Chapter 29 Love and the Duty of a Soldier

This sentence made Ma Feila tremble all over, and she didn't know how to answer Qiao Nianchao.In her heart, she had loved Qiao Nianchao thousands of times, but reality told her that she was no longer worthy of Qiao Nianchao.At this moment, when she was asked to make a choice, she couldn't help being sad and hesitant. In Qiao Nianchao's heart, he felt the feeling of a luxuriant tree facing the wind, and it was a little tragic.He understood that the time had come to really test him.Ma Feila had an accident, he was the person involved, and Ma Feila had an accident for love.He thought about escaping, avoiding Mafeila far away, just like before, they were walking on their own paths in life, in the first two days, he also tried to do the same, but no matter whether he opened his eyes Close your eyes, the shadow of Ma Feila is in front of you.Sometimes when he wakes up in a dream in the middle of the night, Mafeila's eyes are still staring at him, lingering in front of his eyes.Qiao Nianchao knew that he was doomed this time.

It was at this time that he felt something in his heart suddenly awakened. He could choose to escape, but he couldn't, and absolutely couldn't, otherwise he wouldn't be Qiao Nianchao.He understood that his father's blood flowed in his bones, and his father had never chosen to escape in his life, that's how his father walked all the way.My father faced the test of life and death on the battlefield in the past. Every time my father appeared, he chose to move forward bravely. This is the responsibility of a soldier.He is also a soldier now. When such a sudden event comes, he cannot and cannot choose to escape. He must, like his father, hold his head up and walk towards bravery.

If Ma Feila didn't have this incident, maybe there would be no subsequent stories between them. In this incident, Qiao Nianchao had a deep self-blame, that is, as a man, he failed to protect Ma Fei. La, he felt blushed and ashamed.At that time, he hated himself, why didn't he try his best to fight those three hooligans, if that was the case, maybe nothing would happen to Ma Feila.After thinking about it, he felt that what happened to Ma Feila was entirely because of him.He said over and over again in his heart: I want to be worthy of her, in this life, I will always be worthy of her.

At that time, Qiao Nianchao didn't realize that when he made these confessions in his heart, he had fallen deeply in love with Ma Feila. In Qiao Nianchao's eyes, Ma Feila became a completely different person. That accident was an important beginning of Ma Feila's life stage. In her previous life, the sun was shining everywhere, including her pursuit of Qiao Nianchao based on her own understanding of love. If she likes it, she will get it.She was born in the 1960s, and three years of natural disasters have left her. When she was a child, she experienced the Cultural Revolution, but the Cultural Revolution did not leave much mark on her. She has been living in the military compound since she had memories. Here, everything is so simple and carefree.When she suddenly grew up, the Cultural Revolution was over. As soon as she graduated from high school, she ushered in the college entrance examination, so she was admitted to the military academy as a matter of course.It took several years of hard work for Qiao Nian to face them, but she accomplished it overnight and realized it.Life is so bright and beautiful in her eyes.

In this beauty, she fell in love with Qiao Nianchao. At the beginning, she was still a junior high school student. Every morning when she went to school, she would come to the gate of the army compound early, and then dawdled at the gate of the compound until Qiao Nianchao After coming out of the compound, she quietly followed and walked all the way to the school.At that time, she was in a happy mood all day, humming a song, and her eyes were bright.On the campus, Qiao Nianchao's figure still appeared in her sight from time to time, and every time she appeared, her heart beat endlessly, and she couldn't explain why she was like this. Bewildered for a while.At that time, she couldn't tell why she liked Qiao Nianchao, she just wanted to see him, and if she could be with him, it would be so wonderful that she couldn't sleep.

Once, there was a theatrical performance in the school, and more than a dozen literary and artistic backbones were selected from all grades. After she was selected, during the first rehearsal, she found that Qiao Nianchao was also in their group. In those days, she felt dizzy Brain, I don't know how I got here. Qiao Nianchao played Li Yongqi, she played Xiao Changbao, she called his father in the play, but at first she couldn't say anything, she looked at "Li Yongqi" in front of her, she couldn't open her mouth, her face was flushed, she came down several times She couldn't even call him "Daddy".The tutor said: This is acting and not real. If you can't do it, change someone.

Tears welled up in her eyes at that time, she trembled her lips, lowered her head, blushed and said: Let me try again. She finally yelled out, and that time she was trembling and tears were streaming down her face.Qiao Nianchao, who played the role of Li Yongqi, seemed to be fine. He seemed to have waited for a long time for this cry, and then readily agreed, and turned around to wink at his companions, showing a very bad smile. Ma Feila couldn't tell what it was like, she looked at Qiao Nianchao with watery eyes.At that time, she had only one idea, as long as she was with Qiao Nianchao, she was willing to do whatever she was asked to do.In those days, her brain was in a state of hypoxia all day long, and she was dizzy. Those days were both happy and hard.

Qiao Nianchao didn't seem to know anything about her behavior, she looked heartless, talking and laughing with those students in their senior grades, but she didn't associate with these students who were a few grades lower than them, even They would not even look at her directly, and only during rehearsals did they communicate with each other through scripts. At that time, Fang Wei was also in the propaganda team.Ma Feila looked at the enthusiasm of Qiao Nianchao and Fang Wei, and she felt so uncomfortable that she could die. At that time, she thought: It would be great if she were Fang Wei.But she is not Fang Wei after all, in their eyes, she is just Ma Feila.

Her name is very different from theirs. Qiao Nianchao was born after the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea. His parents named him Nianchao in memory of North Korea.Mafeila's name, of course, has another meaning.The great leader Chairman Mao conducted a great analysis of the world's continents in Zhongnanhai, Beijing. The result of the analysis is: Asia, Africa, and Latin America are all developing countries, so the people of these three continents can unite. Is a good friend of the Chinese people.At that time, there was a very popular song, which sang: Children from Asia, Africa and Latin America, holding hands on the road to revolution... This is enough to prove how closely the people of Asia, Africa, and Latin America are united.Under the call of Chairman Mao, the impoverished Chinese people sent a medical team and a railway aid team to the land of Africa with great fanfare.The African people are a force that can be united. Of course, this is another kind of diplomacy.

Ma Feila was born at this time, so she has such a historical and commemorative name.From the name alone, there is a long distance between them.Qiao Nianchao had a reason for ignoring her. Most of the rehearsals at school and the art propaganda team are in spare time, and when they come back from school, they are mostly at night.Qiao Nianchao, Fang Wei and her were together.For safety's sake, the teacher specially arranged for the three of them to walk together, but Qiao Nianchao and Fang Wei seemed to be without her. She followed behind them inconspicuously like a little tail.When they got on the bus, they would glance at her consciously or unconsciously to confirm that she was on the bus, and then they would never look at her again. Qiao Nianchao, Fang Wei and the others were whispering affectionately and mysteriously at their age.

There was only one time when they went to another school for an exchange performance, and Fang Wei was ill that day, so he didn't go to the performance.After the performance, Ma Feila and Qiao Nian got on the bus.When getting in the car, Qiao Nianchao specially said: get in the car. After getting in the car, Qiao Nianchao ignored her and sat down on a vacant seat for two people. She followed behind him, seeing him sitting down, hesitated for a while, and finally sat beside Qiao Nianchao.It was a night bus, and there was no one on the bus, and a few people were also sitting there, dozing off with their eyes closed.It was the first time Ma Feila was so close to Qiao Nianchao in real life. At that moment, her body temperature suddenly rose several degrees, and she found that her face was already hot. Fortunately, she hadn't removed her makeup yet, and her face was still hot. While painting the oil paint for the performance, she sat upright and kept her eyes fixed, but every cell in her body was alert, and all the cells were excited for tomorrow. At this moment, how much she wished that Qiao Nianchao could have a word with her, even a word.Qiao Nianchao didn't speak, so she just wanted to talk to him. She thought about it all the way, but she couldn't think of a word. When the bus arrived, she was still thinking excitedly... He suddenly said: Get out of the car. Only then did she wake up, the car had already stopped in front of the military compound.She hurriedly moved out of the way, saw Qiao Nianchao get off the car, and then realized that she got off the car too.She followed him into the compound, and then came to the family area. She stood in the shadows and watched Qiao Nianchao walk back to the building of her own house. After entering the building door, she could no longer see her, so she covered her face and walked home. go.She felt extremely happy that night, but also extremely annoyed.They were alone together, but she didn't say a word to him.She couldn't calm down her excited mood that night, she was half asleep and half awake. This is Ma Feila who was in unrequited love when she was a girl, and this girlish complex has been accompanied by her growing up.Growing up, many things and people have changed a lot, but her belief in loving Qiao Nianchao has not changed, she still loves Qiao Nianchao as much as she did when she was a girl.This kind of love is warmer and firmer than when I was a girl. In order to get close to Qiao Nianchao, she resolutely applied for the Army Academy after hearing that Qiao Nianchao had been sent to the Army Academy.She was finally with him, and of course he treated her like an adult.Her boldness and boldness finally won Qiao Nianchao's love gradually, and she seemed to have seen the dawn of their love.That's when the unexpected happened. That night, she ran home, fell headlong on the bed, and covered both quilts, and she cried all night , At that time, she realized that she would never be able to walk with Qiao Nianchao, she was a broken person, how could she still be able to match Qiao Nianchao.She was desperate, utterly desperate. That day, she cried all night, and the next morning, when her mother was about to send her back to school, she knocked on the door for a long time and didn't see her answer, so she opened the door, and she was still lying under the quilt.Mother didn't know what happened to her, so she lifted the quilt and was startled when she saw her. She reached out and touched her. She was having a high fever. No matter what mother said, she didn't say a word and closed her eyes. At that time, my mother called the Army Academy and asked for a week off for her. During this one week, Ma Feila seemed to grow up all of a sudden. She realized a lot and realized a lot. She even had the idea of ​​giving up and continuing to go to school.Before school started, she wrote a long letter to Qiao Nianchao, with more than ten pages. It took her a lot of nights to complete the process of progressing to a mature woman. She originally planned to hand it over to Qiao Nianchao on the train on the day of school, but the night before her departure, something happened. All her good dreams and feelings of a woman were closed.During those few days, she couldn't see her future, let alone her own happiness.She took the letter and lit it with a match in the bathroom, watching the pages of letter paper soaked with her painstaking efforts turn into ashes little by little.She shed her farewell tears in the ashes. A week later, she boarded the train back to school. At this time, her state of mind was no longer that of Ma Feila a week ago.At that time, her heart was filled with fiery love and a happy future, but now her heart is empty. Mafeila, who has returned to school, has changed. Qiao Nianchao seemed to have a dream, from the starting point, turned around and came back again.Ma Feila was like a seed blown by the wind inadvertently in his heart, and it took root and sprouted in just a few days.Mafeila was not at all unforgettable in his heart before, and he even always thought that Mafeila was the little girl who didn't grow up a few years ago, lively, willful, and sometimes a little savage.She walked into his life overnight, causing several small ripples in his originally peaceful life.He was too familiar with her, she grew up little by little in his eyes, she said she loved him, but he didn't think it was the truth, even a little funny.Later, I gradually discovered that she was serious, and there was still a little bit of infatuation, and his mood was too wet, without leaving too many traces.Because of this familiarity, he thought that nothing would happen to him and Ma Feila.He was happy with her, and that kind of happiness was a prank of a man looking at a little girl in his eyes, and it was just a little abnormal.He had read many books before, which described a lot of unswerving and childhood love. When he read those books, he was often moved by the love described.Only now did he know that those loves were just a beautiful imagination of the writer.It is really difficult for a man and woman to watch them grow up.Distance produces beauty. There is no distance at all between him and Mafeila. He grew up looking down at Mafeila. Her height first reached his waist, and then reached his neck. His ears are so high, she should be an adult, the so-called adult is physically speaking, but in his heart, she will always be that heartless, naughty little girl. Ma Feila approached his life, he can't deny it, brought a lot of joy to his life, he was with her, it was more of a kind of friendship, sometimes he didn't regard her as the opposite sex, that kind of A kind of friendship between buddies.He doesn't push her away, but he can feel the oppression she faces all the time, and this oppression is also understood by him as an element of a game.He was with her without a trace of tension, urgency, or desire, and was so calm that he himself was surprised. When he faced Ma Feila again in the new semester, he couldn't explain why, he couldn't forget Ma Feila anymore, the more she avoided him, the more he wanted to see her, the relationship between the two was completely reversed up.He couldn't tell what it was all about. Every morning, when they lined up to go to the classroom for class, he could see Mafeila from a distance. Her spirit was no longer the girl with a relaxed face, and there was a trace of melancholy on her pale face. on my mind.All this made his heart tremble together.Now he would think of her whenever he had time, and her voice and smile were vividly presented before his eyes.Sometimes, he sat there thinking so obsessively, forgetting the time and place. Sometimes he would dream of her in his dreams, and she was still so naughty and handsome in his dreams.suddenly woke up in a dream When he realized that it was a dream, his heart felt empty and he couldn't sleep for a long time. When he first fell in love with Fang Wei, he didn't seem to have this kind of feeling. He just wanted to see Fang Wei, and he was happy after seeing him. He didn't have that kind of unforgettable, unstoppable, or even a feeling of heartache occasionally.He had it now, but he couldn't tell if it was love, anyway, he couldn't let go of Ma Feila.In those days, Qiao Nianchao was like a little boy who didn't grow up. He broke into his first love in a daze. He became distraught and often stood outside the window of the Mafeila dormitory.He stood there regularly, which attracted the attention of the female soldiers in the Mafeila dormitory. One day, a girl with a tomboy haircut poked her head out and said, "Hey, the boy who commands the team, who are you waiting for here?" This sentence made Qiao Nianchao wake up, he smiled embarrassedly at the girl, and left as if nothing happened.Not long after, he appeared there again as if sleepwalking.As soon as he appeared, several girls in the Mafeila dormitory exploded. They said: Look, that boy is here again.So they squeezed their heads against the window, looking at Qiao Nianchao all over the place.Before that, Ma Feila already knew that Qiao Nianchao was looking around so fondly downstairs.She only looked at it once, and then never looked at it again. The girls began to discuss: Is it not bad, it is quite airy. Then someone guessed: Who is he visiting? Others said: He is unrequited love. ... Everyone laughed, but Ma Feila didn't laugh, and did what he should do, and everyone came back to it amidst surprise and teasing.Because they found that Ma Feila was actually two people this semester and last semester.They never found the reason, but now they finally found it, they immediately surrounded Ma Feila, and then guessed in a hurry. Someone said: Ma Feila, have you lost your love? Who tortured you like this? Is it that brat downstairs?If it is, tell me, we will splash him with water upstairs. Someone else said: "That boy downstairs must be waiting for you, so hurry up and go; if you don't go, we can go." Someone else said: Ma Feila, do you agree or disagree? If you really disagree, don't blame us for snatching him away. ... No matter what these girls are talking about, Ma Feila is indifferent, and when she is in a hurry, she says: What nonsense are you talking about?! Then I went to the window and turned around, looked down pretendingly, and said: I don't know him at all. A girl exposed her on the spot and said: No, last semester, I saw you and him being so intimate, why are you pretending not to know him now? Another said: Don't you want to talk to him anymore?It's easy to say, I'll go downstairs and tell him, let him go. After speaking, he really went downstairs.Seeing that a good show was about to start, all the girls lay down in front of the window one after another, watching the start of the play. The girl went downstairs and came under the tree. Qiao Nianchao spotted the girl walking over, he pretended to be looking for something, bent over and searched on the ground. The girl said: Hey, don't pretend, what is missing? Qiao Nianchao said: It's the key, the key to the dormitory. The girl said again: The key to Ma Feila's heart is lost. Qiao Nianchao blushed. The girl said again: Let me tell you, Ma Feila is no longer interested in you, so hurry up and think of another way, don't work hard on a tree.You can bear to make Ma Feila so painful. After Qiao Nianchao heard this, his face immediately turned pale. He looked at the girl in front of him in surprise, and said incoherently: "She, she asked you, to tell me? The girl said: What she said is what I said, and what I said was what she said, understand? Qiao Nianchao raised her head and glanced at the window of the girls' dormitory, then turned around and walked forward step by step. The girls huddled in front of the window chattering: He's gone, he's really gone. Another said: Look at him, he looks so sad. When they turned around, they found that Ma Feila was in tears.They didn't understand what happened for a while, she suddenly threw herself on the bed, pulled the quilt over, and sobbed in the quilt. The girl who just came downstairs saw such a scene as soon as she entered the door. She stood there stupidly, not knowing what to do for a moment. She raised her head and saw the reproachful eyes of everyone, and said helplessly: I, I make a mistake? She came to Mafeila's bed and said in a low voice: Mafeila, if I did something wrong, I'll bring him back to you right away, no, invite him to our dormitory. After finishing speaking, she wanted to go downstairs again, Ma Feila said with a choked voice: Don't worry about my affairs. Ma Feila made a choice in pain. Ever since she found Qiao Nianchao standing downstairs in the girls' dormitory, her heart was bleeding.If it was before, she would fly up with joy, and throw herself into his arms recklessly.However, now she can't, she doesn't even dare to look at him, she's afraid she won't be able to control herself.When others were talking about Qiao Nianchao, she pretended not to care. When that kind girl was about to go downstairs, she heard her words and knew that Nianchao had finally left. Although she didn't see him, she could think of his lost look.During this time, she knew that Qiao Nianchao had been watching her silently, in the queue, on the dining table in the cafeteria, and in the library... Although they were so far away, his eyes seemed to bend, no matter where she went, he was there. eyes are following.She forced herself not to look at him. If her eyes met his, she was afraid that she would not be able to bear it and would do something absurd.But she resisted not to look at him, she had to expend a lot of effort to be alert to herself all the time, this kind of restraint sometimes made her tremble all over. On the second day after the dormitory incident, she finally saw Qiao Nianchao on the steps in front of the library in the evening.Qiao Nian held a few books under her armpit, and he stood there as if for thousands of years. He was facing her, waiting for her with a serious and somewhat pale face, and she inevitably met his gaze.At that moment, she was still telling herself in her heart: ignore him and walk over.She looked down at her toes and counted her steps. She had already walked a step or two past him.He suddenly said: Ma Feila, you stop. As if she had heard an order, she stopped immediately, but she didn't look back. He turned around and walked up to her in a few steps. She glanced at him hurriedly and turned her head away. He said: Ma Feila, tell me today, do you still know me, Qiao Nianchao? Qiao Nianchao was tortured by longing beyond endurance, and today he made up his mind to get to the bottom of the matter, otherwise he would have trouble sleeping and eating.He almost didn't sleep all night yesterday. He thought it over clearly and must ask Ma Feila clearly in front of Ma Feila. This sentence made Ma Feila tremble all over, and she didn't know how to answer Qiao Nianchao.In her heart, she had loved Qiao Nianchao thousands of times, but reality told her that she was no longer worthy of Qiao Nianchao.At this moment, when she was asked to make a choice, she couldn't help being sad and hesitant. Qiao Nianchao said, "Speak up, if you say you don't know me, I'll leave right away, and I won't waste a second of your time." She bit her lip and looked at him, speechless. He glanced at the sky, took a breath, then slowly turned around and walked down the steps step by step. At this moment, Ma Feila cried out heart-piercingly: Nian Chao—— When Qiao Nian turned around, he saw Ma Feila covering his face with his hands and weeping. He came over and hugged Ma Feila in his arms.Ma Feila's body softened instantly, and she let Qiao Nianchao hold her. Many people passing by the library stood there looking at the scene in surprise, they didn't know what happened.