Chapter 2 Part 1 Chapter 2

Chapter two I am now a historian, and further clarification is necessary about this profession.Now we have a history law, which provides the definition of history: "History is the most simple and uncontradictory interpretation of known historical data".I remember this is what the logical positivists said, but this law does not explain it.Typically, thieves are reluctant to reveal from whom they have stolen everything in their home.It seems by definition that there can only be one history, and that all historians should be out of work.But the historical law then stipulates that: "Historical materials are: 1. Documents; 2. Archaeological discoveries; 3. Historians' statements".Anyone with a brain will find that this 3 is simply wonderful. If you want to live a happy life, you only need to get a license as a historian.Now there is also a little saying, which stipulates that "fiction must be purely fictional, and there must be no overlap with historical facts", whether you have a brain or not, you will soon find out that they have put the little life in our hands inside.There are now twenty novelists applying for my graduate program, but I can only admit one a year.This situation shows that if my uncle is still alive, he must be very unlucky.Maybe he still has to apply for my postgraduate degree.

Auntie Xiaoyao still believes that it was the right choice for her to marry my uncle. She said it was because my uncle is very sexy.I said, where is he sexy?She said, your uncle is very kind, and it is a joy to have sex with a kind person.I asked: Do you often have sex?She said: not often.After thinking for a while, I said: I rarely do it.Besides, she couldn't quite tell what kindness was.This situation shows that her intelligence is limited. It is enough to marry a businessman or a physicist, but it is not enough to marry a historian. F also thinks my uncle is sexy, but this sexy has nothing to do with kindness.She sometimes thinks of my uncle's well-developed pectoralis major, his tight abdomen, and that big shiny scar—the scar looks like a tightly closed mouth—and wants to see him again.In addition, she missed my uncle's expressionless face and silently drooping genitals, and she felt that there was a kind of dignity hidden behind them.This idea is quite weird, but it is not without reason.During her working hours, she has seen many men's faces, some with flattering smiles, some flushed with anger, no matter whether they are flattering smiles or anger, they have no dignity; she has also seen many male genitals, some of them were Hidden behind spread fingers, some stand arrogantly upright; but there is no dignity in either case.In contrast, she likes my uncle's neither humble nor overbearing attitude.So she often went to the mountain road to wait for him, but my uncle never came again.

Afterwards my uncle never went to that park again because he didn't think it was very pleasant to lift his trousers.But he has been waiting for F to come.He felt that F would definitely look for him, and it was impossible for this matter to pass easily, so he stayed at home and waited.They waited and waited like this until the whole spring passed. At the end of summer, Auntie Yao decided to marry my uncle.The decision was made without a word from my uncle.Every morning she came to our house to wait for my uncle, but my uncle didn't come every day.When the morning was about to pass, she felt that she couldn't wait any longer, so she went shopping with me.She is a head taller than me in high heels, but I don't think it's a problem, I will still grow taller.The results turned out to be as I expected. I am now over 1.90 meters tall, and I am a little hunchbacked.At that time, I was wearing a pair of plastic slippers, a small vest and sports shorts, and I followed behind Aunt Yao, my arms and legs were very dirty.She lectured me and said: Little boys are just not decent.Girls at your age already know how to dress up.I said calmly: Your gender is vain.The old-fashioned tone startled her.I remember her running into the lingerie shop and making me wait outside.When she was resting in the fast food restaurant, she showed a little doubtful tone: What do you think your uncle is doing now?I said: He was probably sleeping.After hearing this, Auntie Xiaoyao's fair face turned dark, and she said viciously: Damn it!How dare he sleep on such a day!This is an important lesson: you must seize the right time to sow dissension.Of course my uncle may have been sleeping, but he must have been sleeping at home because he was feeling very unwell that day.I went on to say that my uncle was a mathematician before he wanted to be a writer, and that men of both professions are extremely unreliable husbands.After hearing these words, Auntie Yao pondered for a while, then tightened the belt of the dress, straightened her chest and said: It's okay.He must be dragged into the water.Auntie Xiaoyao is an educated woman, this kind of woman is naturally interested in the unlucky, so it cannot be saved.

In early summer, when F came to see my uncle, he was wearing a white shirt with black dots, a black suspender skirt, a bow tie with a black ribbon, and a small black leather bag. These black colors made my uncle recognizable. she comes.My uncle lived on the fourteenth floor, and the corridor was very dark.He was through the security door, and he didn't say a word.It wasn't until F said: Can I come in that he opened the anti-theft door and let her walk in—she was wearing a pair of black high-heeled shoes that day—and walked towards the bright place and walked straight into me. In my uncle's bedroom, I sat down on a chair, hung my bag on the chair, and said, "I'll come to read your novel."My uncle glanced at the table and said: It's all here.The table is full of manuscript paper, some are brown, some are yellowish, and some are white.After returning from the park, my uncle found all the manuscripts and put them on the table, and she took one in her hand.My uncle lived in the kind of one-to-one apartment. There are no more houses like this now. The bedroom is connected to the balcony, and the door is open. F took a look out of the manuscript and said: Your house is not bad.My uncle sat on the bed behind her and wanted to say "the house belongs to my brother" (I also have an uncle who does business in Eastern Europe), but didn't.He thought: Since she came to investigate, she must know about it.Then she said: Pour me a cup of tea, and my uncle will go into the kitchen. F took this opportunity to search my uncle's drawers, and opened the chained drawers.A box of condoms was found.When my uncle came back with tea, she smiled and held up this and that and said: What's going on?My uncle was stunned for a moment, and wanted to say: "This is my brother's" (this is the truth), but thinking that it would be a despicable act to betray my little uncle, he said: "It's the same as my smoking."This means that my uncle does not smoke, and he can have cigarettes in his pocket.But F somehow thought of something, and suddenly blushed.She threw the condom back into the drawer, locked the drawer, then threw the key to my uncle and said: Put it away, and then took the cup of tea.This time it was my uncle's turn to flush: where did this key come from?Of course, it was taken from her treasure key, so it was a small gift.

My family lives on the first floor, so just like other people's homes, an open space is surrounded by iron fences in front of the door as a yard.The front of the building we live in is full of open spaces like this.Some people say it's like a concentration camp, some say it's like a pig farm, you name it.But I am very happy with this yard.There is an Ailanthus tree in the yard. I put a table and a white deck chair under the tree, and I often sit there and meditate.Next to me, under the white cloth, are the tiles left over from the toilet renovation and the squat toilet that was replaced.There is a small tent next to the toilet, and sometimes I sleep in it in the middle of the night, and then hide in the house with a big bag full of mosquito bites.This is the life of a philosopher.It is not desirable that someone has never lived the life of a philosopher.Someone who lives the life of a philosopher all his life is of course a worthless thing.I was thirteen years old that year, and after that year, I was no longer interested in philosophy.Under that tree, on that chair, I came to some conclusions and wrote them down on pieces of paper with symbols I only knew.I still have the slips of paper, but none of the symbols are recognizable.Some of the things I can remember are as follows: Everyone has some resources in their life, for example: longevity, intelligence, health, body, sex life; some people are ready to consume them in exchange for novelty, happiness, etc. Auntie Yao is That's it; there are still people who are going to use it to make some money, so they care about it, which is not flattering.Besides these two types of people, there are other types, but I think the other types are among the stupid ones.I like people like Auntie Yao very much, and I am very fascinated by her body; whenever I think about these things, that little dick that looks like an eggplant handle will stand upright.But how much of this enthusiasm came from philosophical speculation and how much from reverie about her body, I can't tell.One thing is for sure, my taste for philosophy has not been that consistent.I think Confucius also had a similar experience, so he said: I have never seen a person who loves virtue as much as lust. "I haven't seen" of course including myself, the old man must have had a crush on someone, so he doubted himself.

2 As I said, when I was thirteen years old, I was very keen on Aunt Yao's body.I even thought, if only I were her.Then I would have short black hair, fair skin, and run around in dresses with heavy breasts.This last one is a bit tiring in my opinion, but it is also very enjoyable.Of course, if I were her, I wouldn't marry my uncle.I seriously thought, if I were Auntie Yao, who would share my beautiful body, after much deliberation, I felt that no one deserved it; I had no choice but to keep it and be an old maid for the rest of my life.That summer, mosquitoes bit me a lot on my legs, all while I was sleeping in the yard.The sky is full of stars at night, I am very free in the yard, I can think about anything.If a Chinese enjoys freedom of thought, he must be only thirteen years old; or, like my uncle, he has a heart that has long since died, rotted and stinking.

I also said that now I have a talisman—I'm a historian, and history isn't for everyone.With it, you can write down what you want to say, but it is not a panacea.If I was young, there was another amulet.As we all know, our country protects women and children.Some novelists write in the names of their wives and daughters, but there are limits to this, and maybe a family of three will get involved.The best talisman was the one my uncle had.The heart is rotten, and the person is dying, so what is there to be afraid of?Besides, the heart is the organ of fear; if it doesn't beat violently, you don't know fear at all.I have never seen what my uncle is afraid of.

F read a novel written by my uncle, and sneezed after reading a few pages.This is because my uncle's manuscript has not been touched much since it was written, and with the passage of time, more and more soil has been accumulated on it.I don't like my uncle, but since I'm writing his biography, I have to write more.This guy has studied mathematics, and people who study mathematics are eccentric, and he is keen on the most unpopular and troublesome meta-mathematics in mathematics, so eccentricity is added to eccentricity.For a while, he was studying for a Ph.D. degree in an American university. During class, he sat in the front row with a sad face and his face propped up in his hands. In addition, he had to use a computer to type out a paper every week and send it to every mailbox in the whole department. Of course, he was regarded as a genius.Later, he felt chest tightness and shortness of breath, and couldn't hold on anymore.The foreigner asked him to have an operation, but he thought that it would be better to die at home, so he dropped out of school and went home.Later, he lived in my little uncle's house and wrote novels there; of course, it can also be said that he was waiting for a hospital bed for surgery, but the waiting time was a bit too long.He himself said that when the chest was pulled open, it must be fishy and smelly, black and green inside.But until the end, no one opened his chest, so the situation inside is unknown.In the last century, anyone who wanted to have an operation had to give some money to the people in the hospital, which was called red envelopes, or labor fees, or kickbacks. I personally think that the last term is really weird, and it would be more appropriate to call it a slaughter tax.My uncle was not enthusiastic about getting on the operating table as soon as possible, because he didn't clean up well last time, so he didn't give him any money, and hid in the house to write some novels that badly changed my little uncle.

F looked at those novels, and laughed after a while of sneezing.Then she took off her high heels, wrapped her hips with a skirt, and turned her feet up on the table, exposing her legs wrapped in black stockings.She also took out a small bottle of nail polish from her bag and put it on the edge of the table; she put my uncle's manuscript on her lap, and put her hand on it, and painted her nails while she read it.It was a morning in early summer, and although it was hot outside, it was still quite cool inside the building. After finishing her nails, she spread her legs apart, wrapped my uncle's manuscript in her skirt, and looked down.Later, she took out another bag of pistachios from her bag, handed it to my uncle without looking back, and said: Open it for me.My uncle opened the pistachio with scissors and handed it to her.She put the mouth of the bag under her nose and smelled it, then handed the bag to my uncle and said, "Hum.My uncle didn't understand what he meant, so he didn't answer. After "呶" for a while, she took back the bag and ate by herself.Meanwhile, my uncle sat on the bed sweating coldly.I would do the same thing if there was a guy in black sitting in my office opening my computer files one by one.Even so, he still found that the woman's teeth were so strong that she could crush anything.

I think now: In my uncle's story, it's important that F is a woman in black.In the summer of that year, an Austrian opera troupe came to Beijing to perform. There were a large number of tickets that could not be sold, so they entertained middle school teachers for free. Auntie Yao bought three tickets and wanted my mother to go too, but my mother refused. I was willing to suffer that, so I went and sat between my uncle and Auntie Yao.It was The Magic Flute that night, and it was the best play I've ever seen.My uncle's hand was always on my shoulder, and Auntie Yao's hand was always pinching my neck, otherwise I would jump up and sing along.When the meeting was over, I was still emotional, and my uncle was silent.Auntie Xiaoyao said, I didn't quite understand this play.What is the queen of the night, the maid of darkness, what is it?My uncle said: Mozart was not too different in those days and now.What he meant was that Mozart was dumbing down everyone.I'm not Mozart either, so I don't know if what he said is right.All in all, there are several women in black clothes in that scene, dancing and dancing, looking very authentic.I also know another story, that is, there was a debt collection company, hired a group of people, put on black suits, dressed up as if they were going to a funeral, followed the debtor's buttocks, and within a long time, that person would definitely pay the debt .I said F was dressed in black, obviously inspired by these stories.But the terrible thing about these people is not that we owe him money, nor that they want to kill us, but that we don't know what they want to do, and they are irresistible. F is one of these people.She sat on my uncle's chair and read his manuscript, looked at it, raised the glass and said: Bring us some more water.My uncle went to pour water for her.She finished eating the pistachios, took out another bag of melon seeds to crack, and thought my uncle's manuscript was very interesting.In good conscience, my uncle's novels were pretty good in the twentieth century.But this is the twenty-first century.

Now the critics also noticed that F was dressed in black and said everything.Some people say that this is the incarnation of the author himself, more precisely, she is my dark mind.This critic even asserted that I was transgender, but little did I know that I was in such a rush to eunuch myself.I don't think having my testicles removed is a joke, and if I'm so inclined, I should know.Another reviewer thought of the fact that the uniforms of the SS were black, and the comparison was unbearable.None of them thought of The Magic Flute.But I also admit that it is really not easy to think of. Auntie Yao’s body was beautiful in the 20th century, and it’s not bad in the 21st century, but it contains artificial components: for example, the skin is pulled out, and the breasts contain silicone rubber, which is hard and hard to touch. It hurts a bit on the face.I don't know what it will look like in the future, maybe it will become a 100% artificial product.Behind the artificial ingredients, she was old, acting upside down, and having sex without orgasms.After finishing each time, she would bite her fingers and think for a while, and then said: You are the one who did it wrong!Like all women who study physics, she is too opinionated to be liked when she gets old.I showed her the finished biography, and she shook her head as she read it, and then wrote me a thirty-page memo, which read: "1. When did I wear black? 2. When will I go to Xiangshan to sweep the ground? ’ and so on. The final question is: “Have you ever smoked cocaine lately?” "I told her that F is not her, and she exclaimed, "Really?" I fell into deep thought. After thinking for a while, I said: If this is the case, it is not surprising what he (my uncle) looked like later. The words of Aunt Xiao Yao show that as long as F is not her, this biography is completely credible Yes. This is not a low evaluation, because although F is not Aunt Yao, my uncle is still my uncle. Compared with some biographies where everyone written is not themselves, this biography is very real. 3 My uncle lived in Beijing in 1999, when he was waiting for an operation bed and writing a novel.One day he went to the park to play, and met a woman F in black.Later F went to his hut to read his unpublished novels.To him, this woman is unpredictable and irresistible.Having explained this, everything else falls into place. F sat on a chair and read a novel, kneading sunflower seeds, feeling very cool.The same can be said for this: She feels comfortable.Later, she decided to make herself more comfortable, so she fished with her right hand in the approximate direction of my uncle, but she didn't catch anything.So she spat out the melon seeds in her mouth and said, "Where have you been?"Sit closer.Then she went on cracking sunflower seeds, and took another handful, which ended up in my uncle's right ear.Then she worked her way down her chin, all the way to the collar button, and undid it, and undid another button on her breast, and put her hand in.She remembered that there was a scar on my uncle's chest, smooth and shiny, like a child's lips, and she wanted to touch that spot.But she felt her hands were wet.So she put down the legs of the chair, turned around and saw that my uncle looked like a sorbet with paper in the sun, not only sweated, but also out of shape.So she laughed: Yo!You are so hot.Take off your shirt.Then she looked down at the novel again.My uncle thought: I have no choice, so I stood up, took off my shirt and put it on the bed, and took a deep breath. F read another three or four lines, then raised his head to see that my uncle was standing at the door with his upper body shirtless.As I have said before, my uncle is a big man with a tiger's body, and he looks good with his upper body bare. F also found some sweat stains on my uncle's trousers, so he said, "Take off the trousers too."My uncle took off his trousers and stood barefoot at the door. F lowered his head and continued to read the novel, and was still digging seeds.There was a draft at the door, which dried my uncle's sweat.My uncle stood with his hands down for a while, feeling a little tired, so he clasped his hands behind his head and tilted his head back vigorously.At this moment, F suddenly felt a little sore in his neck, so he raised his head to look at my uncle.My uncle hurriedly stood with his hands down, F continued to kowtow melon seeds, and tilted his head with a little smile in his eyes.My uncle immediately thought that his panties were a bit tattered.As we all know, my uncle's generation suffered hardships and suffered from poverty, so they were excessively thrifty.Later, she tilted the manuscript paper and dumped the melon seeds on the ground.Then I put on my high heels, stood up, put down my manuscript, picked up my bag, walked up to my uncle and said: Your underwear is not good.My uncle's face turned red.Then she pointed to my uncle's scar and said: Can I?My uncle didn't know what to say and was noncommittal.So she bent down, touched my uncle's scar lightly with her lips, and said, "I'll read your novel next time, I've folded the pages, don't mess them up for me; then walk away Lost.After my uncle closed the door, he went to the bathroom to take a shower, then lay down and fell asleep.I slept until the afternoon and didn't even eat lunch. Auntie Yao said, my uncle's chest is cold, and if you put your ears to it, you can still hear the sound of a distant place behind.She also liked his scar, not only kissed with her lips, but also rubbed up with her nose.I have encountered this situation several times: Auntie Yao was half lying on the couch in my house, her hair was disheveled, and her face was flushed; my uncle was sitting beside her, with three or four buttons on his chest unbuttoned, and his hands on his knees up, straight as a penguin.Auntie Xiaoyao said that if the intimacy lasts too long, my uncle will say in a very gentlemanly manner: I feel a little tight in the chest.She thought my uncle acted like a fat, easy-going girl who met sweets, which was very cute; but I think this association is not only far-fetched, but also homosexual. I think Auntie Yao has a lot of misunderstandings about my uncle. For example, my uncle speaks slowly and calmly.She said: Listening to your uncle, you know he is a good man.In fact, every sentence of my uncle is organized according to mathematical logic, not only is there no error, but also no ambiguity; there is not even a "ummmahah".A free-spirited man like me, hearing him talk, finds him not only annoying but hateful.In fact, he's very stuffy and supposedly repulsive.But a woman like Auntie Yao didn't wait to find out that he was old-fashioned, so she stuck with him. Now Auntie Yao is not happy to hear me talk about my uncle, but she would like to hear me talk about F.After I came to her place, she would always let me go to the bedroom, and then she would sit on the bed and pick up my feet—of course, don’t take it literally, in fact, she used various tools to Trimming the toenails, but the force of turning them over and over again is like picking your feet.This time she was wearing a short pajamas.Although her legs and feet are very beautiful, I don't like to see this sight; so I said: You can go to the beauty parlor and get a pedicure.She replied: Wait until I win the lawsuit.While focusing on her feet, she asked: What does F look like?I said: Guess what.She looked up at me and said: You wrote that she wears purple eyes and purple lipstick?I said: Yes.She lowered her head, continued to tidy up her feet, and said: This girl must be dark.I said to myself: Why didn't I think of it; quickly took out a notebook and wrote it down.She also said: tie a bow tie with a ribbon, and the lines on the neck must be pretty.And she wasn't afraid to show her whole leg, she must be slim, but not too tall because of the high heels.High nose bridge, big eyes, curly hair - a bit Malay.Then she asked me: what does F look like.I said: If you didn't tell me, I really don't know what it looks like.Later, she wanted to see a photo of F, so I found one in a pictorial like this, which was a flight attendant of Thai Airways; scanned it into the computer, printed it out with a laser, and processed it in the middle, so I can’t say it’s completely authentic. That stewardess——I'm going to use this photo for an illustration, so don't get into a portrait rights lawsuit.After getting the photo, Auntie Xiaoyao looked at her for a long time and said, "It's quite lovable."Can I get to know you?I said: what are you doing?Are you gay?Push her back.Otherwise, I have to fly to Thailand and invite the flight attendant's mother, because if F was the flight attendant's appearance nearly twenty years ago, she must be the flight attendant's mother now.This incident can be explained as follows: F was in Beijing in 1999, and later took a mission to Thailand, where she got married and gave birth to this flight attendant.It can be said that my history is rigorous, and at the same time it brings a mysterious atmosphere to the whole story.But it would be troublesome to write it this way, so let's omit these details. 4 Auntie Yao can testify to one thing, that is, my uncle has a BP machine, which often screams like a cricket.He himself said that some business associates were calling him, but that wasn't necessarily the case.Once at my house, after a quarrel, he dialed back, and the other party immediately said after hearing him say a few words: Why are you a man!Another time, after he dialed, he heard F's thick mezzo-soprano: "Are you home?" This voice was exactly the same as the late American singer Carpenter.He said: Eating at my sister's house.Do you want to go back right away? F said, then no need.See you again another day.After my uncle returned from my house, he stopped going out from the next day.This might explain why Auntie Xiaoyao couldn't wait for him.Anyway, I don't have any complaints about it, but that's not the case with Auntie Yao.In the shopping mall, every time she saw a man and a woman being very affectionate, she would say viciously: "I'm going to kill your uncle!"But much later, my uncle was still alive.Hearing this, I raised my head and passed my arm over.She walked up a few steps with my arm, then laughed and said: Forget it, let me take you away.Some people grow very tall when they are in the first grade of junior high school, but I am not, so I suffered a lot.In the second year of junior high school, I started to grow crazy, but it was too late.All in all, that summer, I was 1.32 meters tall, and I didn't look like a passionate seed.Every time she asked me to wait for her outside the dressing room, I would only wait for a short while, and then I would suddenly lie down on the ground, look in from under the curtain, and see Auntie Yao standing tall on her two smooth long legs , took a skirt in his hand, and said to me: "Boy, you are not afraid that others will catch you!"However, no one came to catch me. This is the advantage of 1.32 meters, and it is dangerous to exceed 1.5 meters. When my uncle saw F for the second time at home, he asked her: Are you working now?She can answer: come to your place during working hours?Dare I?Answering like this will do my uncle's heart a certain favor.But she felt that such an answer was not romantic enough, so she replied: Don't inquire about things that shouldn't be asked.My uncle immediately shut his mouth tightly, and thought: Well, even if you stab me with a knife, I won't ask any more questions.I personally think that the best way to deal with a big man like him is to hit him in the back of the head with a pistol.It was in my uncle's hallway, and F was dressed the same as last time, except for a bigger bag.She walked past my uncle, and my uncle followed her.She found the manuscript in the bedroom and was about to sit down and read it when she heard someone honking the horn downstairs, so she ran to the balcony with the manuscript and said, "Hi!Then he said: Look at the sign!just came back.At that time, a man drove a car to enter the yard, saw another car blocking the way, and honked his horn for a while.After listening to F's advice, he looked down at the license plate of the car in front of him, saw that it was the car of the police, got into his own car, reversed it, and drove to another place.My uncle also saw this scene from another window.Then she sat back in the old place, suddenly put down the manuscript and said: I almost forgot; she opened the purse, took out a lot of cotton fabrics wrapped in plastic, handed it to my uncle and said: I bought underwear for you.My uncle didn’t speak English for several years, so he couldn’t react for a while, but he still took it honestly, put those things on the bed, and then sat on the bed himself. F continued to read novels and cracked seeds.After a while she said: How is it?My uncle said: What?Oh, underwear.He picked up a bag and looked at it, and found that it was rolled up like a roll of kelp, there were yellow, green, blue, all made in China, pure cotton underwear for export to domestic sales, printed on the package The hips of the man wearing that kind of underwear, with a masculine look.Although they are all XL, they don't seem to contain more fiber than a pair of socks when pinched.He said: Thank you. F sprayed out two slices of melon seeds without raising his head, and said: Go and try.My uncle was stunned for a while, picked up a bag of underwear, went to the bathroom, took off his clothes there, hung them on the clothes hook, and then put on the underwear, feeling that they were very wrapped; then he came out, Standing on the edge of the door.This time F sat sideways on the chair to read the manuscript, leaned his right hand on the back of the chair, and knocked melon seeds with his left.The ground soon became full of melon seeds.Not only did my uncle not crack sunflower seeds, but he also didn’t eat any kind of snacks, so he was shocked to see a field of melon seed skins, and wanted to take a broom to clean it.But he thought again: the behavior of a person who does not eat snacks is likely to be an offense to those who eat snacks.So he just stood there and didn't move. When Aunt Xiao Yao came home, she was carrying a handbag full of things.I asked her: What did you buy?She took out a bag of cotton underwear from her bag, a set of bra and briefs, and it was water red.She asked me: Will your uncle like this color?I stared at the woman's body on the label paper in a daze, and then said: If you don't put it on and show it to me, how will I know.She tapped a finger on my forehead and put the thing back in her bag.At this time, I saw a large number of these plastic bags in her bag, and the clothes inside were red, yellow, and green.When I got home, she asked my mother: Sister, what is your bust size?This shows that she encountered a bargain, bought too much, and wanted to sell some.Now she still has this problem, the shoes in the hall can't be worn by three centipedes. Women taking to the streets are always like hunters carrying guns into the mountains, but the target of hunting is different.For example, my grandma always brought a plastic net bag when she went to the street; and every time she saw me going out, she would give me a dollar and said: buy a bundle of green onions.Of course, women nowadays are less interested in green onions, but the nature of women is still the same as in the past. F saw what she thought were good men's underwear on the street and bought a dozen. There was nothing difficult about this incident.After she bought these things, she came to my uncle's house, asked my uncle to wear them, and sat on a chair to crack sunflower seeds and read novels.One thing must be said is that my uncle didn't understand what she meant at all, he didn't want to ask, and he didn't care. 5 Auntie Yao is dating my uncle, and I always try to eavesdrop.This matter is not difficult to handle, the back window of her house is facing my yard, only ten meters away from my tent.We have an old stereo at home, and my mother asked me to fix it after it broke, but the more I repaired it, the worse it became, so she stopped asking for it.In fact, there is nothing wrong with that machine, and the original problem was also created by me.When Auntie Yao was not at home, I pried open her back window and put the wireless microphone in her sofa, so I could listen to their conversations in the tent with FM and record them.Because my uncle grew up among boys, Auntie Yao called him "Boss".One day, Aunt Xiao Yao heard their neighbors talking on the radio, and she said: Boss, something is wrong!Then he said: We didn't say anything!My uncle roared "Hello" twice, and then said, "Wait for me a moment".When I heard this, I fled from the tent and took the tape with me, but the stereo was too bulky to carry, so my uncle found it, and soon found the microphone in the sofa.Fortunately, they were more generous and didn't tell my mother.Auntie Xiao Yao shaved my face with her fingers when she saw me, which made me very embarrassed.The lesson of this incident is: If you want to eavesdrop on other people's speech, you must have excellent equipment, otherwise you will definitely be exposed.I heard Auntie Yao asked my uncle to tell about himself, and he said: I have been waiting all my life.Aunt Xiao Yao said excitedly: Really, who are you waiting for?My uncle was silent for a while and said: Wait to study mathematics, wait to publish novels.Aunt Xiaoyao said with a drawn out voice: Really.and then?My uncle said: I am still waiting.Aunt Xiao Yao said: Oh.Then you just wait.As she said that, she kicked and walked out.This incident shows that my uncle only cares about himself, and that women like to be waited on.After the wiretapping was discovered, I told Aunt Yao: I have been waiting for you.She heard it and said: Bah!What have you been waiting for, how old are you? When we were in school, the teacher told us that there should be two attitudes in the study of history. One is a scientific attitude, that is, say what you say; the other is a party spirit attitude, that is, you don’t say anything .Although these two attitudes contradict each other, we cannot bang our heads against the city wall.These teachings are very important.If I included the microphone in my uncle's biography, I'd be dead.We all know that bugs are all around us.I want to know what my uncle and Aunt Xiaoyao said on their wedding night, and the relevant departments also want to know what we are talking about.If I write like this, can it not be an insinuation or an attack? F在他家里时，我舅舅靠门站着，一声不吭。后来她终于看完了一段，抬起头来看我舅舅，把他上下打量了一番后，面露笑容，偏着头磕了一粒瓜子，说：挺帅的，不是吗。我舅舅在心里说：什么帅不帅，我可不知道。然后她又低头去看小说，看一会儿就抬头看一眼我舅舅，好像一位画家在看自己的画。但我舅舅可不是她画的。他是我姥姥生的，生完之后又吃了四十年粮食才长到这么大，不过这一点和有些人很难说明白。她只顾看我舅舅宽阔的胸膛，深凹的腹部，还有内裤上方凸现的六块腹肌。那条内裤窄窄的，里面兜了满满的一堆。她对这个景象很满意，就从桌子上捞起个杯子说：去，给咱倒杯水来。我舅舅接过那个杯子去倒水，感到如释重负。