Chapter 35 Chapter Thirty-Five

Now, nearly forty years later, as I sit here looking back on that night with the President, all the painful voices in my heart have been silenced for that moment.Ever since I left Yoro, I've worried that every turn of the wheel of fortune will place another obstacle in my path.Of course, this kind of worry and struggle has always enriched my life.Every foothold counts as we swim upstream in rough undercurrents. But since the president became my Dana, life has softened into a comfortable and happy day.I began to feel like a tree that had finally put its roots deep into the fertile soil.I never thought I was luckier than other people before, but now I do.But I have to say that it took me a long time to live a contented life before I looked back and realized that life was a wasteland.I think it is only when we are out of the plight that we can speak frankly about our pain.

I grew up with such silly hopes, always imagining that life would be perfect if I became the president's mistress.It's a naive thought, but even now that I'm an adult, I still think so.I should have known better: How many times have I learned painful lessons that, while we hoped we could pull out the barbs that stuck in our flesh, they left scars that didn't heal.I have permanently excluded Nobu from my life, and not only have I lost his friendship, but I have also permanently excluded myself from Gion. The reason is simple, I should have known it would happen.A man who wins what a friend craves faces a dilemma: if he can, hide it where his friend will never see it, or suffer a broken friendship.That was the problem between me and Pumpkin, our friendship never recovered after I was adopted.So the chairman negotiated with my mother for several months about becoming a danna, and finally reached an agreement that I could no longer be a geisha.But my mother disagrees, if I am no longer a member of the Nitta family, she will no longer be able to receive an annuity from the president.That's why later the chairman promised to give the art gallery a lot of money every month, on the condition that my mother agrees to let me not be a geisha.I still live in the art hall as before, but I don’t have to go to the elementary school in the morning, wander around Gion to attend some special occasions, and of course I don’t have to go to the banquet at night.

In the spring of the year after I became the chairman's mistress, he bought a luxurious house in the northeast corner of Kyoto.It was originally used to entertain the company's VIPs, but in fact the chairman used it more than anyone else.He and I spend three or four nights a week there, sometimes more.We talked and ate dinner and watched the servants light the lamps in the garden. Usually after a long time, we will talk about work for a while.He'd tell me what's wrong with a new product, what happened to the truck with the parts, or something like that.Of course I'm happy to sit back and listen, knowing full well that the president didn't say this to me to let me know, but to get these things out of my head.As I listened, I noticed that his tone had softened.At this time, I changed the subject, no longer talking about serious work, but talking about other things casually, such as what happened on his way to work early in the morning, the movie we watched in the nursing home a few days ago, I read from Dou Interesting things I heard there.

The president has two daughters and no sons.He wanted his eldest daughter to marry a man named Minoru Nishisaka, let him marry and inherit his business, but at the last moment, Mr. Nishisaka changed his mind and told the chairman that he did not want to attend the wedding.For more than a week, the president was in a bad mood, scolding the servants and me for no reason.I've never seen him so upset. Although no one told me why Xisaka changed his mind, I actually knew that after he promised to inherit the chairman's career, he found out that he had an illegitimate child... As we all know, the chairman is distressed about having no children, and loves his two children deeply. daughter.Is it possible that he will also love an illegitimate son and hand over the company he founded to this illegitimate son?

After dinner, we sat on the outdoor corridor of "Fuzhen Sanatorium", looking at the moss-covered garden.The president is sulking and hasn't spoken since the food was served. "I've been thinking about Ikritei Chaya," I said, "and, to be honest, I'm starting to realize how much I miss the company days." "Of course, I can't go back to Gion to work, I know that very well. But I thought, Dana... can I open a small tea house in New York?" "I don't know what you're talking about," he said. "You want to leave Japan for no apparent reason."

“It’s as normal for Japanese businessmen and politicians to go to New York these days as turtles into a pond,” I said, “most of them people I’ve known for years. It’s true that it would be sudden to leave Japan, but considering Dana’s future time in the U.S. More and more..." I knew it was because he had told me about his vision for opening a branch in New York. "Sayuri, I'm not interested in this," he said.I thought he had something to say, but I pretended not to hear and continued. "People say that children who grow up in two cultures have a hard time," I said, "so of course, if a mother takes her child to a place like There."

"Sayuri..." "That means," I added, "that a woman who has made such a choice will probably never bring her child back to Japan." By this time the chairman must have understood what I mean, I removed the only obstacle in Japan for Minoru Nishisaka to become his successor.A look of astonishment suddenly appeared on his face.Then, the scene of me leaving him probably appeared in his mind, his anger was smashed like an egg, and a tear gathered in the corner of his eye. In August of that year, I emigrated to New York and opened a small tea house of my own to host Japanese businessmen and politicians traveling to the United States.My little tea house is located near Fifth Avenue, and it has been doing well almost as soon as it opened.Many geisha from Gion come to work with me, and Mameha also visits often.Now only when good friends and old acquaintances come, I personally go to receive them, and usually I have many activities.In the morning I used to go to a group of local Japanese writers and artists, and learn about things we were interested in, such as poetry, music, and for a month we also learned New York history.

When I lift the brocade cover from the mirror, I often think of the milky white make-up I used to use in Gion.I really want to go back and have a look, but I am afraid to see all the changes.Every time a friend from Kyoto shows me a photo, I often think that Gion is like a poorly managed garden, full of weeds.For example, a few years ago, when my mother died, the Xintian Art Museum was demolished, and a small concrete building was built on the site, with a bookstore on the ground floor and two apartments above. When I first arrived in Gion, there were 800 geisha there, but now there are less than 60, and there are not many apprentices.And this number is decreasing day by day.The last time the president was in New York, he and I walked in Central Park.We occasionally talked about the past, when we were walking on a pine forest path, the president stopped suddenly.He often told me that, outside Osaka City, the road in front of his hometown is lined with pine trees.I looked at him and knew he was thinking of them.He propped his dying hands on the cane, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply the scent of the past.

"Sometimes," he sighed, "I think what I remember is more real than what I see." When I was young, I believed that passion fades with age, just as a glass of water in a room evaporates into the air.However, when the president and I returned to the apartment, we toasted to each other, and we still had a deep affection for each other.I began to feel that the people who had died or left me hadn't actually disappeared, but had always lived in me. A few months later, he passed away.I know that it is natural for him to leave me in his old age, just like the leaves of a tree.

Sometimes when I cross Park Avenue, I suddenly have a strange feeling that everything around me seems so strange.The yellow taxi moved forward steadily, honking its horn, and the woman with the handbag saw a little old Japanese woman in a kimono standing on the corner of the street, and her face would show curiosity.But then again, if I go back to Yorocho, won't it feel strange?If Mr. Tanaka hadn't taken me out of the drunk house, I would never have believed that life would be a struggle at such a young age.But now I know that our world ebbs and flows, and there are no constants.No matter how much struggle and success, no matter how much pain and tribulation, it will soon seep into the waves, just like ink and paint splashed on paper.