Chapter 25 Part II.4.1

1 None of them expected that at the end of August 1937, the Pingsui, Pinghan, and Jinpu railways would be occupied by the Japanese, and the north-south communication would be cut off soon. Only now did Ye Lianzi taste what it meant to be taken by surprise, and she seriously underestimated the accidents lurking in the import and export of today and tomorrow.It's no wonder that before entering the dreamland, Wu Wei would always have some kind of anticipation to spy on "tomorrow", and never imagined that what would come with tomorrow might be a blow to the head.Such is the family style.

She also has a very specific understanding of traffic, so she can't let go of a question.That iron road can still run the clanging, majestic train that runs over people if it says it runs over people, how can it be broken when it breaks? Now Gu Qiushui can't return, she can't go.This road that cannot "communicate" easily separated her and Gu Qiushui in two places.As soon as Gu Qiushui went there, there was no news.Ye Lianzi, who is good at understanding, said to herself that it is not easy to send letters from "over there".But the little money that was hidden left and right was getting less and less well understood.If it was said that when she suddenly left Gu Qiushui, her more difficulties came from the spirit, then now she feels very materially that the sea of ​​people is vast, nowhere to be seen, without scratching or scratching.That bed at night was more like a solitary boat, even if it was close to the wall, it would not be able to touch the shore.Not to mention relatives and friends, even those who refused to treat her well are gone. Compared with now, isn't life in the country just a breeze?She began to reflect, and it was impossible to know how dissatisfied she was without seeing the world.

The crickets at the base of the wall began to chirp unexpectedly and slowly, opening and closing, like pulling strings, and then there was a sudden silence, hiding a small contest.Where is it not easy to stay?I just like places like the root of the wall!After all, there are still crickets chirping, especially at night, even people who don't often think of spring flowers, autumn fruits, romantic events, can't help but think about it because of these crickets.And the time of each day passed in the tension and slowness of them. The leaves on the old locust trees are gradually falling off, leaving only the bird's nests inserted in the branches.During the day, the birds fly in and out, and it is lively; when the night falls, there is no movement in the bird's nest.But there is always a bird squatting outside the nest, seemingly sleeping but not sleeping. Once there is a disturbance, it will flap its wings and get up to inspect it. It is a male bird, guarding the female bird and its young in the nest.Yes, there is a man guarding the house, and the family can sleep peacefully.

In a blink of an eye it was winter. Winter nights are for listening.Ye Lianzi hugged Wu Wei, huddled in the hard and cold blanket, and received night sounds from various channels beyond a wall. Hasty, secret, tentative, floating, hesitant, trampling...the footsteps seem to be hanging above their heads instead of passing outside the wall.A sudden gunshot, an indistinct shout, piercing through the cold winter night, like a cold gun coming from behind, made her unpredictable and defenseless, and unexpectedly attacked her unexpectedly. Ye Lianzi thought, thanks to Gu Qiushui's departure, no matter how difficult her life was, it was worth it.

Occasionally, there were frivolous laughter from men and women, drunken staggering steps, slurred words, earth-shattering burps... It made her feel that this winter day was not different because of Gu Qiushui's departure or the arrival of the Japanese. The cries of "Hard Noodles!" were torn intermittently by the cold north wind, as if they could not find a home, they rubbed against the gables on both sides of the alley, fluttering east and west, and finally settled in a corner. Corner curled up. Among the many all-inclusive cries that change with the seasons in Beiping,Bu Lianzi only retains the "hard noodles - pastry!" which seems to only appear on winter nights, and omits those singing shouts: "The nourishing and healthy "radish is better than the sweet pear-" It is said that after eating the radish, you can eat it again. Drink a cup of hot tea, and the hospital has to be closed; at noon in summer, under the shade of the old locust tree swinging "hanging ghost", listening to the refreshing voice "Jelly--"; "Sharpening scissors, sharpening knives" on a bench, "curium pot, curium bowl, curium vat, big vat, landlord Mrs. Yang said that a neighbor finished playing small cards in the middle of the night and was hungry. He went to the street to buy a hard-faced pastry. After getting it in his hand, when he looked up, he found that the seller had no chin, "You met a ghost, didn't you? "Sister-in-law Yang said. "Hard noodles - pastry!" The cries of "Calling" also entered into Wu Wei's life of only seven or eight months. Although she never heard this kind of cries again, every winter night, especially on the coldest winter night , this cries will come unexpectedly——from her first winter to her last winter. The man Ye Lianzi talked about many times is not as good as this man with no chin and selling hard noodles Can't find a home, the cries of hawks fluttering like flakes in the wind, say tight or not, say loose or not, say forget but remember, say remember but forget, hold Wu Wei's heart. If She can't be happy all her life. If she messes up her own life with other people's life all her life, she really can't just blame others. How many times, Wu Wei wanted to say this crucial cry to her beloved Hu Bingchen, But when it comes to such topics, she, who can be regarded as eloquent, seems to be anxious. Maybe as a writer, she can't do anything about it, maybe the disapproving smile on the corner of Hu Bingchen's mouth makes her hesitate to speak. Don't talk about Hu Bingchen, who After listening to Wu Wei's nonsense, people don't think she is pretending to be a ghost? When she woke up early in the morning, Ye Lianzi was worried about the silver that was getting less and less every day.

She had already rented out the other two houses, leaving only one, and carefully collected the trivial matters with Gu Qiushui.When packing those things, she didn't show much sadness, firmly believing that sooner or later they would return to their old appearance.In particular, Gu Qiushui bought a white tablecloth from a thrift store, with patterns of grapes and vine leaves embroidered on the four sides, which made her caress over and over again.Even after drifting away, Ye Lianzi was not willing to throw away this tablecloth of unsatisfactory origin. No matter where she went, once she could linger for a few days, she would revisit old dreams and spread it on rough wood or crumbling wood. , or on a table with incomplete legs, even if it ends up in a broken kiln on the Loess Plateau.

She really didn't understand how much dilapidation the dilapidated tablecloth had added to the dilapidated cave dwelling, which was of unknown origin! After leaving the land, Gu Qiushui, the carpenter's son, quickly mastered the little things of city life—— It costs nothing, but a tablecloth; A small knick-knack bought from a thrift store, once a few pieces become: second-hand goods are as cheap as expensive clothes picked up for nothing, although the provenance of those things makes Mohe's daughter Ye Lianzi somewhat embarrassed; A few flowers that were picked from Bao's courtyard nearby instead of bought...

Inexpensive to make their day just as affordable. So on the morning of Wu Wei's birth, it was no surprise that Gu Qiushui picked a handful of wisteria from the Bao family's yard. Ye Lianzi is a very planning person. Readers may remember that she knew how to manage her rations since she was a child, and knew how to maximize the benefits of that ration.For example, how to treat the white flour steamed bun that was removed from the altar after the fifteenth day of the first lunar month and assigned to her name. Ye Lianzi put away all the junk that was not needed, bundled them into bundles and tied them with ropes, and it would be good to exchange them for a box of matches if necessary.The stove is only lit when cooking, and Ye Lianzi is not afraid of the cold.Wearing a padded jacket made of cotton lumps the size of a fingernail, she can also carry the lotus leaves in her hometown in the Northeast in winter. What kind of cold can stump her!

Wu Wei cried loudly, ignorant of current affairs. Ye Lianzi had no choice but to use Gu Qiushui's fashion pictorial magazines "Liangyou" and "Vientiane" to slip through the window, and wrapped quilts, cotton clothes, and everything that could be used to keep out the cold on Wu Wei's body.On days when the north wind blows and it snows heavily, she would sit on the bed with Wu Wei in her arms, motionless, for fear of dissipating the heat from her body, and she would rely on that heat to keep Wu Wei warm.When the sun was shining, I hurriedly carried Wu Wei to the base of the south wall to bask in the sun. While shaking Wu Wei, I stared at the half of the wall base in a daze. Gu Qiushui took her hand and hit the half of the wall base. The scene of the gun is vivid.Seeing that she was lonely, and the neighbors in the neighborhood were chatting with her, she could only smile shyly.

Knowing that the Bao family has all arrived in Tianjin and only the concierge is left behind, sometimes I can't help but go to the next door to have a look. After all, the Bao family's courtyard is more or less pretending to be related to Gu Qiushui-naturally it is also a day related to her.Before she opened her mouth, the concierge said: "Guess what... until now they haven't even paid me last month's salary, and I haven't seen anyone from their old Bao's house at all." What she wanted to hear was this one? ! She even calculated every copper coin.She likes to be clean, so she can't even wash and change her clothes frequently. Every time she picks up water, she gets two copper coins, so save as much as she can, but Wu Wei's diapers can't be saved without washing.

For a whole winter, she didn't dare to buy a single Chinese cabbage that even poor families in Peiping couldn't do without.One day she was so greedy that it seemed that not eating that cabbage would kill her, so she got up and walked to the vegetable shop, thinking as she walked, today is Dian House Dian-Dian and she wants to eat this cabbage.But when she got to the door of the vegetable shop, her determination disappeared all of a sudden.She wandered around the door of the vegetable shop for a long time, looking at the cabbage gang thrown at the door of the Lai shop, she thought: Why buy it?Why not pick up some cabbage gangs.How many times she was about to squat down, but her self-esteem was poking blankly behind her ankles, making her legs unable to bend. She had no choice but to make up her mind to inquire about the price of cabbage. In a word, it's just a few big boys.Then she also felt that it was expensive, and asked: "Is there any cheaper one?" She placed her hopes on the cabbage gang thrown at the door of the shop, which can always be used as a bottom line.The shopkeeper with assets can't communicate with Ye Lianzi who has no assets.One silver dollar can be exchanged for four hundred and sixty copper coins. If this woman thinks that even a few big coins are expensive, she may not take advantage of even one silver dollar.He said: "A total of a few big ones are too expensive for you! If you think they are too expensive, you might as well keep those few big ones for yourself." The cabbage gang sold to her, can the cabbage gang that was broken off and thrown away count as cabbage? Letting the shopkeeper say this, Ye Lianzi immediately stopped being greedy.It seemed that she had just been possessed by a demon for a while, and now she is awake again. She just drank stick noodle porridge all winter, sprinkled some salt noodles in the porridge, and didn't even have any pickles to eat. 2 If it were Wu Wei, he would squat down and pick up those cabbage gangs without hesitation. Among the three generations of Ye Lianzi's grandparents, Wu Wei is the one who neglects self-esteem the most.Many of her mistakes would not have happened to Ye Lianzi or Zenyue.I wonder if we can find clues from the two marriages of Mo He marrying Ye Zhiqing and Ye Lianzi marrying Gu Qiushui?For the blood of Mohe's family, these two marriages are like repeated confrontations, but when it comes to Wu Wei's place, they are so sparse that they can be seen clearly, and they are a crooked human figure.This kind of speculation is not groundless, you can feel Wu Wei's bad roots from Gu Qiushui without clinging to it. For example, whenever he thinks of that meal, Wu Wei always feels like a general. It was a very ordinary home-cooked meal, one dish and one soup.The dish is sautéed green beans with kohlrabi, diced meat, and dried tofu, and the soup is tomato and egg soup. In the face of that dish and soup, Wu Wei's will is as weak as in the face of love. The hands holding the vegetables kept shaking, and they couldn't hold the diced kohlrabi, diced meat, and dried tofu, let alone the green beans. But she couldn't show her impatience, so that the host could see that she hadn't eaten such a meal for a long time. She reminded herself not to keep staring at the food on the table, and not to stare blankly at the host's face, chewing without saying a word. And to take some time out of these labor-intensive self-controls, to wonder if she's already talked about the new movie, and if so, should now be talking about someone's funeral... everything, everything, Everyone has to take care of one thing and lose another. She was so tired after eating this meal. On her forehead, there were beads of sweat that were watery but full of grains. Eating and eating, Wu Wei suddenly discovered that not only the hostess had already put down the chopsticks, but also the hostess, and even their son, who was so strong and powerful, had put down the chopsticks.She had no choice but to put down her rice bowl, pretending to be full and pretending to be terribly full. In such a difficult situation, she could still pave the way for her greed: "I love this kind of home-cooked food the most. It’s been almost two months since I ate home-cooked food. This business trip is too long, and I always eat in the canteen. Can the canteen make this kind of taste? The restaurant can’t do it either... She could see the misguided suspicion on the hostess's face, the sympathy she wanted to express but was inconvenient to express, and the arrogance that the rich people couldn't help showing their poor friends who slapped their faces to make them fat...Hobbies and hunger are obviously two different things. When helping the hostess to clean the kitchen and wash the tableware, my eyes couldn’t help searching for the place that is most closely related to food. Sure enough, I found a large box of dried boiled soybeans on the kitchen window sill. more solid. "What's the matter with these beans?" Wu Wei couldn't restrain his mind from moving again, as if he was asking inadvertently. "I originally planned to cook spiced beans, but it turned out that the beans were not of a good variety and tasted a bit bitter." "It's a pity to throw it away. It's better to let me take it back to feed the birds. The guest house where I live has a lot of birds, and there are a few birds singing on the windowsill every morning." The embarrassment of intercepting one by one, but can she make the long-lost meaty taste indifferent? No matter how you look at it, Wu Wei is one of the big vulgars who have fallen into the world of mortals. Can you expect the vulgars to refuse even the temptation of sesame seeds?Not to mention other temptations, such as love.Since we can't, we have to go to the bottom of the boat. "Okay, I also think it's a pity to throw it away, so I put it here, and I don't know what to do with it." What a well-behaved hostess! Whenever there was no one in the room, Wu Wei would close the door tightly and grind the solid soybeans with his upper and lower molars, which made the occlusal muscles of his cheeks sore.Every time I finish eating a handful of beans, my tongue feels like a layer of skin has been worn off. Sure enough, there was something wrong with the variety of beans, and the taste was bitter and astringent, but she persevered to eliminate the box of beans gradually, chewing and encouraging herself: "I'm eating protein."Wu Wei always believed that the thief was a conscientious scholar, and that someone else would have wiped out all the money she hid in the book, so besides resentment, he was also a little grateful to the thief.It should be said that her theft was due to misunderstanding and disrespect towards thieves, thinking that most thieves are lazy;Hiding money in books should be a foolproof trick. The formula is also very simple: The three-month business trip brought a total of 90 yuan for living expenses, an average of 30 yuan per month, and 1 yuan per day. Half of it was stolen, leaving only 50 cents for daily living expenses.Rice or steamed buns cost one tael for two cents, at least seven taels a day.Twenty-seven and fourteen, three cents and six cents left.Expenses for feminine hygiene products, toilet paper, toothpaste, and soap cannot be skipped. In addition to eating, people need to eat a little food, just like people need a little energy. The question is how to eat this dish?If it's easy to handle at home, just keep on drinking stick bone soup.But when he was on a business trip, he had no choice but to eat in the cafeteria. Besides the pickles that cost two cents a dish for breakfast, which cafeteria also had dishes that cost five cents a piece? ! She also couldn't call Ye Lianzi for help.For business trips, she has already taken one-third of the family's monthly living expenses. If you tell Ye Lianzi, Ye Lianzi will squeeze money from her and Zenyue's share, and then they have to be like her every time they eat. This poses an accounting problem. Years of poverty did not make up for the nutritional deficiencies caused by the national famine in the early 1960s, but just over a month of soy sauce mixed with rice made Wu Wei's eyes black, his legs weak, and dizzy fell to the ground.When people laid her flat on the bench, she felt that her body was so thin that it stuck to the bench, and she couldn't even take it off. After the examination, the doctor said: "It's nothing, it's fainting caused by severe anemia, just eat more nutritious food." Eat more nutritious things! As clearly as these nine words penetrated into her ears, as clearly as they penetrated into the ears of those around her, she could only continue to close her eyes, refusing to wake up from the faint.Besides, is there any better way to avoid that embarrassment? People finally got a glimpse of the hopeless life that Wu Wei tried his best to hide. Wu Wei never buys food in the office cafeteria, "It's too expensive," she thought. Bring from home, brown rice, and fried minced pork with pickles.The minced meat in the pickles is like a star in the morning, shouldering the heavy responsibility of nutrition for a family of three. Eat it cold in summer, and put the lunch box on the radiator in the office in winter.The bottom of the lunch box can always get some warmth. As for the temperature of the upper part of the lunch box, it can only be felt in the stomach.She never took the lunch box to the cafeteria, and asked the master chef in the cafeteria to put the steamed buns in a steamer to carry the heat.She has self-knowledge, as a person of low status and notoriety, it is best not to humiliate herself, don't you think that what others reward you is not enough?When she is in a good mood, she will stroke her stomach, and she is full of gratitude for her understanding and cooperation. After eating cold meals for many years, it is not very comfortable, and there is no serious harm. The serious harm will come when she gets old Only then can they come to the door. Except for those unavoidable occasions such as parades and rallies, Wu Wei always hides people behind his back when he eats, just like Ye Lianzi inserted in the door when it was time to eat—no one knew that Ye Lianzi, who looked very decent, People drank stick noodle porridge all winter, and they didn't even have pickles to go with the porridge. At the beginning, during parades and rallies, Wu Wei only brought a steamed bun and a piece of pickle. When he arrived at the scene, he found that there was nowhere to turn.People who usually feel that their purity, chastity, and morality have been tarnished when they talk to her also come to care about her nutrition and health.Why were there so many parades and rallies in those days! There will be parades or rallies in the future, so I have to buy vitamin bread.That kind of bread is very fluffy and soft, with so much pigment that it doesn't look like bread but like mangoes that Mao Zedong handed over to the revolutionary masses.She waved this prop in front of the eyes of those who cared about her nutrition and health, and then took it home to Zenyue. "It contains vitamin B6." Wu Wei said to Zenyue with the sacred respect for vitamins. When divorcing Han Mulin, Wu Wei resolutely decided not to ask Ye Lianzi and Shan Yue for their alimony.Not only was there no child support, but Han Mulin even returned the symbolic compensation of seventy yuan to Chanyue.When she made this lofty decision of self-respect and self-love, did she ever think about how she and Ye Lianzi can maintain a family of three with a combined monthly income of less than 100 yuan?She only wants to be responsible for her self-esteem and self-love, why doesn't she think about being responsible for the survival of Ye Lianzi and Zenyue? !She is so unselfish! Wu Wei is actually a very selfish person, for the sake of his face, he can forget about his responsibilities to his mother and daughter.Not only that, Ye Lianzi, Zenyue, and her illegitimate son Fontaine, all suffered the world's insults for her greater selfishness. If Ye Lianzi didn't have the ability developed in poverty, how could she deal with this kind of poverty!In terms of exerting residual heat, Ye Lianzi is not lost in her later years, unlike some retired cadres who suffer from mental depression once they retire from their posts.Ye Lianzi just sometimes can't turn around Jinxi is He Xi's turn, and in a daze, she thinks that she has gone back to decades ago. After Zenyue took root in the fallen leaves in his hometown, one winter night, when she was sitting by the fireplace and pouring a glass of wine, she would occasionally think of her little grandma Ye Lianzi, nothing else, almost in endless poverty, how The struggle to turn nothing into something, and turn less into more. Shan Yue called Ye Lianzi her little grandma. Before going to school, Chanyue often went grocery shopping with her grandma. Even in the twelfth lunar month of winter, they will stand in front of the meat case for hours and hours, waiting patiently for the butcher to pick the bones off the pig.They can't afford meat, they can afford pork bones. The draft in the vegetable market was fishy and hard, and the floor was covered with wet black mud soup. The people waiting in line to buy pork bones in front of the meat case are almost all ragged old ladies.But Ye Lianzi didn't, even though she was wearing clothes with eight patches, she ironed them evenly with a soldering iron, and also ironed Wu Wei's and Zenyue's patches evenly. The butcher seller looked at the eight flat patches on her body, and said politely, "You can have some more pigskin. The pigskin costs seven cents a catty." Everyone was very polite when they saw Ye Lianzi. Seeing Wu Wei is not necessarily the case.This may be what people often say "everyone has a steelyard in their hearts". Ye Lianzi blushed with gratitude, and said repeatedly: "Thank you, thank you!" What a wonderful time it was. Pork stick bones cost seven cents a catty, and a pot of thick and fragrant soup could be boiled for just over 20 cents. "Let's order some cabbage, and we'll have soup and vegetables, enough for us to eat for a week." They drank pot after pot of this kind of soup, but they didn't gain weight. After returning home from the vegetable market, Ye Lianzi squatted on the ground and smashed the pig stick bones with a broken ax. The ax was full of rust, and there were large and small holes on the blade. After a few chops, the ax would fly out of the handle.Fortunately, Ye Lianzi didn't have much strength, so she couldn't swing the ax very far.While smashing the pig bones, she told Zenyue who was waiting behind her: "Stand a little farther away, I'll see if your head is smashed." The pork stick bones smashed by leaf lotus seeds revealed the white bone marrow. "Bone marrow is good for the development of children." Ye Lianzi pinched her fingers as thin and curved as Zenyue bean sprouts one by one.Not only are Zenyue's fingers bent, but her arms are also bent, turning outward from the elbow. After the stick bones are simmered on the coal fire for several hours, Ye Lianzi uses chopsticks to poke out the bone marrow firmly and thoroughly from each stick bone to make the best use of it.Every line of Ye Lianzi's hands was often embedded with pig bone oil. She washed them with alkaline water again and again, but they still couldn't get them clean. Fortunately, no one kissed her hands.The hands are full of burrs, and it is very comfortable to scratch Zenyue's back.She picked up pieces of orchid bone marrow and said to Chanyue: "Here, eat it. Is it delicious?" Suck the stick bone until there is no more oil and water. Listening to Chanyue sucking the bones, Ye Lianzi was deeply satisfied, and forgot that when Wu Wei was a child, she had devoted the same enthusiasm to her master's leftovers—how quick-handed and quick-sighted she was before those leftovers were poured into the gutter Pick out the bones in it carefully, if there is some meat left on it, it will be regarded as a good harvest.Every time Wu Wei half-closed his eyelids intoxicated, his slanted eyelashes dripping with greed like a small animal, and gnawed those bones with oily cheeks, Ye Lianzi would think of the story in "A River of Spring Water Flows Eastward". a movie.The male protagonist Zhang Zhongliang abandoned his wife, children, and mother, and three generations were desperate. The female protagonist Li Sufen was reduced to the point of being a maid. She felt that Li Sufen was her copy and expressed her unspeakable pain.Especially the classic scene in the film made her heartbroken—the grandma picked out the bones from the master's leftovers and happily gave them to her little grandson.Where is the little grandson who keeps his bones clear with relish?It was clearly Wu Wei. But when giving Zenyue a break, Ye Lianzi had already bid farewell to the tears of "A River of Spring Water Flowing Eastward", and it was Wu Wei's turn to interpret this too old theme.Occasionally, Ye Lianzi would say to the butcher, "Buy meat for 20 cents, fat and thin." After speaking, it was like making a wish for Chanyue, and looked at her with a smile. Chanyue can see from Ye Lianzi's smile that the little grandma has no great ambitions in her life, and her biggest ideal in life is to raise them even if she has no money.In the past, it was pulling mother, but now it is pulling her, so Gu Qiushui dumped grandma and said, "How do you talk to such a woman who has no ambitions?" Two cents, but also fat and thin. Ye Lianzi steeled the knife on the rim of the crock. The faster the knife was, the thinner the shredded meat would be. The thinner the shredded meat, the meat could be seen everywhere on the plate. There is her homemade pickled potherb mustard in the earthenware vat. First, the potherb mustard cut from the ground is blown in the autumn wind for two days, then gently rubbed with coarse salt, and then put into the earthenware vat.A layer of mustard, a layer of salt, a layer of pepper; another layer of mustard, a layer of salt, a layer of pepper... Stir-fried shredded pork with potherb mustard is the housekeeper of Ye Lianzi. It costs 20 cents for the shredded pork. There are fat and thin parts on each shredded meat. The root of the shredded meat makes Ye Lianzi stir-fry brilliantly. The fat part is crystal clear, and the thin part is red and purple. Dry fragrance. Ye Lianzi can still pick out such thin shreds of meat one by one, and put them on the tip of Zenyue's rice.Later when they had money, Chanyue took Ye Lianzi to a restaurant, and Ye Lianzi ordered stir-fried shredded pork with potherb mustard. The waiter said: "There is no such dish, what are you doing?" Ye Lianzi said: "There used to be." The waiter said: "You are old, what age is it now, and you still order fried shredded pork with potherb mustard. Is this kind of dish worthy? We are a Sino-foreign joint venture." "You can order another dish, order what you like." Zenyue said. Ye Lianzi shook her head, she didn't know how, she knew that fried shredded pork with potherb mustard was the best dish.Let her play it a little bit more, at most she can say - a well-cooked boiled mutton, which was the place Shi Qiao took her to more than half a century ago. When Wu Wei got up early to stand in line at Donglaishun, and Chanyue accompanied Ye Lianzi all the way to Donglaishun, Ye Lianzi said to the table full of seasonings and mutton slices: "This is not the Donglaishun factory back then. Chirp, it's not like she and Shi Qiao were in the same relationship back then. Sometimes, in winter, Zenyue called from a foreign country: "Grandma, do you still pickle potherb mustard?" Ye Lianzi said: "I don't pickle anymore, I can't pickle anymore!" Zenyue is looking forward to the days when the watermelons will be on the market, and the old farmers will drive their horse-drawn carts to transport watermelons to the city. Before dawn, in her dream, she heard the horse walking unhurriedly in the morning light that still left the cool night. Ye Lianzi and Chanyue waited under the carriage unloading watermelons early in the morning, until the sun was high and the old poison was high, and the old farmers had enough to eat, smoke enough, and rest their feet. The melon unloaders stood on the carriage and threw the watermelons down one by one like passing a ball. Their eyes swelled with the watermelons flying around.Sweat flowed freely on Chanyue's small face and Ye Lianzi's old face, it was as hard work as a melon unloader. "Pfft—" The people under the car didn't catch it, and the watermelon fell to the ground and split.The unloaders eat the cracked watermelons first, but when the unloaders can't eat enough, they sell them for twenty cents each.The broken watermelons must be eaten quickly, and they cannot be put away; they cannot afford the watermelons that can be kept. Zenyue likes to hear that "poof". Often, when meeting masters, a cart of watermelons is unloaded without a single "poof".At this time, it was as if something heavy was pressing on Ye Lianzi's forehead, and those creases on her forehead, which were still relatively spacious, were crowded and had nowhere to go. But she will soon cheer up and say, "Let's come back tomorrow." When she comes back tomorrow and can't find such a bargain, she will go to the store and buy a watermelon. At this moment, Chanyue grabbed Ye Lianzi's hand and said, "Grandma, I don't want to eat watermelon, I want popsicles." Popsicles are only five cents a piece, and there are still three cents a piece. Ye Lianzi was different from usual, she refused to accommodate Chanyue at this time, but when paying the money, she always had to count it several times. Ye Lianzi resumed her old business, making fermented bean curd, drying yellow sauce, pickling leek flowers, sprouting bean sprouts, steaming various buns, making all kinds of clothes, cotton shoes, single shoes... everything that one expects to find, so rich and colorful, what else can't be made by oneself? Wu Wei and Chanyue's anticipation for fermented tofu began when Ye Lianzi steamed tofu. The steamed tofu is wrapped in a small quilt to ferment without any heat. After they grow long white hairs, they are put into a small earthen pot, poured with a little inferior white wine, a little pepper, and a lot of salt. Seal it tightly and eat it after a while. No wonder Wu Wei would stop whenever he saw those crock pots and crock pots. After Ye Lianzi passed away, Wu Wei thought that he could make something by following these recipes, but he couldn't make that outstanding taste at all. Ye Lianzi sold Wu Wei's blood behind Wu Wei's back, and she still smiled boldly as if she had established a great cause for thousands of years.The nurses thought, what a decent old lady, why did she come out to sell her blood? In any case, Wu Wei had to buy a coat.The north wind was so sharp that it could cut human flesh. Wu Wei didn't even have a cotton coat for work. He only wore a small cotton jacket, with his shoulders hunched and his body slanted. He trotted in the north wind, freezing like a pinch-tail dog. Five yuan should be saved for Chanyue every month, which is sixty-two yuan a year. When she grows up, she will have five or six hundred yuan. Isn't that a lot of money?Zen Moon can be used where you want, it is considered a coming-of-age gift from her grandma. In order to ensure that Zenyue has a fruit every day, Ye Lianzi went all over the stalls to find the processed fruits.Even if the apple is only the size of a duck egg, even if the apple is rotten in some places, it is much cheaper.The rotten place can be dug out, but it cannot be said that it is a little rotten or as small as a duck egg.It's not an apple. Such apples are bought home and screened again. The larger ones are given to Chanyue or brought to school so that her classmates will not laugh at her shabbyness, and the smaller ones are kept for herself and Wu Wei. In order to save money, they only use light bulbs with low wattage, and the apples are greener and greener under the light with low wattage, and they are so green that they turn black.Even the leaf lotus seeds of those apples that I am sure of are not apples because they are rotten or small like duck eggs. Sometimes I feel that they are not apples, but mines from the movie "Landmine Warfare". Even so, Ye Lianzi still said to Wu Wei in a very low and solemn voice: "You eat." Wu Wei said: "Mom, you eat." His voice was also very low and solemn, as if he was performing a sacred ceremony, and he didn't dare to make mistakes casually.From an early age, she knew that eating was sacred.However, when I got a little money later, I ate casually and lost my reverence for eating. Those apples were neither sour nor sweet, and their taste had either not yet grown, or never would.But they ate the apple slowly, with rare luxury and reverence, content to think they were taking vitamin C. It is a pity that Ye Lianzi is too old, and the hospital does not want her blood.On Zenyue's birthday, Ye Lianzi asked Wu Wei to go to the most exquisite pastry shop to buy a cake for Zenyue.Ye Lianzi didn't go, she felt that she was poor and could not see such a scene.She selected Wu Wei's best clothes, ironed them evenly, and asked Wu Wei to change into them.The people who went to and from that dim sum shop were all rich people, Wu Wei not only couldn't look shabby, but also had to show that he was a frequent visitor to that kind of place. Wu Wei couldn't afford a big birthday cake, so he could only buy a few small cakes, but who could say it wasn't a cake? How unattainable it looks when the waiter pinches the dim sum with tongs instead of yellow, dirty fingers like other store waiters.When a few pieces of cake were put into the white paper box, Wu Wei would feel clean and lifted, and even temporarily forget about poverty. Chanyue insists on sharing it with them, at least one bite per person: "Mom, you eat!" "Grandma, you eat!" They couldn't be more stubborn than Zenyue, so they had to press their lips together.But Chanyue forced the cake into their clenched teeth, and the cake crumbs fell down, which made them feel distressed.They put their palms under their chins, took the cake crumbs, and carefully licked them into their mouths.Those cake crumbs that look like a lot, but feel like a feather in the mouth, with little substance, are smacked by them to taste endless taste. Chanyue was reluctant to chew quickly, for fear that those few small cakes would be chewed up in a while. When Wu Wei and Ye Lianzi looked at Chanyue and Ye Lianzi chomping on the small pieces of cake without blinking, Wu Wei secretly swore that one day, she would let Chanyue and Ye Lianzi enjoy the cake to the fullest. Chew, chew recklessly, as much as you want, as fast as you want.Once Ye Lianzi and Zen Yue passed a small restaurant and saw that the restaurant was processing leftovers, so they said, "Wait, let grandma see." Zenyue said: "No, don't look at it." "How wonderful, what a bowl of vegetables!" Ye Lianzi said.But she couldn't screw Zenyue.And it's a pity to see those proteins or fats can't contribute to Chanyue and Wu Wei. Back home, Ye Lianzi turned around and went out again, those leftovers caught her heart.She bought two bowls, and when she got home, she saw that there were still a lot of meat in them, which was really worth the money!Otherwise, when will he be so cruel to cook braised pork for Zenyue?It's not that they can't afford it, it's just that they can't afford it every year.Regardless of the consequences, what should I do if I can't uncover the pot at the end of the month? What about the blood of the Mohe family?With such poverty, no blood can hold up.尽管她不断地说服自己——这是花钱买的而不是从人家泔水缸里掏来的，心里却清清明明是怎么回事。这时禅月走进厨房，一看叶莲子兴奋的眼神心就凉了，说：“姥姥，您还是买那剩菜去了！”气得小脸煞白，好像叶莲子做了什么丢人现眼的事。可她又不能责怪叶莲子，只好说：“姥姥，我不吃，要吃您自己吃。”说完连饭也没吃就上学去了，她的努力又有什么意思？ 面对那一锅热好的剩菜，叶莲子想，难道她愿意这样吗？掸月还小啊．要是她长大了，有了儿女，又没有钱，眼看着儿女受苦，还会这样清高吗？ 有了这样的生活根基，也就难怪禅月从不张嘴向家里要求什么。 不是投有人用“嫁汉嫁汉，穿衣吃饭”的理论劝说过吴为，为吴为寻找过出路。其中不乏级别相当，也就等同于有了社会保障的干部，还有一位妻子病故、没有子女，新婚姻绝不会受历史婚姻威胁的物理学专家。谁都可以为她们祖孙三代提供一个不再受穷受窘的生存条件，但是吴为不能。为了胡秉宸一场即兴的爱情小品，她不但把自己，也把自己对叶莲子和禅月这一老一小的责任搭了进去。 其实也用不着后悔，说不定他们也会像胡秉宸那样，哪天不高兴了，难免不对吴为大吼一声：“你这个臭婊子！” 伴随穷日子的，只有她对胡秉宸那份无着无落的爱。 后来的后来，她看到美国三四十年代的两部电影，一部由茨威格的小说《一封没有寄出的信》改编，一部叫做……就像当年叶莲子看《江春水向东流》那样，在电影院里哭得死去活来。 实在苦得难熬，就像《一封没有寄出的信》，写一封得不到回信的信：“……这儿有个人走路的样子真像你，不过没有你的神韵……”后来的后来，胡秉宸说：“你有困难为什么不告诉我？如果告诉我，我无论如何都会想办法帮助你。” 她听了之后不但心满意足，也再忆不起那些日子的艰辛。或恍惚中觉得，那样的日子即便有过，也是靠在胡秉宸的肩头一步一步走过来的，更忘记了胡秉宸为洗清自己当众给她的侮辱。 禅月说：“这还用得着您告诉他吗？想都应该想得出来。” 3 凡天底下能省钱的办法，叶莲子都想起来了。直到吴为当了作家，不必再为钱发愁之后，她也不能从这种状态里走出。她是穷怕了。她无时不在思考着日后的出路，连乞丐的讨乞声也渐渐人了心：“行行好吧，太太——小姐一有那剩饭剩菜赏我点儿吧——”有天早晨出去倒垃圾，胡同口就横着一个“倒卧”，不知哪位好心人还给那“倒卧”盖上了半截破席，只露着——双没穿鞋袜、冻得疤疤瘌瘌的脚丫子，脚上糊的泥厚成了泥壳……叶莲子手里的簸箕就咣当一声落在地下，——没准儿有一天她们也会沦落到这步田地。 也听说过舍粥的事，一大早抱上吴为赶到后海广化寺的舍粥棚，不无艳羡地看着那些打粥的人。粥很稠，比她喝的粥可是稠多了。一个小叫花子打完粥，当即捧着破海碗，呼噜呼噜喝个精光。 叶莲于心疼地想：哎哟，那么稠的粥回家对点儿水能对付一天呢，他就这么不惜地全喝了…… 舍粥棚让她感到些许安慰，盘算着到了一钱不剩的时候，不妨到这里来打粥。其实，她和赤贫又有什么不同？不得温饱，没有收入。这时，她听见有人在唱顺口溜：“火车一拉鼻儿，粥棚就开门儿。小孩儿给一点儿，老头儿、老太太给粥皮儿，搽胭脂抹粉的给二盆儿。”看来，打粥的计划怕是还得仔细考虑考虑。有天包家的司机董贵突然来了。叶莲子忙着端凳子、生炉子，说：“这么冷的天还劳您来看我，真过意不去……等我给您烧口热水喝。” 看看这个家徒四壁、没了男人可靠，无比荒凉的家，连撮“高末儿”怕也不会有了，难怪她不说沏茶，只说给他烧口热水喝。怕她难堪，董贵只好找句废句来说：“顾太太，您还好吧？”。 叶莲子说：“谢谢您了，我们娘儿俩还挺好。”声音清清平平，眼里却是群山层叠。跟着两只手划拉了一下，好像泛指身边拥挤不堪，其实除了一张床和一张桌子什么也没有了的家当。 叶莲子是一一二师最贤惠的太太，到了这个地步还好强地撑着，不求人也不诉苦，就连对他也不，他和顾秋水不是哥们儿吗？ 董贵说：“顾太太，包家的人都到天津去了，顾连长又是跟包家人走的，您的日子难得过不去，他们总该有个照应。我家马上也要搬到天津去，以后北平就没有一一二师的人了。顾连长走的时候也托付过我，不知道您愿不愿意跟我们到天津去……总比您一个人孤单单在这里强。” 她用湿漉漉的眼睛望着董贵，说：“真不知怎么谢您。” 董贵就把叶莲子和自己的家眷一起带到天津去了。 叶莲子也在天津河南中国地那个院子里租住了一间房子，和董贵家门对门。每天-开门就能看见董家的人，心里塌实了许多，钱虽然还是没有，可不那么害怕了。 吴为一开始记事就记住了天津河南这个贫民窟，那低洼、潮湿而窄长的院子，与董贵家面对面的那间房子，还有炸蚂蚱的香味。半个多世纪后吴为还能画出那院子的方位、地形。顾秋水说：“一点儿不差。包师长家在租界地，租界地不让进武器，他就把武器卸在天津河南的中国地，一个叫西洼或是东洼的院子里。院子低洼，很窄，我到那里找过人，所以有印象。” 再伟大的天才也不可能记住他一岁时经历的事情，混沌如吴为者却记住了，且记住了一个个要点。如果分析那些要点，就会发现与吴为本人关系并不大，而像冥冥中的什么人，在她那里为叶莲子设置了一个笔记本。自那时起，叶莲子的每一笔苦难，都记在了那个本子上。那厚厚的本子让吴为永生不得安宁，好像不是顾秋水或这个世界欠了叶莲子什么，而是她欠了叶莲子什么。 4 有董贵一家的照应，叶莲子安心多了，可也有了另一个难处。 因为和老董家门对门地住着，董家嫂子随时可以过来串串。 她最怕吃饭的时候让董嫂撞见。“吃了吗？吃的什么？”董嫂常常关心地问。 于是每到吃饭时就插上门，以防董嫂看见她顿顿空口喝棒子面粥，面临揭不开锅的局面。 董家虽然也不富裕，不能像天津人那样喜好美食，不是烙饼熬小鱼就是红烧肉，或是包饺子……可粗茶淡饭还是有的。渐渐地，董嫂还是看出了破绽，有时蒸了白面、玉米面的两面馒头，就让孩子送过来两个。叶莲子总是推说不要，董家人也不说什么，放下馒头就走。 董家人走后，叶莲子就把馒头举在吴为鼻尖前，让她吸吸馒头的甜香，再好好啃上几口，她们已经好久好久没有吃过馒头了。 只有十个月的吴为就知道抱住馒头往叶莲子嘴里送，嘴里还含混不清地说着：“妈，妈——” 叶莲子一把搂住吴为，把头埋进她的怀里，将一串串无声的眼泪擦在她柔软的小肚子上。一个十个月的孩子，怎么就知道这是家里久已没有吃过的美味？怎么就知道让妈妈先吃？ 直到弥留之际，叶莲子还认为她一生中最为幸福的日子，是婚后头两年与顾秋水一起度过的日子。其实在她一生中，最爱她的人是吴为。 再看到董家吃饭，叶莲子门一锁就躲了出去。 她抱着吴为在街上遛呀、遛呀，走过一条条小街，遛过一个个门脸，窥测着那些个小门小户里实实在在的日子—— 哪家的小媳妇出来在货郎担子上买了针头线脑。 那一前一后的一男一女，大概是走亲戚的小两口。谁家的狗？也不看着，踩着她的脚后跟凶叫，吓得吴为哇哇哭；有个男人急煎煎地走在路上，是往家赶吧？家里的人等他吃饭呢，爹妈、老婆孩子什么的；都走过一程了，叶莲子又回过头去望望，看那男人是不是进了哪门哪户…… 过来一个货挑，她有心给吴为买个梨、买个水萝卜或别什么，自打吴为长牙会吃东西以来，什么也没给她买过，——想想就要揭不开锅的日子，又硬着心肠走过去了。 也不知道怎么回事，这个地界那么多货挑，过去一个又来一个，好像她非得给吴为买点什么不可了。 叶莲子叫住一个货挑，那是个能说会道、走街串巷、遍数社会筋脉的小老头儿，一眼就打量出叶莲子的里里外外。 “买点儿什么给孩子，您哪？” 叶莲子含蓄地笑笑，她能买什么给吴为呢？ 看看货挑这头的点心，太贵了；又转过头去看那头的鲜货，太贵了。样样都那么贵，不论买点什么，都赶上买棵白菜了。 小老头儿说：“来点儿饼干吧，这么大孩子正是长牙的时候，吃饼干最合适了。再不就买个水萝卜，您娘儿俩吃。刚长牙的孩子啃啃萝卜也好……”他越说，叶莲子就越不好意思，她指不定买不买呢，不值得这么费劲地招揽。 他越说，叶莲子就越不知该买点什么，越不知该买点什么就越感到窘迫。