Chapter 34 A contest of two wills (1)

1. Wardens and supervisors, etc. K wakes up one morning trapped in his room.Law sent several envoys to enlighten him.These few people appeared in a ruthless manner, defending the dignity of the law; they were extremely arrogant and uncompromising, forcing K to accept the current situation.But that's just K's initial feeling.If we dig deeper, we will find that from the beginning of the matter, there are many ambiguities.That is to say, the law is not as monolithic as his emissary claimed, but very ambiguous, and the ultimate intention of the law is deeply hidden in this ambiguity. At first the guards spoke very threateningly: he was arrested and could only stay in his room, and they had to bring him breakfast; Considering your own case out of the question, nothing can be done.If K believed the guard, the subsequent scene would be over. K naturally didn't believe the guard's words, he insisted on breaking the principle, just because the principle was too absurd.But it's not that he absolutely doesn't believe what the guards say, and he's still afraid of punishment deep down in his heart, so he always leaves plenty of room for his behavior; he doesn't dare to block the road, and he has already vaguely felt this in his subconscious mind. the existence of a special law.Similarly, the guards did not adhere to the principle as they said, they did not want to keep an eye on K, but adopted a more relaxed and preferential guarding method.Maybe they did this to give K some room?In order not to block his way?Maybe it was to watch K's good show?Since the law is so terrible, why are they so careless when guarding K?

The strange attitude of the guards was the attitude of the law, the unselfish look suggested teasing, the teasing suggested unselfish. Of course, K immediately felt this ambiguity, so he immediately became ambiguous, fearing the law, obeying the law, and never forgetting to violate the law and challenging the law.The two trial processes, external and internal, began to evolve simultaneously. The next step is to meet the Superintendent.Overseers are more serious than guards. K. even had to dress in stately black when called to see him, and could not sit in front of him, but could only stand and talk.But when he was interrogating K, he played with the matchbox on the table, and he didn't like to listen to K's defense.Of course, his behavior does not affect the seriousness of the law, and K will never get lucky because of the supervisor's attitude.K, who was irritated by his attitude, was provoked by the three neighbors on the opposite street. Out of his fiery temper, he was about to compete with Fa, whom he had just vaguely realized. He wanted to obliterate the existence of Fa.At this time, the supervisor who saw it in his eyes spoke, and he told him firmly: the law cannot be obliterated.His statement made the hidden self in K stand up. K bumped against the iron wall of the law and voluntarily surrendered.Of course surrender is temporary.After the supervisor surrendered K, he immediately gave K another kind of preferential treatment.It turned out that the law wasn't really trying to arrest him and lock him up; it turned out that everything that had happened that morning was just a show.The supervisor told him that he was free to act.He even made preparations and sent three bank employees to accompany K to work in the bank, so that K would not attract attention for being late.His thoughtfulness with ulterior motives is in contrast to his toughness just now.He also told K that his daily life was going on as usual.Yes, business as usual, law cannot be separated from life.But at the same time, everything is completely different again, and what changes is only what is deep in the heart of man, his eyesight and feeling.This is the mystery of the law.The supervisor's interrogation is to teach K the secret of humor, which is the highest secret in the world.Unfortunately, performers of humor cannot be simultaneously aware of humor, which is presumably a prerequisite for K as a performer.In the final analysis, this kind of humor is too serious and too serious.One has to struggle with despair before one can consciously (or subconsciously) laugh at that struggle, or humor loses its ground.Due to this arrangement by Fa, K did not learn this kind of humor until the end.Isn't the contest between the supervisor and K the contest between the two selves in K's heart?It doesn't matter who will be the winner, what matters is that the flames of war have been ignited.

2. Landlady K. had to make an explanation to the landlady.Why?Has anyone forced him yet? K's motives cannot be investigated. If he insists on pursuing it, he may only say that he succumbed to the law by default, but he himself thought that this move was to erase the traces of the incident, that is, to erase the existence of the law.It was back to his old conflict.K, who is in the grasp of the law, is torn by such ambivalence, why doesn't he seem to be startled, like a ghost?The landlady certainly did not thwart his wishes (if he knew rationally what his real wishes were).After such a conversation that was half misunderstanding, half subconscious pursuit, K was completely dragged down by her.Who can decide such a thing?It is entirely possible that K himself wants to go into the water!It was he himself who took the initiative to discuss the morning's events with the landlady.He couldn't hold back anymore, and he must confide his inner conflicts to an elderly woman.Who knows if he did it for some kind of pleasure?Then he took the lead in provoking dissatisfaction with Miss Bistner out of secret jealousy; and when the landlady really slandered Miss Bi, he pretended to be a good person and lost his temper with the landlady.What the hell is going on in his mind?He came to repent, but while repenting, he sinned at the same time, as if insults were an excuse for crime.Perhaps his despicable act of shutting the landlady out of the door was his original intention to tell her?We must know that the crime of closing the door has once again established the existence of the law.The landlady really deserves to be a master of humor. K is so humorous that when he sees her, he gets scared and thinks she is really difficult to deal with.What is the most difficult thing in the world?The ghost in the dark depths of the soul is the most difficult to deal with. K could hide from the landlady, but not from his own soul.Besides, it is also difficult to determine whether K wants to hide from it or to look for it.Everything is plausible, unexplainable.However, judging by the serious, even pained expression of the landlady, she does not seem to be consciously humorous.So who is being humorous?There were only two people in the room.It should be said that Fazai is humorous.The landlady is also acting humorously, or she is making K aware of humor.She has the same task as the Overseer.The strange thing is that this terrible humor is not intended to eliminate K.'s will to rebel, but to maintain his rebellious vitality.With every humor, the rebellion grows stronger.Does the monster in the body deny the meaning of existence, or affirm it?How are the inside play and the outside play controlled by the same director?Confused, K enters the third act again, that is, he fights Miss Biestner.His performance in the third act is ironic.

3. Miss Biestner It's still erratic.Obviously the landlady had let him see Miss Bi's room, and from what he saw at that time, everything had returned to the original state, and K didn't need to apologize to her at all, but K, who had a ghost in his heart, still stubbornly waited for her to come back , he wanted to talk to her.talk about what?Obviously, he wanted to talk about the ghosts in his heart, not to really apologize. The apology was just a cover.He waited anxiously for the girl, a girl who was extraordinary and knew the details, a girl who could best understand his desires and preferences.Every word Miss Bi said seemed to be a tease.She wants the aggressive K to reveal his contradictions without reservation, she wants him to be entangled and get into a situation out of control.And it seemed that she was indeed innocent.Of course she couldn't be responsible for K's fall, and it wasn't her fault that she knew the truth.A person who wants to jump into the mire by himself, of course others have no responsibility for him.It turned out that K was subconsciously wanting to sink, and his actions brought him so many secret pleasures!He was impatient to relive the events of the morning.He reproduced the scene in the morning in front of Ms. Bi, a sensitive bystander, and proceeded from the original intention of negating the law, further confirming the existence of the law.And because of this proof against the original intention, and because of the heightened sense of guilt during the performance, he became cynical and broke, so he kept doing two things and blasphemed the law with all his heart.The impetus from the subconscious made him commit the heinous crime, thereby fulfilling the will of the law.It can be said that K's actions from beginning to end are ambiguous, whimsical, and self-contradictory.Every time he has a wish, his actions are in harmony with that wish, and the result of his action is the opposite of that wish.And what exactly he was trying to achieve was hard to understand, even to himself.At first it seemed that he wanted to apologize, but when the reason for the apology was established, he didn't apologize; on the contrary, what he couldn't forget was to act in front of Ms. Bi, and after the performance, he stalked and messed around, and even took the opportunity to ask the gangster to take advantage of Ms. Bi.Crimes just snowballed.We can't help but sigh: this kind of humor is not affordable for ordinary people, who has the courage to open the black box deep in the heart!Why is it said that K realized the will of the law?Because the law is attracted by sin; K can only be made aware of the law if he commits the crime himself.The black box was opened in this way, and the evil energy rolled out. The sober self stood aside temporarily, and let him be the devil king for a while, and let him reflect on it later - anyway, the law will not let the bad guys go.Who is Miss Bi?A stunner, a motivator of evil instincts, or a spy sent by the saying.This kind of person just caters to K's nature, she attracts K like a magnet; through her she establishes a close relationship with Fa, and this relationship still dominates K until the eve of his demise.With whom did Miss Bi cooperate tacitly with the performance?It's still the Fa who doesn't show up, or the ghost in K's heart.That guy is invincible after all, so this scene is a bit like leading a snake out of a hole.

The entire first chapter is a process of slowly unfolding inner conflicts.The form of projection is the conflict between K and the guard, supervisor, landlord, Miss Bi and others.In the conflict, K was restrained by the law for the first time, and struggled to get rid of the law.This kind of external judgment in turn becomes the observation of inner judgment, with clear layers and clear logic, leading us to a three-dimensional world.