Chapter 6 six

After the banquet was over, everyone talked for a while, and the second watch gong rang.Young Master Mei became anxious, as if he saw his father's angry eyes looking at him reproachfully.He liked this place, but he didn't dare to stay for a moment, so he had to leave in frustration and go back. Yun stayed at Gao's house.She is relatively free because she does not have a strict father to interfere with her actions.Her widow mother was unwilling to restrain this young heart eager to develop too much.When Yun saw Juexin walking out of the Moon Cave Gate with Mei, her heart was slightly tickled by sympathy.She thought: why shouldn't he be free and happy?But no one answered this question for her, so she stopped thinking about it.

Juexin and Master Mei got off the boat, and Cuihuan rowed them out.The moon is already high in the sky.The water is as bright as a mirror, and the shadows of trees, mountains and moon are reflected on it.Qixia just rowed another boat to send Zhou and Zhang away.A little yellow light was still shaking ahead, but it quickly disappeared into the bushes.There was a burst of laughter from the moon cave door.Shuhua's youthful, ever-joyful voice soothed Juexin's weary heart.The laughter gradually faded, and the regular sound of oars and whispering water sounded in his ears.Their boat was going where there were shadows. "Young master, do you want to make the light 'car' smaller?" Cuihuan Nian saw that the moonlight was shining down unobstructed, and felt that the red and yellow light of the wind and rain lantern hurt his eyes and felt uncomfortable, so he asked Juexin.

"Okay, make the 'car' smaller," Juexin said, nodding in agreement. Cuihuan lowered her oars and turned down the lights.Instead, the karma in the boat became brighter. Juexin looked back and saw that the shore seemed to be covered with a layer of snow, and the rocks and plantains inside the moon cave gate did not block the light from the room.But the boat is turning. "Big cousin, I really envy you," Young Master Mei suddenly sighed. A wry smile appeared on Juexin's face, and he said pitifully, "You said it twice today." The bell stopped ringing again.He raised his head obsessively to the cloudless blue sky.Man does not know what he is thinking.

The boat approached the pavilion in the middle of the lake and the zigzag bridge. There were no lights there, and they were all painted in cold silvery white. "Cousin Mei, why didn't you talk much at dinner tonight?" Juexin asked with concern, "Am I not drunk?" Mei lowered his head and replied casually: "I'm not drunk, I'm listening to your speech." Juexin didn't make any sound.Mei explained again: "I usually talk less at home, and Dad doesn't seem very happy that I talk more." Young Master Mei's submissive tone aroused Juexin's resentment.Juexin only vaguely agreed.

The boat was about to pass under the bridge, Cuihuan warned them: "Eldest Young Master, Young Master Mei, we are about to cross the bridge, be careful." "I know, go ahead," Juexin replied. The boat crossed the bridge and moved forward slowly.The fishing platform can already be seen.Juexin remembered that he had talked with Mei there before, and gave Mei some advice on taking care of his body.The young man sat silently across from him now.He wondered: they had spent the whole day in the garden!There was no other sound except the murmur of the water waves.The soft moonlight covers everything.Rocks, trees, and houses seem to hide some secrets.So is Mei, and so is he.He seemed to be in a dream.He must be dreaming, a long, long dream.

"Big cousin, let me ask you something," Young Master Mei suddenly mustered up his courage and said in a low voice. Juexin looked at him in surprise, and replied encouragingly, "Just say what you have to say." "You must know what people are born for. It's this sentence, this thing. I can't figure it out after thinking about it. I don't know what is the meaning of life," Mei said sincerely and distressedly. I just worry that he won't be able to express everything he thinks of at this time in words. Juexin was embarrassed by this unexpected question, he never imagined that it was tormenting this young heart that had never had youth before.He is already very unfamiliar with this problem.All these years, he had never thought about it, nor did he dare to think about it.What is man born for?What is the meaning of life?He was in such an environment, seeing young lives being destroyed one by one for no reason, and his own cherished things being taken away one by one, people refused to give him even a little hope or comfort !What can he say?Where would he find an answer?He felt a coolness on his slightly hot face.

"I don't think life is very meaningful. It seems that everything is empty." Master Mei saw that Juexin was silent, as if he was thinking about something. He guessed that Juexin might not understand what he meant, so he said again: "After thinking about it, I feel that everything is empty. Life seems to be empty." "Empty! Empty! Empty!" Juexin could only hear these words whispering in his ears.They push him.He became anxious and struggled to say one after another: "No! No!..." Afterwards he felt sober, he calmed down his voice, and explained: "Don't think like this. Everything cannot be said to be empty." Mei looked at him attentively and said nothing.Pointing to the moon in the sky, he said: "You see, the moon is not empty. It is still round, and it is still missing. It has seen everything." But he did not answer Mei's main question.

"I don't know if it's empty or not, but" Mei said thoughtfully, "I don't think there's anything that can cheer me up. I don't know what I'm doing right or what I'm doing wrong..." "Of course right and wrong are obvious," Juexin interjected. He couldn't solve big problems, he could only play around with small ones.This is not a trick, this is just perfunctory.His heart ached again, and memories tormented him again.He wanted to escape, he wanted to free himself from the constraints of the problem. "What I mean is this," said Mei complainingly, "I haven't done anything I want to do. Daddy wants me to do other things. I think Daddy must be good. But I suffer sometimes myself. I Seeing my second cousin, they are completely different from me. They seem to be very happy at any time. They are completely different from me. I can't figure out whether they are right or I am right. But I often envy them."

"Then why don't you learn from your second cousin? You are young and hopeful," Juexin said sympathetically. "How can I learn from my second cousin? He knows so much! I don't understand anything, I just know that I can do whatever my father tells me to do," Mei said desperately, he had never had any confidence in himself.Just now he opened the door of his heart slightly by himself, but now others are about to step in, and he suddenly closes the door.He is afraid of others entering into his heart and seeing the chaos and emptiness there. Juexin didn't understand Mei's mood, and thought that what Mei said was just the humble words of a young man.Still sympathetically persuading Mei, he said:

"Actually, my second cousin doesn't know much. If you have time to learn, he can help you. As long as you have ambition yourself. You are different from me. You are much younger than me." Mei shook his head pessimistically and said, "You don't know that Dad is my only son, and he refuses to let me go. Dad opposes all new principles. I think he may be wrong. I'm used to listening to what Dad says, so I don't follow him. means it can't." Contradictions, confusion, weakness...these are all the words of this young man.Chang Xin couldn't believe his ears, he didn't understand what Mei's original intention was, he thought: "Am I really drunk?" He couldn't find an answer.He thought painfully: "I myself was forced to do those things, I had to. What about this young man? Did he really believe all that? He put up with it willingly, admitting that his father didn't do it." Wrong?" He didn't dare to think.He vaguely agreed with two "um".

"I don't have a husband who guides me, and I don't have a close friend. My father is good, but he is a strict father." Mei was a little disappointed when he saw that he could not get the advice he expected from Juexin. He was lonely. Said: "When my sister was here, she still cared about my affairs. Now she is gone. Thinking of my sister, I feel that everything is empty, but a dream. She was with us at this time last year, and now she His coffin was covered with dust, and it was parked outside the city in a deserted place, and the place was not quiet, and my brother-in-law didn’t care..." He said that tears seemed to come out of his voice, and he closed his mouth. When Juexin heard Mei's words, his heart ached with desperate thoughts.Hui's sad face came to his mind, she smiled at him with tears in her eyes, she whispered: "Big cousin, you have to take good care of your body;" she added: "Take care of younger brother Mei .” He looked up at the sky helplessly, and the same face appeared in the clear blue sky.It was still the pair of concerned watery eyes.He thought: This is the last person who cares about me.He begged for forgiveness and said silently in his heart: "Look, what can I do? What do you want me to do?" "Eldest young master, young master Mei, let's go ashore, the boat is docked," Cuihuan's voice interrupted his train of thought, and drove Hui's face away.She turned on the storm lights. Juexin responded as if awakened from a dream, and the surrounding scene completely changed.The boat leaned against a willow tree on the lakeside in front of the water pavilion.The yellowish light of the wind and rain lamp dispelled the surrounding moon shadows.The willow leaves covered part of the sky above their heads, but the clear light still fell on them through the gaps in the willow branches.The lake water spreads on the ground like a piece of white satin, sometimes fluttering slightly when blown by the wind.Juexin glanced at Mei who was sitting across from him. Mei's thin face was as white as a piece of paper. Although he couldn't see the expression on his face clearly, he also felt a shudder run down his spine. "Okay, I'll go up first," Juexin agreed, stood up and went ashore.Master Mei was in the boat, shaking slightly, showing a timid look.Juexin quickly reached out to hold his hand and helped him walk ashore.Cuihuan also went ashore and tied the boat to the willow trunk. Cuihuan walked in front carrying the wind and rain lantern, Juexin and Young Master Mei followed behind.They walked through the pine forest and turned into a verandah, beyond which there were three external parlors in a row that were unlit.The moon reflects the shadows of green bamboos and pearl orchids in the courtyard on the carved lattice windows pasted with white rice paper. "I don't know when they left," Juexin said as if talking to himself. "Big cousin!" Young Master Mei suddenly grabbed Juexin's arm and screamed. A black shadow on the railing of Youlang in front jumped suddenly, flew up, and landed on the rockery overgrown with vines. "Look!" Master Mei said in a trembling voice. "This is a cat, don't be afraid," Juexin comforted gently, expressing sympathy for the young man's excessive timidity. It was indeed a black cat, standing on the rockery and crying like a cat. "I'm a little scared," Mei whispered, touching her chest. "This thing is running around in the garden, sometimes it is really scary. We have also been scared by it. Xianghui. Now I am used to it, so I am not afraid anymore," Cuihuan said in front. "Cousin Mei, you need to be more courageous," Juexin said with concern. They came out of a moon door and into the flagged courtyard.There is also a rockery like a screen in front. "Uncle Zhao, open the door, the young master has come out to see off the guests," Cuihuan yelled loudly as she turned out of the rockery. The old gardener Lao Zhao, who was in charge of the garden gate, agreed, and then he took the key and came out of the small room in front of the gate, unlocked the door, removed the bar, and opened the door.Cuihuan went out first and ordered "lift the sedan chair". Yuan Cheng ran out from the gatehouse to meet Young Master Mei, and waited for him to get into the sedan chair. Juexin and Master Mei walked out of the garden gate, and the bearers were lighting lanterns, so they stood at the gate and waited. "Cousin Mei, we talked quite a bit today. After all, your health is not very good. You should take a good rest." Seeing that they still had time to talk, Juexin expressed concern to his young cousin again. One more piece of advice.Then he lowered his voice and said, "Don't read those bad idle books again. "Yes, I know," Mei whispered gratefully. "You can come to me if you have something to do in the future, and I will always help," Juexin continued to remind. "Yes," Mei replied in a lower voice. "Yuan Cheng, send Young Master Mei back," Juexin ordered when he saw the slender servant standing beside the sedan chair with his back bent. Yuan Cheng responded with his rustling voice, and ran into the porter's room.Young Master Mei still said politely: "No need," Yuan Cheng had already walked up to the sedan chair with the wind and rain lantern in hand. Juexin sent Mei to the sedan chair, and Mei said two or three words before entering the sedan chair. The sedan chair had already left the second gate, and Juexin was still standing there melancholy.He thought desperately: Another young life ended like this.He felt empty inside and didn't know what to do.It seems that I had a lot of dreams intermittently today, and now I am gradually waking up. Cuihuan stood next to Juexin holding the wind and rain lantern for a while, she didn't know what he was thinking, but she could guess that some unpleasant thoughts were haunting him.She sympathizes with Juexin's misfortune, she usually has a lot of respect for him, and for her master Shuying's departure, she secretly thanks him and Juemin.At this time, she couldn't help but whispered emotionally: "Eldest young master, go back, Miss Qin and the others are waiting for you." Her voice was very soft.Juexin involuntarily turned his head to look at her.Seeing that pure and sympathetic look, he also replied gently: "I'm going back now." He asked her by the way: "Are you okay?" Without waiting for her answer, he said again: " I am afraid that the third wife will order you, so you can go back from the hall. I can row the boat by myself." "It doesn't matter, my wife ordered me to wait on the young master and miss in the garden. The young master must be tired today, so let me row the young master over," Cuihuan replied earnestly with a smile. Juexin thought for a while and said, "Alright, it's so difficult for you." "Eldest young master, you are always so polite. We girls do something for you, and still say 'embarrassed'?..." Cuihuan said with a smile. "That's not polite. You are also the same people as us, and you are not a girl from our house," Juexin replied lightly.He saw Lao Zhao's pole on the main entrance of the upper garden, and suddenly remembered something, so he asked the old gardener, "Old Zhao, how long has it been since the tenants left?" "It's been quite a while. Four or five people were drunk. One man cried so sadly for some reason! He just bowed to the third master and the fourth master, but he couldn't be persuaded. Later, it was Uncle Liu who pulled him out I went to the inn in a sedan chair," Lao Zhao opened his mouth, as if he couldn't close it, and chattered endlessly.Juexin frowned and managed to finish listening. After saying "hmm" twice, he turned around the rockery and walked in.Cuihuan followed silently. They never exchanged a word along the way.Both walked quickly, and soon they reached the place where the boat was moored by the lake.Cuihuan put down the lamp and untied the rope.Juexin picked up the lamp on the ground and went down the boat.After he sat down, he turned down the light again.Cuihuan also got off the boat, and she took the oars and steered the boat towards the middle of the lake. "Eldest Young Master, has Second Miss received any letter these two days?" Cui Huan suddenly asked after a stroke. Juexin was looking at the sky, thinking about some trivial things, when he heard Cuihuan's question, he lowered his head, looked at her in surprise, and replied: "It's the letter from a few days ago. About you. You two have a very good relationship." "This is the kindness of the second lady. The second lady thinks highly of me and doesn't regard me as a subordinate. We also know how to be grateful," Cuihuan said with gratitude and nostalgia. These few words moved Juexin quite a bit.He seemed to have heard the same words somewhere.This is by no means the first time.He thought for a moment in silence.He understood, and said, "Ah, I remember. You talked to me about the second lady last year. You must have been very upset with me that time. You are a loyal person." "Young Master, what are you talking about? How dare I be unhappy with Young Master?" Cuihuan quickly distinguished. "Actually, if it weren't for the help of the third young master and the second young master who are in Shanghai together, where would the second miss be today? Speaking of which, I should thank the young master." The voice was clear and gentle, and it came from a sincere heart. if.Juexin looked at her face in surprise. Cuihuan was raising her head, her whole face was bathed in moonlight, her slightly raised forehead was covered with bangs, and her hair hung down on both sides of her cheeks.Both eyes looked at the sky full of longing, shining brilliantly under the clear light of the bright moon.The whole young melon-seeded face showed a kind of humility and purity. "You thank me?" Juexin asked in surprise at first.Later he was moved by the sight in front of him.He felt a feeling oppressing his heart.He thought painfully: The world is so big, but he has nothing now. "This is also Miss Er's luck. There is a girl like you. I will write to her next time to tell her," Juexin praised sincerely.Many regretful thoughts came to his mind again.His thoughts jumped quickly, and he remembered many past events, but he couldn't jump out of a circle: he still loved this world, but he completely despaired of himself. This is not an ordinary voice, it reveals Juexin's lonely and painful state of mind.Cuihuan could also understand a little bit, and she was also moved by this sincere voice.She replied in a low voice: "Second Miss is lucky to have brothers like Eldest Young Master and Second Young Master." There is such a depth of concern for others!She was just a simple handmaid.However, she loves Shuying more than anyone else, and even he has never expressed such concern for Shuying.This kind of unselfish spirit exists among the so-called "lower people", who seem to breathe a breath of fresh air in the suffocation.But was she mocking him?He clearly has no right to such praise.In his shame he increased his despair of himself.He was lost in thought like a dementia. "Young master, be careful! We're crossing the bridge," Cuihuan reminded, and she rowed vigorously to pass under the bridge.The Huxin Pavilion seemed to be pressing on their heads, but it slowly backed away.It stood quietly on the bridge, closed its windows, and hid all the secrets it saw. "Eldest Young Master, will Second Miss come back?" Cuihuan asked again, she didn't know his mood at this moment.She asked this question, firstly, it was a question that often tortured her, and secondly, she wanted to break Juexin's silence. Juexin stared at Cuihuan for a while and couldn't say a word, he just uttered two words "um". This was an expected blow to Cuihuan.She thought Juexin had a negative answer.Her glimmer of hope was gone.She asked again with a little fear: "Eldest young master, is it true that the second young lady will not come back? Is it true that the third young lady doesn't want her to come back as the third young lady said earlier?" Juexin couldn't keep silent.He actually reluctantly said what he was afraid of hearing: "I don't think Second Miss will come back. Where is the bird that flew out and returned to the cage?" There should be other words in the future, but he swallowed in the stomach.He was saying to himself: I am still in the cage, I will stay in the cage forever. "Ah," Cuihuan called Zhi in pain.She had no chance to say anything else.The ship arrived at its destination.She heard the laughter of the Shuhuas on the boat.