Chapter 10 Chapter 5 (Part 1)

Chapter 5 (Part 1) In 1967, I recruited "Pick up a pen to make a knife and gun" into my family. It can be explained in this way: I used this method to win a territory for myself.Although the building was under siege by others, they hadn't broken in yet.Although there are other people in this building besides me, they are in the same group as me, and I have a part in this building anyway.Although the way to get the building was not very legal, there was nothing legal about it at the time.The most important thing is that I can do whatever I want here, but the first thing is that no one can rush in and snatch it away from me.So the first thing I did was to make it an iron wall.I've tried my best for this, but I still can't keep it.After that, I never had my territory again.

When I was fighting in that building, my spirits were high, and I felt pleasure in everything I did.The work I did in one day at that time would not be finished in a year now (assuming it was done for the public).If you asked Freud to explain it, he would say that because I was too young, I was in the anal period of sexual desire, because sexual desire had nowhere to vent, so I was very aggressive.I don't think this statement is correct.The asshole is too small to explain my high spirits back then. When we stayed in that building, we didn't have much to do at night, but we couldn't sleep to death, so we asked people to touch the camp.So when taking a nap, two people are in pairs with their backs to their backs.There is a female college student whose surname is either Huang, Lan, or Hong, but they are of the same color. Every time I disagree with her.When they fell asleep at night, they pressed against each other, and when they woke up in the morning, they must hug each other.Sometimes her face was still on her breasts.This incident also shows that I am not in anal period.

If I can count myself as an example, it can prove that male sexuality has never had an anal period, only a pretentious period.At that time, I looked down on all people who were different from myself, including old men, old ladies, children, and even the most different people from myself—girls.Although I really want to play with them in my heart, I don't admit it with my mouth. The worst thing I did was to tell X Haiying that there was a college student with the surname of color, and I also told her that the college student with the surname of color had two combs, and the back of his head looked like a brown woven cushion.Afterwards, she kept asking who that Hue was, which was extremely troublesome.I had told her a long time ago that the college student surnamed Hue was a woman, but she kept asking, asking where that person was, as if she was going to have sex.

Regarding the female college student surnamed Hue, there is one thing I need to add, that is, when I was sober, I also found her quite troublesome.For example, I was sweating with a group of people on the top of the fifth floor to arrange the rolling logs and rocks, ready to smash all the attackers to death, when I heard her calling me on the second floor, I ran away in a hurry.Guess what you are asking me to do - tell me to eat noodles.I stayed in this building, destroyed my house, betrayed my family's interests, and got lice all over, just to eat this kind of noodles served in a teapot with no oil or salt?I am very disgusted with her and feel that she is a mother-in-law.But that's when I'm sober.When I was asleep, or thought I was, I would hug her, kiss her, and run my hands over her breasts.When doing this kind of thing, she always pinched my arm, and the next day my arm was covered with blue marks.This shows that such a thing happened.But no matter how hard she pinched, I didn't wake up.Except that he is not awake, everything else is the same as when he was awake.For example, a horse lantern is lit in the corridor. The light turns red for a while, and turns yellow for a while, erratic.There are many straw mats in the ground, giving the impression of a construction site.I didn't feel at all that I was in the home where I lived for more than ten years.The college student of color had a taste of fudge in his mouth.There were four buttons on the left side of her bra, which were a hassle to untie.There are more buttons concentrated in that square inch than the rest of my whole body, which shows that women are simply not allowed to touch it.I've decided to treat this as a dream, and no matter how hard she pinches, I won't wake up.I didn't tell X Haiying about this, and let her ask whatever she wanted.I don't think it's appropriate to tell her this.

The university of the last name color grows beautifully, with black eyebrows and hair, and fair skin.I always want to get an erection when I'm close to her, and I know what to do with it; but I just won't.She couldn't figure out why I wouldn't - I was afraid of exposing myself as a wet quilt cover.It's very troublesome to get wet.If she could think of it, she would comfort me and say: It doesn't matter, everyone is covered with wet quilts anyway, and she is not afraid of trouble.Later she said this to me, but this is also a very later thing.At that time, I was busy planning various actions. At night, I climbed from the trench to the school factory, stole various tools, and transformed my building into a termite nest.I have a plan, I want to dig two more floors underground for our building, and add another floor above the ground. For this purpose, I have shipped two tons of steel pipes, as well as a lot of cement and steel bars.If this plan is completed, it can stay here until the 21st century.But the plan was not completed.

I told X Haiying what happened in 1967, and when I mentioned the college student surnamed Hue, it was over.From then on, she stopped caring about other things and only asked about this one thing.I myself thought that my main problem was beating Zhanba, and the reason I was beating him was because I loved him.But X Haiying didn't even listen to these words.She always said this to me: tell me about you and "surname color", don't talk about other things! 2 As I said, when I was young, I went everywhere to catch dragonflies and prepared to be electrocuted on my power supply. At that time, I was holding a cage with iron screens in my hand, and there was a sticky rod between my fingers.I can quietly walk behind a dragonfly on a branch, reach out and pinch its tail, or stick its wings with the sticky glue.No matter how you capture it, always make eye contact with it while slowly extending your hand.In a golden haze, dragonflies have thousands of tiny blue eyes, but none of them work.Every time I catch a dragonfly, I put it in the cage with a sigh.Later, there were many red dragonflies, blue dragonflies, and a bronze dragonfly in my cage, which we called Laozi.They flapped their wings and rolled and rolled before being electrocuted.Of course, I can also stop catching dragonflies and let them continue to fly in the sky.But then I have nothing to do.

When I was a child, after I caught a dragonfly, I held it in my hand and stared into its eyes.At this time, the haze on the surface of the compound eyes disappeared without a trace, and each eye inside was as big as a fist.At that moment, the dragonfly also lost the courage to struggle.When I was young, I was cruel and murderous, and I will never forget this.This incident shows that although the theme of my life is pessimism and despair, there is also a temperament outside the theme.This kind of temperament will only be displayed when I punch Zhanba, when I participate in battles, and when I electrocute dragonflies.

In addition to the power supply that killed countless dragonflies, I also built a trebuchet that hit every shot.Later, I also thought about what happened to those people who were knocked off the roof by us, but that was several years later.After some calculations, a shocking conclusion was drawn: If those people were not dead, at least they were seriously injured.Because the stone bullets fired by the trebuchet have at least a few thousand joules of energy, and it is impossible to be unharmed by being hit by so much energy in the chest, no matter what armor you wear; let alone face down fell from the fifth floor.Although rope nets were set up around the building to prevent this kind of thing, falling headfirst on the nets may break your neck.All things considered, the probability of being killed by a bullet is at least fifteen percent.This conclusion made me very unhappy, but it was also very late.Nobody grieved at the time when someone died.It was a time of revolution, and no one really dies in a revolution.Killing the other party in the revolutionary period is as happy as earning more than a dozen dollars in the industrial and commercial society.Losing one person during the revolution is like losing a dozen yuan, which is a bit sad.At this time, we memorized a quotation from Chairman Mao: "This method should also be introduced to the common people. When someone in the village dies, a memorial service will be held, and this method will be used to express our sorrow...", and then we will not do it at all. Sad, because sad is digested by this formula.This kind of programming is advanced intelligence.Because of all these programs, many things lose their original meaning—even death is not real.But there are still some real things: I am obsessed with building a perfect trebuchet (that thing is used to kill people, but I did not expect it to kill people at the time); female college students embraced and kissed, resulting in nocturnal emission.These things are eccentric, but the truth lies in the eccentricity.I still remember that the college student surnamed Hue had two peaches in her breasts and woke up with red and swollen eyes every morning; she pinched me really painfully.This is the real thing.Because there are real things after all, so it is worth living.I told X Haiying these things to explain that in the autumn of 1967, the college student surnamed Hue was just one of many things in my mind, but she didn't even listen.

In the early morning of the autumn of 1967, when you went to the university where I grew up, you could see that the building where our family used to live took on a strange appearance.A small man climbed out of the window and walked leisurely on the roof of the building without tiles, with a black veil covering his face.That person is me.I ignored the bricks coming from the building opposite, even if a big brick was about to hit me on the head, I would just bow my waist a little and let it brush my collar; I just walked towards the highest point.Nothing scared me then.My face is covered with a college student's veil of the same color, which has a sweet fragrance and the feeling of rustling hair.Later, I walked to the highest place, stretched my waist, and saw that the surrounding fog was rising, and all the buildings were exposed to the concrete skeleton, and the black windows were exposed, as if there had just been a flood.The air is yellow and clear, like water that has melted rust.This scene is like those aftermath movies that I watched in the United States later.I swear, there is no other scene that satisfies me so much.

A college student with the surname color dared not open her eyes when she climbed to the top of the building from the window. She needed someone to hold her hand and guide her to the place to grab, and then climbed down to hold her feet to the place to kick.This process is like when dragging a large package upstairs, the person still has a pick handle in his hand, because the person on the opposite floor sees someone climbing up the scaffolding ladder at a nearly static speed Will hit with a big slingshot.The bricks they projected flew here at a very slow speed, and they could be shot down one by one with wooden sticks, but they also needed sharp eyesight and quick hands.This person is usually me.I've never seen a dumber climber than her, and she dared to call me a bulldog.She was just cumbersome and annoying and utterly hateful.But then I loved her a lot.This shows that hateful and cute can't be distinguished.

A college student surnamed Hue and I climbed the ditches to Haidian Town to buy pancakes. Those ditches were made of bricks and covered with cement slabs.When lit from the inside, the bricks piled on top of each other, as if they were about to press down inside.That is a short distance.Both of us wore rubberized gloves, and the college student with the last name had a sandbag on his lap that the track and field team wears when they practice legs-of course, the iron sand in the bag was poured out.I told her that if you enter the ditch, you have to crawl like a dog, and you have to take out everything in your pocket, otherwise you will throw it away.She took out the money and stuffed it into her bra so it wouldn't crawl off.Then we went down into the trench and started climbing.With a lantern in my mouth, I got up without touching the ground on my knees and very quickly. I didn't practice this technique for a year or two.The college student surnamed Hue followed behind. It seemed that she had a bit of talent for climbing the trench and could keep up with me.After climbing for a while, a college student surnamed Hue suddenly sat down on the ground and said, "Little bull dog!!", and then burst out laughing. 3 In the late fall of that year, I laid the railroad tracks on the fourth floor and erected tracks so that my trebuchet and I could get to any crisis point in time.In addition, I am also planning to change the trebuchet to an electric one, so that it can fire twelve stone projectiles a minute.Before that, I had transformed that building into a barbed wire.Originally, if things continued like this, no one would be able to drive us out of the building. At this moment, sparse gunshots rang out in the campus.As long as there are guns, everything I do is meaningless. The people who "took a pen to make a gun" began to discuss how to make a gun, but I didn't say a word.Maybe they'll be able to get a gun, but then it won't be fun anymore.And they told me to go home, that it was too dangerous for me to stay here; but they didn't really want me to go home, because when there's war nobody wants a man in his team to go home.Later I advised them all to go home, but they refused to listen, so I went home alone.Because this is no longer my game.I can't hold this building with my strength.It seems to me that a man can only fight with a weapon he makes himself, or be a goddamn bastard.The Romans always fought with Roman weapons, and the Greeks always fought with Greek weapons.People at that time picked up a German-made Mauser pistol on the ground, and they would definitely throw it into the gutter, because they were all heroes.All in all, I cried out in agony and wiped my tears with my fists as I ditched to leave the building.I imagine it was the same with ancient heroes when they lost their city-states.Before I finished climbing the ditch, the murderous aura on my body was gone.I became a pessimistic person again. t靮p顊 When the fighting in 1967 developed to the point of using guns, I left "Pick up a pen and make a knife and gun" and went home.Some people may say that I am timid, but I will never admit it.Because fighting with a broadsword and spear and a trebuchet obviously requires more courage.Take our hospital as an example. Since the gun was fired, no one has been killed.This is not surprising at all, because in history, swords and spears have killed far more than guns.It has been more than forty years since the atomic bomb was made, and except for the two bombings in Japan, it has not killed a single person. The things that happened to me in '67 ended like this.In the winter of 1974, when I was a tutor, I told X Haiying about it one by one.When I was young, a teacher said I was a pig. I hated her so much that I had to dismember her in my head every night when I was in bed; and when I got to school the next morning, she was still alive. Call me helpless.Later, every time I saw her, I said "Hello, teacher" and stood upright.After a while she stopped calling me a pig and announced publicly that she liked me very much.When I rubbed my ass in front of X Haiying and was questioned, I hated her deeply, but the hatred is useless, something must be done to dissolve the hatred.Talking big is also a way. I hate X Haiying's old military uniform. When she was sitting at the table, she was fiddling with a ballpoint pen expressionlessly, as if she was interrogating a spy.It would be much better for me if she wasn't in uniform, I think she was trying to humiliate me.In addition, she wore two braids that hung slightly over her shoulders.If I don't speak, the air in the room is stuffy, as if it's all over my head.A fly flew out of the window and circled slowly in the room.I know that there is a kind of water called heavy water, which is heavier than ordinary water.Another kind of air is heavy air, which will condense automatically if it is not stirred.I wasn't hungry at the time, so I wasn't in zero-dimensional space.But I was glued to the stool and couldn't move, so I was in one-dimensional space.It made me feel unbearable, so I talked everything out.In my dream, X Haiying fell into the icy water, and I fished her out.She was trapped in a burning building, and I rescued her again.I am her savior in dire straits.If it weren't for me, she would have died a hundred times already.But that's not enough to explain how I had sex with her in May. 4 Back in time, when I was a worker in a tofu factory, the south wall of the men's toilet in the factory was not painted white, and the bricks behind could be seen through the solidified mortar; so the layer of mortar was like blown cow urine脬, paper brushed with tung oil, large sheets of mica, or other things that were considered transparent in ancient times.The bricks inside were very broken, some red and some blue, stuck in the gray-yellow mortar, like a mosaic of unknown meaning.Afterwards these things were no longer visible.Because someone always draws a half-sitting nude woman with her elbows raised on the wall; someone always adds hairy organs and Lao Lu's name on it;As a result, the wall was painted whiter and thicker, and the bricks inside the wall were no longer visible.Everything inside the wall gradually moved away from me.This incident seems to me to have a vague meaning: when a wall is translucent, there seems to be another world behind it, and the world seems bigger at this time.It later becomes opaque, and the world is even smaller.The walls in the toilets I saw in 1974 were like this.I was not a painter at the time, and I did not study mathematics.I have never done anything, nor do I have any kind of specialized knowledge.Everything is the same as when I cut my wrist, so it can be said that I have retained the simplicity and innocence of the six-year-old.The only thing I can do is watch the world and figure out when I hit the lottery.And the world did close around me.Does this mean I'm going to hit the jackpot soon? Back in time, I went to the United States to study abroad and lived in New England, where it was always raining and there was always a sour fragrance of flowers.There is always a thin layer of moisture in the air, like looking out of a car's windshield wiped by the wipers on a rainy day.The road is always dark, reflecting the taillights of cars.It was only four o'clock in the afternoon, and the red anti-collision lights on the tall buildings were turned on, as if the whole world was blinking.The air seems to be very thin, and the surroundings seem to be very open. New England seems to be very thin water, and Beijing seems to be very thick air.Going out to class and working part-time during the day, and coming back to do things with my wife at night, I don't think it's interesting.This may be because it is surrounded by foreigners, or it may be because it is very open.I can do anything I want, but I don't want to do anything.I always feel like this is not where I am because my story is not in this place. Going back in time, I was a child, standing on the balcony of our house. At that time, I looked like I was four or five years old. I hadn’t experienced what happened later, so I should forget everything.My story hasn't started yet, everything is unknown.The sun shone warmly on my body, and I raised my head to look at the sun. I didn't feel that it was a glare at all, and that it would be a thing of the future; at that time it was just a golden oval.I didn't know anything at the time, but my heart wasn't empty either.Love, hate, boredom, obsession, etc., are like small open umbrellas, none of which are lost, and are all attached to me.I look at the sun, I am a dandelion.Afterwards these things drifted away like catkins in the wind.When I got back to China, I thought, this is where the dandelions scatter.I set out from here to find the magic, and I will eventually return to this place. Pushing back the time to the spring of 1974, when I was a tutor, I had no idea how this matter would end. I only knew that I would see X Haiying every afternoon and spend three to four hours with her.It never occurred to me at the time that she was a woman, let alone that she had sex organs and could have sex with me.I have never seen whether her breasts are square or round, and I dare not speculate.At that time, she was nothing more than a faceless person sitting in an office to me.It snowed during the day, and the snow that fell on the roof remained, while the snow that fell on the ground melted.The tofu factory and the courtyard within it become a chess board—white squares, black squares.I walked through the blocks to her office.First Lao Lu arrested me, and now X Haiying pressed me for questioning.I can't really tell how tired I am of things like this, because when will things like this end.Although there is no foul smell in the air and it is fresh and cold, it brings pleasure when inhaled into the lungs; the exhaled breath turns into wisps of white smoke, but this kind of boredom will never be lessened by it.This mood later passed.But this happened.What has happened cannot be changed.Later X Haiying said: "If you feel resentful, you can beat me up like Zhan Ba."但是她搞错了，我揍毡巴是出于爱。And the nerve of hatred has long since died in me. I got tired of my dad in six or six years, but he was still my dad.I got tired of X Haiying again in '74, but then I had a sexual relationship with her again.I never got bored of anyone or anything after that.Now the leader of our institute came to me and said that we also want to catch up with the world's advanced level, and asked me to write down the details of the mechanical dog I made in the United States.It was utterly uninteresting, but I didn't say no.Not only that, I also bought the whitest and thickest paper on the market, black drawing ink, and used a dip pen to write long imitation Song characters. Each character is 2x3 mm in size, and the font is as standardized as lead type.There is absolutely nothing defaced on the materials I turn in, so no matter what I write, every page is a work of art.But in this way, I write very slowly, and no one is embarrassed to rush me.And they talked behind their backs: I didn't expect Lao Wang to be such a person—before that, they called me Xiao Wang.What kind of person I am, they don't really know.Even I don't really know.In the past, I would never want to redo something I did, but now I am writing a report on work done years ago.Does this mean that I am really old?In fact, my heart is still the same as before, thinking that writing such things is completely useless, but it is inevitable.I'm only forty years old, and I still have a long way to go in life.I can't just be bored all the time. 5 When I hated X Haiying, I thought of Zhan Ba.Me, him, and X Haiying, and later a triangle.I've seen them both naked. X Haiying's skin is brown and shiny, and the shape of its body is concave and convex.Zhan Ba's body was white and dull, like a piece of porcelain, scrawny and childish.In winter he wears corduroy clothes, woolen earmuffs on his ears, and a black woolen scarf.The scarf was extremely long, and when he wore it, he looked very graceful; moreover, he also wore woolen fingerless gloves.These things are all made by himself.Zhan Ba ​​knows how to do woolen work, and once knit a woolen vest for me.If he is willing to undergo sex reassignment surgery, I will definitely marry him.Regardless of whether the operation is successful or not, or whether his breasts are big or not, you must marry him.Of course, if such a thing happened, X Haiying could neither get me nor Zhan Ba, and he would be completely bankrupt. After X Haiying and Zhan Ba ​​got married, she often came to me and told me about Zhan Ba's deeds.He often lay naked on his stomach on the double bed, with one foot turned upside down.Zhan Ba's feet are wearing size 45 shoes, which is size 12 according to the American size.Except for two red spots on the back heel and two red marks on the seat where he sat, the rest of the place was pale.The whole Zhan Ba ​​looked pale.Zhan Ba's buttocks were very flat, just a long thing that looked like a cow's footprint.He lay prone on the bed like this, reading a book on internal medicine, picking his nose with his little finger.It was 1980, and the summer was very sweltering. X Haiying no longer combs her big braids, but wears her shoulder-length hair instead, so that the hair looks very much.She didn't wear her old army uniform either, but a skirt instead, which made her look good.She said that Zhan Ba ​​looked very funny, no matter how she looked at it, she wanted to laugh, and couldn't hold back when she did that thing, because Zhan Ba's dick was so ridiculous when it was erect.When hugging Zhan Ba's naked body, he wanted to laugh even more, and always felt that the whole thing was wrong.With these strange feelings, Zhan Ba ​​felt very cute.When we met, I wanted to kiss her because she was Zhan Ba's wife.I wasn't interested in her before, but it's different when I get to Zhan Ba. It seems that Zhan Ba's cuteness has been transmitted to her.But she wouldn't let me kiss my lips, only my cheek.Said that Zhan Ba ​​should not be too sorry.Then we talked about Zhanba to make fun of him.This is because we all love Zhan Ba, and the word "love" is very cruel.This is also because I was in a good mood at the time and was not so pessimistic. I love Zhan Ba ​​because he has black and white skin with a single punch, a pair of big protruding ears, a pair of big feet, and he always yells in frustration.他一点都不爱我，而且一说到我揍过他一顿，而且打他时勃起了，就切齿痛恨。This gnashing of teeth made me love him all the more.He loves X Haiying and X Haiying loves me, it's because one day we were both in X shape and I lay on top of her.I really like thinking about beating up Zhan Ba, but I don't like thinking about lying on X Haiying's body.Because the latter is the kind of love I don't like. Now it's time to talk about why I hate X Seahawks.It all started because she kept talking about my hemorrhoids—"Your hemorrhoids are ugly!"—and every time she said that to me, she made eye contact with me.While talking, she turned her face to the side, her eyes were still looking at me, with a look of deep hatred on her face.Then I saw that her eyes were yellow, with catlike narrow pupils.I don't know whether she hates me or hemorrhoids.After being stimulated by this, I can't help but talk about college students of color.She listened very carefully, and she never forgot to say the last sentence "It's disgusting!"She later told me that my hemorrhoids were actually not that ugly, and that my affair with the college student named Color wasn't actually disgusting.These two statements are diametrically opposed, so one of them must be false.But to me, it doesn't matter which one is true and which one is false.Importantly, I was deeply irritated by the former statement.My loathing for her has become irrevocable.