Chapter 3 three

Summer vacation passed quickly. It had just rained that evening, and it was suddenly cooler.Water drops are dripping on the banana leaves.Autumn insects (commonly known as earthworms) hum quietly under the rocks at the root of the sycamore tree.Ms. Mei bent down and was taking out textbooks and handouts from a bamboo box that had not touched her fingers for fifty days.A lady was sitting on a wicker chair by the window; the white linen dress had green glass buttons, the socks were light blue, and the leather shoes were yellow; there were a pair of lively eyes on a slightly square face, and the eyebrows were not too thick. , curved slightly with feminine features, but the two curves on the side of the mouth have a masculine respectable and formidable momentum; short black and soft hair is divided in half from the middle, neatly draped on both sides, Covered half of one ear.

This woman is Ms. Mei's good friend Xu Qijun.She shook a paper fan gently in her hand, and sometimes slapped Ms. Mei, who was hunched over the bamboo box, twice. "Did you say I'm getting fatter? Maybe. I'm happy and not bored; It's just that there are times when waiting for your books and letters is dreadful. " Ms. Mei said hurriedly, flipping a stack of mimeographed handouts in her hand. "I'm ashamed to say it. I went shopping all summer, and I haven't read the whole book. My elder brother often said: It's useless to read books by rote. You need to know how to observe with your eyes and think with your brain." After listening to his words, I simply became lazy; talking about it every day is easy to pass. But when I think about it, people with a solid foundation of knowledge don’t need to read rote books anymore; they already know how to use their eyes and brains; Well, then you can’t generalize! May, are you right?”

"Twelve points in favor!" Ms. Mei straightened her back and breathed a sigh of relief. She pushed the bamboo box to the base of the wall with her feet, then walked to Ms. Xu, leaned on the handle of the rattan chair, and looked at Ms. Xu's short-cut black hair. "Sister Qi, how many girls have haircuts in Chongqing?" "Not many. My elder brother insisted that I cut it, so I did. My mother also said it was a pity, and said that coming to Chengdu would make people laugh. Really, Chongqing is more open and newer than here." Xu Qijun stroked her hair subconsciously, looked up at Ms. Mei;

In the embrace of eyes, Ms. Xu smiled and suddenly remembered something. "Just now when I came here, I saw a man. Your Chun'er called him 'uncle'! Mei, is he your fiancé?Why haven't I heard you mention it! " Ms. Mei moved her head, as if to admit, but also to deny. "That Tolstoyist you often talk about, Wei——Wei Yu? Is that him?" "no!" With such a simple answer, Ms. Mei quickly turned her face and looked out of the window; the pair of small buns behind her head flashed in front of Xu Qijun's eyes, sending a burst of rose fragrance. "But, sister Qi, why are you here again? Didn't your eldest brother ask you to go to Nanjing to study?"

Ms. Mei turned around and said, with a slightly uncomfortable tone in her voice. "That's what I said first. Later, my elder brother found out that Yizhou has also changed into a new one this semester; it's fine if I don't want to transfer to another school. Really, Mei, there will be a big reform in the school in the second half of the year; the newly hired teachers are my elder brother's classmates." So the conversation turned to the school.Excited to be the first to speak, the two ladies promised themselves the joy of the upcoming school life.Under the ceiling covered with floral paper in the small room, Ms. Xu's high-pitched laughter and clear Ms. Mei's soft words filled the room.Then suddenly there was silence again, and the two ladies looked at each other with smiles on their lips.

"Mei, is your cousin, Wei—Wei Yu, still in Chengdu?" Ms. Xu returned to the question she had dropped halfway with a hint of curiosity.This time, Ms. Mei's answer was not a simple two-word word; it was probably because the pleasant longing just now had aroused her interest, and she actually gave a general overview of Wei Yu's life experience; although it was just a few ordinary words. In a word, but the air of concern that cannot be concealed has been imprinted into Ms. Xu's consciousness. "Then, who is the 'uncle' in Chun'er's mouth?" Ms. Xu followed up with another sentence straightforwardly.

"This, Sister Qi, this, you will know in the future. I am not as lucky as you. It is hard to say what happened to me! Thinking about it will suffocate people to death. I just don't want to. The future will be discussed in the future; there is a way now, now first Walk." Ms. Mei said with a wry smile, took the paper fan from Ms Xu's hand, and slapped it vigorously on her chest. "Oh! But you've got to have some plans for the future, too!" With such a slight hint, Ms. Xu didn't ask any more questions.The purple at dusk has spread among the banana leaves outside the window, and the singing of grass insects has gradually increased.The two talked for a while, and Ms. Xu said goodbye.

After a moment of bewilderment, Ms. Mei returned to normal.The fantasies that Wei Yu had had in Ms. Mei's mind when she came to bid farewell a month ago had long been shattered; there was no war on his side, and he was still living an ordinary life as a secretary.I also wrote three or four replies, all just to talk about the recent situation and say hello to each other; their common future has no sign of development.Therefore, what Xu Qijun said "there must also be future plans" sounds very empty and far-fetched to Ms. Mei.What "plans for the future" are there?If there is, will it be useful?Ms. Mei has always felt that it is meaningless to dream about the future.She still advocates her "There is a way now, let's go first".

School starts again.This is Mrs May's "now".She accepts this "now" with all her heart.As Xu Qijun said, a new atmosphere has been added to the school.On the first day of school, Ms. Cui, the headmaster with long braided hair, gave a passionate speech: "In the past, when we overthrew the Manchu Qing, the male and female party members worked together. The male revolutionary party threw pistols and bombs, and the female revolutionary party smuggled pistol bombs. Now to transform the Republic of China, it should be the same as overthrowing the Manchu Qing Dynasty, men and women should work together! Now some people call 'women's liberation', but I want to say: women don't want others to liberate, women will fight their own way!" These words are like a A red-hot needle pierced Ms. Mei's heart very happily.Several new teachers also spoke some words one after another, all of which were new and unheard of, and all of them were intoxicating like fine wine.

On the day of class, Ms. Mei was in an awe-inspiring mood.The Chinese teacher was new here, and the handouts he handed out were the vernacular in the "new" word ranking magazine.The history teacher is also new. He took the podium empty-handed and talked about his "social evolution" and "human discoveries".Ms. Mei listened to and read all these with 120% enthusiasm. Within two weeks, the school turned itself upside down.A student union has been established and meets frequently.A new troupe and a weekly mimeograph are also being prepared.Reading novels is no longer a violation of school rules.Moreover, the Chinese teacher also taught novels.A strange and tense atmosphere filled the whole school.

Finally came the "hair cutting movement", which was more than a month later. The air of a haircut was already in the air, but that day it suddenly became a reality.A few of the most active people in the student union cut it first.They rushed to cut other people's.Ms. Mei's pair of buns were also cut off in this way.Laughing, Xu Qijun trimmed Ms. Mei's hair, parted it in the middle, and draped it on both sides. Just as some savage national myths say that hair is the representative of people's happiness, Ms. Mei also caused unexpected troubles from her hair. When my father saw it that night, he just frowned and said she was "too rambunctious". I can't replace my son."But after two or three days, the old doctor's attitude changed.His conversation often turned to Ms. Mei's short hair as soon as he turned around; remarks about gender indiscriminateness and making people laugh were caught in his endless lectures.Ms. Mei could only lower her head and smile.Her father's mouth is broken, she knows it well.What bothered her even more was the bad guys on the street.Going to school and going home every day, there are always some frivolous teenagers following her.At first, he only shouted from a distance: "Look at the female student with a haircut!" Later, he even threw obscenities.There are indeed very few women who cut their hair in the city.Ms. Mei's hair-cutting classmates are all boarding students, and they don't often run on the street; therefore, curious eyes and frivolous tongues are concentrated on Ms. Mei who walks on the street twice a day.Like a guard, there are always four or five salivating young men around Ms. Mei.The whole city knows that there is a "Miss Mei" with a very dazzling haircut, who attracts many men to wait for her on the corner of such and such a street every day. This rumor aroused extreme anxiety in Liu Yuchun and old doctor Mei.After the two had negotiated, one night, Dr. Mei suddenly raised the following words to his daughter: "I want to get your affairs in advance this winter. There are not many days, and you don't have to go to school anymore." Ms. Mei was taken aback.She looked at her father's face and said hesitantly: "You won't be graduating until next summer vacation. Didn't dad agree that you have to wait until after graduation?" "This is the old saying. It doesn't matter whether you graduate or not. Your brother is a graduate of an American university, and his name sounds good. Has the family received half of his benefits?" Old Doctor Mei cursed his son bitterly again.Much like a bankrupt cursing upstarts who owe him old debts and refuse to pay them. "Of course my elder brother's behavior is not good; but parents who study for their children only hope that they will be successful, not lending money." Ms. Mei couldn't help but apply the new ideas she heard recently. "Hmph! Let's talk about it when you become an elder yourself! Now—well, you have been in school for six or seven years, and you don't have to go to school tomorrow!" "I hope Dad remembers what he promised me before!" "The past was the past, and now is the present. Don't imitate your brother and make your father angry." "Why doesn't what Dad said count? It only takes one year! Besides, Dad also said that he would wait for the situation in the Liu family to improve before taking care of my business. Why did Dad change his mind again? The boycott of Japanese goods in Shanghai and Hankou has become even more fierce. There was a lot of trouble here; why didn't Dad think about it carefully?" Old Doctor Mei's expression was hesitant.Finally he conceded and said: "Marriage has not been set yet, and I have no preparations here. Let's put it aside and talk about it later. It's just that you are not allowed to go to school anymore! The words from outsiders are too harsh." "What do you have to say?" "You don't know? It's all because of your nun-like hair!" Ms. Mei couldn't help laughing.Is this the root cause?She has caught the focus of the attack.She euphemistically explained how boring the "rumours" were, and she also said that as long as she boarded at school instead of running around on the street every day, those annoying rumors would naturally disappear.After pondering for a while, Old Doctor Mei agreed to her daughter's request. When Xu Qijun found out the reason for Ms. Mei's sudden change to a boarding student, she began to instigate it in front of Ms. Mei.She offered two pieces of advice to Mrs May: certain goals and future preparations.She strongly criticized Mrs. May's "presentism" as almost "passing along".Ms. May's answer was simply a smile.Speaking of goals, they still had them half a year ago, but recently they feel less and less like them; now she feels that Wei Yu's "non-resistance doctrine" is just an anesthetic for the weak to masturbate.Naturally, she still respects his honest character, and it can be said that she still loves him, but this so-called love can only be said to be the highest degree of sympathy.Wei Yu's recent letters are full of negativity and depression, which makes Ms. Mei very unhappy.She decided that her "first love" had to die in bud.At the same time, when she thought of marrying Liu Yuchun in the future, she felt evil in her heart. However, this was not for "broken love", it was the feeling of being conquered and being a prisoner, which built a high barrier of hatred in her feelings.From the very beginning, she could see that Liu Yuchun could not respect her and love her for her sake; this made her feel a confidant to Wei Yu beyond love. Under such complicated moods, Ms. Mei could hardly tell what her goal was.Therefore, there is no such thing as "preparation for the future".She can only deal with "now" cautiously. The lively atmosphere in the school also left Ms. Mei with no time for daydreaming, and the days passed quickly.The Double Tenth Festival is coming soon, and there will be a play in school.The script had already selected "Nara", but no one was willing to play the important role of Mrs. Linton in the middle.Until the first three days, the female students in the new crew were still trying to blame each other.Ms. Mei didn't join the new crew, but she couldn't help but say beside her: "Old Zhang, you have always been very enthusiastic about acting. Why are you sacrificing your right to be on stage because you don't want to be Mrs. Linton? It's not about acting, what's the point?" "Do everything else, but don't be Mrs. Linton! She fell in love and repented, and became a widow and remarried!" Ms. Zhang said angrily, pouted her mouth high. "Then, you are against Mrs. Linton's behavior. But I think Mrs. Linton is the best in the whole play! She is a woman who is not dominated by love. The first time she left Costa to marry Linton, it was Because Linton was rich and could support her mother and sister, she sacrificed herself for the sake of her mother and sister. She married Costa again for the second time to save Nora. She is such a brave and decisive person people!" "Since you agree with her, please do it!" Ms. Zhang forced a sentence maliciously.Onlookers applauded.Ms. Mei smiled frankly and did not deny it.The matter was thus decided, and Ms. Mei took over the role of Mrs. Linton, and perfunctorily passed the drama of the Double Tenth Festival. Taking this opportunity, Ms. Mei had a thorough research on the play "Nara".She originally admired Nora, but now she feels that Nora is also very ordinary; seeing that her husband only regards her as a "plaything" and is determined to let go of her, is this considered miraculous?She also felt that what Nora possessed was nothing more than the hearts of women for thousands of years; She planned to borrow money from Dr. Lan secretly, but when her teasing game was about to turn into a serious incident, she backed down again. She realized with all her heart that she was a "female", although in order to save others, she still could not "Sex" in exchange.Mrs. Linton, on the other hand, is quite different; she has no difficulty in exchanging "sex" twice for others, and she is a woman who has forgotten that she is a "female"! This kind of opinion took root in Ms. Mei's heart, and gradually grew, affecting her approach to life.Gradually, she regards her "lifetime event" as unimportant, and she is ready to devote herself to a greater future, although the outline of this so-called great future is still very vague. When the winter vacation was approaching, Wei Yu came suddenly.His regiment headquarters suddenly drove back to Chengdu and stationed in Qingyang Palace outside the city.This young man has aged a lot, and his expression is even more worried.She murmured about why she had to get married, and her voice was full of fear that Mrs. Mei would get angry. "Although I don't believe in fate, it seems to be destined to be like this." After hearing Wei Yu's statement, Ms. Mei spoke broadly and smiled again. "So, sister, what's your business?" "Me? I'm also planning to wait for fate's orders. Please rest assured!" After only giving such a simple and vague answer, Ms. Mei's conversation changed direction.She asked about the scenery of Luzhou, and talked about her own school.The joy of her performance made Wei Yu feel strange; he looked at Ms. Mei's smile blankly, and thought to himself: This is no longer the old her; this new her is gradually becoming difficult to understand. Ms. Mei's feelings are just the opposite.She knew the cowardly Wei Yu's psychological contradictions.For this kind of ambivalence that is too kind, she now has the courage to laugh at him, but somehow it arouses unknown melancholy.After Wei Yu left, she went back to her bedroom and lay down sullenly.She vaguely heard her classmates chatting and laughing outside the window, vaguely pointing at the male guest who came just now; she saw Wei Yu's pitiful thin face staring dreamily; she saw Wei Yu wearing the groom's clothes, and she saw herself again Pulled by many people. "Hey, what are you doing hiding in the room?" Xu Qijun's voice suddenly broke the loneliness.Ms. Mei opened her eyes to take a look, and then closed them again: intermittent phantoms still moved through her closed eyes, and she was led from the wedding hall to the new house in a trance, with the heads of many spectators and acquaintances She and the stranger both had looks of "it's a pity". In the end, Liu Yuchun pounced on her like a beast... She trembled suddenly, and the illusion dissipated immediately, but she clearly felt that she was being crushed. Under a warm body, she opened her eyes suddenly, and saw that the body on her chest was Ms. Xu Qijun, and she was grinning secretly. "I want to come, you are dreaming during the day!" Ms. Xu said with a smile, but her eyes were quite serious. Seeing that Ms. Mei blushed and turned her head to the side without answering, she asked again: "The guest has gone? What's the matter? If you didn't report to your sister first, but hid in the bed and lost consciousness, you should be punished! What? Hurry up and make a new confession!" "Things? It's very simple. Wei Yu came back to get married. Everything is according to the usual arrangement, which is very reasonable and good, and there is no accident." As if talking about other people's affairs, Ms. Mei's tone was surprisingly serene. "So, you, what are you going to do?" "Naturally, I plan to follow the usual arrangement, and there is no accident." "You, that is to say, are you going to marry someone surnamed Liu?" The answer is a faint smile. Xu Qijun stood up, sat down on the edge of the bed, looked at Ms. Mei and sighed.The sigh was indignant and regretful at the same time.So Ms. Mei felt compelled to say a few words: "I see no reason not to marry—" "But you have no reason to marry him! Besides, didn't you say you didn't love him?" Xu Qijun cut off Ms. Mei's words with an angry voice, stood up and took two steps in the room, then turned her head to look at Ms. Mei's face, as if waiting for a final reply. "Do you think it is an unforgivable sin for a woman to marry someone she doesn't love? Can't she get divorced after getting married? Do you admit the old chastity concept of 'single life'?" Ms. Mei's expression was still very peaceful; but when she saw Ms. Xu shaking her head disapprovingly, she became a little excited, and she continued hastily: "Please don't suspect that I am greedy for other people's money! Let me tell you the truth, sister Qi, my father's goal is money, and people also use money to lure him. I can forgive my father's difficulties, but I cannot forgive his dependence. The man with the power of money! I want to teach him "loss of money and wealth", and I want to teach him a lesson! You think that if you get married, you will enter the cage yourself, but I am not afraid! I want to go into the cage to have a look, and then Type it out again!" "Oh that, you think well, I'm afraid it won't work in reality! Besides, it's too much sacrifice of personal free will. I didn't expect you to become a filial daughter in ancient times—a filial daughter who sold herself to save her father!" "Maybe I can't break the traditional father-daughter relationship, but I believe my actions are really based on my free will!" Madam Mei said confidently, jumping up from the bed. "In any case, I don't approve of sacrificing love for any purpose." "No love is sacrificed by me!" After hearing this unexpected answer, Ms. Xu's eyes widened in surprise.She looked at Ms. Mei's tight lips and beautiful eyes, and said hesitantly: "Just now - that person - I feel sorry for him!" Ms. Mei smiled flatly.She walked up to Xu Qijun, grabbed her hand, smiled and said softly: "Didn't I already say that? He's coming back to get married. He's a non-resistanceist. He's decided to obey fate long ago, and he also persuaded me to obey fate." There was a momentary silence, and the two women looked at each other for a few minutes.Then Ms. Xu said solemnly: "Mei, you have to be careful that your own plan has also become non-resistance. Don't underestimate that cage. If Wei really loves you, and you love him, then you should pull out his non-resistance , you find a way out together. You shouldn’t just sit back and watch him sink into the pit of suicide without resistance!” The earnest tone of these few words moved Ms. Mei very much; before she could answer, a classmate ran in, and the conversation could not continue. The second debate on this issue started again after going to bed at night.Closer pairs of female students mostly sleep in the same bed, and Ms. Mei and Ms. Xu are no exception.Under the cover of darkness the conversation of the two ladies grew freer and bolder.Ms. Mei gradually revealed all the twists and turns in the past, so Ms. Xu also had to admit: "According to what you said, Wei Yu regards the loss of love as a pleasure. No, it can't be considered a love loss. It's very strange. But if he sees that you really married someone named Liu, won't he feel sad?" Ms. Mei laughed, but did not answer. "Such a cowardly and persistent person makes people look depressed! But it is also this kind of person who often commits tragedies, such as committing suicide. Mei, you have to be careful not to invisibly kill a life." Ms. Xu reasoned casually while stroking Ms. Mei's face with her hand.She suddenly giggled, put her mouth next to Ms. Mei's ear, and asked in a low voice: "If it's not me who is sleeping next to you at this moment, but the one surnamed Liu, what will you do? How can you not be a prisoner?" "What should we do? We'll decide then." "At that time, you will not be allowed to decide, you have already lost your freedom!" "At that time I must be the master. I don't believe I can't deal with a vulgar thing." "But vulgar things can be very violent sometimes!" "There is always a way to prevent him from being violent. Besides, as long as he is willing to obey my conditions within my limits, he will achieve his goal. What's the point? We have broken the old concept of chastity long ago, haven't we?" Ms. Xu hissed and remained silent; she didn't expect her female partner to have such intentions. She felt that she couldn't agree with such a view, but she couldn't think of an appropriate refutation.Stop, she turned around and asked with a sarcasm: "Your scope, your conditions, should we decide then?" "Perhaps. But the principle can be settled now: make him my prisoner!" While speaking, Ms. Mei stretched out her arms to hug Ms. Xu, and laughed easily. "Unexpectedly, you are an ambitious man who only cares about the end and does not care about the means, heroine." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Ms. Xu laughed wildly and was out of breath; Ms. Mei's armpit, which she was most afraid of being touched, had already been hacked into half of her hand.So laughter and refusal replaced low whispers, scattered in the quiet four-bed room.Although there are four couch seats, as usual, two of them are empty; the two couchees on the other bed, who were chattering at this time, laughed and shouted loudly: "Beloved, be quiet! Don't let the dormitory supervisor interfere!" Ms. Xu struggled to drive away half of the attacking hand, turned over, tightened her arms vigilantly, said "don't mess with me again", and pretended to be snoring; after a while, she really fell asleep up.Messy thoughts surrounded Ms. Mei, and she couldn't sleep for a long time. What is the future of Wei Yu?Will it be a tragedy?This new question raised by Ms. Xu gradually and persistently weighed on Ms. Mei's mind.When sitting alone and reading a book, she often saw Wei Yu's thin and pale cheeks, and gentle questioning eyes, protruding from the cracks in the words.She was surprised that she suddenly became nervous, but she couldn't relieve the heavy pressure on her soul.She carefully reviewed Wei Yu's attitude towards her from the beginning to the present, and she recalled the trivial things of the two of them studying together in the family school when they were young. She admitted that the deep love had already cemented the two of them into one body, but now , Wei Yu seems to have run away!It seems that a soldier who does not want to fight passively resists by committing suicide!Naturally, Wei Yu's motivation for this behavior was to take care of her "happiness", but it also made Ms. Mei feel more responsible for her conscience.Surrounded by depression, she hated Wei Yu; she finally wrote a letter, angrily criticizing Wei Yu's inappropriate opinions like a strict father scolding a hopeless son. The answer was a sad meeting.Wei Yu defended himself with trembling voices and prayed for Ms. Mei's future; he repeated that as long as Ms. Mei had him in her heart, he would be most satisfied. He extremely denied the word "suicide"; but he also mentioned his lung disease several times in succession. After class ended that day, Ms. Mei said to Xu Qijun: "If what I experience is the 'distress in love', then the cause of the distress is not that someone stops our love, but that we have no way to realize our love; Wei Yu, I don't know how to criticize him; Sometimes I hate him, but I pity him, love him, and respect him. Perhaps it is a man like him who can make a woman suffer the most! He said he has a lung disease, and I think it would be better for him to die sooner!" She sighed again, lowered her head, and suddenly shed two tears.It was the first time for her to shed tears for this matter, so Ms. Xu Qijun was also surprised.But when Ms. Mei looked up, she smiled again.She took Ms. Xu's arm and ran to the playground to watch the game. Then came the exam again.extended to two weeks.After the Chinese exam, Ms. Mei found time to go home, only to find out that Wei Yu suddenly vomited blood on the day of her wedding and had been lying in bed for three days.According to the little girl Chun'er, Wei Yu, who was in a coma, once called Ms. Mei by her name. Ms. Mei's heart skipped a beat, remembering Xu Qijun's prophecy.She was going to visit, but after thinking twice, she went back to school and barely passed the exam.She told Ms. Xu the news and discussed ways, but could not reach a conclusion. The short winter vacation passed in a very deep and stuffy air.Xu Qijun's absence made Ms. Mei feel a little lonely, but the news from Wei Yu always made her feel unhappy.After getting married, Wei Yu's temperament changed completely; every day, except for mechanical office work, he would sit or lie down with his eyes wide open. aroused his rage.His diet dwindled day by day, his face turned livid; his eyes lost the gentle smile and became dull and sad like death.He often stood in a trance in the cold wind or in the freezing rain of snow; he didn't add any clothes when he was cold, and he didn't take off his clothes when he was hot.He is killing himself slowly. He often closed the door and wrote something, but after finishing writing, he smiled wryly, then tore it up and burned it. When these situations were successively spread to Ms. Mei's ears in the form of "talking aid" by a third party, she was at a loss for a long time, unable to read any books.She also found an opportunity to meet Wei Yu and asked him about the situation, but Wei Yu denied it, saying that it was an exaggerated rumor made by a troublemaker. After the spring term started, the "new trend of thinking" became more intense in all schools, and it was reflected in the real life of the society.Dr. Hu's slogan of "do more research, talk less about doctrine" has become a buzzword from time to time.Ms. Mei felt that Wei Yu had also been poisoned by "ism", not resistanceism.However, when she wanted to study this matter of herself as a problem, she was lost in the great immersion of contradictions.She didn't know which way to turn.She blamed her own lack of knowledge.She wanted to swallow all the new thoughts more fervently, and she decided not to let that practical question bother her. New publications are now everywhere.Individualism, humanitarianism, socialism, anarchism, all kinds of conflicting ideas are often found in the same magazine and are equally enthusiastically promoted.Ms. Mei also accepted it without discrimination.The words attacking traditional ideas gave her pleasure, the words advocating individual rights also excited her, and the appointment tickets describing the happiness of the future society made her very intoxicated.Under the torrent of these white-hot new thoughts, she gradually alleviated her worries about Wei Yu, and also forgot her own unresolved problems. After a few months of living in an empty ideal, finally the vicious reality knocked at the door of Ms. Mei's life again.Her father told her that the wedding date had been set in September. It's finally here!Mrs May was not surprised.She had already thought about the way to deal with it; she was very willing to let her father take this opportunity to pay off the debts accumulated over the years, and she was confident that she had a way to subdue that philistine.But, but, a new concern on the other hand wavered her opinion a little for a moment.On this point, Ms. Xu Qijun's lively reasoning is very sensational. "I have always disapproved of your approach. From your own side, your risk, which is almost a joke, is really unnecessary; from your related side, you may cause trouble! You forget the innocence. Resistanceist? Isn’t he very depressed, similar to slow suicide? This proves that he really can’t forget you. So your marriage may be his death sentence! You admit that you love him, but in fact you are the one who killed him. Kill him!" Leaning by a willow tree at the corner of the playground, Ms. Xu said coldly, her eyes shot into Ms. Mei's face. "But he's already killing himself slowly. He's determined to do it." Ms. Mei reluctantly argued, but at the same time sighed.She stared blankly at the air, and added bitterly: "I set my heart on trying to do something useful to others, but the result is the opposite; am I such a harmful and useless monster!" The consciousness of responsibility in life shook Ms. Mei's whole heart like lightning.She suddenly hugged Ms. Xu, leaned her head on her shoulder, and cried very sadly.But her Congolese nature was immediately reflected in her sorrow, and she cut off Ms. Xu's whispered reassurance, raised her head and said: "That aspect seems to be irreparable. I decided to pay off the debt for my father first!" "This, you mean, or do you plan to go into the cage and take a risk?" Ms. Xu asked in disbelief. "Yes, this is the final decision. There are several levels of cages, and I'm not afraid of wicker cages! Don't talk about these annoying things anymore. Sister Qi, tell me about your plans after graduation!" Ms. May returned to brisk normalcy and turned the conversation around.The two of them are graduating now, and Ms. Xu naturally still has to study. What she is hesitating about now is what school to go to after graduation. "Me? I don't have any big plans. My elder brother wants me to go to Beijing, saying that Peking University is going to open the female ban. What my mother thinks is that Beijing is too far away. Although my elder brother is there, he will graduate next year. Or go to Nanjing. There are a few relatives in Nanjing. But there are no good schools in Nanjing. What do you think is a good place?" Ms. Xu spoke slowly, reached out to grab a willow stick and broke it, showing an air of extreme difficulty. "Anywhere is fine, as long as it's not Sichuan." Ms. Mei answered bluntly.A new feeling flashed across her mind; she felt that a person like Xu Qijun, who was in a smooth environment, still had a lot of hesitation; there were several bright roads in front of her, and she had to choose the best one. They only want to arrange their lives as close as possible to their ideals. Compared with people who have only one road full of thorns to walk, the difference is really too far.Thinking of this, Ms. Mei's nose felt sour, and the resolute spirit she had just now had unknowingly withered a lot.She smiled wryly and added: "It's just that if we want to get together sooner or later like now, I'm afraid we won't be able to!" "I will definitely come back to Sichuan to see you during the summer vacation." Ms. Xu comforted her sincerely; it seemed that she was already in some school in Beijing or Nanjing. Ms. Mei glanced at her female companion and smiled with her lips pursed. Ms. Mei thought about it for a long time that night.She wondered how the inevitable September trick would play out, how she would get out, what excuses she would use to get out, and how she would live after she got out; the more she thought about it, the more vague and uncertain she felt.There were too few materials for her to speculate, and she had no way to draw conclusions.In the end, it was the magic weapon of "Let's talk about it in the future", which overturned all fantasies. A confident sneer appeared on the corner of her mouth, and she fell asleep.