Chapter 19 Difficult initiations - the law is drawn to crime

The morning of K's arrest was the beginning of his inner self-examination.This incident was by no means accidental in K's career, and it was not by accident that Fa made the wrong target of punishment. The depths of it were not realized by K.However, the revolution broke out at last, and the unprecedented self-examination was carried out in this strange form, the world became strange, and a new idea gradually dominated his behavior, forcing him to abandon everything he had and reborn himself. At first, K kept emphasizing his innocence and innocence. With the development of the case, he became more and more confused. It was only when the ending came that he realized that his crime was only because he wanted to seize his life (using two words) Ten hands grasp the world).To understand this, the price he paid was also his whole life.What is sin?Sin arises out of self-judgment.Without the self-trial that began that morning, K could not have committed the crime.The initial self-examination is unconscious, although people around (rationality) continue to demonstrate to him, he is still in ignorance.So he resisted with all his strength out of the instinct to seize life, and put forward all kinds of weak evidence, such as his social status, his good impression in the public, etc., in order to refute the charges against him.He didn't understand that what he was facing was a special court. Under the control of this institution, his superficial regulations were like clothes that could be taken off at any time, meaningless; the law was ruthless and never tolerated. In this way, K involuntarily gave up those things that symbolized life (position, character, etc.) bit by bit, step by step towards despair, towards indifference to everything, until finally he gave up all of life itself.

If people live consciously, there will be insurmountable sins in front of them. Once they realize the sins, the punishment of the law will come.So man can never (not be allowed to) live fully consciously, nor can he be aware of sin in advance. K's suffering is not entirely due to the crime, but also lies in his ignorance and fear of the law.He wants to find out the truth of the law, he wants to find a tenable reason for his own life, and he wants to avoid punishment, but his efforts have not yielded results.For only when he commits further crimes (each effort is a new crime, and in a short time he commits many crimes), the law appears, and in such unexpected and repulsive forms that he is intellectually Totally unacceptable and a missed opportunity to get to the bottom of the truth.For example, with guards and thugs.The same is true for the meetings of painters and lawyers.These strange people are enlightening him, and he, due to the limitations of the emotional and life-nourished way of thinking, cannot awaken in time.

Is it an exception that K didn't find out about his crime until the end?Is it possible for him to wake up earlier?Would it have been better if he had followed his lawyer's advice?It can be expected that if he had heeded the lawyer's advice and brought the crime to justice, the process would have been lengthy and would not have had such an abrupt ending.If you put yourself in K's shoes and think about it again, this result is inevitable again. K's "weakness" is only that he values ​​life too much. He subconsciously does not want to wake up earlier. caretaker, etc.), this "weakness" constantly aggravated his crimes and was the reason for his rage at the counsels of lawyers and painters.It was precisely because he insisted on going his own way and was unwilling to give up on his own initiative that the disaster came prematurely.But no matter what the situation is, it is impossible for K to be fully aware of his own crimes; how can a person like K who is so passionate and pursues sensual gratification completely give up his right to life?It was his character that made Fa appear more terrifying, colder, and more straightforward.