Chapter 6 The third part is walking towards heaven.1

39 A few years later, in the early 1990s, Yamei finally left Zhangjiayingzi, returned to the city and returned to the provincial capital.One night in the winter of this year, when Tianyuan was half asleep and half awake, because of the opportunity of death that fell from the sky, he reflected on the other side of his and Yamei's life that was covered by happiness, and decided resolutely: die Let it go. This decision was originally made because of yesterday's village meeting.The meeting place was set at the head of the village. It was cold and cold at that time, and the meeting place was very vast. Looking up, one could see Laojunmiao Elementary School in the distance, sitting cross-legged like a grass hut; the bright white Yi River twisted and twisted under the mountain ridge.After the village chief finished speaking, he sat silently on the stage, looking at the villagers in a daze.The villagers were also bowed by the weight of the disaster.The men smoked heavily, the women turned pale, and the children did not dare to cry at all.At this time, Teacher Zhang thought, it would be better to let me die, isn't it just death, why bother to let the whole village bear such a disaster.All the old and young in the village shook their heads, needless to say, because they still had many concerns with the world.But you Tianyuan is much easier than that.Just as he was planning to live and die like this, Mr. Zhang was called out of the venue by someone lying on his ear, and after he hid in the alley of the village, he was told that your Huang Zai was run over by a car on the beam.He hurriedly crossed the alley and climbed up the mountain ridge. Sure enough, he saw blood stains spread all over the road on the mountain ridge.Huang fell down in the blood, trembling all over, but his mouth was extremely patient, without a cry of pain, just those eyes, staring straight at the road leading to Zhangjiaying.Seeing this scene, Teacher Zhang immediately turned pale, took a few steps, held Huang in his arms, and hurriedly ran towards the clinic in the village.

The clinic is located in Sandao Hutong in the village. The house is an old temple house. It always looks like it will collapse, but it never collapses.The doctor is the elder brother of the village chief. Because of the cold and because he is the elder brother of the village chief, he didn't go to the meeting. The door was closed and he warmed himself by the fire in the house.Teacher Zhang hurriedly knocked on the door of the clinic and said, Uncle Wang, my family Huang was run over by a car. The doctor stood at the door, glanced at Huang in Teacher Zhang's arms, blood was dripping like rain, and said that I must have died again.It's a dog!Teacher Zhang said you should show me, but the doctor said I am not a veterinarian.Teacher Zhang begged him eagerly:

"Uncle Wang, I'll pay." The doctor returned to sit by the fire for a while, sighed deeply, got up again and put a stainless steel pot on the fire, poured half a pot of boiling water into the pot from the water bottle, spread a newspaper on the floor, and said without looking up come in.Teacher Zhang walked into the room with small steps and put Huang on the newspaper.Huang trembled on the newspaper, making a room full of noise.The doctor came over and lifted one hind leg, and then the other, as easily as taking the two hind legs off Huang's body.When he lifted it, Huang's blood flowed out from his hind legs, and immediately the newspapers on the ground were soaked in blood.

The doctor said: "Kill it, don't let it suffer." Teacher Zhang said: "At least it is a life." The doctor said: "Both hind legs are broken, it's wrong." Teacher Zhang stayed still, looking at Huang's hind legs, and the doctor said whether to kill him or not?Dog meat is used to remove the cold in winter.Teacher Zhang said to save it for a while, so I don't have the heart to kill it.The doctor said, you go out for a while.I call you to come in and come in again.Teacher Zhang walked out of the clinic hesitantly.The doctor closed the door.He stood in the alley, and the twelfth lunar month wind howled and blew through the alley, throwing firewood and chicken feathers on the wall.The village meeting at the end of the alley still remained silent.It has been silent for several hours.On the top of the blue-black head, there is a sticky yellow light, which is the sun chilling in the clouds.Teacher Zhang didn't know what the doctor was going to do, so he put his hands in his coat, stomped his feet lightly to keep warm, hoping to hear a dog barking from the clinic.It is rare quiet.Only the doctor's footsteps sounded alone in the clinic.After a long time, Teacher Zhang wanted to open the door to have a look, but the door opened with a bang, and a sentence flashed out, come in.

Teacher Zhang, who walked into the clinic again, was stunned and froze as soon as he entered the clinic.Huang lay dead on the paper, and the village chief's brother cut off his two hind legs at the joints with a knife, peeled off the skin, and threw them beside Huang's head, like two balls of dirty blood cloth.Huang was trembling bit by bit, bouncing and bouncing, as if he wanted to jump up from the ground.It's a pity that the trembling was only for a moment, and then completely motionless in the blink of an eye.The doctor was wiping his hands with a piece of newspaper, and pieces of bloody paper were crumpled up and thrown against the wall.The pot on the fire has not yet been covered.Huang's two hind legs, like two extremely tender ears of corn, are bright red, gurgling and turning in the pot.Boiled water becomes the color of pollen.There is already a scent, warm and warm in the room.Fortunately, Huang's two stake-like hind legs really stopped bleeding, and the two gauze wraps, like two blooming white cotton flowers, were snow-white and snow-white, lying on the ground.Only two spots of blood soaked out of the two balls of white snow, against the white gauze, the red is dazzling, very much like two spots of plum blossoms on the snow cliff.

The elder brother of the village chief wiped his hands, kicked the dirty paper into a pile, turned around slowly, and said: "It's so cold, it's better to kill it." Teacher Zhang asked, "Cut it off?" Said: "Leave it infected with fester?" Ask: "How much?" Said: "There was no anesthesia, ten stitches, one stitch at a time." Teacher Zhang walked over very slowly, and glanced at Huang's hind legs in the pot. Oil stars were floating on the water surface, tempting them.The doctor took the lid of the pot and covered the pot, and said that it is not possible to amputate the infected and suppurative, just like people, the amputation must be amputated.Teacher Zhang said, Uncle Wang, I have no money right now, can I send it to you in a few days?The doctor looked up at Mr. Zhang's face, and said after a while, okay, you really don't deserve to spend so much money on it.

Teacher Zhang picked up Huang.Picking up Huang, Teacher Zhang felt that Huang was completely dead, as if his whole body was frozen. After standing close to his body for a while, he vaguely felt that Huang was trembling again.Walking out of the clinic, the village meeting finally broke up.People walk in the twelfth lunar month, walking heavily. 40 For a disaster in a village, someone must die.No matter who it is, stand up and die, in exchange for the peace of Zhangjiaying after the calm.Teacher Zhang seemed to be asleep, thinking about the dilemma between life and death.Death, after all, is not a trivial matter, although it can end everything, but each person is involved in the world, how can we say that death is death.Even going to the town to go to the market, no one can get away just by saying go.Although someone must die, it is certain.This calamity is very similar to a phenomenon in the sky. The sun was shining brightly at first, but in an instant it was covered with dark clouds, covering the world in thick darkness and oppressing the hearts of the people.Zhangjiaying was in the sky, and suddenly felt that disaster was coming. Everyone in the village thought in their hearts, if they knew today, why bother!For what, only a few acres of loess.Between Zhangjiaying and Xiaoli Village, there was originally a deep ditch, the land that had been left uncultivated for generations. Suddenly Zhangjiaying wanted to cultivate it, so he concentrated his labor on the side of the ditch during the leisure time in winter to build a large weir. Seek to store water in the weir to raise fish, and sow crops outside the weir.Things seem to be the same thing, such as a dilapidated bamboo basket, no one will look at it when it is thrown away, and if someone picks it up, everyone will find that it is a pity to throw it away.This is the case in Xiaoli Village. When the weir was about to be built in Zhangjiaying, dozens of young and strong laborers came from Xiaoli Village and erected it on the weir. They said that this ditch originally belonged to Xiaoli Village. Why did you Zhangjiaying come to build the weir? Patian!

That's it. It was three days ago.Light snow fell that day, and the whole world shivered with cold.In the ditch, there was loud and crazy screaming, and there was a commotion.Hundreds of villagers were suddenly involved in unprovoked village feuds.Xiaoli village was also prepared, and when they came, they came empty-handed, and when there was a commotion, they had short sticks sleeved in their coats.Naturally, Zhang Jiaying would not show weakness, so he took up shovels, shovel handles, and baskets on the spot, and confronted the two armies.Stones and clods were flying all over the sky, and the sound of fighting was earth-shattering, much like a primitive battlefield.While beating them like this, some people shouted, "Don't beat them!"It hurts!Stop hitting!It's hurting people; the moaning really stopped the fighting.Both sides lifted several fallen villagers from the ground, and they both smelled the smell of blood, and they were scattered in the light snow.

If they were beaten, they would be beaten, and each of them carried the wounded person back to the village. It goes without saying to ask for a doctor's package and scold the other party.But the night before, the village chief was called away by the county police station.When the village chief came back yesterday, Zhangjiaying suddenly found out that someone in Xiaoli Village had died in the county hospital. The person is really dead, wrapped in layers of white gauze.The village head said at the meeting, damn it, the doctor took me to the morgue, and the dead man was a young man whose head was chopped off like a sweet potato by a three-shovel.There were two more, one with half of his ear chopped off and the other with a broken arm in the emergency room of the county hospital.This is their Xiao Li Village's retribution!They sued our Zhangjiaying.The chief of the Public Security Bureau, my grandma, patted the table and scolded me, the village head, and our Zhangjiaying, saying that the theft compensates, and the murder pays with life, so we must let Zhangjiaying hand over the murderer.He said that tomorrow he will come to Zhangjiaying to lead people...Yesterday and tomorrow, Tianyuan thinks it will be now.Murderer, who the fuck is the murderer?The village chief took a few steps on the stage and said that there was no murderer in Zhangjiaying, and he was a hero of the village.Little Li village plotted to dominate our Zhangjiaying land, so let them end like this.I said at the Public Security Bureau that if he came to seize the land again, his Xiaoli Village would become a river of blood and a mountain of bones.I have eight generations of ancestors, and the village chief said that the chief of the public security bureau slapped me and insisted that I hand over the murderer before noon tomorrow.My village chief said earlier today that no matter whoever beheaded Xiaoli Village, the police took him away, he is a martyr of our Zhangjiaying.The village built a tomb for him.If he has parents, the whole village will take care of him until his death.When a person dies, regardless of seniority, starting from the head of my village, they all wear sackcloth and filial piety and send them to the ancestral grave; if he has children, Zhangjiaying will plow the fields for him and let his children study and start a family until they are married. .

In the end, the village head said that I was thinking about this matter. If a person is dead, the evidence is so strong that it is impossible to hide. Instead of letting the police station come to the village to investigate people, we Zhangjiaying should be good men who do things well.Dead but nodded.What about living?Isn't it just to be filial to parents and to raise children? Now that these villages are all covered, you can go there with peace of mind. The meaning of the village chief is clearly that whoever cuts off the head will stand up.At such a time, Teacher Zhang was sitting on a high place, and the winter cold was flowing at the entrance of the village. The frost and snow a few days ago had made the twelfth lunar month very turbulent. It was extremely cold.People died, and those who were beaten to death by Zhangjiaying, these need not be said again and again.Killing people to pay for their lives, borrowing debts to pay back money, the truth is also simple and reasonable, and no one can understand it.But who can come out and take responsibility?Who doesn't have a family?After the village chief finished his speech, he just sat there, hoping that his words would mobilize people's hearts. Sure enough, some people, regardless of life and death, came out and said to the village chief, that person was beheaded by me.However, who is willing to deal with the great matter of life and death?Teacher Zhang, who was sitting on a high place, glanced at the meeting place, and saw that the hearts of the people in the meeting place were very cold, and they were speechless. No matter young or old, all of them had hardened expressions on their faces. Others, not to mention the village chief on the stand, just stared at the square in front of them, thinking that whoever accidentally hacked and killed him, and caused such a disaster, the disaster really came from the east, so it's hard to go west.

The village chief walked back and forth on the stage a few more times.What I say is the words of Zhangjiaying, the words of the old and young men of Zhangjiaying, and the words of the party branch of Zhangjiaying. To compile the book, there are words as evidence, stamped with the seal of the Zhangjiaying Party branch, and pressed the fingerprints of the old and young men of Zhangjiaying.When the village head repeated his words like this on the stage, his voice was extremely loud, as if someone was yelling at the head of the village that something was lost in his house, and if someone saw it and said something, if he wanted to pick it up, he would be confused again. .Then don't blame me for being rude.Since ancient times, people do not eat fine wine when toasting. How can toasting be better than fine wine? However, the villagers would rather you say that the sun will rise to the west, but they will die silently.It was so silent.A few hours passed like the blink of an eye, and when it was nearly noon, still no one stood, no one spoke, and no one went to the latrine.At that time, someone came to Mr. Zhang's ear, called Mr. Zhang out of the venue, and said that Huang had been run over by a car. 41 Mr. Zhang's family lived behind the village, and the age of the three old houses showed the family's age.Nowadays, with the prosperity of the current fashion, many families have become rich.Not to mention that the railway has been built into the mountains, even the road has been widened, stretching over the beams on the top of the village.Zhangjiaying is a small place, adjacent to the offshoot of the Qinling Mountains in the south, and Yiyang and Luoning counties in the north. The days of the country people who are tinkering, knocking, and able to move around are not what they used to be. There are a few newly built Tile houses are very common.People with sharp eyes and quick hands have erected buildings long ago.There are not many Shiwa houses like Mr. Zhang’s in the early years in Zhangjiaying.Besides, there are two thatched cottages lying on the hatchback, which is even more unique. Yesterday, Teacher Zhang went back to the house, put Huang on the bed where he slept, and sat on the stool to breathe a sigh of relief. With the thin light squeezed in from the window, he glanced at the dusty things in the room. Furniture, a few bitterness that can't be erased in my heart.Half a year ago, a family was fine, but in a blink of an eye, the wife and children were separated.Because of this, the mother was sick in bed and couldn't get out of bed, which showed the decline of a family.Back at this home, Mr. Zhang can't help but feel the desolation of the world.Huang is his loyal companion.Earlier, I accompanied him to Qingliangsi Primary School a few miles away, where he taught, and it lay at the door of the classroom, leaving early and returning late, and we were in the same boat through thick and thin.The premature death of his son finally made his wife Yamei leave him.He is even more dependent on Huang.Thinking about last winter, Huang's front legs were broken by someone. He was already limping when he walked, but he couldn't run as fast as a sheep. Now his two hind legs were run over by a car, and the village chief's brother cut them off neatly. This added to Teacher Zhang's inner suffering.Huang on the bed, his hind legs were covered with a quilt, and under him was an old jacket of Teacher Zhang.Borrowing some heat, it slowly opened its eyes and glanced at its owner. Suddenly, the corners of its eyes were wet, and there were two big tears. After hanging for a while, it finally fell on the bed unbearably, and there was a snoring in its throat. snoring sound.Maybe it was crying, it sounded horribly sad.When the doctor amputated its leg in the clinic, there was no cry, and its eyes were closed dryly.Now it is crying, but what kind of fate is it tasting.Teacher Zhang saw that the quilt covering the yellow hind legs trembled, and his heart trembled.He knew how painful the hind legs were, and wanted to take a look at the quilt, but he didn't have the courage, so he got up and stood by the bed for a while, stroked Huang's head a few times, and wiped away the tears. , Say bear with me, I'll make you some soup to drink, and then come out of the house. The weather in the courtyard was still drowsy, as if snow was about to fall, but it refused to fall easily.Looking from the door, the endless darkness seems to swallow up the openness stretching into the distance.He said to cook a bowl of hot soup for Huang, but Mr. Zhang came to the door involuntarily. The neighbors who came back from the meeting at the end were silent with each other. "The meeting ended?" "The meeting is over." "Anyone stand up?" "Who would. It's to die, not to eat and drink." The neighbor went.After asking this question, Teacher Zhang felt at ease suddenly.The feeling of erratic, from the beginning of the meeting, made his whole mind flutter very chaotic.But looking at the neighbors who had entered the door, he suddenly thought, why don't I tell the village chief that I accidentally beheaded the head of Xiaoli Village.With this blood-red thought, Teacher Zhang's head was dyed red.He stood in a daze at the door of Layue, his whole body was agitated by this rosy thought.It was as if that death had become a tiny thread of blood, flowing around in his veins.It flowed for a day and a night, and now it gave him a little strength.When thinking of death, Mr. Zhang felt as calm as an early spring breeze blowing, it was warm, and he could still feel the caress of willow catkins and poplar flowers on his heart.Until he left the door, he still felt a strange warmth flowing silently in his blood, which was very soothing.When walking back, he was not surprised by this bloody thought, but surprised by his own calmness to this thought.What's the matter?Jie He, who was just next door to forty years old, how could he be so calm towards death? Huang hummed in pain, and finally became louder, dripping down the yard like drizzle.The cry was like the slight pulse circulating in Mr. Zhang's blood, and it hummed a little for him.He listened carefully in the courtyard for a while, when a sparrow blew over his head, waking him up. It was time to cook, so he hurried into the stove, gathered a pile of dry firewood under the stove, poured a few bowls of cold water into the pot, lit the fire and turned it on. bellows.The red fire that burst out from the stove was very similar to the thought he had just had at the door, it was hot and vigorous, driving away the cold air in his body, making others feel a rare warmth in the twelfth lunar month.In the kitchen room, it couldn't be more chaotic.When his wife Mei was there, how neatly she cleaned up the room.She requires that the end of the chopsticks that enters the mouth must face the mouth of the chopsticks basket.When burning coal, the cinders have to be removed every day. When burning firewood, the firewood must be piled up under the stove.The bowl must also be fastened to the shelf under the chopping board, and the rolling pin, fire pillar, facecloth, salt shaker, and oil bottle must all be placed in the positions she has determined.As for the sleeping room in the upper room, it is even more orderly. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year, it is absolutely unprecedented to wake up without making the quilt.Even my mother's bedding is changed and washed once a season, four times a year.At that time, Mr. Zhang had everything, eating and dressing, talking and loving, everything was dyed with the poetic flavor of light green in the countryside, and he could enjoy endless family happiness.However, today, everything seems to be a lifetime away, gone, gone, like a broken stalk of duckweed, gone forever.All that was left to him was the boundless and unpredictable situation of the second half of his life. After the soup was cooked, Mr. Zhang gave Huang Sheng a bowl to dry first, and then went to the room to ask his mother whether he should eat steamed buns or noodles, but he saw that his mother had fallen asleep, and the room was filled with a blue stench.The quilt was kicked on the ground by the mother, but she was naked, and her whole body was frozen black by the twelfth lunar month.Seeing this scene, Teacher Zhang went over to cover the quilt on the mother's body first, and then moved her body to change the padding on the bed where she felt wetting the bed. Unconsciously, the misery in her heart gushed up like a spring, thinking maybe I would go It is the best policy to say that I beheaded the person, at least my mother can go to the hospital for treatment, maybe the disease will be cured, so there is nothing wrong with it!At least the country's financial constraints will not make the mother paralyzed forever. 42 Mei finally went back to the city.Teacher Zhang's sadness is precisely because Mei is not a real villager.To put it bluntly, at such a time, an era is coming to an end, and Mei took the last train to go to the countryside, intending to go to Zhangjiaying for a helpless rest, a stop for life, to rest her feet, to breathe some fresh air, Return to the city again to get the life that belongs to her.Unexpectedly, the passengers in the car with Mei all returned to the city one after another, but Mei's fate was too hard to be moved.Out of love for the rural society and you Tianyuan, she was arranged to teach in elementary school after marriage.Grades 1, 2, and 3 share the same room, she teaches arithmetic, and Teacher Zhang teaches Chinese.Instead, they are a married couple, living a life like "Happy Homeland".Teacher Zhang in the early days, as a village scholar, was talented and knowledgeable.I have published some articles in provincial newspapers, and they are very handsome.Although teaching is paid for work points, but on one side of the earth, he is a respected person, with a good image, a good age, and he is honest and honest in his work.Compared with the male educated youth who came to change the air with Mei, except that he was from the countryside, the others were even worse.Compared with the country people, Mei is superior in every way because she was born in the city, but compared to the family background of those people who came with her, she is also very pitiful.So she never wanted to talk about her parents' jobs.When he asked, he got up and just answered, I will go to the countryside, and my brother can stay in the city.When she said this, she always looked ashamed and deeply helpless.And in terms of talent and learning, she is more intelligent and kind-hearted than the passengers in the same car.From Mei's point of view, the dozen or so male and female educated youths who went to the countryside together, after careful consideration, most of them are mediocre and have no outstanding talents, and none of them can resist Teacher Zhang's talent and virtue.In fact, Mei's so refined and lofty, also doomed her life of hardships and sorrows. Laojunmiao Primary School is a few miles away from Zhangjiaying.At that time, the fox died in prison, and the other educated youths returned to the city to be wiped out.Yamei and him have been married and taught together for many years, and they are already considered a real farmer teacher. The years of love and affection for each other, but because of the burning of "Happy Homeland" and the development of rural society, she often recalls some of the time before marriage, as if I was looking for the essential reason why I had to borrow Zhangjiayingzi.In the end, I decided to talk about the marriage of the two in a qualitative way. Not long after the fox was in prison, after the last educated youth companion returned to the city, Mei went to the county educated youth office for a day, came back at dusk, and spent alone on the village head cliff thinking until midnight.The creek under the cliff is gurgling and gurgling, which is a bit lonely.In summer, the setting sun falls quickly in the west, the stars and the moon rise early, the corn trees undulate, and in the middle of the night the mountains are filled with the sound of creaking growth.Sitting on the cliff, with the vast blue sky above your head, the endless fields behind you, the sound of running water under your feet, the surrounding fields are deserted, and only the green smell is bubbling, your heart seems very empty, as if in the blink of an eye, It also pierces through life.Mei heard the sound of oxen and wheels rolling on the back of the beam in the middle of the night, and turned around to go back to the village.When she turned around, she saw Teacher Zhang sitting on a rock behind her.She said what are you doing here?He said that my mother baked buns, and I'll bring them to you.She said why didn't you call me.He said that I want you to sit alone for a while, and you should be alone at this time, but I am afraid that you will not think about it.She hesitated to take the bun from him, Yelu had already wet the cloth wrapping it.The moon is light and the stars are sparse, the village is trapped in the haze, and Laojunmiao Primary School is dissolved in the knees.Eating the steamed buns baked by his mother, she said: "Tian Yuan, what do you think I should do?" "I saved forty yuan, you buy cigarettes tomorrow and give them away." "I can't. I'm destined to stay in the countryside for the rest of my life." "Will not." "It's doomed." "If that's the case, you won't get married. If you don't get married, you still have a chance." "But I'm already twenty-eight, and I can't afford to wait." Mei said that if I wait another year, two, or three years, I will be thirty years old. If I return to the city one day, what can a thirty-year-old person do?Now my younger brother has been married for half a year. Mei said that my brother-in-law has been pregnant for four months, and I will be an aunt in a few days. After being an aunt, I am still alone. Thinking about the rest of my life, I am afraid. If my father is not still alive in this world, I really wanted to die on the spot at the recruitment office.Teacher Zhang didn't speak.Teacher Zhang only let out a long sigh.Mei sat on the top of the cliff, looking at Teacher Zhang's face.The sky is blue and white, and there is a cool breeze.She said Tianyuan, you are twenty-nine, why don't you marry me, I really can't go back to the city.Teacher Zhang looked at the crops around him.In the middle of the night, the crop fields appear dark and mysterious.He said that I was afraid of Yamei, and I was afraid that you would leave me again after getting married. The sound of running water under the cliff is loud and clear, and the sound of crops growing is also clear and loud.The voice walks past you, within reach.The scenery is immortal and beautiful, the moonlight is thin and faint, covering them, and there are whispering green whispers everywhere.After sitting like this for a while, Teacher Zhang said go back, take a rest earlier, and go to the county town for the last time tomorrow, maybe you can return to the city with some gifts.Mei said: "Zhang Tianyuan, I want to marry you, I can't bear it anymore." Teacher Zhang stared at Mei's face and said: "You have one last thought." Mei said that I had thought about it a long time ago, and there was no hope of returning to the city in my life.If I stay in this place, I can only marry you, not to mention that we have already had such a thing.If, as people say, you were born entirely for me, then my destiny still has some hidden promises. If it is not for me, I will not beg you.I know I'm not very good looking.In fact, many girls in the country are prettier than me as long as they put on my clothes.But I thought that we would have a good home in the countryside after we got married.I thought you were talented very early on, and you also felt it. I think if you were born in the city, with good parents, your future is boundless.But there is one thing about Zhang Tianyuan, even though we have had that kind of thing, I don’t beg you, you are going to marry me and have a child, even if there is a chance to return to the city, I will not return.After thinking it through, what about going back to the city?It's the same life, not to mention I can't find someone who loves me like you when I go back to the city. Teacher Zhang said you were helpless, why did you finally decide to marry me? May said you suspect that I don't love you as much as you love me? For Mei, Teacher Zhang has long been in love with Mei, but knowing that it is difficult to fulfill his wish for the rest of his life, he has not spoken to him about the marriage.At this moment, Mei made up her own mind, and Teacher Zhang pulled a weed from her side, chewed it in his mouth for a while, and swallowed the bitter taste. To be honest, this really wronged you. I still don’t want to have the chance to return to the city after marriage. Block three columns and four. That night they stayed at the top of the cliff until dawn and the clouds were bright.The desire for love came again, and the golden light illuminated a period of time for them. 43 Yesterday afternoon, Huang drank the noodle soup made by Mr. Zhang, and got many benefits. At least his body shook less, and there was no more pain in his throat.After the day passed Pingnan, there was no more yellow light in the sky.The pervasive darkness is so thick that it cannot be broken.In the leisure time of the twelfth lunar month, you can't find work to do, and the days are also unbearable.Teacher Zhang sent manure to the field.The ash dung from plants and trees does not weigh much on the shoulders, but when it reaches the responsibility field, it is already sweating on the nose and forehead.The road is far away, two miles back and forth.When he picked up the fourth load, he sat on the field to rest, looked at the hillside, and left him alone, thinking that if Huang was not hurt, he would be a companion with him, but now that his son died and his wife died, Huang is also disabled, and his mother is brainless. Thrombosis, a living person is like a dead person, suddenly felt that the world was really ruined by his side, how lonely it was to leave him behind! The baby fell into the water and drowned this summer.I can't enter the grave when I am young, and I temporarily mound in my own field.Teacher Zhang is tired from work and always panting in this field.The baby also seemed to be sitting with him.The same is true today.Teacher Zhang set his eyes on the child's tomb, his eyes were hot.The baby seemed to grow up suddenly, and understood all the difficulties in the world a few years ago.Sleeping at my father's feet at night, holding a pair of big feet warm in my arms, getting up early in the morning, sweeping yellow leaves in the courtyard in autumn and dust in summer.Teacher Zhang sent dung to the field, and he picked up a pair of small baskets after him; Teacher Zhang cut the wheat, and he was busy in the wheat field with a sickle.During the break, Teacher Zhang called, Qiang, to beat my back.His two little hands beat on his shoulders like drums, evenly and forcefully.You don't need to be forced to study at school. If you can't finish your homework, you will definitely not accept your job if you have a meal in front of you.Now, all these trivial things are floating in Mr. Zhang's mind like a bubble, and his mind is full of strong images of his son. The tomb in front of him is a pile of round loess. Strangers passing by can't tell that life is buried there.In the winter season, the leaves fall and the grass withers, and the world is brown and brown.People's hearts are dyed brown and brown.On the small grave mound, there used to be desolate weeds in the past, but now there are a few clumps of hay, sparsely covered, exposing the dry skin on the surface of the grave, wrinkled like an old man's face.Teacher Zhang picked a sprig of dried wormwood from his son's grave and put it in his mouth, chewing out a bitter and astringent taste.The chopstick-like wormwood at the foot of the grave had already been pinched to no branch or tip after he had tasted and chewed it a dozen times.While chewing like this, Teacher Zhang saw that in the past few years, the old mother was standing under the willow tree at the head of the village, holding the willow body with one hand, and curling the other hand around her mouth, calling, forcing—come back for dinner and bake you buns.The sun was shining brightly under the willow trees, and when it was called, the mother's face danced with a flush of family happiness.Or one, or two, definitely no more than three.Qiang jumped out from the field at the entrance of the village and landed in front of his grandma like a sparrow.At night, the moonlight was dim, and there was a deep silence on the village street. It was his mother who came to call Qiang.Mei stood on the rock in front of her house, calling in Mandarin, which is called Manyin by the countrymen, Qiangzi—come back!Qiangzi - come back!At this time, if he didn't bark three times, Qiang definitely wouldn't come back.When I came back, I must have gotten into someone else's pigsty, or cowshed, or haystack.With a straw stick on her head and a body covered in loess, she quietly slipped past Mei.If Mei grabbed it with one hand, it must be that sentence, you want to turn yourself into a pig!Qiang stood timidly beside Mei, when she reached out to hit him, her hand came down slowly from the air, picked up the straw stick from his head, and patted the ashes off his body.It's over.At this time, her eyes will be a little confused, reflecting two moons, a few stars, and a child's face.Sometimes, she would squat down, hold the child's shoulder and say suddenly, do you want to go back to the city? He insisted that I would not go, that I would not leave my father, nor would I leave my grandma. Mei supported the child's shoulders, stared blankly for a while, and said to sleep, if you don't go, mom won't leave either, and mom won't part with your parents.He took the child's hand and went back.There was a clanging sound of doors being latched in the courtyard. Right now, it's all gone.All past events are like smoke and dust.What remained in front of Teacher Zhang was this basket-like grave mound.The first night when Mei left was this summer, the moon was bright, the trees were green, and the stars were dotted in the sky. Mei suddenly said that I wanted to go back to the city, and I wanted to go back and have a look.What do you do if I leave, Teacher Zhang said that you can live, and life is meaningful with Qiang by your side.Mei said it was hard for the child.Teacher Zhang said that it is better to be bitter, but when he grows up, he knows that life is not easy.Mei said that I was afraid that he would not study well, but Mr. Zhang said no, that he could go to university and leave this poor land, and let him go to a college close to your home. Due to the current situation and the economy, she wanted to make some money, so she decided to go back and buy some salable goods from the countryside.Maybe she has something else to tell.Anyway, she's going back.That night, Qiang fell asleep.She sat by his bed until dawn, and Teacher Zhang urged her to go, because she had to catch the first bus.She lowered her head and said that it would be great if our family could go back to the city in the future.Teacher Zhang said, Yamei, do you want to return to the city?On the contrary, she couldn't make a decision, she stroked her son's small face with her hand, and said that I have stayed in Zhangjiaying for nearly twenty years, twenty years, and I will no longer be a person in the city when I return to the city.Just to say, I will not leave Zhangjiaying, the child and you. She didn't expect that she would never see her son again when she left this time.When you take your hands off your child's face, it's a farewell.When Teacher Zhang went to weave a mosquito net for his son, the child suddenly grabbed his hand and said, "I won't let my mother go, I won't let my mother go."It would be fine if we didn't leave.But she turned around and said that Mom went to visit your grandfather and would be back in half a month. At that time, the strong little hands were warm and heart-warming.Right now, it's all cold.The twelfth lunar month froze the grave mound hard, and I am afraid that those little hands have already turned into dry soil that can be crumbled at the touch of a finger.Looking at his son's grave, Mr. Zhang saw a grasshopper that hadn't died yet, struggling on the last stage of its life on the wormwood tree. 44 Standing in front of the cemetery, Teacher Zhang deduced that Yamei had a clear intention of returning home. It seemed that after they had gone through a lot of hardships, boiled a lot of lamp oil, and co-wrote the novel "Happy Homeland" was burned, or something more. Some years later.In short, a fire on the wheat field burned their year's work, burned the 300,000-word manuscript of "Happy Homeland" that they had accidentally placed beside the wire pole, and burned many long-lost rural society. confidence.Looking at the wheat fire that was put out by the villagers, I remembered how many years of hard work I and Yamei had put on the wire pole. When I walked over, I saw that the wire rod had become a three-section wire in the gray and black. Carbon sticks, where is the manuscript of "Happy Homeland"?Later, after several efforts, she took the lead and worked hard to write another third of the manuscript. One day, a letter came from the publishing house saying that the country would launch a campaign to eliminate spiritual pollution, and the publishing plan of "Happy Homeland" was rejected. Once it has been withdrawn, it is hard to say whether the publishing house will be able to keep it.Facing the letter and another stack of manuscripts, Tianyuan saw Yamei cry for the first time.Lying on the bed at night, resting on Tianyuan's arm, and thinking of the year's food turned into ashes, when they were discussing who to borrow food for, she sighed deeply: "I didn't expect that my life would be spent on borrowing food." Perhaps at that time, she had already begun to think of the many benefits of the provincial capital.Comparing the two, of course, the provincial capital does not need to make a living. After January, just go to the grain station to buy grain with your grain book.When they really carry the burden and go to relatives' homes to borrow food and come back, the husband and wife no longer need to discuss everything in "Happy Homeland".What I talked about along the way was how to plant the land well in the coming year, strive to not only have enough food and clothing, but also have a surplus, return food to others, make plans, and see the emotions between husband and wife.But in the coming year, the wind will not adjust the rain and the rain will not go well. Not to mention returning other people's food, even my own rations, I am afraid that it will be precarious.When harvesting corn, she walked in the dry autumn, looked at the thin corn cobs on the table, and said: "Tianyuan, what's going on, I'm suddenly very homesick, and every night I dream of my father's death. Before he died, he pointed at our cornfield, tears streaming down his face, but he couldn't say anything." He said, "Either you go home and have a look." 她说：“回家我就想做些生意。日子逼着，社会也朝这发展得让人瞠目结舌，我们不做些生意，不说人傻人精，你说日子总不能连粮食也东拼西凑。” 45 蚂炸从坟丘的蒿草上走下来，爬上张老师的鞋，爬上张老师的脚。张老师微微一怔，从地上站起来，天色愈发阴沉。乌云流水一样地向西北运行。风也冷的可以，枯草在坟上嗖嗖摆动。曾经一次，儿子强为捉蚂蚱，误了午间的饭时，直到日将西暮，才提一串蚂蚱回家。那时候他欢蹦乱跳，如同生活在阳光照耀的小河中的鱼。今天，这都已成为过去，不像过去的季节。季节无休无止。而儿子却像枯在季节初的幼苗，还没有真正体味春天的滋味，就匆匆去了，更不要说能见夏秋冬三季的风光了。张老师弯下腰，把脚面的蚂蚱捉住，放在儿子坟墓避风面的一个窝里，又从身边揪一把干草盖在蚂蚱身上。权作为送给儿子的玩伴，他想，愿你能同儿子一道安全过冬。就挑起粪筐，转身走了。 若步子快捷，捱黑还能送两担粪来。 回村的路上，张老师见了住村前的张昌旺。昌旺大张老师十余岁，独自孤在路边蹲着，一脸愁事，却说没有什么事情。然张老师从他身边过去很远，他却又叫住张老师，说张老师，我不想活了，日子没法儿过。尔后又说，中饭时候，老大、老二孩娃因分家不均，闹腾起来。老二说他哥比他多分一根檩条，老大说弟比他多分一棵树苗。老二说树苗值多少钱一棵，也不过三块五块，可檩条却值三十五十。老大又说檩条再值钱也是死的，而树是活的，长大了一百二百也能卖。先吵后打，把家里锅都砸了。昌旺说张老师，你识文断字，我就给你一人说，我是真的不想活了。张家营一方小地，数十户人家，各户勺小匙大的事情，都瞒不过村人耳目。张老师知道，昌旺家不仅儿子不孝，儿媳指桑骂槐地对待昌旺也是家常便饭。几间房子分给了孩子，又上有双老，下有幼小，老婆是半疯痴人，日子的那种艰难，非一言能尽。张老师搁下担子，劝说昌旺许多道理，最后说，人活在世上，本来就有许多艰辛，大江大河你都过了，几句争绊还值得短见一场。 “日子，实在没有味道了张老师。” “你死了双老咋办？谁来养活？” “村长不是讲过谁死了替谁将老人送终吗？” 说这话时，昌旺打量着张老师的脸，仿佛责怪他的忘性。可张老师听了这话，心里顿生一个闪晃，突然觉到有一样东西，很贵重的，说不清是灾是福，自己正犹豫时，别人已经有心去将那东西拿回家里。张老师猛然觉到，那东西是自己的，现在昌旺叔要来拿去。他对昌旺说，你千万考虑清楚，你走了一身轻松，上老下小村里照看不错，到底别人替继不了你。婶她疯傻，谁来给老人送水端饭？谁来给老人缝补拆洗？你的孩娃为分家闹个天翻，哪还有这份孝心。 “我想的也是这个。” 路前是麦田片片，绿油油很见生机。昌旺家的地正对着他们。昌旺舍得在田里落力施肥，那小麦就肥头大耳，绿成极厚的黑色，明显摆出与众不同的势力，好像三朝两日，就打算泛浆扬花。望着好些土地，昌旺就如望着往后日子的光明。他不停地吸烟，也不停地叹气，末尾就如明洞了人生似的，说咳呀，人在世上，受不完的罪呵。 又给昌旺说了一些道理，那道理多是书本上印刷的话语，初听时很能感人，仔细去想，多半也是搪塞人的谎话。最后离开昌旺叔，连张老师自己都不知道到底讲了什么，那些话对人世有多少语意。他走时昌旺叔还在那孤单坐着，阴天低垂，扣在昌旺叔的头上。回村走下梁路，要穿一片槐林。林地在腊月，萧条得伤心，一片树木没有一丝绿色，连枯叶也不挂树枝。林地里的路是随树稀疏而弯，扭扭绕绕，极像一挂鸡肠。林里有乌鸦的叫声，沙哑黑暗，响起来吵醒世界。落下去林地又一片死寂。张老师在林地弯着步子，觉得格外地对不住昌旺叔。怎么就料到活着定比死了要好？昌旺叔的日月，能找到一束光泽，他已决然不会想到去死。家庭中鸡零狗碎的不快，伤了昌旺叔多少活心，想死的念头，决非今日产生。人在世间，谁没有上百次思想生死，无非都没有实施的勇气罢了。或者说，没有机会而已。这种想死的种子，都是在日常起居中播下，平素处于隐伏状态，到了有风有雨，是随时都要复萌。小李村的人被张家营打死了，明日公安局来张家营领走凶手。领走的是凶手，留下的却是烈士。昌旺叔果真如此，撒手而去，那该是一种轻快。可惜他做事缺少主断，被张老师一席话，劝得退让三步。张老师这时才想到，人却是这样自私，连死也要通力去争。他有些庆幸昌旺叔对日子的留恋，也感到是自己断了人家前程。虽说是死，却是替村人解难慷慨，让张家营铭记后世，也让张家营接过死者摆脱不掉的困扰。 可是，昌旺叔退却了，他对人生还恋有偏爱。 怀着一丝惬意，张老师如得了什么，又逃了什么，心中那带些怪怨的轻快，仿佛萌发的草坡，一时间绿厚起来，终于就青草茵茵，一派盎然的生机。走出林地，来到村口，胡同中围了许多村人。人群中有女人的哭叫，有男人愤愤的骂咧。走至人群边上，寻着缝隙望去，才见大冈的女人，在抱着大冈的腿哭。大冈的女儿，是张老师教过的学生，因为爹的生意忙乱，要做一把帮手，读到十岁就退学回家，这一会也拉着爹的袄角，泪流涟涟，又默不作声。大冈却不哭，坐在一块石头上大叫，说村长他妈的说话不做数了，我去找他，说是我砍死了小李村的人，他说我前几天打架压根不在家，说我是怕还信用社的贷款才想到了死。他妈的，生意赔了，弄得连死都不成，我去哪弄两万块钱还账啊！ 46 人虽然敦敦笃笃，可也有怒火中烧的时候。怒火中烧便招致了大祸临头。 村长家被招呼开了门，走出一个微胖的女子，身上穿着很厚的棉袄。这才明白，村长家请了保姆，原来并不是谣传。村长的孙子老么都已八岁，是用不着照看的，村长的媳妇也才人至中年，无病无灾，又不常下田走地，做饭又是好手。据说这保姆曾帮人开过饭庄，转眼之间，能烧出十几个菜来，略加整制，就是一桌酒席。这一点就强了村长媳妇。不消说人也年轻，富有水色，洗衣也更有气力。村长家有洗衣机，可村里除了过年过节，却总是停电。这一点村长没有办法，县长也无可奈何。有保姆便解放了村长媳妇。保姆毕竟年轻，脸上含着许多水嫩，看上去也顺心可意。问她村长在家吗？她没有说话，回屋去了一会，出来说让你进去了。 村长家承包了一个砖窑，没人敢包的时候村长包了，应验了识时务者为俊杰那句老话。眼下那砖窑已经发展为砖厂，不仅四邻八村盖房要用那砖，就连县委县政府盖办公大楼，也得来砖厂拉货。更要紧的是，村人能做生意者无几，其余皆在砖厂做工。这砖厂给村长家带了多少收入，村人向不过问，确实因为砖厂，村人才大都盖了瓦房，却是铁的事实。因此村人拥戴村长如同拥戴一个党和救命菩萨。把国家对人的教育具体化、实在化了，这也是乡村只能有的做法。进了村长家，上了楼去，村长极平易近人地让保姆倒了茶水，把通红的碳火推到会客室的中央，说有事？ 说没啥儿事。 屋里暖洋洋的，让人瞌睡。楼外的腊月，却是冷到公平，无论山上、梁背还是张家营别人的住户，都阻挡不了腊月的到来。村长坐在藤椅上，打了一个哈欠，笑笑说不会没事吧，才如实地告诉村长说： “是我砍了小李村的人头。” 村长端起保姆倒的茶，吹吹漂浮的红叶，咂了一口。 "No way." “是真的。” “你有那份儿胆？” “一时失手，哪想到人就死了呢。” "What are you going to do?" “杀人偿命，我不连累咱张家营。” 村长在屋里走了几个来回，最后站在窗前，凝目而视窗外的天空，说这是去死，少说也是无期徒刑，你可要想清楚，趁现在公安局的人还没有到，把话收回还来得及。想了想，村长又说，来投案不是你一人，他们都说是一时失手，哪儿想到人就死了呢。也都说杀人偿命，不连累张家营。我思前想后，让别人走了好些，留下你村里还有用些。村长的话慢慢晃晃，带着一丝丝暖气，飘过来却使人感到像穿壁的冷风袭向心坎。想既然好不容易地来了，成了这个角色，那么，就如唱戏似的往下演唱再说。顺着命运所示的方向，尽自己的胆略往前走吧。于是，忙不迭儿跪将下来，哀求说： “村长，你让我死了去吧！” 村长没有回头，审问似的问人到底是不是你砍的？想说是，又怕村长料定不是，反弄巧成拙，倒不如索性诚实，博得村长一份怜悯，成全了期望也许更好。默过一阵，嗫嚅着说，人不是我砍的，可我是诚心不想活了，你就把这机遇赐给我吧。然而事情，孰料适得其反。村长转过身来，脸上硬了腊月的冰清，说看不出你一个笃笃实实的文弱书生，谎话说出来和真的一模一样。老婆走了，再娶一个；孩娃死了，再生一个；老娘病了，到我的砖厂借钱去治。这一点小事就想短见，那还算个男人！不是我不让你去死，你死了清凉寺小学咋办？孩娃们谁来教他们识字？上边来查孩娃们上学率我怎么交待？回吧回吧。村长连连摆手，去床上披他的羊毛军用大衣。那大衣是村里的一个退伍兵送给村长的。退伍兵在新疆服役，用退伍费给村长买了这件大衣。村长安排他在砖厂做推销员。村长穿大衣时背对张老师，嘴里直说回吧回吧，以为张老师已经走了，又去柜里从容地取烟，合柜，转过身却看见张老师依然跪在那里。 “起来吧，你这套刚才还见过，大冈来和你一样，说不让去死就跪着不起来，我踢了他一脚，他才从这滚出去。” 张老师依然跪着不动，仿佛把戏被人看穿了，脸上是青一块紫一块的羞愧。连刚才说的许多话也都在村长面前片片青紫，失却了原来的颜色。本来是真的，被人看作了假的，就只有把心割出来，血淋淋摆在面前让人信以为真。望着村长那一张生气的却是游戏的脸，张老师觉到血管流的不再是血，而是红彤彤的火。他咬了咬嘴唇，忽然取一把刀子，冷光寒寒地抵在自己心口，说村长，你让不让我死我都死定了，你不成全我那只好我自己成全自己了，只求你明天公安局来领人，你说一句我是畏罪自杀就行了…… 47 似睡似醒地躺着，疑是蜻蜓的翅膀在一片儿一片儿飘飞，却原来是旋落的雪花，绵绵地舞满了窗外。原来雪竟下了一夜。被雪染湿的夜间，黑和白匹配得天衣无缝，混成一种濛濛的颜色，流溢在山梁上、村落里。夜就是这样如期降临的。倘若是人，也许早就死了，料不到黄竟有这么硬的生命。从田里回来，它还卧在床上，进房时，方才发现钥匙落在了床上。张老师用竹棍去床上挑那钥匙，挑来挑去，反掉到了床下。准备在竹竿上绕一钩儿去钓，找了铁丝回来，却见黄衔着那门上的钥匙，爬在门缝边上哼叫。从门缝取过钥匙，打开屋门，张老师就抱着黄坐在门口看那落雪，直到地上铺就一层薄白。到天空成为深邃的黑色，才想起该烧夜饭。如果梅没走，娘没病，儿子还在人间，这个时候早已吃过晚饭，生一盆旺火，一家人围火而坐，聊出一堆闲话了。就是晚饭慢了一步，儿子也要有几串叫饿的抱怨。现在这些都没了，娘不省人事，脑血栓把她的身体送到了另一世界，可是呼吸还用着人间的气流。还明明活着的黄，却如死了无二，饥饿也不声张。若黄在人前、院内走动走动，还显出一个家的活气，可是截了双腿，连递出一个钥匙，也要艰难地爬着了。 日子是彻底地一落千丈啦。 烧饭，喂娘，喂黄，洗锅刷碗，机械地做完这些事情，倒在床上便睡，一下也竟沉进了可怕的梦里。若不是黄从床上跌落一样爬下，摔出咚的一声闷响，他就真要死在了梦里的村长家，成全了自己突然产生的期冀。黄去小便。黄一步一步爬着，极力想让后腿站立起来，终于未成，卧在地上歇了一气，就用前爪用力抓着地面蠕动。张老师忍不下心去，便点亮油灯，将黄抱至门外。雪已经很厚，绒绒白着。也冷得可以。张老师萎着身子，黄在他胸前颤颤发抖。将黄放在屋檐下的干地，黄竟有能耐，果真用后腿支着，解了小溲。黄小溲时候，后腿短了一截，站立的姿势如坐在地上仰问天空无二。 再抱回黄睡时，张老师已经毫无睡意。 Lights went out.黄静静卧着。朦胧的雪光，在窗上跳着很古典的舞步。张老师感到有无边的孤寂。床是那样的大，如是浩漫的天空在他身下。梅和强在时，有时他们分睡，让儿子睡到厢房，有时因冷或为了合家亲热，都挤拥在一张床上，觉得那床窄小得如一扇门板。屋里黑死死的颜色浇在张老师的眼上。他伸出左胳膊，没有摸着床里的墙壁，伸出右胳膊，又没有摸到床边。他如同漂在黑沉沉的海面一样寂寞孤独。 那年，孩子如期而至。她想要男孩，果真生了男孩。房子也如愿地直立在了村里。簇新的青瓦一个一个扣在天空，墙壁四角是砖垒的柱子。解放前的时候，张家营没有地主，也没有匪户，不曾有过瓦屋；解放后几十年，原因诸多，依然是没有瓦屋。梅主持着盖起了张家营第一座瓦房，全村人都立在房前仰望。那时候，梅虽是省会郑州出生的城里人，生活却已经把她磨砺成地道的农民，至少从表面说来。她爱坐在院里树下，抱着她的孩子，凝望这三间瓦屋。凝望的专注，叫人怀疑那神情是装出来的。有了孩子，有了房子，她说这才算有了实在的家。一年春天，她带着孩子回城看望父亲。四年没有回去，在学校请了半月的假，却只在家里住了三天，回来说家里还是没地方睡觉，三天都是住在街道的招待所，一夜两元的费用，长期住着，如何受得这样的开销。原来是家里的老房，弟弟结婚用了，连父亲都又搬回工厂的工具房。户口远在乡下的女儿回来，哪就那么容易地有了宿处。就是那次回去，政府有了知青全部返城的文件，争取她的意见，她毅然说： “我不回了。一辈子不回了。” 夜里，风也微微，月也微微。村里人都在街上纳凉。强被他奶引在村头树下听古，院里静着他们夫妻，说了一些学校的课程，商量了两项改进教学的办法，张老师突然说，梅，我觉得你脸上满是心事。她说没呀。他说你瞒不过我。她就说我的同学们都回城了，却又没有工作。而立的年龄，终日在街上转悠晃荡。我们在街上兑钱吃了一顿饭，大家抱头哭了一场。是人见了，都说返城的知青在乡下呆傻了，连过马路走人行横道都不知道了。张老师说，梅，你心里想的不是这。 梅说：“是的。是觉得命运不济。” 张老师说：“你觉得回城好了，你回。” 梅说：“你不留恋我？” 张老师说：“我若做得了主，我死也不会让你回。” 有你这句话就足了。梅说不贪图别的，只贪图能有情爱，加上这房子和孩子，比起我的那些返城的同乡，算计算计，我比他们幸福许多，至少我有这个结结实实的家。那一夜他们就是这样说的。夫妻过了多少岁月，花前月下的激情早已耗去，剩余的就是理智的有意的温暖，然在那一夜，他拉她手时，她还一样哆嗦发抖。偎在他的肩头，望着新起的房屋，呢喃说人生不怕没有别的，最怕没有爱情。大都市的生活，没有爱情，没有家庭，人更显孤独。在乡村有家有爱，人生一样充实。我是死心塌地要做乡下人了，生生死死都和你同儿子在一起，生是张家营的人，死做张家营的鬼。