Chapter 20 Difficult initiations - a botched show

In the face of the Fa, people's struggles always appear extremely ridiculous. K's mistake is that the things he uses against the law are vulnerable worldly materials, and the law belongs to another world.As a gentleman of high society, K. wanted to prove his innocence. To prove his innocence, he was determined to show Miss Biestner the scene at that time, so as to convince Bi that how absurd and unreasonable it was to arrest him. .How is his performance?Not only did he fail to convince Miss Bi, but he made himself unsure. This effect was beyond his expectation!In fact, when he performed, the audience was not limited to Ms. Bi, and we clearly felt that there was another audience hiding in the dark.And it is this audience that makes K faintly feel his existence and become unsure.Later, when K's performance ended abruptly and hastily, he was still indulging in childish whimsy and self-defeating, committing an unforgivable crime against Miss Bi.If he realizes how clumsy he is in front of the invisible audience, he will regret it afterwards and despise himself desperately.During the performance, he did not fully realize that it seemed natural to commit a crime after the performance, and he was actually happy with his own behavior. Perhaps crime is most in line with human nature.

K's behavior is also different. He insisted on acting out the scene in person to convince Miss Bi, just like a child who doesn't care about worldly affairs, thinking that everyone can be persuaded.Miss Bi is not interested in his performance, nor does she want to accept his absurd suggestion; she is aloof, and she doesn't care about those trivial matters that K cares about. In front of K, she has a certain sense of spiritual superiority.Even so, she still exuded that worldly allure, and the rusty feeling made K dazed, throwing himself into her arms like a pig, completely offending her.

What is the basis of K?Perhaps he thought that by faithfully recreating the scene, the audience would see how unreasonable it was for such a respectable gentleman, high in the bank and successful in his career, to be a prisoner in one morning !What a scene of terrible humor!But if you look at it from another angle, isn't humor and ridicule just the opposite for K who is overwhelmed?What is he struggling against?Isn't it already clear what a gentleman, a career, a bank position, etc., are to the invisible spectator?Isn't even Ms. Bi half-heard and not affected by him at all?What is the meaning of his excessive enthusiasm for the e-body's superficial regulations?Maybe things that were of great significance to him just lost all meaning in front of the Fa.

The problem is that there is no other way to go, it is against his nature to confess the crime, and it is even more impossible to give up the way of life so far. So after this first poor performance, K's later life became a series of Attempts to prove the show.On the surface, it seems to be unconscious, but from his behavior, one can feel a certain kind of stubborn inner resistance and persistence, which has been carried through to the end before he uttered it from his own mouth. K has always had a sense of superiority that is opposite to that of Miss Bi, and uses this sense of superiority to fight against his judgment and restrictions.What is his sense of superiority?Isn't it just his upbringing, status, position, the basis for what he wants to prove with the performance?And upbringing.Identity and position are just forms of individual life, and these fragile supports are certainly not enough to compete with the extremely powerful court.Who is humoring K when he feels superior?