Chapter 5 Title IV Housing

In one of W. Auden's poems, he writes, "One sees the sick not only in city clinics, but in country houses at the end of private drives." I believe, Auden The people in question cannot be poor, or even middle class.A class signaler knows that if a person has a driveway, that driveway is about as important a signal of social status as the house at the end of the driveway. 【Lane If you can't find Mr. X's driveway at all, please make a wild guess: the owner of this house must belong to the invisible top floor.Only from the upper classes did the lanes become visible for study, and generally the higher the social class the longer the lanes.Plus, a long, winding driveway is far more stylish than a long, straight driveway.The reason, as Van Beuren observed, is that winding driveways take up more land and have little practical value.He notes that the most classy lanes are "those that curve around on flat ground" according to the "non-practical criterion."If the ground is uneven, detours will add practical value, so it still cannot reflect the noble social status of the owner.The function of the curved driveway is merely to show off and show off.Even the relatively modest upper-middle-class driveway is less impressive than the winding one that leads straight to the garage.

Not only the style of the driveway, but the pavement material of the driveway is also a factor that cannot be ignored.Among middle-class driveways, those paved with dull gravel are the most impressive.Beige is best, white less so, as the latter goes against the principle of avoiding eye-catching and stark contrasts.Asphalt pavement is inferior, because it is too economical and practical.Gravel is preferred over asphalt not because it is a natural material, but because it must be replaced frequently, which would be more expensive, troublesome, and inconvenient.Frequently spending money that could otherwise be spent is undeniably a status symbol.

【Fence Because privacy is the mark of the highest class, walls higher than six feet mark the rank of the owner, and low walls and hedges that can see through.Or a residence with no walls at all, proclaiming the owner's middle-class status.If the grandeur of a dwelling is well known and not visible from the road, you may find a gate at the entrance to the estate, otherwise there is no need for a gate at the entrance, as that would be too ostentatious. 【house number In fact, people's vanity and love to show off can also be captured through the house number.One way is to write the house number in capital letters instead of Arabic numerals, such as "two hundred and five", as if it were a stationery store. (The house numbers of Western stationery stores are usually in capital letters. -Translator's Note).In the same way, the "Two Hundred and Five" is even more off-putting.Another way is to write the surname somewhere on the front of the house or on the mailbox, such as "Johnson House", as if the Zunfu is an institution or official residence.The third method is to engrave the name of the house on the front of the house: "Wen Lou Mansion", which seems to remind people of Windsor Castle.You can do whatever you can in this area, especially if you're upper-middle class and you have a penchant for British taste.But don't forget that the practice of naming houses is also very popular among the poor in the UK. For them, what they want to convey is the following message: our house is not a public housing provided by the government, and it is owned by powerful homeowners. , and the owner pays most of the purchase price of the private house.

【garage Now, let's look at the garage.There was a time when the upper-middle and middle classes got so overwhelmed by the garage that they hid it behind the house along with other unseemly outbuildings like sheds and stables.Time has passed, and now the garage has become a symbol of the owner's identity. They are located in the open space next to the house for passers-by to enjoy.The garage is preferably spacious enough to allow two or three cars to park side by side.If there are backboards and hoops on the outside wall, it means that there is at least one child in the house who is in school and has plenty of time to exercise.The easier it is to see a new year house from the street, the higher its cost, and the more ingenious the garage door, so it is more eye-catching and enviable.Garages for more than three cars were seldom seen, not because such garages did not exist, but because they belonged to famous families and thus became as hidden as their invisible mansions.Approach any of the residences and you will be overwhelmed by oncoming grade signals.Of course this won't scare the serious researcher, so let's examine each aspect in turn.

【lawn The first is the lawn, which is an important part of the character of England, and thus the hallmark of Anglophiles.An overly tidy lawn is often a symptom of social anxiety, suggesting we are approaching a middle-class home.If there is no crabgrass in the lawn at all, we can be sure that the owner must have spent a lot of time mowing, lest the overgrown lawn lower his social class.Brooks notes that the lawn has become a "classic arena for watching people show off and compare themselves, while also exposing the attendant anxieties of their owners." Turning a blind eye to someone's lawn can lead to dire consequences in middle-class neighborhoods. revenge. "It wasn't obvious," said William H. Walter, "but the look, the cold look and the sour greeting were shocking, and they've broken a lot of people's nerves."

【livestock If you want to raise animals on grass (only the upper class do this kind of thing), the most fundamental principle is: they must not be sheep, cows, goats and other animals that can be used for the table, Ve Buren believes There is a hint of "frugality" in doing that.If you want to keep more expensive and attractive animals, such as elk or elephants.These animals "neither actually nor potentially suggest gross profiteering," but are happy.This is the fundamental embodiment of the "useless" principle. 【courtyard decoration In regions with cold climates, when the factory lawn is covered with heavy snow, the headache for the middle class comes.The lawn can no longer be used for showing off.How to do it?They compensated for this loss with Christmas lights.Reindeer made of asbestos boards hopped by the door, and a funny Santa Claus was going down the chimney.Pious people will still be in the grass.Nativity drawings painted on plywood are placed on the floor.No one seems to have fully studied why the middle class loves to hold "neighborhood Christmas lights" (John Brooks's phrase), is it to improve the image in the eyes of the poor?It seems that no one has investigated the relationship between the lantern show and the "lawn" in detail.Walter, who studied a suburb for his The Organized Man (1950), reports that, on holidays, it is brilliantly illuminated and that a hundred thousand people (mostly of the poor, of course) drive in every year to see it. Breathtaking.

But when we see the permanent exhibits flaunting on the lawn, we are approaching the poor on the class ladder.Among them, the middle and upper class often have a dazzling white urn in the yard, and there are also "big trees" poked in front of the window. They have about fifteen cast iron branches painted green, hanging from the branches. A hoop for holding flower pots.Some people's exhibits are not only for people to appreciate, but also for people to visit, such as the statue of the Virgin Mary standing in the yard.You can see reliefs like this on the bottom of some old-fashioned footed tubs just by standing them up.The lesser ones displayed plastic Patronuses, flamingos and Disney animals, and glittering balls the size of blue or purple basketballs atop fluted concrete plinths.The underclass painted discarded wooden tires white and planted flowers inside. (Car tires are slightly more upscale).The flower beds of the poorest people in this class are surrounded by broken light bulbs or discarded beer bottles.Rusty supermarket trolleys are parked in the front yard, quietly waiting to be used again.

【flowers and plants If you think that planting flowers will not damage the social status of the homeowner, you are very wrong.Upper-middle-class families grow azaleas, lilacs, amaryllis, columbine, clematis, and roses (except bright red).If you want to know which flowers belong to vulgar people, just look out for Sunday morning religious programs hosted by Rex Humberd or Robert Schuler on TV, and their favorite varieties are mainly geraniums (the red ones are not as good as the pink ones). ), poinsettias, and chrysanthemums.Even without paying attention to the quality of the sermons, you know right away that they are upper-middle-class poor-class flowers.The poor also planted phlox, zinnias, clumps of flowers, and gladiolus such as begonias, dahlias, fuchsias, and petunias.Upper-middle-class poor people sometimes tried to reduce their vulgarity by planting bright red flowers in wheelbarrows or small rowboats on their front lawns, but with little success.

Advertising is a great way to identify the social language embodied by flowers.In her book "American Funeral Customs," which studies the funeral industry, Mitford draws attention to an ad in the trade journal celebrating the long-established union of florists and spice-preserving merchants.The ad features a young widow receiving flowers, and the caption reads: Grief fades away, tenderness returns.Astute readers can tell at a glance that she is holding a chrysanthemum. 【whose house But what class of residences are we approaching?New houses are often difficult to determine the identity of the owner because they are too ordinary, too uniform, and too ugly.Russell Rings' point of view is ironic but not biased.He said:

"A dwelling today, however expensive it may be, is like a box, or a series of boxes linked together. Sometimes houses have steeply pointed roofs covered with white cornices, a style which has been euphemistically called a cod Corner style. A house that is longer than it is wide and has a sloping roof is called a ranch bungalow. If the house is square, it is called a bungalow. If it is a two-story box, it is considered a "colonial." Two boxes side by side And built, with one side slightly higher than the other, are split-level (both split-level Cape Cod cottages and split-level ranch bungalows).

These are upper-middle-class and middle-class homes, with upper-class homes further back from the street.But if it was built in the past twenty-five years, there is basically not much difference.On the other hand, finding the housing patterns of the poor can be tricky, since the houses are smaller and the driveways (straight and short, of course, paved with asphalt) are crammed with runabouts, trailers, and trailers. There were one or two rusting cars behind the front house.If the building material is concrete slabs, it will give people a more authentic and more like a feeling of poor housing.If you remove the driveway and the cars in the backyard, and add a well house in the front yard, a poor house suddenly becomes a middle-class house.The well house is an integral part of the New England style of architecture, one of the middle-class reverence for antiquity. New England architecture also hangs a lamp on either side of the front door, which looks like an old-fashioned car lamp made of brass or black iron; a similar lamp hangs on a tall white doorpost to illuminate the door trail ahead.There are removable round weathervanes on the roof and a colonial-style eagle carved in black and gilt on the front door.The door may be aluminum, but it is painted in a similar essential color, giving it a hand-carved effect.No house seems to be stingy enough to be devoid of eagles, though the image has long since lost its connotation of being an "early Native American."An upper-middle-class friend of mine noticed a large number of these eagles on some rather shabby little houses, and he thought them a clear indication that the place was a seamen's quarter.The middle class prefers other old-fashioned things. Some imitate the American farmhouses with warm and comfortable colors and high quality in the 19th century, and some imitate the "Tudor" architectural style, boldly adopting wooden structures, and striving for solidity and perfection. and trustworthy. Given the uniformity of residential structures today, the homeowner had to rely on inlays on the front of the foyer and decorations (e.g. eagles) to reflect the social status he wanted to project.In the 1950s, the television aerials installed on the roof, and the conspicuous air conditioners, embodied this social function.But those times are over, and now the two are sending a message that is entirely unfavorable to homeowners.Halls and porches are like human tongues, conveying an unambiguous class message.The façade of a home strives to command respect, regardless of the status of its owner, and thus becomes the saddest work of art: a straightforward call to dignity, a yearning for the attention of others. One of the ways of the middle class is through absolute symmetry in order to obtain a "neoclassical" effect.They did it with a well-known trick: pulling the curtains just so symmetrically on either side, revealing the pictured door panes of the ranch bungalow.There is a small table in the center of the hall, and the desk lamp is placed in the middle of the table.Apparently, the plastic wrapping on the lampshade was still intact.A similar effect of symmetry (indicating its inherent tidiness) can be achieved by placing two metal chairs with tubular armrests in the foyer, forming a "conversational group", deaf to the noise of traffic and traffic , stood still. The middle class, eager for dignity, often used pilasters to increase the weight of buildings and emphasize their importance.One of the modes of their housing was to have these columns painted white, usually four, two stories high, supporting a very light little roof over the "South Tower".Such deceitful pillars are typical of middle-class housing.In houses of the lower social classes, we can see the phenomenon of two huge square brick columns supporting a light porch roof, or overly stout doorposts made of large cobblestones mixed with mortar, or The doorposts, made of cast iron, pretended to hold the shutters, which weighed only thirty pounds, from falling to the ground. There is a middle-class house not far from my house, the owner of which shows self-respect almost to the point of arrogance.It was actually a modest one-story house: a gray box on the second floor covered by asbestos slabs.The sloping roof is also unremarkable, looking very much like an army barracks, structurally unremarkable.But the owner, at the expense of boasting, had built a façade of fake brick, and the doorway was flanked by gigantic white Ionic columns carved with vertical flutes, when in reality they were useless. (The principle of the curve over the straight line also applies to the column. This gentleman has learned its essence: the square column is the least, the round column is better, and the round and fluted is the best).Contrary to his good intentions, the red brick wall facing us contrasted too sharply with the abundance of typical "colonial" white trim - white window sills, white shutters, white canopy etc.The way the house is presented is simply calling on the observers to look only at the front under any circumstances, and never pay attention to its real sides and back.It vividly exemplifies Ve Buren's sober thesis about the apartment buildings of his day: "The upper-class apartment buildings of our cities, displaying useless facades of various kinds, inflict endless misery on the construction industry . . . The sides and backs, never touched by the 'artists', are generally the most beautiful of the whole building." Where the middle class meets the upper poor, the bright red and the blinding white have a noble and elegant connotation, which reminded me of an upper poor house in a small city I once visited.It's near the sidewalk and up a short flight of concrete steps.There is a concrete lion on each side of the steps. They squat with their heads held high, and their bodies are painted white, except for their open mouths that are dripping red.You might think they carry some sort of quasi-"heraldic" message, and it would probably take a few semioticians a few weeks to figure out what they mean.In fact, painting the brick bright red with white mortar joints can have a similar effect.Chances are you've seen this poor house logo, also known as the "Sheraton Effect" (Sheraton Effect, referring to the design style of eighteenth-century British kitchen cabinet designer Thomas Hilton, known for its simplicity and straight and neat edges. A translation Note by the author), there are steps in front of the door, at least three steps, covered with bright green outdoor plastic carpet, the edges are cut neatly, and the four corners of the steps are painted white. The upper poor usually have "swing chairs" in their porches, the lower poor use the back seats from old cars instead, the important thing is to have something to rest on.You'll see refrigerators on the porches of slum dwellings in the southern states.Why is it placed in such a strange position?This probably stems from a nineteenth-century tradition when refrigerators were placed on the back porch so that lower-class ice sellers didn't need to enter the main house.The refrigerator on the porch these days serves two purposes, one is to let passers-by know that you own an expensive piece of furniture, and the other is to store the items you need when leaning on the rocking chair: "soda drink", (the author here implies Refers to alcohol. Most of the poor in the United States are Christians, and they often feel guilty about drinking, so they lie about drinking "sode". -Translator's Note) or "pipe" (the author here alludes to marijuana. -Translator's Note) , fruit, and similar beverage refreshments. Now we go around the house and look around. Windows also show social status, and the principle is the same as ancient.The noblest windows are wooden vertical sash windows in imitation of the eighteenth century.The more glass panes the better, the standard is no less than six, twelve is very good.You might think that the diamond-shaped windows in the Dufeng style represent the upper class based on ancient principles.In fact, these windows are obviously deceptive, artificial and exaggerated, simply absurd, like the architectural style of an academic or Gothic church built in a certain country in the eighteenth century.Some of the paupers elevate their status by putting portholes in their split-level ranch houses, one to five feet in diameter, with white edges like growth rings.They want to feel like they live on a yacht year-round, but very few feel good about it.If one were to install vertically-sliding double windows, the essentials were superior to metal ones, not only because of their organic principles, but also because the large windows seemed to suggest a home with servants who opened and closed the windows. 【outdoor furniture If there is a servant in the house, he should also be responsible for looking after the outdoor furniture at the back of the house.For this part, organic materials are also important, and the last thing is a folding chair made of aluminum tubes with bright green mesh, which will loosen and loosen over time.Wooden furniture may be optimal, always with lots of overstuffed cushions, since genteel principles do not allow any discomfort (except on motorboats).If you can't sit on stretched PVC strips indoors, why can you be outdoors?If there is a terrace at the back of the house, it must be larger than necessary in order to reflect class status, and there must be a dining table with a glass top, and the glass must be bright and recognizable.Because the glass is easy to get dusty, it implies that a servant must be cleaned frequently. (By the way, there must be many mirrors in the room to be satisfactory).Breakfast on such a spacious terrace, at such a polished glass table, is the model of happiness established by movies in the 1940s and 1950s for the upper and middle classes: you sit on a cast-iron chair with snow-white cushions ( Black-painted cast-iron chairs, with a few exceptions, do not violate organic principles), such a table to lean against and drink fresh-squeezed orange juice.Of course, you are not alone, there must be a beautiful woman by your side. 【car Alright, time to talk about cars.Like the all-important home facade, the car is another outdoor exhibit.High society does not pay enough attention to automobiles, because according to their antiquity principles, the history of automobiles is too short to be worthy of the ranks of classic style.But there is always a car to drive, so if you are rich and have the time (both of which allow you to buy any make of car), then buying the cheapest and most common car shows that you are not taking such an easy-to-buy product seriously, thereby Will not damage your grade image.You'd better have a Chevrolet, Ford, Plymouth, or Dodge and have no interest in fussing about their make or color.The car is likely to be clean, although at best it is a little dusty.All in all, the car must be boring. From the upper class down, you can have a "better" car, like a Jaguar or a BMW, but it has to be old.You better not own a Rolls Royce, Cadillac or Mercedes.Especially Mercedes-Benz cars, Joseph Epstein reported in "American Scholar" (Winter 1981-1982): keen young West German intellectuals believed that Mercedes-Benz cars marked a kind of "advanced vulgarity, a special A brand for Beverly Hills dentists and African cabinet ministers.” Exactly, only the worst of the middle and upper classes would buy a Mercedes, just as the best of them drive Oldsmobiles, Buicks, and Chryslers, and maybe Jeeps and Landovers. -Translator Note).High-end off-road vehicles convey such a hint: the traffic in the place where you live is not yet developed, and the road may not even be paved, and even the most vulgar high-end car may not be passable. Another principle is: the higher your class status, the slower the car.There are two kinds of people who like to drive fast cars, those who want to impress the girl of their own background in the seat next to them. Insecure.The middle class, worried about their class status, has seen too many movies about racing cars, so they think that driving fast cars is romantic, sexy and exciting.In fact, to be classy is to drive slowly, steadily, and quietly along the middle of the road. The class signals displayed by the car are not limited to the make, model, and condition of the car, but also include the objects displayed on the car, such as the three rifles on the luggage rack of the pickup truck, the shotgun and the carbine hanging from the rear window, posted on the The sticker of "Southern Methodist University" (the author means a church university. In the United States, the academic level of most church universities is relatively low. A translator's note) on the window glass, and the sticker on the rear window of the middle and upper class Sticker: "I'd Rather Go Sailing".The prolet loves to adorn their cars with imitation leopard-skin upholstery and toy dice dangling from the front and rear windows.Doll shoes and small bumper stickers such as "South of the border," "Ayatollah a waste snack" (referring to the Iranian religious leader Khomeini. A translator's note), "Lovers of Christ please Honk" and so on.Of course, the cars of the poorer classes also included trinkets like the tiny plastic statue of St. Christopher on the dashboard.The middle class likes bumper stickers, too, though more likely to draw attention to something like "I put the brakes on for critters." Americans, as far as I know, are the only people in the world who, driven by status anxiety, flaunt their affiliation with a particular university in the rear window of a car.You can travel all over Europe and never find a car with "Christian College" or "School of Paris" plastered on it.American traditions have made higher education so sacred that no joke, humor, or imitation is appropriate.When you think about it, there really is nothing more revered by Americans of all walks of life than the college sticker on the rear window.Americans would rather disrespect the flag than mock a rear sticker and what it says.Like not posting backwards, diagonally, or putting "college" and "university" in ironic quotes.I heard that a young man re-spelled the letters of "STANFORD" (STANFORD, a famous American university. A translator's note) into "SNODFART" (meaning "Snard's fart". A translator's note), Then stick it on the rear window.This rare and scandalous behavior is truly significant.No family lucky enough to have a connection to Harvard or Princeton (however long that connection) would ever put a Coutts City State College sticker on the back of their car, even for the sake of humor.The ethical questions raised by these stickers are uniquely American.How long after a family member graduates from a prestigious school continues to wear that school's sticker?a year?five years?ten years?or forever?Families in the United States deserve authoritative guidance on how to deal with this problem, and I think that guidance should preferably come from the universities themselves. 【Interior Furnishing and Decoration Just as you don't generally make fun of college stickers, you don't make fun of the furnishings and decor of someone's home, especially the living room, "A few inches to the best part of a home that might otherwise be forever." No," Russell Rings said.When you step inside, you can tell at a glance whether this is an upper-middle-class or a middle-class home.They tried to limit the space occupied by bedrooms and "behind the scenes" areas, leaving a spacious living room and parlor as a stage for class displays.Sociologist Stuart Chapin, who elaborated fifty years ago in his "Contemporary American Customs" (1935) on the display of cultural features in the living room, said that "the display of cultural objects in the living room is very important to friends and visitors about the The perception of the master's social position may have immeasurable influence." To help calculate the grade information that a living room conveys, Chapin devised a tool he calls a "living room rating scale" to add or subtract points to various furnishings.For example, having an alarm clock in the living room earns you two points; placing three or more utensils above the fireplace earns you eight points; and having a hardwood floor nets you ten points.Two points for every window with curtains, eight points for every shelf full of books, and eight points for every newspaper and magazine.If you don't pay attention, the sewing machine is placed in the living room, and two points will be deducted.These ideas are admirable, but they also have drawbacks.On the one hand, Chapin's classification is not perfect, in the case of magazines, what matters should be what magazine, such as "Reader's Digest" or "Family Circle" will greatly lower your level, but you can get it through "Smithsonian Institution Magazine or The Art Newspaper to strike a balance.Second, Chapin fails to take into account the upper-middle-class "parody display," which has come a long way since then.Among the regrettable objects he has noticed are sewing machines, which today can be the content of comic displays in a parodic high-tech setting.I've tried to update his rating scale to make it an easy, more reliable way to measure yourself, your neighbors, and your friends.In the appendix of this book you will find the scoring sheet I designed. 【High society living room In upper-class homes, the roof of the living room is generally eleven to thirteen feet above the ground (equivalent to three meters three to four meters. One transliteration note), with unnecessary decorations on skirting boards, door panels, and the like. The curves of the wood, where the wood can be seen, are dark instead of light, trying to give people an old-fashioned feeling.The floor must be hardwood (parquet is ideal) with a hand-loomed oriental rug, and it must be old to the point of wear and tear to give the impression of having been passed down through generations. (Conversely, a new hand-woven oriental rug. No matter how expensive it looks, it is a sure sign that the owner is at best middle class.) Upper-class living rooms will have exquisite handmade chair cushions, or brick doorsteps. Needle eye pads.It all speaks to the presence of an intelligent mistress of the house and the spice she adds to every corner as she spends her leisure. Generally speaking, the more European the decor in the living room, the higher the social class of the owner, black and white marble corridors, carved railings and handrails, ornate brocade walls, brass doorknobs (someone needs to clean them every day, Of course not the owner himself), all of which reflect the elegant high society style of un-American.Another item, though not indispensable in high society, but by no means common to households outside this class, was an obelisk of marble or crystal stone on a table.This display is not implying any relationship with Egypt (the author refers to the pyramids here. A translator’s note), because there is no noble class to speak of there, but points to Paris (the author refers to the Eiffel Tower here. A translator’s note ), which also unambiguously hints at a connection to the Tiffanv gift shop, considered by connoisseurs to be the main outlet for items of this type.Finally, high-society living rooms were bound to have fresh flowers (middle-class housewives called them "fresh flowers" to distinguish them from the plastic flowers that existed in their world). [upper-middle-class living room A little lower class is upper middle class.At this time the drawing-room landscape begins to take on other features, such as portraits of the owner or his wife, painted by such an unskilled painter as Zota Davidson, who is said to be "a well-known portrait artist known for his Renowned for his expressive realism." (Who knows who he is?) She is said to be available through the Bergdorf Goodman agency to paint your portrait.If that's too expensive, you can also hang a portrait of you (as if you were Churchill) by Yusuf Karsh, who often advertises in The New Yorker.If it were to be framed, it would have to be bordered in silver, just as the cigarette case on the coffee table is bordered in cedar.If there is room on the bookshelf in the living room, you can always recall the ad for a company calling itself Yard Books: (601 Madison Avenue, New York City): "Leather-bound books, eighteenth and nineteenth century Novels, biographies, missionary literature, prose, Shakespeare, Fielding, Carlyle, Swift, Pope, Johansson, Milton and other master masterpieces, the best interior decoration of Zunfu." Authentic upper-middle-class living room There is bound to be a hint of the ship in it, such as a framed map of Nantucket Island, implying that the owner knew the waters in that area.In this class, hand-woven oriental rugs are old but not yet worn out. Living rooms of the upper classes tended to resemble art galleries or museums, while those of the middle and lower classes resembled hotel rooms.Remember, there is a critical social status dividing line.See if the artwork or antiques in the house are genuine or replicas. Tiffany table lamp is a good example.Once imitations made of plastic instead of glass appeared in middle-class homes and restaurants, the furnishings lost their status irrevocably, and today they can be found even in the furnishings of poor houses. [middle-class living room A middle-class living room might have "shutters" somewhere, the furniture (mostly Colonial) is often made of maple or pine, the lovely plates on the wall next to the light switches, There are porcelain, flowers, cartoon characters, imitation embroidery and so on everywhere.The shelves on the wall are sure to catch your attention, where they are often stocked with quirky collectibles such as match clips and glass rods for mixing drinks.The floor is covered with chemical fiber carpets (this is the most prominent feature of the middle class), the blinds are not wooden but metal, and the splints of the blinds are curved.If you have potted plants in your house, there's a good chance that some of them are cacti. The most middle-class accessories must be decorations that can avoid controversy or have no ideological tendency.Yes, the more cautious the better.Appropriate pictures include boats, children, and animals.Idyllic, rather than suggestive images such as "French," "The Civil War," "New York," or "Eastern European immigrants."Avoid arguments as much as possible, and even disagreements.Gentle aphorisms and symbols help with this, and one of the most popular is: "Great spirit, I have gone in my neighbor's moccasins a mile, allow me to reproach him for a few words". The picture of Audubai's birds on the wall is lighthearted because it has no ideological meaning. The combination ledge is more popular than the rotten rack because it is easier to install the stereo and TV and stuff like that. (Besides, the title on the spine can be controversial. Likewise, the real middle-class coffee table has a nondescript book or magazine, or someone will have an opinion , ask embarrassing questions, even talk about an idea, a picture slide projector is a must-have for the middle class, almost as popular as National Geographic because it replaces conversation. It has no opinions,令人愉快，是消除争论之忧的灵丹妙药。中产阶级对思想意识的忧虑，明显地流露在他们中流行的一个词“好品味”当中，这个同儿的意思按照拉塞尔·林斯的解释就是：“绝无冒犯，毫无特点。”（为使你的起居室有“好品味”你应当去纽约的w．＆J．Sloan店或芝加哥的Marshall Field店买东西。） 中产阶级的装演缺乏特点的原因之一，是因为他们的女人从畅销杂志上获得想法。一位主妇对林斯说：“如果你从杂志上看到了一件东西，我想它差不多就是人们会永远喜欢的物品。”这样一来，也就会有挂在砖墙上的铜煎锅，以及富有殖民风格的墙纸。另一个原因是，中产阶级因工作缘故经常被他们的雇主从一个城市的郊区迁移到另一个城市的效区，适用于一幢房子的饰品必须同样适用于另一幢房子。怪不得一位中产阶级家庭主妇对万斯·帕卡德说：“适合经常搬家的东西我就不多挑剔了。” 【贫民阶层起居室 由中产阶级的起居室变为贫民阶层的起居室，只需添上瑙加海德人造革沙发，再把意识形态请回来就行了，但这回的意识形态，仅限于“耶稣基督在联合国”之类的说法中体现的那种。厚厚的透明塑料布盖住了家具面料，沙发四周挂着流苏，灯罩上悬挂着毛线球，下面可能还结着大蝴蝶结，用装饰品商的话来说，这些饰品满足了贫民对“大量”的热望。餐桌的桌面是一种叫佛米卡的抗热塑料薄板，其余的部分是金属制品。 【电视机 在一所房子里不能久留的观察者，只须留心一下电视机摆放的位置，通常就可以很公正地估计出主人的阶级地位。原则上社会等级越高的家庭，电视机出现在起居室里的可能性就越小。如果出于方便或没有别的地方摆放电视，可以通过滑稽陈设除去它令人不快的方面，表明你并没打算认真对待它，而仅仅把它当作摆放丑陋骇人的小雕塑、怪模怪样的纪念品、滑稽可笑的婚庆礼品之类东西的地方。 这些建议是以你有电视为前提的，上流社会倾向于不看电视。在新近出版的一本书里，刊登了一百幅上层人士位于伊利诺斯州森林猢的家庭照片，只有一幅照片里有电视机。一位工业发言人说：电视显而易见“不是贵族们的媒体。”令人吃惊的是，有些上层人士根本没有听说过露茵或木偶莫巴。（均为美国流行的电视剧人物。一译者注） 为了除去电视的粗俗性，中上层阶级的方式是把它打扮得怪模怪样的，以便看起来像是别的什么东西，比方说像一件“精巧的家具”，或用珍贵木材做的哥特式饮料柜。再不就把它隐藏在双面镜的后面，或藏在油画背后，使用时只需挪开画面就能露出它的小屏幕来。还可以效仿英国批评家彼得·康拉德观察到的作法：“通常是在上流人士的家中，电视机规规矩矩地和书一起挤在书架上，好像靠近了书籍，电视就可以变成一件图书室里的物品了。” 在中产阶级和上层贫民中，电视不再是耻于见人的物品，而是带给家庭某种特定荣耀的东西。你会发现，电视机正在炫耀它们复杂的技术，控制盘很像是喷气式飞机或字航舱里才有的东西。还可能发现两台或更多的电视机（当然全是彩色的）。越靠近下层，电视整天开着的可能性就越大。如果你有一台或多台很少关闭的电视，那么你要么是为电视工业或新闻界服务，要么是在帮着美国总统处理公共关系，要么就是开电器商店的。在中层或下层贫民中，电视很可能摆放在餐厅或厨房里，一家入在那里用餐，这样电视就顺顺当当地取代了谈话。这正是中产阶级和贫民阶层依赖电视的真上原因。 【电视节目 当然，你看什么节目也会立亥（暴露你的身份。将电视伪装成其他物品的中上层人士，不过偶尔看看全国公共电视台播出的教育节目或专题新闻，如对最近一起政治刺杀的报道。，中产阶级喜爱“MASH”以及“家居生活”，偶尔也看看“犬兔越野追逐赛”(假扮兔于者在前边跑边撒纸屑，假扮猎犬者在后追踪的户外运动。一译者注），但他们最喜爱的还是体育节目，尽管“观看”不是准确的用词。你在比赛现场时才能叫做观看，从电视中看比赛是在当“间接观众”（罗杰·普赖斯语）。罗杰相当严厉地评论道：“是别的什么人正在替我们观看我们的比赛。”越是身体剧烈运动的体育项目，越降低你的层次。网球、高尔夫球甚至保龄球要比拳击、冰球和职业足球赛更高雅。中产阶级每天按时收看电视新闻。他们收看沃尔特·克罗恩凯特主持的七点钟新闻，并对他推崇备至。哪怕是傲慢的丹·拉瑟播报的新闻，他们也一样会定时收看。他们就是为电视而生的一个群体。也许这就是全国下午出版的报纸都由于无人问津而消亡的原因。 中产阶级里的最下层和贫民中的上层，是电视游戏节目的忠实观众。这些节目包括不那么低档的在两性方面成熟大胆的搞笑节目，如“家庭世仇”，和主持人平庸的节目如“TicTac Dough”之类。这类节目主持人越丑陋，对贫民的吸引力越大，“重磅炸弹”就是个例证。在相貌滑稽可笑的主持人比尔·卡伦面前，谁也不会有低人一等的感觉。大家觉得，比尔的聚脂纤维上衣看起来更像咱们贫民中的一员。 下层贫民也不时看看上述节目。对他们来说，只要电视机开着他们就相当满足了，因为电视始终传递着这样一条崇高的信息：“咱家买得起彩电。”从这个值得炫耀的高科技盒子里，中层和下层贫民喜爱情境喜剧。这些节目要么是直截了当的魔术（如“飞行修女”），要么是某种科技制造出来的奇迹：如“庞然大物”，“神奇女人”，“百万富翁”等。“庞然大物”产生于使用过量的伽马射线，它和因为氪元素创造的“超人”一样，备受贫民的喜爱。我在想，科学和技术并没有力整个社会所接受，（在电视剧《重访布莱德史特》里，无论塞巴斯蒂安·弗莱特在牛津做什么学问，那都不能算是化学），也许部分原因就在于，对科技的兴奋和对进步的幻想带有典型的贫民特征。中下层贫民还喜爱“爱之船”、“吉利根岛”之类的情景喜剧，这些节目对话轻松，情节拖沓，如果全家人里有谁没听懂哪句话，也不会感到难堪。观看“燧石”一类的节目是接近社会底层的标志，这类观众买报纸看只是为了里面的幽默专栏。在收看新闻节目和体育专访时，你一定留意过那种人（并不全是青少年），抓住每一个机会将自己挤进拍摄背景里，或者乱蹦乱跳，或者疯狂地挥舞手臂，脸上带着造作的戏剧性笑容。为了让媒体捕捉住，哪怕只有一秒钟，再被家人和朋友们辨认出来（该多么荣耀！），这类行为表明他们是地道的下层贫民。 大多数中下层贫民因为工作时。受人管制而心怀憎恨，他们立刻就能与电视中处于同样困境的人物产生共鸣，剧中人和他们一样经常受到主管、工头、巡视员的骚扰。警匪剧也很受欢迎，除了因为这类作品带有暴力和胁迫的成份，还因为观众中的贫民能在时而违抗老板、时而与之周旋、时而又迁就听命于老板的剧中人身上找到自己的影子。类似的电视“秀”还有“鲁·格兰特”、“艾利斯”和“五点差九分”一类的“雇员”戏剧。 贫民喜欢电视广告，有时他们的谈话中充斥着广告用语：“我真不敢相信我居然全吃光了”，“决不会出门忘记了带着它们”，或者“怎样拼写'轻松'？”尽管生活在“看不见的底层”的人们也喜欢看电视，但观看什么节目则要由狱警或老人院的护士和勤杂工们说了算。在监狱中任何描绘性感女郎或能让人想入非非的画面都会大受欢迎。一位从前蹲过监狱的家伙对斯塔兹·塔克尔说，“你一整天都座在屋里看电视，不用说，《约会游戏》棒极了，因为故事和女人有关。” 【厨房和卫生间 谈论起居室及其最具有功能的家什一一电视就到此告一段落吧。尽管起居室最能体现阶级地位，但是还有两个房间不容忽视：厨房和洗手间。上层人士的厨房是专供佣人们出入的，所以很容易辨认：破旧、不方便、过时。木器很多，根本没有弗米卡贴面板，一些附助设备和节省劳力的用具，像洗碗机和垃圾处理装置，几乎都没有。有安安静静的佣人替你做好一切，为什么还要忍受那些嘈杂的劳什子呢？上层人士的厨房里的确有冰箱，但式样古老，四角还是圆的，顶部有一个很大的白色电阻。而你一走进中产阶级的厨房，整洁干净现代化的景象就展现在眼前了。不过厨房越像个实验室，你的社会地位就越低，电炉就不如煤气炉有档次。这里和别处一样，现代化和高效率的物品充分体现了阶级地位低的阶层的偏好。“备有微波炉、土司炉和电咖啡炉”的新型厨房，一如电视机，对一个人的社会地位而言会带来致命的降级，因为电视的控制板似乎一直在提醒你记住荒废在技术学院里的青春年华。 上层社会的洗手间与其厨房差不多，都很落后。装在木座上的暗色马桶座圈是很能说明阶级地位的，没有淋浴设备也能起到同样的作用，因为后者暗示了与英国传统的关系而越发有价值（英国人传统上热爱盆浴而非淋浴。一译者注）。上层人士洗手间里无一例外地会找到两样东西：梅森·皮尔逊发刷和肯特郡木梳。它们是值得信赖的社会地位象征，正如芳香味手纸和粉红色的约翰尼地毯是中产阶级的象征一样。 至于上层贫民的浴室，则表现了激烈交锋的两种相互矛盾的冲动。一种是对医院般清洁的渴望，比如喷洒大量来苏水或松香味消毒剂；另一种倾向与之相反，竭力表现繁琐奢华，比如马桶座圈上罩着皮革外套，毛巾很难用，因为是用涤沦和三分之一的“金”丝线混合织成的。贫民的洗手间是表达“如果有了钱怎么花”这一幻想的典型地方。这是一家人向往美好事物的陈列室：镀铬的盘于、花哨的饰边，杂志架，小器具，架子，瓶子和罐子，乳霜。滑润剂和护肤液，甚至可插花茎的盛水器和电动牙刷都会在里边出现。为了把上层贫民的洗手间打扮得漂漂亮亮，伍尔沃斯百货商店出售整套的色彩柔和的化纤小盖毯，一块罩在马桶盖上，一块铺在马桶座圈上，一块围在马桶四周的地板上，另有一块罩在冲水箱上，以防万一有谁一时冲动想坐上去。对上层贫民来说，洗手间可是个严肃的地方。你不大可能看到印着幽默淫秽小诗的手纸，或者美元图案的印刷物，抽水马桶里冲出的水很可能是鲜艳的兰色或绿色，说明了女主人机敏而务实的品质，能对广告商的苦心迅速作出反应。 【宠物 就室内环境来说，无论是上层人士还是贫民，宠物都是必不可少的。它们同样释放出等级信号。先谈谈狗，它们越是与没有实用性的打猎有关（还是和英国的生活方式相连），越上档次。因而上等人饲养的多是拉布拉多狗，金色取猎物狗，威尔士科吉斯狗，查理王斯潘尼尔狗和阿富汉猎犬。想做上等人就得多养几条这样的狗，还应当依照昂贵的白兰地或威士忌酒来给它们起名。中产阶级喜爱苏格兰或爱尔兰猎犬，所以就给它们取苏格兰或爱尔兰名字，其中最常见的名字是“sean”(爱尔兰最常见的男人名字。－译者注），为了好让别人读对发音时常拼为“Shawn”。贫民阶层偏好能和“保护”这个概念相关的品种，如道伯曼狗，德国牧羊犬或斗牛狗。再不就是可用作户外搜寻的狗，如猎兔狗。对狗来说，越瘦越能体现社会地位。吉利·库柏曾说，“上层人士的狗一天只喂一次，因而和它们的主人一样苗条。”有身份的人经常夸耀某些品种的狗，仅仅因为地位低于他们的人买不起这些品种，因而他们便一股劲儿地饲养罗德威尔牧羊犬，或者德国魏玛狗。狗自古至今倍受青睐，不仅由于它们品种繁多，多养几条能表明主人属于田产丰厚的绅士阶层，而且还由于让·雅克·卢梭两百多年前指出的另一原因。当时他正在和詹姆士·鲍斯威尔谈论宠物：。 卢梭：“你喜欢猫吗？” 鲍斯威尔：“不喜欢。” 卢梭：“我就知道是这样。这是我的一项个性测验，说明你有人类专横的本能。” 这些人不喜欢猫是因为猫大自由，不愿俯首为奴。与狗之外的其它动物一样，它不愿意听命于你，这说明上层人士喜爱他们可以任意支使的宠物，就像他们乖巧的园丁和律师一样，稍有不满则驱使颇多。“坐下！这回乖多了。” 比起猫来，狗更加眼疾腿快，善于察言观色，因而成为吸引购买者和展示主人社会地位的工具。范勃伦还注意到：“猫的声誉不大好，因为它花费大小，甚至还有实用价值，”比如捕捉老鼠之类的事。上层人士的猫的地位至多相当于鬃毛小狗，必须来自遥遥千里之外的异域，才能表明身价不菲，比如缅甸和希玛拉雅山区。如果是中上层人士，他们会直接用“猫”来叫它们；中产阶级喜爱暹罗猫；贫民喜欢里弄小猫，还喜欢把它们称作“咪咪”。养在笼中的小乌是典型的中产阶级作法。在玻璃缸中养金鱼是上层贫民的喜好，而且水下的布景越是精巧别致——如沉入水底的西班牙大帆船，传说中的美人鱼，以及河蚌，此公身上透出的贫民气息就越浓郁。