Chapter 62 Empty Terror—A Journey of Metamorphosis

——Interpretation of "Report to a certain Academy of Sciences" and the unfinished fragments after it In the long history of mankind, the struggle between the bestiality in human nature and self-awareness has never stopped; in the struggle, people's self-awareness has been developed, and human nature has also been improved and enriched.In the artist, these two aspects are extremely powerful and incompatible, so that the conflict is extremely fierce. Apeness is basic, self-awareness is learned (like the ape who writes a report).Before man learns this, he is just a free ape, and it is impossible for an ape who has learned self-awareness to be completely free from ape nature; in this sense, it is difficult to achieve complete self-awareness unless man is no longer a man. .So people are always learning, defeating the ape nature in the process of learning, and make the ape nature subdue (into human nature).In the artist's eyes, this is both a fascinatingly glorious process (the flag of civilization is flying over the territory of savagery), and a frustratingly tedious process (the man who constantly rejects the wild does not become a noble person, Instead, it becomes hypocritical).

This report records in an elegiac tone the journey of ape-man artists overcoming ape nature and achieving self-awareness.In the report, we see that this half-human, half-ape monster who behaves strangely due to the fierce inner conflict, has shown us countless great figures who have successfully performed on the acrobatic stage of the civilized world, so he has such a painful transformation experience. , It turned out to be so lonely, angry, and gloomy. reporter He was originally an ape, but his fate made him fall into the hands of others, and then he was locked in a cage and experienced unbearable pain.This pain is the primary enlightenment, implying that he must go through such a process if he wants to go out.In his desperation he realizes (belly) something else, which is that he must learn the behavior of those who are against his nature (that is, achieve self-awareness), must imitate, practice again and again.Deliberately fight against yourself so that you will find a way out of the cage.These are all taught to him through subtle influences from the surrounding environment.Since then he has kept his hope of getting out of the cage completely within a narrow range, and has made an effort to transform himself that is both disgusting and painful to him and infinitely attractive to him.Once this kind of effort started, he couldn't stop like a demon.He crazily learns behaviors that he is not used to and is not willing to, and attacks his own nature to beat it to the ground.After winning one victory after another, he finally successfully entered the stage of civilization.In addition to the joy that success brought him, the most important thing was to bring endless melancholy and disgust.And both melancholy and disgust come from his mind - the main activity that distinguishes him from the ape.He still went to the stage and performed (that was his way of life), but once the performances were over, he avoided people and passed the time in depression, and his life became more and more difficult every day.Such an ending was unexpected for him.His path is the path of all apes who want to achieve self-awareness and become a civilized man, and the path of all people who want to live art as a way of life.The ape has become a human being, and self-awareness has emerged, but under the influence of self-awareness, the freedom and carefreeness of the past are gone forever, and life has become a real torture, although there are occasional moments of extreme excitement.

After the metamorphosis, he began to despise the ape nature, thinking that he had left the influence of his hometown and become a civilized person; at the same time, the ape feeling in his bones made him understand the hypocrisy, paleness, powerlessness and unnaturalness of human nature. ;So he also developed a deep hostility towards people-the model he once yearned for.It was impossible to go back—he had never thought about it—and the prospect of going forward was bleak, and the road was getting narrower and narrower.I can only continue the self-knowledge business that has been going on for so long, and after a long, melancholy night, prop up my tired body and go to the stage to give another wonderful performance.Of course, after the performance there was depression, despair and grief, and the battle between the human nature and the ape nature in the body, the victories and failures in turn... the people working on the ship

From the very first day of his capture, the people on board had been feeding him rational signals.Their heavy footsteps, slow movements, unhindered demeanor of walking around, friendly and rude characters, habit of spitting regardless of place and not feeling dirty, and finally, their way of drinking, all constitute symbolic meaning. A series of enlightenment without words hinted at his way out.At that time, he didn't understand the true meaning of all this, but he was unknowingly infected and strongly tempted, so he had the urge to imitate.He was a special ape, with all the conditions for a human being, all he had to do was take that terrible first step.

When spitting, people on the boat spit at each other, but they never wipe off the dirt on their faces; but after he has learned the basic skills of spitting, he still wants to wipe his face clean spontaneously out of ape nature. "Spitting" reminds us of self-knowledge, and things that have been known are no longer dirty; so people don't feel dirty, and they don't choose a place to vomit, but just keep vomiting; that kind of incomparably detached style Make him envious.At the stage of drinking, it is the most severe and almost fatal test.He must follow the enlightener, swallow the most disgusting thing, and be satisfied afterwards.Starting from his nature, this can never be fully achieved, but he can continue to learn and improve his attitude and methods.And even so, knowledge can only always follow instinct; it is painful to overcome the obstacles of instinct before knowledge has arisen. The bowl of wine "self" is the most frightening and disgusting thing for an ape.At first he couldn't face it, let alone drink it; it was only after the people on board patiently impressed him with the power of reason that he began his historic imitation attempt.The process of trying was full of violent inner conflicts, and this conflict was exactly what the people on board wanted to see, and he was encouraged.The people on board never pity him, because pity is useless, and the way out of the prison has nothing to do with pity; nor do they try to alleviate his pain, because pain is enlightenment, making him aware of the need to find a way out.The people on board just helped him through the most difficult time unconsciously with their own constant existence, with their inner calm, with their kind guidance and hints.

It can be seen from the above that the people on board are the embodiment of reason.The first step of evolution is that reason enters the ignorant brain in sleep, bringing him calmness (heavy footsteps), so that he quickly restrains his impetuousness and begins to observe calmly.Afterwards, it was rationality that gave him the germination of thoughts in the chaos; thoughts made him vaguely understand his own situation, and under the repeated guidance of people, he knew how to get out of the cage.In short, reason makes him, who has a violent temperament, avoid the catastrophe of extinction and embarks on a tortuous and special road of development.

big stage of civilization When his domestication is complete, two outlets lie ahead: the zoo and the acrobatic arena.He loves acting by nature, and he chose the acrobatic stage without hesitation.Because this kind of performance is controlled and not free, but compared with the zoo, he can play the initiative to a large extent, that is to say, he can experience freedom during the performance.He said many times in the report that freedom is not the goal he pursues, what he wants is a way out, and performing acrobatics is the most suitable way out for him.As a human being, he bid farewell to ape nature forever, and also bid farewell to the freedom and looseness of the ape age; he deeply understands that people are the least free, and he can only perform, and experience what he wants to experience from the performance things, because he still has not lost interest in himself, in everything around him.

On the big stage of civilization, the least free human beings are the first to understand the mystery of freedom; they continue to sanctify freedom in their understanding, and show the pleasure of freedom to everyone with thrilling actions; Contradictory performances are so attractive that the acting career has been passed down from generation to generation.The reporter had chosen this profession immediately after he emerged from the cage; not out of infatuation, but to find a way out.This road can only go forward and cannot go back. After he became an acrobat, there is no other way out; no matter how pessimistic and world-weary, no matter how nostalgic for the previous life of the ape), the relationship between Laru and the female orangutan), the second Today, he still has to cheer up to perform, put all the sadness under his feet, and perform that increasingly perfect performance again, as if there is a hand pulling him in the dark.It can be imagined that when he entered the role, he forgot his sadness and self-pity, forgot all the unpleasant things in life, and finally forgot himself.How wide is the stage!How enthusiastic the audience is!What a show!

some further thoughts According to the thinking of the ape-man who wrote the report, he was captured by humans and had no way out, and then with the help of some mysterious power, he used his belly to figure out this way out.We can't help asking: Aside from the influence of the surrounding environment, are there any other factors that have played a role?As we all know, it is very difficult to transform a wild ape unless he has certain innate conditions, and he cannot become a human being just by suffering.There are very few ape-man acrobat masters on this land, of course it's not because the apes can't suffer.We know from the reports that in his cage he saw people walking around him unimpeded, and a noble wish arose in him.Perhaps what is described here is the key to his success.He was no ordinary ape; latent in his essence was a sublime longing for man, which, when the conditions were right, turned into imitative action and a relentless pursuit.No matter how oppressed he is by external conditions (these oppressions also play a decisive role), he must first "have" the ideal model in his belly, and then he will have the action of self-reform; One of the driving forces of determination.When he was captured, there were still seeds of rationality lurking in his character, so when he observed the rational behavior of the people on board in amazement, he might be inspired by them, so he didn't bite the latch and lose his life; Apes always choose the latter.

After his success, he was full of frustration, but he did not give up his acting career. It was also the prior model in his mind that supported him.Even though the reality he saw was unsatisfactory, and even though human nature was so ugly, he could still indulge in that noble yearning and pursuit in the performance, and the performance became his only real life.He couldn't tell what people should be like; but he experienced with his keen ape intuition that people shouldn't be what they are now.He told everyone this through performances, arousing everyone's thinking about the sublime and infinite.

May 13, 1997, Yingcai Garden