Chapter 31 The Difficult Enlightenment - The Adventure of Encountering Yourself

Suffering from inner torment and about to be overwhelmed by fear, K came to the cathedral on that gloomy rainy day with a sense of luck.It made no essential difference whether he had come by deception or by a mysterious summons, and his personal opinion was immaterial, since he had come of his own free will.The handyman in black robe became the guide leading K to the final judgment stand.This strange guide did not give K a clear direction, but just looked at him expectantly, making K seem to walk to the other side of the small rostrum by accident.The small pulpit is the seat of the judge, and the priest will come up in a while.From this low, waist-high, tormenting little pulpit, the priest began K.'s trial. At first K just wanted to escape, but later he stayed because of a chance (it just seemed like a chance). In that deathly silent place, he faced the priest alone and accepted his own judgment.What kind of trial is this?We saw that there was neither a specific conviction nor any cross-examination during the whole process, and the discussion about the law between the priest and K seemed to be rhetoric.But this is only true from a worldly point of view.As soon as we actually enter the priest's mind (as K forced himself to do), we immediately feel that this is a final, life-or-death trial.During this trial, the priest described K's own bleak and hopeless survival blueprint for K, and all the answers to the mysteries were revealed there, but the conclusion was left to K himself as the biggest mystery.Who is the priest, and why is he so aware of the details?And why didn't he show up until the end?Why does K and his comprehensiveness seem both pre-determined and unexpected?Why did K see him in such an ambiguous situation, but was so sure of his identity?When we finish reading this passage, we will realize how much this priest is like the shadow we always avoid in our daily life, how much like the person we only see when our souls are out of our bodies!Yes, the priest is the self that K has been keeping him in the depths of the darkness, and he appears in the darkness at the last moment of fate, to collect the debt from K.It's just that this is different from ordinary debt collection. This is K's own debt collection from himself, and the priest only facilitated this incident with his sober analysis.At the end of the trial, the remaining fluke in K's heart was shattered by the priest face to face, and it was truly presented before his eyes.

Looking back and looking at the front, you will find that in this marathon trial, K's ego was not always absent before the priest.It's just that in the initial stage of the case, due to K's vague understanding and obsession with the world, these self-substitutes seemed extremely strange and unacceptable to him.The process of gradually recognizing these people is the process of judgment.The central figures are the guards, thugs, prosecutors, painters, and lawyers; others are supplementary to their existence.That is to say, these talents around K are the essence of K, and the essence is relatively unchanged, while K itself is constantly evolving. Only through continuous evolution (constantly approaching the law), can K recognize its own essence, and the essence is manifested through K's evolution, otherwise its existence cannot be determined. The result of K's evolution makes each stage of self appear in different appearances, from simple to complex, from concrete to abstract, but no matter how different their appearances are, they are all law enforcement officers.The only thing that changes is K. K has no definite charges, so the identity of the criminal is also uncertain. Due to the suspension of identity, he must make unremitting efforts to eliminate (or confirm) his criminal suspicion and change his uncertain situation. .In this way, K becomes the form of self-existence, a form that is never restful, constantly upward (or downward), and evolving towards perfection (or destruction).These self-embodiments, despite having the same essence, take on different aspects as they develop.By comparison, we can see that the lower the character is in the lower stage of understanding, the stronger the atmosphere of life (such as the vulgarity of guards and thugs); ).Therefore, the process of self-knowledge is also the process of taking time out of life. When this time-out develops to its peak, K will not be able to live at all. K has a very dangerous tendency to go to extremes (or suicidal tendency). He wants to find out the truth about everything, and lacks a self-regulation mechanism.In the attic that made it difficult for him to breathe, the painter pointed out two ways out for him, which are the two living methods of "apparently acquitted" and "indefinitely postponed".The artist explained painstakingly that K, who was violent in his heart, didn't want to hear it at all, and he was determined not to accept it.It was his tendency to go to extremes that led to the premature end.But how not to go to extremes?He also knew that the way painters and lawyers pointed out to him might be delayed longer, but with his character, he couldn't live like that.It is K's way to constantly take time out, abandon, and march towards pure nothingness without hesitation.He is both unconscious and conscious.During the process, the rich atmosphere constantly led him to a more and more profound self.

Survival Mode Structure A．Redneck - Watch rlN - Law B． IH Fr - Law From the comparison between K's secular justification and the priest's analysis, we can see that K's thinking is one-way and only starts from life, while the priest sees life itself as a contradiction, that is, not only considering life , and consider death (law).The priest had thoroughly analyzed both sides of the contradiction, but he had no opinion of his own on the question of whether to live or not. He just showed a deep confusion. In the end, K gave a negative answer with his actions.First, the priest reproaches K for being short-sighted ("Can't you see farther?") for deceiving himself too much; then the priest justifies the countryman's self-deception with a fable, saying: "For one thing The correct understanding and wrong understanding are not mutually exclusive," "Different views often reflect people's confusion".It can be seen that the priest does not object to K's self-deception, he just wants to guide K to consciously deceive himself, that is, to deceive himself even though he knows it is self-deception.In Fr.'s masterful analysis, the world (spiritual world) is made up of three parts: the countryman, the gatekeeper, and the law.The countryman and the law constitute contradictory opposites, and the gatekeeper is the medium between the two, and the three are indispensable.In this way we understand why the gates are only opened for the countrymen, why the countrymen can never really enter the law, why the gatekeepers must unswervingly defend the purity of the law and maintain a contradictory opposition (giving the countrymen a stool to sit on) , patiently listen to his entreaties, accept his bribes, and even make small teases to him.).As long as the country people live, this three-way situation will last for a day.So after the gatekeeper utters the first sentence that the countryman cannot enter, the second sentence is implied: the gate is opened only for him.The door opened for someone is the door of the law, which can never be entered. The country people think that they will be able to enter someday, so they wait by the door all their lives.This understanding of the countryman is also secretly hoped by the gatekeeper. (Of course, it is also possible that the country people deliberately deceive themselves).The results of the two desires are the same, and both contribute to the continuation of the contradiction.So it is said: "Right understanding and wrong understanding are not mutually exclusive." Throughout the process, what the gatekeeper said was as ambiguous and contradictory as the priest, and in this contradictory thinking, they all expressed their need for survival. confused.They do not want to eliminate contradictions (that is impossible), but only to explain and highlight contradictions, and of course the methods they use to explain are also contradictory.So after K listened to the priest's explanation, a simple story became vague and profound, beyond his worldly imagination, and haunted him like a nightmare.The point is that the law and the countryman always develop in parallel and depend on each other; while the gatekeeper as an intermediary has the characteristics of both, and this is him, and also the source of the infinite confusion of the priest. From his own standpoint, K could not help attacking and belittling the concierge (either the peasants were deceived by the concierge, or the concierge was also a foolish deceiver), on the one hand because of his need for survival, on the other. Aspects are also due to the one-way mindset that emerges from that need.Until the end, he was still not convinced by the priest, but he had vaguely felt the extremely rich and profound world that he did not fully understand. This world has opposite poles, and each board is infinite.Inexhaustible, and these two poles reflect each other and are the essence of each other.No one is richer and more comprehensive than the priest; likewise, no one is more confused and conflicted.In this way, K heard that special way of understanding from the priest, and followed his train of thought to torture his own soul unconsciously.The way out is not what the priest cares about, he just wants to reveal the process, and he wants K to appreciate the autocratic nature of the process in a completely free situation—that is, the transcendental nature of the law, which cannot be selected.None of this is new, since the first day K was arrested, people around him have been repeating the same truth to him, only in different ways and.But without thousands of repetitions that become clearer and stricter, people cannot overcome their own inertia; of course, even if they work hard, they still cannot overcome in the end, and at most it will be a tie, because emotion is the prerequisite for survival .Perhaps it can be said that the priest's way of thinking is a trap, and once he is caught, he cannot get out again.However, the priest does not advocate being caught without a fight, he just shows K the prospect of dancing in chains.Therefore, it can also be said that K's self-destruction has nothing to do with him, but only K's personal choice.If K. had not gone to such extremes, there would have been other miracles, but no matter what kind of miracle they would still have played out the same pattern.

Artists who live in priestly mode always have two impulses, two standards.He not only wants to take off the mask to expose the truth, but also is extremely obsessed with this masked life.These two aspects conflict from time to time, but generally speaking, they develop in parallel, and there is no distinction between high and low. K's self-destruction is just a temporary renunciation, otherwise the thin figure in the distance would not appear under the light.It must be dark to give up completely.