Chapter 26 Part II.4.2

The little old man said no more.This must be a woman from a good family, but she fell into a situation worse than him.The things she picked up were not worth a lot of money, so she couldn't make up her mind. Who says silent waiting is not a form of oppression?Ye Lianzi had to buy something, so she looked at the cheapest lollipop and said, "Just buy a lollipop." The little old man took her money, but gave her two lollipops from the basket.She said, "No, I'll buy one." The little old man said, "That one is my gift for the child." Ye Lianzi blushed, the little old man is helping her!

How can you accept charity from others for no reason?Ruo Hui said not to rebut other people's face again, and betrayed his whole heart, so he had no choice but to give the little old man a bigger one and say "Thank you for your kindness!" He hugged Wu Wei and hurried away. Wu Wei held the lollipop in both hands, took a sip by himself, and then put another sip into Ye Lianzi's mouth.Ye Lianzi didn't suck, so she twisted back and forth and shouted: "Mom—" Now, only the ten-month-old child left to be taken care of by adults can take care of himself and be considerate of himself.Ye Lianzi couldn't screw Wu Wei, so she had to take a sip.She and Wu Wei walked around the streets and alleys like this, holding lollipops, you sip, I sip, and then wiped away tears, planning to go home after the Dong family had dinner.The days became more and more difficult, and in the blink of an eye, at the end of the spring of 1938, Wu Wei had measles again, and Ye Lianzi was inexperienced, so they thought she had a cold.

Mrs. Dong came over to take a look and said, "Oh, this child has measles. Look, even her eyes are covered with measles. Hurry up and cover her up so she won't be exposed to the wind. It will be difficult to handle." It was too late for Ye Lianzi to understand, Wu Wei might still have been exposed to the wind, and he had a scalding high fever but didn't cry or make noise.Wu Wei has never been an obedient child, but once he gets sick or encounters a major event, he is quieter than ever.In a few years, people will witness Wu Wei's unbelievable composure in another catastrophe.

Ye Lianzi had no choice but to sell the watch that Gu Qiushui gave her when she got married. She would not sell this watch until the end of the road. I didn't know until I got to the pawnshop that the watch was just a show.Appearance goods are for people to see, but when they are sold for money, they are not worth much.Full of Gu Qiushui's style.With that little money, she could take Wu Wei to seek medical treatment. Hearing that there was a good doctor in the French Concession, Ye Lianzi finally understood that if she had measles, she could not be exposed to the wind, so she wrapped Wu Wei in a small quilt and went from China, Henan to the French Concession.She couldn't afford a foreign car, and she had to save every dollar. Who knew how much it would cost for Wu Wei to see a doctor?

At first, I didn't feel how heavy Wu Wei was, I just rushed forward.The more I walked, the heavier it became: the quilt that was tightly wrapped became looser and looser, and it was almost dragged to the ground.The quilt tripped her feet and almost made her fall.She broke out in a cold sweat, - don't drop the child again! At this time, I can see that I have never eaten a bowl of dry rice since I was a child, and now I have been drinking stick noodle porridge for another year. As time went on, she had to stop from time to time, squatting on the ground to rewrap Wu Wei's quilt tightly, holding one end of the quilt with her teeth, and hurriedly wrapped the other end of the quilt tightly with both hands, secretly reminding herself: "Don't Catch the wind, but don't be the wind!"

When she takes a step, she mumbles, how far is it, how far is it?I really can't hold it or walk. It's really a telephone pole, a telephone pole, moving forward.Ye Lianzi, who was nearly 30 years old, had never seen a doctor even though she was sick, thinking that as long as the money was spent, and the doctor in the French Concession would treat her and take the medicine from the doctor in the French Concession, Wu Wei would recover soon.But Wu Wei's high fever persisted, she was wheezing, and she could feel her sudden convulsion through the quilt.Ye Lianzi stretched her hand into the bed and touched it again. The flesh on Wu Wei's body became less and less. In the end, even his crotch became thinner, and even his buttocks, which were the least visible, were thinner. Eyes are closed.There are only two wings of the nose, one L and one drum, one L and one drum, as if flying, very hard.

Seeing Wu Wei's fluttering nostrils, Mrs. Dong, who had given birth to four children and took care of four children with measles, said: "It's terrible, this is the 'fan pulse'. It can't be done, this child can't do it! " Ye Lianzi's originally beautiful face was immediately deformed by God's fist.She turned her face to Mrs. Dong and murmured something, but neither Mrs. Dong nor Dong Gui understood what she said.Her crooked chin really made Dong Gui feel sad, so he said: "Don't worry, I know there is an old Chinese doctor nearby, and I heard that he is very effective. I will go find him. Now that things are going on, let's treat a dead horse as a living horse doctor." "It seems that Wu Wei's fate is not over yet, and after taking the medicine of the old Chinese medicine doctor, he slowly recovered.

Later, Wu Wei often thought, why did Ye Lianzi insist on pulling her and not letting her go?If she was allowed to go, not only would she be cured, but Ye Lianzi would also be healed.After Wu Wei's illness, Ye Lianzi could no longer hold her breath. She no longer hid in the house, and from time to time, she took Wu Wei to Dong's house to hang out.As soon as Wu Wei was put on the Dong family kang, Wu Wei crawled up and down on the kang obediently, playing with himself, and never peed on the Dong family kang. At that time, Wu Wei didn't wet the bed at all, and bed-wetting is a matter of the future.

Ye Lianzi waited silently, and when she saw that Mrs. Dong was no longer busy, she said, "Tell me, when will our Nannan's father come back?" What did Mrs. Dong know, and what could she answer?I don't know how to go to Bao's house to ask, maybe I can find out why. Ye Lianzi didn't necessarily expect an answer, she just couldn't stand being alone and anxious.After all, I feel a little regretful, isn't this annoying others?So he made a smiling face and said embarrassedly: "Look, I'm going to make things difficult for you." In order to show that she would not be bored with Mrs. Dong any more, she shook Wu Wei in her arms and sang: "The clouds are floating, the stars are shining. The sea, the tide has died down long ago... Birds who love to sing, people who love to talk, all come together I fell asleep..." But she sang and cried again.

Although Mrs. Dong comforted Ye Lianzi, "There is no need to be in a hurry in one's life", she said to Dong Gui at night: "Who is not in a hurry? You have no money to live, even if you save money! You Didn't you see, she can't even eat corn bread? I don't think the two of them can make it through." Dong Gui said: "Yeah, she thought the war was a matter of a day or two, and as long as she survives this period, Company Commander Gu will be able to come back after speaking." Mrs. Dong said: "Mr. Bao took the man away, and the Bao family didn't even ask about his family. Mrs. Gu is an honest person, and she doesn't know how to go to the Bao family. Where does this go? You have to tell their old man Say, you can't just watch their mother and son starve to death?"

Dong Gui went to see Mrs. Bao.Said: "Commander Gu followed Master Bao, and his family has no money to live on. What do you think?" Mrs. Bao was a well-known righteous man in the Northeast Army, and he readily agreed: "Of course we should." Don't worry, let me go in and tell Grandma." The grandma, who was eating fast and praying to Buddha, replied, "There are too many people in the first one, the second division, can you take care of it?" As soon as Mrs. Bao came out of the grandma's room, his tone changed. Dong Gui thought, this is wrong, everyone in the 11th and 2nd divisions has official positions, so why do they look for the Bao family?Gu Qiushui was different. Master Bao took him away from the army, saying that the secretary was not the secretary, and that the footman was not the footman. It took more than three years, and now he was taken away again. His wife and children can’t even eat, so how could he not care? Woolen cloth? Seeing that there was no hope, Dong Gui went to the front yard to look for the second wife. Dong Gui followed the Bao family since he was a child, and knew the behavior of the upper and lower people, and compared them, he still felt that the second wife had some sympathy for others, and she was also the one who had the final say in front of Mr. Bao.Mrs. Bao built a mansion for each of her sons. The mansions of the sons are connected but not connected. Mr. Bao, who was born in a "beard", built a very westernized house, and even the basement servants' toilets were flush toilets.Fifty years later, Wu Wei revisited the old places. These houses are still alive and well, but they have been ruined beyond recognition.The residents have changed from generation to generation, but none of them are related to the Bao family.She looked at the unfamiliar faces and thought sadly, residents, why do you have nothing to do with this small building? People looked at Wu Wei coldly, and someone asked, "Are you here to take back the property rights?" Wu Wei said: "Where do I have real estate? I am the child of a servant here." It was only then that the second wife remembered the letters that Mrs. Gu had written to her in recent months. The letters were well written, and the letters contained monthly expenses, such as rent, rice, noodles, oil, salt, etc., euphemistically explaining her predicament.So she said: "Since my husband took the man away from the factory, we don't care about the shame. Let the two of them come over, at least there will be no need for food and lodging." After thinking about it, she said, "There is no need to talk to her. Well, let her live in the basement of the servants, and eat with them." Dong Gui thought, isn't this a servant of the Bao family?She is still the wife of the company commander.I also thought, whether it is a servant or not, it is better than not being able to uncover the pot, and now it can only be like this.Ye Lianzi came to the second wife's house in this way. When the second wife first arrived, she was quite polite. When she was happy, she would even give Wu Wei a piece of snack. Where did Wu Wei eat snack?Because of this, Wu Wei, who was a little over one year old, knew how to blink his little eyes and look at the second wife flatteringly. The second wife likes children, especially Wu Wei, who is just learning to walk, wobbling like a duckling.Every day after dinner, the second wife teased Wu Wei to learn to walk by the sand pile in the yard.She squatted at one end, let Wu Wei stand at the other end, waved to Wu Wei and said, "Come here, come here." Unexpectedly, the servant below looked more like the master than the master who went up to the room. Mama Wen gave Ye Lianzi a badass first, pointing to the two suitcases brought by Ye Lianzi and said: "Oh, where are you here to serve?" Damn, look at your big suitcase, I thought it was some young lady who came to visit relatives!" Mama Liu said: "Mother Wen, don't be like that. When anyone is in trouble, if it is not difficult, they can take this step? Who knows what will happen to them in the future, so leave yourself a way out." She often persuaded Ye Lianzi, "Think about it, there is no unparalleled road, don't care about those people, you are not eating their food!" Because of these few words, Ye Lianzi missed Liu Ma all her life, and always said to Wu Wei: "When you are in despair, even a few words of comfort will make you feel alive." The life of the second wife is gradually not as good as before.Later, the second wife resigned as a handyman, and Ye Lianzi took over the work of a handyman.From then on, Mother Wen became more arrogant. She saw that Ye Lianzi, like her, was also a maid with a reputation. It is said that Ye Lianzi's man is Master Bao's secretary, and he went to do important things with Master Bao.What is a secretary?It looks similar to Ma Bian, how about the second wife treat his family like that?Servants are not like servants, and friends are not like friends.Since the second wife doesn't treat her like a servant, and a friend like a friend, what does Mama Wen have to worry about? Mother Wen looked down on Ye Lianzi.Except for Liu Ma, Ye Lianzi rarely talked to anyone. She was obviously a servant, but she looked different from a real servant.In the evening, when the servants of several rooms gather together to play mahjong, look at Ye Lianzi, staring at the lamp like a lady, or staring at the wall thinking about something.Her silence made Ma Wen, who could go anywhere and talk, feel more like a servant, or a servant at all. Occasionally, Wu Wei would cry once or twice in his dream, and Mama Wen would say to Ye Lianzi in a vicious voice, "Why don't you take care of your child? It's so noisy that we can't sleep!" Ye Lianzi didn't dare to say anything, so she could only hold Wu Wei tighter, and whispered to her, "Good boy, don't cry, don't cry. You heard people talk about us." Mama Wen's words were like Whipping a dog that fell into the water.Not all dogs can swim, some can swim and some can't. Mother Wen loves to beat the dog that can't swim, but no one has ever heard that dog cry. Actually cry too. In front of everyone, Ye Lianzi was smiling. Her smile was a dignity wrapped in shabby clothes, like a person from a family who has fallen into poverty.That long gown may be versatile, but it cannot be said that it is not a long gown.Since it maintains the identity of the gown, it can be compared with other gowns. Rather than saying that Ye Lianzi’s smile is the gown that maintains her dignity, it’s better to say that smile is a different kind of begging and begging for forgiveness, begging people not to look under the gown, not to see or figure out the shabbiness and poverty hidden under the gown. embarrassment.After she was no longer alive, whenever Wu Wei thought of Ye Lianzi, it was always this smiling face that popped up instead of the disaster-stricken appearance.It seems that Ye Lianzi tried her best to hide the appearance of suffering from disasters and their various embarrassments that cannot be shared with others, and even Wu Wei didn't know all about it. After finishing the work, Ye Lianzi retreated into a corner with a blurred expression, like a shadow behind the curtain.Occasionally someone passed her by, and most of them would not give her a glance as if she was a living thing; even if someone gave her a glance, it was probably because of the coldness oozing out of her solitude, which made people feel cold. Raid.For some people, crying, which is purely personal, cannot be performed freely and freely as one wishes.So for a person who has nothing but two tears, can those tears belong to him?Really nothing! From then on, Wu Wei always wanted to cry, just want to laugh, whenever it hurts, whenever she wanted to pee, whenever she was hungry, whenever she felt itchy, she wanted to scratch... She had to look at other people's faces before deciding whether she could cry. , can you laugh, can you pee, can you say you are hungry, can you tickle... If others are unhappy, you can’t cry if you pinch your finger in the door, you can’t pee if you want to pee your pants, and your stomach growls with hunger It can't be said that I'm hungry, and I can't scratch it even if the itching is unbearable...otherwise my mother will suffer because of it.At this point, how else can you think of a way to prevent people from being crowded? There are still ways. That is, before others get the right squeeze, you squeeze yourself right first, and once you squeeze the right one, you will be squeezed right to the end, leaving no room for others to get the right one.Therefore, giving in, forbearance, and pleasing others have become their most fundamental attitudes in life.In fact, it is necessary to sacrifice the two most urgent needs of oneself to meet the needs of others who are not very necessary, or even have an extra share.As a result, when they get along with others, no matter what they want or don't ask for, even for those who ask for them, they still feel wronged and "deprived" of themselves as they did when they were under the fence. This also makes them overly sensitive.After they have squeezed themselves so that there is no room left, if anyone does not give them a little face and continues to squeeze them, they will fight for their weak lives, like a rocket "five, four, three, Two, one" will release the humiliation accumulated in the heart after the last "one". This is why after marrying Hu Bingchen, Wu Wei always acted like a concubine to please the people around him. It was the same even for Hu Bingchen's secretary. Seeing how flattering she was to the secretary, Hu Bingchen said with a smile: "Do you understand the truth that 'only a small woman is hard to raise'? Why can't she put on airs at all? The more you behave like this, the more they will slap their noses on their faces, and the less they will respect you." Not to mention his daughter Fu Rong.Ru Feng said that she was "to the point of flattery", "Are you flattered by his love? Otherwise, many of your behaviors are difficult to understand", and he always reminded her with a long heart: "There is a person you have to respect, She is Wu Wei. In this world, who else can think of her except you?" How did they know that this attitude towards people and things came from their infancy? After losing her mother at the age of five.It was a little early. As soon as Wu Wei could babble and talk, he could kneel on the ground in a decent manner, and.Shi Lianzi waxed the stairs and floors together. Her little face hasn't grown yet; her little nose, eyes, and mouth are just circles one after another, yet set in the baby's chaos; her little spine hasn't grown hard yet, long straight... Her small body was prostrate on the ground, like a little hedgehog.Her muscles and bones are newborn, and she can withstand repeated tossing. She has neither backache nor leg pain, nor wheezing and wheezing. She has a bright future. After Ye Lianzi, Wu Wei was able to support the lonely Ye family with fists and kicks. It is precisely because of this "children's skill" that he was at the bottom, and he could go all out no matter what he did, including the love that never returned. gamble. Doing, doing, Wu Wei raised his sweaty little face and said to his mother: "Mom, Mom, Mommy Wen is a big tiger." Ye Lianzi smiled: "She is snoring." Wu Wei said again: "You're still blowing sugar, puff—puff—" She sometimes said: "Mom, mom, my wife gave me candy." No one can call the second wife "Second Madam", only "Madam", even Wu Wei knows it.Ye Lianzi said: "Did you say thank you?" "Thank you—thank you—" "Is it delicious?" "tasty--" It's a pity that apart from being deeply comforted, Ye Lianzi doesn't quite understand that Wu Wei is her most loyal partner in the journey of life. After almost a year of food, in the summer of 1939, the Haihe River burst.The butler told the servants to find their own way of life. The servants who went up and down disappeared without a trace.They are all country folks with families. When they return to the countryside, no matter whether they can escape the flood or not, the family will die together even if they die. There was Mother Liu, who looked helplessly at Ye Lianzi and her mother before leaving, opened and closed her mouth, bowed her head a little uneasy and left.Ye Lianzi thought, at this juncture, what can Madam Liu do?It would be nice to think about seeing the two of them. First, black water gushed out of the gutter, and by about three o'clock in the afternoon, the flood flooded Tianjin, with dead bodies floating and boats sailing along the road.At night, the flood water rose to the third floor, and when one looked out of the window, one could see "a vast expanse of ocean was gone, and no one knew where it was heading. People were driven by the water and ran from the second floor to the third floor. Mrs. Bao rented a few large boats, and ordered all households to take their clothes and escape to Peiping. People ran around in front of Ye Lianzi, mother and daughter, as if they didn't see them, although Ye Lianzi stood in front of everyone holding Wu Wei. People who could smile and say "Mrs. Gu, have you eaten?" when they met each other, they didn't seem to know each other at this time, and their mouths were tightly closed. The poor little Wu Wei who often entertains the second wife is more like a doll who is tired of being played with and discarded... beside him.Wu Wei, who is a little over two years old, although he doesn't understand the magnitude of the flood rising to the third floor, is frightened by the extraordinary state of people. He knows that at this moment, he can't cry or laugh, let alone say "Mrs. Although the second wife likes Wu Wei to call her that, just call her; when the wife is happy, the second wife will give her a snack or two pieces of candy. Now she can only nestle in Ye Lianzi's arms timidly, with His eyes stared helplessly at those who turned their faces and refused to recognize anyone. In the end, people finally packed up and boarded the boats. At this moment, Ye Lianzi still couldn't understand, and she still dragged people's backs with her eyes, thinking that if anyone could look back at them, someone might show kindness and say, "Oh, there are Mrs. Gu and the others, too. Take them with you." How can someone turn back! Then shout: "Please take our mother and son with you, don't leave us orphans and widows!" She couldn't open her mouth again.Since Mo He's death, she has been placed in this position: when encountering disaster, misfortune, death...she must be the first; when encountering happiness, luck, living...the opportunity, she must be the first the last one.Even she herself is used to it. Once this kind of decision comes, she has no choice but to accept it as she has done since she was a child. Otherwise, just walk away like other servants and find a place to hide.Where is she hiding?Where is her home? Or rent a boat to hide in the water.Does she have money?At this time, renting a boat is like buying a life. As valuable as life is, so is the boat. It should be said that Ye Lianzi didn't encounter bad people, what she encountered was just a chaotic era where people could only take care of themselves and not others. People left in boats and left their mother and daughter in an isolated building.There were several houses in the front and back of the large courtyard and the small courtyard. Just now, there were people coming and going, hundreds of people, and the voices of people were full of life. With a cynical sneer, Heishui casually stalked inch by inch.Floating in the water are thatched roofs, furniture, wood, even cats, dogs, and mice. Tossing and moaning helplessly...it was getting dark gradually.Ye Lianzi hugged Wu Wei and stood stiffly in the darkness, biting the bullet, listening to death, and searching around with black water in her chest. Wu Wei began to cry cautiously, and continued between sobs: "Mom, belly: hungry..." Ye Lianzi woke up suddenly.Turn on the light in the hallway, but it doesn't work.Turn on the light on the stairs again, it doesn't work.I went to the owner's room to try again, but it still didn't light up. --what!The electricity was out... Immediately, I was surprised again, the kitchen is downstairs, where can I eat upstairs? She put Wu Wei on the floor, asked her to sit down, and said, "Be good, be obedient, don't move, if you move, you won't be able to find your mother. Mom will find you something to eat." He touched the stairs, held on to the handrail and walked downstairs with one foot and one foot.Before reaching the second floor, as soon as I stretched out my feet, one foot was immediately pulled out by cold water. I took advantage of the daylight to look down—every step, every inch of the floor, every step that I had touched countless times with them. At this time, the square space turned into a big black mouth, which could swallow them without emotion and without leaving any bones. Turn around quickly, fortunately, Wu Wei just sat there without moving, Ye Lianzi had no choice but to harden her heart and coax her, saying: "Don't cry, Bo: I'm a good boy of Mom. Mom will find you something to eat in the morning." , you can’t see anything now, can you?” Wu Wei understood. The night is getting deeper, the howling of the water, the whimpering of the wind, the intermittent cries of riding the wind and the water... Converging into a life-threatening cry, sweeping across the sky and the ground, it makes people shudder and shudder.Even Wu Wei hugged Ye Lianzi tightly in fear, not daring to make a sound. When she grows up, once a catastrophe is imminent, Wu Wei will immediately hear this kind of naughty cry, which is so real that it can drown her, and then meticulously suffocate her.Regarding the "disaster", I am afraid that no one has the empathy that ordinary people cannot experience like her.The slow, gurgling-swelling sound of the water will stand out among all the sounds, especially making her feel terrified. At this moment, something was swimming towards the window, Ye Lianzi thought excitedly, could someone come to rescue them? She pressed close to the window, watching the thing slowly floating... Gradually it swam to the window, and it was really a person. Now I can see it clearly. It is a messy corpse. The human body swells a lot.The most frightening thing was the expression on his face... Suddenly, the white corpse stood up in the water with a whoosh. stepped in.The white corpse floated up and down around the small building...Ye Lianzi turned left and right again and again on the spot, and looked helplessly at the gate. Is the old watchman still there?Town is.Even if she can scream for help, even if the old guard can hear her cry for help, what's the use?There was several feet of black water between them...she couldn't ask for help, and couldn't escape.I can't hide it if I want to! Surrounded corpses are even more desperate than besieged on all sides.She turned around and pressed her back against the wall, first changing the four corpses into three corpses.The fear that came from behind, the scariest of all fears, seemed to be blocked by the waist, and then slipped out to the ground, leaning against the wall, bent over, covering Wu Wei with her body, and then plunged down, closing her eyes Resigned to fate. In this way, her heart was tightly pressed against Wu Wei's small body.She felt Wu Wei's heart beating clearly and powerfully even though it was still young.There was a living creature accompanying her! After not seeing anything for a long time, Ye Lianzi slowly raised her head and looked out the window——that face disappeared. Just after dawn, Ye Lianzi was looking for food everywhere. At first she was very confident, thinking that no matter what, she could always find biscuits, snacks and other things in some room on the third floor, but it was strange, but there were none.Wu Zixu's hair turned white all night, and one after another empty tubes, jars and various empty utensils appeared one after another, but within a day, Ye Lianzi's mouth was so rotten that there was no skin left.From then on, whenever she was in a hurry to get angry, her mouth would be covered with rotten skin, and it was not cured until two years before her death.Maybe knowing that life is going away day by day, disaster will never have a chance to compete with her. Where can I find a stutter for Wu Wei?If the flood doesn't subside for ten days and half a month, wouldn't their mother and daughter starve to death upstairs? So she wept with joy when she found a biscuit jane flour and a kerosene stove. Hurry up to get some flour; for some water (fortunately, the small building built by the Germans has running water on every floor), hook up the batter and burn it on the kerosene stove to feed Wu Wei. Ye Lianzi often thinks of this biscuit tin flour with gratitude. Without it, they would have died in the flood long ago. In this situation, even if Wu Wei has reached the old state, once he thinks about it, he will cry and walk up and down with difficulty.Talking to himself: "It's too sad, it's really sad..." After more than 20 days, the flood receded, the masters came back, and so did the servants. No one asked Ye Lianzi and Wu Wei, who were as thin as smoke, how did you two get here?Are you scared? Is there anything to eat? This flood seems to be caused by Ye Lianzi and Wu Wei... The days went on as usual—the four bedrooms upstairs, the living room downstairs, and the dining room were cleaned every day.Ye Lianzi is a very strong person, she can't let people touch the dust from the room she cleaned or from the table, chair, bedside, window sill; The quilts, covers, pillows, and clothes of the six beds, large and small, which are replaced as usual every day, need to be washed; Naturally, these washed clothes and quilts had to be ironed. By the time she left Bao's house in 1940, the clothes and quilts she had washed and ironed at Bao's house were probably higher than a mountain.Even in old age, Wu Wei's ironing skills can't keep up with hers, and he looks as if he just bought it from a store; Occasionally wax the stairs and floors.The second wife came up with the idea of ​​making shoes again, and asked her to finish it within a limited time, as if someone was really waiting to wear them.The soles are so thick it's unbearable.Ye Lianzi sharpened and sharpened the awl on the hard part, rubbed and rubbed it on the candle head...every time she put a needle into the sole of the shoe, her body and head bent down to the sole of the shoe vigorously; The difficult thing was to pull out the needle that had been stuck into the sole of the shoe. She bit the tip of the needle that had just emerged from the sole with her teeth, and swung her head back and forth to pull it out... Ye Lianzi chased and chased.Her arms were tired and swollen... When she had some free time, Ye Lianzi took Wu Wei to the nearby Daming Park in her arms.It is said to be a park, but there are actually no attractions.It's just an empty field, with a football field in the middle, a running track around it, stands around the runway, and tall trees behind the stands.Occasionally, a few foreigners played football in the middle of the field from a distance... In this way, Ye Lianzi felt that Daming Park was the park for their mother and daughter. People have to find a foothold for themselves in life, and their foothold is Daming Park. Ye Lianzi sat down in the stands without spectators, and Wu Wei didn't cry or make a fuss at this time, just sat there quietly to accept the influence of football culture, and the Chinese would have to wait decades before they became crazy about football. Sitting, sitting, Ye Lianzi cried silently. In their Daming Park, she can cry as long as she wants, and as much as she wants, no one will see her tears, she is not at home! Her tears, accompanied by her distressed sighs, fell drop by drop into Wu Wei's neck, warm and itchy, and crawled down Wu Wei's neck.Then gradually cool down.Wu Wei didn't move, and didn't say anything to Ye Lianzi. The bitter rain of despair and helplessness watered Wu Wei bit by bit.Under the nourishment of such rain and dew, can Wu Wei be expected to grow into an outstanding plant?Don't think about it! They just sat on the stands like this, in the cycle of willows in the spring breeze, summer rain and white clouds, colorful fallen leaves, and snowflakes, struggling to support their days, and Wu Wei was three years old in a blink of an eye. If the second wife happened to come down from the stairs when he was kneeling on the stairs to wax, Wu Wei would raise his face and smile flatteringly at the second wife.When she was young, she knew very well that when the second wife was happy, she could give her a few candies or a piece of snack, and she could say a few words to her mother in a flirtatious manner... Wu Wei could tell which color was a good color.If the second wife is unhappy, she will hide and look at her little hand over and over again, as if there is something worth studying in the little hand; then she quickly lowers her head and leans close to Ye Lianzi, shrinking her already small body even smaller , the small eyes blinked and tilted the second wife's feet to make a wider passage for those feet. No matter how much Wu Wei refuses to be a slave, her spine has been bent since she was two years old, and has never been straight again.From the age of two, everyone has become her master.She is not only the slave's daughter, but also a little slave.No matter who gave her a little love, maybe accidentally, maybe not at all, she felt that it was given to her instead of her due.And I can't wait for the next life, I wish I could "become a dog and a horse for repayment" in this life, and give myself completely, immediately, and in a hurry, so that the charity giver will think that she is such a "cheap". Even after saying goodbye to the staircase, she still unconsciously shrunk and shrunk her position in the space to make room for others. At the same time, there is still some unavoidable desire for rewards, and you have a self-awareness and a "cheap" positioning of the desire, confining it to a bone and a little rags that are waiting for others to be eliminated.In fact, all her misdemeanors, her stern voice in some trivial matters, including her publicity, are just tricks to cover up her fear of the law of the jungle, to resist her own slavishness, to resist her loathing and fear of slavishness, and to try I have proved to myself that they have never been a threat to her personality or spirit... If you ask what made Wu Wei, this staircase is undoubtedly the first chisel to make her.It is it that determines the tone and direction of Wu Wei's life. In fact, her life has been broken since she was two years old.This is really an unforgettable staircase.It was Gu Qiushui who threw her onto this staircase when she was over two years old.Therefore, her hatred for Gu Qiushui was incomprehensible to others, including Ye Lianzi. Hu Bingchen once asked her: "Are you being too cruel to your father? You are still a writer, why can't you understand the problem of men liking the new and loathing the old?" She said, "I'm not ruthless. What's wrong with liking the new and loathing the old? It's common sense, man or woman. - What I hate is why he doesn't take a little financial responsibility? It's not that he doesn't have money, he buys an English suit for seventy dollars, and my mother and I get six dollars I can live a month... Even if he gives us ten yuan a month, ten yuan, as long as ten yuan, my life will not start to fall from the age of two, nor will I be so servile and spend my whole life with others , especially in the relationship with men. Not to mention his violence as a reference, anyone who gives me a smile makes me feel like I have met the savior... Tell me, can it be that my whole life, Lian Worse than a British suit?..." In this way, most of the relationship between Wu Wei and Hu Bingchen has to be taken care of by herself, and Gu Qiushui has to take care of it.If she hadn't positioned herself as an inferior concubine from the very beginning, but had a sense of equality or even superiority like Bai Fan, even if she was abandoned by Hu Bingchen in the end, even if Hu Bingchen tortured her to make excuses for divorce, she would not have It would hurt her that much. 5 Throughout her life, Wu Wei has been trying every means to get revenge on Gu Qiushui who pushed her up the stairs, and he has always been brooding about not being able to find the pleasure of killing him.When Ye Lianzi opened the door, the first thing she saw was a pair of feet.There is nothing special about these feet. I wear a pair of "three joints" that Chinese men have worn for decades and have not changed...but the trousers are rolled up in various colors.At that time, people were so frugal that they omitted everything that could be omitted, including the hem on men's trousers. After the reform and opening up, it was another matter.