Chapter 17 Humans are not as good as Gods

In fact, before his father came to the army, he always imagined his father as a big tree behind him, a tree he imagined from his heart, but the current situation is that his father is not the tree he wants, he The big tree suddenly fell, and he lost his roots.He was covered with a quilt and wanted to cry happily, but he was afraid of being heard. Qiao Nianchao never dreamed that after the recruit company was over, he would be assigned to Liu Shuanglin's company, to be precise, the machine gun company of the third battalion of the fifth regiment. When the recruit company was about to end, Qiao Nianchao's greatest wish was to leave Liu Shuanglin as soon as possible, as far away from him as possible.Qiao Nianchao knew that he and Liu Shuanglin were two types of people, and it would be best not to interfere with each other. If it was not possible, it would be a sad thing if they really wanted to work together.Presumably Liu Shuanglin also realized this sadness. When the recruit company commander announced the list of recruits, Liu Shuanglin's expression was not good.This time, there were three new recruits assigned to the machine gun company, only Qiao Nianchao was an urban soldier, and the other two were rural soldiers.After the list of recruits was announced, they stood on the playground waiting for the car of the old company to pick them up.

The recruit company was over, and Liu Shuanglin naturally ended his mission as a recruit platoon leader. He also carried his luggage on his back, just like the recruits, waiting for his company's car to pick him up.He stood with Qiao Nianchao and several other recruits.Qiao Nianchao was very unwilling to stand with Liu Shuanglin like this.He heard Fang Wei's female soldiers assigned to the division hospital, they were chattering about the division hospital. Before that, the relationship between Qiao Nianchao and Fang Wei had cooled down.The environment will change people, and their feelings are because of the change of the environment.Qiao Nianchao even regretted joining the army. If she hadn't joined the army, Fang Wei wouldn't have joined the army either, and she would have gone to work elsewhere.In that case, their relationship might not be as bad as it is now.Due to the reason, Qiao Nianchao shifted the responsibility to Liu Shuanglin.In his eyes, Liu Shuanglin had a conspiracy in favor of Fang Wei, but Fang Wei didn't see this conspiracy clearly, and blindly thought that Liu Shuanglin was not bad.Because they have different perspectives on life, when they look at people and things, they have two completely opposite results.It is precisely because of this result that when Qiao Nianchao and Fang Wei are together, they always break up because of their different views on an issue.During the three months they were in the recruit company, they didn't have a few chances to get along alone.More often, they can only look at each other across the crowd.On the surface they are very close, they are all in the same recruit platoon, but the real life makes their emotions far away.

Qiao Nian walked towards Fang Wei's female soldiers. At this time, he was already disheartened. His idea was to end his military life in the past few years as soon as possible, and then change himself to a different way of life.At this time, he was smoking a cigarette, and his military cap was a little askew.The recruit company does not allow soldiers to smoke. In the past, he envied Zhang Weiping's appearance of smoking, thinking that it should be born in a mature man.It was also because of Zhang Weiping's mature chic that he had the idea of ​​leaving the military compound and going out for a living.Unexpectedly, the first kick of the first three kicks frustrated him.What was even more unexpected was that he met a platoon leader like Liu Shuanglin.He now feels that everything doesn't matter, he not only smokes in front of everyone, but also wears his hat askew, he looks like a ruffian soldier in a sloppy manner.

Fang Wei also saw him, and she didn't look very good when she saw him. Fang Wei said: Why are you smoking again? Qiao Nianchao said: That boy Liu Shuanglin can't understand me, and you can't understand me either? Fang Wei was a little angry: Look what you look like, you don't want to be a soldier, it would be better if you didn't come at the beginning. Qiao Nianchao put on an attitude of not doing anything but not being scalded by boiling water, and said: Now you have high eyesight and look down on me, don't you? He held the cigarette at an angle to his mouth, and put his hat on his head with his hand outstretched.

Fang Wei's face turned red and then turned pale again.Standing there, she didn't know what to say for a while, and stared at Qiao Nianchao who looked so different in front of her. She felt that the short three months of life in the army had changed Qiao Nianchao. Qiao Nianchao deliberately said: You think I've embarrassed you, don't you? If you think I've embarrassed you, you can pretend that you don't know me. Qiao Nianchao wanted to express all the dissatisfaction and unhappiness he had suppressed for three months.At this moment, someone called Fang Wei, and the teacher's hospital car came to pick them up.An ambulance was dispatched from the division hospital, and it stopped conspicuously at the entrance of the recruit company. Fang Wei heard someone calling her, picked up her belongings, and left without looking back.Until she got into the car, she never looked back.

Qiao Nianchao flicked the cigarette butt to the ground. At this moment, he was even more disheartened. He wanted to end this unbearable army life as soon as possible.Only then did he realize that it was a wrong decision for him to choose the path of joining the army after making up his mind to venture outside alone. After Qiao Nianchao joined the machine gun company, two veterans of the platoon that Liu Shuanglin had led before had changed jobs, so Qiao Nianchao was assigned to Liu Shuanglin's platoon logically.Qiao Nianchao's sky was completely dark. That night, he tossed and turned in bed until midnight. He thought about his future and destiny, as well as his relationship with Fang Wei. It seemed that the relationship between him and Fang Wei was just like this, and it was irreversible.For the first time in his life, he felt the pain of failure.After thinking about it, he fell asleep in a daze when it was almost dawn.

The next morning, during the exercise, Qiao Nianchao heard the wake-up call, and the comrades in the class started to move quickly. There were many soldiers who were good people and good deeds. , Few people lie there and sleep late.A new day begins long before the reveille blows. Qiao Nianchao struggled to sit up amidst the sound of the trumpets, but his heavy eyelids were unbearable. He opened them a few times, but they didn't open them. He simply lay down again, covered himself with a quilt, and fell asleep peacefully. past. Qiao Nianchao didn't wake up until the whole platoon came back from the exercise. Liu Shuanglin stood in front of his bed angrily, and he was still sleeping.Liu Shuanglin threw off his quilt, Qiao Nianchao was startled, and woke up this time.Only then did he discover that not only Liu Shuanglin was standing in front of his bed, but also the squad leader and several other veterans.

He sat up and hurriedly pulled the quilt over himself. Liu Shuanglin said: Why doesn't Qiao Nianchao come out to practice? Qiao Nianchao thought to himself that he would not have any good results. With Liu Shuanglin as his nemesis, he would not have a good life in the future.In fact, there was such an emotion in his heart, but he didn't think it through at that time, but now he thinks it through, and it doesn't matter, he just wants to end it as soon as possible Such a nightmare to live.Thinking of this, he straightened his neck and said: I'm sick, why? Liu Shuanglin seemed to have no idea in front of Qiao Nianchao. Qiao Nianchao was not only a soldier who was led by his new recruits, but now he is also a soldier in his own platoon. If he does not train this stabbing soldier well, it will undoubtedly affect the work of his platoon. He is the platoon leader. Responsible, the next thing will undoubtedly affect his progress.Then things got serious, he realized, and his troubles began.

In all fairness, Liu Shuanglin was not deeply involved in the world, and he really had never seen such a prickly soldier as Qiao Nianchao.When he was a soldier, let alone thinking badly, even if he was a little behind others, he would feel that the future was not bright.These rural soldiers pinned all their dreams on the past few years of serving as soldiers. Even if they failed to get promoted and joined the party, it was not a waste of time to take a trip in the army. a capital.Even urban soldiers are not as able to endure hardships as rural soldiers, and they are unwilling to be left behind. Even if they are not in the army, they still hope to write more praises in their files, so as to lay a good foundation for finding a good job in the future.It was really the first time Liu Shuanglin saw a soldier like Qiao Nianchao, and he didn't want to ask for an aggressive soldier from the beginning.

Liu Shuanglin reached out to touch Qiao Nianchao's head, but Qiao Nianchao roughly pushed him back.He doesn't care anymore, and in his eyes, no one is a person.He thought in his heart, isn't it just a demobilization, at worst, he should leave here, return to the city to find a job, and start a new life that he wants. Liu Shuanglin walked around in front of Qiao Nianchao several times, but he didn't come up with a good idea. Finally, he came up with a trick. He knew that a soldier like Qiao Nianchao had seen the world, and his father was the deputy chief of staff of the military region. Who was he afraid of? ah?He can only use softness and emotion to influence him.

So, Liu Shuanglin calmed down, and said in a lyrical tone: Nian Chao, if you are not feeling well, you should rest.Then he said to the squad leader beside him: Go and tell the cooking squad to make a sick meal. The squad leader looked reluctant, but went anyway. Qiao Nianchao thought that if he didn't do anything else, he would pretend to be sick, so he simply lay down again.Liu Shuanglin stood in front of Qiao Nianchao's bed with his hands behind his back for a while, and finally left. That morning, Liu Shuanglin personally brought the patient's meal to Qiao Nianchao's bed. It was a bowl of egg noodles. He watched Qiao Nianchao gobble up the bowl of noodles. Leaning on the head of the bed, lighting a cigarette, squinting his eyes, he looked very comfortable.He likes to see Liu Shuanglin's humble appearance, and he feels that he has the pleasure of standing up and becoming the master. Liu Shuanglin sat on the opposite side of the bed, leaning forward, looking very humble.Liu Shuanglin said in a sincere tone: Nian Chao, we have been together in the recruit company for three months, and generally speaking, it’s pretty good. If you have any comments, please ask. In short, I hope you can grow into a A qualified fighter. Liu Shuanglin really didn't want Qiao Nianchao's pricking to affect the good situation of the whole platoon. He didn't want to see such a situation. Qiao Nianchao didn't accept his favor, and just stood there blowing smoke rings. In the days to come, Qiao Nianchao's performance can be imagined. If he wants to exercise, he can exercise, and if he wants to train, he can train. He doesn't need to make other excuses, just say, I'm sick, so he turned around and left the queue to go back to the dormitory.Soon, Qiao Nianchao became the most difficult soldier in the machine gun company. All the cadres of the machine gun company attached great importance to Qiao Nianchao's problems. They concentrated in the company headquarters, smoldering, and racked their brains to study the soldier Qiao Nianchao. They had never encountered a soldier like Qiao Nianchao who didn't care about anything.They want to prescribe the right medicine, cure the disease and save the patient. As long as there is a little hope, they can find a way to save the backward soldiers.But after much deliberation, they couldn't find what Qiao Nianchao had so called. In the army, rural soldiers have always been the best to manage. They live at the bottom and have never seen the world before joining the army. Life in the company is even better than that at home. It is commonplace, they have dreams about the future, they leave the countryside and come to the army, they are looking for opportunities to stand out, and they will not let go of any opportunity to express themselves.There are many ways for their ideals. The best result is to be promoted. If they really don’t want to be promoted, they can hope to join a party. It's not in vain to come to the army for a walk.Therefore, rural soldiers are the best group of soldiers to lead in the army. They are obedient and willing to work, and that is enough. As for ordinary urban soldiers, they also want to make progress, and they want to do things that they dream of. Of course, their spirit of enduring hardships is far inferior to that of rural soldiers. , That is to join the party, meritorious service and award, it is easier to find a job with this kind of capital after returning home, so urban soldiers can be regarded as good leaders. Compared with rural soldiers, they are more knowledgeable and quick to understand.Judging from some aspects of performance, they are the most active group. In the company culture, playing, playing and singing are indispensable to the city soldiers. In short, a person is integrated into a group, and a part of the symbol of this group is found in him, and then he has the motivation to move forward.He didn't seem to care about all the motivation in Qiao Nianchao's body, he seemed to be just waiting for demobilization.His daily performance is completely like a dead pig who is not afraid of boiling water. He has fallen in love with someone, and he has not gone too far. He has to be punished, but he can't handle it. In his daily training, he said that he was sick.Sickness is always going to happen, who can be free from sickness?You clearly know that the illness is fake, and there is nothing you can do about it. You can only have a bad impression of him in your heart, and secretly know that he is a sick person, and there is really nothing you can do about the rest. For Qiao Nianchao, this kind of performance was not what he originally wanted to do.After graduating from high school, he was eager to enter the society. At first, he didn't have the idea of ​​going far away. It was Zhang Weiping's accidental return to the military compound that shocked him all of a sudden.He saw the figure of a mature man on Zhang Weiping. When Zhang Weiping just left the compound of the military region, he was no better than him. He still remembered Zhang Weiping's appearance when he was escorted away, crying and shouting, his nose dripping When he got out, he locked the car door tightly with both hands and refused to get in the car.But a few years have passed, Zhang Weiping has become a human being, Zhang Weiping has cigarettes between his fingers, smiles, greets people, and even reaches out to shake hands with them, and is equal to everyone, all of which are deep. deeply moved For Qiao Nianchao.It was from that moment that Qiao Nianchao had the idea of ​​leaving the compound of the military region and going far away to make a living.In his adolescence, he still had many dreams in his heart. Dreams and reality are always far apart. Life makes Qiao Nianchao meet Liu Shuanglin. However, Fang Wei, his most trusted friend, is getting farther and farther away from him.He didn't expect his fate to be so bad, and his real life was far from his imagination.On a Sunday, he asked for leave and left the company to go to the division hospital. The division hospital was in the city, and their troops were in the suburbs. It took more than an hour to go back and forth. On that Sunday, Fang Wei, like other female soldiers, took care of personal hygiene in the morning, took a shower, and then washed the sheets. In the open space in front of the dormitory, between the trees, he pulled up the backpack straps, and those who were washed The snow-white sheets were draped over the straps of the backpack, like sails raised side by side.The female soldiers had fluffy hair and rosy faces because they had just taken a bath. At this time, they were already free, holding a book in their hands, some were reading "Nursing Knowledge Manual", some were reading novels , Those who have nothing to do, also sit in the sun and tell jokes and chat, a scene of communism is coming. It was on this occasion that Qiao Nianchao found Fang Wei. Fang Wei was standing under a tree reading a book. Her graceful figure was also like a swaying willow tree.The moment she saw Qiao Nianchao, she was not surprised, as if she knew that Qiao Nianchao should come at this time. Qiao Nianchao said with a playful smile: Long time no see, everything is okay? Fang Wei raised his head from the book, and said nonchalantly: If you don't stay in the company well, what are you doing here? Qiao Nianchao said: Look at you. She said: What am I good at? Qiao Nianchao stood one step away from Fang Wei, and he looked at her closely.He knew that she was no longer the Fang Wei she used to be, and she was alienating him.He really began to regret coming to the army with Fang Wei. The youthful Fang Wei in front of him was attracting him, and he smelled the unique girlish aura all over her body, and he felt an impulse in his heart.He wanted to stretch out his hand to hug Fang Wei, but Fang Wei seemed to have been prepared, and avoided it with a shake of his head.She said: "Qiao Nianchao, don't make any moves, and don't look at this place?" After finishing speaking, she gave him a blank look. Only then did Qiao Nianchao notice female soldiers flashing around from time to time, but he still said: What are you pretending to be?It's not like it hasn't happened before. Fang Wei lowered his voice and said: The past is the past, and the present is the present. He immediately asked: What about after that? She immediately replied: In the future?Just like you... Her words made him blush. For a moment, he didn't know what attitude to take towards Fang Wei.Before she was a soldier, she was completely his, and she could do whatever he asked her to do. He was her emperor, but now?She is far away, and she has become so that he dare not recognize her.He felt an unprecedented sadness, and the little dream left in his heart disappeared.He couldn't see his own future, nor could he see the future with Fang Wei. Everything he had with Fang Wei was just a dream of first love. He wanted to escape from here, the farther away from here the better.At this time, he saw Liu Shuanglin. At this time, Liu Shuanglin was much more energetic than when he was in the company. His hair was cut, his beard was shaved, and he was wearing a green military uniform. He walked over with a smile. Fang Wei also found Liu Shuanglin, and she exclaimed: Platoon Leader Liu, why are you here? She ran over.Her face turned even redder, as if seeing relatives whom she had not seen for a long time. They were young at that time, and Liu Shuanglin was the first army leader they met in their lives. Monotony, after all, is a vivid memory.When many female soldiers left the recruit company, they shed tears and waved goodbye to the people and environment where they had lived for three months. In another environment other than the recruit company, they met again, especially Fang Wei was very excited.Her eyes were covered with a layer of crystal clear liquid, if it overflowed, it would be called tears. Liu Shuanglin was much calmer than Fang Wei, he glanced at Qiao Nianchao and said: Nianchao is here too.I'm in the city on errands, so I stopped by to see the female soldiers you assigned to the hospital. Several other female soldiers who were assigned together also rushed over in surprise when they heard Liu Shuanglin's voice. They surrounded Liu Shuanglin in groups. Qiao Nianchao walked away from the crowd step by step, finally walked out of the hospital compound, and boarded the bus back to the company.Qiao Nianchao's various performances in the company have a lot to do with the environment in front of him. Qiao Nianchao in his youth has not yet had the ability to see through the whole life situation, he can only be influenced by his own mood and emotions.At this time, his mood is gloomy, without any gaps, and his mood is dull, which leads to his real appearance.He doesn't want to make progress, he has lost the motivation and direction to move forward, he can't even keep his first love, that precarious first love is like a kite with a broken string, nowhere to go, the result of this kind of emotion can be imagined And know.Qiao Nianchao began to hate everyone around him, he felt that everyone was sorry for him, and he was abandoned by life.Sometimes, he would lie on the bed all day, staring at the ceiling in a daze. After being in a daze, he would read a book in his hand. Only those illusory characters in the novel could enter his inner world and become friends with him. The cadres of the machine gun company held another emergency meeting for Qiao Nianchao's performance.This time they also found Qiao Nianchao's files, hoping to find some opportunities to do ideological work from there.His file is the same as that of all the children who came out of the army compound. The column of his home address reads: Wenyi Road.Father's occupation: soldier. Before this, Liu Shuanglin had already found out the backgrounds of these children in the compound when he was in the recruit company. He knew that Qiao Nianchao's father was the deputy chief of staff of the military region headquarters, a cadre at the military level It will make Liu Shuanglin so jealous that he can't sleep for three days and three nights. In this company cadre meeting, Liu Shuanglin's suggestion played a vital role.He said: In my opinion, it is better to write a letter to the chief and tell him about Qiao Nianchao's performance. The chief can't ignore it. Liu Shuanglin's suggestion was approved by most of the cadres, so the company commander gave Liu Shuanglin the task of writing a letter to the chief. On the other hand, the idea was his again.This glorious task fell on Liu Shuanglin.Liu Shuanglin stayed up three nights with the lights on and finally finished writing the letter. After being reviewed by the company commander and instructor, he signed the names of all the cadres and sent it out in the name of the machine gun company branch.They were very disturbed, not knowing what would happen next.It was the first time in their lives to write a letter to the head of the military region. If it wasn't for Qiao Nianchao's problem, or if they were given another chance, they would not have the courage to write to the head of the military region. One day after a month after the letter was sent, the company suddenly received a notice from the battalion, which said: Deputy Chief of Staff Qiao of the military region is coming to the division to inspect the work, and all units are required to make preparations before and after the inspection. General leaders come to inspect by department. The military region has three major departments: the headquarters, the political department, and the logistics department.Every year, working groups from various departments come to the troops to inspect the work. The inspections of each department are different. The command department comes to inspect the work, of course including weapons and ammunition, training conditions, etc., mainly in the military.Only the leader of the machine gun company understood why Deputy Chief of Staff Joe didn't come sooner or later, and why he came at this time.Superficial preparations still need to be carried out, and the cadres of the machine gun company have no idea what kind of identity Deputy Chief of Staff Joe will appear on various occasions, whether he is happy or angry, so the cadres of the machine gun company It's apprehensive. Of course Qiao Nianchao also knew the news that his father was coming to the army. He was very nervous in those two days, and he didn't know whether it was a blessing or a curse.At home, he is afraid of his father. He is the youngest child at home. There are two older brothers and one older sister. The older sister is already working. One older brother is a soldier in Xinjiang and is already the deputy battalion commander of the army. The other older brother is in Yunnan. As a soldier, he is also the deputy company commander.When he first proposed to serve in the army, his father didn't agree or disagree. He took out his household registration book at home, signed up, passed the medical examination quickly, and came to the army very quickly. I didn't encounter any resistance, that is to say, my father supported the matter of serving as a soldier, otherwise there would be no such result. Father was rarely at home, and he came home every day after dark, and sometimes he left before dawn.My father is in his fifties, and he joined the army in the year of the Liaoshen Campaign. His father made rapid progress.Because my father is very good at fighting, he can make meritorious service in every major battle. When he resisted US aggression and aided Korea, his father and his troops were the first to enter the dynasty. At that time, his father was already a division commander.My father had never served as a second-in-command to others in the previous war years. After three months in the army, he became a platoon leader.He participated in the famous Black Mountain blockade in the Liaoshen Campaign. In that battle, both battalions were wiped out. On the incomplete position, his father commanded the remaining eight troops, and he insisted on holding the iron-boned battalion flag high. Held it on the ground, ushered in reinforcements.After that battle, he was exceptionally promoted to battalion commander.During the Battle of Huaihai, he was already the head of the regiment, and he fought all the way to the ends of the earth. Every battle left an indelible mark on his father.As long as there is a major battle, my father will be wounded. He came out of the hospital and went to the hospital again. According to his own words, a bucket of blood flowed out, and ten catties of flesh were cut off by enemy shells.When Qiao Nianchao was a child, his father took him to swim once, and he actually saw his father's body.Except for the intact skin under the armpits, no part of the skin on the father's body is smooth. His father's scars made his father's skin uneven.That time he was shocked, and his hands trembled when he touched his father's body. My father is also very busy in his peaceful life, and it is actually my mother who runs the house.My father was rarely at home. He was either in the army to inspect work, or he held meetings in the war room of the military area.The father rarely talked privately with the children. As far as Qiao Nianchao could remember, his father had never said anything alone.In the father's conception, the tiger father has no dogs and sons.He believes that his children will fight for him no matter what they do. After receiving the letter suing Qiao Nianchao from the party branch of the machine gun company, his father became angry. While patting the letter, he said: Damn, it's not worth it. Therefore, he made a decision that he would personally visit Qiao Nianchao's division. When Deputy Chief of Staff Qiao appeared in the division's compound, the company below didn't know about it. After listening to various reports as a matter of routine, it was night.He didn't say a word. Of course, the leaders in the division didn't know that the son of Deputy Chief of Staff Joe was in their division. After dinner, back at the guest house, Deputy Chief of Staff Joe asked the secretary to call the machine gun company.He rushed to the secretary and said: Let that kid run to see me. The secretary said: Chief, the machine gun company is still some distance away from the division headquarters, let the car pick it up. Deputy Chief of Staff Joe repeated: Let him run. Qiao Nianchao knew that the problem was a bit tricky when he was running on the road. His father asked him to run, but he didn't have the slightest idea.He was accompanied by Liu Shuanglin.He went with him on the orders of the company commander. At the entrance of the guest house, Qiao Nianchao was welcomed by the secretary into the room of Deputy Chief of Staff Qiao, while Liu Shuanglin was left in the duty room of the guest house. When Qiao Nianchao entered, his father was sitting on the sofa reading a newspaper. Qiao Nianchao stood there and whispered: Dad, I'm here. Deputy Chief of Staff Qiao put down the newspaper and looked Qiao Nianchao up and down for two minutes. Father stood up later, with his hands behind his back, and his back was facing Qiao Nianchao. My father said: How have you been doing in the army these past few months? Hearing this, Qiao Nianchao began to sweat. He was already sweating after running on the road for more than 20 minutes just now. After entering the room, he felt very hot, and he was very nervous when he saw his father. Sweating was inevitable. that's it.So, while wiping the sweat from his brow, he replied: It's okay. He didn't know that the company had sued him in front of his father, and he wanted to get his father off the hook. Father suddenly patted the armrest of the sofa, because the armrest of the sofa was soft, the sound was not loud, but Qiao Nianchao could already feel his father's anger. Father said: Shame on you, you— After a long while, Deputy Chief of Staff Qiao went on to say: You are sick, you don’t do exercises, you don’t train, how can there be such soldiers in the army?You are not an ordinary soldier, you are my son, you are embarrassing me, how can I ask for troops in the future, um—— The muscles in Father's face were twitching. Only then did Qiao Nianchao know that someone had complained to his father.This time he didn't bother to wipe his sweat anymore, he lowered his head there, letting the sweat drip out. My father said: Today, you give me a hearty word. If you want to work in the army, you can continue to work. If you don’t want to do it, you can pack up your things tomorrow and go back with me, and retire early. Usually Qiao Nianchao doesn't care about anything, he is not afraid of being demobilized, he has lost confidence in reality.But leaving like this, he never thought about it.He left in such a disheveled state, could his father spare him? Sure enough, the father said again: Your two elder brothers are so hardworking, I don’t need to talk nonsense. They fulfill the responsibility of a soldier in the army. Qiao Nianchao shuddered, he didn't dare to look at his father's face anymore.He lowered his head, tears streaming down his face.He knew that at this time, he must never leave the army. If he left the army, in his father's eyes, he would be a deserter, and he would never be able to raise his head in front of his father for the rest of his life. After a while, he said in a crying voice: Dad, I won't go back. My father seemed to let out a long breath. My father said: It’s okay if you don’t go back, then you can raise your head, then leave here like a real soldier, and run back to your company. Qiao Nian raised his head little by little, at this moment he was no longer crying, he wiped the tears and sweat from his face with his sleeve, turned around, and didn't look back again.He knew his father's eyes had been on him. Along the way, even though Liu Shuanglin asked this and that, he didn't say a word. Liu Shuanglin asked: Why didn't your father let you stay here overnight? Liu Shuanglin also asked: What did your father tell you? Liu Shuanglin said again: If I had a father like you, well, that would be really... What it really is, Liu Shuanglin can't say, he is jealous and hates Qiao Nianchao.Liu Shuanglin understands that for a small person like him, his whole life's efforts are sometimes not as good as a word from the leader. If he hadn't accidentally saved the teacher's wife and daughter, he might have left the army long ago, so why would he still be today.Since then, he has had a very complicated psychology towards the leader and the chief.In his imagination, all things are not a matter for the leader, if it is a matter, it is a matter of one sentence.But if these things are placed in front of a mortal like him, it will be a big deal. While waiting for Qiao Nianchao in the duty room, he thought that the chief would meet him, ask about Qiao Nianchao's performance in the company, and then tell him some homely words and ask him to take care of Qiao Nianchao.He had thought about what he wanted to say in front of the chief. He wanted to give the chief a good impression. Maybe the chief would praise him in front of the division chief.In that case, it would be really beneficial to his future work.Unexpectedly, Qiao Nianchao came out so quickly, and then walked back without saying a word. He was full of curiosity about what happened in the middle. Liu Shuanglin followed behind Qiao Nianchao, nagging: If I were you, alas—— When Qiao Nianchao arrived at the company, the lights had already blew. He was lying on the bed and couldn't sleep. He felt very wronged. He thought that his father's visit to the division to check his work would bring some changes to him, but what he didn't expect was , not only did not change, but also made him die of this heart.In other words, there is only one way for him, and that is to do well and not do badly, otherwise, he will not be able to enter that house again.And he looked like this in front of him, the more he thought about it, the more wronged he felt. In fact, before his father came to the army, he always imagined his father as a big tree behind him, a tree he imagined from his heart, but the current situation is that his father is not the tree he wants, he The big tree suddenly fell, and he lost his roots.He was covered with a quilt and wanted to cry happily, but he was afraid of being heard.Quietly, he put on his clothes again, and touched the pigsty of the company behind the cooking squad. There was an open space with two small rooms. There lived a veteran who fed pigs. His clothes were always stained with oil. He looks very out of gregarious, and he rarely integrates into the company.He was playing a game here, but he just watched with his hands folded, his face always dull. In the eyes of ordinary soldiers, this veteran was a pig feeder. He had been feeding pigs since he came to the company. He had already fed pigs. Four years old pig.I don't know how long he can feed the pigs.I heard from veterans that every time the company slaughtered pigs, the veterans who fed the pigs would cry for the pigs that were killed.He doesn't eat meat, and he won't go into the cafeteria until the pig's meat is eaten up by the company. That night, Qiao Nianchao squatted by the pigsty and burst into tears.His cries startled the pigs at first, and the pigs came over without knowing what had happened, and looked at him inexplicably.Later, the veteran surnamed Zhao was also awakened. He put on his clothes, opened the door, and squatted there silently.It wasn't until Qiao Nianchao stopped crying that he realized that the veteran surnamed Zhao was a little embarrassed and also a little sudden.Just when he didn't know what to do, Veteran Zhao spoke up. Veteran Zhao said: You are the recruit named Qiao. Qiao Nianchao's heart became calmer, and he looked at Veteran Zhao silently. Veteran Zhao said again: "Cry, it's fine if you cry. I've fed pigs here for four years and I've heard people cry here."The company commander has cried here, the instructor has also cried here, and your platoon leader Liu Shuanglin has also cried here. He cried when he was homesick, and he cried when something happened. After crying, he will be fine. Qiao Nian walked towards Veteran Zhao. He sat on the steps, took out a cigarette, and handed one to Veteran Zhao. Veteran Zhao took the cigarette. Veteran Zhao said: Are you homesick?Many recruits are homesick, cry twice and forget. Qiao Nianchao felt that the veteran Qiao in front of him was very kind, as if he had known Veteran Zhao for a long time.He suddenly had an idea that he wanted to be with Veteran Zhao, because Veteran Zhao would not hurt him.So he blurted out: Veteran Zhao, let me learn from you to feed pigs. Veteran Zhao looked at him in disbelief.After a while, Veteran Zhao said: Stop talking nonsense, brother, who wants to do these worthless jobs? He replied: I would. Veteran Zhao gave him another serious look. From that moment on, Qiao Nian made up his mind to feed the pigs.