Chapter 37 Part III.2.1

1 If Wu Wei didn't look back that day, wouldn't there be that big drama in the second half of his life?Then she might have escaped that catastrophe, and the rest of her life would be different. It's a pity that such an "if" does not exist, and Hu Bingchen must draw the full stop for her. 2 It was not until the autumn of the following year that Hu Bingchen and Wu Wei joined forces.Whenever he thinks of this day, Wu Wei still thinks of the old fairy tale "Red Riding Hood". If Wu Wei knew that bad luck had already stepped on her heels, would she still be able to head to head against a rising sun in autumn like this, with her hands behind her back for a getaway?Can you still be so focused, trying to understand why the wind in the mountains and forests still has greenery left since autumn has come? ……Who is that?Enjoying oneself, looking up to the sky, walking towards the mountain, as if rushing back to one's own home, rather than carrying out heavy labor.

There is an unusual sense of movement in the steps, and the way he walks is very similar to him, with his hands behind his back, and his steps are light and quick.How can a woman walk with her hands behind her back!How can a woman walk as lightly as a man!Hu Bingchen unknowingly quickened his pace, and when he got closer, he realized that the woman walking in front was the notorious Wu Wei who was leisurely and leisurely alone in the snowy world. By this time, Hu Bingchen knew quite a lot about Wu Wei, but the experience of that snowy day still emerged first in his memory. Before this, Hu Bingchen had no contact with Wu Wei.

At that time, he had not yet been "liberated" politically. He was undergoing labor reform under the supervision of the rebels every day, and he was very sick. Don't let yourself fall in front of the "revolutionaries".While raising his hand to wipe his sweat, he saw Wu Wei sitting on a stone beside the road, frowning, and looking at him pensively.When his eyes met hers, she quickly looked away, as if worried about what Hu Bingchen read in her eyes, such as how embarrassed he looked, and knew that he didn't want people to see him that way. After political "liberation" and gradually recovering everything lost in the "Cultural Revolution", Yu's subordinates often came to him to report to Wu Wei.有关她放荡不羁的淫秽传闻遍及干校，人们总是用非常猥亵的言词说到她，说到有个男人当街把她揍了一顿，只因她不愿同他恋爱，可是不久之后，又听说What did she do with the man who beat her under the mosquito net.Once a woman reaches the point where anyone can beat her up casually, she might even be worse than a dog.

Some people also said that Wu went on strike during the busy farming season and refused to weld the share for agricultural machinery, because the person who asked to weld the share called her Xiao Wu. "How many times have I said that my name is Wu Wei, not Xiao Wu. If anyone calls me Xiao Wu, don't blame me for not working," she said. "What does it matter if you are called Xiao Wu?" the man said. "I'm obviously thirty, why do I still pretend to be tender?" Wu Wei's class monitor lives next door to Hu Bingchen, and team activities are often held in the monitor's dormitory.

Every morning or afternoon when studying politics, she would move a small bench and sit outside the monitor’s dormitory, with Mao Zedong’s Selected Works spread out on her knees, staring at the sunrise or the distant mountains in a daze, not reading carefully, even in the cold winter. So, the nose is red with cold. She usually walks alone, unlike other women who always like groups of three or five.Did they really love each other that much? Maybe she misbehaved and people looked down on her company, or more likely she didn't want to be around people.Seeing her studying "Selected Works of Mao" like this every day, Hu Bingchen neither criticized her nor told her class monitor, nor could he explain why he took such an indifferent attitude.Sometimes I even walked out of the room for no reason, as if I had something to do, but I just took an excuse to look at Wu Wei who was studying "Selected Works of Mao".As soon as he walked out of the room one morning, the dog from the cafeteria came to make out with him.He bent down to pat the dog's head, and Wu Wei, who was sitting outside studying "Selected Works of Mao", reminded him coldly, "Be careful, it just ate shit."

He couldn't help but want to silence him, and knowing that Wu Wei understood his humor, he replied, "No wonder it's so happy." She really smiled, with the corners of her lips curled up reservedly.He noticed two small dimples under the corners of her mouth.Think, other people's dimples are on the cheeks, but her dimples are under the corner of the mouth. When the weather is sunny and warm, their class activities are moved outside, and everyone sits on a pile of logs to study politics or hold class meetings.Wu Wei always sat on the tallest log without saying a word. Once there was an appraisal meeting, the squad leader read everyone’s appraisal one by one, and Wu Wei’s appraisal was really terrible: “Political study is not serious, the relationship with the masses is not good, the life is special, and the performance of labor is squeamish. If there is no foot protection, the electric welding work will be stopped, and it will still need to be strengthened in the future..."

That was the critical moment for ending labor reform and returning to Beijing ahead of schedule. Such an appraisal completely destroyed Wu Wei's hope of returning to Beijing.But the melting temperature of the welding rod is above 1,000 degrees, and the welding slag dropped during electric welding is hundreds of degrees if it is not 1,000 degrees.Even in factories, labor protection footwear must be issued to workers of this type of work. No wonder Wu Wei always had pieces of gauze or adhesive plaster on his insteps, probably from burns. Even if this woman is unrestrained and steals someone to raise an illegitimate child, there is nothing wrong with asking for labor protection supplies.

Wu didn't explain why, took the identification form, and slowly tore up the piece of paper in front of the people in the class who were appraising her.First tear it into strips, and then tear the strips into pieces. With a slap, the small pieces of paper will be scattered with the wind.Hu Bingchen could see clearly from the window.The whole class was filled with righteous indignation, and the squad leader was so angry that his face was red and his neck was thick. The cadres below quickly reported the situation to Hu Bingchen, but he didn't say anything, and the comrades below couldn't take any action.

Wu Wei can't go back to Beijing anyway, isn't that enough? This woman is walking ahead of him now. Looking at it with a cold eye, Wu Wei is definitely not far-reaching and elegant, but just a fading sentiment.After a long time, you will discover the kind of color or thoughts that are profound and profound, infiltrated and dyed on her background color, the depth of the pen is not flexible, and heavy makeup and light application are always inappropriate. She is always the target of public criticism, no matter how she disguises, she must be different.Even in a blue cloth shirt that has been mended again and again, it is difficult to hide the bookish air and arrogance, so it does not look like a transformation target!In addition, this woman has a smell of Chinese medicine.In the future, when they have a chance to have a skin-to-skin date, Wu Wei's pillow will always smell of Chinese medicine.Devendara Sean, a professor of psychology at Texas State University in the United States, discovered at the end of the 20th century that men have a very keen sense of smell when choosing which women to flirt with. Just by smelling it, they can tell whether the woman is in a reproductive cycle The highest peak, and that women in this period are more attractive.

And Hu Bingchen is much ahead of Sean; like the hero in the movie "Scent of a Woman", he can not only smell whether a woman is at the peak of her reproductive cycle, but also smell the texture of various women.He believes that every woman has a unique smell, not necessarily pleasant, some even very fishy, ​​but sexy, just like the female model worker surnamed Zhao in Wu Wei's team, who seems to be always at the peak of her reproductive cycle. If there were no earth-shaking changes in China, Hu Bingchen might be like his ancestors, suave and suave, sitting in the city of women, such as the painting of a lady blowing a flute by Tang Yin in the Ming Dynasty (not a painting called Chen Yifei at the end of the 20th century That picture), and now, he can only be interested in any woman who smells of Chinese medicine and has a faded tone.

But who can say that Wu Wei's notorious reputation is not more attractive to Hu Bingchen?Don't think that Hu Bingchen is "Song-Ming Confucianism" from inside to outside. For example, at this moment, he secretly cried out in his heart: Wu Wei, Wu Wei, why don't you turn around? Not only did Wu Wei be expelled from life, but "revolution" also expelled her. The "revolutionary" factions started fighting with each other. You are a counter-revolutionary, he is a traitor, and there will be no good person in the world immediately.Wu Wei couldn't bear to see it, and said, "Are there so many bad guys? The cadres can't all be defeated." A man who was about to be branded as a filial son and grandson of the reactionary class shot her, "Our policy level is not high, but I was born by my mother in ten months of pregnancy." This is of course an allusion to Wu Wei's illegitimate child. Not only Wu Wei was tongue-tied, but everyone in the audience fell silent.Fortunately, he drew people's attention to Wu Wei, otherwise this former KMT member of the Three Youth League would face the strangling of the "revolutionaries" immediately. How could Wu Wei make irresponsible remarks about the "revolution" beyond his control?If this is not self-inflicted humiliation, what is it! Don't think that people have given her a chance to live, and forget that she cannot be equal to others. After that, she no longer participated in the "revolution", but stood aside and watched others "revolution" or "revolution", and became happy instead. As long as he is not with other people, Wu Wei feels at ease, and even becomes smart, so when the big group sets off, he can always find a reason to fall behind.Revolutionary leaders have criticized her more than once, but she is still shameless and continues to fall behind.As she was walking, she heard someone calling her from behind.Looking back, there was no one there, only the "liberated" deputy minister Hu Bingchen was walking behind.Is he calling her?Of course not, it is estimated that he would not know the name of a small employee like her. She turned her head and continued on, regretting that she couldn't walk on this road alone. But Wu Wei was doomed. Hu Bingchen quickly caught up with Wu Wei at the speed at which he sent information to the Dabie Mountains, and nodded to her. Very courteous corporal, Wu Wei thought.He just nodded in answer, and then continued on his way without a word. At this time, Wu Wei never imagined that he would have anything to do with this short man with a "Song-Ming Confucianism" face in the future.And even more uncomfortable thinking, now not only can't walk this road alone, but also have to walk side by side with this man. Although Wu Wei glanced back at him, it was a very casual glance, but the narrowed eyes under the straw hat continued to scan the surroundings indifferently. This woman doesn't seem to be good with people.Even if you walk, talk, sit, and live with people, you just squint your eyes inadvertently, and you must live in this inadvertently.This way of living naturally has various irregularities. How to talk to women is hard for Hu Bingchen.Looking at Wu Wei's face, which is not a sinking fish or a wild goose, it is expected that he can't start with topics that ordinary women are interested in, so he went deep into the grassroots: "I heard from comrades that you were the first to discover that counter-revolutionary who committed suicide?" If Hu Bingchen is like some men today, he can only learn from the flirting crash books on the street stalls and start his offense, "What brand of perfume do you use?" will definitely make Wu Wei snort—"How many perfumes do you know? ? Do you know which perfume is used for which. Occasion? Which kind of woman will choose which perfume?..." Fortunately, he was asking about counter-revolutionary suicide, so the conversation could not be left halfway. Wu Wei twisted his neck, and said in a strange way: "It may not only reflect that I found someone committing suicide... Not long ago, he was still in the fifth category of red, and he was a model of "Mao Zhuo". How did he become a counter-revolutionary in a blink of an eye?" ...This is the 'Cultural Revolution'." She corrected: "It should be the 'Cultural Revolution'..." After thinking for a while, she continued, "Didn't Chairman Mao say, 'Be careful of He who is sleeping next to you? "Khrushchev"? Very wise. The question is who sleeps next to us. For people like us, it doesn't matter who sleeps next to us. If a "Khrushchev" sleeps next to Chairman Mao, we will be in big trouble." Don't take Wu Wei's venting as an understanding of politics. She just likes to do the opposite of "serious" things and use "serious" words in reverse. Lucky hit. Finally, she asked seriously: "Do you really think he is a counter-revolutionary?" Hu Bingchen was startled.He was just looking for a topic, and he thought that she would say "this is self-destruction from the people" like everyone else It's over, I didn't expect it to be a posture of refusing to let go, and shocking the world, hiding murderous intentions.This startled Hu Bingchen, who had just gained political freedom, but it also coincided with many of his thoughts.And she said "you".Hu Bingchen has not heard of "you" for many years, and "you" is not used in the revolutionary ranks. Hu Bingchen is repressed, he can't tell the truth in the office, and he can't speak casually at home. Talking to Bai Fan is like speaking at a party group meeting. Once talked with Bai Fan about the problems at the Lushan Conference, she actually advised: "Comrade, I think your current thinking is very dangerous. Maybe your work has been effective after liberation; gradually you have grown complacent?" Zhou Zheng. Not only has his work been effective after liberation, but did his work before liberation not be effective?But Hu Bingchen couldn't say that to Bai Fan. In this case, the future can only be left to Wu Wei. Many years later, Wu Wei said to him: "No matter how you say it, you are still the best in your class." Hu Bingchen was finally able to "chuck" out of his nose whatever he wanted, and said arrogantly: "It's not just my class?" But he had already forgotten at that time, from the cautious words and deeds with Bai Fan to the free speech with Wu Wei. The sea has changed. When Bai Fan became more and more "editorialized" and became more and more like his party group leader, even if he slept until midnight, a certain part of his body became restless, and he reached out to touch Bai Fan to solve the problem, and stopped communicating with Bai Fan. Just muffled drills.How many times did Bai Fan feel unsatisfied, and asked him hoarsely to "hold it up, hold it up!" He could have risked his life like they did in the early days of their cohabitation, seeking the comfort of life and death together, but now, Bai Fan made him "hold it up!" Stop", the more he got to the point, he let go of the gate, as if deliberately flashing her, and secretly smiled at Bai Fan in his heart: Who dares to tease the editorial, how dare he mess with the editorial?Didn't they say "one sentence is worth ten thousand sentences"?You can always find a solution to "resist" in those ten thousand sentences. In fact, as long as Bai Fan speaks his own words instead of those in the editorial, Hu Bingchen can do it with great fanfare. But Bai Fan didn't like it, once he got away from under him, he turned his face and said to him: "Hurry up and take a break, you have to work tomorrow." It seemed that he just lost his composure and yelled, telling him to "hold it up, hold it up It wasn't her who "stayed", but the leader of the party team temporarily took off his pants. And once he gets out of bed, Hu Bingchen is naturally no longer Bai Fan's husband, but her minister. Even if Hu Bingchen was in a good mood one day and made a joke with Bai Fan, she would explain it beyond recognition; in this way, staying in the office to work after work is not just "serving the people wholeheartedly". After Hu Bingchen was reinstated, a government delegation from an Eastern European country visited China in 1975, and a reception banquet was held in the banquet hall of the Great Hall of the People.Hu Bingchen sat at the head of the third table, and there were several ministerial-level officials at the same table, including Jiang Qing's boyfriend.The other party is the director of the planning committee, leading three bureau-level cadres.The country is a revisionist country appointed by Mao Zedong, and there has been no contact for a long time, and neither side knows what to say.Although the "Cultural Revolution" In the later period, Hu Bingchen was inconvenient to say anything, he was very embarrassed, so he had no choice but to find something to say. A female guest on the other side pointed to the flowers on the table and asked: "What kind of flower is this?" Hu Bingchen said: "Fake flower." He obediently took a few flowers and placed them in front of her.In terms of dealing with women, there is no more decent man than Hu Bingchen. Another guest asked Jiang Qing's boyfriend: "How long is your compulsory education in China?" The boyfriend replied: "We learn while practicing." The guests were stunned. When Hu Bingchen saw that he was going to cause trouble, he said to his boyfriend: "What people asked is how many years our compulsory education is. If you know, tell him." Several other ministerial-level cadres wanted to laugh but didn't dare to laugh, so they had to be vague. He later said to Bai Fan: "If a person can't find a place to tell the truth anywhere, he must go crazy." Not long ago, Bai Fan came to the cadre school to visit relatives.Seeing that it was the late stage of the "Cultural Revolution", Hu Bingchen had already come to his senses, thinking that the fate of the entire party and the people depended on one person. If there was a problem with this person's health or guiding ideology, the consequences would be dire. There was also the problem of the standard bearer. Then he said to Bai Fan, "I'm afraid this problem will not be resolved until after Mao." Bai Fan said: "You actually said such a thing, your thinking is too problematic!" Then he remained silent, thinking whether he should report Hu Bingchen's thoughts to the organization, so as to save Hu Bingchen at once.Hu Bingchen knew exactly what Bai Fan was thinking, no matter the relationship between work or husband and wife, they hadn't stayed together day and night for decades.How is this woman who has lived together for decades similar to him? If it wasn't for Hu Bingchen's continuous coaxing and deception, he would have caused a catastrophe. In fact, Hu Bingchen overestimated himself, the difference between him and Bai Fan is only superficial, the closer to the bottom line, the smaller the gap between them.During the critical period of establishing their outlook on life, they drank the same sip of water and ate the same kind of food.However, it seems that the same saliva and the same kind of food are not comprehensive, and there is also a problem of absorption. Besides, everyone's absorption capacity may not be the same.In the final analysis, Hu Bingchen is still a person who "does not forget the morning market". This may be related to the nutrition he absorbs, or it may be his nature. But now this Wu Wei is too brazen, how can he casually say such things to a person who doesn't know the details?If you make a fuss, you may lose your head.She was really flirtatious. Hu Bingchen put away his frivolity and was careful not to be caught by Wu Wei for any political tricks, but he forgot to guard against falling into other traps.If Hu Bingchen remained calm in the past, he might discover Wu Wei's unwillingness to play casually and his disposition from these details. It is better to withdraw troops as soon as possible, and then his future life will be safe and sound. But he underestimated Wu Wei's paranoia, but he still had more fun. On the way to the fields to cut rice, they sang in harmony all the way. 3 Since they arrived at the labor site together, they naturally fell into the same field to work. Cut the last rice of autumn. Wu Wei stretched his legs, and Baxing Rice straddled her crotch.After all, Hu Bingchen was old and didn't have much experience in manual labor, so it was very difficult for him to cross the six lines.On the other side was the woman surnamed Zhao, a well-known female model worker in the cadre school. Naturally, she also spanned eight lines, and caught him in the middle. As soon as the scythe was opened, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, Wu Wei hugged the six elements under his crotch and turned them into five elements. The female model worker also embraced one line, leaving him with four lines. Although there are only four rows of rice left, you still have to work hard, watching Wu Wei's heels and rushing forward. Wu Wei's waist is too thin, his ankles are also thin, and he is tall, so he doesn't have an advantage in height. At least he is much more curved than female model workers. Such a body shape is only suitable for competitive events.But she wasn't far behind, and she was fighting secretly, as if she wanted to do something to embarrass him, the principal of the cadre school who awarded certificates of commendation at various meetings, and the female model worker who was awarded by him. Female model workers are indeed role models for all parties, and have been selected as outstanding individuals with various names. They often give lectures at various conferences, exposing and criticizing counter-revolutionaries in various periods.Hu Bingchen has a lot of experience in this area, and it is inevitable for people to think about the person who can come out on top at any time.However, he applauded such people at various conferences as usual, and read the speeches that commended these people.A leech climbed onto Wu Wei's leg, and another one.Leeches don't eat him, and they don't eat female model workers, but Wu Wei.Soon, the two leeches changed from a hungry "poor and lower-middle peasant" to a "landlord" who was happy. Didn't Wu Wei feel that there were leeches sucking blood on his legs?But she just wouldn't stop to knock the leeches off her legs.She couldn't stop, the gap between her and the female model worker was only two or three rows, and finally reached the ground half a minute ahead of her. Then he straightened up and patted the leeches on his legs.With two taps, the leeches would lazily fall to the ground. They were too full to eat.Blood flowed from the mouth and eyes bitten by the leech, and drew crooked red lines on Wu Wei's muddy legs. During the work break, the female model worker is like rain that can be poured on every man's head, let that man sharpen his sickle, and lightly punch this man on the shoulder.With that skillful push, fuck, and lean, which man doesn't have his bones cracked?Who can say that those advanced lists have nothing to do with this? Women are really blessed. Even in the Yan'an period, women "do more with less money" than men. I don't know what "feminism" they are not satisfied with.But men, should we make some "masculine chauvinism"? People are not on guard against this kind of woman, not only are they not on guard, they also feel safe and secure.But try to talk to Wu Wei in the room, and make sure someone is poking around outside the window. Suddenly the female model worker shouted: "Hey, comrades, how about singing a song?" "Okay, you take the lead." So the female model worker took the lead, "Get up, hungry and cold slaves..." Sing this song on this occasion?But Hu Bingchen still sang along with everyone.Wu Wei didn't sing, raised his head and squinted his eyes to look at the sky and the clouds. The sun was shining brightly, but suddenly it was overcast.When the rice harvesting started again, Wu Wei said to Hu Bingchen: "Every note of yours is inaccurate, either it is raised by half a note, or it is lowered by half a note." "That said, it's still half right, it should be given 60 points. Once he talks to Wu Wei, Hu Bingchen can't help being humorous. "No, it can only be zero. You probably don't know that you are tone-deaf, right?" On the way back, Hu Bingchen became sober and deliberately did not go with Wu Wei.He can't afford to arouse the "views" of the masses because of the smell of traditional Chinese medicine, that little bit of political expediency, and that "you". After harvesting the rice, Wu Wei discovered that the old man had met Hu Bingchen face to face.If it is not surprising that Hu Bingchen next door came to make trouble when she was reading "Selected Works of Mao" outdoors, then the fact that he followed behind him like a shadow all the time and silently made her feel a little bit fear. The scariest time was when she wandered alone on the road leading to the town at night, when a good wooden stick suddenly stood up on the road under the light of day, it turned out to be a snake!She jumped back in fright. Although startled, it was not enough to scream.But this jump just happened to jump on a soft object behind, which was more terrifying than that snake, which made Wu Wei scream. Looking back, it was Hu Bingchen. It turned out that after she jumped, she bumped into Hu Bingchen. Hu Bingchen said, "I'm sorry." How come it's so close! He's been stalking her, or was it by accident? Even Hu Bingchen realized that there were too many opportunities for them to meet.On rest days, Hu Bingchen often walked up and down the mountains, thinking it was a good rest.Last day of rest, I went to a river far away, and heard someone crying very sadly from afar.Could it be someone from the cadre school?Will this person commit suicide?So he followed the sound, and when he got closer, he realized that it was singing. It was really a long song that made me cry. So he stopped under a pear tree not far from the river beach, and somehow knew that the singer lying under the pear tree must be Wu Wei. He couldn't help but tremble, did she have any troubles?How could such a woman suffer? Riverside, pear trees, singing, lonely man, widowed woman... It's really not a good scene, so turn around and walk back.The late autumn sun made his back so warm and warm, but Wu Wei's singing was cloudy and cold. What kind of song was that?Of course it is not a quotation song, nor is it like a Chinese song. On that day, Hu Bingchen's ears kept ringing with the mournful singing.What kind of woman is this?Usually seeing her walking, her face almost turned up to the sky.No wonder people want to punish her. If not punished, I don't know what will happen, but she hides so far away by the river to sing.Hu Bingchen was looking forward to the political study in the morning or afternoon; he was looking forward to Wu Wei who was sitting outside, holding a copy of "Selected Works of Mao" and staring at the distant mountains in a daze.Sometimes he even used a few lines of copied poems to argue: "Do you think this is a poem written by Chen Yi?" Hu Bingchen really put his heart into it, the font is neat and neat which is rare for him.Wu Wei thought over and over again the poems that Hu Bingchen copied on the paper—— Twenty years of right and wrong, how much safety is tied to one body? The great songs go back to the sky and the sea, and the crows make noise in the setting sun.In the twenty years of the Southern Kingdom, one end must hang to the gate of the country.After the death, all the kings worked hard, and the good news flew in as paper money. Hu Bingchen looked at Wu Wei who was reading poetry with his head down.Her hair was thick and the middle part was so white it made his heart beat. Wu Wei immediately drew a stroke on "One head must be hung to the gate of the country", which obviously meant appreciation; he also drew a circle on the word "One" which said "How safe is the whole body", and said earnestly: "Repeat with words." ...It's like his character. But can he write poetry? Hu Bingchen did not continue to ask whether the poem was written by Chen Yi, but said slowly: "Someone asked Cao Yu why he didn't write anything, and Cao Yu said: 'What to write?'..."Wang Zhaojun" failed, it was ordered, the proposition Composition is always difficult to write... He should have the courage to write something. During the Anti-Japanese War, he wrote a very good script. It was about a Kuomintang hospital for wounded soldiers. It was completely corrupt from the director down. There was a female doctor He is a positive person. Commissioner Ma came and rectified it vigorously. He dismissed the director, and the hospital took on a new look. It was very popular with the audience for exposing the corruption of the Kuomintang. This drama was still staged during the Liberation War, but it was said to be It's "painting for the Kuomintang" and disappeared from Cao Yu's works. If you don't talk about the background of these times, you just talk about the drama. It's really a good script. The troupe that performed at that time was also the Progressive Troupe. It's a pity for Cao Yu, his talent can't be fully utilized. He should have courage, why not? As long as it's not outrageous, it's fine! I always think that the ending of the three veterans throwing paper money in Lao She is "Cao Yu style". The ending of the novel may have been Cao Yu's idea to Lao She, or at least was influenced by Cao Yu. I really hope that He Yu will leave a few more classic scripts to China. Wu Wei said: "What do you mean by 'not outrageous'? Can you still write your so-called classic scripts if you are not outrageous?" A gesture that has nothing to do with Hu Bingchen. Seeing that the words were not speculative, Hu Bingchen adjusted the topic in time: "When I was a child, I read Bing Xin's article, maybe it was "Send to Young Readers". I always remembered the little girl riding a white horse by the sea. This image seemed to be frozen in my mind. I read it again in my teens about how a kid broke his leg trying to save a younger kid from under a wagon, and how his classmates helped him get to school...I always thought, sometime I could Sacrifice yourself to save a younger child..." Wu Wei stopped talking strangely and began to listen carefully to what he had to say. In the future, with the deepening of their relationship, Hu Bingchen will continue to discover that some of his tastes are so similar to those of his—but they are just similar. Hu Bingchen couldn't pause. Once he paused, it would be difficult to continue the conversation, and it would be difficult to preserve the quality of the conversation.He couldn't repeat this opportunity to approach her again and again, Wu Wei didn't find it strange to call it a hell.And it's a fitting occasion for much contention.In the public, Wu Wei still had a copy of "Selected Works of Mao" spread out on his knees, and no one would think otherwise, so he talked calmly: "Just talk about Lin Daiyu, why can't there be Lin Daiyu? And there would be nothing without Lin Daiwu, why use a large trowel to smooth everything out? Even the chairman has affirmed it! Don’t make every work stereotyped, otherwise it won’t be rich and colorful. Peking opera must have various genres, big names Dan has four, Xiaoming Dan has four more... "Dickens' stale class views and happy endings are annoying, but the writing is beautiful. The English textbook I read in my first year of college is the original version." Wu Wei, who was planning to listen carefully just now, speaks like the sunrise in the east Xi Bianyu began to look at Hu Bingchen suspiciously again.What is he talking about?There is a hammer in the east and a stick in the west, like a grocery store, I don't know what kind of business it specializes in.Are you a little eager to express yourself?And why express yourself? "Do you think Dickens should learn Marx's class viewpoint first?" She patted "Selected Works of Mao" on her lap and said. Wu Wei's trickery has already been seen at this time. If Hu Bingchen had realized it earlier, he would not regret it in the future and shouted: "You tricky woman!" Interesting, the grown-up continued to say: "... I think of Oxford, full of ancient flavor, and the small street where Shakespeare lived." Then he turned and went back to the next room, leaving Wu In order to continue to stare at the distant mountains in a daze, he was puzzled: Why did Hu Bingchen break his usual reserve today and talk so much? Back in the house, Hu Bingchen was furious with himself. It's not that Wu Wei doesn't understand what message Hu Bingchen's gestures are conveying.How could a person like her, who has read "Snow White" and various Western literature since she was a child, not understand the codes between men and women? She was just afraid of men, not only afraid of falling in love with any man, but even more afraid of talking about marriage with any man. It's not that no man is interested in Wu Wei, but she can't convince her that it's true love.In fact, it is not complicated to verify, as long as they don't let them cut into the topic, they will immediately talk about her previous convictions. Those men were just playing with her! A woman like her with a previous criminal record, what kind of true feelings do she expect from a man! It's a pity that the aboveboard "play around" not only went underground after 1949, but at least until the 1970s, it could only lurk in some old and cunning men, and it was even more impossible for women to take this train . If the conditions were as relaxed as they were at the end of the twentieth century, why couldn't Wu play with them? But she was never someone who played around casually, who would have an illegitimate child out of those casual people! Don't forget that Wu Wei is Gu Qiushui's daughter after all, and don't forget how easily Gu Qiushui gave his life to Bao Tianjian back then! On the contrary, Wu Wei is fine if he doesn't invest in it, and when he invests in it, he doesn't know how to advance or retreat, and he never returns.It was really a gamble where one's wealth and life were bet on, and one would not turn back until one had lost all one's losses, unlike some women who would leave once they found out that they hadn't made a profit.She has lost all her money, and she really can't blame others. Moreover, Wu Wei, who loves literature, has long shown a tendency to create. He not only likes to create stories, but also likes to create men. She always confuses men's occupations with themselves, and regards a man who can sing a few lines as a singer as music; a man who has written a few pens and even published a few books is called a writer , as literature.When I see someone who has something to do with writing, I think that I have encountered literature, so I rush forward enthusiastically, thinking that I am committed to literature, and "literature" accepts her willingly.When I read Chekhov's later, I had no choice but to smile. Therefore, she also regards the kind of people who have participated in the revolution and visited the revolutionary base areas as revolutionaries... Her later fascination with Hu Bingchen has a lot to do with Hu Bingchen's revolutionary experience.Don't you know that in most cases, being able to sing two songs and music is not the same thing at all.Similarly, someone who can write two or even publish many books is not the same thing as literature.Just like Wu Wei who can write two strokes and published several books, who can say for sure that she has something to do with literature?Wu Wei loves revolution, music, and literature. Looking at the men she chooses in her life, almost all of them are related to this kind of plot of loving the house and the black. "Shangshu Dazhuan" has "a lover who is also the bird in the house", but for her it is "a bird who loves the bird and the person under the house", or both.If there is more love for her, what should I do?Then her life was very, very lively and troublesome. Fortunately, when she loved painting, she was already at the end of the day. However, there are such hopeless women in every era. It wasn't until he risked the disobedience of the world that he gave birth to an illegitimate child for literature, and was wrathed by God and the people. Only then did he realize that the "similar sign" was not; and the "equal sign" was not to be taken lightly, and then he began to exile himself. And years of humiliation have also put on hard and cold armor for Wu Wei's sensitivity and tenderness. Can she not be so fragile and so hard? Besides, how could this man, who is profound and well-versed in the "Silent Smile" of Neo-Confucianism in Song and Ming Dynasties, have any unreasonable thoughts about her! 4 The "Cultural Revolution" was like a tornado in the shape of a bucket, engulfing many lives, and spinning away like a spinning top.If you only pay attention to its tapered long tail, it will leave an obscene and shameless aftertaste for the world. Wherever the wind passes by, there are mourners everywhere and thousands of trees withered. This is the intention of the tornado. A game of remnant chess has been played here, even if people are continuously transferred back to Beijing, some people are also assigned out one after another. Wu Wei is naturally a forgotten corner.She has long been used to forgetting, and feels that this position is good.There are fewer and fewer people in the cadre school, and people are no longer driven to work in the fields. So Wu Wei carried a machete on his back, like the one used by the so-called counter-revolutionaries to commit suicide, and climbed up the remote mountain alone, sometimes trapped in the blue clouds and dark mist, and sometimes listening to the cries of strange birds in the depths of the secluded forest.当地老乡说山中常有豺狼出没，她却从来没有遇到过，连蛇也没有看到过，也许蛇们只是绕在树上将她窥视，并不游下树来与她为难。她难免猜想，那夜在小镇路上遇到的蛇，是否有意帮胡秉宸一把？ 漫山都是毛竹，吴为却非要爬到山顶，砍一根七八十斤重的巨竹背下山来。这样一来，不是可以消磨一个整天？ 下得山来，将毛竹截锯为一米多的长段，用砍刀劈成细条，再用瓦片刮润，做了门帘送人。 或在成堆废弃不用的木头中，拣些硬木块到车间加工小玩意儿，台灯座或是小水桶，然后用水彩在上面随意乱画，再涂一层清漆。 哪一桩是女人玩的活儿！可是，车床、砍刀、锯子、锉子，她样样玩得得心应手。 除了机油味、破车床、东一堆西一堆成形不成形的加工件，车间里什么也没有，真让人不能相信这里曾是心术角斗的沸腾场地。 吴为游走在这些破东烂西中，不是开怀坏笑就是嗷嗷怪叫，偏偏不作哈姆雷特式的严肃思考，不知这是否为她日后成为作家的一个缘由？ 那天，又是如此这般在车间里翻江倒海，然后又上车床车一个螺钉，一手摇着进刀的手柄，一手拿着油壶往加工件上喷射冷却油降温，冷不丁听见背后有人说：“带水枪的女工。” 就像那个晚上在路上看到那一条蛇；猛然往后一跳，踩上一个软软的物件那样，又是一个惊恐。 回头一看，又是胡秉宸。 调过头来继续干活，心里一慌，进刀猛了，眼看螺纹车坏了，可她还是装模作样继续车下去。Wait.胡秉宸转身走开才停下床子，把那个废螺钉从夹具上取下，拿着那个废螺钉好一阵发呆。方才还能翻江倒海的吴为，转眼就变成一只瘪了的轮胎。 似乎有一只蚊子在很远处飞，越飞越近，到了近处才知道那不是蚊子振翅，而是一种不祥的声音。她伸出双手，妄图挡住那不祥之兆，可是它们比她的手臂有力，不容抗拒地向她渐渐逼近。 天色已暗，她拿起抹布擦了擦满是机油的手，出了车间。 有星星冷锋在她脸上交错相击，抬头一看，雪片如席。冬天已经过去，春天就要来临，可是这场春雪比冬雪还大，地上积雪足有一尺多厚。 树枝被积雪压得咔咔轻响，有些细枝还断裂下来。什么都听得清清楚楚，何止细枝的断裂声，连自己的呼吸也听得清清楚楚，心情也就好了起来。 积雪没过了吴为的脚踝，她一面数着自己的脚印一面前行，雪片边落边融，将她的头发湿贴在额上，凉丝丝地爽，毕竟是春雪了。可是，绝非一人独处的感觉向她袭来，转身缓缓四顾，天色苍暗，漠漠飞雪，如烟如梦，是焉非焉的一个胡秉宸，靠着一棵树站在雪地里。 难道在等她吗？帽子和身上的积雪，说明他已在雪地站了不少时间。 吴为脸上那点本就不多的笑意变成了严酷。 胡秉宸的确在等吴为。刚才到车间巡视，还没进门之前就想，要是能看见吴为就好了，一旦看到她，胡秉宸兴奋得简直有点莫名其妙，否则怎么会说出“带水枪的女工”那样明目张胆的调笑之词。 胡秉宸对吴为的调笑绝对始于性，哪个男人听了有关一个女人的那样传言，不往性上靠？可不知什么时候起，渐渐变成对她气质、素养、清雅外形的倾慕。多少次胡秉宸在车间外面窥视吴为，越来越发现她不像一个淫荡的女人，就连对“带水枪的女工”也挥然不觉。换了另一个女人，比如那位女劳模，就完全可以体味个中滋味。 这女人真是个谜，她到底聪明还是糊涂？单纯还是放荡？ ... 胡秉宸毕竟是胡秉宸，男人也毕竟是男人，将来他对吴为的兴趣还会回归为性，不过现在正缓慢地进入认识的第二阶段。 胡秉宸那个站立的姿态，让吴为的心隐隐一动，就像接上了阴阳两个电极。那不祥的声音又靠近了。 胡秉宸让她渐渐放松了对男人的戒备……原来她是怕自己对他好感有加。 望着吴为在雪中渐渐模糊的身影，胡秉宸相当失望。难道她没有看出他等在这里，只是为了再看她一眼，很有节制的一眼？只是为了再打个照面，说几句“多好的雪”之类不热不冷的话？ 似乎并不因为她是女人。仅仅想和她说几句不热不冷的话吗？ 实在又因为她是女人。 这个与已然中止咖日日生活似乎有着千丝万缕关联的女人哪！ 这让他想起旧时家园点着的一盏灯； 一幅有些破损却还挂在老地方的画； 一瓶被人忘记也就没有被喝掉，所以才会陈年的老酒； 一部不知遗忘在哪里，就再也找不到的书…… 他笑了笑，渺然而无稽。 可吴为一句话没说就过去了，生怕他会和她怎样似的。how? 就像中了邪，一个可怕的念头突然渗入胡秉宸的脑子，“早晚有一天，我非把这个女人搞到手不可！” What to do? which day? “早晚有一天，我非把这个女人搞到手不可！”好像一种赌气，一个较量。与什么较量2他也说不清楚，也许就是和吴为的较量。只有在这个较量中，才能充分挖掘显示他鲜为人知的魅力。他一直耿耿于怀的是，他那被革命生涯湮没的魅力，始终没有得见天日。与革命队伍里的女同志们是不需要这种较量的，如果他们觉得彼此需要，互相通知一下就行了。可是直觉告诉他，吴为，可能就是那个与他惺惺惜惺惺的人。 他放纵地想着…… 放纵一下又何妨？调令已经下来，他很快就要回到北京去，官复原职。干校也要解散，一旦离开干校，离开吴为，他又会像上了笼头的牲口，中规中矩地拉车去了。 让吴为开始对胡秉宸动心的是那一次。 叶莲子来信说禅月高烧，不过现在好了。但是，万一，禅月再有个急病…… 要是母亲这样说，那就是情况严重，她感到了孤独无助，希望吴为回去。 怪不得吴为梦见暴风雪、悬崖。不知怎么禅月就掉下了悬崖，她的两只小手紧紧抠着悬崖边上的石头，叫着：“妈妈——妈妈——” 吴为拼命往悬崖边上跑，两条腿却陷在深雪里，怎么拔也拔不出，急得声嘶力竭地大喊起来。 一下子把自己从梦中喊醒，醒来很久睡不着，听鼠们在天花板上赛马般地一阵又一阵隆隆跑过，想着母亲独自带着禅月在北京的艰辛日子。 可她怎能调回北京？想想她的那份鉴定，还有她对待鉴定的态度吧！ 像她这样的人，即便是有回北京的名额，也不会分配给她。每天每天，只能看着人们一个个兴高采烈乘车离去。 想到叶莲子的困难，真是忧心忡忡，从车间回宿舍的路上，迎面碰上胡秉宸，没头没脑地对她说了一句：“高兴起来，吴为同志。” 她没有回答也没有停下脚步，匆匆与他擦身而过。 山岚，暮鸦，破碎参差的田地，老树枝上挑着的残阳……一下混沌起来，一派天昏地暗的模样。难道眼睛里有了泪？ 多少年了，她的人格早在羞辱的研磨下一厘厘研磨为佝偻，有谁对她说过一句这样的话？ 她以为自己早已刀枪不入；却原来还是如此脆弱，却原来还是等着一个骑士向她走来并对她这样说，却原来还没死掉对一个骑士的企盼。 难道胡秉宸知道她的等待？他实在不年轻了，也不英俊高大。 当天晚上吴为做了一个梦，先是和胡秉宸打着伞在渐浙沥沥的雨中散步，接着又梦见胡秉宸参加一个什么晚宴回来，穿一身黑色细毛呢礼服，上衣纽扣敞开着，两只手插在裤袋里，走进她的房间，坐在她的床边。她对胡秉宸说：“讨厌，为什么这么晚才回来？”像一对老夫老妻。 完全是吴为的自作多情，“高兴起来，吴为同志”，不过是胡秉宸没话找话。 5 叶莲子真觉得自己老了，她的疲劳竟变成疼痛，像是躺在荆棘上，那些尖刺缓缓地、深深地刺进身体内部，极细致地布遍了全身。 公共汽车在她还剩两步就赶到的时候，却关上车门开走了。 谁知道下一班车什么时候才能来？ 由于体力不支，她的背越弯越厉害。可她不能放下禅月，禅月一直疼得紧，现在刚刚停止呕吐，刚刚在她背上睡去。禅月被邻居的儿子踢伤了。那男孩本是与妹妹打架，站在楼梯上，飞起一脚就冲妹妹踢去。禅月忙张开胳膊去保护他妹妹。十四五岁、“血气方生”的一脚，全部落实在禅月的胃部。禅月当时就疼得从楼梯上滚下，躺在地上起不来了。兄妹二人的父母，不但没有对禅月说一声谢谢，连过问一下禅月的伤势也没有，更不要说负担禅月的医药费；甚至对两兄妹说：“谁让你们和禅月玩儿的？咱们是什么人家，她们是什么人家？她们一家子都是下贱货，她妈还是破鞋。你们看看，这个院子里的孩子哪个和她玩儿？跟这种孩子在一起玩儿丢不丢人！”医生说是软组织受了损伤，除了开些止疼药别无他法。禅月还是疼得不行，叶莲子只好带她到远郊一家中医院去做按摩。 叶莲子难得出门，对本市地理环境所知甚少，又上了年纪，腿脚不便，禅月胃部又受了损伤，挤乘公交车的远郊之行，对这一老一少无异于艰难的远征。 途中须多次换乘，路面不好，车身摇晃，禅月本就胃疼，不断的摇晃使受伤的胃以及胃里的食物极为愤怒，便开始造反逆行，禅月却咬着牙不让它们得逞。叶莲子见禅月憋得满头冷汗，不忍地说：“你想吐就吐吧。” 小小的禅月却说：“那样就会把汽车弄脏，多不好。”直到下车，直到找到一处隐蔽的地方，才将胃里的食物一吐而尽。 中医按摩也不甚见效，禅月仍为剧痛所苦，白天夜晚无法入睡，叶莲子只好背着她在地上走溜儿。那天吃了大剂量的止疼药才睡着，楼上人家的孩子偏偏在屋子里跳皮筋。叶莲子上楼恳求他们安静一会儿，央告他们：“求求你们了，我们家禅月胃疼得不行，几天几夜也睡不成觉，现在刚刚睡着，请你们别在楼上跳皮筋了好吗？”那家孩子的父母，不但把叶莲子堵在门口，而且不等她把话说完，砰的一下就关上了门。接着叶莲子听到那孩子在门里编着歌谣边说边唱道：“就跳，就跳。——张爸爸，李爸爸，不知谁是禅月她爸爸……”这些话、这些事，叶莲子从不对吴为说，吴为为那个错误受到的惩罚还少吗？ 禅月蠕动了一下，可能睡得不舒服。叶莲子背上有太多的骨头却没多少力气，所以禅月就渐渐下滑。叶莲子屈了屈腿，把禅月往上颠了颠。 她的眼睛往上翻着，透过披到额上的白发，注视着来往的车辆，专心致志等待着下一趟公共汽车。果然就等来一辆，只隔了十分钟的时间，也许二十分钟？到底等了多长时间叶莲子也不知道。 为了给禅月看病，叶莲子毫不犹豫地把跟了她十几年的手表卖了，那是她最后一点值钱的东西，也曾是对她那个“优秀小学教师”的奖励。她不十分看重那荣誉，她看重的是一个从靠查字典起家r以教书煳口的小学教师，变成称职的优秀教师所付出的努力。正像她后来并不十分看重；吴为那个作家的头衔，而看重的是吴为从人下人，从人们的脚底下挣扎出来的努力一样。 那条旧俄国毯子也卖了。抗日战争时期，她用那条毯子包着吴为逃日本飞机，那时候也是这么穷，这么累。看来她这一生不会有另外一种生活了。都是命！ 6 轮到吴为无奈地找她的顶头上司胡秉宸谈谈回北京的问题时，胡秉宸却公事公办，一点不肯帮忙。用不着考虑，为吴为这样一个女人说话，等待他的会是什么舆论！ 谈话过程中，胡秉宸不但屡屡瞟着窗外，身子也尽量往屋角的阴影中缩，好像窗外有人监视视像吴为不是和他谈公事而是和他偷情。这一来，他那副“宋明理学”上得殿试的面孔，就像了后街引，车卖浆者流。 而且没等吴为把困难说完，他就打断说：“好吧，就谈到这儿吧。”生怕吴为求着他什么、影响他什么，又怕沾上点什么，好像她会散布病菌…… 吴为这时本该看出胡秉宸的问题，可她大事不抓，不去探究胡秉宸那副“宋明理学”面孔为什么转眼就成了引车卖浆者流，而是任性地耍小脾气，一气之下起身就走，还为胡秉宸的自私、虚伪，不像她想像中的那样完美而感到悲哀和惋惜，甚至为自己找胡秉宸解决困难懊悔不已，以为胡秉宸这样对待她，是由于对她的误解。 难道她是想利用胡秉宸对她的那点好感吗？ 与胡秉宸谈话之前，吴为曾再三审度，在得到肯定的否定之后．才肯去找领导胡秉宸反映问题。 不找眼下这个惟一的领导又能找谁？哪个人能做得了主！ 胡秉宸就要回北京去了。 总该对吴为说一声“再见”吧，可他思量再三，无从下手。不是苦于没有借口，而是苦于如何：将吴为吁请帮助时的胡秉宸，向道别的胡秉宸转换。 他每日守在窗前，每日看着吴为从门前小路走过，或从宿舍去车间，或从车间返回宿舍。如果没有这条吴为的必经之路，胡秉宸也许一走了之。谁让吴为每天必得经过他的眼前？许多大事有时正是由这样的小事促成的。 终有一天忍耐不住，见吴为走过，急忙奔出房门。好在阡陌交通，为了不让吴为看出他有意等待，绕了一个大圈，从对面迎着吴为走去。偶然遇到的样子，偶然提到的样子，说：“你好，吴为同志，过几天我就要走了。” 即便如此，胡秉宸还是不敢对吴为说一句：你有什么困难需要帮助吗？ 吴为翻了他一眼，“您当然应该回去。”没有一点惜别的意思。 “上午收拾行李，还看到你留下的墨宝呢。”他又何苦留下把柄，对她说，他一直珍藏着她画了一笔、圈了一个圈的那张纸？冰雪聪明的吴为，应该领会这就是有意留着的意思吧。 “什么？”她显然忘记了胡秉宸当初与她纠缠的借口。 “你忘了你在陈毅诗句上面的那一笔和那个圈儿？”吴为终于明白了胡秉宸的用意。可那时，她对胡秉宸忽而挑逗忽而委琐的虚伪还算清醒，什么也没说，冷然地咧咧嘴，头也不回地走了。当她晚上出去散步时，在离宿舍不远的地方，又碰到了胡秉宸。 没有前缀，胡秉宸张口就说：“我也想散散步，再看看这个待了几年的地方。你不反对和我一起走走吧……我想我选错了职业，我应当做一个相声演员……假如有人能写出这样一个让别人都快乐的形象，也是不错的……”算是对自己那些出尔反尔行为的辩解。 见胡秉宸这样讨好，吴为毕竟不忍，说：“那就当您的相声演员吧。”便不再做声。 他们无言地走下去，走了很久，越走越是惊心，越走越是于无声处听惊雷。 等到他们分手的时候，已是夜半时分。胡秉宸送吴为到宿舍门前，忍了许久最后还是把持不住，进出一句：“……郴江幸自绕郴山，为谁流下潇湘去？” 秦少游的这个句子和句子的背景也算生僻广胡秉宸只是不觉抒发，并没想得到吴为的回应。 一句秦少游，立刻缴了吴为的械。想不到这个“老共”居然知道秦少游，知道这样不常为人提起的句子！不似“剪不断，理还乱”、“一种相思，两处闲愁”、“今宵酒醒何处？杨柳岸晓风残月”、“十年生死两茫茫，不思量，自难忘”、“红酥手，黄滕酒，满园春色宫墙柳”之类动辄被人传诵的名句。 如果说胡秉宸以前对她妄谈曹禺、冰心、、林黛玉以附庸风雅，更还有对Dickens阶级观点的批判以装腔作势，那么说到诗词，说到秦少游，可就得有点真本事了。 作为胡秉宸的下属，吴为未必不知道他的才能，未必不知道他可能成为多种行业高手的潜质，但也不过敬佩而已。比如人造卫星可是了得，与她又有何干？敬佩与滋生感情的仰慕、崇拜等等，有着明显的差别。 只有到了秦少游这里，才让她真正刮目相看。从此这个矮小的男人，让她觉得像了教授，而不再像副部长，也就是说，像了自己的同类，从此对胡秉宸有了一种原则上的认同。 也就是说，吴为又重新陷入“爱屋及乌：”或“爱乌及屋”的泥潭。 好感也罢、爱情也罢，产生的就是这样没有道理，没有逻辑。但那时，吴为也还能对胡秉宸的把戏保持警觉，伶牙俐齿地回道：“客自长安来，还归长安去。” 没想到吴为回他这么一句，也叫胡秉宸不得不另眼相看。啊呀呀，这个女人哪——不寻常！又一想，是暗喻他的虚浮吗？ 不求利禄，功名何妨！ 想来吴为也理解了他何以引用这个句子，所以才回了这么一句。 下面的句子就看怎么理解了，闹不好可就意蕴深长。她是有心还是无心？胡秉宸追问道：“下面呢？” 吴为不过想说，既然回去当京官，何谈不得已？没想到马失前蹄—— 下面的句子该是：“狂风吹我心，西挂咸阳树。此情不可道；此别何时遇？望望不见君，连山起烟雾。”李白这首诗，与男女之情完全无关，要不是胡秉宸步步紧逼、层层设套，接下去倒也无妨。可现在，很容易为移花接木制造可乘之机，她怎么能接这样的句子？只好说：“忘了。” 胡秉宸接着说道：“该是不道风吹絮，但挂咸阳树……” as expected!还是被胡秉宸移花接木了。 明知胡秉宸篡改，但那样明显地暗示了他的心思，吴为只好故作不知。 胡秉宸一向喜欢将古人的诗词改头换面，想当年他对表姐绿云说的那句“怎一个谢字了得？”还不是从李清照的《声声慢》“怎一个、愁字了得”来的？ 多年以后，当他又与吴为离婚与白帆复婚之后，还会不断地给吴为寄些改头换面的诗词——既表明对吴为专情，也表明了对白帆最后的忘恩负义；既表明拈花惹草本性难移，也暴露了“得拈且拈”的痞气，晚年的胡秉宸是越来越不堪了。 我自岿然不动的吴为，直等到胡秉宸的行程越来越近，才突然慌乱起来，想不到一句秦少游惹来这样的大祸。拉过一张纸，坐下写了：“梨花就要开了，您却要走了。”没有抬头也没有落款，用两个手指捏着那个条子，奔赴刑场似的走出门去。一出门，就碰见胡秉宸背着手；在田埂上如笼中之兽焦灼地踱来踱去。 He is waiting for her! 吴为觉得脑袋空了，心涨得就要爆炸，脸色惨白地捏着那张条子向胡秉宸走去，一句话也没有，把条子递给了他。 胡秉宸好像等的就是这张条子，一把抢了过去，塞进兜里，然后各自转身走开。 他们就这样分别了。 7 胡秉宸走后，吴为天天到很远的小河那儿去，依在梨树下，坐看对岸的梨花。 漫山梨花让她想起宋代严蕊的词：“道是梨花不是，道是杏花不是，白白与红红，别是东风情味。