Chapter 8 page eight

What is this secret?Is it bitter or happy?Is it sad or happy? "Why didn't I see you go to dinner?" Li Suoling was lying on the bed, keeping her hands on the book. "I'm not hungry." Fang Fang was also lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "What about noon? I didn't see you go to the cafeteria either." "I do not want to eat." "What? Are you sick?" Li Suoling put down the book. She is sick, almost never sick.Stay-at-home parents are the apple of their eye.Since childhood, he was in good health and did his homework well. He was admitted to the journalism department of the university smoothly, and was assigned to the newspaper office and joined the reporter department that everyone coveted. He never missed a single opportunity.Happy physically and mentally, what's wrong with her?She doesn't know the worries in the world.

It was only in the past year that she knew what it was like to be sad.It's a big worry that I didn't write a big newsletter.This time, she was gearing up, ready to overcome all resistance in interviewing and writing, and succeed in one fell swoop.What I never expected was that the resistance came from my heart—afraid to go deep into that house, afraid to see the bleeding wound, and afraid to hear the painful moan. "You will regret it!" Why didn't you listen to Li Suoling back then!She's had a family life, she's had a terrible experience, she knows all about it.She has long seen clearly: family mysteries cannot be explored, and family secrets cannot be disclosed.Blame only myself, like a wayward little girl, breaking into other people's homes, taking other people's pain as wealth, and taking other people's privacy as harvest.

"Ah! Don't, don't, give up this topic! Give up this interview subject!" Why give up?Why not in-depth interviews?Go deep and uncover the secrets of this unhappy family; pierce the scars of the family under this layer of tulle, ruthlessly dissect the husband and the wife, and hold their tearful hearts and suffering souls to the readers. Win readers.Isn't she doing a good thing for the society? However, what a cruel interview this is!Can you take it easy?Can you do it?Fang Fang thought about it, couldn't eat and couldn't sleep. "You have something on your mind." Li Suoling stopped reading.

"No, no..." "You can't hide it from me." "I didn't lie to you." "You found that Liu again." "Ok." Li Suoling sighed softly, and picked up the book again.Fang Fang sat up abruptly and asked: "Last time you advised me not to go, I asked you why, why didn't you say?" "Prefer not to say." "If you see me as a friend, you should say so!" "It's because I regard you as a friend that I don't say anything." "Why? Look, I asked why again." "I can answer you this time, because I don't want to influence you."

"I still have to ask, why? Because I am willing to be influenced by you, because you have more experience than me, and more life experience than me, I am willing!" Li Suoling showed a slight smile on her tight face.she says: "Fang Fang, you are different from me. You are young, you work hard, and you have a future. Just like those manuscripts, life is like a poem to you. I am a person who has suffered in life. My thoughts, My emotions, my views, are usually considered to be gray. Although I don’t think so myself, I still pay attention not to affect you.” "You should remarry."

"I will not marry again." "Is it because your marriage is unhappy?" "No comment." "You should apply for a job transfer. You are talented and insightful. It's unfair to stay in the proofreading department for a long time." "You are wrong, I love proofreading. In my opinion, what is put in front of me every day is not the original manuscript, not the typeface, not the small sample, not the large sample, but..." "What is it?" "You are what you think." Fang Fang's eyes widened, feeling incomprehensible.Of course she couldn't understand.Even Li Suoling herself has gradually entered into this realm that she can't explain clearly in her proofreading career year after year.

When she sits at the desk every night and reviews the manuscripts and samples, what unfolds in front of her is a colorful life and a complicated world.The sublime and the despicable, the beautiful and the ugly, the never-ending disputes, the ending of nothing.Even between the lines of the manuscript and the revised manuscript, she saw affectations, pretentious words, and ugly wives pretending to be beautiful.She was disgusted at first, then numb.She sees too much, the glasses are short-sighted, and the world is far away.She seems to be standing on a high place, looking at life at a glance. As a proofreader, she is destined to not be able to change everything she sees, but to fix the small flaws she has to fix, and then give it all to tomorrow.Beneficial, harmful, welcome, unwelcome, she does not think it is gray.The world is inherently gray.She doesn't think proofreading is inferior, but she thinks it is superior.She has seen more than people, and she has enlightened deeper than people.She didn't even feel any pain from sitting at her desk at night for a long time.It was this god-given solitude at night that allowed her to close herself off without having to work hard with others.She is satisfied with her work and life, and she doesn't need to ask for more. Is this gray?

Of course, she wouldn't tell Fang Fang about this.Even so, she said more to Fang Fang that night than in a year. "I'm hungry." Fang Fang should be hungry. "I have biscuits here." Li Suoling always had something to eat in the drawer. Fang Fang sat cross-legged on the small bed, holding a plastic bag of biscuits, talking while throwing them into her mouth. "I can't make up my mind right now, really, whether to interview him again." Li Suoling didn't answer, Fang Fang also said: "I went to him again, and we had a good conversation. It was about their relationship as husband and wife, but I didn't dare to ask any further. Tell me, can I go again?"

"whatever." "Follow me?" "If you want to go, go, if you don't want to go, don't go." "Didn't you say that I would regret it last time? Why didn't you stop me this time?" Li Suoling just shook her head. Fang Fang was very happy when his girlfriend said nothing.She exclaimed sincerely: "You know me too well!" Li Suoling looked at those shiny black eyes, at that smooth white face that was flushed with excitement, and sighed silently: "When you come back, I'll tell you something." "No, say it now!"

"Not now."