Chapter 11 Three thousand six hundred and fifty days of a couple

Husband, 1966, 26 years old, worker of a machinery factory in T City Wife, 20 years old in 1966, a worker in a machinery factory in T City Here's what the couple shared: Married on New Year's Day in 1968--Living together for 60 days, misfortune came out of her mouth--After the house was ransacked, she used 17 yuan to support the three generations--The military representative forced her to divorce with bad intentions--Several correspondences inside and outside the prison--She Waiting for him for 3,650 days with untold hardships--His Strange Revenge Husband: I really don't want to mention that incident. We are also avoiding mentioning it now.As long as you mention it, you won't want to sleep for a few nights.Not to mention her, me too.Besides, what's the use of always mentioning it? Isn't it telling us to look forward and put all the blame on the "Gang of Four".Everything in the past is settled.There are too many people who have suffered, and now no one wants to talk about it.But I thought again, the suffering we have suffered can’t just be wiped away in vain, isn’t it? I told you, write it down, and when it is printed in a book, we will keep our suffering Come down, when the time comes, let future generations see it too, ah, ah.

To tell you the truth, I spent ten years in prison for no reason, and I really feel that there is no shadow.My wife has been waiting for me for ten years, and she has suffered a lot; she is more wronged and unlucky than me.There is her, a woman. No matter how hard my suffering is, I am a man, but it is difficult for her.Tell me, she was only in her early twenties at that time, and she was pretty; you see, I also brought a photo of her at that time.She was alone with an old father who was paralyzed and a newborn child. She was considered a counter-revolutionary family, and her father was a capitalist. Was it easy to survive those ten years? She waited for me for a full ten years.Among us prisoners, more than 90% of them are divorced; it can be said that everyone who goes in stays with each other; there are also suicides, murderers, and crazy ones because of divorce, and there are too many.When she came to visit the prison, everyone in the same room envied me. At first I dared not tell anyone that she was my wife, but only my younger sister; At that time, how could I know that one day the "Gang of Four" would fall, and I would be rehabilitated. Wouldn't it be a counter-revolutionary to wait ten years? Isn't it a "rebel", what good is it? Not to mention that she has been subjected to so much political pressure and Economically impoverished.She is so young and beautiful, she has other ways to go without waiting for me.So I think she is a typical example of a strong Chinese woman, and I am very proud, and I can tell everyone the same.

My experience is okay, there are others who are more miserable than me, and there are also people who are more wronged than me. I have seen a lot.There were a lot of people who went to prison for a sentence in those days, and most of the current counter-revolutionary crimes were committed in our place alone.There is a prisoner in our house, who used to be the chairman of the Poor Peasants Association. He was charged with going down the mountain to buy a plaster statue of Chairman Mao in the market. At that time, it was not called buying, it was called "please treasure statue". "Please".The thing was quite heavy, and the mountain path was not easy to navigate, so he tied it around the neck of the plaster statue with a hemp rope, two at the front and two at the back, and he just carried it on his back and drove on.I didn't expect to be arrested before the collection was released. Well, the "active counter-revolutionaries" were arrested immediately, and the family was not released. They were sent to prison for five years.Do you think it’s unfair? There’s also a young man who climbed to the top of the department store to take two pictures, wanting to take a picture of the city’s appearance. Now it’s nothing!But that night was not good, because he was suspected of engaging in "secret activities", so he was also locked up.Later, a handkerchief of mine was given to my wife by him, so it was preserved.Wife: No, that handkerchief was used to cover his head when he was beaten on the day of his accident. He was beaten with the point of an angle iron. The head was not anywhere else. The handkerchief was full of blood.You see, I brought it, how ruthless it is, even the handkerchief has so many holes, ordinary people can do it?

Husband: You haven’t seen anything more ruthless than this, yes.Not to mention anything else, I can't tell what's going on in this place. Isn't it forbidden to beat people in the Public Security Bureau? But I saw them beat people with my own eyes.Good guy, I can't get rid of it with handcuffs, so I tied it with thick wire, and then twisted it with vise.Think about it, the flesh on the wrist is not completely broken, how could it withstand such a twist, and then small maggots grew all over it, white ones.Blind, don't mention those things, there are too many.I said let's focus on her.She is bitterer than me, more typical.There are too many counter-revolutionaries like me, but not many like her.Her stuff, after a hundred years, let’s put it bluntly, no matter where people look at it, they will think it’s worth writing because it’s true.The persecution she suffered was all based on real evidence, with names and surnames and places, and we are not afraid to write it in the "People's Daily". fall down.Anyway, my adults and children are reunited, which is considered the best result.Right? Some people’s wives get divorced, their children are taken away, and their house is occupied by others, but she still lives across from you; don’t you have to touch your face every day, how do you feel? I say you write and write about me Wife, don’t write about me; highlight her, just let her meet those people and those things. According to the words at the time, things on the soul should be dissected and dissected.Regardless of whether he is a leader or a military representative, there are still things that are not good. On the surface, it looks like an individual contest, but in fact, what is in his heart, others don't know, but we know.

Let's get started.I was born as a worker, and I am also a worker, a fitter. Before the "Cultural Revolution", he was the head of production in the workshop.I am born with a straight temper, you can tell my temper just by looking at my words, so you don't need to describe it too much.I don't want to curry favor with the leaders when I'm playing, I like to stand on the side of the workers in the workshop and speak for everyone.Sometimes it is good to give some advice to the leader. This is called "offending", so it is a bit contradictory with the boss.They said that I was not close to the organization, and since the "Cultural Revolution", they have tried to find fault with me.

I felt that they had premeditated all the tricks on me, as if everything had been planned, and they came all at once.My son just said something wrong. It was a joke. I said it to a good buddy when I was drinking. This buddy usually talks about everything without distinguishing between you and me.At that time, I said a few words of dissatisfaction with the "Cultural Revolution", saying that Zhu Yuanzhang became the emperor and killed all the heroes below. I didn't expect him to report my words to the higher authorities.At that time, everyone was in a mess, and no one knew what had happened.But he is in the dark, I am in the light, I don't know.This happened on the night of March 1, 1968. On the second day, a meeting was held and it was suddenly announced that I was revenge from the counter-revolutionary class. I found out and said that my background as a worker was that of a capitalist.There are still changes in my background, but this is how I can be called "class revenge".This family background is determined by the big-character poster, and I don’t know who wrote it. Anyway, there is a lot of people beating it, and you don’t have the right to tell it apart. "Class revenge" is heavier than pure counter-revolutionary crime.Well, it didn’t matter much at first, it was still a civil war; then the military representative commanding on the stage shouted: "We want civil war, not violent war", and all of them came up, this is the secret signal they agreed in advance, understand? A shout is about to start a fight.But it's all for real, it's a real fight, not a fake one, and it's unambiguous when you pick up those iron guys.I didn't see clearly who they were, anyway, they came right away.I didn't see it well, so I quickly took out my handkerchief and covered my head. They used triangle irons and iron bumps, and they just smashed them.It didn't look like much blood on the surface, but it was called a soft injury, and it was the worst, and it came to the head, and it beat me to death.I clutched my head desperately, the handkerchief was so torn.My ear is still deaf to this day, it was also hit that night, and it is still buzzing and ringing.Later, I was knocked out, so I don’t know. They tied me up with a big wire, so I don’t know; I might have been sent to the detention center.

Wife: I went to the meeting that day. I was in the same factory as my husband. I was there. It must be a meeting of the Revolutionary Committee. It seems so.I didn't dare to look and couldn't see when they beat him.At that time, my heart was pounding, so I went out, walked out of the venue, I wanted to go home, I wanted to go, I could go anywhere, I didn’t want to stay, and I couldn’t stay any longer.But as soon as I went out, I saw a person, that is the woman from the Revolutionary Committee, the director, she stared at me and refused to let me go out, so I knew, and what happened afterwards, I knew that they were in collusion and premeditated .When I got home, a neighbor told me that the boss just brought your lover back from the factory. Did he have a car accident? I went to the house to see that it was full of blood, that blood...

In fact, I later thought that if he hadn’t been arrested that time and was still in the factory, he would have to be caught in the subsequent movement to clean up the class ranks; I have to be disabled.If these people do not achieve their goals, they will not be counted. Husband: My affairs will all be cleared up in 70 years.I was born as a worker, not a capitalist, and I am not a counter-revolutionary.But those gangsters in the garrison and the Revolutionary Committee refused to admit their mistakes!In order to maintain the reputation of the Revolutionary Committee, no redress will be given.Besides, the boy surnamed X in the garrison has not yet achieved his personal goal. He wants to marry my wife.Prison doesn't care, of course.At that time, the prison was like a warehouse, we were not treated as living people, it was like picking up goods.The person in charge of our prison said, I don't care if you come out or go in, as long as you bring the bill of lading, I will release you; if you don't have the bill, you can stay here.That's all he said.I've been here for ten years.When I came out, my sister looked at the two "judgment papers" and said that with these two papers, he tore people apart.Just two sheets of paper!I brought it here, you see how sloppy the judgment is, this word, you see, just stroke it casually, it's really not as serious as the warehouse bill of lading.The person in charge of the prison said, "We don't care. Just go in and out. You don't want to make trouble. If anyone doesn't want to live, he will commit suicide. I don't even have to write an inspection. Anyone who wants to die can die. I don't care."

I complained more than 20 times, but no one answered me.After he came out, he wanted to go back to work in the factory. The director of the Revolutionary Committee said that he wanted to come back, so he broke his leg first.I just refused to accept it, and I would not lend money.No job, no salary, no house after the earthquake, our house was already occupied by them, it was called "compression" at that time.This kind of thing is done by street activists.The houses of those who have problems have to be compressed.Free the house, they move in.I got married in two rooms, and Leng told my wife to move out and give them another small shabby house.It broke again during the earthquake.I let it out to implement it, and my spirits were quite high. I went to the housing management station to take care of the house at noon on New Year's Eve. Those people at the housing management station are really good.As soon as I said it, he said that I was not in charge of the implementation, and that the one who was in charge of the implementation did not come to rest today.Go again in a few days and return this set.It was only later that I found out that he was in charge of implementation.It hasn't been resolved until today, so don't talk about it.Can the implementation fall on the heads of ordinary people like us? At most, it falls on the heads of celebrities and leading cadres.They're facades, aren't they!

Wife: I still remember that it was fifty-three days after the birth of the child, because the maternity leave was only fifty-six days, and I was about to go to work. The child was sick, and it was winter, because it was too cold in the house, and I got pneumonia.I'm only twenty years old, I've never played with a child, I don't understand, he didn't make a fuss all night, and I thought he was very good; in fact, he had no energy to make trouble that night.The next day I saw that my mouth was blue, and I had to go to the doctor! But I had no money, and I had no money to see a doctor, and it was not easy to borrow from others, and the neighbors did not dare to deal with a family like ours.At that time, I really felt that the child was hopeless and would not survive. I was so anxious that my mother-in-law called.Just when the "newest instructions" came, the whole city was closed for work, and there was a big parade. Isn't that what happened back then?My mother-in-law came after answering the phone and walked for a long time, several hours, so she was delayed; she was sent to the Children's Hospital for emergency treatment after she arrived.At that time, there was really no money.I remember when I was still pregnant, I went to his mother’s house, and I always walked back and forth. It was such a long distance, and it took a few hours to walk, but I had no money, and I didn’t have money to take a car.

After my husband was imprisoned, he was first in the detention center, and I was worried all day long, for fear that he would contradict someone because of his blunt temper, and fear that the public justice conference would give him a heavy sentence and send him to a distant place.If he's going to jail in the city, can't I still see him often?Can't we see each other for at least a month?Being able to look at it is also a kind of mutual comfort, I thought at the time.I'm afraid that he will be sent to Qinghai and Tibet, then I really can't stand it.At that time, I felt that these criminals were like actors. There were dozens of them in each district. The factory, rushing back and forth.Hold a meeting, bring them up, read the charges, and then read the verdict.Go to one place once.The public judgment is also to frighten people, to suppress them, and to frighten timid and honest people like us. Husband: At that time we were repairing handcuffs in the prison, one basket after another; there were too many people arrested, one hundred people were arrested.Speech is the most powerful thing. Maybe a sentence or a sentence is wrong, and it gets in. There are too many people like me.She wants me not to cause trouble. Of course I understand that if the trouble is serious, I will feel sorry for her even more.I was with a few prisoners locked together...these people are familiar with each other, can take care of each other, and have a small world; because they are all locked in with this kind of problem, and their conduct is good.Later we were all friends, and now we still walk around a lot. Wife: We were married in 1968 in the Gregorian calendar, and he passed away on March 2 of that year.We have only spent a total of sixty days together.During the ten years he served in prison, I relied entirely on the memories of my honeymoon and my trust in him to survive.These three thousand six hundred and fifty days, I really counted them day by day.I am 20 years old, I have just graduated from school, just started living, and I have encountered such a ruthless fate. My husband has become an active counter-revolutionary overnight. I really can’t accept it emotionally.The army representative named X colluded with the director of our Revolutionary Committee, that woman, and made a good plan a long time ago to punish my husband and make me divorce him, using all kinds of means.Now that I think about it, I really don’t know how I got over it back then.Maybe I'm still a stubborn person, although it doesn't look like it on the surface. As soon as my husband left, he ransacked the house six times in a row, confiscating all the gifts from others when we first got married, such as quilts, blankets, and clothing materials; It's gone, it's all gone, it's gone.They even held some kind of exhibition with the copied things.I ransacked my house a few times later, and I became numb. Just copy these things as you like, and they have nothing to do with me.I can't hate them either. They were born well, and they even gave their lives to defend the red regime.Let them behave, let them revolutionize.What I feel lucky is that my husband and I left a precious gift, which is our later child Xiaodong.When our child was born, grandma said that his father was called Zhuzi, and there should be a stone under the pillar, so let’s call him Shishi, Shi; it happened that the person who worked on the project was named Shi, and he put up a big-character poster saying that he would name the child Shi, It's about remembering the incident of the special case, remembering the hatred of the person surnamed Shi, this name can't be called anymore.Later, he said it was called Dongdong, but refused to let it go, saying that you remembered "Dongfanghong ×× Factory", no, you have to change it.I got annoyed and got stubborn.Later, people said to change it, so let’s change it. The child’s name is just a mark, why let them go on forever? It also saves them trouble.I'll just call it Dongdong, it's only born in winter.At that time, they would trouble you no matter what you did.No matter what is wrong, you can find the fault.I can cut hair and cut clothes. Because I have no money, I make clothes for children by hand. The comrades who work with me ask me to help with it. If it doesn’t look good, I’m not happy. criticize me.It's the same with my haircut. If you don't cut it well, you say you don't work hard. After you cut it, you criticize me and "fix".I use my husband's original lunch box with his name on it, and they say I can't draw the line.At that time, everything in the house was confiscated, even the thermos, and there was no money to buy new ones. Can these old lunch boxes be thrown away? When Xiaodong was born, she wasn't even given a bedding.My newborn baby and I slept on bare boards.The only consolation is to put my husband's letter under the pillow, let him be closer to me, and let him enjoy a little happiness of having a child.I believe that as long as he is sincere, he will feel it. Husband: I received a letter from her saying that she was going to give birth next month and she couldn't come to see me. I really felt like I had turned a five-flavored bottle in my heart, and I really couldn't tell what it was like.The news came too suddenly to me, and I was about to become a father without any mental preparation.But what can I bring to my wife and unborn child, as long as I let him come out, he will be a counter-revolutionary child.It's all my fault, I hate myself so much, I feel so sorry for their mother and daughter, I think her letter looks like it was written in blood, I don't know that it was copied like that at home, and all relatives don't recognize anyone ;Her father is paralyzed and can't help her much. She depends on her apprentice's salary of seventeen yuan a month. How can she live in that day! Think about it, seventeen yuan, a few mouthfuls, and buy me some cigarettes Yeah. Wife: The child is our spiritual pillar. Every time he falls asleep, I always love to watch him carefully. He smiles and sleeps exactly like his father.I always spend the night with tears, looking at my son and thinking about those things in the past.He always wrote to say that he always dreamed of Xiaodong.For some reason, their father and son have never lived together, but when Xiaodong was a child and was not very sensible, he and I visited his father in prison. The father and son have a very good relationship, probably because of blood relationship.Whenever there is something good to eat, the child always thinks about his father.One year when the fireworks were set off in the National Day Square, Xiaodong asked me if my father could see the fireworks. My grandma said that I could see them, so he was so happy.The family is poor, but his father always wonders if the child hasn't taken a picture for several months. He wants the picture and puts it in the quotation book. He said he secretly looks at it every day.I also took the child to take pictures, so that he can always see the new appearance of the child. Husband: I once watched the movie "Sparkling Red Star" in prison. Isn't there a Dongzi in it? I miss our little Dong very much.There was one incident that left a deep impression on me. I made a mistake that time, so I was punished and not allowed to meet my family members.In fact, the so-called making a mistake is to say a few words from the heart to the prisoner in the same room, or it means that there is resentment in my heart and I dare not accept it, so I dare to say it in private.This means that I am not aware of my crimes, so I am not allowed to meet with my family.It turned out that we Xiaodong came to see me with his mother that time, so the child came here with illness.Because I can't afford apples at ordinary times, I only eat them when I am sick, but the child insists on bringing apples for his father to eat.He didn't see me and left the apple behind.I looked at the apple and felt very uncomfortable.I thought, my father is too disappointing.The better they treat me, the more uncomfortable I am. I am so sorry for their mother and son!But thanks to their long-lasting relationship, they helped me get through those years.What a year!They only meet with me once a month, for 15 minutes. Sometimes we can’t say a word, and the meeting is chaotic, and I can’t hear anything. I just smile. In fact, I have a lot of things to say. I don’t know what to say, okay, I always feel that there are a lot of things in my smile, and I feel guilty. I think I have to reform it and return to them as soon as possible. This is better than talking nicely. Every time I see my child grow taller again, I am very happy in my heart.Every time he looks, every little move, every sentence, I try my best to write down, and when I am alone, I just think about it and recall these, which is my greatest pleasure.He always asked me, "Dad, why don't you go home?" "Dad, can you take me to the park?" I didn't know how to answer him.But for such a "bad" father like me, he has so much affection.Once I was sick and hospitalized, and my son visited me with his mother and grandma. This was the only special visit and he could speak freely. I hugged my son for the first time, and he was very happy.When I left, the adults were walking forward, but the child was walking backwards, looking at me, smiling at me, and waving at me, until I walked out of the gate and couldn't see it.Are you saying this doesn't gouge out my heart! Wife: The children are so happy now. They play with electric toys and all kinds of new things, but we, Xiaodong, never touched such things when we were young.Others dare not contact our counter-revolutionary family members, they cannot find a child care provider, and they cannot afford child care fees.I shut him up in the cabin and went to work.Once, the neighbor lady told me that when your children are thirsty, they lick the icicles on the mop.The child has nothing to play with.All the other children wore new clothes during the Chinese New Year, and his cousins ​​all had new clothes to wear, but no one thought of buying one for Dongdong.I made him a new pair of cloth shoes, they were so beautiful.That day when I came home from get off work, I saw my father lighting a room full of small candle stubs, and Xiaodong and I were watching the candles burning, because the child had no toys, I was very sad. During the Chinese New Year, everyone is happy.I always leave a portion of the New Year's Eve dinner for my husband, and my children also put delicious food in Dad's bowl for Dad to eat.We are not celebrating the New Year, we are being tortured! Once someone gave my child a bird, and the child asked me, "Does the bird have parents?" I said, "Of course." I suddenly found that the child was crying. Take the little bird home, and it will never see its father like me." In the end, he opened his little hand and let the little bird fly.This child, do you think God is God? At that time, because my father was a capitalist, he was paralyzed and had to go to labor reform.One time he was asked to peel onions, but the kitchen knife was lost and buried in a pile of onion skins; people insisted that he was hiding to kill people, class revenge, you said he is an old man who can't walk easily, how can he kill people? Someone? He searched and searched, couldn't find it, and was so anxious that he burst into tears; finally, I helped him find it under a pile of onion skins.Every month, he wraps all the steel pipes in paper, and counts the pennies. He can buy whatever he wants, and he only eats meat for 20 cents on the day of wages, all referring to my seventeen yuan wages; The handles were dismantled and sold, and some flour was exchanged for the children.I am not afraid of hard life, hard work, and hard work at home; I only want a quiet life, but who knows that such a request cannot be fulfilled-- The director of the revolutionary committee in our factory and the representative of the garrison conspired to get me divorced. At the beginning, they pulled me every day. At that time, I really couldn't think of it.After a lot of thought, they managed to find my biological mother, whom I didn't even know about.My biological mother was a poor peasant who was very poor in the countryside. She sold me to my father who is now a capitalist.They said that I was a descendant of poor and lower-middle peasants, and I couldn’t just leave it alone. They asked me to divorce my lover and draw a line with my capitalist father (he treated me like his own because he had no children).The woman who was the director of the Revolutionary Committee said, if you get divorced, I can help you with house issues, party membership, and marriage issues, all of which are covered by me.The garrison surnamed X was completely promoted by a rural soldier. He chased me every day, pestered me, talked to me all day long, and refused to let me go to the workshop to work.Whenever there is a meeting, he will come to me, and some activists will also ask me to go to listen together. Everyone wonders what happened between him and me. He doesn't care about the influence, and always looks for me in front of many people.The director of the Revolutionary Committee said that the house has been found for you, just waiting for your revolutionary action, saying that the party is responsible for me.My mother and my elder brother were brought here by him through great efforts in the countryside. He held a meeting to remind my mother of suffering, and even organized study classes for me to work for me. He said that only by getting a divorce can I prove that I have returned to the people. After drawing a clear line, he said that you are our class sister, how can you ignore it.What he said was not level. He said that he went to the toilet at night, and he couldn’t sleep all night thinking about me when he came back. He said that I was still young and there was still a long way to go. I found it annoying and ridiculous. My mother from the countryside also persuaded me to leave, and my brother also said, even if I leave first, I am afraid that I will suffer too much. Once, I asked my mother to hold a memory meeting, and she ran away overnight. She couldn't bear to see me suffer again.She also hated the director of the Revolutionary Committee to death.The director of the Revolutionary Committee said he had covered my marriage to the end, so he hinted at the army representative.They help each other, and they all benefit from it.This garrison is going to marry a girl from a big city, and after being demobilized, he doesn't have to go back to the countryside. The director of the Revolutionary Committee helps him with this, so he can stay alive and get promoted.Later, the three unions, the two of them joined in, and both became the leaders of the factory. For a while they pushed me too hard.Every day when I came back very late, my father was waiting for me at home with hemiplegia, fearing that something might happen to me, once he cried and wanted to go to Beijing to file a complaint.I can't stand it either.Write to my husband and say divorce for the time being.Waiting for him to get divorced, wouldn't the pressure be less? He wrote back to me as soon as he received the letter.I still have this letter.look-- The situation is constantly changing, and if one wants to adapt one's thinking to the new situation, one has to study. Hello ××(wife's name): I have officially learned that you are planning to sever ties with me, which is very good.Your decision is understandable.I strongly support your action.I myself am not going to make any fuss on the issue of divorce, because the initiative is in your hands.I'm a prisoner and I only want children.As far as I am concerned, children are my sustenance and hope for the rest of my life.I can't help but think about my old age.I have no intention of finding another stepmother for my child now.Even in the future, I will definitely not have these thoughts.I'm not a person who backtracks on my promises, and you know that.Besides, you can imagine what will happen to me after ten years of leaving.If you plan to have a child, you will have more and better conditions to consider in the future. You can still have children, but I am different.So I have a request for this.In short, I will treat these issues correctly.I wish you the best of luck on the path you have chosen. ××× (husband’s name) April 28, 1971 I feel very sad in this confidence. Although we have a good relationship, after all, we have been together for a short time and separated for a long time. There is no opportunity to communicate with each other.How could I marry someone else? I will go to the court to talk.Unexpectedly, the court said: "Someone from your unit has come to ask you to divorce." I was taken aback.They are still ahead of me.But I think there are still good people. The person in the court said to me: "Divorce must be done by both parties, and others cannot arrange it." He also said: "If you divorce him, it will be even more difficult for him to live in it, understand? ? "My heart became hot and I decided not to divorce.I think I found legal protection, more resolute.Now the factory hates me.The director of the Revolutionary Committee told me clearly: "We can't fight you, we have failed." They transferred me to the civil air defense engineering team to dig tunnels and punished me with coolies.I thought, God is too unfair to me, I have never offended even cats and dogs, why do I suffer so much?If I am not strong enough, I will work hard.At this time, someone put up a big-character poster, saying that I was my father's concubine. At that time, the big-character posters could write whatever they wanted, and deliberately abused me.Sometimes I just can't make it through, and I think about dying.When I think about my children and husband, I can't take this step!I just endured it.I always think that as long as my child and I are here, he will have something to look forward to, so he won't have other ideas.Boil it to death, boil it alive! The most difficult thing was during the earthquake, the house was destroyed, no one cared about our counter-revolutionary family members, there was no man in the family, we really couldn’t do anything, the unit didn’t care.No one picks up bricks to build temporary buildings, so they use broken barbed wire to cover the top with a piece of linoleum, and paste mud on the bottom, for fear of rain, half of it will be soaked up when it rains, and it will have to be covered with mud again; there is no electricity, and there is no one to take care of it. I had no choice but to light a kerosene lamp. When the wind blows at night, the wind comes in and the lamp flickers, which is miserable.The three of us, young and old, huddled together and fell asleep, and we slept like this for several years. Husband: At that time, we wrote letters purely for the team leader to read, and we had to check them, so we dare not write them; things got better later on.Look at these few letters left behind, I'm afraid you don't understand. Longevity and boundless life to Chairman Mao!Live forever!Live forever! Hello Mom and Dad! He did not listen to Chairman Mao and his elders, did not follow Chairman Mao's instructions, and committed a serious crime.In order to save me, the revolutionary masses sent me to the Public Security Bureau to study, and now I am studying in a Mao Zedong Thought study class led by the PLA to carry out ideological reform.Parents, please rest assured that I am determined to correct my mistakes and start a new life.It's good for my son to study here, don't worry about it.Every day, I study in the Mao Zedong Thought study class led by the People's Liberation Army.After seeing the letter, the parents sent the following things: soap, toothpaste, summer heat medicine, underpants, quilt, and medium-sized enamel jar. Son ×× August 7, 1968 Quotations from Chairman Mao: A change in world outlook is a fundamental change. ××(wife's name) is good!I received two letters from you this month, all worried about my failure to reform, and I feel very sorry for you and your child.After being educated by the captain, I have realized my mistakes, and at the same time, I am determined to deepen my confession on the basis of studying the theory of dictatorship of the proletariat, to see clearly the losses and impacts caused to the party and the people, to discard illusions, and to reform in a down-to-earth manner. Please rest assured, I will never do anything to make you sad again. (The illusion here means that I have been dissatisfied after 70 years of fighting, and I appealed to the higher authorities. There are always more than 20 times before and after, and they always reply like this: "Your judgment is not small, and class revenge can be considered. Remove it, you can change your background, worker. But now to defend the victorious achievements of the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution, these issues will be discussed later. Others hooked up and refused to reverse the case for me, otherwise, wouldn’t it mean that they were the wrong person?) Every time I see tears on the cover of the letter, and your figure on the letter paper, I have also made up my mind to reform it, because I had too many illusions, and the disappointment deeply hurt my heart.I took your concern not as motivation for reform but as pressure. I mistakenly didn’t understand my crimes, didn’t tell the government if I had thoughts, and talked nonsense with some people.That's how the captain taught me patiently and kindly.I am sorry for the education of the captain of the government, I am sorry for your constant thoughts, and I am even more sorry for the ignorant children who only know how to play with their father... I listen to the education of the captain of the government. They are my real relatives. They will educate me to follow Chairman Mao The guidance of "as long as you change from evil to good, you will have your own future" is moving forward on a bright road.I will never mess around like I did before the crime.I believe I will reverse the error as soon as possible.The captain taught me so patiently. When he saw your letter, he immediately educated me and asked me to think more about my family.The captain used a lot of brains to educate me, exhausted all kinds of methods, in order to let us reunite as soon as possible.One of my main problems is that I lack a clear understanding of crimes. In the future, I will definitely study relevant articles under the guidance of the captain; combined with Yao Wenyuan's "On the Social Foundation of Lin Biao's Anti-Party Clique", I will find out the class and social roots of my crimes. .In terms of harm, look at the impact.Of course, my level is limited, especially since the world is still bourgeois, so I hope you can help me a lot. ... I will not let you down, and don't feel sorry for me. I made a mistake, but I am determined to correct it.The captain educates me like this, and you care about me so much, I will change faster and better than others, please see my actual actions.Miss my child's illness, but have you ever recovered? How is my father? How is my mother? ××× (husband's name) 75.3.8 (Do you think this letter is not a letter of determination written purely for the captain? Let me look for the root of my class. I am a worker at all, and I am also a worker by birth. Where did I come from the root of the bourgeoisie? With my level of education, I have to be able to go up and down the line. Now that I think about it, I couldn’t help it. If you don’t make the captain happy, he won’t let you meet with your family. I can’t stand it. But you want Look carefully, some words are still stuck there, do you see it?) Hello ×× (wife’s name): The tenth congress of the party has been held, and we are all discussing and studying enthusiastically to enhance our confidence in reform.Through study, I have become more energetic and firmly believe in the party's policies.Please rest assured at home, I am good in all aspects, my body is very good, even if I am old, I weigh 136 pounds, and I eat well and eat a lot. (That's all I can say, otherwise they would be even more worried. In our place, wow, there is a witty saying, "Eat spinach all the time, eat leeks all the time, and eat dumplings all year round." Understand? When the spinach grows , When the leeks are old, no one will eat them, and they can’t be sold, so it’s our turn to eat them; we only eat dumplings once a year until the 30th of the new year, and after working for a year, we only eat one meal when we are done, ha... ...Eating Wotou every day, but can this be known to the family? Once on October 1st, we broke our fast and ate a meal of stewed meat. Each person had such a big piece. I haven’t eaten meat for such a long time, so I should be greedy Crazy, I didn’t expect to feel sick and vomit when I saw the meat. At that time, I was so stupid that I didn’t know that I had hepatitis.) My spirit is much more open than before, and I am less cranky, please rest assured at home.How have you been physically, mentally, and at work lately?我非常关心你的生活情况，现在知道的越来越少，好几个月没收到你的来信了，有些东西脑子里连个概念都没有了，我的家现在是个什么样子，有谁能告诉我?我算着时间(出去的时间)也快了。 ×××(丈夫姓名)1974．10．9 妻子：记得他刚进家时，我像是在做梦，因为我总梦见他回家的情景。真的一来，反倒像做梦了。我们还是住临建那破棚子，站不直身的小窝棚，但我心里温暖极了，因为这里真正住了一家人了。 和他重逢后的第一夜，我们几乎没说话，对脸瞧着。我忽然觉得我年轻了，又重新回到十年前的样子。我不敢轻易问他狱中的生活，怕他伤心，也怕自己经受不起，我们的精神都太脆弱了，再经不起任何折磨。我看着他睡了，我想起这三千六百个夜生活，只有星星和月亮跟我作伴，无依无靠，眼泪就流出来。 本想丈夫出来我就有依靠了，没想到他比我还不行，经不起风吹草动。他每天拿大棉被裹着身子，坐在炕上，一动不动，一坐就是一整天，连坐好几天人都没缓过劲儿来。和我也不说话，眼神楞楞着；从前是那么爱说爱逗的人，大概在监狱里整的。我们地震棚本来就不点儿大的小窗子，他还嫌大，用报纸贴上大半个，只透一点点光，这样他舒服；他怕光，怕声音，怕外边的一点点动静；人也瘦得像草棍了，好像风一吹就能吹跑赛的。 还说他每次来信，我都翻来复击看好多遍，明知是写给队长看的，但这是他亲笔写的。我当时根本没人说话，看他的信就像是和亲人说话了。我也给他写了好多信，可惜出狱时全部销毁，不让带出来一个纸片，全烧啦。 丈夫：她那些信写的比我写得好多啦。她好看书，不赛我。那些信要现在全留下来就好了。不过我这些信，从未给我儿子瞧见，没嘛好作用。我也不爱想这堆子事了，吃不消，不愿勾心事。另一方面，孩子知道了心里会有压力。我愿意他上进，靠拢组织，也伯他知道这些种下复仇的种子，生出些乱七八糟不健康的想法，害了他。反正我们这十年很少再提它，就当没那回事算了。 妻子：其实哪能啊！他这十年变多了，现在变回来一些，还是不太多说话，总不大合群，喜欢孤独。要不是跟您，跟别人不这么说，从来没这么说过。这回倒像"文革"前那样了。那十年中我们很少交流，接见一个月只有15分钟；那么多人，有人看管，什么也说不了，信又不能写什么，只有那两个月的共同生活；他一来我觉着都陌生了，不光是人的外表变样了，整个精神全变了，变化太大了，人全傻了，傻子一样。刚回来那意思，全不对了，特别迟钝，感觉全不对了。 您说我那小冬，现在大了，上高中了，可有点性格孤僻，向例不爱跟其他小孩一块玩，和别的孩子完全不一样。我们院大娘总说，你们小冬小时够可怜的，我还记得他渴了吃的墩布上的冰柱子呢；那会儿发工资吃顿捞面，买两毛钱的肉，就把孩子美得要命。他倒是听话，懂事。可打小就不愿跟人家玩儿，怕人家问他爸爸在哪工作，也怕知道事儿小孩和他吵起架来，说他这个短儿。现在小孩过的是什么日子。他身体也不好啊，营养不良，十岁了还尿炕，身体亏，提不住气，所以等他爸爸回来退钱以后，他总带孩子去吃好东西，想把那十年补回来给孩子。 丈夫：到后手落实的时候，补发了我四千块钱工资，给四千，判我十年刑，你他妈给四百万我也不干，谁愿意无缘无故在里边儿蹲十年？进去时说实在的是正当年的小伙子，出来我成了半大老头，落了一身病不说，精神上受多大影响。现在有些个个体户，一天就能挣一千块钱，难道说我这十年就值他们四天?再说，害我们的那些人现在还都过得好好的，一个一个还都人模狗样的。我耽误十年，比他们工资少三级，总也赶不上去，你说我能不气、不冤吗?我心里那个气，就别提了。有时气得直"卷"大街。他们欺侮我们时不讲法律，现在又讲了，他们倒没事儿人儿了。我告您，我的苦受够了，也该报复报复了。让他们也尝尝受苦的滋味儿。我在监狱那前儿，就想过要报复。好家伙儿的，用反革命名义把我关进去，想让我老婆和我离婚；她不肯，就硬不叫我出去。我在监狱就想过各种办法，咱也不急，常言道"君子报仇，十年不晚。"我先熬出这十年再说！ 刚头不是说到报复吗?我来这手，不跟他们拼硬，我要折磨折磨他们的精神。当时整我的，打我的，暗算我的，我心里都有点数，到底十年了嘛。我一补发工资，就在和平餐厅摆了两桌，我挨个请，我也会说，我说，"咱把仇恨记在'四人帮'身上，向前看；你们是害了我，也是受害者，我老×心胸宽广，只当没那些事，既往不咎嘛。咱们呢，低头不见还抬头见呢，不能总别扭着，还是好朋友，对吧，该干嘛就干嘛，今后一块好好工作。"结果，您猜怎么着，他们真一个没来，不敢来，越不来你越知道他心里有鬼。我是正大光明的，我怕嘛。我当时想，他们真来的话，我也免不了来点二楞子话，结果一个没来。后来我们书记总到家里来找我，也怕我报复，总哄我。说帮我落实房子，说让我有嘛事找他解决；另一方面，还暗示我，话都说到这份儿上了："今后只要你不找我们麻烦，我们保证不找你的麻烦。"我想你来这套呀，我就说，把我家抄走的书桌拿来，这桌子正厂长在用；我也不管你多大官在用，我马上要他也得给我腾。我非得栽你一下不可，当时抄我家时候也没预先通知过啊；还有卫生室那个茶几也是我家的，拿来。他们要给我买新的，我不要，偏要我自己那个。我不要赔新的，就要我自己那个。我说，给我拉到当院，绘我砸了，他们就乖乖地给我抬出来，我劈哧啪嚓把它砸了。还有我们家那些被子，也全要来当着大伙撕了。我这也是出气，出气给他们看看。我老婆养孩子在光铺板上，一条被子也没有，现在这些被子拿来，我看着也有气，根本也不打算往回拿。还有好多东西，他们都早都贱价分了，这就没法了。 有些对头不敢呆在这厂里，我一回厂，他们一个个全调走了，就是当初整过我的那些人。有一次我碰到那个革委会主任，就在她新调去的那个单位门口，我就"呸"地啐了一口，"卷"了她几句，骂她"操她妈的"，她不敢搭碴儿，她不敢，装没听见，心虚啦。我想故意刺激她一下，让她在单位门口蹦，出出她的丑，谁让她干那些缺德事呢。还有检举过我的那个哥们儿，我采取嘛法儿报复呢，我没事就往他家去串门，让他总揪着心。我一去，他们一家子紧张，我没事还总去，跟他一块看电视，聊闲天，他特别客气；心里有愧，他大概怕我给茶里投点毒嘛的，坐立不安哪，有一次我去找他借工具，他拉开箱子叫我随便拿，您知道干活有种三角刮刀吗?我拿了把刀，又问他有没有油石，就是磨那刀子的石头，我是成心的。他当时紧张极了，眉毛直跳，简直就认为一扭身我就会捅他一刀子赛的。他就总这么紧张，要是精神上脆弱点啊，非得精神病不可。不过，一连两三年下来他就挂相了，脸色不好看，人也瘦了，明摆是给折腾的。还有几个打过我的，见我面能躲就躲，心虚啊，好家伙！给人家害了十年哪，能不心虚吗，不过还有些弟兄，对我还真不错，我逮进去以后，他们过年还偷着送我家里点白菜嘛的，我老婆孩子有病也去看看，照应照应。这些人咱永远不能忘，患难知人心嘛。 妻子：他不在的那些年，也就靠这些个朋友啦。不过他们也不敢啊，总是偷偷的怕让人知道，这也算划不清界限。那些人也会抓碴儿的。那会儿我只觉得我没有亲戚，所有亲戚全不见影儿了，想甩也甩不掉我们这家倒霉亲戚呢，又穷。等到粉碎"四人帮"以后，我们家没事了，退钱了，一下子好像亲戚全冒出来了，也不知打哪冒出来的，我对他们也客客气气，可感情一点也没了。不过我想这也是人之常情，那会儿谁不怕事蚜，也难怪他们，我不记恨他们。 我想说，虽然那时我受了那么多苦，我不怨谁，怨也没用。就盼着像我们这样老老实实的老百姓，可别再倒霉。老百姓没权没势，倒了霉没办法，只能受着。我自己现在挺满足了，人没死，一家人又团圆了，又有一个小孩儿，挺招人喜欢，我知足了。这么对待"文化革命"行吗？ ***这十年毁灭不了的，都能永恒。