Chapter 7 The third part is walking towards heaven.2

48 Words belong to words, and rural society is not the land where Mei can take root.The prosperity of the city is a novelty for the rural people, but it cannot make them forget the queen who gave birth to him.As for Mei, it's the same reasoning.The scenery in March is beautiful and charming.The sky is high and the land is wide, the water is green and the mountain is daisy, the young leaves and branches, peach red and plum white.On the way to Laojunmiao Primary School, the green grass is covered with wild flowers, exuding a strong breath that makes people choke.Walking on the road, Teacher Zhang said, so fast, it's spring again.Mei, however, remained silent, looking at the geese and Xiaoyan flying back from the hillside, with a touch of sadness written on her face.It goes without saying that I love home in my heart.After all, although his family is poor, he grew up in an urban family, and he is more sentimental about the changes in nature than rural people.After staying in this foreign country for more than ten years, a letter from home can be sent from Zhengzhou to the county in two days.It takes less than a hundred miles from the county seat to Zhangjiaying, but it takes a week.During the rainy and snowy season, it is not uncommon for letters received at the beginning of last month to be barely received at the end of this month.She often said that one day when her father died of illness, a Class A telegram was sent from the modern post and telecommunications building. By the time I received the telegram, ten days had passed.When I rushed back with the telegram, my father's ashes were also cold for many days.Fortunately, nothing of the sort happened.It's just that every time I think about it, I ended my life in Zhangjiaying. Although I have a good husband and children, I still can't get rid of her feeling of being unaccompanied, a kind of nostalgia for her life experience, and the cold winter wind blowing through her heart.I don't know if those students who have returned to the city will have an ordinary life in the past few years.Sometimes, she thinks, how can it be said that it is not a good thing for me to stay in the country?But sometimes, I doubt that I can't resist loneliness. I didn't get married a few years ago and didn't have children.Even if I am the last educated youth returning to the city in the whole country, how do I know that there is no other life?If you don't have a job, you can do some odd jobs.If there is no room to live in, don’t there be educated youths who put up beds in the resettlement offices and sub-district offices for educated youths?

But thinking about it is just thinking about it.When I saw the novels "There's a Snowstorm Tonight", "This is a Magical Land" and "My Remote Qingping Bay" by the educated youths, almost everyone shed tears, it was already many years after the novels were published.When the educated youth get together, they are not happy to recall the past, they just ask you where you work and whether you are married.The other party doesn't speak, or shakes his head, even these things don't need to be asked, let alone talk about novels or something.Mei was able to see these few magazines without covers, and she saw them at the home of a classmate who was learning to write novels when she returned home during the Spring Festival in 1986.I borrowed it and brought it back to Zhangjiaying, studied it carefully, and still shed many tears.I recommended it to Mr. Zhang. Mr. Zhang was also fascinated. He read it together with a few other educated youth novels. The husband and wife were lying on the bed.

"That "My Distant Qingping Bay" is better." I asked what was good about it, and I replied that the writer Shi Tiesheng still understood peasants.Mei didn't feel that way.Mei said that "A Snowstorm Tonight" was better, but Mr. Zhang didn't agree.Thinking about it carefully, the disagreement between Mei and Mr. Zhang was not later, at least it had already begun.It's just that the warmth of the rural family and the isolation of the rural society overwhelmed their differences.Even when it came to breaking up later, although Mr. Zhang expected it, he still felt sudden.Even Mei harbored deep guilt for her decision, feeling that when she was still young, she didn't think much about leaving.But at the age of no doubt, he abandoned his wife and husband, so resolutely, whether it was because of this society or because of himself, he couldn't explain at all.

In the next few years, Teacher Zhang and Mei went to the county for a meeting and bought a copy of "Sangshuping Chronicle". The newspaper said it was a new development of educated youth literature.Later, many changes took place in the society, and no one cared about reading novels and arguing about literature. March in Yangchun is a season that does not allow people to be silent for a long time.The fragrance of flowers rushes into your throat, and even your sneeze has a pink fragrance.The sun splashed on the path, and they made the sound of rushing water.At this time, Teacher Zhang was not ignorant of Mei's thoughts.When approaching the school, Teacher Zhang stood at the gate of the school and said something unexpected about Mei's plan.

"I want to study." "What do you study for?" Teacher Zhang said that we live in a remote place, and the public food can be handed over to the county, but the county's documents cannot go to the countryside.It is said that Laojunmiao Primary School does not know, but the senior high school students have already finished their exams.It is the turn of those who are not the third class but are private teachers, the age is relaxed by three years, and the score line is also appropriately lowered.It is said that more than a dozen private teachers passed the exam in the whole county last year.The news made Mei excited, but also deeply regretful that Teacher Zhang failed to pass the exam last year.

After that, the couple started a long life struggle with new expectations.When sleeping in the middle of the night, Mei would often lie in her husband's ear and say, I have a high school classmate who works in the provincial education committee. As long as you can be admitted to the teacher training school, he can put you in the ranks of unified distribution.In this way, I return to the city, you enter the city, everything will be fine.On Mr. Zhang's side, there is absolutely no intention of entering the city.The so-called examination is just to inject new vitality into this strange family.Change the composition of the family structure. It cannot always be that the woman is a public teacher and the man is a private teacher.The woman gets the national salary, and the man gets the work points in the team.Ranmei said it lying on top of him, so it's not easy to spoil her interest, and at the end of the sentence, she can't forget to repeat it, not for us, but for the child.Our whole family went to the provincial capital, and we also took my mother there to see the outside world and enjoy a few years of happiness.

After talking too much, Mr. Zhang was also encouraged by his wife.Re-find the books that were thrown around, starting from the one-dimensional quadratic equation in junior high school, to the overview of advanced mathematics in high school.The school courses are easy to use, and when it is urgent, Mei will substitute for all the lessons.In order for the son to seek a future, the mother naturally has to take care of the housework.The two women kept Teacher Zhang's time loose. They had to sit down and review for several hours every day. Before the exam, they often stayed up all night without sleep. .It's a pity that in the past three years, he has been on the list year after year, but he finally failed to enter that teacher's college.Mei also had no choice but to sigh and cry bitterly, and finally left Zhangjiaying helplessly.

49 It cannot be said that Mei left Zhangjiaying because Teacher Zhang did not enter the Teachers College.After all, there is no snobbish vulgar blood flowing in Mei. If she is not a bit noble, she will definitely not marry a farmer. A well-to-do family with money, power, and high-level household registration is actually easy.Mei's departure, from the perspective of fairness, was inevitable.According to statistics in 1990, the sent-down educated youths from the provincial capitals, including a small number of those who got married in the countryside and those who had no choice but to return to the city, by the end of the year, except for Mei, had all moved back to their hometowns through various means.In the end, those who had no choice but to return to the city had to pay the price of marriage.It is said that the marriage change in one year is far above three digits.So what can Mei do?But then again, if Mr. Zhang enters the Teachers College, the ending may be gratifying.

In the first year, Mr. Zhang crossed the admission score line. People in the education field said: Anyone who passed the line could be admitted, so they were ecstatic and waited for the good news in Zhangjiaying.However, from the end of summer to the middle of autumn, the nephews of the village chiefs who have not crossed the line have already carried their luggage and embarked on the journey, but Mei and Teacher Zhang finally did not receive a single notice.After leaving the examination room in the second year, Mei and Mr. Zhang took turns living in individual hotels in the county.A month passed slowly, and the score came down, saying that Mr. Zhang missed the mark by 0.5 points.But this year, it is true that all those who crossed the line held their heads high.After returning home from the county seat, Teacher Zhang fell asleep for three days. Mei put the steamed rice in front of the bed. Teacher Zhang looked at her thin face and slapped herself several times. Mei said that for the sake of this family, don’t be discouraged. Take the exam next year.But five months later, the principal of Laojunmiao Primary School came back from a meeting in the county seat and said that it was not that Teacher Zhang’s score had not crossed the line, but that the score statistician had wrongly written 329.5 as 379.5. When it was found that 50 points were missed, the time for enrollment had passed.The difference of one word has become the hatred of the ages.The third year is expected to be admitted, and it has been worthwhile to work hard for several years, and the score is far ahead of the county's civilian teachers.But when the notice was issued, there was still no blank paper in Laojunmiao Primary School in Zhangjiaying.

As of today, it is tolerable, what is unbearable.Both husband and wife are determined to go to the relevant departments to find out the truth. Relevant departments gave a very clear answer. The focus of this year's admissions is to take care of those prefectural and county-level model teachers.The scenery of the county town does not have the warmth of the countryside.So far, Mr. Zhang is lying on the bed, passing through the darkness, and can still see one after another indifferent faces in that office.The red-headed documents were placed on the table, and the bright and clean windows cast a layer of gold on those faces.Ask why Laojunmiao Primary School did not review model education?Answer and ask your commune.On the eighty-mile mountain road, Mei spent a day of ups and downs. The comrades in the commune's education team replied to her, saying that a commune is assigned a model teaching quota every year, and it has not yet Laojunmiao's turn.Mei said that Mr. Zhang has been in the mountainous primary school for twenty years at a stretch, working hard and going through all kinds of hardships. Can Feilun not judge?The answer is that rural education is like this. Let alone twenty years, there are still more than ten years in the whole commune of thirty years.Back in the county town, Mei also suddenly understood that the Laojun Temple was too remote and narrow, and the rural society there exuded too much earthy fragrance.The outside world is no longer what it used to be.After being pointed out by others, Fang realized that he should bring something to the relevant leader's house for a sit-down.At night, a couple, trembling, discussed again and again, feeling that the future is important and it is worth spending a sum of money.I bought two bottles of the best wine, two of the best cigarettes, a bag of fruit and other items, but how did I know that the leader is really good, saying that you think I am not a member of the Communist Party of China?Let me abandon the principles of the party?With all the talk, the leader can only sigh with his companions.Coming out of the leader's house, I met Teacher Zhang's high school classmates, opened their gift bags, pointed to Mei's nose and said, "It's understandable for him to be stupid and corrupt, and rural people don't stay out of the mountains for a long time."But why doesn't your family even give gifts in the city? What year is it now?Reform and opening up, invigorate the economy, give gifts and give this.Not to mention others, even if I am the leader, I don't accept this thing as a gift, it's only worth a hundred or so yuan.Such a big matter is related to the fate of your family, how can you get it without five hundred dollars!

Borrowing a county town, the night is like an empty valley. Teacher Zhang and Mei are stunned on the street, like passers-by who are lost in the valley.Those things have already spent all their savings.When they were in Zhangjiaying, the family had oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar, and they didn't feel financially constrained. Only now did they realize how narrow their vision is, how old-fashioned their conduct is, and how dull their days are.There is no money to go back to the hotel, and it is impossible to sell the things in hand.May said what to do? Mr. Zhang said back, so what if he farmed all his life. Let me tell you, I really know where we are going. Walking back to Zhangjiaying in the dark, we were silent all the way.The road of tens of miles is a thought from Beijing to Nanjing, long and long, heavy and heavy.Mei finally understood that the three-year hope was shattered in one day.The loneliness of being alone and helpless came to my heart for no reason.At dawn, I set foot on a narrow path that was not yet open to traffic. When I came here, I was driven by hope, and I ignored the scenery of many mountain villages. Now I can see the original village here through the fragrant white morning light, which is beyond the reach of Zhangjiaying. match.One after another, new houses rose from the ground.And the tile-roofed house that Mei is proud of in Zhangjiaying, although it is the only one in the village, compared with this place, it also shows its embarrassment.At first, I thought that the countryside will always be the countryside, peaceful and harmonious.Now it seems that changes are also silent.The land contract is just a signal from the dawn of heaven.And only the mountains like Zhangjiaying can remain unchanged forever.There was a girl from the village who got up early and was on her way, wearing a red wool trench coat exactly like the people in the city, swirling past them like a ball of fire.Mei was not moved by Fang Yiyi, but the feeling of being degraded once again soaked her wandering thin heart, and it seemed that from the fire-like windbreaker, she had a little taste of the true meaning of life. Walking up a mountain ridge, Teacher Zhang asked what you were thinking. She said that I felt very tired in the past few years, and suddenly wanted to go back to the city to have a look.Teacher Zhang knew that she was indeed very tired, and there were constant letters from her family saying that her younger brother had started going to sea, and the business was booming, asking how the situation in the village was.She always replies in three short words, saying that the country is still the same, and the baby's father is expected to take the exam, and everything will turn around at that time.But at that time, the day I looked forward to today is nothing more than greater loneliness.Mr. Zhang said you should go back. It’s been three years and it’s time to go back. Just take these cigarettes and alcohol back home. I think your dad will definitely not refuse to accept them. 50 wake up. I don't know when I fell asleep again.Is it snow light or moonlight, walking back and forth on the window, and it seems that the window is moving back and forth in that light.People are so tired that they have just returned from the gate of hell.Huang kicked his legs under the warm quilt, but did not reach the head of the bed. Turning over, he saw Huang standing under the bed.It was able to stand up on its hind legs.I couldn't find any energy from my body, so I pulled my arms out of the bed and waved to Huang. Huang can walk.Its front legs were half-standing and half-stretching, and its hind legs were half-stretching and half-stretching. It was able to slowly move its old and thin body, swayed to the bed, and licked his fingers tenderly and affectionately. It's a pity that the person is not Huang. He kept stroking Huang's head. It is indeed a pity that people are not as good as Huang. In autumn, the leaves are falling and the ground is full of yellow wind. From morning to night, there is the cold air of early winter.On that day, at the 100-day memorial ceremony for his son, Teacher Zhang rallied and went to the primary school to pick up the schoolwork that had been suspended. He taught Chinese and mathematics for a long time, and sat at the school gate after school to rest and think. Along the way, words were companions, and when I arrived at the village, I saw my mother looking at the door from afar. It was such a warm family, but in a blink of an eye, the sky fell and the earth fell into disaster.At those moments, he had already begun to turn some dead thoughts.The golden light of the thought of death illuminates many futures, as if the gold diggers have dug out a treasure mountain, and they often follow that thought into the treasure mountain to dig.While being fascinated by the thought, I saw a group of villagers chasing a dog on the opposite mountain ridge.People are tired of running and keep falling behind one by one. When they climbed a slope, people stopped chasing.In the mountains and fields at the end of autumn, you can listen to the dripping water from afar.Except for the occasional black cry of crows, there is no other sound.Sitting, as if hearing someone swearing under him, saying damn it, this dog meat is too much to eat, and I have never seen such a hardworking animal.There are also people panting, full of the sound of sweat dripping.Sitting on the hill in front of the school, leaning against the red persimmon trees, I know that the villagers who beat the dogs are washing their hands at the hill, and the white and bright stream flows into my ears.The beam on the opposite side is much lower than the hillock at the foot, let the eyes jump over a narrow ditch, and the scenery on the beam can be seen faintly.The sun is bright and clear on the opposite side.The beams were yellow in the daylight, illuminated by vague reflections.The escaped dog looked like a fox on the back of its spine, with its thin and long tail tucked between its hind legs. It stood there looking around in surprise, its gaze set on the primary school, and remained motionless for a long time.The students after school had already disappeared on the mountain, and the school gate was tightly closed.After a while, the dog suddenly turned half its body, and saw very clearly that something had been inserted into the dog's belly, a long handle was hanging from its belly, and the other end was on the ground.It seems that I can still see the blood flowing along the handle like a mountain spring.The blood soaked into a dark red stream in the dark yellow.Chanting on the beam.Because there is too much dust, it can't flow far.The final appearance is like a waterless channel formed by a child urinating on the ground, with shallow grooves washed out in the middle, and two parallel dams formed on both sides.The blood that didn't flow out smoothly stuck the fur under the dog's belly into pinches and fell to the ground with a tick, leaving a little rain trace on the beam; the rain is the sun rain in June in summer, not seen The sky was cloudy, but there was a burst of rain, leaving a round dimple on the ground afterwards.A careful look at the dog on the beam reveals many novelties.The Xuanhuang on the beam was stained by blood to the color of the setting sun, but after looking at it, the dog turned and left. In the direction of Zhangjiaying. After being stunned, he hurriedly crossed the ditch in front of him.The dog chasers have gone.The water on the bank of the stream left traces of their washing their hands and faces.Climbing to the mountain ridge, I saw the conjectured blood marks on the ridge, and towards the direction of Zhangjiaying, there were intermittent blood drops along the way, like a row of red flowers falling along the road.After chasing the flowers, I came to a corner and saw a three-pronged dung fork lying on the side of the road. The handle of the fork was full of undried blood, and one of the three iron tines still had jujube hanging on it. A piece of red meat.On the edge of the fork, there was a puddle of blood that was splashed with water, exuding a strong and damp smell.Standing by the blood stall for a while, I couldn't care less, and hurriedly chased towards the village. The footsteps are hurried, as if chasing a flying ghost. Sure enough, the bloodstains entered Zhangjiaying.I have never been in such a hurry, I have never been in such an eager pace. When I rushed home, I saw Huang lying in the middle of the courtyard, with scorched eyes, looking at the gate facing south. At that time, my mother was already paralyzed on the bed. Looking back. Huang was in the courtyard, like a child who was sick and couldn’t find his family. When he came back, he hurriedly stood up, with three strings of white, bright and curved intestines hanging from his stomach. There was a big pocket in the middle , linked together, as if placed in a net bag, dragging the ground. There are three large and small intestines, one side is covered with soil and firewood, and the other side is fresh and clean. The thin fat is as white as snow. It slowly walks towards its owner Go, the three hanging intestines swayed back and forth, spilling blood on the ground. The yard was overflowing with its red breath. That's right.I stood still in shock. Huang came silently, with his tail between his legs.On the raised head, there are still two pieces of eye droppings from the corners of the eyes.It came over as usual, stretched out its moist thin tongue, and licked the drooping dumb right hand one after another.When he came, a dried jujube thorn used as firewood hung loosely on the intestines, drawing many small marks on the ground. After Ling woke up, he desperately washed the three hanging intestines with warm water to remove the floating soil and grass sticks, stuffed the intestines back along the three blood holes in his stomach, and sewed up the wound with the white thread from the sole of his shoe. .When I went outside to pour the red water for washing the intestines, I saw the elder brother of the village head coming out of the clinic looking for the dung fork that his family had lost. 51 I remembered what the dog beater said, saying that Ji Sheng's life is hard work. He stroked Huang's head.Is it snow or moonlight, walking back and forth on the window.It was so cold that the outstretched arms seemed to be soaked in ice water.Maybe it's the windows moving back and forth in that light.Huang, don't move around, don't support yourself on your hind legs.Sit back and relax on your hind legs.Look, you're still moving.The gauze wrapped by the village chief's brother is about to fall off.Don't move, don't move you.The elder brother of the village chief loves to eat dog meat, and when the weather is cold, the addiction will come up, like a cigarette addiction.Yes, just sit like this.Does your hind leg hurt?The lower limbs of the hind legs had already been eaten by him.I must have eaten it.It must have been last night before going to bed, and drank meat soup.Huang, you ran so fast, you overtook the rabbit, and you helped the fourth uncle of the shepherd kill the yellow wolf. Why didn't you bite the village chief's brother?Afraid of him?Afraid that he is the elder brother of the village chief?Or a dung fork with three teeth?The three scars under the stomach are round and bright, light red, really like three copper coins.That's right, you lie down like this.Stop licking my hands.Can't it snow yet?The air seemed bluish white.The wind squeezed in through the crack of the door one by one, like a cracking horsewhip.Or put your arms on the bed.How did he become a doctor? He was originally a dancer.But it's true that he knows how to prick silver needles.He has stunned people and healed illnesses.If you get sick in Zhangjiaying, you can only go to him.Headache and brain fever, he also cured the disease with his hands.Of course, there are also people who treat lung disease as a cold. After all, there are not many, only one and a half a year.There are also people who are misdiagnosed and die, less often, there will be two in three years, and sometimes only one in three years.The village head gave him a license to practice medicine.That's the right doctor.He has to eat several dogs a year, Huang, you have to be careful, don't fall into his hands again.If you fall in again, don't even think about dragging the dung fork to escape.The reform and opening up gave him a license to practice medicine. He is a doctor who specializes in killing dogs for food.I think you are doomed this winter Huang.No more hind legs.what sound?rustling.The light on the window covered the gauze.It seems to be still snowing.Huang, are you ten years old?Oh, thirteen.I am old, and I will go to bed at the end of my life.In fact, it is better to die.Otherwise, who will feed you in the future?In the summer, he was strong to death.In autumn, Mei left.The son is gone, the mother is paralyzed.The twelfth lunar month is coming as scheduled, I went, what should you do?Mother, they will treat her and send her to the county hospital.It was announced at the mass meeting with a loud clang, and when it fell to the ground, I dared not break my promise.But for you, you can only let the doctor eat it.You might as well be dead.Yes, I have already decided to go to the village head at dawn and tell me that I beheaded Xiaoli Village.Luckily, thanks to the twelfth lunar month holiday.Fortunately, I also went to that ditch to repair the dam three days ago.I did not fight?I stirred into the chaotic crowd.It was messy then.A pot of porridge.No one could see that I didn't move.that's it.At dawn, I went to the village chief.Surrendered himself.It must still be snowing.Come on, if you are cold, go to bed and turn yellow.Yes, grabbing the edge of the bed with the front legs.Don't grab the quilt, grab the edge of the bed.that's it.Push hard... hard.Well, still lying there.I'm already set.You have stayed in my house for twelve or three years, really.So fast.Spring goes and autumn comes, time flies like a blink of an eye.Die, what do you think?I'll find you a good place to go.It's better to be buried than to let the doctor eat you.Well, shaking your head doesn't count as nodding.Ah, you really nodded.You really nodded!Life is like a dream.Your life is like a dream.In the end, if you fall into this field, the field of responsibility is facing the sun, so go and be with Qiang.what sound?Who got up so early.The potter's wheel creaked and creaked.The sound was like ice cubes sliding across the bed, cold and hard.Cyan voice.It doesn't look like it's dawn.Asleep yellow?sleep.Get a good night's sleep.Tomorrow I will go to the village chief.Turn yourself in.Don't let others get ahead of you.Uncle Changwang, Datong, and others.Fight to the death.It's really a fight to the death.In this year and year, is there anything that does not need to be contested?The building of the village chief's house is really beautiful.A lot of houses are ready to build a building.The village head’s family bought a big color TV, but they couldn’t receive the programs.It was a few years ago.The village head also paid for the repair of a simple plug-in turntable in Miaoshan.In a radius of more than ten miles, seven villages and eight villages can receive TV programs.The village head became a typical example.The village chief also repaired the house of the primary school, spending more than 5,000 yuan.The village chief reported to the radio station.I took a photo with the county magistrate.Just be the village head.The village head also has dogs.The elder brother of the village chief always touched the dog's head with that hand.It's called Qingqing.The dog has a patch of blue on its head.The village chief turned out to be a potter.The brick kiln was packaged, and it was sent.When the village mayor.Find him tomorrow.It's good to be dead.Disaster came like ice.What are you afraid of.dodge it.When I was studying, I picked up bird eggs on the side of the road.It fell off, all over the egg yolk.So is human life, like a bird's egg falling to the ground.What else did you do as a child?Never mind him, just look at the eyes.After I died, Mei also completely stopped thinking about Zhangjiaying, lest she always look sad in autumn.It can be considered filial piety.The county hospital has cured many hemiplegias, all of which were sequelae of cerebral thrombosis.Home is like a fallen bird's egg.Broken.Break it.One egg yolk.What is this, warm and sticky.Is it the blood soaked from Huang's hind legs?Xu is.New Year approached.New Year Mei said she would come to see me and my mother.Write her a letter at the end.Don't come, this rural society has nothing to do with you anymore.On a cold street close to her home, there is a restaurant selling wontons.What do you think, the respected teacher went to open a wonton restaurant.A child raised in a poor family.A woman who grew up in a rural society.Think about it, the miasma.She suffered.Society is turned upside down.Yesterday he was a potter, today he is the village chief.The old branch secretary farms the land every day.Most people in the village went to work in the brick factory.No one went to the old branch secretary's house.No one will be poor.Still living in thatched cottages.But he has a good heart.Don't even dare to kill a chicken.No one called him a branch secretary.Call him Lao Zhang.Zhangjiaying is from the same family, so they are called Lao Zhang.It should be called Bo, Ye.Everyone sweeps the snow in front of the door.Control yourself.The barefoot Taoist is good. The song says that everyone in the world knows that gods are good, but gold and silver can't be forgotten;But at the bliss of life at the end of life, it is hard to measure the wisdom of the Buddha.Where are these last two sentences?Men are also free to come and women are also free, and they will not meet on the road to Huangquan.The ancients were smart and summed up life vividly.Why doesn't Huang move, don't let me die first.No way, dogs are the toughest among animals.Damn it's easy.After burying Huang, go to the village chief.I beheaded Xiao Lizhuang.No matter where the wind came in, the bed was shivering with cold.There are some bright colors on the window.The light walks around like dancing.Classic dance steps.The wind sounded like a cracking whip.Find the village head when you get up, don't be left behind... 52 "You sit down." "Hey." "What's up?" "I thought about it all day and all night." "Say it." "I guess I can't put other people in the shoes of me." "Speak straight, don't take the alley." "I beheaded Xiaoli Village." "What did you say?!" "I missed it for a while." "Speak clearly." "I made a mistake and beheaded the head of Xiaoli Village." "It's really you?" "It's really me." "Why didn't you admit it at the meeting?" "Killing for life, I'm afraid for a while." "What now?" "I figured it out, murder deserves death." "It's really killed, and there is no way to escape." "Since you can't escape, it's better to surrender yourself." "That's what everyone who comes here says." "Who's here?" "Changwang, Dagang, Tiesuo... six or seven." "Six or seven." "I didn't sleep all night last night, this one is leaving, that one is coming." "I'm afraid of wronging others." "I didn't expect to fight even to the death." "Oka is trying to escape the 10,000 yuan loan." "I can tell." "Uncle Changwang's family is always angry." "He said it himself." "Why the iron lock?" "I'm tired of living." "I have a bad conscience for someone else to take my place." "Teacher Zhang." "Hey." "You were a person who dared not pluck chicken feathers before." "It was cold, so I drank a few sips of wine that day." "This is going to die, don't be foolish and join in the fun." "Village Chief, I've thought about it before and after, and I can't wrong others." "Did you go to the construction site that day?" "Go, go with Tiesuo." "Where were you when the fight took place?" "In the crowd." "Tell me about the situation." "I was lost at the time, hacking randomly." "How do you know it was you who cut off the head?" "I chopped off his shoulder, and he shook his head, just right," "What's right?" "Cut on the head." "Is there blood on you?" "Such a long shovel handle." "Where's the shovel?" "threw." "Your family's shovel?" "Scratched at the construction site." "How can you be sure that the person you hacked died?" "Anyone else was beheaded?" "No." "That's it." "Mr. Zhang, you have been teaching for half your life honestly and honestly," "It would be nice not to go to the construction site that day." "I can't believe you killed someone." "It's really me." "Have you seen the old branch secretary Da Lin and Tie Suo?" "No." "They are exactly what you said." "You trust them?" "It's good that someone admits it, let the Public Security Bureau determine who killed it." "The Public Security Bureau is here today?" "It will arrive at noon... I said, Teacher Zhang, did you really cut it?" "Really is." "Have you thought about the days to come?" "Think about it all. Don't cause trouble to the village." "It's really you, I'll send someone to take your mother to the county hospital immediately." "It costs money to treat illnesses, the village chief, you sold my house." "Don't worry about it. I'll let the daughters-in-law in the whole village take turns to serve her." "That way I have nothing to worry about." "Compared with Dalin and Tiesuo, you still leave less trouble." "School children... don't miss out on your future." "Don't worry, I'll send another high school student." "In the village, are there any high school students?" "My third child will graduate next year. For the sake of the child, let him leave school earlier." "Yes... old"" "It's really cold." "It snowed early today." "Any thing else?" "Gone." "Go back and think about it again. People from the Public Security Bureau will arrive at eight o'clock." "I'm just worried about... the kids at school." "Don't worry about that. If I told you to rest assured, you can rest assured." "Let's go," "Stop sitting, I didn't sleep last night." "Then you sleep." "As soon as the people from the Public Security Bureau arrive, I will notify the three of you to surrender." "All three?" "The two of them are also very reasonable." "village head……" "You get ready, and give the school stall to the third child first." "Thank you...the village chief" "Come back, if you're determined to give up, hurry up and do some funeral affairs." 53 After coming out of the village chief's house, there are only one or two lines of footprints on the street.Snow did not know when to rest.The sun shines transparently on the mountains.The sky to the east was so bright that one could see through it that it was only a thin sheet of paper.Still cold.It was cold and damp, and there seemed to be water droplets on the face.Turning a corner, the wind from the alley suddenly hit, and Teacher Zhang couldn't help shivering.Rubbing his eyes, he seemed to wake up suddenly.Thoughts all night, woke up, fell asleep; fell asleep, woke up again.The light moving on the window became brighter and brighter.Get up from the bed in a panic, only to realize that it is only dawn.At this time in the past, people would walk unsteadily towards the fields, but in this snowy day, needless to say, they would all be lazy on their beds.Teacher Zhang's blood was agitated by a kind of death without hesitation. A night of thinking was like a boat, and he was shaken to the village chief's bed early.However, the cold wind from this alley hit, but it seemed that the warm blood in the body suddenly cooled down.The snowflakes blown by the wind turned into cold water in the neck.In the final analysis is to say goodbye to life.Death is something that makes one's bones feel cold, blood surges like a high tide, and it's not difficult to see death go home; when the tide goes out, it's just to stand on the shore and look at the scenery gushing out on the beach.The scenery hangs on the beach, prompting people to think about the scene when the tide rises.In the final analysis, life is nothing more than three things: life and death.Life and death are nothing more than two endpoints, and living is a period of time.The meaning is all in the process.The village head said that if you give up your mind, you should hurry up and do some funeral affairs.Have you given up on it?Suddenly it was not true.The rays of the sun, one after another, slanted into the snow.Teacher Zhang walked towards the sun, as if he wanted to walk into the sun.The footsteps creaked, loud and crisp, until they reached the mountain beam behind the village.The wheat seedlings are all sealed in the snow, and the sunlight is blown by the wind in the snow.The coldness of the twelfth lunar month has become a kind of decoration for snowy emotions.Son Qiang's grave protrudes in the field like a white flour bun.The creek has lost the crisp sound of glass.How did you get here! Teacher Zhang stopped his steps, and the solitary tree stood on the beam one by one. In summer, green smoke grows on the ground.In the rural environment, if it is not hot, it is not hot, and when it is hot, smoke will be produced on the ground.The elementary school is on wheat vacation, Mr. Zhang is cutting wheat in the field, and his son is behind him gleaning.I was thirsty, so I brought some water from the stream.The son went and didn't return for a long time.In mid-June, it is Baiyun Mangrove, which is very hot.Thirsty, I stood by the side of the ditch and yelled loudly, and heard the sound of throbbing in the stream.Stepping down, I saw my son sinking and floating in the stream, and when he was salvaged, he was only dying.The pool was originally filled with deep water for the villagers to take a bath at night, so they slipped into it because they didn't want to force it.In previous years, plums were the only ones who went there to fetch water, whether they drank in summer or planted sweet potato seedlings in autumn.With Mei gone, Qiang should be used as an adult in the countryside.This is the first time he went to the river to fetch water like his mother.The water is too cold, like snow in the twelfth lunar month.Teacher Zhang was sweating all over the child while holding the child, calling urgently along the way, save our child!Save us strong!Save our children, save us strong!His hissing was loud.After climbing up the mountain ridge, the villagers gathered together and said, hurry up!quick!The elder brother of the village chief was harvesting wheat in his field. Teacher Zhang ran west.The wheat field of the doctor's house is in Liangxi. The doctor was smoking under the shade of a tree at the head of the field, when he saw a crowd of people coming from the village, he turned around, and Teacher Zhang knelt down in front of him with the child in his arms. "What's wrong?" "Flooded uncle...you save him." The doctor took the child and put it on the ground, let the child's watery belly face up to the sky, pressed it, rolled the child's eyelids, lifted the child's ankle, like lifting a bundle of firewood, threw it, and the child fell headfirst on the ground. His back, feet hooking his shoulders.The sun was baking overhead, and the newly built road on the beam was wide and flat, stretching straight to the other side of the mountain.The doctor was running fast on the road, the child was like a sack of grain hanging on his back, loosely moving, and his bulging belly patted his shoulder.The villagers chased after the doctor, hoping that a life would come alive from the doctor's back.The doctor ran like a wind, and the small trees standing on the side of the road were blown down like grasses.Cicada yelled and flew from the top of his head.Teacher Zhang ran among the crowd behind the doctor. He only wanted to see if there was water pouring out from behind the doctor.The road that the doctor ran was dry and scorched, and dust was flying up in the sky.From one slope to another, the doctor got tired and slowed down.Hearing the chaotic voices behind him, he put the bag on his back on the road, pressed his stomach, rolled his eyelids, listened to the child's snort, and said that there was still hope.He also said you, you, pointing to two young and strong guys, each running on one leg. 两个小伙各提一条小腿，沿着大夫走过的路，没命的奔跑，如车站上两人合提一包抢跑上车的旅客。村人被他们甩下了。他们选在两个山岭中间的一段平道，穿梭着来回。村人在中间拥着，来时给他们让开一条通道，去时又关门一样将道关着。张老师在那门边呆呆地不动，他看见孩子脸上一道道青光，一闪而过，又一闪而过，村长的哥哥立在门口的另一边，闪过了，他就吸烟，青烟丝丝，妩媚地上升。闪来了，他叫说快点，跑快点，人命关天！ 不知道跑了几个来回，两个小伙终于跑瘫在路坡。袋一样的孩子在梁上躺着，水亮的肚子映着天和太阳。村人朝着瘫倒的小伙拥过去，马路上腾起枯干的尘土如红色的烟雾。张老师被裹在人群，又渐渐被那人群丢落。大夫在张老师的前面，他没有看见从孩子嘴中倒出水来，拨开人群，用手翻了翻孩子的眼皮，便吐出一声青灰色的长叹，说没救了，从水里捞得太晚了，准备以后的事情吧。大夫很像自言自语，即景生情地这么一说，便反剪了双手，有致仙仙地去了他家田里。 54 老支书踩着他人生的脚步，一踏一踏地向西走来，脸上的表情，深含了命运的冬色，幽暗如昨夜的天象一般，是雨是雪，都浅浅地显像出来。张老师心下呆了一呆，把目光从孩子的坟上收回，说大林叔，好早的天，你独自慢慢，往哪儿去啊。老支书本料不到这白雪皑皑的梁上还有别人，微微一怔，说是你呀张老师，顺着张老师刚才的目光望去，看见了不远处强的坟堆，咳了一声，说想开些。不要伤了身体。又说孩子走了半年吧，张老师说整整半年，就都到了一块。 山梁上的风，刀子一样从梁上刮过，张老师神情专注，对是否去死，回思转念，亦未可知，一时虽寡穿一个棉袄，却也忘了寒冷。老支书却不然，披了他当年在张家营一呼百应的绿大衣，还将双手袖着。时至今日，乡土社会最为基层的乡村干部，仍然将军队的大衣视之为宝，县里苦开一个三级干部会议，会场上是一片绿色，几乎人人都穿军用大衣。这大衣在乡土社会历久不衰，究其缘由，怕也就是与一呼百应有着暗连。可惜老支书早几年就被村人们选落了，将那个位置托手让给了现在的村长。村长之所以深得人心，是因为忽然手里有了许多的钱。那钱的光泽，照亮了张家营人未来的前景。落选后的老支书，大病一场，病愈后几乎不见出门，偶尔的走动，也是到自家责任田里转转。几年过去了，老支书清贫的日子在村中有口皆碑，至今宁住解放初盖的草屋，也不让孩子们去镇上做那胡乱的生意，更不消说让去村长家的砖厂挣钱了。虽然穷，却显出了老支书作为党派的一员，那种永不衰竭的骨气，使他渐渐又赢得一些村人的回敬。加上一点，从解放至今，老支书为人善良，替人做了何样的好事，从不吃人家一顿便饭，不收人家一瓶酒喝，清风亮节，很有道光德誉，也常使村人富了以后怀念。张老师去教书的生涯，是老支书的妥善安排。梅去老君庙小学做了教师，也是老支书那时对一代知青的怜悯。这样的感激之情，大队改为村，投票选村长时，张老师和梅已做了回报。选老支书连任村长的仅有五票，有三票是他三个儿子投的，另两票便是张老师和梅投的。落选归落选，但老支书对张老师，却自此始终怀着忘年知己的情谊和有恩图报的印象。所以二人见了，老支书便关怀备至，问了张老师许多情况，如他母亲的病情，如老君庙小学的学业。最后说： “梅走了，你也不要太放她不下，有机会还是要再成一个家，以后的日子还长。” 太阳已经升起很高，金灿灿一盆儿从天上款步走来。张老师倒说不清是否真的放梅不下。自和梅结婚，倒真很有几个年月甜情蜜意，连大返城的浪潮也没冲她一动。虽说她不返城还有许多别的原因，比如她从城里看到的失落，和自己家境贫困的尴尬，但到底重要的还是对脱俗于乡村的爱情和孩子的牵挂。不过，话说正反两面，她人虽留在了乡土社会，心却还总是丝丝断断地想着那个城市。毕竟她在那儿生长。只不过为了家和孩子，才长久地克制另一种情感，不讲或少讲而已。开始不断念叨那个城市，是从张老师三年中榜，皆又落选，终于使她三年的梦想和努力付诸东流开始的。 第三次落选后她回了一次家。 那时候，那个城市在突然之间高楼林立；商场大厦，一座接着一座，电梯和天桥随处可见。据说立交桥也在政府的酝酿建造之中。最著名的亚细亚商场已经以每年破费百万的巨额款项，把——中原之星亚细亚——的广告作遍全国，仿佛一个国家的商场忽然全部歇业，仅剩下了那个城市的亚细亚。连从北京、上海、广州、深圳、海南来的客人，都以不到亚细亚为憾。可亚细亚居民区的居民梅，却在乡土社会的自然村落张家营，从未听说过什么亚细亚，这不能不使她感到一种小市民般的深深缺欠。那时候随返城大军早些回城，也就自然没有了今天的苦恼，三十多岁的都市人，还从未喝过罐装的饮料也实在是只有中国才有的一项罕见。碰到一个当年的同学，返乡后待业，曾可怜地跪在一个主任面前想求份工作，说清道工、锅炉工都成。可今日她从小车上下来，对司机说两个小时后到梅苑接我。和同学生拉硬扯地走了一程，才发现梅苑不是梅园，而是一座二十七层的酒楼，乘电梯上去吃了一顿饭，人家共花了五百八十二块钱，一摔手扔出六百元。近二十元的回找做了别人的小费。走的时候，才知道那小车是同学自己买的，司机也是高薪聘的退伍兵。问说工作，同学笑笑，说个体户。和几天前夫妻两个到县城送礼的寒酸相比，实在是天壤之别，无法同语于天下。其实，那同学在校时的才智、操行，又哪能和梅相提并论。 那次从城里回来，梅的神情显出了她不多见的神秘；一会阴郁，一会兴奋，开始不断地说都市省城的繁华、热闹，侃侃而谈，喋喋不休。然正说到兴致时候，又会长叹一声，缄默不言，沉进死死的安宁里。张老师有时以为，分离的种子，是播种于他没被招进师范学院和梅的那次回家。究其实际，却也是不无道理。 55 “成家是不可能了，以后在我没多少日子啦。” 老支书大林叔疑望着张老师。 张老师说：“是我砍了小李村的人头。”以这话来回答老支书的疑问，话出口连张老师都深感不妥。从内心深处，他还并没有最后下了死心，只是觉到在人生中遇到了千载难逢的机遇，让这般好的时机失之交臂，会造成终生的遗憾。这话使老支书十分愕然，脸上立刻有了雪白。张老师，你可千万不要因为家破人亡想不开，老支书说，我已经给村长那东西说过，是我砍了小李村的人头。张老师笑笑，说没啥儿想不开，我对啥儿都想开了。 说啥儿都想开了，其实还不然。很多事情他还正在想。梅的走离，他把最重要的原因归罪于自己对儿子看护的失妥，使儿子死了，才使梅终于离开张家营。事实倒不尽然如此。早几年前，梅在内心就将乡村社会和都市生活矛盾起来。先前她几年回家一次，后来是一年一次，甚或一年几次。家有老父，都市繁华，乡村沉闷而又闭塞，回家本无可非议。只是她每次从城里回来，便有无尽的叹息，枕着张老师的胳膊黯然伤神，有时望着熟睡的儿子热泪盈盈。教完了书，同张老师说得最多的是故乡的亚细亚商场。还有华联商场，商城大厦，贸易中心，中国第一服装城等等。终于有一天，她酝酿了一项计划：春节将至，回家运来一批服装卖掉。虽然和张老师都是乡野书生，但乡土社会经过许多年的变迁，观念上除了婚丧嫁娶的旧规，对钱也比早几年看重十成。村长给学校捐过了款，也当了村长，扩建了砖厂，很多村人去出力挣钱，都欲准备盖房。张家营也决不仅有张老师那三间土瓦房，村长的洋楼已经旗帜样竖了起来。所以张老师也不会贸然反对梅的计划，更何况她娘家为都市，婆家为乡村，知己知彼，岂可以平常对她的计划进行意度。刚放年假，凑了八百元钱。张老师和梅一同搭汽车，换火车，一天两夜赶至省会，顾不了许多事情，两个人到服装商场，以童装和青年装为主，专买那些款式陈旧，价格低廉，在城市滞销，甚至几乎没人问津的服装，连扛带抬，含辛茹苦地运回家里，正赶上春节前的两个乡村庙会。经过周密地算计，梅说我们每年这样跑几次，就可以盖起和村长家一样的楼房，如果生意好了，我们就辞去教师，再雇两个人，在镇上开个都市服装店。店名就叫都市服装店。有了钱，便没有办不成的事。孰料在乡村庙会上，两个教师从事买卖，本就有了许多难堪，可那丰收的人头，高高低低，板栗一样窜动，从他们挂起的服装前过去，无人不去注目，却又极少有人真买。偶有卖出手的，也都是在乡土社会被称为不规矩的人才买。男的是那些被说成地痞流氓者，女的是被以为浪荡胡骚之流。而真正卖得快的，倒是别人从洛阳收购来的旧衣旧鞋。有的时候，看那姑娘俏丽，对某一件在城里过时五年以上的衣服爱不释手，翻来覆去地挑看，却又迟迟不肯从口袋掏钱。你把价格压到低得不能再低了，她也觉得再讨价还价说不过去。以为她该买了，却是长叹一声，说款式再土气一点就好，这样时新如何敢穿至人前，又怏怏走了。 这次生意的失败，对梅是又一沉重的打击。倒不是说赔了几百块钱，横竖货在。如今那批衣服还码在箱内。主要是梅由此进一步明洞了乡村社会，在中国永远是乡村社会。如她决心了此一生的这块土地，和城市相比，其落后不是说一个世纪即可赶上。过完年，梅又默默到老君庙小学教书，比起往日，话又少了许多许多，除了辅导辅导孩子的功课，几乎连都市的繁华也很少提起。