by my character, my feelings.Perhaps I will be punished for these transgressions.I will never escape.You should eat the bitter fruit you plant.This is not my fate alone.I am not alone in being a victim of transitional times.I even found similar sorrows among such people as Marat, Danbu, Robespierre, Berovskaya, and Fegniel, although their achievements were beyond my wildest dreams. However, despite these mistakes, I still have to live, I still have to suffer, struggle, and even perish. So at the beginning of this new year, let me borrow a friend's words to motivate myself: "You should sail your life boat in tragedy (the pain suffered in struggle, I explain tragedy in this way), in tragedy Invigorate your vitality and complete your creation. As long as you don’t capsize due to the catastrophe encountered in the middle, and try your best to resist all pain and stage countless tragedies for a bright future (that is, the destination), this is considered A human warrior." Ba Jin Completed on October 27, 1935